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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: If 2020 Was the Dumpster, Can 2021 Be the Fire?

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Cheers man, you too! I'm going dancing tonight :cool: been 20 months or so, I'm breaking my head over what I want to do regarding drugs, combinations, possible afterparty..... feels good to be back
Have a well deserved good time. Just riding out nasty flu here, nearly one week down of 6 total always.

So no tripping, not that I need it at all.

I actually need about six weeks break which is perfect lol talk about timing.

Too much weed and kava and nowhere near enough sleep, messy living but about to shower, try and just rest the day out sleep when I can.
 
The really lovely dog sleeps soundly!

I do envy. I needed to ask her for another character reference when she woke up, honest opinion no holding back.

She's funny I swear. She really cracks me up when I'm tripping.


 
I just need to vent some with kindred spirits... Wife away abroad, I went to our cabin in the forest leaving 15-year old daughter alone at home. In the morning I dosed 200 mcg ALD-52, but due to tolerance it was more like 125 mcg. 2 hours later I get a call from an elder sibling that my teenage daughter have consumed too much vodka and thrown up, but is ok now. Wife than calls me from abroad and demands I go home imediatly (2,5 h drive). This is when I'm peeking on the acid and when I see Hindu godesses transform into cats and fractals in the bark of trees. Not wanting my wife to know I'm tripping, I say of course I'll drive right home, but after we hang up the phone I realize it is a very bad idea to get in a car for at least 8 h.

My trip at times got me in to some moderate anxiety and feelings of guilt and shame for not being there for my daughter. Anyhow, she's OK and a bit wiser. Managed to calm down wife too, and I'll be going home tomorrow. But it has been a ride for me! Now time for some wine!
 
It was an 8 hour drive... understandable decision in hindsight, even without the acid, IMO. She also probably does NOT want to see you home right now if it's any consolation =D
 
This is like the only safe place for me here at times you know, this thread.

The openess, tolerance, acceptance, zero reproach, loads of good will, and also suitably it seems you don't even need Evidence around here lol.

So true for me too. I don't find much refuge these days: lost job, relationship with my wife damaged, anxiety and PTSD, all covid related. And now, without a vaccine I can't do internships, go to job fairs, ...my social life is destroyed. So this thread (social PD) is really soothing. A little sweetness in a world of bullies!

Kava and CBD hemp have helped me for the past 1 year, but it seems like I've reached the limits offered by these plants. SSRIs are crap (for me), benzos too addictive and cause anxiety rebounds. A friend refound 1gr. of MXE well packaged, he suggests I take small doses (5 or 10mg max) to help. I don't know if this is a good idea, but I have no other ideas...(never tried it dissos exept salvia).
 
so i cannot get a benzodiazepine and cannot sleep, will only get shitty drugs in the future. life sucks was a nice time here. have fun and stay safe. despicable people rule the world.
 
Fantastic night, 10/10, dancing, thinking... Being on Seroquel everyday has kinda disabled my like self reflection system, which was always running in hyperdrive before. I need to find the middle, golden road, because it's hurting some relationships and I do some weird things because I just do things and don't think on them. Dunno how I'm gonna do that yet, the headspaces are very thick and imposing. I used to overanalyze things incessantly and it was for sure one my issues, but going from 100 to 0 isn't the way either.

Awareness and perspective... always hard
 
Fantastic night, 10/10, dancing, thinking... Being on Seroquel everyday has kinda disabled my like self reflection system, which was always running in hyperdrive before. I need to find the middle, golden road, because it's hurting some relationships and I do some weird things because I just do things and don't think on them. Dunno how I'm gonna do that yet, the headspaces are very thick and imposing. I used to overanalyze things incessantly and it was for sure one my issues, but going from 100 to 0 isn't the way either.

Awareness and perspective... always hard
I hear you man and you have my fullest support and respect always.

Things have entered a whole new level of messy here after a not entirely unconscious but irresponsible and unquantifiable benzo overdose about 6 pm Saturday from which I managed to my surprise is 6 1/2 hours later.

I couldn't make sense of much. It was already an incredibly impossible day and situation in life healthwise before that overdose I emerged from it with no memory past 6 pm.

It was impossible to attempt any sort of normal living and I did not want to be sucked back into unconsciousness so I took 400 µg of LSD, plus cannbis, stong coffee And then a load of kava in short succession.

You should hear the tales my mum has recounted to me after she got up this Sunday morning from her perception after 6 pm yesterday from when I have no conscious memory and was affectively sleepwalking and would not have survived without my mum being around the house basically.

So I'm just piecing together the situation which I am doing very well and it all fits into place to the milligram and microgram and seconds of the clock and day and calendar but it's one hell of a mess and I am on a serious trip right now anyway without that.

I mean can life really be much more messy?
 
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been a long time since i took LSD in a high dose. Idk whenever ill ever take it again, that massive trip i did all those months ago changed me more than any one before it. No longer have any desire for lsd in a while. Never thought id come to the end of the acid chapter this one of the longest breaks i taken from my lsd binges in years. i feel great, i intergated all those lessons and now living my best life. Its like the clear path lit up and all the challenges i faced i smashed them out by trusting in the universe and the life processes.

I learnt alot of things in life this year while in solitude and had to rebuild myself after almost giving up. the LSD trips i had this year were some of the best of my entire life just for what they led to now. Now i no longer the LSD because im am living that dream life i was chasing in those endless trips, taking the acutal time to understand the lessons instead of just escaping the world did me alot of wonders. I achieved all my goals i set at the start of the year be it health wise, education, socially reconnecting with society etc after two years of mainly social isolation consuming mega fuck tons of psychedelics, i was so fried at the start of the year but i did recover now.

For the first time i have some peace of mind that i never thought could be possible. This is awake consciouness living i.e taking care of your health and self. Fitness and clean diet really did make a major difference, but that was only possible once i got my inner head cleared and my microdosing helped clear away the depression.


Psychedelics are some special mediences that i hope are legal very soon for people. So many people are suffering out there and im sure some acid would make their life alot more fun and alive.
 
Well I really have no perception filters now.

I was assuming a new DFMN was being scaffolded.

But now I am considering I will need to adapt to living without one because if you can temporarily suspend it then you can surely permanently suspend it the question is can you live in that state and how?

I'm really asking the question to myself. This stuff interests me. The psychology of the mind and consciousness.
 
been a long time since i took LSD in a high dose. Idk whenever ill ever take it again, that massive trip i did all those months ago changed me more than any one before it. No longer have any desire for lsd in a while. Never thought id come to the end of the acid chapter this one of the longest breaks i taken from my lsd binges in years. i feel great, i intergated all those lessons and now living my best life. Its like the clear path lit up and all the challenges i faced i smashed them out by trusting in the universe and the life processes.

I learnt alot of things in life this year while in solitude and had to rebuild myself after almost giving up. the LSD trips i had this year were some of the best of my entire life just for what they led to now. Now i no longer the LSD because im am living that dream life i was chasing in those endless trips, taking the acutal time to understand the lessons instead of just escaping the world did me alot of wonders. I achieved all my goals i set at the start of the year be it health wise, education, socially reconnecting with society etc after two years of mainly social isolation consuming mega fuck tons of psychedelics, i was so fried at the start of the year but i did recover now.

Congratulations, and I just wanted to say this was me too. LSD was THE drug for me and I used it all the time and often in 10+ blotter dosages. Now I haven't taken it in like seven or eight years even though I still have some and really don't miss it much just because I feel like I pretty much got what I needed out of it, even though I didn't stop tripping on other stuff in the meantime. I would like to take it again one day though, for old times' sake.
 
Call me mad by all means, but I'm really not looking years ahead.

Just at the now and immediate future, taking nothing for granted beyond that.

But we all have our own why are you off seeing things which can be problematic thing but also makes the world a richer and more beautiful place at the same time time.
 
I just spent 40 minutes on the phone with an applicant for the job position I am hiring for. Can't remember if I said in here but I'm going to be hiring 2 developers and then leading the development team at my company. It was my first time interviewing someone, I might have been more nervous than he was, but I think it went well. I have 2 more interviews lined up, one tomorrow and one Wednesday.
 
I picked up this NFT artwork from my good friend who is going by GANSY now (he is also a Bluelighter but I won't say who ;)). His art is produced via a neural network that he trained using historical and modern art from the 14th century on, he called it The GANS Machine. It produces art by interpreting the title phrase of the piece and generating its interpretation of it based on its training, using machine learning. It constantly learns to produce better and better art. It's really fascinating and exciting to me. :) I picked this up for almost free and he's auctioning off pieces for over 1 ETH now (almost $4k). I already have people asking me if I'll sell this one so I probably will soon but gonna wait a little longer I think. it's called "The Night's Plutonian Shore" (a phrase from my ibogaine trip report):


He also made this one below for me for free and named me (as Xorkoth) in the metadata. It's a first generation one so the style is very different but I think it's bad ass (it's called "Psychedelic Fractal Voyage Into Inner Space"):


His 3rd generation collection is here. Some of the art is just absolutely breathtaking, thought you guys would enjoy it:


It's cool for me to see the NFT art space opening up to actual art and not just dumb 8 bit hype pop art stuff. Gives me hope that I might be able to set something up to make use of some of my abstract acrylic painting digital prints.
 
we have had total lockdown extended indefinitely most likely for the rest of the year they say till we hit 90% vaccine target rate amongsnt all ethnicities, some of them only have 40% rates atm. So yeah bye bye freedom. I cant handle this shit anymore if this bitch doesnt let me out of lockdown ima do some shit
 
we have had total lockdown extended indefinitely most likely for the rest of the year they say till we hit 90% vaccine target rate amongsnt all ethnicities, some of them only have 40% rates atm. So yeah bye bye freedom. I cant handle this shit anymore if this bitch doesnt let me out of lockdown ima do some shit
I wish I could help you man I really do. I onow toughness extreme.

Lots different types of toughness though in each of our lives.
 
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