Keep up the good fight everyone! I agree that it?s almost impossible to do without some sort of help. My sub taper is going well, though I had to slow it down a little as the drops were getting a little more painful than I felt I could handle without doing something stupid. Luckily my Dr is very understanding, especially since we?re doing such a fast taper. I was basically dropping my sub dose by 2 mg/day every 3-4 days. Once I got down to about 8 mg the drops started getting pretty tough. I know I?m going to have to endure at least some pain to get this done, but I?m going to go a little slower in an attempt to minimize the pain as much as possible and hopefully therefore eliminate the chance I do something dumb like drink booze or something. So for the rest of my taper I?m going to drop 1mg out of my daily dose once every 3-4 days. I feel much better about this. I?m currently on 6 mg/day and feeling ok. Not 100%, but it?s very tolerable and a bazillion times better than when I was trying to cold turkey or taper Kratom. My original sub taper plan was a 28 day regimen, but with the alterations my Dr and I made it?ll end up taking an extra week or two. I?m totally fine with that. I?ve learned that for me it?s better to go slow and eliminate as much pain as possible than to try to push myself too hard. After 9 months of physical and mental hell I am physically, mentally, and emotionally wiped out and I need to go easy and be good to myself. So glad this thread has been helpful to so many of us. I guess I can?t speak for the rest of you guys, but for me this has been unbelievably helpful and encouraging. I just want to stress one more time the importance of a long term recovery program. I go to AA, but there are several other programs out there that can be utilized too if you don?t prefer AA. Find one that works for you and make recovery your top priority. I know that sounds like a huge commitment, but please learn from my mistakes and take my word that that is what it takes. I had 4 years of sobriety through working the AA program and when life got really really good, as it often does in true sobriety, I got complacent with my recovery program, put it on the back burner, and ended up struggling with it all again when life threw me a few curveballs. Curveballs are just a part of life. They will always happen and if you are not working a strong recovery program when they come your way you can end up back in drug and alcohol hell very quickly and easily. For me my recovery program is and has to be more important than anything else in my life; including my relationship with my wife and family, my business, all my goals and dreams etc. Because without a strong recovery program there is no relationship with my wife. There is no successful business. And my goals and dreams are impossible to achieve. Recovery is number 1. Always and forever. That allows me to live out all the great things, relationships, and dreams. I have to admit and accept that I cannot drink or take drugs safely ever again. By admitting defeat by drugs and alcohol...I win the battle. That?s the paradox of recovery. It?s essential. Love and light to everyone out there struggling. I will do anything I can to be helpful to those fighting this terrible disease. Partially because I genuinely care about all of you, but also because I know that in order to keep my sobriety and my recovery I have to give it away. Give it back. By helping each other, we help ourselves. Take care everyone and please keep posting. I?ll continue to do the same.