I also wanted to add that though things are now slowly improving a lot, I still have a long way to go and a lot of hard work ahead of me. I?ve been sober and haven?t taken anything, other than Dr prescribed medication for almost 9 months. Once I get completely off the Valium and Suboxone I plan to jump back into Real Estate, which is my normal career. I haven?t done that yet because my mornings are still a little rough, I get mentally and physically fatigued easily, and cerebral type work is very taxing (plus with winter coming the market gets tougher). So I?ve just accepted that I have to take the time to heal and taper properly. I?ve gotten myself in trouble a few times by trying to taper too fast, and ended up having to re-up my dose slightly. But things are a MILLION times better than when I started this thread a year ago. Shit, they?re a MILLION times better than 6 months ago. This is a lifetime program of recovery. I?m actually really excited about it. The friends I?ve made in recovery and the personal growth I?ve experienced are priceless. I?m almost grateful to be forced into recovery by this disease because it has given me, in the past, and is now again giving me a life that?s filled with abundance and love like I never thought possible. I?ll always be an addict/alcoholic, I?ll never be ?cured?, and I?ll never ?graduate?. I?ll be doing this till the day I die a, hopefully, sober death as an old man. Life is amazing! I?ve experienced years of excruciating pain, but I truly believe that there are many many more years of incredible joy and happiness ahead of me. Here?s to health, happiness, and love to all living things!