Interesting finding about sarcosine and nicotine, I am curious about the relation with choline, a transmitter I happen to know little about.. but of which too much is said to be tensious and dysphoric, antagonism is delirant, antidepressive (my experience w/ 500mg of diphenhydramine was weird though. Dysphoric, relaxed, anxiogenic, lack of dry mough and insects, strange gummi-like physical discomfort. Never tried any more anticholinergice besides akineton after 1mg of haloperidol triggered dyskinesia and it gave me insomnia, some euphoria which might have been just the reversal of the dysphoria but I think it was actual euphoria).
Yep, the DCK from Europe is better than the Chinese. The first I have had was a specifically bad batch, yellow and slightly oily yet dry enough to insufflate it. This was the one with prolonged physical comedown/after-effects (said gummi legs, but very different to diphenhydramine, kinda like slow sea waves in lack of a better description). But now that I remember more, I have to say that this too was during I was prescribed sodium valproate which was the weirdest substance ever in some way, smoking half of a cig would floor me in overwhelming euphoria, and it certainly was pro-psychotic. Got on it by accident, I was taking memantine for over a year which greatly levelled out both the acute comedown, after-effects as well as the chronical tension and anxiety. Then I had a crazy batch of 3-MeO-PCP, never really liked this chem but too either there are extremely different isomers out there or I got some other arylcyclohexylamine as the three times (from different sources) I've tried it, every time was completely unlike the previous experiences. One time was strongly dissociative yet not psychedelic. Second time was very psychedelic yet less psychedelic. Third time triggered the only manic episode I've ever had.. but the worst batch of any I remember was big rocks of DCK which were very impure (white with yellow spots) and had these horrible, slowly building effects which lasted for months, completely without any correlation to the duration and metabolism of DCK. Was the same time when I developed that urge to urinate frequently, unsure about coincidence as it was also a time of heavy use. Certainly caffeine worsens the residual of this effect and memantine tends to abolish it.
Finally somebody with the same strange reaction to opioids
indeed I've never found them to be particularly euphoric and too tried diamorphine 'to know it', it definitely is nicer than morphine yet still nothing compared to the dissoverse (the combination of both has something unique I have to admit, if there weren't these strong, strange auditoral hallucinations they'd make an ideal suppression of negative emotions). Even before any real experience with opioid I thought that dissociatives offer the very exact effects I would have thought opioids give you (intense, heavily euphoric and warm confidence, comfortability, mental silence, cozyness etc) just together with some others like stimulation and hypomania while the opioids tend to be more sedating and - yeah - less euphoric, less warm, less cozy, much less zen-like. More psychotic. More mentally and less effective painkillers. Having a worse, yet nowhere close to other (addicts) experiences withdrawal - sth I never really knew if I should attribute to that I did never use needles (some say though that intranasal is equally direct and indeed things like K, 2FDCK etc. have an instant rush w/o any delay) nor did I use astronomic doses of them but these would have killed me I guess as somehow opioids have weird tolerance pattern. Methadone was the prescription one I tolerated best yet still not completely devoid of psychotomimetic effects - which disappear with opioid use and tolerance(!) and the majority of dissociatives lack (!!). None ever besides DXM+DPH had similar auditorial hallucinations and never ever did something persist besides the auditoral things, as long as on opioids, and said physical effects from bad batch. And the urge to pee.
Similar for alcohol. Many years ago I liked drinking, but it never really changed my introversion into extroversion like it does for others or dissociatives are able to. Back then low dose codeine + DXM felt very euphoric, physically strange (strong muscle relaxation I'd say) ... and I really, really don't know but I keep having the bad feeling that these first DXM trips changed something to the worse in me. Might have been a natural development that would have come so or so, or not. Yet I feel that the first maybe 5-10 DXM trips had more permanent influence than all of it and the aryls I've done years later, possibly you shouldn't dissociative beyond the age of 25 or so, similar to you shouldn't do reuptake inhibitors before or early smokers show a different tolerance pattern than people who start to smoke late as adults. Need to read more about this. But maybe dissociatives are just the better opioids, heroin users for sure are attracted to the euphoric RC dissos if they happen to get contact with them which usually isn't the case given the ignorance of most dealers and consuments, but too they all get psychotic features.
GABAergics are strange too. When they put me on lorazepam with 17 for social anxiety and another shitty doc quit these avg 2mg/d cold turkey after 2 months, I went through a period of intensivied anxiety and tension (not unlike disso rebound yet the other way, with them it's much tension and less anxiety, the lora was much anxiety and less tension). Alcohol for sure gives me a rebound but no longer-term effects and benzos do the same nowadays. They probably do worsen the whole thing but using benzos for 1-2 months straight and quitting them turkey is no problem. Alcohol has become mainly a sedative w/o real euphoria or stimulation, a nasty rebound and benzos tend to feel cognitively limiting, sedative and even pro-depressive, dysphoric.
Guess NMDA antags are the only chemicals I know of which have the properties of giving you an anxiolytic and euphoric, stimulating, partially empathogenic high. Qualitatively different but comparable to opioids+stimulants and, curiously more similar, to the legendary 4,4'-dimethylaminorex - indeed the only other one which fits into the anxiolytic, euphoric pro-social category. Never did MDMA though but I am very wary of its rebound.
Tianeptine and kratom are both chemicals I'd like to investigate further, both atypical opioids with more stimulating than sedative nature (?) in a certain range of doses which is intrigung as I happen to like most the acute, stimulating effects of both methadone and morphine. The kind of effects you get when you have tolerance, but did less for a few days and then upping the dose again. An unique relaxing yet stimulating high somewhat remotely similar to acute high doses of pregabalin or yeah dissociatives without the weirdness. Guess part of it is histaminergic as it comes together with the itch and histamine is both wakefuless-promoting as well as undergoes rapid desensibilisation and I don't get intense itching, mostly I don't get it at all.
Well I happened to find peace with my interest for psychoactives much too late for me to do any carreer about them, as people kept and keep trying me to convince that I was an addict, reckless and would have a serious substance problem etc.pp. I tried to convince myself for long and indeed only know of one person with a similar curiousity and ability to remain (more or less) functional under the influence while most other consuments I met were the scene kind of reckless, ignorant and morally bad style of character ... none of them used dissociatives and none of them out of a medical neccessity though, the latter ones tend to be more knowledged and more functional. I suspect more of my kind to be hiding out there, many more than any politician or counseler would ever imagine but as long as these stupid legislations and social stigmata don't change we'll never know and never change for sure. Chicken and egg. But I think to know that the style of people seen in addiction clinics is a minority despite popular belief.
I would love to get to know open-minded professionals to learn more specific stuff or do anything productive with the acquired knowledge but it's just a hobby currently.. being labelled as a non-functional mental trainwreck (which I am in the longer run without NMDA antagonists) it's difficult to get a job, so I have plenty of time though and plenty need (together with limited access to) for chemical destraction given that for the last maybe 8 years the most time I had some idiotic legal problems and possible prison time hanging above my head - German speaking area, after some Asian and Arabian countries the worst part of the world to
do research chemicals. Happen to learn and comprehend things quickly as long as they fascinate me, makes me really sad to see my life completely wasted out off artificial, stupid limitations & consequencies following early-life mistakes, dysfunctional family, misdiagnosis, ignorance, criminalization of non-violent, non-amoralic things like interest and self-medication but that's how the world works I guess..
For sure thinking and discussing about dissociatives triggers the desire to do some. A feature pretty unique to NMDA antagonists for me at least, it is present with other drugs but to a much less degree, more 'empty' with them, less fueled by curiosity and mostly absent while on Dissos, on lower dosages I keep a somewhat healthy interest in doing things (more so than with just stims), they make all the little things in life very magic from time time like a trip back to childhood with an adult mind and most if not all excesses were out of acute negative emotions, lack of good equipment like exact milligram balances or equipment for volumetric dosing etc., fucked up batches. Sometimes hypomania but most of that would have been avoidable too as I can control it as long as it's not too intense for too much time. Just un/luckily I don't get any physical incapatition which both avoided psychiatry as well as lead to some legal problems.
Even excess doses of K don't incapacite the least of my body, standing in the way of more intense and profound experiences, being potentially dangerous and being unable to hole frustrates the hell out of the curious me.
Plan to research 2F-/DCK + DMT/tryptamine soon I guess
The only disso which ever was incapaciting to some degree was DXM on which I learned to remain functional and doesn't show these effects anymore .... increased peripheral NMDA receptor density, and implications of that in negative emotions/sensations anyone? And the 3-MeO-PCxy's which have the ability to become strong enough to loose contact with reality at least w/ eyes closed below an anesthetic dose. The weaker ones knock me out at some point without any real warning or physical symptoms other than some confusion - with and without morphine.
) but I have found that not all racetams work for this purpose with all dissos - I attempted to use a large dose of noopept (~50mg) to abort a post-peak uncomfortably weird medium size dose of of 3-HO-PCP (maybe 20-25mg...? Can't remember exactly) and found it did not work really at all, but gave me an uncomfortable feeling of pressure in my head and like my brain was being pulled in different directions... which obviously it was, in a sense, even if pharmacologically, rather than physically... so, caution is advised, I guess.