• Bluelight

    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

Rest In Peace, Nurse Ratched

We didn't always see eye to eye BUT she was so damn fair in her duties on here I had a deep respect in my core for her.
I wish I hadn't been so much of an asshole to her at times now.

If in some way you can see this I hope you are now free of all the bad stuff of life, fly free my sister ❤️


This one hit me hard.
RIP, Nurse. You were always good to me over the years and you made me laugh many times.
I am sorry to hear that. Nurse Ratched was clearly someone who did alot for the forum.

We briefly spoke a couple times and she really encouraged me to get sober and said she believed in me that i would do it. I was and still am grateful for the encouragement she gave me at that time. It helped to see me through.

She will be sadly missed. Rip Nurse 💙
I didn't know she was sick, either.

She did an amazing job of keeping up appearances. I wish I knew so I could've told her that, but I did go out of my way to compliment her privately because she's one of those people that just deserves it. I can't help myself.

This has been a hard year for BL... Be safe, people. <3
She was always kind, I didn’t know her real name was Clair until now. Fuck, I didn’t even know she had leukemia. Feel like I should have talked to her more now. She did a lot for this website, and she probably saved some lives in the process.

From what I could tell, she was truly a good person, what a loss
I feel bad for all of the losses this forum has been experiencing lately. RIP Nurse Ratched and RIP Cosmic Charlie
What the actual fuck. I logged back in to post something insignificant and got hit by this.

Heartbroken. Thoughts are with the family.
It's taken me almost a week to process this news. I am utterly heartbroken 💔 💔 😞

Claire, you were and always will be a very dear friend of mine. I will miss you SO so much. I am devastated that you're gone. Your stoic nature and strong will (i.e. stubbornness 😉❤) meant that you didn't let it on to any of us that you were so sick. I always respected those qualities of yours so I understand why you didn't tell anyone about your deteriorating health. You also kept business as business, and kept your personal life off the forum. I wish I had known about your decline in health, but it wouldn't change the outcome...

Claire, you single-handedly helped SO MANY individual people on this forum, and you always upheld the sanctity of the BLUA, i.e. the rules! You always went by the book. Some of the scallywags on here didn't appreciate this, but I always loved and respected your strong morals and ethics. We worked together so well as a team, I admit that I will be a bit lost on here for a while without you. You were constantly trying to make this forum a better place for everyone. Bluelight will not be the same without you, my love ❤

My deepest condolences to Claire's family. Claire was an amazing, strong woman, and she will be greatly missed by hundreds of people all over the world. Not many people can say that.

Rest in true peace, my love ❤ No more pain or concerns or suffering silently. Fly free and watch over us, please. I love you ❤
Oh no, that's terrible news. I wasn't even aware that she was sick. She was really supportive of me a while back when I was dealing with a troll/hater who was being very abusive on one of the threads, and I will always be grateful to her for that. She will be dearly missed.

Much Love,
Having trouble facing this one. I start crying every time I think about it and I can’t afford to cry right now. I’ll post something more meaningful later. But she was very dear to me and I’m absolutely broken up about this. This community will never be the same.
Jesus, it feels like every time I have a break from here I come back and someone has gone.What a Huge loss, to everyone who had the good luck to have come into contact with Claire. She helped me so much as we have similar addiction paths. RIP girl, its now all Done here so move on to your next great adventure.
It's with a heavy heart and teary eyes that I write this. The news of Nurse Ratched's passing has hit me harder than I could have imagined. She was not just a moderator here; she was a guiding light, a true force of compassion and wisdom. Nurse Ratched, or Claire as some knew her, was a beacon of hope and strength for many of us.

Her personal journey, marked by her battle with addiction and her courageous fight against leukemia, was nothing short of inspirational. She turned her struggles into a powerful force for good, dedicating herself to helping others facing similar battles. I deeply regret not having told her more often how much her presence and words meant to me.

She was like an online guardian angel, always there with the right words of encouragement and support. Her ability to understand and empathize was a rare gift, one that made this space a sanctuary for many. To say she will be missed is an understatement. Her absence leaves a void that will be hard to fill. I find solace in knowing that her legacy will live on in the countless lives she touched.

Rest in peace, Nurse Ratched. You were a remarkable woman, and your memory will forever be a part of this community. Your spirit of kindness and resilience will continue to inspire us all.

With heartfelt condolences and deep respect,

Touching tribute, thank you 🙏 She will be missed
I'm sure she touched everyone's life in a very personal way, I remember seeing her on Mycogeeky's and PopShrooms YouTube live chat sections, and I remember one time she talked to me there about my favorite plant, Hawaiian Baby Woodrose. She said at one of the facilities she worked at, there was a huge vining and flowering Hawaiian Baby Woodrose out front. I'm glad she took the time to tell me that, relate with me on such a personal level. 25+ years nursing experience is a lot, and I'm very glad she was wise in the ways that she was because she was a great woman and wonderful healer and she will be missed. Heck I didn't see her around the past couple podcast premieres and such, had been a little concerned but now I am at ease knowing the reason why, knowing she had such a difficult disease to content with.
Wow. I am not very active on this site, but when I am, she responded almost every time. She influenced how I think about using. I wrote her an email on here (I think they’re called DMs now) and she wrote me back very quickly. She understood mental illness, drug abuse, and legitimate drug use for real issues. I didn’t know she had leukemia. She was awesome. I know she will be missed by many, including me.