• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

RIP Cosmic Charlie

I didn’t want to have to write this. So I’ve been putting it off. I only met him in person a few times, but he was such a vibrant individual, so full of life. But the amounts of chemicals he poured into his body every damn day was astounding. He’d text me and tell me excitedly about what he was using, what he was about to get, and brag about his rare chem collection. He loved to cook, loved his gf Becky, and was a generous and gentle soul, no malice in his heart. But I could clearly see that he was headed for trouble. His last few texts to me were mostly gibberish. I texted “dude I’m really worried now” and when I didn’t get an answer I just knew. He was extremely verbose, both in person and on text. Not like him to not respond. He gifted us with some acid, too, like he did a lot of us; I think of him as like a sort of drug Santa, bestowing psychedelic goodness on us all. He just wanted to have fun and stretch the limits of his understanding, and he wanted that for us as well. I’m crying as I type this.

Farewell, friend. Catch you on the flip side, I guess.
 
It's very touching to see how many people Charlie touched here and in how many significant ways. I hope everyone is handling it as well as they possibly can too.

I have nothing to add other than that I've still thought about him I think every single day so far since it happened. This is obviously no offense to the many lovely people who still populate this forum and make it a lively place to return to, but there is a tangible, painful emptiness here without him.

My best wishes to everyone here.
 
It was after I had voiced my doubts in DM to him about both our dissociatives use, he switched the conversation to 3-HO-PCP.

To indicate that's all opiates/opioids to me, I posted "The Stranglers - Golden Brown".

I have known the song all my life, but only recently learned it was about heroin.

It was not supposed to have been a suicide commercial. But alas, Billy pulled the Charlie move one last time, ignoring context and choosing to follow literal instructions, tying himself to that mast.

I don't know how to feel about this.

We all could have done so much more for him.
 
Chris Timothy said:
It was after I had voiced my doubts in DM to him about both our dissociatives use, he switched the conversation to 3-HO-PCP.

To indicate that's all opiates/opioids to me, I posted "The Stranglers - Golden Brown".

I have known the song all my life, but only recently learned it was about heroin.

It was not supposed to have been a suicide commercial. But alas, Billy pulled the Charlie move one last time, ignoring context and choosing to follow literal instructions, tying himself to that mast.

I don't know how to feel about this.

We all could have done so much more for him.
Click to expand...
Please stop.

I had daily interactions with him. I begged him to chill. He was not open to that.

Are you feeling guilty about your own life? Then please leave his name out of your issues.

Please ....
 
Cheshire_Kat said:
Please stop.

I had daily interactions with him. I begged him to chill. He was not open to that.

Are you feeling guilty about your own life? Then please leave his name out of your issues.

Please ....
Click to expand...

I'm just reporting on how the events unrolled before my eyes. No doubt much more was going on, but this is the perspective I had through the DMs with him. Why do you want to invalidate that by calling this "my issues"?

If you have any further problems, please take 'em to DM.
 
Chris Timothy said:
I'm just reporting on how the events unrolled before my eyes. No doubt much more was going on, but this is the perspective I had through the DMs with him. Why do you want to invalidate that by calling this "my issues"?

If you have any further problems, please take 'em to DM.
Click to expand...
This is his shrine thread ...

If you cannot say something nice about him perhaps silence might have been the appropriate response.
 
Just found out....bro, the times we exchanged some words you were a friendly, cool and funny person. Man, so sad to hear this. Hope ure finally in peace ✌🏼. A big hug to the sky x
 
Cheshire_Kat said:
This is his shrine thread ...

If you cannot say something nice about him perhaps silence might have been the appropriate response.
Click to expand...

I'm not judging him. It looked like he decided to set sail. Then he just got bad luck with everything on top. I'm sick in my stomach over it, but what a graceful exit. He died like he lived. Rather uncomplicated, in a world of chemical complexity. Much like a butterfly. So majestic, yet so brittle.

He loved the bluelight community so much he gave his life for it. For whatever many reasons, he didn't get away with his high this time. But sure has he been the bravest weatherer of storms.

Bluelight simply will not be the same without him.
 
Thanks for the tips, CC.
Kind and generous.
Grieves me to see ya go but you know who loves you and will miss your presence.
Always
 
Somehow didn't see this until now. Never interacted with him, but Charlie's energy radiated through his posts. Grateful to have vicariously experienced many of his adventures as they unfolded. RIP
 
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