Random Stupid things your parents said to you when you were young

[TINK]

To this day I don't understand why when I would cry about something my dad would always say:

I will give you something to cry about

Obviously I didn't need that, I was already crying.

Another one was:

when you make a face, my mom would say your face is going to freeze like that
WTF?

If that was true then why were there no other kids walking around with their eyes rolled back and their tongues sticking out.

I also loved the fact that I would get punished to my bedroom.... where all my toys were.

 

[Budisti]

always watch to both sides when crossing the street.... oh wait

 

[spork]

"if you eat string cheese without pulling it apart in strings, you'll get sick"

 

[hobhead]

''you're a bastard. you're just like your father''. i was in deed a bastard as he was gone before i was born. spectacularly fucked up childhood!

 

[TINK]

If you swallow a watermelon seed a watermelon will grow inside you.

 

[LoveAlways]

To this day I don't understand why when I would cry about something my dad would always say:

I will give you something to cry about

Obviously I didn't need that, I was already crying.

lol my husband says this to my kids all the time. It means whatever you were crying about isn't a good enough reason, like for my kids if they cry when we tell them don't play in the trash itsl ike stfu thats not a reason to cry, keep it up and I'll give u something a good reason to.

the stupidest thing my mom ever said to me was that "There is no God" and she went into great detail explaining why

 

[TINK]

^^ i still don't agree with that. Apparently to me it was worth crying over.

Another one was... you wait until you have kids. You are going to get paid back for everything you did. HA on you mom .... NO KIDS!!!!

 

[xstayfadedx]

Eat your carrots or you'll go blind.

I hated eating cooked carrots and still do. I hid them in my glass of milk or under skin from chicken. Haha and my vision is pretty good.

 

[modern buddha]

"Stop acting like your father. It's annoying. "

And then she never actually told me how I was acting like my father.

"Enjoy your youth now. You won't have it forever."

I dislike this one. I think you only mentally grow old when you start acting like a boss.

 

[chrissie]

We got you from the gypsies. Be good or we're sending you back!

 

[Busty St Clare]

"Oh for Christ sake, you would complain that you have a hole in your bum"


"Don't put your hands in your mouth, you don't know where they have been"

"Go outside and get some fresh air around your bum"

"If you can catch a cricket ball how the fuck can you drop a fucking rugby ball?"

"Pull my finger"

 

[Max Power]

"Son, if you keep pulling on that you'll go blind."

"Dad, I'm over here."

 

[wooger]

^^ LOL!

If I was naughty my mum would pick the phone up and call 'father christmas' and explain to him that I had been really naughty and not to bring me any presents thay year. It was mean, I would cry my eyes out!

 

[The Chemist]

"Just try to think about something else"--my fathers way for me to deal with physical pain after beatings.

Also what he told me to do about a cut that turned into a 300cc staph infection that went about 3 1/2 weeks unattended.

 

[kultron]

"I love you but the love we have for Jesus is a different and stronger love"

Thanks mom.

 

[ocean]

"Girls don't fart" -My mother.

This gave me issues. :D

 

[Keaton]

"if you stick your tongue out at me I'll pull it so hard you'll turn into inside-out boy"

"A bird will poop on your lip if you keep doing that pouty face"

 

[Asclepius]

"Every time you lie its like hammering a nail into Jesus"- Good Parenting rule no 1#

~So apparently, as a Child I rode my Bike and played with friends when I wasn't busy brutally, torturing Jesus Christ; psychically, with my lies about stealing the Biscuits from the cupboard!


''Here are some Crayons, whatever you do DONT write on the headboard of your bed with them, okay?''

''This is Chocolate Cake for the Visitors DONT TOUCH IT!

''Just ignore him and he'll soon get tired of it, sticks and Stones will break my bones..'' He didnt!

''Why didnt you weed the garden properly, do it PROPERLY!
ME: What do you want me to do exactly?
''What do you think I want you to do, do it PROPERLY!!!! What in the hell is wrong with you?!

''I love you but I dont Like you, your my little punching Bag''

''You dont understand the Maths Problem because your Lazy!''

 

[modern buddha]

"No, that banana bread is not for us. It's for the bake sale."

"Don't ever end up like me."

"Now you know just how bad he is." (referring to my dad, after one little mishap)

"I want what's best for you. And that's not what's best for you."

 

[TINK]

Oh I forgot the best one, I know everyone has heard this one:

If [enter friend's name here] jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?