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When I die I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did --- not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
I thought it was like all the rest of the passengers in the car !!!!! lool.
 
I once bought a dog from a blacksmith. The first thing he did was make a bolt for the door.

A blond sat in a bar wondering how she only has 3 sisters but her brother has 4.
I just read that to Fiori and she laughed out loud though it took her one second to think about it this is because she used to be a blonde when she was younger
 
A young couple wanted to join a fundamentalist church. The preacher said
"To prove your commitment you two must abstain from sex for 2 weeks."

After two weeks the husband came to the preacher and said
"We really tried. We almost made it, but on the last day my wife bent over to pick up a box of detergent and I lost control. I had my way with her from behind."

The preacher said
"Well I'm sorry, but y'all can't come to this church."

The husband said
"That's OK. We can't go back to Walmart either."
 
I just read that to Fiori and she laughed out loud though it took her one second to think about it this is because she used to be a blonde when she was younger


a blonde walks into a library and goes up to the front desk and says "i'd like a cheesebuger and an order of fries"

and the librarian says "excuse me, but this is a library"

and the blonde WHISPERS and says "oh sorry! i'd like cheeseburger and an order of fries"


tell her that one but make sure you do the whispering

:)
 
a blonde walks into a library and goes up to the front desk and says "i'd like a cheesebuger and an order of fries"

and the librarian says "excuse me, but this is a library"

and the blonde WHISPERS and says "oh sorry! i'd like cheeseburger and an order of fries"


tell her that one but make sure you do the whispering

:)
Haha! That's great!
 
So Izzy and Bob were broke and hungry and saw a sign in a deli window that said if you can order something we don't make the meal is free plus we'll give you $20

they decided to try it. The menu was expansive and when the waiter finally came to take their order Izzy said" I'll have elephant testicles on toast" and Bob thought that sounded good and said I'll have the same

20 minutes went by before the waiter returned and put $20 on the table. "You guys are lucky we just ran out of bread."
 
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