TDS The 2022 Suicide Support Group

ocean

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 7, 2007
Messages
18,634
Location
In the shadow of the mountains by the sea
This is taken from a Suicide Support thread from The Dark Side:

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional -only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1. You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

2. Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

3. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

* Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans * Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S. * Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999 * Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line * Call a psychotherapist * Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen

But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

5. Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.


Help is never too far away. So please, reach out if you need any assistance <3


The National Suicide Support line in the US can be reached by dialing: 1-800-273-8255 - 1-800-799-4889 (Deaf Hotline)
The Salvation Army in the US and Canada: 24/7 Crisis Line 905-522-1477 Collect Calls Accepted

Good Samaritans In the UK dial 08457 90 90 90
In the Republic of Ireland dial 1850 60 90 90

The Samaritans in Australia :

Helpline 1: 08 9381 5555
crisis helpline

Helpline 2: 08 9388 2500
youth helpline

Helpline 3: 1800 198 313
country toll free number


If you are not finding a number above to help you please see:
Suicide Hotlines International- Listed by country
 

spork

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 12, 2004
Messages
14,190
Location
the present
Glad to hear that mrflowers. I hope this will be the start of some well deserved good changes for you! <3
 

foolsgold

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2010
Messages
12,898
Location
about finished with this world
thank you :) i've just been pushing it too hard of late and burned out lots of things came back from my past that are really hard to deal with constant use of stimulants has not helped so got in a very very dark place where stuff just would come out with no warning .
 

Vaya

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 5, 2003
Messages
6,256
Location
606-668 THz
thank you :) i've just been pushing it too hard of late and burned out lots of things came back from my past that are really hard to deal with constant use of stimulants has not helped so got in a very very dark place where stuff just would come out with no warning .

"pushing too hard"... story of my life, unfortunately :| It's terrible when we lead our selves into burn-out, isn't it?

*However* - On the plus plus plus side, having the self-insight to realize that you've done it, and that moving away from it works and is within your power, is itself an empowering piece of self knowledge. Live with that, and own it; it is yours, and hopefully will from now on be a part of your toolkit you can refer to when similar situations pop up in the future.

Once more, I'm so glad you appear to be on the rebound! :) We all rebound - if, and only if, we give it the time necessary!

Be healthy, be happy.
<3
~ Vaya
 

Vaya

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 5, 2003
Messages
6,256
Location
606-668 THz
i have bipolar 2 schizophrenia panic disorder and chronic back and neck pain and my doctor wants me to work

Do you mean to convey that your doctor feels that you are able to work? Of course, your boss would be the one wanting you to work... unless your boss was really amazing or didn't give a damn about his own job!! :D
 

Vaya

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 5, 2003
Messages
6,256
Location
606-668 THz
Is this doctor a pain specialist, or a GP, or do you mean a psychologist/psychiatrist?

Either way, I believe - given many other posts you have made recently - that going back to work and school is the right thing for you to do. I truly believe that. It sounds as though you are seeking direction; I have to tell you that, with no job and having finished college years ago, I have felt directionless - hence, purposeless - hence, lonely, irritable, discontent, depressed, ashamed and hopeless since losing my job in January. Thank my lucky stars I was hired at a restaurant just two days ago, and life seems to be coagulating again from the unraveled mess it had become. If you are anything like me, my friend - you need this; you can do it.

Obviously, you ought to be concerned about your pain management. But while you work that out, do your best to NOT let it deter you from keeping the two most precious things, external to yourself but intertwined with your life - that your active involvement will likely spur the psychic change I know you have been yearning for for years now. You applied to the school and you are going to excel. You already have a job which, in this economy, is something anyone ought to hold on to.

Building a stable life is a long process and requires a level of discomfort that acceptance and gratitude will smooth over. Afford yourself the opportunity to feel your feelings: frustration, anxiety, pressure.

All emotions, regardless of their quality, serve a key purpose that is intimately integrated with our conscious experiences.

You've got this, buddy. You've got this! :)

~ Vaya
 

mysticmusic

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 3, 2011
Messages
69
Location
On the edge
I have struggled with suicidal ideation intermittently for most of my life. I have used psychoactive substances, creating music, yoga, meditation, and caring for others as strategies to deal with this persistent insanity and have had too many crisis to count in my fifty years of life. Yet I can assure you that I have never regretted putting off my demise, and to my honest surprise, have experienced moments of intense gratitude for choosing to live another day.
If I could have anything right now, I choose to spend another day with Tami, but Tami shot herself thirty years ago, and for thirty years I've missed her and blamed myself. I guess she didn't know how much I loved her. I didn't tell her.
I would give everything I own to just be with her and watch one last sunset on the beach together.
 

Captain.Heroin

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
94,932
Location
Thousands of Miles Away From You
^Please remember what it felt like when you were feeling better. It'll feel that way again, these bad feelings won't last. You can get through this. <3

That's some amazing advice spork. You have to remember the good times.

so many things creeping back into my life its just not worth the loneliness and pain any more

Do you want to talk about it? Feel free to PM me or bring it up in this thread, if you want.
 

foolsgold

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2010
Messages
12,898
Location
about finished with this world
thanks captain but talking doesn't help its just one of them things that's going to have to play its self out but 20 years plus of no real human contact or even company other than my own is enough now i cant have relationships even friendship/work colleague are out of the question . like i said its a wait and see moment but something is coming iv had a couple of nervous breakdowns all ready this year no family to turn to no where really doctor just fob me off and well sorry but iv got to leave this now
 
Top