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Truth the actual admit something thread vs. time to get real you fucking losers

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Mysterier

Mysterier

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Illyria99 said:
Fuck!!! Why did I give that guy my number? He's called THREE times within the last 30 minutes. That's it, I'm changing my number. I'd been thinking about it anyway, to escape the bill collectors, etc.
Click to expand...

Can you not block him?
 
ghostandthedarknes

ghostandthedarknes

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i let the same god damn cat outta the same god damn bag again. just finished drinking breakfast to hold off the shakes. An exercise in futility. coming off a bit of a heroin run on top of it.
 
Xorkoth

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Addiction is a strange thing. I hate (but also find it fascinating) how we can know so well that we will regret deciding to do it but manage to convince ourselves anyway.

I'm in the middle of a long ass hangover from the latest opiate relapse. Last day (or maybe 2nd to last if I can manage to not dose the rest today) of a suboxone taper. Looking at weeks and weeks of trying to feel normal. Got kratom and gabapentin but not looking forward to it. haven't been feeling very good through the taper either. Oh well, light at the end of the tunnel...
 
6am-64-14m

6am-64-14m

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Xorkoth said:
suboxone
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I am fighting myself to not get this today but am convincing myself to get some. Had a short stint fuckin with this recently and took a few days to get back after stopping. Just starting to feel my low dose kratom again and don't wanna fuck it up but will undoubtedly.
Strange that my previous experiments with subs seemed to enhance the kratom... now it seems to block it. I do not get it but maybe there is nothing to "get".
Subs may be the only freakin thing I can find that isn't tainted... maybe I will use this as my excuse to cop some. What a bitch. I done made the call and waiting on the call-back.
Talk about double-mindedness. :rolleyes:
 
devilsgospel

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Xorkoth said:
Addiction is a strange thing. I hate (but also find it fascinating) how we can know so well that we will regret deciding to do it but manage to convince ourselves anyway.

I'm in the middle of a long ass hangover from the latest opiate relapse. Last day (or maybe 2nd to last if I can manage to not dose the rest today) of a suboxone taper. Looking at weeks and weeks of trying to feel normal. Got kratom and gabapentin but not looking forward to it. haven't been feeling very good through the taper either. Oh well, light at the end of the tunnel...
Click to expand...
I really like that first part there, I often find myself asking the internal question of "I've been sober, done well the past few months, but all I can think about is how drugs would fit into my new life, uhhhh why am I even debating this if everything was provably better clean?". Guess that's just being human.

Interestingly my newest strategy is to stay away from opioids besides kratom and just use benzos and stims. I am by no means trying to say "hey I figured it out guys I'm not addicted" but the most euphoric drug in my arsenal isn't one I really even enjoy (Adderall) and the benzo I have knocks you tf like Tyson if you take anything even close to an extra dose. It's weird, I'm definitely still addicted, but the withdrawal I get on my days off is negligible. I get the urge to party every so often and when I give in, I'm like "well I feel kinda good off this combo and could get a lot done, but like I definitely didn't need to do this just now for any reason".

That is, until I find a good deal on something I shouldn't ever touch again like H or PCP and then gloriously fuck my life up again.

Here's to slow slides.
 
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