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The Official "Secrets to Women" thread

PhorIndicator

PhorIndicator

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 7, 2004
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Ok, I ran a search and didn't find a thread like this, so I think it's time one got started.

If I knew the secrets to women, I obviously wouldn't be asking. However, I definitely DO have some observations on what seems to work. It seems like women respond to guys who are "just nice enough" to make them THINK the guy is nice, but who aren't afraid to be an asshole to them every now and then. If you're too nice, then women will shit on you. But if you're just an asshole, women will just think you're an asshole. It seems like the right "balance" between nice and asshole must be arrived at to be successful with females. I think it "keeps them guessing" or whatever.

Anyways

Let's hear it. Any input is appreciated. Both girls and guys.
 
By being naturally charismatic or having the mental power to continually moniter and edit behaviour as the situation mutates. Of course if you're like this by nature you've got it in the bag.

It's difficult to pull off and women can usually tell if it's being faked. Good luck. I drink or 2 usually helps to bring out the little satan.
 
Don't treat the ladies like a prize you win in a competition. A lot of guys do it (and I think a lot of them do it unknowingly). However, don't read into that too much - a girl likes to see her guy "being proud of her" in public, just in subtle ways, not the obvious "look at my hot-ass girlfriend" way.

And holding hands in public - girls really like that! I do anyways :)
 
i dont think there is a collective group of secrets to women, bc in my experience every girl has responded differently to things. i guess the best bet is adaptation.
 
^exactly my thoughts

everybody is different there is no 'secrets to women' you just have to know YOUR woman
 
- Dont be afraid to express your sexuality. Men have testosterone, and hey, it makes us horny. Dont be afraid to show sexual interest. Why hide it? Would a woman apologize for showing sexual interest in a guy? Hell no, there isnt a thing wrong with it. Men are the ones who should initiate and make the approach. The more sexuality you show, the more sexuality women will show you.

- Be wild! Be unpredictable. Girls love a guy who can show them new things. Talk about exciting things, wisdom that you have learned, things you think are funny, etc. Dont just talk about where she is from, how is that memorable or unique? Let her know that you arent some random chump, you are unique. Let out your sense of humor. Who doesnt like to laugh?

- Confidence! How is a girl supposed to like you if you dont like yourself? Hold eye contact, stand up straight with your head up.

- Dont be a wuss. Dont be afraid to disagree with a girl. Call her out when she does some stupid bullshit. Dont let her push you around or act like she is hot shit. Girls appreciate a guy who isnt easily dominated.

- Poke fun at her a little bit. Dont be mean about it, but if she does something ditzy, make a joke about it and laugh with her.

- Women like men, so damnit, be a man.
 
if there is a 'secret to women' it's recognising that there's no magic list of secrets which applies to all women.

alasdair
 
The subtle things count. Like when your SO comes into the room and you sigh. Or when you shush your SO when watching the football game. Or looking at her when she speaks to you. Or paying her compliments here and there.

There's supposed to be this psychologist that can sit down 15 minutes with a married couple and predict if they were to stay together or split with 85% success just on the subtleties and nuances.

What ever happened to be yourself? If she doesn't like what you're doing, let her give you a piece of her mind. And listen while you're at it.
 
I don't think "asshole" is the right way to put it. It's confidence and attitude females respond to. And you can definately be a nice guy and confident at the same time.
 
PhorIndicator said:
It seems like women respond to guys who are "just nice enough" to make them THINK the guy is nice, but who aren't afraid to be an asshole to them every now and then.
Click to expand...

you almost got it. i personally think we like men who are genuinely nice people but who have a streak of asshole in them. an asshole who acts like a nice guy is just a player, and we know the difference. a guy who we are madly in love with but still makes us scream "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! I FUCKING CANT FUCKING STAND YOU!!" after hanging up the phone every now and then for whatever reason, that kind of guy just keeps us hot. true.
 
exarkann said:
^so how does one achieve/maintain that balance?
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By realizing that girls are ppl too
They over analize just and much as any guy dose.. but just in a diffeentt way


aahahah fuck em all.. Im mad at females right and and if mine dosent dummy up real fast thats the end of her......Im a nice guy.. But Im not a dumb guy(like alot of "nice guys") I wont take shit and allready have a plan lined up....its weird.. and I dont wanna say here. But I dunno.. we'll see.
 
Re: Re: The Official "Secrets to Women" thread

Amazon Bee said:
a guy who we are madly in love with but still makes us scream "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! I FUCKING CANT FUCKING STAND YOU!!" after hanging up the phone every now and then for whatever reason, that kind of guy just keeps us hot. true.
Click to expand...
Ew, god no! I would run over that guy with a steamroller! I don't do raised voices.

I think alasdair and the other chaps who said "there are no secrets" were on the money. If someone digs you, she digs you. Tricking someone into liking you won't work for long :)
 
Re: Re: The Official "Secrets to Women" thread

Amazon Bee said:
you almost got it. i personally think we like men who are genuinely nice people but who have a streak of asshole in them. an asshole who acts like a nice guy is just a player, and we know the difference. a guy who we are madly in love with but still makes us scream "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! I FUCKING CANT FUCKING STAND YOU!!" after hanging up the phone every now and then for whatever reason, that kind of guy just keeps us hot. true.
Click to expand...

Ok, so let'sbreak this down. you say an asshole who acts like a nice guy is just a player, and you can see the difference. So does that mean you DO like an asshole who acts like a nice guy? Obviously if he is a player he is getting laid left and right, right?

then you say the guys that get you hot are the ones who are genuninely nice but have a streak of asshole in them. does that mean they are players too? Who gets laid more often (who gets you hotter)? the player or the nice guy woth a streak of asshole? like do you see my confusion here?
 
Re: Re: Re: The Official "Secrets to Women" thread

PhorIndicator said:
Ok, so let'sbreak this down. you say an asshole who acts like a nice guy is just a player, and you can see the difference. So does that mean you DO like an asshole who acts like a nice guy? Obviously if he is a player he is getting laid left and right, right?

then you say the guys that get you hot are the ones who are genuninely nice but have a streak of asshole in them. does that mean they are players too? Who gets laid more often (who gets you hotter)? the player or the nice guy woth a streak of asshole? like do you see my confusion here?
Click to expand...

i probably wasnt very clear. i like guys who treat me like a princess, who are sweet, gentle, gentlemen kind of guys. but, at the same time, a guy who is rough and does boy things and acts like a dude, which frankly is what girls often get upset by. im being vague. here's an example, a guy who is "respectful" to his girl and makes her feel like the sexiest bitch in the world, but still checks out the tits on the blonde walking by. he's just a guy, he can't help it and he's not trying to get in trouble, but his girl probably thought to her self "what a dumb asshole, dont try to hide it or anything...".

i don't know, you don't have to agree with me. i just don't find "nice guys" attractive anymore. i prefer a guy who is a little badass (in more ways than what i made an example of above) and a bit scary at times. especially a guy who doesn't put up with silly girlfriend fights, like most boys do.

as for your questions
-a "player" is an asshole; he's just a sucky guy. but he acts all cool and thinks he's making chicks think he's "a nice guy", but most of us think he's a big asshole. i don't know if he's getting laid or not, but he's looking for The Official Secrets to Women. so, i DON'T like an asshole who acts like a nice guy.

-nice guys who do asshole things are not called players. i like to categorize them into "people who might make cool friends". (take all this lightly, im not trying to be confusimg. just stoned eh)
-who gets more tail? well, a player probably gets semi frequent flings when he's lucky, but the type of girl with may be anything.. a nice guy with a streak of asshole in him probably is able to find the kind of girl he hopes for, or at least date some nice tail. i mean, this is all based on how i judge men really. i think hot good guys probably have more of a chance of getting a girlfriend than a player, who is usually a one night stand for a girl to silently regret the next month.
 
Re: Re: Re: The Official "Secrets to Women" thread

aunty establishment said:
Ew, god no! I would run over that guy with a steamroller! I don't do raised voices.
Click to expand...

don't you think you ever make your boyfriend want to scream?
 
alasdairm said:
if there is a 'secret to women' it's recognising that there's no magic list of secrets which applies to all women.

alasdair
Click to expand...

Amen :)

Although it's not always the case, time and experience makes you wiser... and that goes for both sexes. A lot of the men (boys?) I see here lamenting the fact that they don't understand "women" are actually talking about girls... just growing, learning, mistake-making girls who probably don't even know themselves yet. Cut a little slack for immaturity and you'll probably see that we're not all that different to you.

ps. I hope we're not going to turn this into another nice guy/asshole thread? If so, it'll have to be merged with one of the other 1000,0000 on that topic ;)
 
What are somethings NOT to do around women. Like what are behaviors or signals that turn a girl off to a guy or something (maybe even non-verbal) that just makes her think in her mind "any chance he might'cw had, he has no more". Like what things do guys often do that girls do njot like that guys alot of the time aren't even aware of that theyre doing it?
 
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