If you ever discover a way to digest food without agonising pain, please share. That is my biggest downfall even though I know how stupid using opiates to help digestion is! They help the pain and the pain was definitely worse before I went back to self medicating, for years, not delusion that part. If I have just eaten and I'm relaxed and comfortable, resting as the food settles, then something startles me or a person is angry near me then its straight back to agony.
I will get back to you n that. Digestion is a sophisticated business. It makes the Haldron Collider as sophisticated and advanced as a lego brick.
I just deleted that post you quoted. Amnesia lol. And using drugs and any old escapism to escape pain, a restful conscious the only target, results in me cringing each new day- oh shit did I really post all of that what a twat I am, I must stop getting so wasted every day (I tell myself in embarrassment).
I'm literal allergic to, I always say 99% of "things", because get me a list of all things typically ingested- foods, condiments, drinks, medicines, drugs, herbs, toothpaste etc etc and it would be minimum 95% intolerable.
Correct that, resolve my immune system's nutty fixation (that is the word too) with this needless gone-wrong response, I would have no difficulty soothing and fortifying the digestive process.
My hands are so tightly tied there though.
The chemical side of digestion sounds to be very core woth your own digestive problems.
Emotions, anxiety, stress, anger, anything but round the clock peace and calm, and you cannot expect adequate, near optimal digestion.
You can have full potential for complete digestion, mechanically, in all ways. Inject a level of stress, irritation or disturbing emotion into your mind, consciousness and therefore brain, body and gut, and digestive goes out the window.
THIS is why I started using benzos nearly two years ago. I have had an anxiety related eating, rather digestive disorder for years. It's untypical and complex (lol, digestive disorders are like their owners), and stems ultimately from the fact no matter how I am mentally, putting food into my body is treading a minefield of temptation, resistive genuine bodily need and craving for fuel and pleasure, chooding the safest explosives to get through more time in life, at the expense of a great and always highly vaiable, fully unpredictable level or respiratory allergy pain and suffication, which I manage 24/7 in ways that would see me crowned Olympian Gold if (only lol) proactively evacuating excessive mucus from the lungs, sinuses and throat was an Olympic sport.
It's impossible for me to have any close to normal, comfortable, enjoyable and convenient relationship with food, physically.
So I managed this ctch 22 so creatively, ingeniously and resourcefully for many years, emolying the most imaginative and powerful coping mechanism, never giving up, climbing Everest every day just to...and then again.
It's all too complex for words now, but the extreme anxiety and panic condition comes solely and directly from the physical horror or eating, breathing and scrapping to repeat again.
Like, I SERIOUSLY need to WANT to live.
When I want to die, as it's my focus in life, seeing no comfortable shore to swim towards, and this isn't being morbid to me, just plain real.
If it was a painless, karmaless bus, I'd say regretful but simply for the best bye byes and board the bus next week, or 5 years ago tbh.
When ironically, I'm glad to have developed mentally and philosophically as I feel I have even 2 months ago, looking back always, I am glad I a, not that same stupid man lol.
2019, the anxiety was disabling my digestive capability so much, I was only 50 kg's, anything below 67 is underweight for me.
And dropping it was. If I had hit 49 kg's no way would I have sufficed.
I needed emergency intervention for anxiety management, simply in order to digest enough food to stop the "rot" and first hold, then regain weight.
I started the Etizolam, and kava lare 2019. I also began consuming LSD in huge quantities again then, and haven't stopped since but is another story lol.
It worked! By January 2020, I was piicking up so fast,in every way. Gaining weight, energy, body and immunity working very well, life was picking up.
I began also t develop as a person with the proactive use of LSD as a tool, a an exponential rate.
CoShit put the breaks on "my" plan, led to here, ever increasing benzo dependance last year to insane levels.
The insane amount of LSD this year both has helped, with mental and spiritual development, but not with anxiety espec very recently, in a very acute way.
"Short story long" lol, I did gain lots of weight. I was over 63 kg's this year. Prob 62 now after recent weeks. I naturally lose, and when in goid condition, gain weight very rapidly, both ways.
Things have turned downward sharply the past 6 months,ma very heavy slide too, so many factors, and really not my own fault, or other's (well, I do blame people or beings but that's ANOTHER story or 3 lol), nor my own weakness.
I astonish myself seeing the strehgth in me and what I continue to defy, somehow.
It's like a James Bond movie. An actual perfect analogy for the ceaseless life edging nerve wracking intensity of daily life and fighting through.
Just very invisible to most except my mum, is the only person in the world who fully, but not even possible, understands exactly what led to here and hiw it goes, from a tick bite containing biologically engineered bacteria, ultimately.
To the common person, respectfully, "allergies", "mucus", "fatigue" etc etc are indeed experienced at all levels, but in the exact ways I am presenting it personally, they are just like words in a dictionary.
Curently, with my nervs in such a state of shock and agitation, I cannot digest food at all. I'm as close as ever to feeling forced to stop eating now. I didn't eat yesterday, had horrendous level of stomach and intestinal pain from so much gas, from fully (chemically (the mind), AND mechanically (the organs, bodily systems), to ride out.
Still very upset intestines today, but much freer inside. I may need to forgo food another 24 hours, just to clear the system after the recent stress level and body function breakdown. I'll see. Anxiety is beyond high still you see, there is no place for food it's just weakness makes it mentally tough.
April 2012, very well then actually though ambition and commitment, despite being 7 years into undiagnosed then Lyme Disease, I fasted at will, at home, for 160 hours.
Over a week. It was ill advised, unsupervised, hard as hell, and exacerbated the auto immune aspect of my Lyme, NS further dysregulated.
But I survived, in time, recovered, though the impacts of that particular fast stretched for years, even now surely.
@papercuts exuse me, I've gone WAY off track here. I'm really trying to stay on it. Lol. Can't think straight though.
So, the mental, emotional chemical side of digestion. You really CAN firstly, as well as simply need to direct your focus there.
It's paramount. And even if, as in my own case, emotions aside, "Eat-Like-Alexa" lol, I love that! In me, the mechanical, organ & system function isn't there, but the emotions on top is actually equally, because they are even forces, a hindrance to succesful digestion.
I can share with you some idead for how I would use supplements, foods, etc if no allergies, like Colosan colon clleansing powder, as example- IN my cupboard downstairs (my mum can use it), but it caises intolerable respiratory mucus like 99% of "things" for me.
Otherwise, that is just one thing I could employ to vanquish pain, gas, constipation, rejuvenate and renew.
Magnesium oxides. Good stuff I swear.
I have learnt of many such things in time, but disregarded as it's all just a tease.
I will subconsciously assemble something on that and aim to share some suggestions with you.
Also mental, emotional work. Is what you really need. Neuro Emotional Technique or N.E.T.
Or... "Heartspeak", same thing. With a competent practionioner, face to face, or fia zoom, skype...it woulld seriously help you incover and remove the root origins of the emotional blocks in your mind, directly preventing digestion, perpetuating the cycle.
But physical function also needs to be restored.
I see my special chiropractor next week. My digestiive system is shut down mechanically atm. I could go for accupunctire this week. It would help. Nut it's an outing I've no energy for and too depressed to to about.
Plus it would cost me 50 Britis quid lol.
But acupuncture is excellent. Go once, or twice a week, have accupressure massage as well, it's lifesaving, life changes and boosting.
That's one way you could seek relief I swear.
Or, how my chiropractor next week will use Total Body Modification to reset all my organs, systems, literally identify very specific relations between emotions and the body, it's miraculous and I was on death's doorsetp this spring, nut these treatments got me firmly into the green zone when at that time, otherwise, in May possibly, I would not have lived more than 2 weeks due to my bodily systems not functioning at all.
The T.B.M fixed that.
Keep this in mind. If I went 365 days no treatment, it's like a groken down car, on the highway, never getting a jump start.
You get me? These particular alternative treatments are and have long been that vital jump start for me.
I will come back to you on some other supplement and remedy suggestions.
