I was here a few years ago for my opioid problem, I did ok for a while but I’m in trouble again.
I want to stop but I can’t control myself when I have access all the time and I’ll have more Saturday and I’m afraid I’m going to take some.
My health issues have gotten worse, I need back surgery but I’m too afraid to have it done and I’m the sole caretaker of my mother.
A few years ago I tried to stop when I realized it was taking over my thoughts and my life. I was able to taper off and didn’t take anything for a couple months then was able to take 1 or 2 a week when the pain was too bad without problems for a couple years. It felt so good not to think about them 24/7 but I took more and more for the back pain and I had a tooth abscess and was hospitalized, had surgery and had lockjaw for about a month and I got so much pain med it wasn’t too long until it was everyday again. The past year I haven’t been taking as much at a time as I was before and I’ve usually been using for about 3 weeks tapering off the last couple days then wait a week to get more without feeling too bad.
Up until last month I only used oxycodone but I started taking mscontin. I tapered down to my last dose of 15mg yesterday and I don’t feel too bad except for some stomach problems and a little anxiety and depression. I don’t know if the withdrawal is different because its extended release, I was crushing them though.
Even if I stop filling my prescriptions I still have access because my mother is prescribed a lot and I take care of all her meds and sometimes she doesn’t need them all when it’s time so there are leftover and when I’m having trouble walking or anything from the pain she tells me to take one of mine or one of her extras if I don’t have any.
Sometimes the pain is so bad I don’t care but I end up making excuses and taking some when I know I could get by with Tylenol and ibuprofen. Sometimes I tell myself I need some so I can go do the chores that need to be done because there is nobody else that can do it.
My mother’s health is worse and my whole situation is worse and it’s nice to take a pill and not feel so bad for a while.
I’ve been smoking a lot of cannabis the past couple years, it helped me when I tried to stop the first time. I smoke so much now I don’t get very high anymore but I can’t stop myself with that either but I tell myself it’s not bad like taking pills and it helps me sleep.
I don’t know what to do, it’s starting to take over my thoughts again. I make plans based on if I’ll have pills left, whenever I leave house all I can think of is getting home to take some.
Sorry for the huge rambling post, I feel lost again
I don’t have anybody I can talk to about it but hopefully typing this will help me do something instead of just making excuses in my mind.
I want to stop but I can’t control myself when I have access all the time and I’ll have more Saturday and I’m afraid I’m going to take some.
My health issues have gotten worse, I need back surgery but I’m too afraid to have it done and I’m the sole caretaker of my mother.
A few years ago I tried to stop when I realized it was taking over my thoughts and my life. I was able to taper off and didn’t take anything for a couple months then was able to take 1 or 2 a week when the pain was too bad without problems for a couple years. It felt so good not to think about them 24/7 but I took more and more for the back pain and I had a tooth abscess and was hospitalized, had surgery and had lockjaw for about a month and I got so much pain med it wasn’t too long until it was everyday again. The past year I haven’t been taking as much at a time as I was before and I’ve usually been using for about 3 weeks tapering off the last couple days then wait a week to get more without feeling too bad.
Up until last month I only used oxycodone but I started taking mscontin. I tapered down to my last dose of 15mg yesterday and I don’t feel too bad except for some stomach problems and a little anxiety and depression. I don’t know if the withdrawal is different because its extended release, I was crushing them though.
Even if I stop filling my prescriptions I still have access because my mother is prescribed a lot and I take care of all her meds and sometimes she doesn’t need them all when it’s time so there are leftover and when I’m having trouble walking or anything from the pain she tells me to take one of mine or one of her extras if I don’t have any.
Sometimes the pain is so bad I don’t care but I end up making excuses and taking some when I know I could get by with Tylenol and ibuprofen. Sometimes I tell myself I need some so I can go do the chores that need to be done because there is nobody else that can do it.
My mother’s health is worse and my whole situation is worse and it’s nice to take a pill and not feel so bad for a while.
I’ve been smoking a lot of cannabis the past couple years, it helped me when I tried to stop the first time. I smoke so much now I don’t get very high anymore but I can’t stop myself with that either but I tell myself it’s not bad like taking pills and it helps me sleep.
I don’t know what to do, it’s starting to take over my thoughts again. I make plans based on if I’ll have pills left, whenever I leave house all I can think of is getting home to take some.
Sorry for the huge rambling post, I feel lost again
I don’t have anybody I can talk to about it but hopefully typing this will help me do something instead of just making excuses in my mind.