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When your mate is your dealer

Crash Override said:
Yeah the people who are putting doubt in my mind are mostly my family who don't get it. Everyone thinks I should be completely clean but I don't know if that's right or possible. To be honest I'm not sure I trust my own judgement. I don't know what is right. But they're the people who deal with it when I take things too far so maybe they are right. I don't know. I'm really very confused.
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I see. Yes, when it's family that you depend on for emotional or other types of support, I can see why you are confused and torn. I don't think they are right but I also don't see why there can't be some kind of compromise. And no, you probably shouldn't tell them to fuck off.

By going back over this thread, I noticed you have been clean for most of a year. I think that says a lot. Did you do it with the help of any community programs like AA or NA? I don't know if those are available in the UK. There is a community group that is like a subsidiary of AA called Al-Anon. It's specifically for family members of recovering addicts. I think something like that would be ideal for your family because I'm sure it would help inform them that not only are you working hard to stay clean but that relapse is a part of recovery. Whether they like it or not, it's just part of the process. It's only easier for them to hear it from someone else than from you. Maybe that would allow them to cut you some slack.

Ultimately this all comes down to trust. Do you trust yourself to stay clean and can you convince your family to trust you not to use around your friend?
 
I don't depend on them really. Stepdad is a psycho and hates my guts, mum changes her opinion on me depending on the day. I live with my step brother who is the most level headed of them all, other step siblings are too young. That's all the family I have. I don't see them often but still go crawling back from time to time and mum is often having to pick up the pieces when I'm not able to keep it together. It's hard not to trust their judgement. I don't know why I keep listening to it.

And yeah, well I kinda got forced to get clean by being sectioned and 5 months of the last year I was in hospital so I don't know if that counts as me keeping myself clean or having no option. Yeah we have NA here, I've been to a few meetings. Al-Anon has been mentioned in the past but my family would never go to anything like that.

Jerry Atrick said:
Ultimately this all comes down to trust. Do you trust yourself to stay clean and can you convince your family to trust you not to use around your friend?
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No I don't trust myself to stay clean at all but I don't think that is influenced by hanging with my mate. My family won't ever be convinced that anything I say is the truth so there's no point trying.
 
One of my best Friends is my practically only dealer, she can get her hands on a lot and always real cheap, quite a lot and very good quality...

She also lives only 5 min from me, so I have my orders usually almost right away, so its the best source I can Imagine...
 
Antiprosynthesis said:
One of my best Friends is my practically only dealer, she can get her hands on a lot and always real cheap, quite a lot and very good quality...

She also lives only 5 min from me, so I have my orders usually almost right away, so its the best source I can Imagine...
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I am sooooo bloody jealous
 
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