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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

XYLAZINE/BENZO/FENTANYL = BC Benzodope

jippytheclown

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 16, 2012
Messages
55
Last summer after about a year or two of purchasing "heroin" on the DarkWeb I had some tested that I thought was true heroin. I was in the Letten in Zurich during the 90's and I thought I knew real heroin. All were fentanyl mixes with noscopine (a poppy straw extract with negligible alkalines). My world was destroyed and the remaining 5 grams got given away. I slowly began using a BC source on the streets and ended up using benzodope, which is 100% of street heroin here. It is always a combination of fentanyl, benzo designer analogs of Atlzalam, and xylazine. It is nightmarish. The combo always gave me black-outs of 20+ hours, then left me sleeping for days, then taking up to 2 weeks to recover my physical equilibrium and be able to eat and drink, as well as put more than a single thought together.
Since Sept. '021 I have relapsed 3 or 4 times, remembering very little and losing a month of productivity each time. My wife has slowly over time told me what would happen every time. And little slices of memory have arisen in my brain. I am horrified and ashamed by what I have discovered that I have done. My dealer has surveillance video of me falling repeatedly head first off her porch and getting up, smiling, and walking away. I was forced into sobriety and withdrawal when I broke my ribs and could do nothing but lay in bed for 1-2 months. Apparantly I had some bicycle accidents.
The pattern of the high has gone something like this. One puff off foil and I am gone. My short-term memory disappears, which is precisely what a blackout is....no past moment, no next moment. My higher brain executive function or adult ego state is shot. First I experience delusion of sobriety....I feel nothing and only want more. I finish the single point and go get a gram or two and smoke until comatose. Prior to entering coma I have experience the Dr Jeckyl/ Mr Hyde syndrome. Suppressed parts of my personality surface with no executive function or monitoring of behaviour available.
I remember coming to and finding myself thinking about the possibility of the possibility of thinking about going insane and acting out....such as stabbing or choking out my wife. I then experience a deep feeling of disturbance at why am I thinking about thinking about thinking about doing something violent. That is as close as I can get to the actual experience of thinking of violently killing the love of my life. I am told that during this I am behaving paranoid and expressing accusations of conspiring against me on her part.
The dope being all consumed, I then enter a comatose state where I am found laying in bewildering positions in the oddest places. Thankfully, she monitors and adjusts my positions. Persons in BC have lain this way long enough to lose limbs and feeling in skin.
Some 20-30 plus hours into the experience this is replaced by falling into a deep sleep for a few days. Sometimes I wake up within this time feeling good and jump out of bed to redose only to find it is lost or consumed which enrages the beast once again leaving me railing against my wife for many hours. I am panicky and cannot link 2 thoughts together, and attempting to do so leaves me completely overwhelmed. I scream about this, and that I need a day off from responsibility or thinking. I stress my wife enough that she enters into a stress induced narcoleptic episode, during which she falls many times injuring herself. I can only scream at her about how overwhelmed and incapacitated I am, unable to do anything.
This stuff will leave you forgetting who you are and your foundational moral compass. I cannot not hardly function in my old brain (shivery, sweating, cold, hot, etc. GABA all fucked up, let alone access my higher brain identity and remember what my interests and joys are. This takes up to a month to recover from a single session. It is weaponized dope. It is evil. Absolute evil.
 
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By the way, a little about me and my posts from '012. I finally got off benzos and it took me 5-7 years to return to functionality. I had been put on disability pension because of my inability to commit to anything. I am still on methadone. I stopped drinking alcohol over the last 2 years. I am today 3 weeks after the last relapse and this is the first day I could think and write again. I have be educating myself on the novel benzo designer drugs and xylazine, as well as the BC coroner info. I should have died. I am who statistically dies. 58 year old white guy, occassional user, and yet I have thankfully survived catastrophic sessions with this, knowing nothing of even having relapsed. Never again. I love life and want to live.
 
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Hey, welcome back. That sounds harrowing. Benzo withdrawal and recovery is so intense, it's hard to believe they were pushing benzos as having no addiction or abuse potential for so long when they were new.
 
Yes, and I was prescribed a combo of methadone and bromazepam (my former preference benzo) by my treatment doctor. When I moved to Vancouver the Dr. would only taper me off the benzo. She had trained (a certification day course) with the Dr. from Edinburough, and still I knew more than her. It took a year to taper from 12 mg daily to 0 mg, then the hell really began. There was a period where I vomited/retched for a whole week. Not even water would stay down. My GABA feedback loop led me deeper into alcoholism, which led to 2 dozen times in detox, and a one month and 3 month therapy treatment. i think returning here and sharing is part of my catharsis.
 
i really feel for your story. I royally fucked up my GABA/glut receptor balance, did TMS in the middle of that all while dealing w PTSD/ope withdrawal after 3rd degree burns. Glad this trash did not take you out, you sound like you care about yourself and your wife a lot. I've been wanting to know what the experience of this stuff as like, and this post answers my question and it's about as I thought. After my own hell w benzos that has taken me several years to get to normality from (and ethanol. can't believe you kept drinking after the benzos!), I would be so pissed to get dosed with some unintentionally. I have been thinking to put them on my allergy list at the hospital. leave that shit alone though. it isn't worth it. not for the opioid high side (which sounds pretty overwhelmed by the xylaxine and benzo), and certainly not for the other two.

I'd get some kratom to have on hand in case I got "the itch" and stay away from that stuff entirely.
 
As if heroin addiction isn't bad enough, from a users standpoint.

These designed coctail's. A fentanyl analogue, a benzo I never heard of Atlzalam. Are you sure on that name?
And Xylazine, which basickly which is an analogue of clonidine and an agonist at the α2 class of adrenergic receptor. It is used for sedation, anesthesia, muscle relaxation, and analgesia. Seem only to profit the dealer at the cost of the user.
 
As if heroin addiction isn't bad enough, from a users standpoint.

These designed coctail's. A fentanyl analogue, a benzo I never heard of Atlzalam. Are you sure on that name?
And Xylazine, which basickly which is an analogue of clonidine and an agonist at the α2 class of adrenergic receptor. It is used for sedation, anesthesia, muscle relaxation, and analgesia. Seem only to profit the dealer at the cost of the user.
not to mention a2 agonists are also a bitch to get off of if you are on them a long time, same with benzos obviously. to me it looks like a ploy to make "triple addicts" as opposed to just opioid addicts (as if that wasn't bad enough).
 
not to mention a2 agonists are also a bitch to get off of if you are on them a long time, same with benzos obviously. to me it looks like a ploy to make "triple addicts" as opposed to just opioid addicts (as if that wasn't bad enough).
What if someone with natural low bloodpressure would accidentally ingest this cocktail. Not that i am planning on so. But my resting pressure is 90 over 60 last measurement. With an hearthrate of about 100, they do that before prescribing Amphetamine in case of high blood pressure. Contra-indicated in patient's with high blood pressure probably.

Which imo ruled out using any of the -dine's (Moxonidine/ Clonidine and Tizanidine). Don't know if that conclusion was right and not like I would receive on of 'em. But it seemed like they served a good purpose on their own.
 
As if heroin addiction isn't bad enough, from a users standpoint.

These designed coctail's. A fentanyl analogue, a benzo I never heard of Atlzalam. Are you sure on that name?
And Xylazine, which basickly which is an analogue of clonidine and an agonist at the α2 class of adrenergic receptor. It is used for sedation, anesthesia, muscle relaxation, and analgesia. Seem only to profit the dealer at the cost of the user.
Thanks, my mistake in spelling.....Etizolam
Etizolam is a thienodiazepine derivative which is a benzodiazepine analog. The etizolam molecule differs from a benzodiazepine in that the benzene ring has been replaced by a thiophene ring and triazole ring has been fused, making the drug a thienotriazolodiazepine.
 
We (my wife and I) are now around 4 to 6 weeks into the recovery from this last usage. We both still have days of nausea and feeling sick, followed by periods of restoration. The balance toward health slowly winning. We are so educated and horrified now, that I am sure we will never use again. Weaponized dope is here to stay until the Deep State drug trade is finally shut down. We no longer can live with ourselves supporting such a system of evil. We want to be on the right side of history, living for the benefit of our communities....not some illusion of independence through conformity that we bought into hook, line, and sinker. Although I still love looking on DW markets like WeTheNorth.
 
Gimme some Weed, Kratom and a herba Mate Tea for energy and I am close to content. Add a hobby, some social contact's and a bit of loving. That's pretty close.

But i loved Etizolam to bad its banned just a while ago. As I do rely on Benzo's. But the aim is to get un-depended. Give Kratom a try if you really wanna give in to Opoid's, it seems a way better and safer option. Check if Kratom is legal in Canada.
 
Gimme some Weed, Kratom and a herba Mate Tea for energy and I am close to content. Add a hobby, some social contact's and a bit of loving. That's pretty close.

But i loved Etizolam to bad its banned just a while ago. As I do rely on Benzo's. But the aim is to get un-depended. Give Kratom a try if you really wanna give in to Opoid's, it seems a way better and safer option. Check if Kratom is legal in Canada.
I just checked, and it is easily accessed here in Canada. We may consider getting some. Impressive pedigree. I already use Yerba Mate with one of those special cups with the straw. Thanks.
 
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