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You Know You're Rollin Hard When......

When one finds oneself trying to justify arranging to procure and move (what was it? 5000 hits? I had to let the Math go over me on that one lol) of ALD 52 because some madnut on BL says the stuff is mental.

Before one snaps to sense and accepts the procurement is more risk than it's worth.
😉
 
I have one (lots really)- true story.

When...you are all unexpectedly ejected from a "yard" at 10 pm Sunday night.
On say,..8 proper Mitsubishis...and a rare and sizeable insufflation of heroin...because of "crackhead" dramas...

You try to ride bicycle home.

You know you are rolling each time you reach one side of the road and wake up handlebar leaning on a car, cycle, repeat, at diagnonals the whole road leading to the river...

Which you have the sense to walk alongside, not ride, to the bridge.

Then, when you are crossing the river bridge in dark at 10.40 pm ish...you make the error of looking over at the dark night water below...

And suddenly you see BREAM everywhere! (As in, plural)..



Basically, if not before, by that point, on some level anyway, you know you're FUCKED! And a way from home still.

When that is the last thing you recall...until about 6 hours later, waking to for a mere moment from the splash more than anything, to just climb out of the river you have sleepwalked into...

To carry ON sleepwalking...until- 6.30 am, warm sunny morning, and for that time quite a lot of people around...and the policeman's voice snaps your sleepwalking hallucinating arse to with an "are you alright mate" after a morning jogger reported you 20 minutes prior dangling unconsciously over the bridge you find yourself upon waking, walkng back towards...

Now as if all of that wasn't enough, when....

Upon being alerted back into your body, and only 5 seconds thought...(Police...bridge....sunny....warm....BIKE! BAG! WALLET! Home! Work!

And it feels like forever has shot by. Lots of people about...look at watch- 6.30!

Gotta be 6.30 pm surely!)

In those 5 seconds. And answer the copper on the spur of the moment, without any thought or hesitation, word for word exactly this...

"I came down in the afternoon and fell asleep on the bench. When I woke up somebody had stolen my bag and bike..."

Then, when the coppers look at each other and pne says..."he's out of his head isn't he?"

And you twig it's actually 6.30 a.m. and think Whoops!

So without any thought you produce, again word for word..."I spend a lot of time (get this bit lol)- Reconceptualising (what a word too huh?) down by the river at night!"

When the police won't assist you looking for your wallet, bag and bike but insist on kindly driving you home safely....

True story. Just one.
 
When you're in the club and you see a hot chick. You proceed to walk over and put a big glob of Vicks vaporub on her hands and then massage it in while staring meaningfully into her eyes. Lol.
 
When you just got done working out from the gym your girls taking a shower you're out in your car waiting for taking in some nutrition another pretty girl that you fantasize about is in a jeep just sitting there you don't go to talk to her because you're faithful to your girl you Don't close your eyes you start deep breathing and meditating like you used to do you realize that you don't need weed to calm you down meditation calms you down then your girl shows up and you're off to get massages in a massage chair
 
When you've had sex in every position twice with your gf & can't come.... then realise your friends are sitting waiting for you in the garden!
 
When you're walking down a one-way street with your friend, and he tells you to stay in the middle lane.
 
When you whisper sweet nothings into your lover's ear, and then realize it's not your lover.
 
When your body muscles feel like they’re stewing in a sauna when you’re sitting on your couch and you’re peaking.
 
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