# Axl Blaze RIP: Tribute To The James Dean of Bluelight



## We are all ONE

Damn it


----------



## zephyr

Is this confirmed?  Fucking hell Jim.

Cant stop crying 


Love you mate.


Condolences to Claire, his family and friends.


Oh god no


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## Owl Eyed

.........


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## quiet roar

JFC, no.

R.I.P. Jimbo.

Condolences Claire.


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## nekointheclouds

Fuck. 

I wish I knew more details, Jim gets to play with Bowie and Prince now.


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## dopemaster

This is sad news.

He was such a cool guy and someone you could always talk to.

He will be missed for sure.


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## Bill

This one hurts the most


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## herbavore

What?? Is this really confirmed?


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## Care

Goddammit....... RIP Jim

At least he got to see his Cavs win a title before he went.....


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## Bomboclat

Man this is some sad shit. Gunna smoke a fat one for Jim.


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## One Thousand Words

Forever brothers in arms 






I will miss you.


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## coelophysis

An irreplaceable charm.. will miss the random convos for sure. BL won't be the same without his style.


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## animal_cookie

i've no words


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## papa

This is tragic. I think everybody loved Jim. I'm so sorry to see this


----------



## dopemaster

I checked his Facebook. Sadly yes confirmed. Think someone already said that.

Dude was the life of the party in the lounge and tiny chat. 

This is hard to comprehend. I wake up so many days wondering why I am still alive.

I feel guilty I can still hug my momma. 

It's just not easy to process cuz its the best people that go first.

I honestly feel like it should have been me when this type of thing happens.

Suppose that's just how I go through grief. So many friends irl and on here have passed recently. 

He was someone I planned on meeting irl so I get many people were closer. I know this is gonna be way harder for other people.

I don't know what to say but someone has to say something. This is hard to type.

This tragedy is a kick in the teeth for everyone here.


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## coelophysis

Yeah dopem, saw his sister post it, don't think she would be on some sort of joke, unfortunately.


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## JahSEEuS

Goddamnit.  Definitely one of the good guys.  His posts are what first interested me in this place.  

RIP bruv.

May the Lombardi meet you on the stairway to seven


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## Mel22

Fuck.

rip AXLbrah


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## L2R

there are no words, bro.


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## Felonious Monk

Fuck.. Always a good dude, he reached out when I became a mod just being friendly.
Told me the story of having used my username for something else years ago, always felt a weird mental connection because of that.
Goddamit 2016
rip in peace


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## morphine-dreams

I didn't think this was real at first.

I don't really know what to say, I wish it was a hoax, this shouldn't have happened.

Condolences to friends and family. RIP Jim


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## atri

please stop


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## xstayfadedx

Rest in peace my Virgo brother


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## cj

No. I don't fucking believe this. No!!!!!!! Fuck.....

He sent me a really sweet PM about a year ago telling me that he thought I was cool. It meant so much to me at the time because he was a BL legend and all round bad ass guy. This one hurts really bad. Times like this make me wish I believed in the afterlife. Either way the dude lived by his own rules while he was here. There is going to be a gaping hole on this site for awhile.


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## ego_loss

Fuck. I was going to invite him to my wedding. Hope to see him again when the zombie apocalypse comes.


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## cj

I know he was way to metal for this but it seems appropriate. This planet is going to miss you. Our little bluelight ecosystem will never be the same.


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## We are all ONE

I learned at a young age when things like this happen you don't put on you're drama hat and ask 'what happened'
At every possible avenue
Learn to empathy
Send your condolences 
You were not as close to those who are truly grieving and let them 
They don't need to focus on 'if only'

RIP my brother
Maybe you can give our fathers the tough love I gave you
Another true friend who knew me beyond 'troll' and knows I care and why


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## Bomboclat

Well said pole. This is a sad day for us all.


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## RedLeader

This one is going to hit me really hard.  There have been times in my life when Jim was one of my closest IRL friends. I have lots of great memories associated with him.

We never really talked a lot about it on here, but Jim and I, as residents of the same city, were really close IRL friends in the '10-'13 era.  There were times when I saw him every single day for weeks on end.  Yes, we obviously had a common interest in the lifestyle, but we had a graceful friendship that was not really all about getting high.  I often described him as my "extroverted twin."  I knew the real guy behind the online persona, that guy being very kind and loyal, intelligent, motivated, determined, etc.  I was always amazed by how well he held his shit together despite admittedly raging drug habits.  He was much better at functioning then I ever could be.  

I hadn't seen Jim in a while in person.  But we still chat online and whatnot.  If anyone seemed invincible it was Jim.  RIP.


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## Owl Eyed

thanks waao. that was well put.


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## -Guido-

He was the best. Axl was the first friend I made on Bluelight. 

Once this thread has run its course it's going to be moved into The Lounge. I fucking demand it.  Axl was a Lounge Rat. This thread belongs there. Long live Axl Blaze's Lounge antics.

I'm sick to my stomach. I'm actually crying. I was getting my shit together to eventually meet up with him sometime instead of pussying out like I did when I had the chance because I was fucked up on benzos, living in my gym, and being antisocial...

Its funny ego_loss mentioned a wedding... I was going to try to actually get some Bluelighters like Axl and Claire among others invited to my sisters wedding since my sister became a sort of BL meme back in the day due to Axl and 9mm lol. 

This really has me down. Axl was the definition of cool. He was part of the OG Lounge Rat group. He gave me some advice and helping words when I was going through some tough times and he would troll me at times. He is a legendary status Bluelighter and a legendary person.

This really fucking sucks. It just isn't fair. Axl was a good guy. He wasn't a junkie or dickhead. He had a lot going for him and he ends up in the ICU and passes away. Shit isn't fair. There are fucking pieces of shit out there that end up in the ICU countless times and come out fine. It makes me angry and it just makes me upset and sad. He didn't do a fucking thing wrong in his life to warrant it being taken. He had a big heart, he was funny, yeah he lived fast but he wasn't fucking stupid. He was smart. Smarter than he came off in his posts here in Social and The Lounge.


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## -Guido-

Bluelight won't be the same without him nor will our lives. My stomach is in knots just thinking about how his family and Claire are feeling about this. This is why I fucking bitch and moan about life being cruel, because it is. People who should live on or be given another breath of life, another chance  or a fucking miracle whatever, end up fucked while the fuckheads of the world dodge death a thousand times.


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## Pharcyde

GenericMind said:


> Hbd Jim



bless you child
i lold

I never got my discount on plastic bongs

im sad.


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## L2R




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## zzz101

whenever i felt under confident or in a bad spot in real life, i could think of axl and i would find huge inspiration and drive from who he was/is - and i still will.

axl impacted me a great deal and seeing this breaks my heart 

RIP my friend. 

i believed axl; axl was truly switched at birth with Kayne West


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## Blue_Phlame

Axl, I have no words to express the sadness of this news. I wish it weren't true.


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## Way|0st

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......................if this is  true this is some of the foulest stuff i've heard in quite awhile.  .....


he hated ppl asking how it happened when this stuff comes up so i'll just say if it was drugs (  he lead a pretty active life  so it could be anything )  most of you here are scumbags for ever rejoicing in  drugcation chat and all these  embarrassing tales  floating around about scrapping the barrel for some new drug that is very beneficial and thinking you can get through life on it when it's just making you high .  

 in this case and by far this case only ...it should have been me.....  not  jimbo....  not jimbo man


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## Pharcyde

[video=youtube_share;o6EFg5eWWlM]http://youtu.be/o6EFg5eWWlM[/video]

i cant videos properly

somebody help

(_fixed --skl_)


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## DrinksWithEvil

wow.....wtf.....

always were down with the fidlar.

will miss our times in tc. until next time.


----------



## SS373dOH

This is Fucked.. 

2016 was a bitch of a year and a busy one for the shrine.

And the little prick of a year has to make a last ditch effort to take a few more souls right at the end!


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## That_Guy

This is crushing news. We hung out only a handful of times, but he opened his home to me when we did. He was kind and fun to be around and I'll always remember him fondly.

Rest In Power


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## MikeOekiM

Despite the way he lived I still wouldn't have ever thought I'd be reading his RIP thread. at least to me it seemed like he had everything under control in all aspects of his life. sure he lived fast, but like someone else said he seemed invincible. I remember a post of his saying no matter what he'd be posting on bluelight forever and me thinking about us chatting on here old af

was one of the few guys i would make out with IRL

f 

sending love to claire as well


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## -Guido-

MikeOekiM said:


> Despite the way he lived I still wouldn't have ever thought I'd be reading his RIP thread. at least to me it seemed like he had everything under control in all aspects of his life. sure he lived fast, but like someone else said he seemed invincible. I remember a post of his saying no matter what he'd be posting on bluelight forever and me thinking about us chatting on here old af
> 
> was one of the few guys i would make out with IRL
> 
> f
> 
> sending love to claire as well



His spirit will live on through Bluelight and our memories so he will be posting forever. His posts will echoe through eternity. When our time comes we will be posting with him in another life, that's at least what I plan on doing and believe.


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## subotai

Axl was a good dude, very sad news.


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## -Guido-

subotai said:


> Axl was a good dude, very sad news.



He was the James Dean of Bluelight. The ladies wanted him, guys wanted to be him. He was the definition of cool. When he had the good job he enjoyed working, a young lady that loved him no matter what, his own place, living life the way he wanted and keeping it together, being happy and not living in the past, just looking to the future and aiming towards the sky I wanted to be like him. 

He was living the "Bluelight dream" in a way.

This really has me twisted. I just want to numb it. But I won't, I'll deal with it like a man because Axl would call me a sad cunt if I did.


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## anniegram

RIP you large handed giant headed Macedonian magic man


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## One Thousand Words

Rimmel will forever be my favourite lipstick. I can't send you flowers but at least I'll add to future royalty cheques


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## subotai

I remember I used to bag on him for repping about 4 different cities as his hometown based off his favorite sports teams but such is the plight of people in Ohio. He was definitely passionate about sports and thats something you can't just fake

Now I never met axl (fuck it, Jim, cats outta the bag right?) in person, but I always got the feeling he was a very genuine person

which is probably the best trait you can have really, considering there is a lot of ways to tell half truths and straight up lies over a medium such as the internet

man this really sucks. 

RIP Jim, the coolest dude to ever come out of Colomboscleveburgh


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## -Guido-

subotai said:


> I remember I used to bag on him for repping about 4 different cities as his hometown based off his favorite sports teams but such is the plight of people in Ohio. He was definitely passionate about sports and thats something you can't just fake
> 
> Now I never met axl (fuck it, Jim, cats outta the bag right?) in person, but I always got the feeling he was a very genuine person
> 
> which is probably the best trait you can have really, considering there is a lot of ways to tell half truths and straight up lies over a medium such as the internet
> 
> man this really sucks.
> 
> RIP Jim, the coolest dude to ever come out of Colomboscleveburgh



That was part of his schtick. Him and I used to exchange messages about how funny it was when people got pissed about him reppin all those cities and bragging about hi fucking job, money, etc...

One of a kind. He would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it though.


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## JahSEEuS

a bit more rock n roll looking here


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## -Guido-

He had a great sense of humour and knew how to get people to troll themselves.


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## Erikmen

I am very sad to hear about axl. Although I wasn't a close friend I send my prayers and thoughts to his family and closest friends. I have also lost someone and there are no words to describe how painful that is. With all respect. E.


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## PotatoMan

sigh

sleep tight, m8


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## CosmicG

Jim was the first person to ever reach out to me in The Lounge. After trolling the shit out of me for a few days he sent me a PM giving me the basic rundown of what TL was all about. Told me to stick around, and that I wasn't all that bad for a cumsick jizzraft  Jim and I had a pretty solid relationship, and if I ever had something serious going on in my life or just wanted to ask for someone's opinion no bullshit, I would shoot Axl Bleezy a text and he never once didn't get back to me with some genuinely insightful advice. We were supposed to go on a double date bruv  we never got the chance too, but maybe in the next life.

RIP my Ohio brethren  
I fucking love you dude


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## carl

I just can't believe it. It's been said by many that Jim was invincible. And he was. He was an amazing guy, his presence will be sorely missed by all of us that had the grace to know him.

R.I.P. in Peace Jim.


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## undead

I can't believe this is true. I know it is, but it's still so hard to believe.

Jim was a one of kind. All the cliches you hear about someone when they die... Jim truly was all of those things. There was nobody like him. He was just such a wonderful person to be around. The first time I ever hung out with him... I truly felt like we'd been best friends forever. He treated me like family from the start. He'll be sorely missed by many. The world truly lost a wonderful person in Jim.


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## Way|0st

i forgot what the setup was that they did here but when certain prominent members pass they do black light iirc

sorry if i am inaccurate but if that's correct, it's most certainly order here.


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## SS373dOH

I believe it goes black sometime in February for all the fallen bl brethren..


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## Seyer

May the Force be with you, Jim. Miss you.


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## undead

I'll truly miss this diabolical bastard. RIP Jim.


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## tathra

why the hell does everybody keep dying?  first this year MzFluffy turned up dead, then Jamshyd, and now Axl.  who's putting out hits on oldschool bluelighters?


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## DarthMom

rip you sexy beast


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## pharmakos

I need to quit putting off meetups.  

RIP man


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## Whosajiggawaaa

just got out of rehab today. first post i have read on BL.

really sad. rip brother.


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## We are all ONE

undead said:


> I'll truly miss this diabolical bastard. RIP Jim.



This is the post he would appreciate


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## cj

I think the site should go black for all the great members we have lost this year.


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## assclass

can i fax him my life essence so he can make an encore?


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## pharmakos

Please do.


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## Kenickie

Fucking horrible. He crashed here with us and his band and we drank 75 pbrs and I think his brother slept with geometricide. He was a chill dude and it was fun to talk football and nonsense with him. One of my fave BLers I've met and extremely sad. I hope his family and loved ones take care of themselves.


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## ChickenScratch

Ken broke the news to me.  I am very sad to hear this, he was one of the good guys.  Stay hard, Axl.

Hope all my lounge friends are well.


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## coelophysis

Miss you Chicken & Ken too, wish you guys would come around here more often.


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## We are all ONE

ChickenScratch said:


> Ken broke the news to me.  I am very sad to hear this, he was one of the good guys.  Stay hard, Axl.
> 
> Hope all my lounge friends are well.


I literally just typed your name in a text hoss
Hope all is good

Rip ax


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## ChickenScratch

Miss y'all as well.  I'll try and poke my head in more often.  Life is good, just crazy.  But this isn't about me.  It's about our brother axl.  

Love all around, brothers and sisters.


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## D's

axlBreh, what the hell man? what the fuck.. 

You were a good person on here, whom I called my friend. We had a lot in common, both enjoyed music, and video games. I really enjoyed talking with you in tinychat, and on bluelight. 
You will be missed, love you 
drew


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## guineaPig

Fucking Axl man...he was one of the first people that made me want to stick around in the lounge.
For what it's worth, I agree with guido that this should be moved into TL.
RIP man


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## Droppersneck

I'm so fuckin sad.


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## D's

I need to share this,

After posting earlier, I went to an AA meeting and wrote RIP Jim on my styrofoam coffee cup, and the meeting was on page 36 from the 'bigbook', which is 'Jim's Story', I was able to share about my friend Jim, and how much he meant to me.
if that wasn't god then I don't know what is.


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## atri

All his sports teams were garbage, but I'm pretty sure GEG would have cheated on me with him. She might still.


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## New

Goddammit.

Just... goddammit.


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## Lucy Noeno

he really was cool as hell and impossible to troll. I'll remember talking with him on TC way back when there was nobody else there and arguing with him about basketball and whether lebron is overrated or not. cant lie I thought of him getting turnt the fuck up when the warriors blew a 3-1 lead. dude trolled me hard a few times too.

It brings a tear to my eye seeing the old gang here. as much as I've been whiney af lately ya'll are my fucking family and my fucking homeboys who were there during some dark fucking days in my life. I feel like we're cursed or something please nobody else die...


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## coelophysis

None of us are gonna make it out alive in the end Rico bb


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## New

Lucy Noeno said:


> he really was cool as hell and impossible to troll. I'll remember talking with him on TC way back when there was nobody else there and arguing with him about basketball and whether lebron is overrated or not. cant lie I thought of him getting turnt the fuck up when the warriors blew a 3-1 lead. dude trolled me hard a few times too.
> 
> It brings a tear to my eye seeing the old gang here. as much as I've been whiney af lately ya'll are my fucking family and my fucking homeboys who were there during some dark fucking days in my life. I feel like we're cursed or something please nobody else die...



Are you feeling the 2016?

I am.


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## Lucy Noeno

I just want this dumpster fire of a year to be over


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## coelophysis

*shitstorm


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## Droppersneck

Laika, my first bl love, axl would want you to cun see me as you know what a proponent of freedom and anarchy he was. What a magnificent individual and im so regretting going on that date instead of taking him up on that invite. If I come down to Florida would you have me for a weekend so I don't miss anymore opportunities lol


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## angeleyes

You were a bloody kind bloke to me at a very shit point in my time and I will remember that.  

The rockstar axl energy effect you had is firmly imprinted onto everyone, this is exactly what we mean by legends never die, you are a fucking legend axl no one will forget your yarns you made your mark on the world. By fuck I'll be happy if I achieve 1/2 the LIFE you had.

Rest in paradise till we jam


----------



## zzz101




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## zzz101

axl i miss you.

i missed the time you convinced Lounge rats' you ditched the rock-star lifestyle/ squad, CA, and joined a christian rock band for ~3months straight


the time you had a axlmelt-down all over bl when it was alll over axltwin bro. You set plans for Glo to "suck the gay out of him" - but she flaked! you lost it. shows how much you really cared about axltwin bro.

you had a gift of trolling me back with my same weird sarcastic shenanigans. for some reason, you could totally relate to my humoUr and i felt you were you the only one who ever understood it and trolled me right back but even harder. 

when you and Claire would post under ur diff accounts always had me in stitches

u made Claire type out a fake-work-logistics email about shampoo getting split on amounts of stock and posted it on bl. We totally could tell it was Claire who wrote it b.c it had so much aussie slang lol

the times you posted phat stacks of $$$$$$$$$$$ and whenever you cashed phat checks from kit kat uk

the times when something made u sick to ur stomach and make u want to throw up

or when you came home to Claire after a long day at work

LeBron J.

the times you posted


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## spacejunk

fucking hell.

RIP jim.


----------



## ChickenScratch

I melted good at the Hawks game tonight.  We are season ticket holders. 

I hate that the fuckin bitch ass Cavs just swept the shit out of us last year.

I think the steelers are kind of a dark horse this year.

OSU doesn't even deserve to be in the playoff.   Unfortunately, nobody can beat Alabama and OSU sucks dick.

Me, my kid and fiancé got to see Tennessee beat Florida this year, live and in person.  That was cool.

Play it, drummer man.  Stay hard.


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## zephyr

He was one of my first friends made here. I am gutted.


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## claire22

Jim loved this place so much. A lot o you had a large impact on him. 

He was the silliest most confident most amazing handsome guy I've ever known. Him passing has destroyed me inside. 

I'll let you guys know how this happened ONLY so you guys don't make the same fucking mistake he did. 

As you guys know, Jim loved his dope. And me. And music. But I don't think you guys know that he had some irrational fear of getting medical attention. He used a spot to hit he should have quit using forever ago even when this shit was muscle deep. I pleaded w him told him he'd get an infection end up like his dad etc he never fucking listened. 

Anyway this thing actually closed up but the damage was done. We thought he had the flu for a bit, he got better, went to work, etc. but then he got a cough. He got skinny as fuck and I was so worried. I told him he should see a doctor 10x s day but he kept saying I feel better I'm fine just have to sleep. Turns out he had a mrsa infection in his heart. That spread to his lungs. It was too late. It turned my strong man into a shell. It was the most devastating thing ever having the conversation w a doctor about whether I wanted to continue oxygen tube and revive him if his heart stopped or let him go peacefully. I knew he would've wanted the latter. They told me he wasn't going to get better. His lungs were destroyed. :'(

Jim wasn't afraid to die. But now I wish he were. He always thought he'd be fine. For years he always did this and let shit get out of control before taking action

BL don't make this mistake. PLEASE! If it can kill my baby it can kill anyone


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## zephyr

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck 


Im so sorry Claire.

If you need help with anything at all please pm.

Xx


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## claire22

It has traumatized me for life. I just can't believe it. We loved each other so fucking much. BL plz don't take your health for granted. Don't let things get out of hand. Don't assume it'll only be skin deep. Things can get inside when you shoot. PLEASE don't make ur family or wife or whoever go through what jims has! We are all fucking destroyed. Don't let your fear of being told off for IVing take priority over your life!


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## dopemaster

My condolences Claire.


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## coelophysis

That was painful to read Claire.  Sorry for what you're going through right now I couldnt imagine. 
Brave of you to come here and give closure to the people who just needed to know "what happened?" You dont really owe anyone anything right now other than you owe yourself time to grieve and heal tbh


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## claire22

I wasn't gonna but I thought about it for a bit and realised it was info that might save someone else's life. 

I'm just beyond what any words can describe right now. I'll never get over this. I would do anything to swap places w him.


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## dopemaster

I lost a lover and friend the same way.

She was far from a spouse so it wasn't that hard of a passing as there are so many.

I am done with iv for what it's worth.

Shit gets real and dealing with it is difficult. I internalize everything and compartmentalize.

I haven't cried in ten years but this got me close as I can get. 

I wish I could but I can't, I am still grieving for many.

Jim was a true and sincere awesome guy and I took everything he said to me to heart.

Claire you don't owe people a 'how it happened'. I am so sorry for your loss. I was married before and quite young and I still care about her well being so I can inly imagine.

This is your loss more than anyone else's here. I am sure everyone is here for you, I am for what it's worth which aint much but it's something.

Take care of yourself Claire.


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## Whosajiggawaaa

claire22 said:


> Jim loved this place so much. A lot o you had a large impact on him.
> 
> He was the silliest most confident most amazing handsome guy I've ever known. Him passing has destroyed me inside.
> 
> I'll let you guys know how this happened ONLY so you guys don't make the same fucking mistake he did.
> 
> As you guys know, Jim loved his dope. And me. And music. But I don't think you guys know that he had some irrational fear of getting medical attention. He used a spot to hit he should have quit using forever ago even when this shit was muscle deep. I pleaded w him told him he'd get an infection end up like his dad etc he never fucking listened.
> 
> Anyway this thing actually closed up but the damage was done. We thought he had the flu for a bit, he got better, went to work, etc. but then he got a cough. He got skinny as fuck and I was so worried. I told him he should see a doctor 10x s day but he kept saying I feel better I'm fine just have to sleep. Turns out he had a mrsa infection in his heart. That spread to his lungs. It was too late. It turned my strong man into a shell. It was the most devastating thing ever having the conversation w a doctor about whether I wanted to continue oxygen tube and revive him if his heart stopped or let him go peacefully. I knew he would've wanted the latter. They told me he wasn't going to get better. His lungs were destroyed. :'(
> 
> Jim wasn't afraid to die. But now I wish he were. He always thought he'd be fine. For years he always did this and let shit get out of control before taking action
> 
> BL don't make this mistake. PLEASE! If it can kill my baby it can kill anyone



i cried reading this, am still crying.


----------



## One Thousand Words

Mad love to you Claire.

If you need anything just give me a yell. It's the least I could do for my brother Jim


----------



## Whosajiggawaaa

replace jason with Jim


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## dopemaster

I haven't listened to that in years.

Still can't listen to "wish you were here".


----------



## phr

I'm sorry you and anyone that knew him are going through this, Claire.

I'm sorry things, in many ways, ended the way they did for him.


rip


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## slortaone

so i put on shine on you crazy diamond and thought id check the social, first thread i saw was this but i saw waao posted it so i smirked and clicked really truly not expecting it to be real. after reading 5 or so posts it sunk in it was no kind of joke. im not gonna front like we were best of friends but he made me laugh and was an amazing fucking guy, BL has lost so many of the OG greats and he is the epitome of a bluelight OG great. my condolences and thoughts are with his family and friends. claire im so sorry and thank you for sharing in the hopes it might help someone else, thats so selfless of you at a time like this... please feel free to hit me up if you need anything, much love to you  my thoughts are with you.


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## Droppersneck

Man this is so fucking terrible. Claire you know if there is anything anyone of us can do we will do it for you. Thanks for telling us what happened. Mrsa/staph infections are a sob, swim just started banging again and might give it some thought as to whether or not to continue.


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## cj

Claire you have my deepest sympathy. That was absolutely heartbreaking to read. I almost wish it would have been an OD or skydiving accident. I just cant picture him wasting away in a hospital bed.  I have been a Bler a long time and this is by far the most painful loss. Ill be thinking about you Claire. I really will


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## phr

Droppersneck said:


> Man this is so fucking terrible. Claire you know if there is anything anyone of us can do we will do it for you. Thanks for telling us what happened. Mrsa/staph infections are a sob, swim just started banging again and might give it some thought as to whether or not to continue.


TWO much pressure aT the Start UP?

But yeah, proper HR is important for anyone iv'ing. Thank you for re-iterating that Claire.


----------



## pharmakos

Axl hated Pink Floyd


----------



## Owl Eyed

Laika said:


> That was painful to read Claire.  Sorry for what you're going through right now I couldnt imagine.
> Brave of you to come here and give closure to the people who just needed to know "what happened?" You dont really owe anyone anything right now other than you owe yourself time to grieve and heal tbh



thanks for this and thanks to claire. he was one of the last people i thought this would happen to. granted, he lived a fast life, but his bravado and charisma let me to believe otherwise. my condolences, claire. please know that you can chat me on fb whenever you'd like.


----------



## ChickenScratch

Sup brother clyde!   Hope you're well, man.

Claire that was very kind of you to share that with us.  Keep your chin up, girl.  You'll be in my thoughts.  

Did Axl really not like Pink Floyd?  What a god damn butt chugger.


----------



## claire22

Yeah but guys that isn't even the worst thing. His mother decided it is my fault he died, that I should've taken him to the hospital sooner... Like bitch I fucking tried, axl was not rational when it came to this and I told him several times a day I was very worried about him and that we should go to the doctor. All he'd say is either nothing or 'I'll be fine I think I'm getting better'. So this is extra fucking hard right now. Jim wouldn't have wanted this. If he was here he would never let this happen to me. That's what makes me the saddest.


----------



## ChickenScratch

You know damn well this wasn't your fault, Claire.  Emotions are running high right now and hopefully his mom will come around soon.  The whole thing is just fucked.  I wish I could say something that would make you feel better.  In time, you'll heal, but I know you don't want to hear that bullshit right now.  All I can do is keep you in my thoughts, and you definitely are.


----------



## Droppersneck

Yep Emotions are high, and things will get said that they don't mean. Axl never paid taxes in his life and was far from the type that wanted help from institutions. I could see him not wanting to go to the doctor if he just felt like he had the flu. I wouldn't go to the doctor for literally anything short of it being immediately life threatening. I don't believe in doctors and their forever billing you for things, just when you thought you paid for everything.


----------



## claire22

Yeah but I kept telling him this isn't flu you're not getting better you should be better by now. Had trouble w breathing etc. still didn't go. And yep now the IRS can suck it, heh. I just miss him so fucking much.


----------



## animal_cookie

claire, i am so sorry


----------



## Droppersneck

claire22 said:


> Yeah but I kept telling him this isn't flu you're not getting better you should be better by now. Had trouble w breathing etc. still didn't go. And yep now the IRS can suck it, heh. I just miss him so fucking much.


Lmao I don't doubt obama has some sort of post humous collection policy so keep it on the dl. I only knew him through here and talking shit about sports ball via text message and I miss him a lot i cannot imagine things for you. What is important is hind sight is 20/20 and concentrating on the coulda shouldas is good for no one involved. 
It truly makes me smile and laugh when I think of him beating the IRS those fuckers


----------



## Blue_Phlame

This thread makes my heart hurt 

RIP Jim


----------



## phr

claire22 said:


> Yeah but guys that isn't even the worst thing. His mother decided it is my fault he died, that I should've taken him to the hospital sooner... Like bitch I fucking tried, axl was not rational when it came to this and I told him several times a day I was very worried about him and that we should go to the doctor. All he'd say is either nothing or 'I'll be fine I think I'm getting better'. So this is extra fucking hard right now. Jim wouldn't have wanted this. If he was here he would never let this happen to me. That's what makes me the saddest.


You can't blame yourself. You had nothing but the best intentions.
I remember a year or maybe a couple ago both of you guys were on TC and he'd always say you'd kill him if he iv'ed his dope.

*have a little tact phr pls*


----------



## claire22

Droppersneck said:


> Lmao I don't doubt obama has some sort of post humous collection policy so keep it on the dl.
> 
> It truly makes me smile and laugh when I think of him beating the IRS those fuckers



Me too  and yeah I'm sure that fucker does. 

I'm in so much pain right now but that made me smile a bit, I'm sure he's happy about that at least. 

The funeral is Tuesday. It's going to be the second worst day of my life after the day he left me. After the doctors told me there was no hope for his survival I just hugged him for hours and cried and pleaded please don't leave me. I wish I could go back in time. More than anything. I am finding it hard to see a reason to go on right now. I just wanna be with Jim. I haven't wanted to be in this world any more a long time. And he was the reason I did. And now he's gone. And I have nothing. I don't want to be here any more. What is the fucking point. The one person who loved me unconditionally besides maybe my parents is gone forever

And yes phrozen I did, but have you ever tried policing someone all day every day? Worried every time they go to the bathroom? Searched all their shit all the time? Fought non stop about it? It's exhausting. You try policing Jim then come tell me what's up. I stupidly said he could IF he did it fucking safely and then he didn't listen to me on that either. I pretty much hate myself right now. Trust me.


----------



## DrinksWithEvil

watching the steelers game. thinking of him

also to anyone who is still currently IVing heroin....there I no possible good outcome to it. you will die eventually...the proof is all around us. people are dropping like flies. its sad. v I'm not saying it cuz I'm 6 months sober, I'm saying because I care. axls death is such a waste of awesome human being and for what? heroin? he was so much better than drugs..its sad he couldn't get help


----------



## phr

Speaking from having been in his shoes, it's not your fault at all.

You should call up your rents or somebody you can talk to. This Internet stuff has its limitations- this being one of them.


----------



## subotai

Yeah there's not much arguing against the possible repurcussions of IV drug use. 

And Claire, his family is understandably in a great deal of emotional pain right now as well and whether or not they blame you for the events that transpired, as long as you know in your heart that you did what you could to keep anything tragic from happening is all that matters.


----------



## Noodle

This still doesn't seem real.

Good Journey Sir.


----------



## ChickenScratch

Nice win, Steelers.


----------



## Whosajiggawaaa

phr said:


> Speaking from having been in his shoes, it's not your fault at all.
> 
> You should call up your rents or somebody you can talk to. This Internet stuff has its limitations- this being one of them.



yeah you need real people irl for support.

internet just isn't a substitute for face to face interactions with people that care about you.


----------



## claire22

I have people. It's fine. And I'll be home soon. My father is coming over to bring me back. I just can't do it alone. I need my daddy  it's like I'm 5 again honestly.


----------



## claire22

And I'd just got him to the methadone clinic but the dose was going up real slow and he just needed a few more months :'( why now. That shit was really helping him more than anything he'd ever tried.


----------



## Whosajiggawaaa

I couldn't have done this without methadone. 

methadone and rehab saved my life. subs have never worked with me.

who are you staying with now claire , do you have people to call when you feel like you can't take it anymore ? i hope you do.


----------



## New

Claire, my sincerest condolences to you.

Seeing you post about the circumstances of his death just killed a part of me inside. I can't imagine what his death has done to you.


----------



## claire22

I'm still in Jim and i's apartment  yeah I have a few ppl. But my family is the whole world away.


----------



## cj

I have found in drug deathe that the deceased family always looks for a scape goat other then the dead family member. Unfortunately it seems they picked you. Don't get involoved in there drama. You know what really went down and I think you did all you could from what you gave posted. I didnt know Jim beyond the board and some pm's but he seemed like the type who would have wanted you to move on with your life without him. It's going to take time and be very painful but you will do it.


----------



## Droppersneck

Clear whatever happens, if you go back to Australia don't forget about freedom and liberty. It's going to be hard for you to reintegrate into your former repressive liberal society. Just remember all that you have learned and that you have people here rooting for you. Fuck mrsa my dad is a infectious disease doc and he is always ranting about this shit bc it is rampant in hospital environments and kills people like a sob. I'm glad your dad is gonna make it out to support you.


----------



## claire22

Droppersneck said:


> Clear whatever happens, if you go back to Australia don't forget about freedom and liberty. It's going to be hard for you to reintegrate into your former repressive liberal society. Just remember all that you have learned and that you have people here rooting for you. Fuck mrsa my dad is a infectious disease doc and he is always ranting about this shit bc it is rampant in hospital environments and kills people like a sob. I'm glad your dad is gonna make it out to support you.


Lmao! This is actually true. I'll be the only trump supporter for a million miles. And yes fk mrsa that shit is legit evil. It's not normal at all.


----------



## zephyr

Axl was a good man. He deserves to have his memory respected and cherished.  Claire is one of us. She deserves support and love especially now.

No one here is perfect and Axl had his own demons.

Rest in peace. Jim.  This thread will be moved to the Shrine soon.


----------



## Captain.Heroin

rip


----------



## ninjadanslarbretabar

maybe not the best picture of claire, but,
i member 






i thought about him lately
membering a argument
the stooges vs velvet underground
fun house is a masterpiece (sorry raw power)

on a related note he preferred paul to john,
n im pretty sure he preferred claire to heaven 

moments

its hard to think about claire
dying is fine, its what we do
suffering, tho, its such a different game

i dont have concluding words
about jim
somehow im more speechless about what claire must be going thru atm


----------



## SKL

Well, fuck. How many time can one say, this is far too many, or try to connect it to anything else; this, truly, isn't the place for any of that anyway, if it even matters. So, to start again—

Well, fuck.

R.I.P. 

Truly a legend of Bluelight; and now, joining too many of them in the Shrine. This is not one that I saw coming; for all the carefree talk of drugs ... everyone talks, more or less carefreely, of drugs here at least in unguarded moments. He was living the life, too, in a way (Guido paints the picture better than I; even I'd want to be like him, too, this image; but was living that other life, too; this darker side of of the scene and our community … what more is there to say of this than this; and what more to be said of this man, what hasn't been said already? We've seen death take a lot of us, even this year, 2016 of cursed Bluelight memory, really, and it seems each time we say to ourselves, oh no, not *─────*, Bluelight will never be the same … and each time it is, and it won't, because Bluelight is made up all of people like us—that's what make things like this so heart-wrenching, infuriating, and gives us all this feeling of powerlessness, and thoughts even like"why not me? _I_ might have left the world so, so easily [how many abscesses have I drained and let lie?], and left fewer in mourning; God knows I've done all that, and worse, why?" We can only be reminded that who we are and what we chose to be, or don't, is what it is, even Rock Stars. Which Jim was. A real one. You don't get to know one of those everyday, even through the Internet and the phone alone.



-Guido- said:


> He was the James Dean of Bluelight. The ladies wanted him, guys wanted to be him. He was the definition of cool. When he had the good job he enjoyed working, a young lady that loved him no matter what, his own place, living life the way he wanted and keeping it together, being happy and not living in the past, just looking to the future and aiming towards the sky I wanted to be like him.
> 
> He was living the "Bluelight dream" in a way.
> 
> This really has me twisted. I just want to numb it. But I won't, I'll deal with it like a man because Axl would call me a sad cunt if I did.





claire22 said:


> Jim loved this place so much. A lot o you had a large impact on him.
> 
> He was the silliest most confident most amazing handsome guy I've ever known. Him passing has destroyed me inside.
> 
> I'll let you guys know how this happened ONLY so you guys don't make the same fucking mistake he did.
> 
> As you guys know, Jim loved his dope. And me. And music. But I don't think you guys know that he had some irrational fear of getting medical attention. He used a spot to hit he should have quit using forever ago even when this shit was muscle deep. I pleaded w him told him he'd get an infection end up like his dad etc he never fucking listened.
> 
> Anyway this thing actually closed up but the damage was done. We thought he had the flu for a bit, he got better, went to work, etc. but then he got a cough. He got skinny as fuck and I was so worried. I told him he should see a doctor 10x s day but he kept saying I feel better I'm fine just have to sleep. Turns out he had a mrsa infection in his heart. That spread to his lungs. It was too late. It turned my strong man into a shell. It was the most devastating thing ever having the conversation w a doctor about whether I wanted to continue oxygen tube and revive him if his heart stopped or let him go peacefully. I knew he would've wanted the latter. They told me he wasn't going to get better. His lungs were destroyed. :'(
> 
> Jim wasn't afraid to die. But now I wish he were. He always thought he'd be fine. For years he always did this and let shit get out of control before taking action
> 
> BL don't make this mistake. PLEASE! If it can kill my baby it can kill anyone





zephyr said:


> Axl was a good man. He deserves to have his memory respected and cherished.  Claire is one of us. She deserves support and love especially now.
> 
> No one here is perfect and Axl had his own demons.
> 
> Rest in peace. Jim.  This thread will be moved to the Shrine soon.



This thread will remain here as long as is appropriate given that this was his real home here; and I don't think he'd be the type who'd care for an overly-solemn wake, even online. It will be moved to the shrine when the time is right.

Jim and I had on several moments occasion to speak of spiritual things; I know, perhaps even thought it might be seen paradoxically, despite living this life so many people who wouldn't understand may call dissolute, he was a man of faith, simple, traditional, because it was a gift that was given to him, and he, in the unguarded moment, spoke of these things in an upright and humble manner, as if he "would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner." (If you are not familiar with this parable; it is_ this man_ who inherits the Kingdom of God, not the elaborately and ostentatiously religious one.)

"The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord."

And in Jim's tradition, the liturgy of the passing of the soul, I believe, goes:

_Lord our God Almighty, who willest that all men should be saved and should come to a knowledge of the truth; who desirest not the death of a sinner, but that he should turn again and be saved: We pray thee and beseech thee, deliver thou the soul of thy servant, James, from every bond, free it from every curse. For thou art he who delivereth them that are bound, and guideth aright them that are cast down, O Hope of the hopeless. Wherefore, O Master, command that the soul of thy servant, James, may depart in peace, and may rest in thine everlasting mansions with all thy Saints; through thine Only-begotten Son, with whom thou art blessed, together with thine all-holy, and good, and life-giving Spirit, now, and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen._

R.I.P., Jim, my friend, I know we had our differences; I know I pray for you now, and for Claire in her sorrow and whatever dark nights and uncertainties and troubles may follow, and I hold you in nothing but the highest regard as a brother-in-arms in this life that at once we both picked up, and was by happenstance thrown upon us - you lived it well, and I know nobody here has an ill word to speak of you, and I suspect it be the same in your embodied life as well. We never had the opportunity to meet and were not as close certainly as you are with some, but you meant and mean a great deal to many people, your friends here, elsewhere, those who've heard your music, and the little daily influences that you put into the world almost without thought. You were a unique and courageous soul who exuded friendliness and charisma and strength, and you will be missed here, and I'm sure, in every other community that you touched.


----------



## BlessedAnomaly

I haven't posted here in years, I came here to post a thread if no one else did.

He took me in when I was carrying my clothes around in a trash bag, reading The Brothers Karamazov on his porch, having had to leave the bedbug-infested apartment I had previously been able to crash at. I was welcome absolutely nowhere, including my parents' home (for good reason), and axl's house was the last idea I had. He and his brother and everyone else there were extremely kind to me, letting me stay at their house when they were out of town in exchange for cleaning the place up a bit. I shudder to think what could've(would've) happened if I were forced to take up residence on the streets For Real, I definitely would not be in the spot I am in today. He was one of the kindest, and if you looked beneath the boisterous puppy-like demeanor SMARTEST dudes I ever had the pleasure of knowing. AND a great drummer to boot. His passing is a shock and an immeasurable loss to the world. I am sorry to and for all who knew him. Before his time, unfair. The world is cruel, and "Jim Possible" was not. I 'm sorry Claire, I never got to meet you but i'm sure you are great. He was such a great dude. He always used to hit on his legs, h iding due to his shame and I know how stubborn he could be. This is my second Ohio friend to die this year from dope or dope related things. 


I try to stay away from this site since I've since fixed my life up and this is part of the obsession but I always consider this place a home. Rest in Peace Jim.


----------



## BlessedAnomaly

undead said:


>



this is the couch i slept on for weeks when i was getting off dope and homeless. god damn.  GOD DAMNIT


----------



## anniegram

[video=youtube_share;-EEPvXlTUnU]http://youtu.be/-EEPvXlTUnU[/video]

(_fixed video --SKL_)


----------



## undead

claire22 said:


> Jim loved this place so much. A lot o you had a large impact on him.
> 
> He was the silliest most confident most amazing handsome guy I've ever known. Him passing has destroyed me inside.
> 
> I'll let you guys know how this happened ONLY so you guys don't make the same fucking mistake he did.
> 
> As you guys know, Jim loved his dope. And me. And music. But I don't think you guys know that he had some irrational fear of getting medical attention. He used a spot to hit he should have quit using forever ago even when this shit was muscle deep. I pleaded w him told him he'd get an infection end up like his dad etc he never fucking listened.
> 
> Anyway this thing actually closed up but the damage was done. We thought he had the flu for a bit, he got better, went to work, etc. but then he got a cough. He got skinny as fuck and I was so worried. I told him he should see a doctor 10x s day but he kept saying I feel better I'm fine just have to sleep. Turns out he had a mrsa infection in his heart. That spread to his lungs. It was too late. It turned my strong man into a shell. It was the most devastating thing ever having the conversation w a doctor about whether I wanted to continue oxygen tube and revive him if his heart stopped or let him go peacefully. I knew he would've wanted the latter. They told me he wasn't going to get better. His lungs were destroyed. :'(
> 
> Jim wasn't afraid to die. But now I wish he were. He always thought he'd be fine. For years he always did this and let shit get out of control before taking action
> 
> BL don't make this mistake. PLEASE! If it can kill my baby it can kill anyone



This makes me so sad to read. I don't ever wanna believe he's gone. I know how much Jim loved you because he told me. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm sure you have no shortage of people near you who are there to help, but I'm also available to talk, share memories, give support, whatever you need. I live within an hour of you, so if you, his family, or anybody else needs anything from me, please reach out and I'd be happy to help in any way I can. You can PM me if you need my cell phone number. I genuinely mean it, too. Anything anyone needs, I'm here for you guys. 



BlessedAnomaly said:


> He took me in when I was carrying my clothes around in a trash bag, reading The Brothers Karamazov on his porch, having had to leave the bedbug-infested apartment I had previously been able to crash at. I was welcome absolutely nowhere, including my parents' home (for good reason), and axl's house was the last idea I had. He and his brother and everyone else there were extremely kind to me, letting me stay at their house when they were out of town in exchange for cleaning the place up a bit. I shudder to think what could've(would've) happened if I were forced to take up residence on the streets For Real, I definitely would not be in the spot I am in today. He was one of the kindest, and if you looked beneath the boisterous puppy-like demeanor SMARTEST dudes I ever had the pleasure of knowing. AND a great drummer to boot. His passing is a shock and an immeasurable loss to the world. I am sorry to and for all who knew him. Before his time, unfair. The world is cruel, and "Jim Possible" was not. I 'm sorry Claire, I never got to meet you but i'm sure you are great. He was such a great dude. He always used to hit on his legs, h iding due to his shame and I know how stubborn he could be. This is my second Ohio friend to die this year from dope or dope related things.



This is truly how he was to everyone all the time. That's awesome that he did that for you and awesome of you for sharing that. The first time I ever hung out with him, my car got towed while I was staying overnight. We found out the next morning and he took me to find my car. Found out the place only took cash, which I didn't have, and he gave me the money to get my car out of impound. That kind of generosity was routine from him. He just took care of people. Such a genuine dude.


----------



## CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT

It's fucked up. Reading through this thread finally now I can stand it without crying and I keep expecting to see Axl's avatar. Some smartarse reply to everything that's been said.  Some reassurances to Claire. 

It's hard when this shit happens and rocks our little community. I hate hearing about it, I know we all do because it was something that could have been avoided. What a beautiful waste, Jim. I hope you're jamming on a crazy kit wherever you are with reckless abandon and no thought for the neighbours. 

I miss you. 

Claire: I have no words. I just know you'll get through this. You have to. Jim would want you to keep on living your best life. We are all rooting for you babe, all thinking of you. I promise things will get easier with time.


----------



## quiet roar

Big hugs, Claire.

Give me a yell if you need anything when you get home.


----------



## pharmakos

i recently went through a MRSA blood infection, that i developed while my immune system was compromised from chemo.  luckily mine got taken care of quickly, that shit was no joke, i can't imagine walking around like that for any amount of time.  what a tough guy.

 axl


----------



## SKL

It is, for now, in *Social (The Lounge)*, and will remain so as long as it is appropriate for it to do so, both in terms of people having decent and valid things to say, and people conducting themselves with a modicum of respect, with, of course, all _due_ respect given to the trickster-type archetype of the decedent. This is the way these things have always been dealt with (particularly with the extra stop in the social forum for people who were regulars there) and will remain so; the only way that's going to change is if simple expectations of decorum aren't met. I don't think this should be news for anyone; and there's not going to be any more discussion of where this thread belongs here; it is where it belongs now, and eventually will make it's way to the Shrine, with all our other departed.


----------



## pofacedhoe

pretty sad to read.

what a shit thing to happen.


----------



## zephyr

I just cant believe he will be back around ever again.


----------



## DamagedLemon

I'm really sad to hear this, been thinking about it for days on end. RIP Jim. 

Claire, all my love to you. I'm glad your Dad's coming for you and that you're going home, can't believe how hard it must be for you to still be living in the shared apartment. I'm really sorry you're going through this, what a shitty thing for anyone to ever go through  Please reach out if you ever need to talk.


----------



## JoeTheStoner

as usual i thought this wasn't really real, scroll down... pages load. i say the same thing most of the time. shared maybe handful of brief interactions, and he was always real, never no bs. 

o man i think i remember pics of him in like superman shirt with an ex that had kitty her name / avatar... and he was smiling. how you will be remembered =) 

lets take care of ourselves RIP jim


----------



## pharmakos

SKL said:


> ^ I appreciate that this is well meant, so no criticism of you is meant; but, in general, all discussion of specific medical/drug abuse/harm reduction/etc. issues, etc. stops *HERE and NOW*; as I think Claire has, much to her credit and to much more than even might have been expected of her, has delivered the message safely and intact—to the point that no more questions really need be asked, or may be asked, within the bounds of decency. This thread is _*not*_ going down that road; unlike some of our other recently departed, cause of death is publicly very clear, and even very inasmuch as it's related to what you might call lifestyle-factors, even, maybe, their mystique or psychological hold, but this isn't what this thread is for; this is a memoriam; going forward, please treat it as such; first and foremost this is a man and his life, not an object-lesson. (Those who I am criticizing, know who I am criticizing.)



was entirely just meant to be a testament to how tough of a guy axl was


----------



## pharmakos

ChickenScratch said:


> Did Axl really not like Pink Floyd?  What a god damn butt chugger.



indeed:



axl blaze said:


> pink floyd fucking sucks.
> 
> led zeppelin all the way.





axl blaze said:


> dude I fucking hate the Grateful Dead too
> 
> but not as much as I hate Pink fucking Floyd! seriously, man!! that band can go fuck themselves synched along to the Wizard of Oz, for all I care!!1





axl blaze said:


> I dunno, man. I just can't seem to stand Pink Floyd - or Syd Barrett really - that is the front-woman of the band, roight m8??
> 
> at least Grateful Dead has a good song or two (that one song about riding on cocaine iirc)
> 
> I even hate Pink Floyd more than the mother fucking EAGLES, man!!





axl blaze said:


> god damn I hate Pink Floyd more than any other band





axl blaze said:


> if Captain is a 13 y/o girl... then god dammit, I am not a pedophile, anymore
> 
> I FUCKING HATE PINK FLOYD BTW









axl blaze said:


> dude, so many Pink Floyd fan boys cry when I wear that shirt
> 
> getting all bleeding heart liberal about it, and crying about it, like Droppersneque or Bardot - makes me fucking gag. why be such a Communistic pussy about someone not like your stupid favorite band, that you totally thought was groundbreaking ever since you were 15 and oh-so-counter-culture?!
> 
> like srsly - if someone says that some band I listen to sucks, or even if my band sucks, I just laugh at wot a jay ass homo jay they are, and troll them some more
> 
> Pink Floyd fucking sucks with their slow-ass music that draaaaags on forever. I wouldn't even listen to that horrible shit when I was trying to listen to music to go to bed to (and obvi PF is made for ppl to put on b4 sleep, as a sort of drug-laced "lullaby," for left-leaning Michael Moores like DN and Bardot
> 
> (btw - the dude in that pic is not me, but my best punk rawk bro whose name is "Murder." funniest dude alive, only local comedian that I have the wont to go see iirc)





axl blaze said:


> Bob Dylan does in fact suck dicks, yet not as much as Pink Floyd.





axl blaze said:


> god damn I FUCKING HATE PINK FLOYD



collected here just because i know he would want me to make sure there's no pink floyd songs in this thread delivered as tribute =p


----------



## undead

Omg... besides that making me laugh... I know Murder (the punk rawk bro he mentioned). It just caught me off guard cause I forgot they knew each other. I think Jim knew like... literally everyone in Ohio.


----------



## Noodle

I met him once, and he had an aura about him that I imagine drew people to him.

He was an old soul.


----------



## plurMONSTER

This is the worst.

The worst.

Jim will always be one of my favorite people. I wish we got more time with him.

Be safe and be smart; if you don't feel right, see a fucking doctor.


----------



## undead

^ Blasphemy!

OTW, that is just adorable. I can vouch, he really was a big deal in Ohio. Like... half my Facebook friends list are people I met through him. The first time I went down to hang out with him, he started telling me stories and I was like "wait a minute, I know those guys." We found out we already had a lot of similar friends (non-BLers), but that's to be expected since he knew literally everyone. :D

I have documentation of the first time we hung out right here. <--- it's a hyperlink, in case you didn't see that. 

EDIT: Nevermind, that wasn't the first time we hung out! It was the second. Cause the first time we hung out, my car got towed. The second time we hung out, Jim's car got towed. LOLOL never a dull moment.


----------



## Jackal

That's shite news.

R.I.P Axl Blaze.

One of the good ones.


----------



## papa

https://youtu.be/a8d6X2Ik-6k

my favorite christmas song...  I dedicate it to you, Jim.  RIP my friend.


----------



## PriestTheyCalledHim

I just read this now as I don't normally post in the social forum, or read the shrine as it's very sad.  Rest in peace.  My condolences to Claire, his friends both here on bluelight and who don't go on here, and his family.


----------



## Klue

I've really had no idea what to post here these few days. I really liked axl and absolutely will never forget him.

All the best to everyone this effects especially those close to him in real life.

RIP mate


----------



## Speed King

RIP Axl, wherever you are.


----------



## Squeaks

Havent been on in forever. but being away doesnt mean I didnt hear about it. Never good news to Hear this. My condolences to everyone affected


----------



## SKL

[font="garamond,georgia,cambria,serif,times new roman"]*(Social → Shrine)*
_
It's with a heavy heart I'm adding another very longstanding and beloved member of our community to the Shrine.
He was an outsize and larger-than-life member of our community; he truly lived the life, and it took it’s course, 
we have another Shrine member. He'll be remembered by all who knew him, even just through this medium._



_This thread will remain open here in memorium and for members of the community to share._

R.I.P.
[/font]​


----------



## cj

He was one of the people that made this place a community instead of just a web forum


----------



## Mr.Hankey

rip


----------



## Fire&Water

ahh shit...hope to run into you
in the next life.


----------



## hoptis

RIP axl and condolences to all his friends here.


----------



## ghostandthedarknes

rip


----------



## swilow

Holy fucking shit. Axl was a permanent fixture here. I only really ever briefly chatted with him about music but knew him to be interesting and admirable. 

Rest easy and my thoughts to the family


----------



## Pill2Chill

Hard to believe this is for real... R.I.P. Jim... Another BL legend has passed away... This has been happening too damn often as of late.


----------



## withlove

this is the saddest thing ive seen in ages. rip axl. </3


----------



## DixiChik

I'm having technical difficulties.  My posts don't submit, for some reason.  I've made several attempts to post my condolences in the past week.  They disappear rather than post.

*Jeez, Jimbo's death is beyond SURREAL.  How can this be?  
*
I didn't truly know him, but he helped me whenever I asked.  He was quick to respond to questions as I trialed MMJ.  He was kind to me when a mutual friend disappeared for days.  He found him for me and let me know he was still alive.  I will be forever grateful for that gesture of humanity.  He was a good soul.  

He was quick-witted, funny, with quite the swagger. *I LIKED THAT*.  

We buried my 24 year old great nephew on Wednesday of this week.  His father found his lifeless body thrown from his truck.  A week earlier I attended the funeral of an old and dear friend who died much too soon.  He suffered with ALS.  I have a brotha from another motha who is losing his long battle with prostate cancer.

Death seems to be looming.  Somehow Jimbo's death has hit so hard.  If there's a rock 'n roll heaven...

*HEARTFELT SYMPATHY *to Claire, along with his extended family and friends.  He's gone too soon.  He will be missed.  I can't stop weeping.  The irony of it all.  Axl reassured me when I feared my friend's death.  I was so relieved.  Six weeks later, Axl is _gone.  

_*(((HUGS)))*


----------



## Speed King

Pill2Chill said:


> Hard to believe this is for real... R.I.P. Jim... Another BL legend has passed away... This has been happening too damn often as of late.



Damn straight. I hope some of us learn from this absolutely avoidable death. 

I PM'ed with him once .'Axl lived 2 hours away from me. I always wanted to meet him.

The James Dean title fits him perfectly. Guy was super cool. I'd like to think he is in a much better place now, but what a fucking waste.

I'm happy that Im numb enough to handle this before Christmas .

I hope whomever reads these posts, learns something about how this  went down and get some hard core harm reduction lesions out of this.


----------



## Max Power

tathra said:


> why the hell does everybody keep dying?  first this year MzFluffy turned up dead, then Jamshyd, and now Axl.  who's putting out hits on oldschool bluelighters?



Holy hell, Jamshyd, too?

Horrible. 

Those two shone bright against a backdrop of average trolls & wannabe posers.

RIP to two of the greatest.


----------



## thujone

my condolences to claire and those who knew Axl personally, mostly i knew him as the sort of person who didn't like to waste life and respected him for that.


----------



## junglejuice

I've sat at this open reply window a few times now, and just haven't had the right words. I never will.

Jim made this world a better place by the mere act of being himself. The fact that he was super cool never fully registered with him, and that's what was so great about his personality. If you said he had a "big head", you'd only be referring to his crainial circumference. This is just still so surreal to me. I haven't seen him in person in a couple of years and I'm having trouble processing it. He was someone I'd consider a really good friend, and I'll never get to see that friend again. 

Claire...my heart goes out to you


----------



## His Name Is Frank

Damn. I cannot BELIEVE that Axl is gone. He was such a huge part of this site and a great man, to boot. I love you, Axl, and I'll see you on the other side, my friend.


----------



## CosmicG

Thinking about you on the daily brother. Whenever I'm stressing I think, what would Jim say or do and it makes me lol every time. The texts I have saved on my phone still make me geek bruv. I'm pulling for the Steelers to win the Super Bowl this year...never thought I would say that, but after my bungle flop, what do I have to lose? It's going to take a while to sink in. Hell, maybe it never will. You being gone, not the Bengals fail, which I have grown accustomed to over the last 26 years 

I was eating Cane's last night thinking about our long winded arguments over who had the best fast food fried chicken (Popeyes nigga). Missing you man. It isn't getting any easier, and I can only imagine how it must feel for those closest to you. I don't come in here often, but I will from time to time if only to give you shit and tell you how aussome you were. 

Nawmsaiyan?


----------



## SKL

I'm cheering the Steelers too in his memory. Was wilding out when they beat the Ravens on Christmas (great game) and just thinking how he'd be excited and talking/posting all about it and will be watching them pulling for him too. Brings a bit of a tear too...game actually was kind of emotional thinking about this.

I hope Claire is doing OK considering. I don't think we publicly heard from her recently and never knew her that well though I sent her a little something hopefully for as much help a it could've been


----------



## cj

The more time goes on the less sense this makes. I already miss his presence on the board. I am going to be pulling for a Steelers super bowl this year for sure.


----------



## SKL

definitely gonna get two shots of the best bourbon in the house when I go to the bar to watch the steelers this weekend. one's getting poured out, the other one I'm taking in memory.


----------



## cj

Lets go Steelers!


----------



## CosmicG

cj said:


> Lets go Steelers!



NEVER thought I would be saying this but...qfmft 






Win Juan more championship for my nigga Axl Bleezy


----------



## China Rider

no...what? fuck i'm not even reading this thread

hope everyone is doing okay

this is fucked, i don't even think i can hate Ohio St anymore


----------



## cj

Not even the powe're of axls spirit could stop Brady.

Man I've been around this site over 10 years and I have to say his death has affected me the most. We weren't best friends I ain't even gonna pretend but I enjoyed his posts more than anything. The couple PM'S he wrote me saying nice things about me I wish I would have saved but whatever that's life. 

I know his irl people miss him in ways I can't even comprehend but I miss him too.


----------



## AmorRoark

It's hard to believe I never posted in this thread. I selfishly avoided this thread so I didn't have to think about it. Obviously, that doesn't work. I only hung out with him in person once but we had a great music connection for many years on this site. I wish I got to meet you more than that one time. My heart goes out to those who loved him.


----------



## chinky

Man this just ruined my day, I haven't been around in a while and just seen this...

He was one of the best to post on here, period. I'm just saddened we never met up when he came to chicago a couple years back before I moved to the south..


----------



## SirTophamHat

i may not have been a regular of TL

i may not have had direct communications with axl

but goddamn if i haven't recognized his worth over the years and goddamn if this isn't heart breaking

FUCK.

Rest in Peace, fellow...


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Every time I go on bluelight hiatus, I come back to find horrible fucking news. 
One of my top 3 favorite blue lighters. 
? RIP Axl. ?


----------



## The Liberal Media

Damn....
I was actually thinking about him the other week when the Superbowl was on as he used  to mention that he knew how Matt Ryan really got his Matty Ice nickname 
So sad to hear about this 

RIP Axl


----------



## JosephTHeSequel

damn.... leave bluelight for awhile, come back, and old friends are dead. weird.


----------



## MemphisX3

I didn't know axle personally but we had the same wit and humor about us. He always made for good OD Social, NASADDADASSSSSSA Social and tiny chat fun.

With his personality I am sure he is missed by many

My condolences to all affectex


----------



## syymphonatic

God Jim I miss you so much. I would do anything to be able to see you again... It had been too long. Everything that's unfolded has been a nightmare. Miss you always my man from another ham. &#55357;&#56468;&#55357;&#56468;


----------



## claire22

This is the last thread I ever would've thought would be created. It still feels like it's a nightmare. My life means nothing without the one person I truly adored and I am angry he is gone. I wish it was me instead. He was special beyond words. Half of me inside is dead


----------



## cj

I'm so sorry. Hugs


----------



## L2R

i will forever regret not meeting jim irl


----------



## Just A Guy

Sad to read this. You were the man, Axl Blaze, and certainly not easily forgotten. God bless.


----------



## zephyrhigh

R.I.P. axl


----------



## BlessedAnomaly

your name came up in my phone, when I was looking for a different jim. not gonna delete it. thinking of you buddy


----------



## Shimmer.Fade

RIP axl


----------



## Erikmen

zephyrhigh said:


> R.I.P. axl



Indeed. R. I. P. Axl!
How do we can ever confirm 'casualties'.


----------



## animal_cookie

i knew him rather well, this is not a hoax and absurd that you would suggest it is.

in general, deaths are confirmed by an obituary or people who knew the person in real life.


----------



## CosmicG

Erikmen said:


> Indeed. R. I. P. Axl!
> How do we can ever confirm 'casualties'.



I'm still alive man

Cosmic Giraffe->CosmicG-->Cozzie Jeraph

RIP Assl

I still have your texts saved on my old phone, and they still make me lmao every time I read them. Watched King James get stomped on by Kevin Durant last night, and it made me think of you. He is a legend but goddamn, my man needs some backup. It's all good bruv, we will see a rematch next year fasho, and at this rate many years to come. I miss you brother. Always in my thoughts.


----------



## zephyr

Hey Jim

Miss you man.

Thank you for being my friend.


----------



## JackiePeyton

Axl had arms that were too bulky for my taste but Claire was quite keen on them iirc. He liked some good punk bands and was never mean to me. A classy guy. This is disappointing. I always debate saying anything on these threads for fear of some shit storm, but I feel like I just wanted to say this was a really good guy and my condolences.


----------



## CosmicG

Wat


----------



## swifty

Fuck I'm not not exactly Mr current affairs and this fairwell is truly belated, but that's how I roll and axl would appreciate my tardiness

I remember your response to one of the first things I said to you

"Man that is some sage like motherfucken advice, Mr swifty"

I was probably just talking Shit about something stupid, but if it struck a chord  with you my fellow custodian of high society drug culture then it's good enough for me 

I often cast my mind back to random DnM chats I've had here, zephyr, axl, zephyr, axl come to think of it they're the only two worthy of mention 

I only found out yesterday, and I already I'm looking out my window as I'm begin my recovery process and think the world just became a darker place. 

But then I think, the world was a better place for having axl grace it with his presence, so axl I'm asking you shine that light on the dark path ahead for me, because I'm recovering and fuck me if im gonna do it so the input you had on my life isn't wasted 

RIP to you my friend till we talk again


----------



## EbowTheLetter

I still miss shooting the shit with you, you FYROMinian sonofagun.


----------



## zephyr

Shes a strong woman and Im pretty sure you would be very proud up there mate.


----------



## Kittycat5

I never did post here because at the time I was really saddened by his death. We had only begun being friendly but besides being undoubtedly cool as shit, you could almost feel the love shining through for Claire and life in general and I was jealous as shit. People like that should not be taken from us. Claire, I do believe I offered my sympathies then but please take them again. RIP Axl.


----------



## zephyr

Hey nice trick with the hat man.


Shes going good m8.

Miss ya


----------



## anniegram

I miss my punk rock child of the 80s friend


----------



## GodandLove

This guy actually died? What the heck? 

I knew him from the Lounge place. I also saw him and his girlfriend on the Tiny chat placey. I forgot his girlfriends name. Wasn't she a member here too or something? 

Anyway, this is eerie.


----------



## pharmakos

hard to believe it's been a year

miss you axl


----------



## zephyr

Rip mate


----------



## LandsUnknown

Miss you axl..... RIP


----------



## Mysterier

I had no idea... I haven't been here in a while. I can't believe it's been a whole year and I had no idea...

I hope you're resting in peace, Jim.


----------



## zephyr

Axl .  Best times with best people.


----------



## quiet roar

Still bothers me that you ain't around.

R.I.P. brotherman.


----------



## zephyr

Fucking miss you a lot. What a huge loss you are yo the world.  What a gift you were to have some connection.

Wish u were here.


----------



## pharmakos

zephyr said:


> Wish u were here.



He hated that song.


----------



## zephyr

^ ugh i just remembered its a pink floyd song.

Axl you were irreplacable.

The last to have our backs.

Love you man.

I wish things had not gone the way they did but shit hapoens hey.

Xx


----------



## cj

pharmakos said:


> He hated that song.



Haha yeah he did. He was always shit talking pink floyd


----------



## zephyr

Thanks for the chat mate.

I should smoke moar weed .


----------



## electric moon

Whhhaaattttt!?!?!??? Oh my God...so sorry to hear about this. I’m surprised to hear that his death was IV related. He talked down to drug users a lot, so I’m a bit confused. Not saying he’s a complete hypocrite or anything, just don’t get it. When I first encountered AXL, I thought he was a typical ego obsessed forum dip shit. Then I got to know him, and realized what a great guy he was. He spent a large amount of his time on this forum and that really says something about the type of person that he was. RIP buddy.


----------



## MikeOekiM

jeff dont wear regular shoes


----------



## Whosajiggawaaa

electric moon said:


> Whhhaaattttt!?!?!??? Oh my God...so sorry to hear about this. I?m surprised to hear that his death was IV related. He talked down to drug users a lot, so I?m a bit confused. Not saying he?s a complete hypocrite or anything, just don?t get it. When I first encountered AXL, I thought he was a typical ego obsessed forum dip shit. Then I got to know him, and realized what a great guy he was. He spent a large amount of his time on this forum and that really says something about the type of person that he was. RIP buddy.



spkin from experience those who talk down to drug users have their own demons.

RIP guy. Kia soul forever.


----------



## MikeOekiM

axl was probably joking tbh


----------



## zephyr

Reminiscing with the gang thought Id make sure you are never forgotten and maybe lessons can be learned somehow to be a better person like you were.

Trying but sometimes just cant laugh things off.

Wish u were here.


----------



## swifty

^  you have me and I would have to give you a harden up you pussy Axl style .  


Rest easy Axl  .


Yes he can't read this and I don't know why I am posting either.


Pink Floyd is a piece of shit so I don't have to give up anything but to support your memory being kept alive I pledge to never listen to pink floyd.


Well this is as depressing as Centrelink and makes the crowd there Hawthorne so fuck me I'm out and I would think you would let it too.


Until we meet again my friend.


----------



## beagleboy

I got to know axl on Christmas night 2015 through tinychat. He was real personable and it seemed like he was doing ok. I didn?t know he was so sick. I had heard something someone wrote jokingly about him needing a saline IV drip but it didn?t register.
I guess I did have some conversations with him before Christmas. I asked to see his bands video on YouTube. I knew he was in a relationship with Claire. He was keen on getting together to hangout in the future. I explained I was poor and my travels plans  weren?t going to take me his way. 

The day this thread started I was a little spun and was hallucinating and shit. I kept crying after hearing the news because it released a lot of emotions and felt good. 
Now I wish I had met him irl.

It?s ironic. I lived within 10 miles of both Mzfluffy and Beurduex. I should been a better bluelighter and hung out with them before their untimely deaths. In the past I?ve been caught up in my own addictions and mental troubles and it kept me from living a normal healthy life. 
I did hang out with bmxxx riding bikes. I wish he would contact me cause I lost his info.


----------



## electric moon

Claire was such a beautiful human being. It takes a real special kind of someone to be with a guy like AXL. A real power couple, these two. I can only imagine the brilliant glow one world be immersed in actually spending time with these two gods among men. RIP buddy.


----------



## CosmicG

MikeOekiM said:


> axl was probably joking tbh



Qft

Axl man wtf happened...

This place sucks without you man. It's just a website though. Your family misses you more than I do. So why does it still feel so bad man?

RIP


----------



## Erich Generic




----------



## zephyr

Yo Jim.  Keeping the pink floyd ban alive.  They really do suck though so its not hard.

Xx


----------



## mtu mwendawazimu

I never got a chance to meet Axl, but just reading this thread makes me sad.

RIP.


----------



## CFC

Aww, I'm sure he's sending the bebe good vibes


----------



## zephyr

JahJahJah said:


> Hey Jim!  Happy birthday, can you believe these fucking low energy cunts keep banning me?  Anyways, I'm just here to say that scuba and I had our baby today and what could be a more fitting day for the lounge's newest, dare I say cutest, baby to born than this day?  Happy birthday my Virgo brethren, keep an eye out for the little one if that's such a thing, much love and respect always.
> 
> Keepin' the wheel turnin'.  Thanks for showing me the way!



Quoted for posterity, welcome to the world bubba and happy birthday axl, you are missed and your presence here  was too naturally good to be replaceable.



Miss u mate.


----------



## Tubbs

JahJahJah said:


> Hey Jim!  Happy birthday, can you believe these fucking low energy cunts keep banning me?  Anyways, I'm just here to say that scuba and I had our baby today and what could be a more fitting day for the lounge's newest, dare I say cutest, baby to born than this day?  Happy birthday my Virgo brethren, keep an eye out for the little one if that's such a thing, much love and respect always.
> 
> Keepin' the wheel turnin'.  Thanks for showing me the way!



Congrats on the kiddo man.  Scuba too.


----------



## herbavore

He's beautiful.


----------



## zephyr

Axl. You have not been forgotten by those who loved you.


----------



## zephyr

Mate keep shining,  we all love you and see u on the flip side


----------



## Felonious Monk

I was just thinking about axl the other day, I was warning a friend how dangerous MRSA is and how her boyfriend needs to take it seriously. Made me stop and think about how something so small can be such an insidious killer.


----------



## BlessedAnomaly

thinking about you dude.


----------



## Dtergent

Poured one out for you today, Jimbo.


----------



## cj

Shit is still a crying shame. Miss you axl


----------



## bingey

just found out...

rip axl


----------



## BA

I had the pleasure of hanging with Jim on 5 or 6 separate occasions over the years and he always struck me as someone who was just on the cusp of turning the tide and making it big. His band was always playing gigs, and you just had the sense better and brighter days were ahead of Jim. I'll have to do some serious digging, but I think the last pictures of him & I were with his (then) girlfriend kittyinthedark (IIRC). I hung with him a couple times at his North campus place, where the decibel level was always 200 as the band rocked out in the living room. I remember a NYE party we had with a handful of other BL'ers in Gahana that was a lot of fun. RIP Jim, the Macedonian James Dean himself.


----------



## ✿Dai₷y✿

Remembering you  Jimbo.

Xx


----------



## dragonix

Whoa RIP a James Dean character sad to see another had to bite the dust


----------



## Sksjdjeisnfkeishz

When i was underage i had an account on here something along the lines of jamesdean420. I was really suicidal at the time and was constantly running away. I was getting in trouble by my parents for doing drugs and was sexually assaulted by two people. Im aware im not this person you all are talking about but i am fine and healthy now. I am clean and have a home of my own. I turned 18 in october.


----------



## BlessedAnomaly

Hey jim. Still trucking here, slipped in the winter but righted the ship pretty quick. Think about your brother sometimes, how you both lost your dad then he, we lost you. I think about reaching out sometimes, but not sure if he wants a reminder...


----------



## n3ophy7e

BlessedAnomaly said:


> Hey jim. Still trucking here, slipped in the winter but righted the ship pretty quick. Think about your brother sometimes, how you both lost your dad then he, we lost you. I think about reaching out sometimes, but not sure if he wants a reminder...


I am sure his brother would appreciate you reaching out to him 

Miss you Jim xx


----------



## junglejuice

Happy birthday, Jim.
Miss you


----------

