# HELP! Destroyed by sex details of wife's affair



## kevmeyer

_My wife and I have been married for 7 years (togetherfor 10). I am 37, she is 32, and our marriage has been amazing up untilrecently. We get into the occasional disagreements like every couple, but forthe most part it has been loving, fulfilling and happy for both of us. Whilenot as frequently as before, we still share an active and healthy sex life aswell. She is truly my goddess: beautiful, smart, funny etc. and I take greatpride in the lifestyle that I provide for us. While I work anywhere from 40-60hours per week, she is a part-time professor at a community college as well asa yoga instructor (her passion)._

_4 months ago I was rocked when I curiouslypeeked through her email. There was an exchange with a male name I didn’trecognize. I opened the thread to find that this man was emailing my wife sextapes of their affair while they shared sexually explicit banter. A rush ofemotions came over me, but fortunately I had hours to compose from the rage andformulate a plan before she got home. I felt as though I was blindsided: Icould not stop watching the two videos and could not fathom that the life I hadworked so hard to build with her could be taken from me. I packed a preparingto confront her and then leave for the night in order to sort things out on myown._

_I dropped the bomb on her and immediately she beganto tear up and sob in front of me admitting to it and profusely apologizing. I gotupset told her I would find another place to stay. Her crying went intohysteria, she was begging & pleading for me to stay. She called non-stopduring the time I stayed at my brother’s leaving messages saying that she lovedme and it was the biggest mistake of her life. After 2 weeks I missed her, so Iwent home to reconcile. I kept asking her how she could do this to me, and eachtime she replied with “I don’t know” or “it just happened.” I found out that hewas a 27 year old professor at the college and began working in my wife’sdepartment months prior. _

_I told her my trust would have to be earnedback, but she had already come up with a plan to earn my trust back including cuttingthe guy and changing jobs, allowing me to track her phone and car, giving meaccess to her email accounts, submitting to an STD test, and going to therapy. Icould feel the deep remorse and her desire to reconcile. Since, she has beengrateful for the opportunity I have given her, held up her end 100%, andgenerally been a very pleasant & loving person to be around. But if only thetrust could fix the damage._

_Even with all this relationship progress, Icannot fight the constant pain and torment that comes from thinking of thedetails of her affair. The memory of the videos is burned into my brain, andfeelings of pain, humiliation, and embarrassment overcome me. This has led tomuch stalled progress as I have harbored much resentment for my wife because ofit._

_Their sex was completely unprotected, and he waswell endowed. She did things with this man of that we as a married couple havenever done like wear different lingerie and enthusiastically perform oral sexon him (it feels like a chore when she does it for me). What really hurts isthat she had anal sex with him and swallowed him semen more than once; thosewere two things that I asked her if she was willing to try in our relationship,and she would always detest referring to them as gross or degrading. But wordscannot describe how much she degraded herself in this video. It makes me sickto picture the disgusting things she did like licking his anus or give him oraldirectly following anal. But worst of all, she seemed more enthusiastic about allof it than she ever has about our sex life in 10 years._

_I have asked her why she would do such thingsand how she could do things with him that she refused with me. Her answer isalways “I don’t know.” I am constantly being ripped apart seeking an answer tothis question. Needless to say, my self-esteem is shot. I saw with my own eyesthat this man turned her on more than I have and she had a much stronger desireto please him. This has caused us to have intimacy problems ever since. Sinceher answer is “I don’t know,” it is always running through my mind that it wasbecause my penis was too small, that I’m too weak, or that I was an inadequatelover. _

_These thoughts and feelingsare causing so much emotional turmoil and built up resentment towards my wife.She is putting in such a strong effort, but my feelings don’t seem to go awayor lose intensity. I would like to know if anyone else has dealt with such aproblem. Is it fair to myself or my wife to keep trying to work it out? Anyhelp would be much appreciated as I feel like I am at my wits end._


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## RedLeader

"I don't know" is a weak, pathetic answer. She knows damn well why she did those things with him.  She had nothing to lose with him, so she was able to push the boundaries without hesitation.  With you, she has everything to lose if she degrades herself to the point of losing your respect, and it makes your marriage fall apart.  With him, if things went too far, she'd just end the affair and move on.   People are typically freakier with casual sex than within relationships.  New partners are also more exciting, and when people get caught up in the moment and super turned on by such novel excitement, they'll do anything.  They lose their inhibitions.

You don't have kids with her, correct?  I'd end this marriage and move on.  I don't think you can think this stuff out of your mind.  It's over.  Unless you're able to somehow get off on seeing your wife with another man, this is the kind of thing that will haunt your nightmares until you choose to distance yourself from it.  Meeting someone new down the road will also help you forget about it.  But ya, you'll never be able to look her in the face again. The more you try and forget about it, the more your stubborn mind will press replay.  

The other thing is that the agreement that you came to, which included you having full view of her email, phone, etc whenever you wish, that's not a healthy way to behave as a couple.  I understand why you'd make such changes, why she'd be willing to make them with you, but it's just not the backbone of a good relationship.  

So ya, I'd cut your losses and ask for a divorce.  I couldn't handle something like this.  But if you want to try and think your way through it and save your marriage, then good luck.  You'll need it.


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## Hallucinogens R US

^ I absolutely agree. I get that it's incredibly hard to let it go, but that whole story is a really big deal. I think you would be better off cutting your losses and moving on, that way you can move forward with your successful working life and she can sit there and let the guilt and regret get to her, cuz what she did is no joke brother.. that's my say on it. Either way you gotta be strong and do what's gonna make you happy in the long run


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## apneist

go to survivinginfidelity.com its a great resource of people going through the same pain you are. good luck


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## DCypha

Forgive her. The thoughts you keep going over in you head are excuses to be upset with her. I know its a hard thing to forgive but Its a way to let things go and move on. I also don't think its right that you should monitor her phone and emails they are personal things. show her that you trust her again. Maybe she cheated with this guy because she felt she was unable to do these things with you. Its easier to do it to a stranger than it is to someone you know and love dearly. 

Be spontaneous get her to dress up in the sexy underwear for you. Spice up you relationship. You can't go wrong. Trust me. I bet she will be stoked and never cheat on you again 

I hope I've helped. Maybe not.


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## neoblazing

Sorry to say but I have to agree if you keep seeing these images replay in your head you will never rid yourself of them and I don't believe you can truly forgive her for cheating you sound like the sort of person that wouldn't take a wedding vow lightly so you will never trust her again (if you do it will take longer then the relationship has to be fixed imo). That being said if you do want to make I work couples therapy and  things like date nights will help to try reconnect with her but trust is such a hard thing to earn back if you can't let go of the resentment you are harboring towards her atm, I would suggest stopping sex as hard as it is to say no to one you love sex is an intimate thing that jumping straight back into it will only make it worse.

If she is truly wanting to make it work she will be able to do the same things when you want that she did with this other man as she enjoyed it with him she should be able to enjoy it with you but that's just how I would feel
Best of luck and do what is best for you and your self esteem


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## Burnt Offerings

Sounds like you really gave these videos a good watching...


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## llama112

That is something I don't think I could forgive.  Wow.  I don't think you'll ever be able to fully trust her again.

You seem like a good guy.  Yeah, it can be hard to get back into dating again but it's not impossible.  You can definitely do it!


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## BlueSaffron

So you want her to swallow your cum and do anal, but when she does these things with another man she's "degrading herself"?

If a guy I was with thought that way about doing those acts, I'd go do them with someone else too.

Maybe she did them with him because he made her feel desired, and not like she was dirty or wrong for doing them.  While you may have never said to her "anal is dirty", your attitude about it shows through when you comment on her doing it with someone else.  I don't expect you to LIKE what she did, but you go further than being angry that she cheated, you're disgusted with her for the kinds of acts YOU WANT HER TO DO WITH YOU.


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## Abject

What in the fuck? He had asked to do anal and for her to swallow and she wouldn't.
Giving him a jimjob and doing ATM is what OP found degrading.

Take your projections somewhere else.


None of us can tell you how you'll react/deal with the aftermath of this OP.
Put yourself before her.


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## tomdpimp

You don't have power in this relationship, you went back, instead of making her come to you.

Tell her that she must prove her love to you and submit to you in the bedroom.  Power is important.  It doesn't have to be about getting anal sex, its about control.  She owes you.  

Submission and domination may help rebuild your relationship.


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## Roachsucker

First things first - I assume you dont have kids since there is no mention of children in your post. If you in fact do have children then, imo, that would tip the balance towards toughing it out no matter what...

Now to the point of you two.

You are both well educated and intelligent persons, two reasons for which it should be easy for her to understand that "I dont know why" and "it just happened" does not cut it.

If you are both serious about getting your marriage back on track then you will both have to start being honest about what has happened.  She MUST give you a reason, no matter how uunpleasant or difficult it may be to discuss this topic. She must do this for the both you, for the following reasons:

 1. Sobbing, calling and generally begging forgiveness is good enough for a high school crush, not for a married couple... even access to an email account reeks of a shortcut to "show you are sorry" rather than trying to find a solution to the underlying problems 

2. as an extension of point 1. - this will help you understand where you are not living up to her expectations, or where you are not satisfying her needs.

I completely disagree with using this episode as leverage to get her to submit to you in bed. Throwing a good fuck in your direction is again a short term patch instead of the long term mending your marriage needs. In fact I think it would do more harm than good - ever see the southpark episode where satan is going out with a camp guy but is attracted to the dirty sex he gets with his former lover saddam hussein?

Bottom line: you have found tge strength to go back to her, and she seems conscious of how much she hurt you. This is the mix you need to clear things up. Miss this chance (or worse yet misuse it) and all this can happen again further down the road.

Good luck man.
Roach


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## pofacedhoe

what makes it shit for me is her doing things with someone else that she refused to with you.

you can talk about trust and tracking cars  but if the sex in the cheating is the same as what you get its much less negatively indictave than if you are being told "i wont do that" and shes at it with someone else up the arse.

hmmmmmm, dunno what to say


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## What 23

BlueSaffron said:


> So you want her to swallow your cum and do anal, but when she does these things with another man she's "degrading herself"?
> 
> If a guy I was with thought that way about doing those acts, I'd go do them with someone else too.
> 
> Maybe she did them with him because he made her feel desired, and not like she was dirty or wrong for doing them.  While you may have never said to her "anal is dirty", your attitude about it shows through when you comment on her doing it with someone else.  I don't expect you to LIKE what she did, but you go further than being angry that she cheated, you're disgusted with her for the kinds of acts YOU WANT HER TO DO WITH YOU.



Totally need to pay more attention when reading dude.

She is the one who said it was degrading.

OP- I can feel what others have said. I don't think "cutting your losses" at this point and moving on will help you, really. I can see that backfiring and making things feel worse, considering still the intensity of the bad hadn't died down.

I kind of second the taking control that another poster suggested. Making her submit. There is definitely something you need to get out of your system/some demon that needs exercising. 

I don't know. Maybe some day something might click, and you won't be attached anymore. Right now I know its all hard to accept. And it seems she can't accept just what she did, either.

Different views. 

I wouldn't take it as you are inadequate. People are dynamically fucked up creatures. Not meant to be insulting to her... But we are animals. Having compassion for her might help.

And maybe, maybe she holds you to a higher standard than she did this other guy. Maybe that she said in your presence that she felt degraded by it... And that's in her head. In light of your kind of relationship, how she feels about it, might be complex. She may have been using this guy. It was a chance for her to get out of some framework. Where you are sacred, he is not (to her, like that- like you are, in marriage).

There are girls who I can't see having sex with vaginally... Or, I would on a level prefer not to (though, in life I do). For awhile, I could only get into imagining one girl, when masturbating. And the only way, was vaginal (not that other things I wouldn't do or don't want to, but that's the target). Even still she is who I really want. But, when I watch porn, I don't want most of- sometimes any of them vaginally. Or others, sometimes. Anal appeals more(though I admit porn does not much for me in full and its hard to get into after her). I'm not sure exactly what was going on, except that i could only accept her being pregnant by me- not others (not other girls, by me). All I'm trying to illustrate is that it may have nothing to do with you being "inadequate". 

I would say she loves you. Don't throw it away, at least.


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## severely etarded

What 23 said:


> Totally need to pay more attention when reading dude.
> 
> She is the one who said it was degrading.
> 
> OP- I can feel what others have said. I don't think "cutting your losses" at this point and moving on will help you, really. I can see that backfiring and making things feel worse, considering still the intensity of the bad hadn't died down.
> 
> I kind of second the taking control that another poster suggested. Making her submit. There is definitely something you need to get out of your system/some demon that needs exercising.
> 
> I don't know. Maybe some day something might click, and you won't be attached anymore. Right now I know its all hard to accept. And it seems she can't accept just what she did, either.
> 
> Different views.
> 
> I wouldn't take it as you are inadequate. People are dynamically fucked up creatures. Not meant to be insulting to her... But we are animals. Having compassion for her might help.
> 
> And maybe, maybe she holds you to a higher standard than she did this other guy. Maybe that she said in your presence that she felt degraded by it... And that's in her head. In light of your kind of relationship, how she feels about it, might be complex. She may have been using this guy. It was a chance for her to get out of some framework. Where you are sacred, he is not (to her, like that- like you are, in marriage).
> 
> There are girls who I can't see having sex with vaginally... Or, I would on a level prefer not to (though, in life I do). For awhile, I could only get into imagining one girl, when masturbating. And the only way, was vaginal (not that other things I wouldn't do or don't want to, but that's the target). Even still she is who I really want. But, when I watch porn, I don't want most of- sometimes any of them vaginally. Or others, sometimes. Anal appeals more(though I admit porn does not much for me in full and its hard to get into after her). I'm not sure exactly what was going on, except that i could only accept her being pregnant by me- not others (not other girls, by me). All I'm trying to illustrate is that it may have nothing to do with you being "inadequate".
> 
> I would say she loves you. Don't throw it away, at least.



I disagree. I think this woman is a whore and the fact she didn't have the guy use condoms and swallowed his jizz, gave the other guy better head shows a great deal more intimacy. The fact he was sending videos to her should raise major red flags. So she wants to let u track her car? Then the other guy will be banging your wife in YOUR house!!


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## malakaix

She knows why she did it.. this whole 'i don't know' crap is immature. Maybe she wanted to be dominated, either way i would grill her until you get a real answer..

I personally couldn't forgive this.. it's not compassion, its weakness.. and she will take advantage of that again.


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## adder

I don't usually post in these forums as I'm really no role model in relationship matters. But after reading your post, kevmeyer, I just felt I had to reply.

I fully agree that what your wife is now doing is simply manipulating you. I would never forgive a girl if she had sex with another guy. When I'm not in a relationship, I can somehow treat sex quite loosely. I've always needed a lot of closeness and it's not really easy to find the one and only girl, so honestly while not being in a relationship I can have sex with a friend as long as she's completely fine that we're not a couple and we're just satisfying our needs. When I'm in a relationship and my girlfriend accepts me as her partner knowing what person I am, then it's unacceptable for me if she's intimate in any way with another guy. I once broke up with my ex-girlfriend, because she let another guy keep her in his arms. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't two friends hugging, it was much too much.

I feel really sorry for you. I have never been cheated in the way your wife cheated on you, but I think any kind of cheating is emotionally equal if you feel deeply hurt. If I were you, I would get a divorce, move on with my life, give myself as much time as needed to heal, and then start looking for a woman that could be 100% open with me no matter what. Certainly it may take time, but I can't imagine my future with a woman who gets embarrassed to do something with me and feeling completely fine with doing that with someone else. I can understand a lot and I mean it. I'm an INFP and I had extreme social anxiety issues in the past that had a lot to do with girls, so I easily empathise with other people having problems with being close etc. I definitely wouldn't force a girl do something that she doesn't want to do, but if I am in a relationship, then I expect my partner to treat me as the right person to be told about ANY problem, and I expect my partner to take seriously any problem that I tell her about. When I'm in love with someone, then I'd honestly kill for that person.

I'm sure that if you hadn't found out, she would still be cheating on you. I honestly don't think that you'll ever manage to feel comfortable with what she's done, so you'll never truly be happy with her.


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## little BIG Pecker

I think you need to find a way to make her prove her loyalty and forgiveness to you.. Maybe temporary separation & time apart is the key, but I'm not sure, and you should be the one to make call depending on how you feel.

If I really loved her, I would be willing to give her a second chance. I think it was really fucked-up for that professor to pursue someone's wife like that and especially in a sober state of mind. Maybe she is truly regretful and seeks forgiveness. You're the judge here.

I wish you the best man!


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## severely etarded

If she's swallowing the guy's jizz, videotaping herself getting pounded in the ass wothout a condom by the guy, trust me she's not gonna stop cheating. I would cut ties before she brings u an STD. It's one thing to cheat but to do so without condoms is much worse. It shows an even deeper disregard for you.

Trust me the fact you're going to jealously track her is going to provoke more sneaking around. People get a rush sneaking around, particularly women. The only way she's going to stop is if u murder someone,  which isn't close to worth it. Let her go man. Plenty of other women out there.


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## LilbabiC

If she can't give you an answer as to why she did all of these sexual things with another man then your relationship is lacking HONESTY & COMMUNICATION.  Did you ever seek therapy?  If not I suggest that you do. A trained therapist can help her learn to communicate properly and can teach you coping skills so that you can possibly make peace with the situation.


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## pokepoke420

I don't know if you will be able to get over something of that nature man. That is just... Too much.. And for her to offer no real explanation won't give you any type of closure you need. Give it a shot, it's tough to give up a 10 year commitment to someone you know inside and out whom you love. If you see that the thoughts are overwhelming and that is what the relationship becomes, you need to end it. That is so awful. I'm so sorry. Take some time off work, and you two should go on a vacation together. Re-discover the qualities you love in one another. She got with you when she was 22, I UNDERSTAND her curiosity, but it doesn't give her the right to do that.


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## T. Calderone

This is different than merely discovering your wife was having an affair. Watching that video over and over again ensured this will be burned into your memory forever. Things like that can't be un-seen. People can suggest dominating your wife and making her submit but that's not going to solve anything. Even if you resume sexual activity, you will always be wondering if she's thinking about this other man.

She would still be carrying on with him if you had not caught her so of course she's remorseful. Tracking her phone, car and email isn't going to help because these things are not hard to get around. While couples therapy might be helpful, you two can talk until you're blue in the face but sexual compatibility can't be forced. You are probably better off letting her go.


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## pofacedhoe

severely etarded said:


> I disagree. I think this woman is a whore and the fact she didn't have the guy use condoms and swallowed his jizz, gave the other guy better head shows a great deal more intimacy. The fact he was sending videos to her should raise major red flags. So she wants to let u track her car? Then the other guy will be banging your wife in YOUR house!!



i wouldn't call her a whore because by definition thats not even the case and its unnecessary sexist loaded angry language, BUT man or woman if someone wont do sex acts with you but will with the person they are cheating on you with it means they dont find you as attractive.

that is a big problem and for me i would find it hard to get past as it will shit on your self esteem for years to come if you let it

you need to find someone who is genuinely attracted to you and who wont fuck around behind your back


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## livingbeing1989

I noticed that OP hasn't posted back to this thread for about 4 days now, hope everything is okay. 

Firstly, that marriage is OVER, there are no other ways to put it. You have lost all trust in her and you will most likely never gain it back ever again. That feeling of "is she telling the truth about where she has been" will always and I mean _always _cross your mind. That hurts, a lot, and the best thing you can do it to take your mind off of it and distract yourself. I know it is easier said than done but you have to try.

You need to ask yourself; are you simply going back to her because you are complacent? Because you don't think you can do better? Is it because of financial reasons? Go from there and see if you can answer those questions.


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## gr33n3y3z

What the fuck.....

Damn why even consider this bitch to be a part of your life? Screw that, that is absolutely unfaithful and degrading to you. 
I'm sorry you had to come across this, but at least you know the hoe she truly is. 
Leave her. Don't look back fuck her.


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## dieseldog1

I'm pretty sure I would not be able to get over my wife sucking another guys ass, as well as butt fucking. Guys have a much harder time accepting things like that than women do,I would think. Good luck, too many other woman out there, and life's too short man........


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## Masshole

moveon.org


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## Maya

pofacedhoe said:


> i wouldn't call her a whore because by definition thats not even the case and its unnecessary sexist loaded angry language, BUT man or woman if someone wont do sex acts with you but will with the person they are cheating on you with it means they dont find you as attractive.
> 
> that is a big problem and for me i would find it hard to get past as it will shit on your self esteem for years to come if you let it
> 
> you need to find someone who is genuinely attracted to you and who wont fuck around behind your back



Great post by pofacedhoe. I am sorry to say OP but it seems like your wife is not as attracted to you but I still do not agree with what she has done of course. You have to move on OP and start to build your self-confidence and seek therapy as well if need be, as I am sure it has shattered your emotions.


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## unknownSKY

I would say wellp looks like i get to fuck someone too. then you can do all of that shit and well talk before you go to the curb....


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## MyDoorsAreOpen

I have a feeling the OP is somebody's alternate account made for the sake of anonymity just for that one post. I'm fairly sure privacy and saving face was the main reason for doing this, but I don't completely rule out trolling either. Two things about this thread are suspicious to me. First of all, I have a hard time believing any married man could see what he said he saw and have any remaining love for his wife, let alone be willing and able to have sex with her after that. Secondly, if the OP really was as upset and in need of advice as he says, why no replies from him after so many days, despite pages of sincere and well thought out advice, and requests for more information?

I wonder if there's more to this story we haven't heard. Maybe the OP has a dirty little secret of some sort, and is afraid his wife would let it out if he divorced her. It's not hard to ruin the life of anyone who has anything to do with illegal drugs with a couple short phone calls.

OP, if you're being entirely sincere and are still listening, then I think your only shot at making this marriage in any way worthwhile for you is to consider an open relationship, which is definitely not something all couples are capable of pulling off.


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## Johnny1

Of course it's a troll. It's classic humiliation fantasy. I can't believe anyone took it seriously. There's a video of her licking his ass that he emailed her? C'mon.


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## tocooperate

Johnny1 said:


> Of course it's a troll. It's classic humiliation fantasy. I can't believe anyone took it seriously. There's a video of her licking his ass that he emailed her? C'mon.



I'm apt to agree. The email and videos is way to careless to be IRL lol, but all the same, I had my ex many years ago admit to what found to be whorish, irresponsible and downright dangerous.. didn't have to see any videos, my mind directed the whole thing with n^35 sequels (in time they made for great mentsl masturbation material) lol


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## Arboreal

Wow, I don't know if this is for real, but things this low do go on all the time.  I hate to make generalizations about women, but at age 32, I've found them to just be...bad.  Is that it...what Red Leader said in an earlier post?  

OP, idk...sometimes we don't have a lot of choices, and maybe this woman does love you.  My exes wouldn't even say they were sorry when they cheated.  They had no regard for my feelings once I outlived my novelty.  Women can be so damn bad.  I know if one of my exes came back, I'd have to take them back, even though they probably never even would, and they were never even sorry for what they did.


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## pofacedhoe

Johnny1 said:


> Of course it's a troll. It's classic humiliation fantasy. I can't believe anyone took it seriously. There's a video of her licking his ass that he emailed her? C'mon.



yeah i know its too ridiculous but y'know we cant automattically assume that even though it does scream troll a bit because some posts are just as weird/weirder and are definitely not trolls


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## Lost Ego

I personally could never trust her again, I could never forgive her...

But you're here telling hundreds of strangers about the incident so i'll assume you would give anything to try to fix it. You're asking this question on a drug website - would you consider low dose mdma-assisted marriage counseling? You need to get an answer to all these I don't knows. On one hand this my be information you would be better off not knowing (probably why she decided not to tell you) but on the other hand it seems it's partly the mystery behind her betrayal you that is driving you nuts. You need to force her to tell you, you're entitled to this information, part of making this work will include her being completely open and you being strong and understanding. 

I probably would never feel better until I kicked the crap out of this guy and punished my wife psychologically (and maybe physically in bed) until she truly were sorry. I'd have to know with absolute certainty that she would never try some bullshit like this again to begin to trust her again. Hell, while we're discussing crazy ideas - what if you had an affair to make things even? Maybe after you've gotten even and she's made up for it can you begin to heal your relationship. 

As for forgetting the images of her and him? Impossible. You could accept them but they may very well never go away. Electroshock therapy perhaps? Don't turn to chronic drug/alcohol use - bad idea. You have to face them head on and somehow be okay with it. Ask yourself what it'd take for her to fix this. Maybe fuck her ass? Turn her on more than he did? Please her more than he did? Degrade her in bed more than he did? Remove this man from the face of the earth? It could be anything. JUst think. Oh and don't forget to communicate how you're feeling with her.

As for why she did it - it probably had something to do with her wanting to feel desired again, wanting attention, and not to mention the fact he was among other things attractive. You can eliminate the first two by bringing the passion back into the bedroom (when you're ready). You need to want her more than he did. If you can do that you will turn her on more than he did.


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## HEELLINGG

Whether it's a troll or not, I've recently had a similar experience... My girlfriend of 8 years cheated on me, and she is very sexually reserved and closed with me... But because I love her, I endure... When I found out that she had cheated, she had done ANY AND EVERYTHING imaginable with him... We're separating now, but for the moment we still live together, and I just can't understand how or why she could do that to me...   Then, she actually said that the guy wasn't sexually satisfying, and that after her escapades, she would find herself wishing to come home and finish with me... SO SICK


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## nygiants1313

I would be done with her. Maybe if it happened and she came home THAT DAY and confessed then maybe just maybe i could see you forgiving. 

But ask yourself this. If you had t found email you would still be in the dark about it. How fucked up is that? She is sad she got caught n thats it. Otherwise she would have handeled this a while ago.

Remember if you did not find email how fucked up this situation would be interacting with her everyday as she kept this hidden. 

Fuck that hsave more self respect. Now she knows she can do whatever she wants and ull always forgive her lol


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## Triturk2112

In a way I'm dealing with a similar thing. Except we are more so apart. And also living far apart for the summer. She still talks to me semi fondly but visits her booty call almost daily. She 100% dispises him and has no actual feelings for him but she still does it. She has done things with him that I've barely done with her in the 5 years we've been dating. And of course it feels like dirt. It feels like she's been tainted right? Well I've realized one thing... Putting a label on your partner as if she is your property is completely wrong. It's entirely sexist. You do not own her like a piece of meat. I feel that your wife is just doing these things with him because she is just exploring her inner fantasies. Fantasies she doesn't want you knowing about. Dont make your wife get a different job, std tests, because at the end of the day she's still coming home to you. You have to go get laid yourself. have a one night stand. then you can forget about those horrible memories in your head. Worked for me. She will know how you feel and you will know how she feels. Doesn't mean you break up. You build on your damaged relationship and realize how much you mean to one another. Rediscovery of love is a very powerful thing.


----------



## temest

Triturk2112 said:


> .....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I feel that your wife is just doing these things with him because she is just exploring her inner fantasies. Fantasies she doesn't want you knowing about. Dont make your wife get a different job, std tests, because at the end of the day she's still coming home to you. You have to go get laid yourself. have a one night stand. then you can forget about those horrible memories in your head. Worked for me. She will know how you feel and you will know how she feels. Doesn't mean you break up. You build on your damaged relationship and realize how much you mean to one another. Rediscovery of love is a very powerful thing.
> 
> 
> 
> As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with you going out and having an affair yourself _without her knowledge_. Now you're exploring not as revenge, but to come up with a better answer than "I don't know". You may find that afterward you find yourself thinking (fantasizing) about other women. Pretty good clue that is exactly what she is doing. Are fantasies bad? No...it's human nature. But if you find yourself wanting to act on those fantasies because it was exciting, well, so does your wife. Then it would be a good time to end your marriage. It's pretty well documented that if a woman was to have an affair she would prefer a dude with a dick down to his ankles. Why? It's all fantasy. Just guessin' if she had a chance to marry that mule dick, she wouldn't.
> If my wife did this, I'd be on the prowl and banging some woman that found me desirable so that I was on even ground with my wife. Now you can envision your wife taking it in the dirthole and you can envision your "friend" swallowing your cum. You're now on even ground with a new perspective that may ultimately help you make a decision. If you don't do this, you're going to be consumed with those videos and your marriage essentially over.
Click to expand...


----------



## FunkoJoe

*You gotta take back your manhood bro*



kevmeyer said:


> _My wife and I have been married for 7 years (togetherfor 10). I am 37, she is 32, and our marriage has been amazing up untilrecently. We get into the occasional disagreements like every couple, but forthe most part it has been loving, fulfilling and happy for both of us. Whilenot as frequently as before, we still share an active and healthy sex life aswell. She is truly my goddess: beautiful, smart, funny etc. and I take greatpride in the lifestyle that I provide for us. While I work anywhere from 40-60hours per week, she is a part-time professor at a community college as well asa yoga instructor (her passion)._
> 
> _4 months ago I was rocked when I curiouslypeeked through her email. There was an exchange with a male name I didn’trecognize. I opened the thread to find that this man was emailing my wife sextapes of their affair while they shared sexually explicit banter. A rush ofemotions came over me, but fortunately I had hours to compose from the rage andformulate a plan before she got home. I felt as though I was blindsided: Icould not stop watching the two videos and could not fathom that the life I hadworked so hard to build with her could be taken from me. I packed a preparingto confront her and then leave for the night in order to sort things out on myown._
> 
> _I dropped the bomb on her and immediately she beganto tear up and sob in front of me admitting to it and profusely apologizing. I gotupset told her I would find another place to stay. Her crying went intohysteria, she was begging & pleading for me to stay. She called non-stopduring the time I stayed at my brother’s leaving messages saying that she lovedme and it was the biggest mistake of her life. After 2 weeks I missed her, so Iwent home to reconcile. I kept asking her how she could do this to me, and eachtime she replied with “I don’t know” or “it just happened.” I found out that hewas a 27 year old professor at the college and began working in my wife’sdepartment months prior. _
> 
> _I told her my trust would have to be earnedback, but she had already come up with a plan to earn my trust back including cuttingthe guy and changing jobs, allowing me to track her phone and car, giving meaccess to her email accounts, submitting to an STD test, and going to therapy. Icould feel the deep remorse and her desire to reconcile. Since, she has beengrateful for the opportunity I have given her, held up her end 100%, andgenerally been a very pleasant & loving person to be around. But if only thetrust could fix the damage._
> 
> _Even with all this relationship progress, Icannot fight the constant pain and torment that comes from thinking of thedetails of her affair. The memory of the videos is burned into my brain, andfeelings of pain, humiliation, and embarrassment overcome me. This has led tomuch stalled progress as I have harbored much resentment for my wife because ofit._
> 
> _Their sex was completely unprotected, and he waswell endowed. She did things with this man of that we as a married couple havenever done like wear different lingerie and enthusiastically perform oral sexon him (it feels like a chore when she does it for me). What really hurts isthat she had anal sex with him and swallowed him semen more than once; thosewere two things that I asked her if she was willing to try in our relationship,and she would always detest referring to them as gross or degrading. But wordscannot describe how much she degraded herself in this video. It makes me sickto picture the disgusting things she did like licking his anus or give him oraldirectly following anal. But worst of all, she seemed more enthusiastic about allof it than she ever has about our sex life in 10 years._
> _ [/I
> You gotta get a younger hotter female and purposely fuck her so good your wife feels like trash you have to degrade her and talk about other women and how much the other females asshole was so amazing deprive her treat her like total dog shit sndvif you can FUCK her mom sister or best friend DO IT AND DO IT WELL or hire a prostitute and have her play the game with you force her to work full time leave on weekend business trips allow her to catch you cheating or wear the horns of a cuckold and have limp dick until you leave her or accept that's she's a filthy whore who only deserves anal_


----------



## stovepipe

Dude, walk away before you have a heart attack.   I was in a similar situation and can tell you first hand you will never be 100% able to trust her again.  You will have constant worries, having to check her email and phone is only going to cause you more unwanted stress.   Of course there is a very slim chance she wont cheat again, I mean slim.  My view is once someone cheats on me, I can no longer be in a relationship with them ever again or trust them.  I will forgive them, but no way could I ever be able to look at them again with respect.   You can do better thats for sure.   Good luck


----------



## Johngass

What position were they in we she licked his Ass? Did he cum on her face? Also can I see the vids?


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

I'm sorry, I know this thread is old (i'm not the one who bumped it) but I feel the need to comment on this thread. This type of thread pisses me off to no end. 

You talk about this great fulfilled marriage you have, but then you do this:


kevmeyer said:


> 4 months ago I was rocked when I curiouslypeeked through her email.



There was clearly a trust issue if you just happened to decide one day after 10 years to "peek" in her email. 
You went looking for something... and you couldn't deal with what you found. 

Somewhere you started to feel insecure and you looked for a reason to play the "victim". I mean fuck... look at this shit...



kevmeyer said:


> I told her my trust would have to be earned back,
> including cutting the guy and changing jobs,
> allowing me to track her phone and car,
> giving me access to her email accounts



This isn't how you fix a relationship. This is how you gain ridiculous control over a person.
No sane individual would give up their privacy to "prove" their love.

This is ridiculous. Even if she did fuck up and cheat on you.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

And another reason it's completely ridiculous is you said one of the things that hurts the worst is that she had anal sex with him and swallowed his cum more than once. 

Talk about priorities.


----------



## Durzo1258

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> And another reason it's completely ridiculous is you said one of the things that hurts the worst is that she had anal sex with him and swallowed his cum more than once.
> 
> Talk about priorities.


Well unless he plans on not kissing for for the rest of their live together it kind of is relevant.  Ib4 "I'm sure your gf or that girl you had one night stand with did worse things" Probably, but ignorance is bliss. 

Also this place is strong on thread necromancy.


----------



## NiteTrane

BlueSaffron said:


> So you want her to swallow your cum and do anal, but when she does these things with another man she's "degrading herself"?
> 
> If a guy I was with thought that way about doing those acts, I'd go do them with someone else too.
> 
> Maybe she did them with him because he made her feel desired, and not like she was dirty or wrong for doing them.  While you may have never said to her "anal is dirty", your attitude about it shows through when you comment on her doing it with someone else.  I don't expect you to LIKE what she did, but you go further than being angry that she cheated, you're disgusted with her for the kinds of acts YOU WANT HER TO DO WITH YOU.





You must be some kind of special illiterate retard, huh!?

The OP didn't say he thought it degrading fool.. The wife did, she would say that when the OP would mention/ask about her willingness to try.. Here are the OP's exact words, (if you're not illiterate that is), and based on your ignorant comment I'm going to lean toward yes, yes you are "some type of special illiterate retard"..

"_she had anal sex with him and swallowed him semen more than once; those were *two things that I asked her *if she *was willing to try *in our relationship, and* >SHE< would always detest referring to them as gross or degrading.*_"

Then this line of yours pretty much sums it up and explains it all, 

"If a guy I was with thought that way about doing those acts, I'd go do them with someone else too.".. 

That quote there tells me all I need to know about you.. It tells me you are what's wrong with the moral-less world we live in today.. You're one of those people who are always part of the major problems we face in society today.. You're just an average, ordinary, typical run of the mill , women/whores in the world today.. Well well, would you look at that, one whore rushing to the defense of another whore.. Cheating house whores like yourself are abundant and always have an excuse(s)that that they use that makes you think it exonerates and excuses you from the disgusting, low-down dirty shit that cheating whores do.. There's no excuse for being an adulterous slut-whore..

If you want to really get down to it, and go technical, even if the OP were the one who found it degrading it would be irrelevant and would mean nothing, because just the fact that a married individual cheats should be plenty enough degrading without having to commit the specific acts in question here..


----------



## razorsedge

Had a similar bizarre experience in my marriage that took me down the rabbits hole. My beautiful, vivacious, girl-next-door-good-looks wife of 7 years had an affair that lasted several months. I felt something was very off in her behavior and began to suspect her when she suddenly started needing to take out of town trips to see old girlfriends I'd never met, loss of libido, changed her hair style suddenly, began working out, passwording her phone etc. So, after tracking her car mileage to and from her friends house and verifying that she'd traveled far beyond her destination, I placed a keylogger on her laptop and of course caught her cheating. The sexting from the other guy was astonishingly juvenile and stupid in its wording ("I wanna break off my d--k in you my little f*ck princess..."). Hard to believe my intelligent and level headed wife fell for this idiot and his banter (said it made her feel wanted and sexy). Later I discovered emailed sex videos she'd made just for him. Evidently, my wife had started out just sending him nude pics of herself to keep him interested and also because she was very jealous of his wife. She later decided to further up her game by sending actual videos of herself masterbating while "their song" played in the background (cheesy I know). At that point I was about to lose it and stupidly thought that it couldn't get much worse, but I was not even close to seeing the end of this nightmare. So, with all evidence in hand, I decided to finally confront my wife and blow the damn affair completely up. I told her all that I'd discovered. She cried at first, then said she was so so sorry and ashamed, but that I just didn't understand how she felt. I asked her if she was in love with this guy and she said "Yes". She still didn't want to tell me his full name but I eventually was able to get it out of her. I told her that I suspected that this asshole didn't really love her and was just using her as a free prostitute, and that he'd never leave his beautiful wife and kids for her (they had shared family pics too -- all American family, pretty wife, etc.). She said she believed that he truly did love her and that he wanted a life with her. I told her that if he really loved her then please prove it too me by calling him up on speaker phone and point blank ask him if he is in love with her -- I wanted to hear it for myself I told her, and if he stepped up and committed then I'd let her go with the best wishes of luck to her (I felt certain he was not all in). She reluctantly did call him. The bastard was caught totally off guard at work when she called announcing it was an emergency. She told him that I had discovered their affair and she now needed to make some very serious choices and needed know where she stood in his life. She asked if he really loved her and wanted her or not. She was sure he would profess his love for her on the spot and come running to her rescue (she was still very deep in the affair fog). But instead he stumbled over his words, asking her why she needed to know "stuff like that" and why she was putting him on the spot like this. Eventually all he could say to her was that "well...you know I do care about you and stuff a lot but lately I've been thinking that I still love my wife". While this was going on, my stomach was churning, I used every ounce of energy I had to hold back a boiling rage to pick up the phone and let him know I was coming for him, but I didn't because it was more important to let her hear the truth. Besides, the look of utter despair and loss on my wife's face once she realized she'd been played as just a whore for him was enough for me, at least for the moment. She kept saying through tears over and over..."What the hell? But you told me I was the love of your life. I risked everything for you!". He told her he was sorry how things turned out and that at least they had some good times together that'd he'd never forget. He also asked her to please help do damage control and keep me from knowing how to reach his wife since no more people needed to be hurt than already were. After he hung up, I told her that his response didn't surprise me. That she'd meant nothing more than free sex for him. Hell, she even had paid for the hotel rooms on all their meetups because he said he didn't want to leave a money trail that his wife could follow (she bought into his reasoning of course and complied). So, next it was my turn to turn his world upside down. I tracked down his wife's workplace and left a message that she needed to call me regarding her husband. Since he'd turned off his phone to cut my wife off from calling him at work, his wife never could reach him and began to fear he'd been in an accident or something --- so she quickly called me instead to find out what was going on. I let her know all of what had happened in the affair and she was utterly devastated. Once she got control and stopped sobbing, she asked if I had any evidence and if I'd send it to her, which of course I did (hundreds of sext messages, photos, masterbating vids, hotel receipts, times, dates, all of it.). In her fury, she did her own digging before hubby got home and found his password hidden under his monitor stand along with his trove of emails and the videos my wife had sent him, but then...she found something else. Evidently, my wife's lover had begun telling her how great it'd be to have anal sex with her -- since this was something his wife never gave him. So, every time they were together, and at least on 6 or more occasions, she had allowed him to video her having anal sex with him, giving her facials, etc. She was extremely verbal and aroused and excited during the filming. She had a weird expression on her face. Her eyes looked glazed, almost like she was drugged (I know now that it was the fog-mind that adulterers get) It really surprised me because her lover was smaller than average (not what I had imagined or expected), and very over weight (which should have made me feel better..but didn't). She later said she only did it to give him something his wife wouldn't provide and because it was easier since his penis was small (evidently anal made him feel bigger/more dominate and manly according to her). She said she made him promise to erase them later and would have never let him made them otherwise. Well, he of course did not. Apparently he'd archived the videos in some folder in a dropbox account. His wife figured out his password was the same as his email and accessed them. She shared them all with me, along with texts he'd sent a close friend of his which he'd shared the videos with under the caption "My little ass whore". My wife and I were best friends, shared in child rearing, and other responsibilities. She always talked about other people who'd cheated on their spouses as being despicable people. We had a good life together. We communicated with each other a lot, went on dates, and supported one another. We had always had a great sex life until the last 2 years of our marriage when her sex drive seemed to vanish. We were adventurous and creative in bed together, lots of foreplay. I was just as interested in her having an orgasm as myself, in fact even more so. She blamed hormones and the stress of work on her dwindling libido. I believed her and thought it made sense, since many of my friends' wives with kids had similar experiences over time. But as time went on, she never seemed to want to work at a remedy in any significant way. I've never had problems with my own libido and have a strong sex drive, have always been considered attractive, and prior to my wife had other lovers with a relatively healthy sex life. I couldn't figure out where the hell I'd screwed up. Never the type to forget important dates. Took her away for short getaways, talked sexy to her, sent her love notes from time to time. What had I done to cause her to no longer desire me and treat me this way? It was maddening. I thought I knew her, her desires, her feelings. But, after watching those videos I noticed a different person in them. She was completely submissive and talking very dirty during sex. When I had ever tried to initiate anal sex from time to time, she'd often say she just didn't feel comfortable doing it, that it didn't make her feel sexy when I talked dirty to her during sex-- but now she was another man's "little ass whore", willingly giving him anal sex, and talking slutty with a smile on her face (at least in the videos I saw). I pressed her to tell me every thing they had done together, no more secrets. As she spilled the beans and answered my endless questions remarkably with brutal honesty, I told her that I'd have to think whether or not our relationship was worth it to me anymore. We went to counseling, which she said made her fell even more twisted and conflicted. She had also reached out several times a day, day after day, to her lover but he'd already cut her off completely -- his last message blamed her for wrecking his family and life (Actually it was all me. Not only had I informed his wife, but also every family member, co-worker, boss, church group members, and neighbors. He finally complained that now his teaching job was in jeopardy and that his neighbors had stopped inviting him to gatherings). During one counseling session, my wife finally broke down crying saying she couldn't understand why her affair partner just wouldn't at least communicate with her and explain himself and why had he lied to her, that she felt so alone and cold, and that she couldn't bear it with me knowing that I was still so angry and unforgiving. She made the huge mistake of admitting to our counselor that she was so depressed over her lover's dismissal of her that she had nearly acted on some suicidal thoughts, but had been able to hold on hoping her lover would change his mind. She had just stepped back into the session though after going to the bathroom and calling him one last time at work to plead and beg only to be asked to never call the school again. She started suddenly crying uncontrollably and shaking and was showing all the signs of having a nervous break, the full impact of his illusion crashing down. Fearing the possibility that she might do harm to herself, our counselor decided to commit her for 2 weeks to a psychiatric ward. When she was released, she said she had finally come to her senses and admitted to contacting her old lover during the weeks of our counseling. She said she actually knew now that he was not the man her mind had believed he was and that she was blown away at how crazy she had acted during the affair -- that she simply was not herself but just desperate emotional mess.  I didn't know what to think or do, but knew I loved her and also didn't want to flush 7 years and our family down the drain. Over the next months, she completely changed. Focused herself on our relationship and the sex was like it was when we first met...passionate and lustful, yearning. We introduced some kink into the bedroom to spice things up and she begged me to give her anal sex and to "take this ____ back and own it..." etc., you get the idea. It was great and cathartic too. Things were fantastic for an entire year and are great even to this day 8 years later. But, there is not a week that goes by still that I do not have flashbacks of those damn videos she made with him. Its like a form of PTSD or something. If I let it, it becomes very debilitating. I sometimes have trouble sleeping and have to really try to block it out on bad days when something triggers the memory. That said. We are in a better place now and are very in love with each other, communicate honestly and fully. No more secrets at last.


----------



## Yourbaker

After reading through the walls of text I'm wondering why people get married. It appears to be a control issue that some simply must have over their partner or they feel like less of a person. 

Having sexual interest in other people is a simple fact of life. Forcing your partner to deny themselves or hide their lives is where the problem is, not in having sex with other people. I see this a fundamental failure of society, marriage should be a contract entered into only for the raising of children and even then why must it include monogamy? Safe sex, practiced outside of a relationship just shouldn't be such a huge issue for anyone. 

If we never set these rules in place to begin with our partners would be free to ask us what we think of their affairs. We could be the team that looks after each other not the jealous privacy invader. 

What my partner does for sex only involves me, it isn't controlled by me. Freedom not only allows him to look touch and taste as he pleases he can always get my second opinion before he gets involved with someone else. It's freedom for me as well as I don't need to read his emails or snoop for passwords. 

It just seems to me all the problems are just self image problems that people try to compensate through making rules (marriage). Be ok with yourself and don't use rules to force your partner to be ok with you, use love.


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## gmlifer

@razorsedge- your story sounds like many others and not to far from my own. I am also still with my wife so I completely understand what you mean by having memories come back out of nowhere and they absolutely will floor you.

Another issue that I have to deal with in my own mind is what motivates her to stay. In the end it doesn't matter. The relationship is better than it ever was and this is 13 years post hell phase. Good luck brother, you and I took the road less traveled and I think it has paid off, as long as the torment keeps getting less and less each year.


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## Asclepius

This is awful. Cant imagine the loss and betrayal you are experiencing.  

Personally, I would not be able to stay with a person who did this; all respect for you and your relationship, sense of dignity has been crossed. In no way is this acceptable imo.

Cannot fathom how you managed so far. You are an unbelievably strong individual and deserve to start afresh - without someone who can't respect you.

Please take time away for yourself from this person...even if it's a 'break' from the situation to get your sense of self back. This is not something you can just 'get over', nor should you.


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## iLoveYouWithaKnife

I'm agreeing with yourbaker. 
Razorsedge sounds like a complete control freak. His wife got bored of him and went on to do whatever she wanted (not saying that's right or wrong) but razorsedge snooped and snooped and made his wife tell him ever last single bloody detail. THEY SAY DONT GO LOOKING FOR SOMETHING IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE AFRAID OF WHAT YOU FIND. And now you are crying saying you have flashbacks still to this day like a form of ptsd. You suck. You had a shit storm rain on you, so the only thing you could do is call the other persons wife and ruin her fucking family.  His whole story sounds like control, it's disgusting. The whole time you're trying to "work" on your relationship she's calling the other dude hoping to speak with him. You're pathetic. Seriously.


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## Xorkoth

I think the above is overly harsh, but yeah I think the OP does have control issues and the fault here goes both ways.


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## losangeles1993

I hope to god you leave her ass for good..i cant believe you were stupid enough to go back omg dude there is pussy everywhere in the world and clearly she likes the other guy more than you since hes fucking her anal and swallowing his cum and she wont let you and youve known her for 10 years..this shit is crazy man!!!


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## losangeles1993

Razorsedge is a sucker too haha once a cheater always a cheater..too many hoes out here to be sad and forgiving lmaoo


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## gmlifer

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> I'm agreeing with yourbaker.
> Razorsedge sounds like a complete control freak. His wife got bored of him and went on to do whatever she wanted (not saying that's right or wrong) but razorsedge snooped and snooped and made his wife tell him ever last single bloody detail. THEY SAY DONT GO LOOKING FOR SOMETHING IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE AFRAID OF WHAT YOU FIND. And now you are crying saying you have flashbacks still to this day like a form of ptsd. You suck. You had a shit storm rain on you, so the only thing you could do is call the other persons wife and ruin her fucking family.  His whole story sounds like control, it's disgusting. The whole time you're trying to "work" on your relationship she's calling the other dude hoping to speak with him. You're pathetic. Seriously.



Just curious..... how would you have handled his situation?

The more I think about this post the more it feels like a troll post. Having the one person you love and cherish the most betray you in such a horrible way is excruciating. Even you most likely know that so why the hatred? Were you the guy that he sold out? He did the right thing letting the other wife know.


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## Jawjahboi

Wow I would dominate the whore


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## exy34

Forgive her in case you are sure that you want to stay with her, but keep in mind that she can do that again after some time, cheaters are cheaters and that is hard to change.


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## kaya_9

All these cases show a complete lack of character.....How do men love women like this? Boggles the mind.


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## gmlifer

kaya_9 said:


> All these cases show a complete lack of character.....How do men love women like this? Boggles the mind.




To err is human to forgive is Devine

Maybe you need to reevaluate what defines good character.


----------



## kaya_9

Heh^ what a joke

Dont know if you read the thread, but this is not an 'err' ffs....complete lack of respect for someone they are supposed to love...Good character is not fucking around on someone you're supposed to be committed to...These women should have left if they weren't happy.


----------



## gmlifer

kaya_9 said:


> Heh^ what a joke
> 
> Dont know if you read the thread, but this is not an 'err' ffs....complete lack of respect for someone they are supposed to love...Good character is not fucking around on someone you're supposed to be committed to...These women should have left if they weren't happy.



My bad. I got the impression you meant the men that stayed with the woman that cheated had bad character.


----------



## Barrenian

You need to dump her ass to the curb and let her live with the pain. Enjoy her pain, and let it soothe you. It is the only way. You're in more pain than her.


----------



## kimoice

Only a cuck would stay with a whore who cheats. That whore only cried because she wants you to continue to provide for her financially, she doesnt care about you at all. The least you should do is monitor her phone, email, social media if you decide to stay with that whore. You should take it a step further and go cheat on her, go fuck a big booty slut in her ass and see how she likes it. Then the best thing to do after is dump that bitch. The whores and betas telling you to forgive her are truly disgusting, never forgive a hoe, like many said, there are plenty out there.


----------



## Barrenian

kimoice said:


> Only a cuck would stay with a whore who cheats. That whore only cried because she wants you to continue to provide for her financially, she doesnt care about you at all. The least you should do is monitor her phone, email, social media if you decide to stay with that whore. You should take it a step further and go cheat on her, go fuck a big booty slut in her ass and see how she likes it. Then the best thing to do after is dump that bitch. The whores and betas telling you to forgive her are truly disgusting, never forgive a hoe, like many said, there are plenty out there.



The moment I would have found out I would have done such fun things to prolong her regret. So much FUN!


----------



## Nod Alot

Burnt Offerings said:


> Sounds like you really gave these videos a good watching...


LMAO I love the internet!


----------



## Barberdr

Very interesting thread, and for the people that think this is a made up story you live in a fantasy world.  This is very similar to an affair i had with a married woman shes been married for 7yrs with 1 kid(now she has 2 kids)...we met trough social media about 8 yrs ago and always kept in touch,  shes realy pretty and has a really nice personality  but her main thing was that she really likes to fuck.  From meeting up after work in our secret spots to fuck in her SU(anal sex,ass to mouth,swallow my cum)to meeting at her moms house when no1 was there to have a quickie (most of the time was anal sex)..and guess what? I wouldn't feel bad about her marriage,  why??because her husband would treat her like shit, she would always show me the way he would talk to her (trough voice mails n text)..he would tell her stuff like i hate your belly because it was stretch marks and loose skin, how her butt wasn't bug enough,  how she was nasty because she always wanted to try anal sex etc......it was a very good experience for me, but we had to stop when she got pregnant , and no its not mines...lol...i haven't seen her in almost a year.but i know she will come around. ..


----------



## JahSEEuS

BlueSaffron said:


> So you want her to swallow your cum and do anal, but when she does these things with another man she's "degrading herself"?
> 
> .



she refused to do them and used the "degrading herself" as a reason not to, if i'm reading correctly.   he didn't think she was.  please. keep. up. 

OP:  That sucks man.  I can't imagine being in a relationship that long and that serious having something like that happen.  You gotta do what feels right by you.  No point in dragging it out.  I know it's tough, you want to accomplish all of the goals and dreams you two set together.  You want to follow through on your vows.  Part of you might even feel selfish for not being able to get over this.  You aren't selfish.  What she did was completely fucked.  If you think you can eventually move on and that's what you want, you are going to have to put in some hard work, both on your own and with her.  Only you know what to do, and you probably don't even know (seeing as you are posting here).  I guess it's something you can't really open up to your friends or family about so at least we are here to listen.  


But I do agree with ILYWAK - Don't go asking questions you don't want the questions to.  There are obviously underlying issues in this relationship that led her to behave the way she did. 

Best wishes man.


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## Azure Cloud

Love is not enough to ensure monogamy. Saying no to infidelity takes presence of mind. Cutting your loses and learning the lessons of this experience is probably your best bet. Honestly infidelity seldom happens in a vacuum. Take a deep look at yourself and figure if somehow you contributed to the situation by putting her in an emotional state requiring validation outside of you relationship.


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## Erohung

Have you stopped to consider how the goddess of your life is feeling. A goddess deserves adoration. Love your wife, support her, learn with her and together you will have more strength and endurance than those that judge. 
The fact that your wife had the strength to seek the pleasures she lacked is reason for you to thank her. 
Honour the intensity she is able to experience in ways that you have never given and likely will never be able to. Empower her by feeling the intensity with her. 
A woman that has the strength to be fulfilled in different ways is a goddess to be worshipped by the man that has the strength. 
Ask to hold her, feel her breathing, every sound and movement as she uses her lover. Giving her the support and acceptance in gifting her the tool she needs will empower you together. Not in control or your insecurities but in accepting that only the most adoring prefect husband will be strong enough to nurture her needs. 
Be intimate with her already satisfied body and she will feel the complete love and acceptance. The things she feels with you nobody can ever be identical to. Being powerful enough to embrace your limitations and Loving get experience others limitations is completely honouring her strength. 
If she feels more loved and respected by others then that's where she should be. If she feels more physical pleasure with others with your acceptance, support and appreciation she will love you in ways very few will ever experience. 

The ultimate gift an enlightened goddess can be bestowed is the love of her life feeling the intense physical Heights with her as he is present with her. 

View this as her  power, get strength or her need and you will receive the strongest feelings she can give you. This is not your weekness, embracing you difference to her lover is your empowerment. She will take intensity from him and give you the intensity.
The acts she shares uniquely with him are best that way. It is better for her to not compare you but to elevate you above him. 
Her swallowing his ejaculate only means she can never prefer his taste to yours. You become unique by sharing the special things unique to you. 
The most powerful thing you can do is to give her many men that give her anal, cum on her mouth, fill her more than you. The more sexual acts you watch her experience the more she will cherish the unique things you do. 

Many men secretly will only ever dream of having such a goddess.


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## Erohung

Only an insecure scared person would label somebody a whore for having the strength to realise your wife's dreams. 
Only she knows why she needed this. A true love will work to grow from this. To be stronger as a couple are strong enough to move on his own journey.
Only the weakest would seek to punish somebody they cannot control.


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## mynewdawn2o115

I Basically think we all don't have to face all these deceit and lies from our spouse and partners...in a 
case of mine when i got sick and tired of all the lies and deceit so I disclosed a spy which works to look somebody text messages,online access and carry out other hacking services.
hacknspytech atgmaildotcom...hacknspytech atcyberservicesdotcom....you can try him too
It was a wonderful experience.


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## pofacedhoe

answered a long time ago


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