# RIP PhreeX



## tathra

Obituary

When i first heard this about a week ago, i didnt want to believe it, so i searched and searched for confirmation with help from some others, and was able to find his sister, who confirmed that it was true.

Dave died on 27 August from a fentanyl overdose.  He'd had several overdoses recently, but i'm not going to speculate about whether or not it was intentional.  I had spoken to him earlier that morning (he made some posts here too), as he was waiting for the pharmacy to open...

Regardless of how you feel about him (though most of you probably dont even know who he is... lets face it, he could be a real dick sometimes), he was a valued member of the community, and bluelight wouldnt be what it is today without him (he pushed for the creation of the Other Drugs forum back in the board's infancy).

It was a real scare back in 2003 when he overdosed, and ended up in a coma for months.  unfortunately he wont be waking up this time. 

Dave, you will be missed


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## Maui2k

no wai. 

i guess theres going to be alot of arguing in heaven tonight. r.i.p.


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## Too many doses

Rip


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## Bomboclat

wow...he was just posting in DC a few weeks ago


RIP PhreeX


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## KStoner6tb

I dind't know him..but RIP man.


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## Larr_E

Holy shit...


...goodbye buddy...


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## Belisarius

Though we weren't friends (or even acquaintances), I remember when his name was a fixture on the board in the early days.  This is indeed very sad.


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## MemphisX3

will be missed


R.I.P


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## rollEpollE

Belisarius said:


> Though we weren't friends (or even acquaintances), I remember when his name was a fixture on the board in the early days.  This is indeed very sad.



I remember him as well. 
Very sorry to hear. RIP Sir.


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## TriXieee

oh wow  


R.I.P. PreeX


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## chainsawr

how many times has phreex been pronounced dead? wtf


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## Transcendence

a jewelry maker, died Thursday.


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## Cosmic Charlie

That's very sad news    

May he R.I.P.


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## Johnny1

R.i.p.


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## ~*geNeRaTiOn E*~

rip


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## papa

wow,......very sad to hear this........RIP Phreex.


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## Evad

RIP man


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## Pander Bear

*sigh*

/me rubs temples

RIP dave


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## randycaver

wow.. he messaged me on the night he died, now i feel really bad for not responding


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## *Jamison*

wow...rip


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## sgurd

R.I.P. 

The leading character of all time in Bluelight history passed away...

(probably...)


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## leigh12

neva spoke to the guy but read alot of his shit 

RIP PhreeX

enjoy whatever it is that comes next buddy


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## SKL

RIP. I didn't know him well but much respect. A legend in our scene. My condolences go out to his loved ones.


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## Mariposa

Whoa   RIP Dave, and my condolences to those who were close with you.


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## GenericMind

That sucks.


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## Riconoen

I've read some of his posts and can't beleive another bluelighter is gone. 

"fool one day u here, and then your gone"

R.I.P.


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## EvoldicA

I've only had interaction with him a handful of times... it was enough to know that he was a great person deep down.  I wish the best for his family, and close friends.  On the bright side.. if there is one.. he will no longer suffer.


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## Riconoen

there are too many people in the shrine and for the same reason. makes me sick, not trying to blame the victim but people should know better than this I don't like hearing about people I've interacted with before dying.


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## MistaSmokalot

Rip


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## Blue_Phlame

This is NO time for fun and jokes!

PhreeX is DEAD!

*mourns*


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## AmorRoark

RIP dude.


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## rm-rf

wow. really devastating loss. i owe a lot of my knowledge of opiates to reading his posts here almost 10 years ago...


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## L2R

rest in peace, dude. 

oh man, i stumbled onto his coma thread back in the day during a particularly nasty trip and it messed with me pretty hard. 

tbh, my first reaction to this thread title was to check the calendar to see if it was april fools (no shit). 

i didn't know him, but sad news nonetheless.


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## guineaPig

rip


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## tathra

i gave his sister a link to this thread.
ashlie if you decide to drop by, we're here for you and the rest of the family, to give all the support we can   

lori - i talked to him for hours that night (in fact, he asked me to IM you once you blocked/ignored him).  dont feel bad about not responding, because nothing anybody said could've prevented this.  also, its much harder having been one of the last people to speak with him before it happened.  if only concern and telling him to be careful could've made a difference 

rico - he DID know better, thats the thing.  he was a fucking genius, and really knew his shit.  i wish he hadnt deleted all the FAQs he wrote from bluelight when he set up phreex.com (which was basically OtherDrugs Underground v2), because they were some of the best "how to's" i've ever seen.  but it doesnt matter if it was intentional or not.  he's still gone, and the people who knew and loved him are left with a huge fucking hole that can never be filled


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## negrogesic

I've known him for years, he was a good guy. Its too bad he lost the struggle, I know he was in alot of pain...

Here is one of his old PM's still in my box:



> I have finally come to the decession that I am going to resigin from Other Drugs... BA said that he can't tollerate even me not being an ACTIVE MODERATOR, and brother, I can't come up with replies to these stupid posts... I feel that most every one of these idiot's posts should be trashed but that isn;t acceptable, and since I have been gone it seems that the forum has went soft and everyone is given "respect" and shit... sorry, I just gotta step down and give YOU the position of "OD Owner" (not that it would matter to C-22) and you get to select whatever moderators you wish, but before I go I will do whatever I can to get that guy you want made the new mod in place of naturalone ...
> 
> You're the only one to know at this point ....



People thought i wasn't going to make it due to the size of my habits. Now, i'm fine; in fact, i'm very good, very happy, no pain, no cravings. Too bad he didn't make it too....

It could have easily been me; i remember when i was injecting 3 100ug/hr duragesics in big 8ml shots. I would wake up on the bathroom, with strange patterns on my chest from rubbing myself with the syringe while in a daze. Perhaps it will catch up with me later in life (i must have all sorts of things in my lungs, etc), but for now i seem fine....

RIP Dave.....


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## lostNfound

RIP, I remember him when was more active around the place.
Sad news.


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## BA

Wow, sad indeed. 

As Administrator a few years ago, Other Drugs was one of the forums I was responsible for. Naturally I spent quite a bit of time conversing with PhreeX (and negrogesic) and formed somewhat of a friendship with him. He was iconic to OD and I'm sure helped many people along the way who read his FAQ's.  Think of the tragedies he prevented by being so forthright with his stories and detailed experiences.

RIP, dude.

Related reading, one of his previous brushes with death:
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=70198


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## Swerlz

Seriously a great loss.. I've read almost all of his posts in recent months (or atleast those i can find) and he was a great brilliant mind. He will be missed among everyone. My heart goes out to his friends and family.

R I P Dave


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## Oopsz

Aaron, thank you for the heads up.

Phreex..  For a while, I was proud to call him friend.  

He always impressed me with his encyclopedic knowledge and willingness to call anyone out if they were wrong, (or even wrong in his eyes.)  He was an asshole, but he respected knowledge and experience in others.  

He got into trouble, and he had been in tight situations from time to time, but his quick wit and sense of personal invincibility always saw him through in the end.  I honestly thought he'd outlast us all.  

I salute you, Dave.  I think no matter what we say here, he would say he lived life to its fullest.  Go in peace and godspeed.


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## JV

damn.

rest in peace man.  thank you for helping a lot of people while you were here.


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## paranoid android

I never knew him personally but ive sure read alot of his stuff. Hell i even replied to that thread he made in OD about Duragesic there a few weeks back.

 RIP man.


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## AfterGlow

He is one of the mods I respected and admired when I first joined BL.  He gave me great advice.  It's too bad he's no longer with us.   

RIP


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## Dave

...

I had only spoken to him once or twice, ages ago. He helped to fuel my embryonic love of chemistry, and I'm certain that I wouldn't be where I am today without him. I'd doubt that he'd even remember me, much less our conversations, but I wish that I could have told him how much respect I had for him.

May he rest in peace, and my deepest condolences to his family and friends.


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## MyDoorsAreOpen

PhreeX and his second-to-none largesse with highly helpful drug-related advice was the stuff of legend by the time I joined BL. Shine on, you crazy diamond.


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## beta1

Damn that sucks..

RIP, a BL legend has passed.


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## junglejuice

Rest in peace, Dave.
You will be missed around here


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## Delsyd

Rip


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## SA

BA said:


> Wow, sad indeed.
> 
> As Administrator a few years ago, Other Drugs was one of the forums I was responsible for. Naturally I spent quite a bit of time conversing with PhreeX (and negrogesic) and formed somewhat of a friendship with him. He was iconic to OD and I'm sure helped many people along the way who read his FAQ's.  Think of the tragedies he prevented by being so forthright with his stories and detailed experiences.
> 
> RIP, dude.
> 
> Related reading, one of his previous brushes with death:
> http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=70198



I was about to link the same thread, as soon as I got word of this just a few minutes ago. Thanks for beating me to it, BA.

Rest in peace, Dave. 

I've got loooooooooots more to say on the subject, but I'll leave it for another day, another thread.

...


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## poopie

i really am at a loss for words.

my condolences to the lanier family. i had been to your house many times, and you were all so nice.

i thought i had an idea about what was going on with him, but i was really wrong. i hope he has found what he was looking for, and i truly, sincerely wish him peace. he only lived a couple of towns over, still. i don't know that even i would have responded to his messages, though.

2 years ago, he sent me a lengthy apology email.

i'm relieved that i have saved it all this time.

r.i.p. david v. lanier


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## phr

Rip


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## TheTripDoctor

Definitely sad


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## StarTripper

RIP Dave


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## Banquo

It was great to see him checking in again.  He had a natural genius with words that always had me in stitches.  I was just looking now to see if he had any new posts and it is horrible to find this instead.  My condolences to his family and friends for whom he undoubtedly had much love.  Best wishes and safe journey, Dave.


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## rangrz

*comes to attention and salutes* RIP, I may not of known you, but to loose anyone in that way is tragic and deserves respect.


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## n3ophy7e

RIP PhreeX


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## drug struggler

originally posted May 17th 2003 by DavesLilSis

  hello
Wow- I know it's been a long time since I posted....time has gone by way too fast since all this has happened. I really don't know what to say at this point. For the good news....yes, he's alive, fully recovered..doing great. I couldn't be more happy. On the bad side....Dave will look you straight in the face and tell you how he is going to continue living like he has been...b/c he loves it so much. A part of me had hoped that this experience would scare him into sobriety..maybe even make him forget that part of himself that liked...or even knew of the drug world. It was just wishful thinking....i guess. I'll continue to hope for a bright future for him...living is a good start...unfortunantly it looks like he is wanting to fall back into his old ways....fast. He already plans on using his fent perscription the police left to a doctor...and getting more. There's no doubt in my head that he will get OXY pretty easy.....there's really nothing my family and I can do at this point. We'd like to thank everyone for their support.....if anyone has any amazing recovery stories they want to share with me....I know I'd love to hear them....and keep on getting support. These times are just really hard....I don't know or understand if Dave fully realizes what he's gone through...what the families gone through...part of me thought it was the drugs that made him like that...but now that he's clean....I guess a bigger part of it is really him.....thats somthing thats very hard to swallow. I feel like I dont know him anymore....better yet--I dont think I ever did. On Mothers Day I went and saw him ....and at Denny's he actually said that death probably would have been very peaceful.......this was very upsetting to hear.....I just don't know. Posting on here has been very theraputic for me.....hearing others posts has been hopefull.....Although I do feel as though I am invading on my brothers "world" ....so I think I will stop....I don't want to piss him off...he's home now...and sleeping...he'll be here to live for quite some time....I dont know if hes going to rehab or not.....if he gets to decide...its a definite NO.....we would like him to go....but he says it wont do any good. He doesnt want to change.....this is a harsh reality I'm afraid I have come to terms with.....as saddening as that it to my family and I. I told him in the hospital in a card that if he needed me I would be there...to take him anyone for help.....he gave me a hug that day....and it was the first time he had hugged me in a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. I'm talking years here. I thought that was a start...but I think he was just really depressed at the time...and has changed already. He'll probably get mad at me for posting stuff like this....Im sure this isnt the Dave he wants you all to know.....so I'll stop. I just wanted to say a final thanks to you guys.....It means more than you can imagine....

his poor family... to go thru all that just to lose him 6 yrs later to the same bullshit.  How selfish we are in risking our own lives.


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## Sebastians_ghost

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news...aths-083109083109aug31,0,2333853.story?page=2

8/31: Deaths in Central Florida

DAVID V. LANIER, 30, Deltona, died Thursday. Fourtowns Cremation and Burial Society, Orange City.


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## KemicalBurn

Damn. Hope he found that perfect high, whenever i read his posts, he always seemed to be deliberately pushing his limits - one time I remember he injected a "smoke-able" amount of 5-meo-DMT. I think that was the one that put him in a coma, or maybe the one where he met God. . .

I dunno. I always admired the "no bullshit policy" he kept OD in. And I also believe he was one of the first people to push for the psychedelics discussion, and a couple of other forums too.

He's done a great service for this site and his advice is timeless. Big ups to you Dave.

I'm gonna go read some of his crazy stories from when he was smoking too much meth. They still always manage to put a smile on my smile.


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## RJW

Wow, so sad to hear.
Phreex was a great mod and made OD my fav place on Bluelight back in the day.  I really enjoyed his posts and his type of humor. 
Dave, thanks man for the few times we chatted and the advice you gave me that was very helpful. RIP brother.


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## Mysterier

Rip


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## caffeine_voices

Damn... He will be missed


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## -Guido-

Fuck... I don't fucking believe it... R.I.P. bro...


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## bagochina

Another casualty from drugs, sad...


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## @lterEgo

one of this board's biggest personalities for sure... RIP


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## chinky

didnt know him but RIP fam


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## spork

Oh wow, RIP


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## axl blaze

so long and thanks for everything, Dave


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## the better green

I remember his posts from when i used to lurk back in the day.

R.I.P. brotha


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## isotopic_parody

wow... I haven't spoken to PhreeX in a year or so... and that was via myspace and his private forum... Crazy that I had just been thinking about him recently and was wondering how he has been doing.

He was a true value to the community... a man I admired for his way with words and his no-bullshit attitude... 

Serves as a reminder to all of us... that knowledge doesn't mean were invincible.

 PhreeX, you will surely be missed. I hope for the best for you and your family out there.

RIP PhreeX


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## SmokeTrails

holy shit.. your kidding... i thought he was immortal...

rip bro


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## Captain.Heroin

*Goodbye PhreeX*

You were one of the better users on this site, and had a lot to share with everyone.  I'm one of the newer BL mods, so I didn't really know you all that well.  However, I did see your posts around BL (the most recent one about Duragesic), and I can assure that you will be sorely missed by many BLers and RL friends and family.  

Peace


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## Samadhi

Holy shit - I'd only ever interracted with him online (here, a few emails) but he was larger than life and his absence will be keenly felt around here...


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## VerbalTruist

Thats rough.



Hopefully he's in a better place.


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## johanneschimpo

RIP PhreeX.






I have always have been and always will be extremely grateful for what your work has ultimately brought us - Other Drugs.


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## Infinite Jest

My first reaction on seeing this was that it was some weird joke, or an old thread that had been bumped (maybe from his OD a few years back).

Can't believe it. Don't want to believe it. He was always meant to be the one who was fucking indestructible no matter what life threw at him, no matter what he did.

I didn't even know the guy, other than a few PM's (at one point he got the idea that I'd called him gay, and got a bit offended then asked to be made an admin :D). 

But every time we look around BL we can see his legacy. For newer members: he was one of the main driving forces behind the creation of Other Drugs, and the transformation of BL from an MDMA focused site to a more general drug harm reduction site. OD mods and posters, you owe a lot to him.

RIP PhreeX. Love to his family and friends here. Somewhere in heaven there's a BLOP being organised right now.


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## Ashlie1983

I'm trying to contact people, but I can't bc I'm not "bluelite" status... someone contact me
- Dave's Sis


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## fengtau




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## MattPD

RIP Phreex.

I'm feeling real sad right now.


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## Pshaaw

RIP Phreex...  I read alot of your posts...  this is indeed a sad day  (


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## NickyJ

Wow, this is shit. I liked the lad


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## mariacallas

RIP man. You lived a full and exciting life. Time to rest now.


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## roseinthemoonlight

RIP Phreex

Never knew him, but I've read his posts and would've loved to hear more of his wisdom.

For his friends and family I send all my love and prayers. And hope Phreex is in the arms of an angel, finding comfort there.

~Sarah McLachlan - Angel~


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## Jackal

More Death, damn

R.I.P


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## Cerp

PhreeX R.I.P.

Easily one of (if not) the biggest contributers to Other Drugs


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## drugfukkdrockstar

Oh my god ..... what???

He messaged me a few weeks ago ...


> It's 4:22 am, i am waiting for the pharmacy to open and I am bored ... you got an aim name?
> 
> Well, hit me back..



I wrote back giving him my msn details, but he never got back to me. I guess he didn't use msn? Now i wish i had a aim.... maybe i could have helped him... fark this can't be so!



Dude.. RIP man. I am so sorry we didn't get to know each other better.


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## abygale

This makes me sad.


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## wibble

RIP, though are with his family =(


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## vibr8tor

randycaver said:


> wow.. he messaged me on the night he died, now i feel really bad for not responding



  he sent me a pm that night as well, but i was at work and didn't get it or have a chance to respond until a few days later.  oh god, this is so sad.  so fucking sad.  i just keep thinking about all the times in the past that we've talked and stuff; why did i have to be at work that night?  i'm sure it wouldn't have mattered, but it sounds like he was really reaching out to everyone who may have been available.  fuck, i just can't stop crying.  dave- you'll be missed more than you ever thought possible.  i'm so sorry your life ended so premature; my thoughts and much love go out to your family.


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## fizzygirl

Definitely hard to believe -- you're just used to that person (or stories of that person) being around forever.  The ups and downs and information that he represented and experienced made up a large part of my early days on the board.  RIP.


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## drugfukkdrockstar

fark i just double checked and he messaged me on the night/day that he died also.... hence why he never responded to me when i asked him about msn.... Oh god  I am heartbroken. God dammit 

I hope he is in a much better place.


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## nuke

Rip


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## drscience

RIP dave


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## hoptis

Terrible news. RIP


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## atri

rip


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## zephyr

We talked off and on over the years and spoke on the phone a few times. He was very supportive when I was in rehab. Its sad he could not get out of his addictive cycle.


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## Edvard Munch

Oh, ... shit.  The next bloke on BL to die is getting his ass kicked in the after-life.


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## New

RIP. and life goes on missing a piece...


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## peteym

RIP man much respect you saved my ass probly more than once


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## erosion

RIP phreex. I'm sure there is plenty of oxy in heaven.


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## indelibleface

Very unfortunate. Rest in peace, brother.

It really goes to show that even perceived experts make mistakes with this sort of thing.




Well this has been a downer morning.


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## tobala

sail on PhreeX


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## notauniquesnowflake

Goodbye buddy


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## logie

Truly a pioneer for us here at BL... I'm at a loss for words.. 

RIP Dave..


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## ego_loss

RIP, so sad, so tragic and all that... and I certainly didn't know the guy half as well as a lot of y'all did. I only talked to him IRL a handful of times, and each time he had no memory of ever having spoken with me before. Oddly enough, each time he also tried to sell me stuff... like turntables or power tools... once he tried to get me to buy a bike even.

Bluelight was never really the same once he stopped actively participating. Regardless of how long he has been away from the site, the whole place just feels a little less... I don't know... a little less cynical... a little less brilliant. Love him or hate him, he was one of the best. Top five, at least. I was never a big participant in the OD forum, but I spent countless hours in #od and then on odug, not because I had anything worthwhile to contribute to those places, but because he was just so damn entertaining. Even if you walked headlong into one of his brilliantly epic trollings, you still had to respect him. His FAQS, guides, long winded posts and rants set a standard of quality... as did his shenanigans.

But still, you don't live as hard as he did and maintain delusions of a long a fruitful life. Not that he had a hard life (that I know of...) but after countless brushes with death and lucky misses, is anyone really surprised that it took this long for him to finally cross that threshold for good? Far be it from me to speculate about his intentions that night (although I'm sure if he were reading this thread about someone else he wouldn't hesitate to call the deceased a dirty junkie), but he was a fucking pro and if he _wanted_ it to end like this... it was inevitable.

*TL/DR:*

My deepest condolences go out to his family and loved ones. I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like for them. The man has passed, but the myths will live on.


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## vegan

negrogesic said:


> Here is one of his old PM's still in my box:
> 
> 
> 
> I have finally come to the decession that I am going to resigin from Other Drugs... BA said that he can't tollerate even me not being an ACTIVE MODERATOR, and brother, I can't come up with replies to these stupid posts... I feel that most every one of these idiot's posts should be trashed but that isn;t acceptable, and since I have been gone it seems that the forum has went soft and everyone is given "respect" and shit... sorry, I just gotta step down and give YOU the position of "OD Owner" (not that it would matter to C-22) and you get to select whatever moderators you wish, but before I go I will do whatever I can to get that guy you want made the new mod in place of naturalone ...
> 
> You're the only one to know at this point ....
Click to expand...

is the point of this post to stroke your ego or his?


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## Noodle

The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.


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## fatallyflawed

fucking horse shit

RIP


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## chrissie

Here's to hoping the afterlife is one big sedation vacation.  You'll be missed around here.


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## Z Y G G Y

I always knew him as the fentanyl guy that made funny and entertaining posts. Sad thou to go at such a young age.


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## ego_loss

vegan said:


> is the point of this post to stroke your ego or his?



we all deal with grief in our own way...


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## FreyGrimrod

fuck this week just keeps getting worse.... surreal to see so many folks handles....

another bastion of knowledge leaves this earth.


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## jwinkulheimer

RIP PhreeX


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## felix

never interacted with him but i've sure heard of him. RIP dude.


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## dethkon

RIP to PhreeX. The dude was a FOUNDER of the internet drug scene for sure. Smart man.


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## StaffWriter

Damn. First time I ever heard of this guy named "Phreex" was from reading a book called "Pills A Go Go", where he wrote a piece on how to rob a pharmacy. Next thing I know, I'm talkin' to the man here on bluelight a couple of years later. RIP


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## melange

holy shit I cannot believe this

the guy is a legend



r.i.p. 


sad day


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## Colmes

I read many of your threads, Phreex. I was always told that if I wanted to learn something about anything -  all I had to do was find the original post that you had wrote.


He was wonderful at explaining things, was helpful, and intelligent. It is a damn shame that such a young and bright mind had to be ended so early in life. I may have never directly spoken to him via PM- but the fact that i'm writing here shows why people do and should pay their respects.

Rest In Peace

Colmes


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## BlessedAnomaly

Oh man I saw this on another board, and rushed over here to see if it was true...

RIP.


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## bdreligrrl

Wow. My heart goes out to PhreeX's family - I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now, not to mention what you've been going through for years. I wouldn't wish a moment of that on anyone.

Part of me is deeply saddened, and hoping that he can finally be at peace and without his demons. Another part of me wonders how on earth it took this long for the sadly inevitable to happen. Regardless, BL - a place I long considered an online home of sorts and come back to barely recognize - will be both less educated and less exciting for his loss.


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## 2muchpain

Ashlie1983 said:


> I'm trying to contact people, but I can't bc I'm not "bluelite" status... someone contact me
> - Dave's Sis



i would just like to say that i'm really really sorry for your loss. to you and your family and to everyone who knew him and cared for him.

x x x x


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## Captain.Heroin

Phreex, I did not know you.  But, I did just look at your profile and noticed this was your personal quote:  "Live for today and only hope you're alive to see tomorrow"

I can see you have done your share of living, because you're a BL legend and you have a lot of respect and admiration.  

My thoughts go out to you and your family.


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## groovee2

wow, just heard about this at the smoking area where I work. while it doesn't surprise me that something like this happened to him he was one of the reasons I first started reading OD on BL many, many years ago.

he did rub some folks the wrong way but he always was straight up in his knowledge and advice. I will miss him.


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## vicodelicious

Wow. I'm shocked. Phreex and I had a few conversations about the same drug he OD'd on. Let this be a lesson that even the most advanced and knowledgeable drug users are not exempt. Especially with such a dangerous opiate like fentanyl.... 

RIP PHREEX

Vico


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## HadMatter

read the date,






also, my reg date.


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## tathra

even from beyond the grave, dave is able to create drama and be an epic troll   no doubt he would've wanted us all guessing whether or not he's really dead, to cement his legendary status, and would laugh his ass off at all this.

bravo motherfucker, you win again


----------



## Ashlie1983

*Dave's final days*

Well, its hard to say goodbye to someone you haven't spoken to in over a year. Sadly, that was the case for me and my brother. I couldn't be close to him anymore..it was too painful. I don't know if David ever mentioned how much damage the OD had caused him back in 03, but it was pretty bad. He had some brain damage and towards the end of his time here he started going to doctors because he was having trouble moving the left side of his body. He had heart problems, gland problems..etc. Anyway, my point is..he knew what he was doing was killing him..and kept doing it. I know that's the addiction, but, at some point you begin to think of it as a slow suicide. Anyway, I don't think David did this intentionally. I think he knew it was inevitable though. I think we all did..well maybe not my Mom. Dave had the most loving mother on the planet. People always blame parents for things like this and its just wrong bc his mom is great. She took care of him when he was sick, took him to the doctors to help his left side paralysis. She was in denial, he was her baby boy. 
Davids behavior started changing after his paralysis started. He started going to church with my mom. He still used, but I think he also knew something was coming. Maybe he just did it to make my mom happy, who knows.
David died the day after his birthday. He spent his bday with my mom. He died 20 feet from where my mom was..she thought he was sleeping.
We had no idea Dave was shooting up fentanyl. We thought he wore his patches, but the police searched his room.
My brother asked my mom to read to him from the Bible that night.
I'm writing this bc I think you guys should know..how sad this turned out. Maybe it will stop one of you from trying fentanyl or something. Who knows.
My brother was always so fucking smart..I will always be jealous of that. He and I shared the same sick sense of humor..so I'm thankful for that. He knew how to make me laugh just as much as make me cry.
Anyway..just wanted to share. Thanks everyone.


----------



## Ashlie1983

And no, this isn't fake..I don't appreciate the post, HadMatter


----------



## PinK~cloud

This really hits home; opens my eyes.

RIP i always enjoyed reading your stuff


----------



## HadMatter

I figured you wouldn't, but it needed to be posted. My brother also died of an overdose(oxy), so don't tell me it is insensitive.  Never said it was fake either....


----------



## logie

when was the bottom log from opposed to the top one?

edit: forgot to mention, and i've posted it before, i went through the same thing he did in 03.. coma, icu all because of that shit.. very very powerful.. gotta be careful

cant believe he was up to 10mg -- one of his last posts indicates this.. thats crazy.


----------



## Ashlie1983

You know what..after thinking about it..I want to apologise to HadMatter. I am so mad at David for saying that. He was so sick in the head.


----------



## smackem

rip PhreeX


----------



## mariacallas

*hugs Ashlie* 
My heart goes out to you, your mom and family.


----------



## brutus

Rest in peace man. 

I couldn't believe it when you started posting again and now I can't believe that you are dead.


----------



## Ex-Tweeker

Rip


----------



## Opiate 420

Damn thats so sad, I didn't really know him, but still, my heart goes out to all family and friends going through this hard time.

RIP PhreeX, I hope your in a better place...


----------



## TheodoreRoosevelt

RIP

Reading his posts got me interested in joining BL.


----------



## bingey

everybody should think about this the next time they see a pic of fent patches or thread on it and think "I wouldn't mind trying that"


so this is how you get jaded..


rip prheex , much strenght ti his sister i feel for you must be hard seeing your brother killing himself (I have a small sister and intend to stay alive )


----------



## monstanoodle

♥
Sleep soundly Phreex ... You were a great moderator and from what I've read here a great human being.

Rest In Blissful Peace


----------



## OcXanNorBud

Really unfortunate to hear. didnt know him, but r.i.p. man. your in a better place. friends and loved ones-keep your head up.


----------



## panic in paradise

i always enjoyed and learned something from your posts back in the dAY, and the occasional ones i would catch more recently.

some great minds just cant handle themselves - rip. 

my heart goes out to you & yours.


----------



## McFly

His detox/ guide saved my skin and gave me a solid template to work from when i needed to go through WDs. Never met or spoke to him, but his advice helped me get through some dark days.

Hugs to his friends and family.

RIP PhreeX, maybe we'll meet at the great gig in the Sky.


----------



## ro4eva

So sad, I remember reading about his OD in 2003 and hoping he would wake up from his coma.  And now, he's gone 

R.I.P.


----------



## jackie jones

My condolences to PhreeX's family and friends.


----------



## ghostfreak

RIP Dave and my thoughts go out to the family and friends.


----------



## Snowbear

I "met" him at a small newsgroup in the late 1990's and his posts kept the group laughing constantly.

He was smart and funny.  What a waste and a sorrow to hear of his death.

Will


----------



## delta_9

Wow this is terrible.  Although I ever knew him personally, PhreeX was seriously one of my favorite bl'ers.  He was such an intelligent person and one the best mods we've ever had.

RIP


----------



## Syd_Barret

I just saw this thread.
I'm sorry to hear about this.
I wasn't good friends with Phreex, but on occasion we spoke.
Mostly its just a shock to see that hes passed because I started reading/posting at bluelight when i was about 14/15 years old, and Phreex's posts always stood out, whether he was flaming someone, making a joke, or giving good (or bad ) advice.
To me this is a reminder that even the biggest egos fall if they're not careful.
Rip, and lets hope everyone can learn to be a little bit more careful from this.


----------



## Luude

What a terrible loss, he was one of the most switched on, informed and educated drug users i've ever come across via messageboards.

RIP dude.


----------



## plug in baby

I only just found out about this...how sad and tragic 




tathra said:


> Dave died on 27 August from a fentanyl overdose.  He'd had several overdoses recently, but i'm not going to speculate about whether or not it was intentional.  I had spoken to him earlier that morning (he made some posts here too), as he was waiting for the pharmacy to open...



He'd IM'd me that day too...it was 27th August at 9.32am for him and he seemed happy...

_Thursday, 27 August 2009 
live4thewarmth (11:02:27 PM): oh god, dont be away ....
pluginbaby76 (11:02:28 PM): I am away from my computer right now.
pluginbaby76 (11:02:37 PM): ?
live4thewarmth (11:02:44 PM): oh, yer there
live4thewarmth (11:02:54 PM): ssssup chica?
pluginbaby76 (11:02:54 PM): just for a few mins....heading to bed
pluginbaby76 (11:03:08 PM): nothing muchos...hows you?
live4thewarmth (11:03:25 PM): oh ... turned 30 yesterday
pluginbaby76 (11:03:56 PM): ohh happy birthday 
live4thewarmth (11:04:51 PM): yer in oz right?
pluginbaby76 (11:05:03 PM): yep
live4thewarmth (11:05:32 PM): that idiot paul watson wwith "sea shepherd" is there
live4thewarmth (11:05:52 PM): anyway, sleeep, ill be on later
pluginbaby76 (11:06:11 PM): ok...hope you have a nice birthday week 
pluginbaby76 (11:06:13 PM): bai
live4thewarmth went away at 11:16:49 PM
live4thewarmth signed off at 11:17:45 PM _


I guess he never came back on later... 

RIP Dave


----------



## Fuzati

RIP

He was definitely one of my favorite bluelighters


----------



## versd

rest in peace phreex

i remember the old OD crew from years ago. you will be missed.


----------



## Tiesto

Holy shit Phreex died?  That's crazy.  I was just reading some of his older posts a few weeks ago..And the whole "survivor" show thing that went down back in the day.  I was even mentioning it to some of my friends, dam, sorry to hear about phreex.


----------



## dragonslayer428

I didn't know him, but RIP, man.


----------



## pkt

RIP, i remember when he first overdosed.

it just goes to show....


----------



## JennJenn

RIP! I'm sorry to hear this..

I'm newer and didn't know him, but just this morning I was laughing my ass off at some of his posts and thought he would be cool to get to know here...then I look here and I just missed him

Peace to his family and friends

Jenn


----------



## Weeman0896

Didn't know him, but seems like he was very important to the members of bluelight...sorry to hear about it guys...I guess even the best of us fall, it's just a matter of when...RIP...


----------



## Ashlie1983

........................


----------



## Selfmeditaker

sweet jesus. I was this very morning reading his old old stuff and just now came across this.what a sad sad horrific shock. i didnt know him like others here but ive been reading bluelight and specificlly his work for almost 7 years. We lost a great man, and to his sister; i hope you and your family can start to get through this in time. time heals all wounds they say. My brother also died in a similar situation and though nobody ever knows "what someone else feels" but i have lost a great brother and so have you. my many condolences  he is in a better place where there's no pain,saddness...


----------



## tambourine-man

Jesus... he only just started posting again...

RIP man.  BL history is history.


----------



## LiLCv2

Why am I just finding out about this now? 

RIP BRO, Without you BL wouldn't be what it has become.


----------



## Smyth

yes, this is very sad news. RIP geez.

PhreeX told me about the time he OD'd in 2002.

He didnt want me to tell people he was planning this, but it was a deliberate suicide.


----------



## Smyth

I just read the post on page 6.

He's just lying.


----------



## Phreexmom

Please send me a private message with any information you have from PhreeX about these intentions, and why.  Thank you


----------



## chuchu

Smyth.......umm not to be rude but wtf man. Such sentiments are not to be posted regardless of what he told you. Talking to his family instead of posting what you said would have been much better. I dont see what you stand to gain by saying that HERE. Although he is gone doesnt mean its time to air stuff about him that he (might) have told you. Its better that we remember the man for what he was a dedicated bluelighter and of course a friend and relation to many. Your comments authentic or not smirk of insensitivity and lack of regard to his family . Dunno if you wish to but please edit your post lets give the guy some respect even in death regardless of how he may have died accord him the dignity and respect he deserves from us by not publisizing confidential details on this thread. These are my feelings on the matter as i am sure i would not like that to happen if it were me.


----------



## null_null

the time i joined BL he was modding OD.
i think he did a great job regarding "harm reduction",
he also posted some of the funniest stories on here.

rip


----------



## Selfmeditaker

chuchu said:


> Smyth.......umm not to be rude but wtf man. Such sentiments are not to be posted regardless of what he told you. Talking to his family instead of posting what you said would have been much better. I dont see what you stand to gain by saying that HERE. Although he is gone doesnt mean its time to air stuff about him that he (might) have told you. Its better that we remember the man for what he was a dedicated bluelighter and of course a friend and relation to many. Your comments authentic or not smirk of insensitivity and lack of regard to his family . Dunno if you wish to but please edit your post lets give the guy some respect even in death regardless of how he may have died accord him the dignity and respect he deserves from us by not publisizing confidential details on this thread. These are my feelings on the matter as i am sure i would not like that to happen if it were me.



well said friend. this is not the place, specially with his family here to post true or untrue things about someone whos no longer with us. 

My heart goes out to Phreex's Mom and little sis


----------



## applesbliss

PhreeX and I created the Other Drugs forum together and were the original mods along with creating the first BL IRC channel. 

We went back further than that since we actually knew each other online as far back as 1994. This was years before we met in person. We were both central FLers... the original BL crew. Fun times especially in 1998.

The last time I saw him in person was in the 90s and we chatted last back in 2005. Since that time him and I lost touch. I was just Googling his name today and learned about his death. 

Dave was a maverick. He loved to share his wealth of knowledge. He had a lot of great ideas.

To quote Urban Dictionary: 


> A person who is creatively different from mainstream, conservative society and is therefore made to feel unloved and unwanted despite their great intellect and love for others. Someone too kind and sweet for this cruel world.


http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=PhreeX

RIP Dave l33+


----------



## Matt_Himself

I just heard about this now... and I cant believe it.

I first started talking to him in the ODU days.  We werent very close, but we definitely had some good conversations.  Through his abrasive way of speaking, he always managed to spread valuable information to others.  His guides were amongst the best I have read on using drugs.  His detox guide in particular was one that helped me a great deal in recent years when I was struggling with heroin addiction.  The contributions he made to this site on the online drug community as a whole were paramount.  He will truly be missed by all those were fortunately enough to know him.  And for those who didnt know him, my heart goes out to you as well, because this bright burning candle of information has been snuffed out too early.

RIP Dave.  My condolences to hsi family.


----------



## jackie jones

I enjoy reading Phreex's threads/posts. The man was dilligent in his ways.


----------



## XiolaBleu

Wow. I was always a fan of his writings on Bluelight. This is truly sad.


----------



## 'medicine cabinet'

Rip


----------



## donkeyPUNCH

a damn shame....

RIP dude... You'll be missed.


----------



## tathra

sometimes i didnt really care much for dave, due to his constant exaggerations and his delusions of grandeur, but i certainly respected him for his knowledge and his genius.  he was a great troll, capable of causing great lulz.

i'm actually proud to have learned from him (and i learned a lot about all kinds of things i could probably never actually put to use), and i want to try to carry on his legacy.  i've been trying to incorporate his style more and more into my life when appropriate, but its incredibly difficult, as his style was unmatchable, but to honor him and imitate as best as possible is certainly a worthwhile endeavor.


----------



## Artificial Emotion

I hope he is still alive. Maybe he is? We can still hope, right?


----------



## SpellmanT7

I remember Phreex being amongst the posters in alt.drugs.hard when I first worked out what the hell outlook express was really for back in 1997 or thereabouts. Along with sabretooth, george@midnight and some others, they really did a helluva job promoting a drug induced lifestyle...

I pretty much bought into everything Phreex said he'd done and used the sheer 'who-gives-a-fuck-ness' of his posts as encouragement to readily experiment with substances I really had no right to be touching. Hell - he was a great writer and probably could've drawn readers into posts relating to hellish experiences, such was his mastery of brutally honest language and would-be users' minds.


----------



## Blowmonkey

Damn.   Rip man.


----------



## Roger&Me

Oh fuck man.  

This hit me right in my gut. 

RIP to a true legend.


----------



## shade12435

I've been reading bluelight since way back in 2000.  I remember this mans posts as being some of the best.  RIP PhreeX, you will be missed.


----------



## day_for_night

god this has hit me hard.  i mod'd OD with him for quite awhile, and we had some amazing AIM convos I wish I had saved.  never did a bad thing to me, and I will miss him tremendously.  I wish I had not lost touch with the guy...


----------



## jaroben

RIP Phreex.


----------



## totach

r.i.p my man


----------



## DG

How horrible. I just saw a reference to this and couldnt believe it so I cam to see for myself. RIP Phreex. He was a good guy deep inside...we used to talk for hours on AIM years ago.


----------



## gsta4lyfe

r.i.p.


----------



## 8sadie8

I had no idea, I have been reading the forums for a while now.. very outdated threads.  I just joined, prior to joining I attempted to email him, because I always enjoyed his reading his threads.. Very sad to hear it, I never got a chance to know him.


----------



## Artificial Emotion

Well I suppose fentanyl (I think it was fent) users have a habit of dropping dead, so it sounds plausible. I hope for his sake it's a joke but somehow I doubt it is. Poor guy.

My friend died of a mysterious cause relatively recently so I know how it feels to lose a friend. It's actually quite annoying as I want to remember my friend but at the same time am desperate to forget him, which causes a lot of guilt. Sorry for me rambling on about my own selfish problems.


----------



## katmeow

He used to come into the australian irc channel in the good old days. I remember him telling me about sedation vacation and thinking what a crazy idea it was.

Reading the posts of his sister really drives home how the public persona can somewhat cover a sad story underneath. 

RIP. Your contribution to BL wont be forgotten. I hope your family is able to get some closure.


----------



## FoX

Dave was both a friend and a worthy adversary; I'll never forget the many long hours I spent arguing with him whether the marijuana forum was worthwhile or not back in 2001/2002. Immensely talented and immensely frustrating at the same time.

I never got to meet him in person; though I was in the same building he was in (long story, involved flashing blue lights). Many memories, and his knowledge of pharmaceuticals was immense.

RIP brother.


----------



## Whatchamacallit

He was the first member that I really payed attention to _what_ he had to say. Although he was rather brash in the _way_ he said it sometimes. Knowledgeable in the most entertaining way.

I remember back in 1999/2000 when I was first researching ecstasy. I was immediately drawn to P's posts. And I told a friend of mine that wanted to know about ecstasy, go to this place called bluelight and in their ecstasy forum look for a guy by the name of free x.

What ever happened with the book, maybe 2 if my memory serves me right, he did on getting pharms from emergency rooms and pain doctors?

R.I.P good man


----------



## tathra

^ he had a section in Pills A Go Go if i remember right.  i've been working on tracking down some of the FAQs and other stuff he wrote because the information was some of the best, but i'm not having much luck.  i do seem to remember him having a book out, and he said he working on volume 2 for years, but i cant remember the name.  i'm working on it though.  people DO have his stuff saved, but they're either impossible to track down, refuse to share it, or cant access it.

i'm definitely working on it though.
if anybody has any of his FAQs, stuff saved from ODU or phreex.com, or anything like that, please get in touch with me, and i can pass along the information to his sister as well.


----------



## whipitgood3030

i remember he was at deaths door years ago and everyone was getting ready like he was dead.. and then a year later i come back and theres tons of posts by him....

i remember him saying weed is the "nastiest drug ever"

RIP, if your really dead this time


----------



## rachamim

Tathra: The "Pills" thing you are talkinging about was a single mention about some fantasy Phreex had about robbing an Rx, though Hogshire did excerpt in the book compendium of the zine. In anyone wants I will get somebody to scan it and upload it (Hogshire merely copped off of Alt.).


----------



## Artificial Emotion

So was it, as someone said, suicide or accidental? I wouldn't be surprised if he actually is dead, as opiate users have a tendency to drop dead like flies. It's a real shame as he sounded very intelligent.


----------



## getreal

RIP.  God bless him and his family


----------



## newbeginning

RIP, Phreex. I've been a part of this community for a very long time now, although I haven't been active here for a long time. My main moniker was Dr_Rolls_MD[MA] and I was a fellow moderator at the same time as Dave. However, I lost my password and this is my alternative BL account.  

Anyways, Wow! I'm shocked by this news! I spent COUNTLESS hours/days/years in this community. Phreex was a major influence to me. I enjoyed and valued his presence to this board. I am once again reminded of the dangerous dance taking substances is, no matter who you are or how educated you are about what you are doing. Sad, indeed! 

My condolences to all of his family and friends who were close to him.


----------



## WSB15

Artificial Emotion said:


> So was it, as someone said, suicide or accidental? I wouldn't be surprised if he actually is dead, as opiate users have a tendency to drop dead like flies. It's a real shame as he sounded very intelligent.



PhreeX and I exchanged a few PMs back in '05 or '06. He made it pretty clear that his fentanyl OD in '03 that put him in a coma was NOT accidental, as I had assumed it was. PhreeX knew as much as anyone about opioids and how to use them safely. On the other hand, fentanyl certainly causes a lot of accidental overdoses (especially when IVd). I wish I still had those PMs...I deleted them and most posts for privacy reasons years ago. I don't remember much else of what he said, although I think he said something to the extent of kind of wanting to get off opioids but having crippling chronic pain.

PhreeX was an unbelievably intelligent guy, and used his knowledge and experience to provide others with harm reduction methods. He saved people's lives...in an unconventional way, yes, but he saved lives nonetheless.

RIP PhreeX


----------



## alantis360

rip


----------



## StoneHappyMonday

The death of another BL'er (Carsick - EADD) brought me here. I can only apologize for not seeing this three months ago.

Absolutley loved his posts and his style.

RIP Phreex.


----------



## James.

Abrasive, irresponsible, fun, and like the rest of us, human. Rest well Dave.


----------



## HamOnRye

RIP PhreeX. Dude helped me with some issues I had preparing pharmaceuticals for I.V. a couple years ago and probably saved me from some serious health issues.


----------



## CuriousCub

Roger&Me said:


> Oh fuck man.
> 
> This hit me right in my gut.
> 
> RIP to a true legend.



it did the same to me..i can't believe this actually happened ....dave lived so recklessly i knew it was just a matter of time, but so soon??? wow...

what is up with all the deaths in 2009 of so many influential people in the media and here? i had a lot of death in my family these year too....


----------



## the_milkman

condolences...

it really hits close to home when something like this happens..  wishing the best for his friends and family.


----------



## Phreexmom

CuriousCub said:


> it did the same to me..i can't believe this actually happened ....dave lived so recklessly i knew it was just a matter of time, but so soon??? wow...
> 
> what is up with all the deaths in 2009 of so many influential people in the media and here? i had a lot of death in my family these year too....



for CuriousCub....
I am Phreexmom but I can't reply to PM's as I don't have bluelight status.  [EDIT by TLB - removed email addy].


----------



## Phreexmom

I appreciate any and all comments and testimonials of how David helped or befriended anyone.  I would like to pass on anonymously the message of pain and struggle and prejudice some of you, like David, faced in life which resulted in drug use of any kind, prescription or illegal...it doesn't matter...pain is pain.  Genetics and Environment play a role as well as personal choice, the first two factors are beyond a person's control.  It is time to stop blaming the victims in society.  If my David's life helped you, I would like to pass on your story anonymously to influential people.  Phreexmom. [Edit by TLB: Removed email addy]


----------



## plug in baby

Phreexmom said:


> I appreciate any and all comments and testimonials of how David helped or befriended anyone.  I would like to pass on anonymously the message of pain and struggle and prejudice some of you, like David, faced in life which resulted in drug use of any kind, prescription or illegal...it doesn't matter...pain is pain.  Genetics and Environment play a role as well as personal choice, the first two factors are beyond a person's control.  It is time to stop blaming the victims in society.  If my David's life helped you, I would like to pass on your story anonymously to influential people.  Phreexmom.  [Edit by TLB: Removed email addy]



Much  to you, Phreexmom and all of Dave's family and loved ones. God bless.


----------



## Harrisment

Wow, I just saw this. 

I've been on BL forever and PhreeX was someone I really looked up to.  I loved his attitude and I loved that he was a wealth of knowledge.   You will be missed.  RIP Dave.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Whoa.


----------



## rikkitikkitavi

Wow...is this the same PhreeX from a.d.h   ....as in....BANG METH?

What a character....RIP


----------



## oohcow

This man is one of my heroes.

He inspired me to join bluelight

He saved my life when i was injecting various substances

His posts about meth psychosis would always be legendary

I agree with Infinite Jest, This guy was suppose to be forever alive yo... Seriously

 a character that bluelight IS in itself!

RIP man... your life was fully lived, time to rest =)


----------



## tiktiktik

R.I.P. Phreex. Your posts saved me from some serious health problems, and moe so than that, a bad day. Take care, wherever your soul may be. May you find the peace we all seek in drugs.


----------



## previouslyhere

whoa...shit... had no idea...

RIP 

I used to post on here a lot more than I do now back in 2000-2001 with another name and used to love reading PhreeX's posts. He had some real crazy, funny ass stories that I actually tried searching for through the archive the other day. I kind of miss that timeperiod 2000-2001 and definitely miss the bluelight from back then. PhreeX made it what it was. When I first came on here back then I thought dude was running the site I seen so many of his posts. Didnt know him at all but i enjoyed his posts and he is one of the names from here that stick out to me. RIP


----------



## LivingOnValium

Can't believe this has happened..  PhreeX's unique style of moderating OD was the reason i decided to register to BlueLight back in 2002. At the time my screen name was benzo-messiah. I just found his anrgy outbursts towards (people he thought were) douchebags to be hilarious.  I always looked up to him. His best posts have an amazing entrtainment value.

I never knew him but out of all bluelighters but i wish i had...  
Well, It's too late now.

Rest in peace man. You will missed and remembered.


----------



## Thyme

2 very manly tears have been shed

rip


----------



## FiatFlux

i just found out about this today... fucking gutting. absolute ratshit. rip dave.


----------



## jeah

proof the good die young b/c they have figured out the universal answer.

RIP Dave.


----------



## EloquentScream

I'd heard ... but I didn't really know if it was true.
After his last big, and I mean really big OD, I was in a hole over it. He and I got along very, very well. 
I was discussing him with a friend who'd never been on BL the other day, which was the catalyst for my login today. 

PhreexMom, I'll be in touch. Thank you for creating an account so we can share David's legacy.


----------



## Rexeh

I have been registered here since 2001 however lost the login details, I have nothing else than respect for him but never knew him personally. I just wish to express my condoleances and hope his contribution to this community will be remembered in a good way. 

My respects to you and Rest In Peace 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			
		
		
	


	




 -- Respect


----------



## twgburst

I'm just now reading this for the first time.  Phreex really knew his shit, and was a really important member here.  I remember when he ODed the one time and his sister was posting on here several years back.  Its sad to see people waste their lives being strung out, at least he doesn't have to deal with the pain anymore.  RIP man, thanks for teaching me and many others.


----------



## Smyth

Are u sure he is dead? Several pages ago a guy said that he faked his death to get attention?


----------



## Phreexmom

*Yes, my David (Phreex) is dead*

I saw many of the past posts, and David's last posts and IM's stating he would 'stage his suicide' that night.  He got his monthly prescriptions filled the next day and OD'd for real here at home.  My son is gone.


----------



## Mad Dash

Wow... just came across this thread. I don't know what to say. 

Dave you will be missed, I will never forget the times we got to hang out, the limitless information you shared with me. The mind blowing discussions we would have of the universe changed my perception of a great many things. 

I feel so bad that I cut off contact with you, I needed to get clean and it just wasn't working staying friends with you or anyone else. I never forgot about you and I wish I had not stopped talking.

If our discussions on the afterlife held any truth then you are in a better place right now.


----------



## Wizzle

This is really a shame.. I have no emotional connection but I do remember the posts about meth psychosis, that stuff was funnier than fear and loathing in LV.


----------



## Vaque

I can't beleive i found out so late that Phreex has died  

R.I.P

He was indeed an excellent writer


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## onetwothreefour

Jesus.

I check this forum each time I check back on BL, and I always hope I don't see any new names. Weirdly, I didn't expect to see PhreeX's name. A weird kind of denial. A little like his, I guess.

Whatever anyone thinks of his drug (ab)use, he was a very generous guy. The world needs more of them, not less.


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## Phreexmom

Psalms 69:20.  “I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none”.

Parents and David requested 4 Christian ministers and numerous relatives for drug counseling, friendship and help for years.  None responded.
June, 2009: Parents request State of Florida Dept. of Children and Families Adult Protective Services investigate abuse of David by drug pushers at his apartment, as David was disabled. Protective Services recommended 'no services'. 
July 6, 2009: Volusia County Sheriff ordered parents to turn over all prescription drugs to David or go to jail.  David had previously requested his parents keep drugs at our home to give as prescribed.
July 7, 2009: David overdosed, hospitalized in coma. Doctors promised to Marchman Act..... Parents filed Citizens Complaint on Sheriffs prior actions which endangered David...
July 8, 2009: Parents petition court for involuntary Baker Act of David...judge 'denied' petition, stating David was a patient in Fish Memorial Hospital and not likely to suffer from neglect.
July 10, 2009: Hospital released David to home instead of Marchman Acting.
July 14, 2009: David overdosed, hospitalized, Marchman Act again assured to parents.
July 15, 2009: David released to home instead of Marchman Acting.
August 27, 2009: David overdosed at home. EMT's did not intibate, do CPR, give Narcan, cool body. ER revived heart rate, maintained for only 3 minutes then discontinued medicines 'per protocal'. David died before midnight.  The Coroner ruled it an ‘accidental overdose’.


----------



## MMMMKAY?!

Rest in peace....mmmkay...


----------



## TJ5

Another one . RIP. I remember his name 
from when I first joined in 2002. 2 bad I
have 2c another BLer gone.


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## Heineken4u

I used to be a regular here at Bluelight... I don't post anymore, but will check up on things from year to year.  Phreex was a great poster, great member of Bluelight.  Take care Phreex, rest in peace.


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## Legerity

I didn't know him personally, but when I was a member here years back I would always find his posts informative and entertaining.  It's a shame that he had to go, hopefully he is now at peace.


----------



## DoctorShop

I will never forget reading his posts.

Rest in Peace.


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## Cyc

A truly gifted writer.


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## plug in baby

.


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## oc3anide

I found Bluelight a year after I started using MDMA (probably 1998...) and was active for several years before work and other commitments took over... I believe I stopped frequenting this community sometime 2005/6. Having returned, I am just shocked and saddened to hear that one of the few people who left such a great impression on me is gone, I remember looking forward to his posts so very much. Phreex you are truly missed.

To David's family: my love and thoughts are with you and I hope you find inner peace. Your son was special to many, it's truly amazing how memories and condolences are still pouring in, even now... I know my brother will be shocked to hear this as well, as he also remembers Phreex from the same era (early-2000s).


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## stinkfoot

*i wish i could have met him*

some1 should post some photos of him.


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## Phreexmom

*photos of Phreex..my son, David*

David has a Memorial account on Facebook.  It is titled the David V. Lanier Memorial.  I invite any of you to 'friend' this to see photos and tributes to my precious son, David.  See his definition of Christmas at age 10, that of a time of "giving, not receiving...."  He was the kindest person I know...and that made him vulnerable.  He had physical ailments...and that made him weak and sickly.  He had to live with a sick father (MS), and in a 'sick' society that does not help those who need help most....but rather makes 'fun' of them.  My efforts to obtain help for him were met with threats to me of jail, losing custody of my children, being called 'crazy' by David's abusers so no trouble or expense would need to be spent on him.  There was nothing 'wrong' with David, only with the society that did not recognize and accept a truly loving, sensitive soul.  He finally reacted to ridicule with isolation and drugs.  He was wrong to think that HE was the problem or that HE had a problem.  Society is the problem.  Religious arrogance and unrealistic demands on the sick is the vehicle of abuse.


----------



## specialspack

Another person who doesn't post here regularly anymore, and only just found this out. Phreex's posts, his stories and acid tongue were a constant delight and inspiration for me when I started out reading BL. Like oc3anide, he made a deep impression on me.

Deepest sympathies to his family.

RIP.


----------



## Phreexmom

*Missing David........*

I miss you so much, Precious David.  Mama


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## panic in paradise

he has been in my thoughts since first coming here, and surely will remain as long as BL does in my heart.
and i believe that it will honestly always be.


please tell me you have found some peace...
i cant imagine your pain, but know for a fact, that even if overwhelming pain is guaranteed forever,,, peace, a different sort of appreciation for life, and a unique strength does arrive with this sort of realization/experience...


it is very humbling and touching to see you here, sharing the love he is.
he had a rough and cunning exterior here, but i deeply believe no one choses such depths with addiction, for fun...? 

no - it is as you said

not all society is cruel though, thats the human part
of it. but, i get what you are saying and its people like YOU, who are in society as well; but dont have the $$$™ , or organized numbers with centuries of practice.

its starting to crumble though, the same mid-evil hierarchy that is still in command.
when it finally does, society will become civilization -
for people such as you and your son.


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## Phreexmom

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.  David put up a rough, offensive exterior to hide the pain he was feeling.  It was his defense against being hurt more than he had been all his life.  Only I, his mother, could see the 'real' David since his difficult, distressed birth and childhood so I understood his pain and loved him unconditionally.  He was really the kindest person I know.


----------



## *KANE*

Wow I logged on for the first time in a while looking to say hi to him and he's gone? and I remember '03. Anyway I last heard from him early 2009 and it just became '11. He saved my life as far as im concerned and gave me some good advice. RIP.


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## Syd_Barret

Thanks for posting that @phreexmom.

I can only imagine what you went through as a mother.
condolences.


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## villian

> There was nothing 'wrong' with David, only with the society that did not recognize and accept a truly loving, sensitive soul.



very true


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## Nexus298

I can't believe I haven't heard about this. I grew up reading Bluelight and know of the intelligent people on here, He was definitely a name I would listen to if he made a remark. One of the Bluelight elite no doubt. Drugs kill people, cars kill people, Food kills people, But we can't/shouldn't turn away from the benefits that encompass all three and out way the risks. RIP Phreex another good soul lost to the game. But that's the price of the benefits of drug use. Sad but true.


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## Phreexmom

There are two websites and groups to help those who have lost a loved one to drug or substance use, and to inform and improve drug treatments, support user's and their families, and encourage research.  The first is www.grasphelp.org and the second is www.broken-no-more.org


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## Light of RA

*David/PhreeX*

Dear Blue-Lighters,

It has taken me a long time to post as I have been grieving for almost 2 years and have also kicked a Dillaudid/Oxycontin/Phentanyl addiction.

I miss Dave dearly. Dave and I were partners and friends for almost 5 years. The last 18 months being rough b/c by the end of our relationship b/c I had managed to get myself hooked as well. I couldn't stand watching him die and wanted to die with him. 

I know many of you loved him, and many of you hated him. He was what he was, and yeah, he was a bit of a genius. 

This is the last picture I have of Dave from 08-09.

I miss him dearly. He will always be part of my heart and soul, and I will always send light to him and one day hope to meet him on the other-side.

Anyway....
If anyone wants to talk or know any details, please email me at MysticalMelanie@gmail.com

     Peace, Love, Illumination..........

--M. Wilson


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## Phreexmom

I would always like to learn of any information about my Precious David and his life, good or 'bad', it does not matter to me.  I love him unconditionally.  Anyone who wants to send information can email or message me at his memorial Facebook page, David V. Lanier Memorial.


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## Phreexmom

a photo of David in 2007


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## Phreexmom

David's Virtual Memorial Website linkhttp://www.virtual-memorials.com/main.php?action=view&mem_id=21505&page_no=1


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## Phreexmom

a link to opiate treatment....[removed at request]


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## Phreexmom

I wish my precious David had made it to the Other Side of Addiction to live....he was so smart and had so much to offer to benefit society if he had the courage and support and self-confidence he had longed for all his life, from someone other than his mother......     Here is a video of a young man who got sober in prison.  I do not support punitive measures toward drug users, they are usually already victims for most of their life, thus the drug use.  However, if they are given counseling, medical treatment, drug withdrawal assistance and medication in prison, taught a skill or given an education, assisted with job placement upon release.....prison could be a good 'time out'.....and rehab facility....since society will not pay for drug rehab any other way.........http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdVbO6n03Kc&feature=share   Bless you all.....  visit www.grasphelp.org to see what losing a loved one to death by drugs does to the family members left behind...alone...forever....


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## Phreexmom

Please watch Real Time with Bill Maher tonight on HBO at 10pm U.S Eastern Time.  There is to be a speaker regarding Harm Reduction and saving lives of 'Addicts' and providing compassionate, scientific, up to date medical care....as opposed to just punitive criminal actions.....


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## Phreexmom

I have completed, for now, a Memorial to my most precious David, Phreex as you knew him.    Please visit  http://www.virtual-memorials.com/main.php?action=view&mem_id=21505&page_no=1   and view the 5 pages with music, photos, words, poems...memories.  Thank You.  Phreex Mom


----------



## Phreexmom

Phreex, David, my precious son, often talked to me about 'Harm Reduction'.  I did not understand drug issues as they were back in the 1990's and 2000's.  I just responded that drug users should 'just stop using'.  I have learned much since then.  David was a pioneer in promoting Harm Reduction here on Bluelight, and among his friends and family.  He did survive several overdoses due to my alertness and quick actions.  However, in July 2009 the hospital cancelled all protective measures and denied all my requests for help in assisting David to deal with his DISEASE of Addiction.  David died one month later when he overdosed at home, 911 was called.  The sheriff arrived FIRST, was given erroneous information by my sick husband, and the sheriff then DELAYED the EMT's in the front of the house as David lay in the bedroom where I was screaming for help.  The EMT station is two blocks from our house.  The EMT's walked slowly, finally, to the bedroom.  They had brought in to the house NO equipment, NO Narcan, NO oxygen, NO Intibation equipment, NO heart shock equipment, NO IV's, not even the gurney which was kept OUTSIDE the front door.  I screamed and pounded on my closet door for them to save David as they lay him on the livingroom floor and simply put an oxygen tube in his nostrils...nothing more.  The Sheriff yelled at ME to 'settle down'....and no one did anything to save David.  The ER doctors did intibate David and start IV's, heart shock, etc. but ofcourse by then it was too late....just as they knew it would be.  This was Manslaughter.  Fortunately, 'Harm Reduction' has now gone 'mainstream' on many websites and organizations, like www.broken-no-more.org and www.harmreduction.org , but David and I know that Harm Reduction started here on Bluelight, at least as far as we know.  The US has fallen behind in many areas, this is just one of them.  Bless you all.  Phreex Mom


----------



## nuke

Hi PhreeXmom,

Thank you for your kind words and your deep understanding of the issue at hand here.

If you are currently supporting harm reduction and are not yet aware of the New York State naloxone program, here is a link:
http://www.health.state.ny.us/diseases/aids/harm_reduction/opioidprevention/index.htm

It allows persons to possess and administer naloxone who are not healthcare professionals.  I think that every parent of a child who has opioid abuse problems she be allowed to possess naloxone to prevent deaths like these from occurring.  If your state does not have such programs, it may be good to write to your local or state government in support of such measures.  It saved the life of one of my personal friends several times.

RIP PhreeX, it's sad without you!


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## Phreexmom

Thank you for the link.  I will pass it on to several other Harm Reduction websites I am familiar with.  I emailed my state representative to see if this is available in Florida.  I will visit your  Advanced Drug Discussion Studies and Harm Reduction threads and website as well and refer other to them.  
.....all for David.....


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## Phreexmom

AUGUST 27, 2011 IS THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOST PRECIOUS SON, DAVID LANIER'S, PASSING FROM MY ARMS, AND FROM EARTH.  PLEASE VISIT HIS MEMORIAL WEBSITE AT http://www.virtual-memorials.com/main.php?action=view&mem_id=21505&page_no=1 AND SIGN THE 'GUEST BOOK' AND VIEW THE STORY OF HIS LIFE OF LOVE, OF GIVING, AND OF BEING MY PRIDE AND JOY, MY MOST PRECIOUS SON.  THANK YOU.  DAVID LANIER'S MOTHER, PHREEXMOM
"1.  PhreeX  22 up, 8 down 
 A person who is creatively different from mainstream, conservative society and is therefore made to feel unloved and unwanted despite their great intellect and love for others. Someone too kind and sweet for this cruel world.
The PhreeX were at Woodstock and Raves"   http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=phreex


----------



## Phreexmom

*Emergency Medical Personnel's Failure to TRY to save Phreex's life...*

Sheriff just stopped by to give report on my internal affairs issue with no action taken after my 911 call the night David died. EMT's and Sheriff's records recorded that the EMTs did CPR immediately, they NEVER DID. They simply asked if they should put David in the black body bag in the house or in the ambulance. They decided on the ambulance. The times, sequence, and actions on the reports were lies.....I know....I was there ALONE with David for a good 10 minutes. Sheriffs records said EMTs arrived in 7 minutes after called. They just simply lied about everything except the body bag.....they came prepared for one thing only....to take David's dead body away.  The Fire Chief still will not release the EMTs records to me or the Sheriff, he 'said'.....only one reason for that is possible....to cover up their incorrect and heartless actions.       CYA authorities, no surprise there.......MY RESPONSE TO THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE.....
Chief Deputy William R. Lee
Law Enforcement Services - Support Services
P.O. Box 569
Deland, Florida 32721-0569

Dear Officer Lee:

The Sheriff from your office just stopped by our home to give the ‘resolution’ on my internal affairs issue regarding no LIFE SAVING actions being taken after my 911 call the night my son, David Lanier, died, August 27, 2009. The Sheriff's records recorded that the EMTs arrived 7 minutes after our 911 call, they DID NOT ARRIVE THAT QUICKLY. The Sheriff’s records stated the EMTs did CPR immediately, they NEVER DID ANYTHING, NO LIVE SAVING MEASURES WERE TAKEN. I was with my son every minute. They simply asked if they should put David in the black body bag in the house or in the ambulance. They decided on the ambulance. The times, sequence, and actions on the reports were LIES.....I know....I was there ALONE with David for a good 10 minutes before EMTs arrived after being called. The EMTs, the Sheriff and my husband stood in the living room talking only about WHEN to put David in the ‘body bag’. They just simply lied about everything except the body bag.....they came prepared for one thing only....to take David's dead body away. The Fire Chief still will not release the EMTs records to me or the Sheriff, the Sheriff 'said'.....only one reason for that is possible....to cover up their errors, incorrect and heartless actions which constitute MANSLAUGHTER OF MY SON.

The Sheriff ended our conversation by saying, "David is dead and gone and you're never going to see him again". NICE. Like I hadn't figured that out already..... The issue was the Sheriff’s and EMT's actions two years ago, not David's current location now!! Sick people on strong medicines and narcotics will occasionally accidentally overdose, and a limit of 6 overdoses should not be imposed on such victims of pain management. The sheriff had the medical records from the hospital and knew David had a history of overdosing on prescription medicine. That is no different than a diabetic taking too much insulin and having a seizure and needing instant sugar, or taking too little insulin and going in to diabetic coma....it is all MEDICAL COMPLICATIONS of an illness. Only in my David's case the Law Enforcement Officers and EMTs 'decided' that 6 times was enough, they made no effort to save him but rather stood in the living room debating when to bring in the 'body bag'.

Change is needed in Law Enforcement and EMTs’ treatment of sick and less fortunate individuals and victims, which includes ‘Addicts‘, ‘drug users‘, and ‘chemically dependent‘ SICK people. In this case EMTs and Law Enforcement IGNORED the MEDICAL needs of MY SON, and that is MANSLAUGHTER. When an adult, or child, is an Accident Victim by any other means than ‘drugs’, their life is saved and they are cared for. When the Accident Victim is a ‘drug overdose’, they are treated like a criminal when they are actually just as innocent and deserving of ALL medical intervention necessary and possible. My Son was given NONE. Your Sheriff’s report was filled with LIES, from the TIME of arrival of the EMTs and Sheriff, to the statement that the EMTs did CPR…..they DID NOT. I was with my son the whole time. NO ONE DID ANYTHING EXCEPT ME. I did chest compressions, alone, from the time I found David until the EMT’s simply carried him to the floor of the living room, debated when to bring in the ‘body bag’, and then carried him outside to the gurney to take him to the ambulance to THEN place him in the ‘body bag’….no life saving actions were taken, no medical intervention was attempted by the EMT’s. The HOSPITAL RECORDS revealed that only THEN, when David was in the Emergency Room, was intubation started and Narcan, an Opiate inhibitor, was administered, as well as medicine and shock to start David’s heart…..and IT DID START AND HE DID GET AIR and there was brain activity…..only AFTER reaching the hospital….NOT at the house nor even in the ambulance was this done as it should have been. The Emergency Room kept David on life support only 3 minutes, “per protocol” they charted. By this time, due to the inaction of the EMTs, David’s heart was too weak to survive. The Hospital said David had NOT signed a DNR during his previous admissions the month before, therefore there was NO EXCUSE for inaction to save his life by the EMTs and the Sheriff present at the scene. This IS the Sheriff’s Office’s responsibility to oversee because this constitutes MANSLAUGHTER. A member of a Law Enforcement or EMTs family would never be treated this way, would they ?

Jean Lanier


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## Pegasus

^Sorry to hear that...  There is a very unhealthy attitude toward drug use in this country, I agree.  It seems that people try to sweep the issue under the rug even though this clearly does not work.  Times are changing though, and hopefully this attitude changes with it.


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## Phreexmom

Below is a link to a 'Group' I set up consolidating all the links regarding Phreex, David's, life and death.  Feel free to join the group or 'Friend' his Facebook Account, and also leave a message on the Virtual Memorial Guest Book Page....now all in one location.  Thank you.  Phreexmom forever 

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/groups/157433221000743/


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## jerzeezfinest

Wow.  I haven't logged in for several years...  and my heart dropped a bit just now.  RIP David


----------



## Phreexmom

http://www.harmreduction.org   I have come across the Harm Reduction website in New York and California.  I think they are starting one in the South Eastern US as well.  They also have a Facebook Page.  Also there is a website and Facebook Page for "I'm Proof, Naloxone Works".  I only wish I had known more before 2008 and 2009.  http://www.facebook.com/HarmReductionCoalition , http://www.facebook.com/NaloxoneWorks


----------



## chinky

i know this sound a little harsh..phreex was a great dude..one of the best on this site but did you ever think about gettin narcan yourself? with him over doseing 5x  previous not you or dave himself had any narcan in the house?

i dont use iv drugs and have never overdosed but if i did use iv drugs and my family knew it...narcan would be somthing that i would have a supply of..maybe in florida your not allowed to have it or somthing i dont know..i just read your post about the police basically not doing anything to help and it got me wondering..i cant see the emts just sitting there doing nothing especailly when something like narcan literlly brings people back from the dead..even if they thought he was dead when they got there, that should have been the first thing they did regardless


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## Phreexmom

Yes, Chinky, David told me about Narcan being available in Europe, and in NY in some 'special test programs' for 'street drug' users.  It was not, and it still IS NOT available without prescription in Florida, and the Pain Doctors WILL NOT write prescriptions for it.  I have become aware of websites like Harm Reduction, listed in the post above yours.  Also, I just became aware of the action at www.viennadeclaration.com to legalize drugs to stop the crime, wasted money and resources (ofcourse the money is what Corrections corporations and Law Enforcement and Government employees want).  I am not, and have never been in favor of any drug use, I never even tried Marijuana or any drugs.  I was raised in an ultra conservative Baptist, abusive, Midwest home and church, so David was my first exposure to 'the drug world'.  Please excuse my ignorance, but I have paid the ultimate price, and I could not stop my David, I tried for 12 years as did the rest of my family, somewhat.  I suffered with David every time he went through withdrawal, overdose, recovery, disability, pain.....and I will always relive his sufferings due to drugs, and due to the cruelty of his peers, clergy, church members, 'friends', family, society, law enforcement, doctors, and yes, EMTs who DID NOTHING until they were sure he was DEAD.  I have saved David and his Dad's (Multiple Sclerosis) life at least 8 times each...I know what should have been done by the EMTs.  They came in EMPTY HANDED, not even a gurney....his death was predetermined by them even though the Hospital told me David did NOT sign a DNR the month before.  The doctors here will not prescribe Narcan to Opiate Pain patients, I am canvasing them even today to learn more about this issue.  The leaders at Harm Reduction have told me that Narcan is NOT available to Pain patients anywhere in the US but that it is available to a few special projects for 'street drug' users in New York, California, a pilot program in North Carolina, and one at Ft. Bragg Military base, but no other Pain doctors can prescribe Narcan to Opiate Pain patients yet in the US.  Harm Reduction informed me that there is still no way to get regular Pain doctors to prescribe Narcan now in 2011, and certainly there was no way in 2009. Most likely the Pharmaceutical companies that make Narcan are not willing to pay doctors and clinics to 'push' their drugs, so it is not available as Pain Medication prescriptions are at 'Pain clinics'.   It always comes down to Money.....      Proud to be Phreexmom


----------



## Pegasus

^Antagonists are really only useful to someone other than the person taking the opiate as they will be unconscious if it needs to be administered.  Maybe it would be useful for those that have someone watching over them at all times, but in many cases first responders will be the first people able to administer the drug.


----------



## Phreexmom

Yes, the Narcan would have to be administered by me or some else at home, but Narcan was not, and still is not, prescribed by doctors in Florida.  It is limited to hospital and EMT use.  That is why I was so shocked when, this time, the EMTs came in empty-handed, and delayed coming to David's room, as I was screaming for them to come help me and give him Narcan....they never did.  The Hospital did administer all life-saving measures and drugs, but it was too late by then, as the Sheriff and EMTs knew it would be.....   David spoke of Narcan to his pain doctor and told me about it, but we could not get a prescription for it, still can't in Florida or anywhere unless you are in a special program like NY, CA, and NC have.


----------



## totach

Hi David's mom,
First i would like to say to you what almost evreyone else says that you are a great amazing and caring mother.
Im sure david looks down on you and guards you and is very happy and proud to have a mom like you.
That being said.Im from NY and i happened to watch a documentary on tv called the oxycontin express.basically it was about a program in florida for parents of young addicts and basically they give all the parents a couple shots of preped ready to use narcan without a prescription or anything.
I just wanted to mention that since i read how you just said that it is still not available in florida.It is very available pretty much to the point where they want to give it to you im sure you would be a great advocate for that program.
Im sorry for your loss and wish you only happinies in the future.


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## Phreexmom

I just got the email about your post, totach.  Thank you for the information.  Perhaps Florida has changed since my son died in August 2009, I don't know.  I was going to call the pain clinics and doctors since that is where my son got his Fentynal and diazepam.  I have not heard of this program of giving narcan to parents of addicts, but that would be great.  I would hope they would also give it to those who get their 'drug' from doctors....since many, many, maybe even most people in Florida had been getting their drugs that way in 2009.  I will search for this TV documentary and the program you mentioned and post it on my Facebook page and David's memorial Account on Facebook and places where I try to help others with the disease of Addiction.  Thank you.  Phreex Mom


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## Phreexmom

Today, August 26, would have been David's (Phreex) 32nd birthday.  Tomorrow, August 27, is the  day 2 years after he died of an overdose of his Fentynal and Diazepam prescription drugs.  Please visit these websites if you wish to learn more about David, or leave a message in the Guest book of his Virtual Memorial which consists of 5 pages with music, plus the Guest Book page.  I love and miss you David.  Momma  http://www.virtual-memorials.com/main.php?action=slideshow2&mem_id=21505 http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=155615771183462 http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=155615771183462#!/groups/157433221000743/     Thank you, Phreexmom


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## severely etarded

Very, very sorry for your loss ma'am. You have my sincerest condolences and sympathy. I could never imagine being a parent of a child and losing them.


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## Samadhi

I just think it's so wonderful that you're posting on here, Jean - it shows such intestinal fortitude and strength. It also gives phreeX another face, other than the online persona he had here. I feel that i've gotten to know him so much better through being a member of your facebook page.

You and phreeX have been in my thoughts over the last couple of days. I would have posted yesterday (it's a day later in Australia) but i'd had surgery myself so wasn't in much of a fit state to post anything, but I just wanted to say thank you again for posting the information you have, hopefully seeing first-hand, the pain that a loved-one goes through due to a drug overdose might change just one persons mind-set. 

Much love to you, Katrisse.


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## Phreexmom

*Thank you Katrisse,*

Thank you for the kind words.  David was the kindest, sweetest person in the world.  I miss him very much.  Phreexmom


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## Phreexmom

Thank you , 'severely etarded' for your kind words.  David was very kind and giving...too much so.  Phreexmom


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## Chalice

Off into the good night - RIP


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## Phreexmom

http://www.facebook.com/groups/157433221000743/   This is the link to Phreex's, David's, Facebook Group page I will let anyone join.  I consolidated all his other links and memorials at this Group page site.  I miss David so much.  Now that it is 'pumpkin weather' here in Florida....cold at night, cool during the day....I remember how the kids loved Halloween, getting pumpkins and carving their very own the way they wanted to, the costumes, treats, parties.  David made a fantastic display at the local Haunted House one year when he was in Junior Hi.  He had strobe lights, music, animated figures, fog machine effects, scary sounds....it was great...   He really was a genius that never got to shine as brightly as he could, nor was recognized for his creativity, kindness and intelligence.  He was shunned because he was 'different'.  Yes, he was better than the rest of us, I knew it, he knew it, but others hated him for it and hated me for standing up for him all his life.  I miss him so much....PhreexMom


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## Phreexmom

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150438787266000&set=o.157433221000743&type=1&theater    Around 1986, David and his sister carving their own pumpkins they had chosen from the pumpkin patch for Halloween.  I love and miss you, David....


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## herbavore

From one brokenhearted mom to another, all my love and all my support


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## Phreexmom

*Thank you, Herbavore..*

Thank you for the kind wishes. If you ever want to talk about our kids and our loss, you can private message me here on Bluelight, or 'friend' me on Facebook at David's Memorial account at  http://www.facebook.com/davidv.laniermemorial   or on his Memorial Group page at http://www.facebook.com/groups/157433221000743/   .  Take care....Jean Lanier


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## ykm420

You're a brave woman, it breaks my heart to read your post(s) and find out what happened to your son and the actions that were NOT taken to save his life.. There are twisted people in this world, I can't imagine.. My  goes out to you and your family, RIP Dave.


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## Phreexmom

*Thank you*

Thank you for your kind words.  I am still in shock and anger over all that was done, and not done, that hurt and killed my David.  This is the    way he was treated all his life by kids, family, 'friends', teachers, doctors, counselors....no one but me understood his limitations and believed he was doing 'his best'.   People should never judge what other people 'should be doing' or 'are able to do'.   People can have limitations that do not show up on tests and observations.  We need to loved and accept people as they are, for what they say they can do.  If they are 'faking' disability then they will eventually give up the pretense and perform as they should.  If they are not 'faking' disability....they will consistently exhibit their lack of abilities.  People were so mean to David, it breaks my heart daily....I will never 'get over'  this.   David loved me and understood me like no one else did, we were very much alike, and I am proud of that....


----------



## Phreexmom

Here are some links to websites that might be helpful to some.  I miss my David (Phreex) very, very much each day.  He was loving, kind, smart, sensitive, and too good for this world.  I love you and miss you David.  Momma ... Phreexmom

http://www.thetreatmentcenter.com/a...ox&ad_type=b&gclid=CPmyoe2I06wCFRIr7Aod2kekOw

http://www.addictioncareoptions.com/drug-help/drug-treatment?gclid=CN_OgYKI06wCFcya7Qodomb6qw

http://teenchallengeusa.com/

http://sites.google.com/site/nomadoverdoseproject/home


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## Samadhi

I love that we have connected on Facebook, phreexmom  Getting to know David through you, and you in the process, has been really lovely. I hope you and A had a special Christmas together  Let's hope 2012 brings about more understanding of the issues close to your heart


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## Phreexmom

*Happy New Year to all*

Thank you for the kind words, Samadhi, and everyone.  I hope all of you have a good 2012 and that any challenges you face will be overcome by your strength of will and determination and work.  It means a lot to me to hear from and have the support of you who understand my David and what he lived, and died with.  Perhaps you also understand the stigma that is unfairly aimed at those with problems.  Just know that the problem is not you, it is society, in many cases.  Be strong, Never give up, you are valuable, you are loved.....     For you, David.  love, Momma xoxoxox


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## Gaz_hmmmm

I can't beleve he's dead. I remember him being in a coma in 2003. I lso have spoken to him in the past. He will be missed. :-(


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## dsf

*David's Mom:  Have you considered action against the EMTs / Chief?*

I just happened across this by chance, and while deeply saddened and shocked by it, I think if any of us said we didn't see it coming, we were in denial. He lived life as he saw fit, and no one can fault him for it as it was his to live. HOWEVER; we can have our opinions, and unfortunately, some of his choices turned out to be pretty selfish 

I'm an old-school Bluelighter... Forget what name I used to have on here... That was so long ago. I met PhreeX on BL (he may have been the reason I joined) and talked to him a few times... Also helped him out with some problem he was having on his members only website (I forget all the details of the site, etc... I wish I could remember all of this) that he eventually started.

He was always a really nice guy and very helpful from what I remember...

One thing I don't recall is PhreeX being an ass as some have stated. I'm not saying he wasn't, I just never saw that side of him. The few times he and I chatted, he was nothing but down-to-earth and respectful. I never really paid much attention to how he spoke to some on here, but judging just off of my limited interactions with PhreeX, I get the impression that if he was rude to them, there was probably a reason for it (we all know the idiots who come on here and ask absolutely stupid questions, or give harmful advice, and make you just want to scream).




I'm surprised no one has mentioned TAoS (The Art of Scripting); perhaps the work which PhreeX was most famous for. His knowledge in that area helped me get small temporary scripts of weaker pain meds in times of legitimate medical need, due to excruciating jaw pain and migraines from severe TMJ (debilitating pain from a condition which was literally impossible to directly get even a 1 week script of narcotics for), as well as a couple of times after I herniated 2 discs in my back but wasn't going to pain management.

Sure, many people abused the knowledge, but that is one way in which David helped me personally without even knowing it... He saved me from a good bit of suffering honestly.






*Phreex's mom and sister;* I am very sorry for your loss. I genuinely feel for y'all... I can't imagine what the years have been like for you, both through his life and death. His actions were selfish and have obviously put you through untold torment, but he must have been suffering horribly... I never knew David had issues, honestly... Never talked to him enough. The few times I did talk to him, he seemed like a cheerful and intelligent care-free guy.



I do have a question for you, which I'll precede with this quote because it is relevant:




Phreexmom said:


> The Fire Chief still will not release the EMTs records to me or the Sheriff, he 'said'.....only one reason for that is possible....to cover up their incorrect and heartless actions.       CYA authorities, no surprise there.......


 

Have you ever thought about seeking legal action? If the level of willful neglect was truly as severe as stated, every guilty party should be made to answer...

Nothing you do can bring your son back, but perhaps it will keep another mother from losing her son.

I would seriously start making calls to some attorneys and make something happen. If the neglect was that prevalent, and no one has fessed up and even offered an apology or admission, then the idiots will likely do it again.




As far as the Fire Chief refusing to release records; file an FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) request... It is your legal right.
Better yet, speak with an attorney and have him uncover these records and many more in discovery then nail these heartless fucks to the wall for their intentional neglect.

I really think (if they knew David's past) that they chose to neglect to act based solely on past experiences, but when it comes to saving a fucking life, there is no choice to be made. You NEVER give up on a person just because they have a history of abuse; ESPECIALLY when giving up on them means potentially costing them their life.




All it takes is some phone calls, and no attorney will charge you a penny upfront if they decide to take the case. I'm not by any means trying to put words in your mouth or read your mind, but if you haven't done it because of the circumstances, please know that there is nothing dishonorable; nothing to be ashamed of about the situation...

David was obviously sick, and incapable of rational action at times. The EMTs / Police Chief, on the other hand, were completely capable of rational action (and even trained to perform said action), but willfully neglected to carry it out if your account is accurate.

To put it in perspective:
- David's lack of ABILITY to make a rational choice cost HIM his life...
- The EMTs / Chief's lack of WILLFULNESS to act cost DAVID his life.

HUGE difference there, and the only shameful part about this story is that these assholes were too incompetent or too damn lazy to do their job. How many more times will it happen?



I am by no means trying to tell you what to do, or to put you through any more hell than you have already had to endure... I just want to make it clear to you that you are completely and utterly justified in taking action here... In making the guilty parties pay for the action that they failed to take.


If you do decide to pursue it, it isn't too late... I'd start by calling attorneys who specialize in Medical Malpractice (long shot) or more likely Wrongful Death. Really, any Tort lawyer should be able to point you in the right direction. If you truly want to pursue it, pick up the phone and don't put it down until you've got a firm "YES". I guarantee you could find someone to take the case if everything went down like you've said.




I'll send you a PM with some contact info for me on the off chance that you would like some help, or just have any questions or need any support.



I truly do feel for you, and can't begin to imagine what you have gone through, and undoubtedly are still continuing to go through.  Whatever the future may hold, I wish you nothing but the best and I sincerely wish you the power to continue to have strength and acceptance and keep your head high. 


I apologize if I came across as a bit brash or blunt, but it hurts to see someone go through this, even if it is 2 years later, and even if it someone who I don't know.


----------



## Phreexmom

Thank you so much for your kind post, dsf.  I wish everyone could see through phreex, David's, 'tough exterior' to see he had a 'soft underbelly' and was very loving, good, kind, smart, thoughtful.  It has literally broken my heart, according to my cardiologist, all that has happened to David, especially finding him in his bed.  The trauma of that day has crippled me for life, and may well have ended my life as well as David's.  I am so glad that some one other than myself could see that David was very loveable, and cared about him.  I have tried lawyers and legal avenues but they would not take the case.  Society is ignorant, uncareing and undeserving of one as loving as my David, and myself and those like you who understand.  It is sad that we cannot change this attitude, but I fear it has always existed, and always will, and we who are loving, sensitive and weak will always fall prey to it...and end up dead...just as society desires.  Thank you for your kind words.  Keep fighting for your self worth and identity.  Phreexmom http://www.virtual-memorials.com/main.php?action=view&mem_id=21505&page_no=4


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## tricomb

Always remembered, never forgotten. RIP


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## Phreexmom

*My Precious Son*

Thank you for remembering my David, everyone.  It means a lot to me.  All of my family, 'friends', and 'nice Christian people' have only continued to criticize David, just as they did when he was alive.  David was right about so many things, he was ahead of his time regarding Harm Reduction, legalizing drugs, changing society to prevent some causes of drug use.....like prejudice, poverty, ignorance.  "All land is God's land, All people are God's people" (if you believe in God).


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## lilczey

wow really

R.I.P


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## Dread calm

PhreeX was (still is) a legend. It was reading his information where i learned pretty much everything i needed to know about HR. I think the circumstances surrounding that fateful day are disgusting, and i hope you get justice. So sorry for your family's loss. May Davids input on BL live on and help many lives for many generations. Much love RIP


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## Lady_Phae

I haven't been on this forum since 2004, when I had a different account.  I remember Phreex, his insightfullness and honesty.  I recommended a friend to chat with him when her husband wanted to taper off his fentayl and methadone. I came back because I still struggle and hope to find honest connections here.

RIP Phreex.  If you see my dad, please do have a bevvie with him, he'd like you


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## EloquentScream

I despise that he isn't on my AIM list anymore. His non-sequiturs put mine to shame.


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## EloquentScream

Phreexmom said:


> Thank you for remembering my David, everyone.  It means a lot to me.  All of my family, 'friends', and 'nice Christian people' have only continued to criticize David, just as they did when he was alive.  David was right about so many things, he was ahead of his time regarding Harm Reduction, legalizing drugs, changing society to prevent some causes of drug use.....like prejudice, poverty, ignorance.  "All land is God's land, All people are God's people" (if you believe in God).



I'm double-posting something awfully pertinent. 
He was ahead of his time, something he always knew. My life is better for having known him, lesser for not making more memories with him. All the love in the world to D's family and friends. 

"So we'll leave the ones who've hated
And we'll grieve the ones who didn't make it
And we'll breathe from what's created
All of our lives.."
- Saint by Ours/Jimmy Gnecco


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## Phreexmom

*Thank you for your nice post and email*



EloquentScream said:


> I'm double-posting something awfully pertinent.
> He was ahead of his time, something he always knew. My life is better for having known him, lesser for not making more memories with him. All the love in the world to D's family and friends.
> 
> "So we'll leave the ones who've hated
> And we'll grieve the ones who didn't make it
> And we'll breathe from what's created
> All of our lives.."
> - Saint by Ours/Jimmy Gnecco



Thank you for contacting me with your kind email, and for your kind posts here.  David, Phreex, was good, kind and loving.....a foreigner in this cruel land.


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## Serotonin101

My heart goes out the family and friends of David.  Reading up HR information a few years back and stumbled across MANY posts by PhreeX thus inspired me into joining BL and spreading the word of HR and practicing all I could read.  Much love to all of you  and I look forward to finally meeting you when I pass on.


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## Phreexmom

*thank you for the kind words*



Serotonin101 said:


> My heart goes out the family and friends of David.  Reading up HR information a few years back and stumbled across MANY posts by PhreeX thus inspired me into joining BL and spreading the word of HR and practicing all I could read.  Much love to all of you  and I look forward to finally meeting you when I pass on.



Thank you for taking the time and effort to reply with kind words.  David was a most kind and loving person.  He brought endless joy to my life for 30 years.  I miss him terribly.


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## Serotonin101

He lives on forever through bluelight, im sure im not the only one who can say his posts have saved my life many times over  and ill pay it forward for as long as i can and hopefully who i pass it onto will pay it forward, potentially saving/improving the lives of hundreds if not thousands. Its like we're his bluelight children, and eventually harm reduction will be more widespread, and deep down inside we know one of the pioneers who was able to make that a success, your incredible son.


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## Phreexmom

*David was right about so many things....*



Serotonin101 said:


> He lives on forever through bluelight, im sure im not the only one who can say his posts have saved my life many times over  and ill pay it forward for as long as i can and hopefully who i pass it onto will pay it forward, potentially saving/improving the lives of hundreds if not thousands. Its like we're his bluelight children, and eventually harm reduction will be more widespread, and deep down inside we know one of the pioneers who was able to make that a success, your incredible son.



Thank you.  David often spoke of how Ketamine, 'special K', and Ecstasy really relieved depression, where regular prescriptions did not.  Now, many scientific groups have verified this very thing and these two 'drugs' are being tested and used on patients now.  David was RIGHT, and they just called him a 'drug addict' whenever he spoke of such things.  I guess that makes all doctors, pharmacists, scientists and chemists 'drug addicts' as well.  You were right, David.  You knew exactly what you were talking about.


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## negrogesic

I knew Dave quite well (since 2001). I am proud to say that  together, Dave and I shaped a then fledgling forum (Other Drugs) into the beast it is today  I have a substantial amount of correspondence from Dave which i could gladly share upon request.


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## negrogesic

Oh, on a positive note, I myself was addicted to all the drugs that Dave had been abusing (particularly those to which he eventually led to his demise, fentanyl and diazepam), and despite having experienced the disasters and horrors inherent to opioid and benzo addiction, I have been able to effectively 'free' myself of opioid addiction. I dislike the AA approach to addiction, and as a result, have not counted the precise time when I became free of opioid addiction, but it has been a good 5 years. In my case, methadone maintenance (ultra high-dose) was instrumental to my escape, and with great freedom of dosing, I was able to gradually discontinue at my discretion. I am however, not at all religious or neurotic regarding my 'sobriety', and if I felt so inclined, I could take opioids. But since I no longer feel particularly inclined, and I am conscientious about my susceptibility to opioid dependency, I rarely find myself fooling with opioids. 

In other words, I once was a junkie, a fiend among fiends, and now I am not. I am now a somewhat boring professional, whose colleagues would be shocked to know that I used to 'shoot-up heroin' or "inject the unfiltered gel from duragesics", etc. 

The people who knew me back then expected that I was not long for this world, including your son.

On an trivial note, I have actually spoken to you (Dave's Mom) on the telephone, albeit incidentally and only in brief.


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## soundphaRm

Wow...damn Dave (PhreeX) will be sorely missed by those who knew him, those who are survived by him, and the worldwide harm-reduction community 
I don't usually frequent this area of BL...something told me to check it out, and I listen to instinct...this was why, I guess.
  Dave you must return as an avenging angel of the anti-drug war movement...or just rest for awhile...
  R.I.P. Dave...you will be very much missed...


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## soundphaRm

negrogesic said:


> I knew Dave quite well (since 2001). I am proud to say that  together, Dave and I shaped a then fledgling forum (Other Drugs) into the beast it is today  I have a substantial amount of correspondence from Dave which i could gladly share upon request.



This is so true..I stand to testify, and bear witness, that it was because of David and Negrogesic, I was drawn to the online HR movement...U guys made an incredible team! And undoubtedly saved many lives in the process...


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## Phreexmom

*David's legacy*



soundphaRm said:


> This is so true..I stand to testify, and bear witness, that it was because of David and Negrogesic, I was drawn to the online HR movement...U guys made an incredible team! And undoubtedly saved many lives in the process...



I am glad my son saved lives.  I only wish he could have saved his own.  He experienced many personal disappointments, and people like doctors, law enforcement, Adult Protective Services, apartment room mates, his sick (MS) father, judges, EMT's, etc. all failed to do even the least they could to save his life.  They all let him die when he could have been saved.  My cries for help went unheeded or even punished.  This is to let you all know that now days, this is the way American society treats 'drug addicts', even those on legitimate prescribed pain medication for legitimate, documented pain.  Take care of yourselves as no one else will, sad to say.  This is the world, or at least the country, we live in in the US.  I would appreciate any and all correspondence David wrote to anyone, no matter how 'dark' it might be.  You can email me here, or at geniebottle49@aol.com .


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## Phreexmom

Please do share any correspondence from David, no matter how 'dark' it might be.  You can email it to me here, or at geniebottle49@aol.com  Also There is a Facebook account called David V. Lanier Memorial, and I have a memorial group for David I could add your name to if you like.  You would need to 'friend' the Facebook account before I could add you to the group.  Thank you for your friendship with my precious David.


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## herbavore

Phreexmom


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## Phreexmom

*Thank you for the 'heart'felt message.  I really appreciate it.*



herbavore said:


> Phreexmom



This is the month my David was born, and the month he died.  I am trying now to remember the happy birthdays I had for him.  This month he 'will be' 33, so it is his 3rd birthday I will remember.  We had just moved from Washington state to Chicago area and knew no one.  So I invited the neighbors, young and old and we had the usual cake and ice cream and sherbert/punch drink I always made.  That was David's last birthday before his sister was born 6 months later.


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## stardust.hero

Phreexmom


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## herbavore

We share something else then---my son also lost his life in the same month he was born. We decided to always celebrate the birthday because that was and always will be cause for celebration; our sons were blessings! Marking the day they died is more private for me but it is a date that will never be the same. Do you have a picture from that birthday party? If so, and you feel like sharing, I would love to see it. I think three is one of the most magical ages.

Much love and understanding to you.


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## Phreexmom

*thank you*



stardust.hero said:


> Phreexmom



thank you for the heart


----------



## Phreexmom

herbavore said:


> We share something else then---my son also lost his life in the same month he was born. We decided to always celebrate the birthday because that was and always will be cause for celebration; our sons were blessings! Marking the day they died is more private for me but it is a date that will never be the same. Do you have a picture from that birthday party? If so, and you feel like sharing, I would love to see it. I think three is one of the most magical ages.
> 
> Much love and understanding to you.



I just looked at the albums the other day and found about 5 photos of David's 3rd birthday, but they are not online.  I have to use Walgreens photo to do so.  David had a 1/4 sheet cake, chocolate with buttercream icing, with a big picture of Big Bird, and the words, "Big Bird says 'happy 3rd birthday David'.  Sometimes I watch the kids shows we used to just to relive that time.  Each year I let the children choose the theme of their party, the flavor and decoration of their cake, what to do, where to go, who to invite, etc.  It was wonderful.  David wore a little green and white checked suit jacket, white shirt, green bow tie, and green slacks.  He looked so cute with his blonde hair and greenish-blue eyes.  I will just celebrate his birth and life...the 30 happiest years of my life with my little children.


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## herbavore

^That's a great description! I don't even need the picture. I can feel all the happiness in that memory.


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## belfort

i knew Phreez from way back..i remember talking to him a few times thru pms then he disappeared it seems..years later i remember making a thread asking where he was and it got deleted...i figured he moved on to greener pastures...then i read this and i cant say im shocked like everyone else..overdoses are common amongst us folks and it seems many of us have a certain type of death wish..

  RIP Phreex..


----------



## martin33

i used to be a member here under a different name, long ago.... at one point me and phreex had our own forum/site... more chemistry focused, as phreex and i shared an interest in drug chemistry, and organic chemistry in general. I used to talk to him for hours on messenger, hed calm me down and help me through situations as he was years older than i was. Anyways i miss him alot, RIP brotha


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## Phreexmom

herbavore said:


> ^That's a great description! I don't even need the picture. I can feel all the happiness in that memory.



Thank you.


----------



## Phreexmom

Thank you for writing.  I wish I knew more of what David was thinking and feeling during those dark days.  I am glad he had you and others here to talk to.


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## Phreexmom

David was very smart.  He also could see through all the phoneyness of the world and people, and he said so.  He spoke the truth.  He was ahead of his time on Harm Reduction and on the use of new chemicals/medicines like Ketamine and Ecstasy for legitimate medical use.....as they are now being used today.   I miss David's conversations and insight and intelligence very, very much.


----------



## plug in baby

to you, Phreexmom.


----------



## JosephTHeSequel

I fell off of the internet for a couple of years starting around 2006. Just randomly signed on here today for the first time in awhile. God fucking dammit man...


----------



## plug in baby

Wow...3 years gone 


R
I
P


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## Geodude

RIP PhreeX


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## Beefy

Oh wow! I remember coming on here and reading posts by Phreex when he was alive. just found this thread while looking for another old member who seems to also have left. 
R.I.P.


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## Al_S_Dee

I just found out about this.  I didn't know him but his stories and adventures made an impression on me...I still remember his stories of making X.  Truly a gifted writer.
RIP.


----------



## AlphaOdure

Heard about this from a friend i know off of bluelight & thought i'd pay my respects


----------



## Forget2Blink

I used to just read the threads before i became a member recently, and unfortunately i only heard of this now also. Reading your posts made me tear up. Rest in Peace Dave. I know that where ever you are, your free.


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## Phreexmom

The AOL Email account I set up in David's name has froze me out until I can change it to my name for access.  So I can't get your emails on AOL, but I will check Bluelight again now.  I thank all of your for your kind words and for remembering and being a friend to my David.  May you have a happy holiday, whatever and however you celebrate.  Be safe.  Love yourself.  Be good to yourself and others.  Peace.  Here is his Virtual Memorial if you would like to know more about his life.  http://www.virtual-memorials.com/main.php?action=view&mem_id=21505&page_no=4     This is his Facebook Memorial Account, https://www.facebook.com/davidv.laniermemorial   and this is his Facebook Group page  https://www.facebook.com/groups/157433221000743/?bookmark_t=group


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## brutus

Merry Christmas to you as well. He will never be forgotten.


----------



## Phreexmom

I am Phreex (David's) Mother.    This is my response to a question regarding Narcan saving lives....
 " Where to begin regarding my David here in Florida. In 2003 David accidentally overdosed on his prescription fentanyl patches when he woke up confused during the night. At least that is what it looked like. I was at work the next day, called home to check on David. I had to call twice to 'force' my husband to take action. Finally, evidently he broke into David's room, found him unresponsive, called 911. The EMTs did give David Narcan. My husband and his mother tried to reach me at work via phone. My boss, Lee McNealy, at Convergys in Lake Mary, FL DID NOT bother to give me the message that my son was on life support at the ER. I called my mother in law to learn the news. I drove 100 miles an hour on the shoulder of I-4 to get to the ER. When I arrived my husband said they were 'waiting for me' before removing David from life support !!! The nurse said the black, necrotic tissue in the suction container was 'what he (David) had done to himself'. I had a sh*t fit and told them to save him, to do something. They then said, "I guess we will admit him", and gave him Narcan, restarted IV's, took him to ICU. Everyone wanted me to take him off of life support, except my daughter. Several days later the lawyer David worked for came strutting down the hall with two large male associates and told the doctors to 'treat David more aggressively' to save him. David's friends called everyone they knew. One friend came clear from Cocoa, FL late one night, and oddly David 'woke up' early that morning. He failed extubation later, the hospital called me so I could be there 'in case something happened'. I immediately told them to do an emergency tracheotomy. The doctor hesitated saying, "you want us to do a trach"? DUH, that is what you do, I had learned as a nurses aide in the VA hospital. David lived. They did surgery to place a stomach feeding tube, but they did not sedate him enough considering his medication tolerance....he was 'awake' during the surgery and told me and the doctor all of the conversation in the operating room !!!! He was afraid of this and we told the doctor prior to surgery. They waited until I was gone before taking David to surgery !! Narcan saved David this time and he lived 6 more years, though now disabled due to a week long coma, stroke, heart attack, seizures, etc. In 2009 David overdosed twice within a month and the EMTs and hospital gave him Narcan and saved him quickly, he was home within a day or two. The second of these OD's was because the Volusia County Sheriff forced me to turn over a month's supply of Fentynal to David and his 'girlfriend' even though David and his doctor had agreed I should keep and administer the patches, as David was weak and was being robbed, abused, beaten up and manipulated by his girlfriend and others at his apartment. State Adult protective services would NOT help me, they dismissed me saying I just wanted to control David's patches, selling them, keeping his money,...as if... !!!!! That was the influences on David from others, including my sick husband. So, the 'girlfriend' moved out of state, David had been without his Fentynal for a week or so due to doctors appointment date and girl friends selling his medications. On August 27, 2009 I took him to his previously scheduled appointment, got his medications, finished celebrating his 30th birthday. He took his medication and went to bed. I checked his vitals, as he always did that himself after getting his meds. refilled each month and after taking them. He was fine, finally sleeping after days of pain and wakefulness. Five or ten minutes later I checked on him and he was gasping. We called 911, EMT's arrived in 7 minutes. My sick husband detained them in the front of the house, telling them David was an 'addict' and had OD'd twice the month before. I was screaming for help with David in the back bedroom. No one came to us for 5 minutes. They continued talking to my husband. They finally came back, moved David to the floor in the entry way. I banged on the closet door and told them to 'do something'. They said their defibrillator was 'broke', they did not give oxygen, IV, Narcan, NOTHING. They did finally fake CPR and took him to the ER. I got all medical records. The hospital ER doctor emphatically noted on the records that NO NARCAN nor intubation had been done prior to reaching the ER. The ER immediately administered Narcan, but it was way too late by then, like 30 minutes after I found David gasping. The hospital restored a heartbeat with medication and machines. They only kept him on those for 3 minutes, "per hospital protocol", then removed all support and David died. the ER would NOT let me go to him, as I had managed to do in 2003. I guess they learned that mothers do not give up on their sons, so they locked the ER room from the lobby. I am sorry this story was so long. It was and is hell for me. If you want to learn of many, many more life saving stories, look at the Harm Reduction thread at www.bluelight.ru . Yes, it is a foreign website drug users frequent, but they are more knowledgeable and compassionate than most US 'professionals', and families."          We live in Deltona, and Florida Hospital Fish Memorial is the hospital David was taken to always. After David died, the doctor came in to tell us. He bolted in the room, blurted out, "David is Dead" before even sitting down. When our daughter returned our call, my husband answered and joked, "Hey Ashlie, How are you doing"... Ashlie yelled at him, crying, she knew why I had called her in Jacksonville because I left a brief message about David. When they took us to see David, I almost fainted and the nurse behind me just grabbed my slacks at the waist, holding me up with a wedgie rather than supporting my arms, etc. We were allowed only 2 minutes with David until the police came in, snapping on his rubber glove and telling us, "They should not have let you in here, you have to go". .. protocol for OD cases they said. My husband walked 40 feet in front of me to the car. The police kept us sitting outside our house for 3 hours while they searched the house, finding nothing. They said this was protocol for OD cases. I was horrified and still am. I will never get over this treatment. This, and worse, is how they treated David. I have a BS in Christian Education and have lived an strictly moral life. I did not deserve this treatment. David was like me. He did not deserve such treatment. On one occasion I took him to Halifax in DB because Fish would not help him. Halifax gave him Prednisone for his dropped wrist, fingers and foot. It cured the wrist and fingers, the foot never recovered from the pinched nerve. Halifax seems better. I have lost all faith in all people after all this.


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## bingey

^
never read this before.

I had my skull bashed open and didn't receive treatment at the ER. Because Im a known Junky.


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## Phreexmom

I am so sorry to hear of your pain and mistreatment at the ER, BingeBoy.  I know what you say is true.  You are not a 'known Junky', you are a person whose brain and body cry for a substance they have become dependent on, just like food or water or air.  Please try to get help, or get you dependency down on your own.  I wish you the best.  If you ever need medical attention again, keep going until you find someone who will help you, or threaten to sue them if they don't.  All hospitals get free money from the Federal Government to treat patients who are uninsured.  If they discriminate against you because you have a 'pre-existing condition', substance dependency, sue them for Malpractice.  Best wishes.


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## Phreexmom

Missing my son, 'Phreex', every day, and especially this Memorial Day weekend.  I miss you, Baby.  Phreexmom.


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## cj

Phreexmom said:


> Missing my son, 'Phreex', every day, and especially this Memorial Day weekend.  I miss you, Baby.  Phreexmom.


I am so sorry. Hugs! . 

Your sons presence, knowledge, and mind is greatly missed on this site. His contribution to what this site has become cannot be overstated. He is one of the legends of this site that will never be forgotten!


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## herbavore

I'm sorry, phreexmom.(())


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## Mad Dash

I was getting sentimental about Dave and looked up this thread because my one year sober birthday is coming up and it just made me miss Dave, I just realized my one year birthday is the same date as his passing... now I have to try extra hard to stay clean b/c if I fail this, then I fail him. There are no coincidences when it comes to my higher power, God bless you and your family phreexmom, he is missed a great deal.


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## herbavore

^ Congratulations Mad Dash.  I know that Dave's passing must have affected many in this way.


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## Transcendence

You see how many people loved him. And I'm so sorry. Your treatment sounds cold. It's not entirely unlike my own. It's a sickness that kills like so many others, yet it's often treated so differently. People who die from cancer or heart disease or even COPD and liver failure are more often treated compassionately to the end. 

They are judged for self-medicating a very real illness. But when somebody contributes to their death by drinking or not moving or eating too much there's somehow less stigma. There should be none for any situation and medical professionals should know better.


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## Mad Dash

Remembering you bud. Keep an eye on me from up there. 

RIP - 8/27/09 - 8/27/15 Been 6 six years and we still keep your memory alive.


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## IsleDoon

I've been coming to this site here and there over the course of, I dunno, years. Great site, Ive always been able to gain insight on whatever I needed. One name I've always seen and remembered in doing research is none other then PhreeX. In his words from the get go it was obvious he was that rare breed that encompassed being both a crazy mthr fkr and a voice of reason. This morning I found myself here again and in reading his particular comments about a subject that dated back to 2001, I was curious, and wondered, "Is this guy still alive"? 
My search of his name brought me here and I feel saddened. 
Peace be with you my unknown brother.


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## zephyr

RIP.  I dgaf about the whoke BL icon worship thing,  you were one of the first phone calls and my feet never felt sexier lol. RIP


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