# General Heroin Discussion 20 v. Walking Around in Women's Underwear



## brutus

Yall know the rules.


----------



## Welderman

Just in time there was some shit conversation at the end.


----------



## Masshole

literally.


----------



## smokemctoke420

Nice title. Haha


----------



## alteknj

damn, well ill post my blog here in the new thread again: https://jerseyjunkie201.wordpress.com/
for the people that was wondering where I was, im back and doing fine. Been on methadone for a few months. Just kicking it, getting my life in order again.


----------



## Tommyboy

alteknj said:


> damn, well ill post my blog here in the new thread again: https://jerseyjunkie201.wordpress.com/
> for the people that was wondering where I was, im back and doing fine. Been on methadone for a few months. Just kicking it, getting my life in order again.



Nice to see you back around. Chinky has been locked up for a minute now, but no1 really knows what happened. It's gotta be over 4 months by now.


----------



## MemphisX3

alteknj said:


> damn, well ill post my blog here in the new thread again: https://jerseyjunkie201.wordpress.com/
> for the people that was wondering where I was, im back and doing fine. Been on methadone for a few months. Just kicking it, getting my life in order again.



it seems like the entire forum jumped on methadone at the same time.


----------



## MemphisX3

not the social....woops


----------



## The Doc.

> ^i never said anywhere in my post NOT to take daily.I suggested take it every other day, and then gave the reason. But since it didnt translate ill put it in layman's terms for you. When some people take it every day they get, as i said, "never ending wipers." Which are turds where you use an entire roll of paper and theres still a streak. Taking too much miralax puts too much water in your stool and you can end up pooping these long wormy stools every 30min to an hour. Once i took too much miralax and was miserable two days, no pain just constant urge to poo w lil wormy wet poos that used a crap load of paper. Taking it every other day has helped me avoid this problem, but my body mass is relatively small as well which is why i have to space the doses out.
> 
> I wanted to avoid that whole spiel, but since you asked...
> 
> To beat a dead horse some more, BBT the sarcasm didnt translate well. If you were doing well, then why be sarcastic and say "its soo easy." Ok this dead horse is whopt.



what's with the additude?? I simply asked you why. sorry i don't know your shit slang jeez and you did say "only take it every other day" to quote you from your previous post so yes you did say it actually. And I didn't even ask for help with constipation then you go acting like some "poop expert" talking down to everyone like WTF? All I said was I hate methadone and the reasons why lol


----------



## ohshea

It was just answering your question. The original post wasnt specifically directed towards you, it was towards the entire forum, the only reason I quoted it was because it mentioned constipation, I know you werent asking for help. Actually I didnt even realize you were the same person from that original post until now.

i was in a very bad mood last night i had stomach cramps (again w the stomach issues...) so it wasnt meant to be snarky. My apologies.

"Poop expert"? Ill take it. Ive been called worse.


----------



## Welderman

MemphisX3 said:


> it seems like the entire forum jumped on methadone at the same time.



Great minds think alike.


----------



## alteknj

MemphisX3 said:


> it seems like the entire forum jumped on methadone at the same time.



shit man it honestly saved my fucking life. i was so bad off like the end of 2013 (nov, dec and part of jan 2014) i was seriously going to either a) end up dead from killing myself willingly or unwillingly or b) get myself in a lot of trouble and end up on the run and probably locked up

i was doing so much fucking dirt every day just go hustle up some money to get high and i wasn't even doing it for fun at this point, it was a 24/7 job to stay well. i did not have a pot to piss in. i was lucky enough to have a roof and a bed and a car to get around and that is all i needed. no job, no money, no nothing. i had a few chances to get myself together (i had a week or two worth of methadone like 2x) i could have very well detoxed somewhat comfortably and got right, but i was in major junkie mode. i stole, sold, ripped, robbed whatever, whoever i could.
by January, the law was catching up to me.. i had been busted two days in a row for driving with no license and the 2nd time my dude was with me and had a lot of shit on him, we majorly lucked out because the cop was cool and just wrote the ticket and bounced but any narcotics officer or cop that cared about making arrest could have easily popped us both. then they got a warrant on me by the end of january for some shit. and they were grilling some other people i ran with about some retails they got caught up and wanted info on me, etc. At that point I didn't give a fuck about the law, i just cared about keeping well/high. I just called the methadone clinic by me on a whim one day in the car with a girl who was enrolling in it again and i made the appt for the next day and was dosed 3 days later. No waiting lists or anything like that which is what I dealt with in the past. So it really did save my life.. just in the neck of time too.


----------



## chefman

Yep,that,done can help you get,your life together!!


----------



## subotai

checking in

whats poppin homies

 feel obligated to point out I dont call people "homies" irl lol...


----------



## RaZkaL86

Yeah, I was thinkin the same thing...like everyone all of a sudden decided to gt straight...can't say I blame them...don't want to be all strung out in the hot summer tryin to hustle every day for your fix. Gets to the point where you're not coppin to get high; just to get off "E"!!! Not worth it at all....


----------



## ohshea

alteknj said:


> shit man it honestly saved my fucking life. i was so bad off like the end of 2013 (nov, dec and part of jan 2014) i was seriously going to either a) end up dead from killing myself willingly or unwillingly or b) get myself in a lot of trouble and end up on the run and probably locked up
> 
> i was doing so much fucking dirt every day just go hustle up some money to get high and i wasn't even doing it for fun at this point, it was a 24/7 job to stay well. i did not have a pot to piss in. i was lucky enough to have a roof and a bed and a car to get around and that is all i needed. no job, no money, no nothing. i had a few chances to get myself together (i had a week or two worth of methadone like 2x) i could have very well detoxed somewhat comfortably and got right, but i was in major junkie mode. i stole, sold, ripped, robbed whatever, whoever i could.
> by January, the law was catching up to me.. i had been busted two days in a row for driving with no license and the 2nd time my dude was with me and had a lot of shit on him, we majorly lucked out because the cop was cool and just wrote the ticket and bounced but any narcotics officer or cop that cared about making arrest could have easily popped us both. then they got a warrant on me by the end of january for some shit. and they were grilling some other people i ran with about some retails they got caught up and wanted info on me, etc. At that point I didn't give a fuck about the law, i just cared about keeping well/high. I just called the methadone clinic by me on a whim one day in the car with a girl who was enrolling in it again and i made the appt for the next day and was dosed 3 days later. No waiting lists or anything like that which is what I dealt with in the past. So it really did save my life.. just in the neck of time too.



Congrats man i feel your pain thats not a lifenits just scraping by. I know i stepped on everyone to get to the gutter but was already starting to cut back when i got on methadone and it really saves my life too. I love stories like yours thanks for sharing hopefully it gives others on BL hope because i know some are still stuck in the cyce and feel its neverending.


----------



## RTrain

Kinda hard to judge sarcasm in writing from someone who consistently is on here writing things that defy logic and the majority's opinion



trainspotter10102 said:


> what's with the additude?? I simply asked you why. sorry i don't know your shit slang jeez and you did say "only take it every other day" to quote you from your previous post so yes you did say it actually. And I didn't even ask for help with constipation then you go acting like some "poop expert" talking down to everyone like WTF? All I said was I hate methadone and the reasons why lol



Honestly taking laxatives every day is bad and I think every other day might be too much, as well. I have noticed they start to lose their effectiveness and then the problems can get worse. Diet, lots of hydration and certain vitamins I think can help much more on a long term basis. I would suggest a good magnesium supplement (mg citrate or stearate, but oxide is fine and its the only one available at a walgreens/cvs, the others require a vitamin store to get). Also I believe vitamin C can be very helpful, I can't say why but supplementing with it has helped me. Make sure to eat a good amount of fiber, but too much can be bad, so don't go for those Fiberone products or supplemental fiber. I like oatmeal, its a very good source. 

Another good idea is just wake up and wait long enough before using to have a bowel movement. Or use a very small amount one morning, like just enough to stay well enough to function. 

If you really were desperate you could consider inducing a slight precipitated withdrawal with some Sub, like in the morning take 1 mg about 12 hours after your like dose. I know I won't get sicker if I take my Sub after 12 hours, it could be riskier for others, so wouldn't suggest it unless you know yourself. I just know anytime I waited took sub in the morning after waiting only 10-2 hours I would always pretty much completely empty my bowels. And 1 mg is by no means too much to break through, you might need to dose a little more to feel better, but its not really doing much blocking at that dose with a 1 time use.



RaZkaL86 said:


> Yeah, I was thinkin the same thing...like everyone all of a sudden decided to gt straight...can't say I blame them...don't want to be all strung out in the hot summer tryin to hustle every day for your fix. Gets to the point where you're not coppin to get high; just to get off "E"!!! Not worth it at all....



Is being on Methadone really "straight"?....well whatever it is, if you are taking 50+ mg of methadone a day, you still have a massive opioid addiction. Not knocking it because its much better than the life of copping and shooting, so do what you gotta do. I'm jumping back on subs in a few days myself, my work schedule wouldn't allow me to go to a clinic daily, so its not even an option. Also I've done some 'done and really didn't like the feeling it gave me. I felt a decent high, but spaced out and wasn't liking that. I enjoy the little buzz from the low dose Subs I take and I can live a normal life, exercise, full nights sleep, eat healthy, all that stuff I'd like to do and don't do when on dope.


----------



## MemphisX3

alteknj said:


> shit man it honestly saved my fucking life. i was so bad off like the end of 2013 (nov, dec and part of jan 2014) i was seriously going to either a) end up dead from killing myself willingly or unwillingly or b) get myself in a lot of trouble and end up on the run and probably locked up
> 
> i was doing so much fucking dirt every day just go hustle up some money to get high and i wasn't even doing it for fun at this point, it was a 24/7 job to stay well. i did not have a pot to piss in. i was lucky enough to have a roof and a bed and a car to get around and that is all i needed. no job, no money, no nothing. i had a few chances to get myself together (i had a week or two worth of methadone like 2x) i could have very well detoxed somewhat comfortably and got right, but i was in major junkie mode. i stole, sold, ripped, robbed whatever, whoever i could.
> by January, the law was catching up to me.. i had been busted two days in a row for driving with no license and the 2nd time my dude was with me and had a lot of shit on him, we majorly lucked out because the cop was cool and just wrote the ticket and bounced but any narcotics officer or cop that cared about making arrest could have easily popped us both. then they got a warrant on me by the end of january for some shit. and they were grilling some other people i ran with about some retails they got caught up and wanted info on me, etc. At that point I didn't give a fuck about the law, i just cared about keeping well/high. I just called the methadone clinic by me on a whim one day in the car with a girl who was enrolling in it again and i made the appt for the next day and was dosed 3 days later. No waiting lists or anything like that which is what I dealt with in the past. So it really did save my life.. just in the neck of time too.



i am so glad i got on methadone. i never told anyone but my mind (by itself with no conscious help from myself) kept thinking of suicide...like i have thought about it before and always thought i would hang myself if i ever did but i had started to get these pictures in my head of me putting a gun in my mouth, and like i said this wasn't something i took joy in, it scared the shit out of me but it just wouldn't stop. it mostly happened on my way to cop and a few hours after i shot up. i would just start getting real down on myself and those images would jump into my head and it was extremely difficult to get rid of them. since i have started methadone it has disappeared altogether. i can certainly see how some compulsive people would end up offing themselves in such situations. it was really scary tbqh.


edit: im glad you're ok man. i had noticed your absence awhile ago and wondered what had come of you. glad to see you are doing good.

i have been there too man. living in my car, no money, no gas, no job, just a ridiculous strong pull to shoot heroin and or dilaudid. i do not miss it AT ALL


----------



## Carl Landrover

RaZkaL86 said:


> Yeah, I was thinkin the same thing...like everyone all of a sudden decided to gt straight...can't say I blame them...don't want to be all strung out in the hot summer tryin to hustle every day for your fix. Gets to the point where you're not coppin to get high; just to get off "E"!!! Not worth it at all....



It's way worse in the winter imo

I don't miss still feeling cold despite being wrapped in blankets and wearing double layers of socks, pants, and shirts.


----------



## ohshea

RTrain said:


> Kinda hard to judge sarcasm in writing from someone who consistently is on here writing things that defy logic and the majority's opinion
> 
> 
> 
> Honestly taking laxatives every day is bad and I think every other day might be too much, as well. I have noticed they start to lose their effectiveness and then the problems can get worse. Diet, lots of hydration and certain vitamins I think can help much more on a long term basis. I would suggest a good magnesium supplement (mg citrate or stearate, but oxide is fine and its the only one available at a walgreens/cvs, the others require a vitamin store to get). Also I believe vitamin C can be very helpful, I can't say why but supplementing with it has helped me. Make sure to eat a good amount of fiber, but too much can be bad, so don't go for those Fiberone products or supplemental fiber. I like oatmeal, its a very good source.
> 
> Another good idea is just wake up and wait long enough before using to have a bowel movement. Or use a very small amount one morning, like just enough to stay well enough to function.
> 
> If you really were desperate you could consider inducing a slight precipitated withdrawal with some Sub, like in the morning take 1 mg about 12 hours after your like dose. I know I won't get sicker if I take my Sub after 12 hours, it could be riskier for others, so wouldn't suggest it unless you know yourself. I just know anytime I waited took sub in the morning after waiting only 10-2 hours I would always pretty much completely empty my bowels. And 1 mg is by no means too much to break through, you might need to dose a little more to feel better, but its not really doing much blocking at that dose with a 1 time use.
> 
> 
> 
> Is being on Methadone really "straight"?....well whatever it is, if you are taking 50+ mg of methadone a day, you still have a massive opioid addiction. Not knocking it because its much better than the life of copping and shooting, so do what you gotta do. I'm jumping back on subs in a few days myself, my work schedule wouldn't allow me to go to a clinic daily, so its not even an option. Also I've done some 'done and really didn't like the feeling it gave me. I felt a decent high, but spaced out and wasn't liking that. I enjoy the little buzz from the low dose Subs I take and I can live a normal life, exercise, full nights sleep, eat healthy, all that stuff I'd like to do and don't do when on dope.



Haha yea i always knew i was sick when i reached that little window when your system functions normally (before going haywire.)

The "methadone: clean or not?" discussion! I say if your quality life is good and you are able to function like a normal adult, i say use whatever crutch you can, subs or done. I know w out my done id be back in the gutter, my quality of life is more important at this point than conforming to the standard definition of clean/sober. Im not on a rediculously high does and not continually increasing either.

I think abstaining from your DOC is being clean. Like, i dont think a former junkie smoking weed is not in sobreiety anymore just because they smoke.

Carl: yea winter is WAY worse. I used to look forward to summer, dont mind the heat you can always take layers off. But bein homeless in a -10 windchill while tryin to cop is hell on earth.


----------



## cj

Picking a lawyer is hard. Just looking up random names in the phone book seemed a little nonchalant. But those internet rating systems don't really give much info so it honestly felt about the same. I scheduled 2 different appointments for next week to see what there talking about. I ended up getting a failure to appear warrant while I was in rehab because the dumbass social worker at the tc dropped the ball and sent the letter to get a postponement too late. Otherwise I was planning to use the public defender. Now I'm questioning that decision a little bit. But my plan right now is to use the paid lawyer to get the warrant squashed then see what the public defender is talking about compared to paid counsel. I really don't think I can do probation right now. I feel like it would just end up being a revolving door back to jail for me. So if I can negotiate a plea where I do a month or so in county instead of probation I will probably take that deal. Especially since I don't have a habit right now.


----------



## alteknj

Carl Landrover said:


> It's way worse in the winter imo
> 
> I don't miss still feeling cold despite being wrapped in blankets and wearing double layers of socks, pants, and shirts.



I like Winter for the fact that it's a lot easier to steal shit and shoplift from stores. Kind of hard to do it with shorts and a t-shirt in summer. But Summer is when everyone comes out and I have fond memories of cruising Newark in the summer. Granted, there will always be people outside selling drugs any time of year. It's an atmosphere thing.


----------



## porkchops

Clean is when one is not on any substances at all. If methadone or subs or weed helped get your shit together that's awesome, but saying you're clean is a bit disingenuous. I always looked at it like if you were dropped on an island would you be able to function. No? You are dependent, not clean. The definition in the dictionary is "free from drug addiction" You can't change the meaning of a word to suit yourself. But, like I said, its truly great if it has allowed you to live a fulfilling life.

On another level people on methadone or subs saying they're clean kind of cheapens the word. Being truly clean clean(how I designate so there is no confusion) takes something else entirely and those who have done it deserve the prestige.

Crimson - you can always search a firm's or lawyer's name on your newspaper website, see what they've been involved with.


----------



## MMT

^Can we cut the shit about shit. That said I was on hi dose methadone for 14 years and would take a couple of tbs of generic Metamucil every night. I know it tastes shitty but it's the best thing if you just mix it w/ water and just down it. What do you think the grit in the 40mg. wafers was? Once you start using it regular it gives you about an hour post dose window to do your thing and you will be amazed at how effective and easy the shit comes out. And it also lowers your cholesterol too. So that's my 2 cents but really it's great and keeps you regular.And it's natural and basically scrapes your intestines clean without any bad side effects. No lasting damage like all the other shit mentioned here but you gotta do it every day for it to work and you can skip a day now and then as long as you stick with it.


----------



## ohshea

^metamucil bloats me but then so does miralax. So far these chia seeds are working wonders though. Ch ch ch chia.

Sorry porky but im on methadone and consider myself clean. I abstain from my DOC and dont get high from my meds and my quality of life ia great im actually happy for once (feels weird but i love it). I dont see using methadone any different than a depressed using SSRIs or an ADD kid using amphetamines.


----------



## alteknj

porkchops said:


> Clean is when one is not on any substances at all. If methadone or subs or weed helped get your shit together that's awesome, but saying you're clean is a bit disingenuous. I always looked at it like if you were dropped on an island would you be able to function. No? You are dependent, not clean. The definition in the dictionary is "free from drug addiction" You can't change the meaning of a word to suit yourself. But, like I said, its truly great if it has allowed you to live a fulfilling life.
> 
> On another level people on methadone or subs saying they're clean kind of cheapens the word. Being truly clean clean(how I designate so there is no confusion) takes something else entirely and those who have done it deserve the prestige.
> 
> Crimson - you can always search a firm's or lawyer's name on your newspaper website, see what they've been involved with.



I understand where you are coming from, but it shouldn't be a pissing contest. Nobody deserves prestige over something like this. I don't believe in 12 step programs, but the best little recovery cliche I ever heard came out of a meeting. "Work your own program." Nobody has any authority or even the right to an opinion about your recovery program. You can't tell someone they aren't clean because they are on methadone. You are entitled to your opinion, but you shouldn't really express it to people like that. If someone is improving their life on methadone, subs and they consider themselves clean, then let them. They are clean. There is no basis to argue with someone over it. And I am not attacking you or anything lol so don't get it twisted. I am just telling you how I view it. Yea I might be dependent on something, but I consider it a medication. And I would not consider myself addicted to it. Dependent yes. Someone said I was switching one addiction with another getting on methadone. I say bullshit. Work your own program. Worry about yourself. I don't mean to nitpick definitions because I definetly understand where you are coming from. People abstain 100% from drugs. But it's all so subjective. People pick and choose. Oh I'll smoke weed but I won't do anything. Oh I can social drink. Oh caffeine and nicotine are drugs too! I just worry about myself.


----------



## cj

I think it sucks we define our lives through society's dictionary. Clean is the opposite of dirty right? So when we use it in the context of drugs it means you are not dirty. So are people who do use drugs dirty? Are they unclean? See when we frame the conversation in that way it's easy for society to think negatively of us and drugs in general. It makes it easier for them to dismiss my rights as a human being. Easy to lock me in a cage. After all even the language tells them I am a dirty person unfit for society. Just something I have been thinking about.


----------



## Tommyboy

I always preferred kicking in the winter. It's easier to just burrow up for a week and just try to drink to soup than it is to deal with the heat when kicking while the rest of the world is in full bloom.  Having said that, it might be easier to stay clean in the summer since there is more to do to keep your mind occupied.

As for the whole 'clean' debate, well I will agree that there is certainly a difference between being on maintenance drugs and being totally clean from all substances.  Having said that, I also feel that no person should have to go through unnecessary suffering, and so if they need a maintenance drug to help them then that is fine.  It's so hard to stay clean when you have no job, no money, no trust and basically no self worth. And I don't care how well you work any steps if you still feel bad about yourself then things will not pan out for yourself in terms of staying clean. Therefore it's good for some people to use maintenance drugs to build these things (as well as their self-worth) back up so that they have a better chance of staying clean if they wish to get off of maintenance drugs.  

If the person is using these drugs properly then that is a great step in the right direction. I don't consider it fully clean but don't really care much either, it's just for the sake of defining the term to me.  I only have a problem with it when the people are still acting like druggies and abusing the meds.  A couple of months ago I was in the same room as this kid that was going on about being clean in between sniffing lines of subutex mixed with crushed up xanax.  He said he was still clean since he was scripted the subutex, and that the xanax didn't really count against him since he was scripted clonazepam which 'is basically the same thing.' He also smoked a ton of weed as well as selling it as his main source of income, and he made it out that night since he lied to his family saying he was going to an NA meeting but he really went out to smoke weed on top of doing those pills (also more subutex than prescribed.) After that he asked where he could get more sub since he did more than prescribed and didn't want to go sick due to it.  Now that's definitely not clean since he was still abusing various drugs as well as living the life of an addict. 

So I'm sure as hell not going to come in here talking down to people on maintenance drugs when I know thealternative.  And like Memphis was saying about his bad thoughts, if methadone is the only thing that would make them stop then is he not clean for being in it? Should he have been a proud man and gone through with it rather than getting on done?  Would one rather feel horrible but 'clean' rather than normal on maintenance? Anybody that has lived through this knows the answers.


----------



## Welderman

I'll take felling good on maintenance over feeling bad on abstinence.


----------



## ATLL765

Clean, dirty, whatever. That's all bs anyways. The point isn't to stop using drugs altogether, it's to put your life back together and to live the life you want to be living. If that means avoiding all drugs because you can't control your use of anything, so be it, if that means just avoiding your DOC because you can use other drugs occasionally and not have it be a problem, that's fine too. When I stopped using dope for a couple years, I smoked pot daily and frequently used Xanax that I was prescribed. Was my recovery a failure because I still was using drugs of some kind? Ultimately yes, but that's not the point. While I was staying away from dope I was working, had a social life, wasn't racking up debt or getting arrested, wasn't constantly sick and thinking about how to get enough money together to go cop. I was living a fairly normal life. That to me was good enough to be considered a successful recovery.


----------



## porkchops

Never was my intention to devalue anyone who is happy on methadone/subs. Twice I said how awesome it was if they contributed toward turning your life around. My point is/was the definition of the word. Shea, I can consider a triangle a square, that doesn't make it so. Alteknj, dude its great how much better you're living, but yo anyway you slice it you are addicted to the methadone. I really enjoyed reading your blog by the way. Throw in an Allentown tale. I think Tommyboy got my point across diplomatically. Being clean clean is something to take pride in and I do look at those who've done it with a certain type of respect.

Rehab in the summer sucks, Rehab in the winter fucking really sucks.


----------



## Welderman

ATLL765 said:


> Clean, dirty, whatever. That's all bs anyways. The point isn't to stop using drugs altogether, it's to put your life back together and to live the life you want to be living. If that means avoiding all drugs because you can't control your use of anything, so be it, if that means just avoiding your DOC because you can use other drugs occasionally and not have it be a problem, that's fine too. When I stopped using dope for a couple years, I smoked pot daily and frequently used Xanax that I was prescribed. Was my recovery a failure because I still was using drugs of some kind? Ultimately yes, but that's not the point. While I was staying away from dope I was working, had a social life, wasn't racking up debt or getting arrested, wasn't constantly sick and thinking about how to get enough money together to go cop. I was living a fairly normal life. That to me was good enough to be considered a successful recovery.


This is pretty much how I feel about it.


----------



## ohshea

crimsonjunk said:


> I think it sucks we define our lives through society's dictionary. Clean is the opposite of dirty right? So when we use it in the context of drugs it means you are not dirty. So are people who do use drugs dirty? Are they unclean? See when we frame the conversation in that way it's easy for society to think negatively of us and drugs in general. It makes it easier for them to dismiss my rights as a human being. Easy to lock me in a cage. After all even the language tells them I am a dirty person unfit for society. Just something I have been thinking about.



This is a good point never thought about that.

As with what atll said, recovery is a much better term than clean. Starting to say clean does turn it into a pissing contest as said before, like AA and their little chips and unwelcome attitude towards maintenance drugs.

I know ill never really fit the definition of other peoples clean, i feel hardwired to be an opiate addict and theres a void in my brain when im sober. Methadone fills that voidw out getting me high or turned into a zombie, and live a productive live going to school and working. Im two years shy of my bachelors right now actually, just finished spring semester a few weeks ago.


----------



## MMT

You do what you gotta do and don't worry what anyone else thinks. Just don't let me see you wearing white socks and sandals.


----------



## ohshea

^but i live in white socks and birkenstocks.


----------



## Willzz

New and from uk, just a question. People keep telling me a particular gear is laced with benzos. I always thought this was crap until I witnessed 2 close friends/users get totally seriously smashed. Some one please tell me the facts. I'm also jealous as I must be a "fast metaboliser or sumik" as I don't seem to get wasted liked my using partners do. HELP. Willzz


----------



## MMT

ohshea said:


> ^but i live in white socks and birkenstocks.



Ya but I bet you don't hike the tube socks up to your knee wearing plaid shorts and a Hawaiian shirt complaining about 'the kids today'


----------



## alteknj

ATLL765 said:


> Clean, dirty, whatever. That's all bs anyways. The point isn't to stop using drugs altogether, it's to put your life back together and to live the life you want to be living. If that means avoiding all drugs because you can't control your use of anything, so be it, if that means just avoiding your DOC because you can use other drugs occasionally and not have it be a problem, that's fine too. When I stopped using dope for a couple years, I smoked pot daily and frequently used Xanax that I was prescribed. Was my recovery a failure because I still was using drugs of some kind? Ultimately yes, but that's not the point. While I was staying away from dope I was working, had a social life, wasn't racking up debt or getting arrested, wasn't constantly sick and thinking about how to get enough money together to go cop. I was living a fairly normal life. That to me was good enough to be considered a successful recovery.



yo man you hit the nail right on the fucking head.. that is exactly 100% how i feel. except you cant say that shit around counselors at a methadone clinic, rehab facility or people at 12 step meetings because they will INSTANTLY fucking chastise you for thinking like that, when really its none of their fucking business and there is no right or wrong. but you will not get away saying that shit to a drug counselor in a program, so i play the part, i speak the lingo and just sit there until were done. i can honestly say that having a few beers with my boys once in a while or smoking a little weed aint going to fucking harm me in anyway. yes i am a drug addict, heroin. heroin ruined my god damn life. but its always the same response "weed and alcohol are drugs too. use once and you might get away with it, but you wont use twice and the same thing happen. then youll end up in a jail cell blacked out wondering what went wrong." i never got into any trouble over drinking or pot or even taking a fucking benzo every now and then. it was 100% all heroin and opiates. i follow the rules i have to follow so whatever. i know i dont ever really want to go back to using dope because of it, but a drink or some weed now and then? get the fuck outta here, im not living my life like a chump.


----------



## Carl Landrover

porkchops said:


> Clean is when one is not on any substances at all.



That's not like it's written in stone. People have different ideas of "clean". There was a thread talking about this in the Dark Side board recently. I've considered myself clean before when I was only vaporizing weed. Saying otherwise implies that what I'm doing is "dirty" and that I'm dirty still for using.


----------



## ohshea

MMT said:


> Ya but I bet you don't hike the tube socks up to your knee wearing plaid shorts and a Hawaiian shirt complaining about 'the kids today'



Quit describing my life!


----------



## porkchops

ATLL765 said:


> Was my recovery a failure because I still was using drugs of some kind? Ultimately yes, but that's not the point.



Huh? That is the point.


----------



## MMT

Clean means your DOC isn't making you lie,steal,cheat to get it. If it's not fucking up ones life you're clean in my book.


----------



## Carl Landrover

porkchops said:


> Huh? That is the point.



Where do you draw the line then?

If I have a problem with opiates and that has been my biggest downfall, then am I not clean if I have a few drinks every now and then? I'm talking maybe 1-2 nights a week. Or am I only "clean" on the 5-6 days that I didn't drink? 

What about if someone takes caffeine? I know a lot of people who pretty much can't get going with the day without their morning dose of caffeine. They are addicted and suffer WD symptoms without it (fatigue, headaches). It's a drug. It's just socially acceptable and inexpensive. Yet, if they're addicted to a drug aren't they not clean going by your standard of not being on any substance at all?


----------



## MMT

^I agree Carl cause all the bad shit(OD's,health and legal trouble) that heroin users face is just cause the drug is deemed illegal. If it were legal that shit would stop tomorrow. Pure,pharm. heroin does not damage the body,unlike legal cigs and alcohol which both kill thousands every year.


----------



## porkchops

One more time, the definition of clean is "free from drug addiction." If you are truly addicted to caffeine then no. I never said you couldn't drink. This conversation started about methadone. If you take that every day you are addicted to it. If you have to smoke weed everyday to not use heroin, you are addicted to it. Clean clean (2x) is when you are truly off everything.

Edit because that "one more time" intro sounded crazy dickish. Definitely don't take it like that. I think that being on methadone or subs, while beneficial to many, is not the same as being completely clean. I understand that those on these drugs take it as an insult, but its not. Just the truth.


----------



## alteknj

porkchops said:


> One more time, the definition of clean is "free from drug addiction." If you are truly addicted to caffeine then no. I never said you couldn't drink. This conversation started about methadone. If you take that every day you are addicted to it. If you have to smoke weed everyday to not use heroin, you are addicted to it. Clean clean (2x) is when you are truly off everything.
> 
> Edit because that "one more time" intro sounded crazy dickish. Definitely don't take it like that. I think that being on methadone or subs, while beneficial to many, is not the same as being completely clean. I understand that those on these drugs take it as an insult, but its not. Just the truth.



I completely understand what you mean. Of course, clean and maintenance are two different things to many people. And if you believe you need to abstain from all psychoactive substances to be clean, then good for you. And the majority of 12 steppers and drug counselors would agree with it. I just don't think it's right to set a standard on it. People would rather live in a bubble and safe with all these restrictions. Good for them, but just don't project it on me. I am not directing at it you, but people in general. I have such a huge problem with drug counselors doing this. If I can have a drink every now and then or smoke some weed, then what the fuck? I am an adult. I don't need your approval or permission. But to say I am not clean or whatever. I hate the way these words are used so subjectively and nitpicked to death. Bottom line is I think I know what's best for me and what I can and can't do successfully. Every 12 steppers would say "But your best thinking got you here." No, my worst thinking did. I don't need people to tell me what I can/should be doing. Heroin ruined my life. Heroin. And if it was free or cheap like methadone at a clinic, I could maintain on it then I would be exactly where I am on methadone. Dependant, not addicted.


----------



## ohshea

^good point.

By your definition porky i dont know anyone thats clean, whether theyre dependent on their prescribed benzos, antidepressants, amphets to maintenance drugs to nicotine and caffeine. 

In the end were all just fruit! Dirty fruit


----------



## Carl Landrover

So what do you think about anti-depressants that someone has to take daily and might have to taper off of before you can stop them? Are those people not clean? 




porkchops said:


> Edit because that "one more time" intro sounded crazy dickish. Definitely don't take it like that. I think that being on methadone or subs, while beneficial to many, is not the same as being completely clean. I understand that those on these drugs take it as an insult, but its not. Just the truth.




I understand what you're saying, and no offense meant, but that is still your opinion. Claiming something as "truth" is usually going to cause an argument.


----------



## ohshea

Its not an insult, it just discredits someones recovery. Maintenance drugs are not a cure all, we still struggle w the fight against relapsing 

Its just the truth? Agree to disagree


----------



## somnilicious

It is all about quality of life..... The definition of clean is irrelevant when considering the pros and cons of maintenance. However I do believe it cheapens the experiences of those who are totally clean when people on maintenance say they are clean. Right now I am totally clean except for soda and sleepy time tea. It has been extremely difficult to adjust and deal with life but I am actually happier than when I was on maintenance. I get to experience happiness on a level that was before unknown but on the flip side I also experience more fears and emotional lows. This latter part has been a challenge but I often find myself filled with excitement and laughing with pure joy which I didn't experience after years of maintenance. On maintenance I felt emotionally blunted. I experienced emotions but they were intellectualized emotions. It was almost as if I had to tell myself I was happy and then I would be. Now that I am clean these emotions are forced on me.

With this said I believe that maintenance is as close to being clean as one can be without pure abstinence and if it helps them improve their quality of life than who cares. Go to school, excel in your career, find a partner and settle into a nice home. If methadone helps you get these things and find peace than fuck what anybody else thinks. 

I love being clean but I can't deny a part of me wants to go back to the clinic but then I realize that that is just fear of the unknown trying to force me into escape mode. Its hard to explain the unrestrained emotions to someone who has been on the clinic for a while but if it improves your quality of life then my previous statement stands. Fuck em all and their rigid ideals.


----------



## Tommyboy

porkchops said:


> Alteknj, dude its great how much better you're living, but yo anyway you slice it you are addicted to the methadone. I really enjoyed reading your blog by the way. Throw in an Allentown tale. I think Tommyboy got my point across diplomatically. Being clean clean is something to take pride in and I do look at those who've done it with a certain type of respect.
> 
> Rehab in the summer sucks, Rehab in the winter fucking really sucks.



I wouldn't say that everyone on methadone maintenance is addicted to it. Surely they are dependent on it and the two often go hand-in-hand, but not always. 

If you don't particularly care for methadone but it works for your cravings then you are not necessarily addicted to it. 



Willzz said:


> New and from uk, just a question. People keep telling me a particular gear is laced with benzos. I always thought this was crap until I witnessed 2 close friends/users get totally seriously smashed. Some one please tell me the facts. I'm also jealous as I must be a "fast metaboliser or sumik" as I don't seem to get wasted liked my using partners do. HELP. Willzz



Why do they think it's laced with benzos andnot just really good / potent 'gear' aka dope?  Benzos are most effective when taken orally, so if it's in gear that's smoked then it's mostly getting wasted since heat destroys it.  If it's being IV'd then barely any makes it into the shot since it'd not soluble in water.  



porkchops said:


> One more time, the definition of clean is "free from drug addiction." If you are truly addicted to caffeine then no. I never said you couldn't drink. *This conversation started about methadone. If you take that every day you are addicted to it.* If you have to smoke weed everyday to not use heroin, you are addicted to it. Clean clean (2x) is when you are truly off everything.
> 
> Edit because that "one more time" intro sounded crazy dickish. Definitely don't take it like that. I think that being on methadone or subs, while beneficial to many, is not the same as being completely clean. I understand that those on these drugs take it as an insult, but its not. Just the truth.



Again, addiction and dependence are not the same thing and can't be used interchangeably. 

Some people very well are addicted to their maintenance drug.  I knew a few people that liked their suboxone script a little too much, and so would try getting high off of it and were still living the life of an addict by trying to obtain more sub and mixing things with it to get higher.  

Then on the other hand there are people that barley feel anything from their suboxone and just use it to help with cravings and that's it.  They stick to a strict dosing schedule outlined by their doctor and don't try altering things to get a better buzz.  These people are dependent on the suboxone in order to function normally but they are not addicted to it like the people abusing it are.  

That's not to say that people aren't addicted to these drugs just because they take it as prescribed.  Some people enjoy the way it makes them feel and they cannot wait for their next dose, but they stick to the prescribed dosing possibly just so they don't run out or anything.


----------



## porkchops

With the anti-depressants I guess its kind of like that porn quote "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it." There's just a different feel.

The word dependent is actually in the definition for addicted. 

And counselors, fuck man please don't get me going on them. I've had maybe one or two good ones, but many who were so fucking dumb street smarts wise.

Anyone see the soccer game? Couldn't care less about the sport, but I won't lie felt real deflated for about 15 minutes after.


----------



## Welderman

I know a guy who takes 1or 2 Vicodin a day. He is not addicted to them but most likely would have withdrawals if he didn't take them. Just like if I missed a dose of methadone or what about if my diabetic friend didn't take his insulin? Yes there are a lot of people on methadone that abuse it and mix it with benzos and other drugs. If I could smoke weed without repercussions at the clinic I would on occasion. I consider myself clean of abusing opiates because they are what fucks everything up for me. There are good arguments for both sides and I feel we all will never agree on this subject. But just because some of us need opiate replacement therapy should not diminish the fact that we are living our lives happily and it does take a lot of work to stay sober even on methadone.


----------



## Welderman

porkchops said:


> With the anti-depressants I guess its kind of like that porn quote "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it." There's just a different feel.
> 
> The word dependent is actually in the definition for addicted.
> 
> And counselors, fuck man please don't get me going on them. I've had maybe one or two good ones, but many who were so fucking dumb street smarts wise.
> 
> Anyone see the soccer game? Couldn't care less about the sport, but I won't lie felt real deflated for about 15 minutes after.


How the heck can there be a tie game? Do both teams advance or do they not advance? I guess I don't like it because I don't take the time to understand it.


----------



## cj

Welderman said:


> How the heck can there be a tie game? Do both teams advance or do they not advance? I guess I don't like it because I don't take the time to understand it.



Ok I'll try to explain but I'm no expert either. There are 4 teams in the group and the top 2 teams advance at the end of 3 games. A win is worth 3 points a tie is 1 point and a loss is 0 points. So the 2 teams with the most points at the end advance to the knockout round. I


----------



## MemphisX3

Welderman said:


> I know a guy who takes 1or 2 Vicodin a day. He is not addicted to them but most likely would have withdrawals if he didn't take them. Just like if I missed a dose of methadone or what about if my diabetic friend didn't take his insulin? Yes there are a lot of people on methadone that abuse it and mix it with benzos and other drugs. If I could smoke weed without repercussions at the clinic I would on occasion. I consider myself clean of abusing opiates because they are what fucks everything up for me. There are good arguments for both sides and I feel we all will never agree on this subject. But just because some of us need opiate replacement therapy should not diminish the fact that we are living our lives happily and it does take a lot of work to stay sober even on methadone.



what do they do if you fail for weed? i have failed every single test for weed and they just dont care. they even tell me they dont care. and not just my counselor, the doctor who owns the place told me too.


----------



## MemphisX3

in the end the only definition of clean that matters is your own. if you were a heroin addict but you take methadone to live a normal life and consider yourself "clean" and you are happy with yourself then who the fuck cares what some other mother fucker has to say about it?


----------



## Welderman

MemphisX3 said:


> what do they do if you fail for weed? i have failed every single test for weed and they just dont care. they even tell me they dont care. and not just my counselor, the doctor who owns the place told me too.



They withhold your take homes.


----------



## MMT

^same ? can u still get takehomes if you test + for weed?


----------



## Welderman

MMT said:


> ^same ? can u still get takehomes if you test + for weed?



Not at my clinic not even if you have a medical card for it It is a stupid policy. It doesn't bother me because I don't really smoke anyway.


----------



## ohshea

porkchops said:


> With the anti-depressants I guess its kind of like that porn quote "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it." There's just a different feel.
> 
> The word dependent is actually in the definition for addicted.
> 
> And counselors, fuck man please don't get me going on them. I've had maybe one or two good ones, but many who were so fucking dumb street smarts wise.
> 
> Anyone see the soccer game? Couldn't care less about the sport, but I won't lie felt real deflated for about 15 minutes after.



Enough with you and your dictionary! You seem very anal. Not an insult, i guess that can be a good thing. But you keep saying, "in the dictionary it says...." "the definition is..."

I dont live my life according to Merriam-Webster 

Edit: my clinic doesnt give a rat's tiny butt about failing for weed either, benzos dont count also.


----------



## Carl Landrover

Plus the word dependent may be in the definition of addiction, but the opposite is not true. You can be dependent without being addicted. That was one of the points that Tommyboy was mentioning.


----------



## porkchops

Hey Shea, coming from an expert on all things shitty I'll take that as a compliment. I live in the real world where things are not arbitrarily defined. I'd put some type of smile face here, but forget that.

Carl, it being in the definition means anyone described as "physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance" is addicted.

I did try to change the subject to soccer, haha I guess that wasn't the best direction.


----------



## Welderman

Soccer probably wasn't the best choice of topics. Maybe you should have went back to the fore-skin debate.


----------



## Jabberwocky

hate when your boy has your dope and is supposed to swing by w/ it, or says he's on his way yet he's no where to be found. 

earlier today my boy came by w/ 3 40's. he swings by and I shoot 1.5. all goes well. he asks if he could take what is left over in order to measure it out so he can weigh it and make sure it's on point, so I say "YEA, GO AHEAD", realizing that if it's gone I wont shoot the rest and since I need it for the AM, it's prob best thing. also, he's on methadone and hasnt been using, so I trusted him. anyway, that was around 6PM, and now it's 11PM and he's no where to be found, ha. I still trust the kid but I am just NOT HAPPY because I wanted to have that shot waiting for me the minute I woke up, not hours after I woke up, or who knows what else, ya know!?!? damn son! 

EDIT: he called while I was writing this; he's on his way here, supposedly.. we'll see. he said the Phenibut I gave him while he was here made him feel "whacky" and feels like he "G'd out". he was supposed to weigh out my dope, which he said was UNDER the .4 it SHOULD have been and only weigh .29. he was also supposed to add MORE DOPE TO IT since I gave him some of mine originally but the Phenibut fucked him up too much and he wanst able to pick up.. so now that .29 SHOT in the AM will do ZERO for me aside from make me NOT SICK! oh well, at least the dope will be in my system for the done clinic. 

UGHHHHHHHHHH! NEVER GIVE ANYONE YOUR DOPE!


----------



## The Doc.

I don't see why we should think we NEED to be "clean" I mean if that's what the oerosn needs great but I figure just being able to get that big problem to a point where its no longer a problem anymore then your golden and why should you think your not doing good cause someone told you otherwise. For instance I'm on suboxone and no longer use heroin and my life is improved big time opiates are no longer this huge problem for me and I can live life. I agree I say clean is free from every thing mind altering that includes weed ciggs and booze but for many this is too extreme and unnecessary as they can enjoy those things without returning to their DOC. I don't refer to myself as clean I just can't cause it was too easy/painfree to get on subs and I still smoke weed to get buzzed if I went around saying oh I'm clean yep oh yea drugs are bad be like me don't do them I would be the biggest hypocritite. I don't really care though I just say my opiate addiction is no longer a problem and I stick to my script.


----------



## The Doc.

BostonBrownTown said:


> hate when your boy has your dope and is supposed to swing by w/ it, or says he's on his way yet he's no where to be found.
> 
> earlier today my boy came by w/ 3 40's. he swings by and I shoot 1.5. all goes well. he asks if he could take what is left over in order to measure it out so he can weigh it and make sure it's on point, so I say "YEA, GO AHEAD", realizing that if it's gone I wont shoot the rest and since I need it for the AM, it's prob best thing. also, he's on methadone and hasnt been using, so I trusted him. anyway, that was around 6PM, and now it's 11PM and he's no where to be found, ha. I still trust the kid but I am just NOT HAPPY because I wanted to have that shot waiting for me the minute I woke up, not hours after I woke up, or who knows what else, ya know!?!? damn son!
> 
> EDIT: he called while I was writing this; he's on his way here, supposedly.. we'll see. he said the Phenibut I gave him while he was here made him feel "whacky" and feels like he "G'd out". he was supposed to weigh out my dope, which he said was UNDER the .4 it SHOULD have been and only weigh .29. he was also supposed to add MORE DOPE TO IT since I gave him some of mine originally but the Phenibut fucked him up too much and he wanst able to pick up.. so now that .29 SHOT in the AM will do ZERO for me aside from make me NOT SICK! oh well, at least the dope will be in my system for the done clinic.
> 
> UGHHHHHHHHHH! NEVER GIVE ANYONE YOUR DOPE!



You don't need to tell me that I don't care what the circumstances are I hang onto my dope no matter what I don't trust any heroin addicts they are all liars. 

Good luck on the Meth it will be good to see you get out of this shitty cycle.


----------



## Jabberwocky

trainspotter10102 said:


> I don't see why we should think we NEED to be "clean" I mean if that's what the oerosn needs great but I figure just being able to get that big problem to a point where its no longer a problem anymore then your golden and why should you think your not doing good cause someone told you otherwise. For instance I'm on suboxone and no longer use heroin and my life is improved big time opiates are no longer this huge problem for me and I can live life. I agree I say clean is free from every thing mind altering that includes weed ciggs and booze but for many this is too extreme and unnecessary as they can enjoy those things without returning to their DOC. I don't refer to myself as clean I just can't cause it was too easy/painfree to get on subs and I still smoke weed to get buzzed if I went around saying oh I'm clean yep oh yea drugs are bad be like me don't do them I would be the biggest hypocritite. I don't really care though I just say my opiate addiction is no longer a problem and I stick to my script.



by no means do I feel I NEED TO BE CLEAN.. but at the same time I have a KILLER PROBLEM that made me go DEAD BROKE and is hurting my life in many ways (2 DUI's, jail, drugs, OD's, etc). so yea, I NEVER HATE on ANYONE who uses drugs, any drugs, in any way possible (IV, sniff, oral, anal, whatever you wanna do, man) but if its hurting your life, then its def. something you need to reconsider, ya know!? thats why I always bring it up and I am looking for a NEW DRUG to help me in DIFFERENT WAYS! this is why I am going down the methadone road here! I will be on probation soon, and maybe be taking drug tests, so I need some type of drug IN ME, so I might as well go the legal route, right? we'll see, tho.


----------



## Jabberwocky

trainspotter10102 said:


> You don't need to tell me that I don't care what the circumstances are I hang onto my dope no matter what I don't trust any heroin addicts they are all liars.
> 
> Good luck on the Meth it will be good to see you get out of this shitty cycle.



he just swung by and returned my 40 (although it was wrapped in a new bag, double bagged) and also added another .2 or so onto it in another bag which was a different color dope; you can see it in the pic, right? take a look below. 

anyway, I am not shooting this till morning but will update then. I have the clinic appointment tomorrow at 1230 so I am waiting to I can piss dirty and also NOT BE SICK and be feeling OK for the time tomorrow. we'll see how it all goes. like you said, I need OUT OF THIS SHITTY CYCLE, bad!  

anyway, he came by, felt bad for passing out on me, and threw me 2 klonapins as well.. so thats a plus! 





can you see the color difference in there? his dope is darker and my dope is lighter.


----------



## Carl Landrover

porkchops said:


> Carl, it being in the definition means anyone described as "physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance" is addicted.
> 
> I did try to change the subject to soccer, haha I guess that wasn't the best direction.



Dependent doesn't have to mean physically and mentally dependent. You could just be physically dependent on it, like many people who take pain killers for pain management are. People who have never abused them, but would still get WD symptoms if they suddenly stopped. They do not depict typical addict behavior. Dependence doesn't equal addiction. I'm not going to respond anymore after this. 


As for soccer, I played soccer many years growing up. It was fun and I miss it. Unfortunately not many people give a shit about it. Then the World Cup comes on once every 4 years and majority of the US pretends they know everything about soccer. It's lame.


----------



## LSDiesel

I know a friend who's father takes lipitor for his heart. He is dependent on it. If he doesn't take lipitor he has heart problems. Does he get high or euphoria from lipitor? I mean... maybe the peace of mind knowing that he won't have a heart problem if he continues to take the medicine, but he's certainly not addicted.

Addiction and dependence are not the same thing. I am dependent on my car to get me to work. Am I addicted to it? No


----------



## somnilicious

^^+1 an A+example.....Case and point on the car dependence.

Now about that soccer addiction...... I am fiend'ing hard for 90mins of back and forth action that ends with everybody winning and nobody losing. Kinda like a good night in bed often times it takes a last second header to bring the match to a climax. Oh shit! Am I treading dangerously towards dicks and Vagina talk.


----------



## somnilicious

Not a second after I got done typing my last post the phone rang and I just found out that one of my cousins was robbed and killed this morning  The word on the street is that this notorious dope fiend is responsible. Now one of my other cousins is trying to hunt the guy down and my Aunt wants me to try and find him before he ends up in jail for vigilante homicide. Fuck this world sucks sometimes. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach.


----------



## Welderman

somnilicious said:


> ^^+1 an A+example.....Case and point on the car dependence.
> 
> Now about that soccer addiction...... I am fiend'ing hard for 90mins of back and forth action that ends with everybody winning and nobody losing. Kinda like a good night in bed often times it takes a last second header to bring the match to a climax. Oh shit! Am I treading dangerously towards dicks and Vagina talk.



Soccer just sucks how can you have a tie in a playoff game?



somnilicious said:


> Not a second after I got done typing my last post the phone rang and I just found out that one of my cousins was robbed and killed this morning  The word on the street is that this notorious dope fiend is responsible. Now one of my other cousins is trying to hunt the guy down and my Aunt wants me to try and find him before he ends up in jail for vigilante homicide. Fuck this world sucks sometimes. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach.


That sucks about your cousin man I hope the dude gets what's coming to him without your other cousin getting in trouble.


----------



## somnilicious

Thank you so much for your condolences Welderman. The rumored perp was found in an alley beaten within an inch of his life. I have no idea what happened but I know my cousin was not involved but it was a bit of mob justice I suppose. This has been a very emotionally painful day for my entire family. I don't know why but it has almost been painful in and of itself that such a shared dramatic and life changing event in my family did not draw much attention away from the normal today's dope, cock/vag and the West Side is so hot right now talk. I don't know what I expected by sharing such personal information on a drug message board but I thought I had built enough solid relationships through my posting that I might receive a bit more support. Perhaps I am being a bit to sensitive because of the events of the day and I just want to thank everyone in advance for their prayers and well wishing for me and my family during this difficult time.

This cousin was a brother to me and I have come to respect and feel a connection with many of my fellow bluelighters...... So thank you all for helping me deal with this because I am having a very difficult time in my sobriety at this moment and I am still beyond shocked. It's almost as if I can't bring myself to believe that it is true. My shock and pain is causing a brutal sense of vertigo and I am trying to hold it together for my poor Aunt. I love you guys but most of all I love and miss my Cuz. Prieto. May you rest in peace brother. I pray now that I may stay sober and if I am unable? I pray that the drugs are strong enough to help numb the pain without causing a protracted relapse. Thank You All.


----------



## Carl Landrover

Welderman said:


> Soccer just sucks how can you have a tie in a playoff game?



I think they only have ties in the opening rounds when the teams are still in brackets and they are earning points for each win or tie. The top 2 teams in each bracket move on to the next round.


I'm sorry for your loss somnilicious. I can't imagine how you'd feel. I've fortunately never lost someone in such a violent and sudden way. My condolences to you and your family.


----------



## somnilicious

Carl Landrover said:


> I think they only have ties in the opening rounds when the teams are still in brackets and they are earning points for each win or tie. The top 2 teams in each bracket move on to the next round.
> 
> 
> I'm sorry for your loss somnilicious. I can't imagine how you'd feel. I've fortunately never lost someone in such a violent and sudden way. My condolences to you and your family.



It turns out the guy was found in an abandoned house nodding out from the dope he had taken from my cousin in the robbery. A bunch of my cousins faithful clients then drug him out into the alley and with respect to my cousin stomped his high ass and then took turns pissing on him. I am not one for vengeance but I can't say I am not pleased. However I will not feel vindicated until he is prosecuted even though it will never take away from my families loss or bring my cousin back.


----------



## somnilicious

Fuck it I got to go get high. I know it is selfish being that it is my Aunt and Uncle's son but if they don't find out and I don't shove it in their face than I don't see the harm. Can't deal with this right now without numbing.


----------



## northsideboy

Hope you're ok, man. I've lost close friends and a parent previously, but never to a violent act like that, with a responsible party. Just god and circumstance and whatever else to blame. 
Do what you have to do, but it sounds like you realize that your sobriety is a very important thing to you and your family. Just be careful, cause in that state of mind, whatever pain your in, it's probably really easy to make a mistake  - and I don't think you wanna cause anyone in your family any more pain right now.

Hope you get through this ok, you and your family.


----------



## Welderman

somnilicious said:


> Thank you so much for your condolences Welderman. The rumored perp was found in an alley beaten within an inch of his life. I have no idea what happened but I know my cousin was not involved but it was a bit of mob justice I suppose. This has been a very emotionally painful day for my entire family. I don't know why but it has almost been painful in and of itself that such a shared dramatic and life changing event in my family did not draw much attention away from the normal today's dope, cock/vag and the West Side is so hot right now talk. I don't know what I expected by sharing such personal information on a drug message board but I thought I had built enough solid relationships through my posting that I might receive a bit more support. Perhaps I am being a bit to sensitive because of the events of the day and I just want to thank everyone in advance for their prayers and well wishing for me and my family during this difficult time.
> 
> This cousin was a brother to me and I have come to respect and feel a connection with many of my fellow bluelighters...... So thank you all for helping me deal with this because I am having a very difficult time in my sobriety at this moment and I am still beyond shocked. It's almost as if I can't bring myself to believe that it is true. My shock and pain is causing a brutal sense of vertigo and I am trying to hold it together for my poor Aunt. I love you guys but most of all I love and miss my Cuz. Prieto. May you rest in peace brother. I pray now that I may stay sober and if I am unable? I pray that the drugs are strong enough to help numb the pain without causing a protracted relapse. Thank You All.


Stay strong brother sometimes this place is a bit slow on the responses I think it's because most posters here are stoned when they are on. Pm me if you need to bro I would come over and hang with you if we didn't live 1500 miles apart.


----------



## Welderman

somnilicious said:


> It turns out the guy was found in an abandoned house nodding out from the dope he had taken from my cousin in the robbery. A bunch of my cousins faithful clients then drug him out into the alley and with respect to my cousin stomped his high ass and then took turns pissing on him. I am not one for vengeance but I can't say I am not pleased. However I will not feel vindicated until he is prosecuted even though it will never take away from my families loss or bring my cousin back.



I didn't see this before I made that other post. Your cousin has some good friends to do that. Whether we belive in street justice or not karma is a mother fucker.


----------



## porkchops

Somnilicious, damn man can't say that I know what you're going through, but I'm sure its really tough...I'm glad its already catching up to the fucker who did it.

I'm sure no one would blame you for getting high, if that's what you choose to do.


----------



## MMT

somnilicious said:


> Not a second after I got done typing my last post the phone rang and I just found out that one of my cousins was robbed and killed this morning  The word on the street is that this notorious dope fiend is responsible. Now one of my other cousins is trying to hunt the guy down and my Aunt wants me to try and find him before he ends up in jail for vigilante homicide. Fuck this world sucks sometimes. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach.



Somn, I'm sorry for you and your family's loss. I lost my brother (IRL) and runnin buddy/best friend 15 years ago and the first few years were rough. Now I'm just pissed at him for not being around to get old with me.


----------



## somnilicious

MMT said:


> Somn, I'm sorry for you and your family's loss. I lost my brother (IRL) and runnin buddy/best friend 15 years ago and the first few years were rough. Now I'm just pissed at him for not being around to get old with me.



Sorry you had to lose your brother and best friend MMT.... Losing your brother must have been extremely difficult. Did you lose them both at around the same time? I remember the day I woke up to find my girl dead like it was yesterday and this has been bringing up old memories of all the friends I have lost over the years. 

I was haunted the first time I saw the episode of Breaking Bad where Jesse wakes to find Jane in bed because she reminded me so much of my girl it was scary. This world can be so cruel sometimes because she was so sweet and innocent and it hurts to think that I indirectly contributed to her death. I would gladly take her place if it would bring her back.

People think that drug dealers are all money hungry scum preying on people just so they can buy designer clothes and tricked out rides but my cousin had a wife and two kids he left behind. Even though He sold heroin that brought harm to others it was because he was partially ignorant, didn't graduate from high school, didn't know the true nature of addiction and could provide a service and product that was directly requested of him. He was not a saint nor is anybody else. He lived for his family and he lived extremely modestly. He would never leave any of his regular buyers sick. I think it says a lot about his character that his customers(a lot of them became friends) took it upon themselves to hunt this guy down and dole out street justice.

He was murdered for a measly half ounce of dope and a couple thousand dollars. So many lives ruined for what amounts to peanuts in the grand scheme of things and now two kids are left behind without a dotting father. Some people would say "Oh.... he was in the game and it was the chance he took" but those same people are so quick to jump and defend addicts and drug users without realizing that drug dealers are sometimes just good people trying to support their families the only way they know how. He wasn't a cold hearted gang banger in the least bit. Now I have to look into the eyes of his sweet, innocent 2yr old daughter and try and tell her.." where daddy went." This all makes me sick to my stomach.

I am sorry if I am bumming anybody out this morning but sometimes I think we loose our humanity if we are so easily able to turn our heads and look away from such things just because it didn't happen to us or have a direct or immediate impact on our lives. How can we expect compassion and understanding with our own trials and tribulations? Empathy is the glue that holds society together. People say the world runs on greed but we would not have made it where we are today as a race or country if everyone chased their own desires unchecked and unfettered while ignoring the pains of our fellow man. It is not our ability to stand independently strong that has made us great but our ability to work together. Without empathy we would simply eat each other alive in a desperate bid to trample our way to the top and it all starts when we turn our heads just because we find something unpleasant and don't want to be bothered with trying to empathize or understand because it doesn't concern us or our interests. 

Well I got a bit off topic but I think it is a subject that is much more important than bodily fluids. A subject that is paramount to the survival and prosperity of our country "United We Stand, Divided We fall." Even the founding Fathers understood the importance of empathy. Sorry this death has really just rocked our family but we Puerto Ricans know how to stick together and we will survive. I will defend these ideals with my family, brothers, sisters, fellow addicts and Americans to the death(La familia.) I love you guys and thanks for putting up with my bullshit speech in my time of need. PEACE..........


----------



## Tommyboy

Sorry to hear about your cousin. I hate to hear about anybody getting killed and I especially hate it when a drug addict is involved since it gives many of us a bad name.  Some addicts are just really bad with their short-term thinking of just securing their next fix. But then what? Well your cousins murderer found out the hard way.

I was always praised as being less of an addict for not acting on sickness and doing whatever necessary to get my next fix.  This has of course meant going sick rather than doing something drastic to get the funds to secure more dope. While others saw this as being less of an addict I just saw it as long-term thinking to ensure that I could continue to get high. Like if I stole from my job I could get high that day, but if I got caught I wouldn't get my weekly pay to continue getting high.

I haven't really been getting high lately though, nobody has been having fun with it around me I feel, so it ruins the high when I consider everyone's situation they are in due to it. I feel like I'm the only one out of the old group that actually goes out and does shit rather than spending every last dime on dope and therefore having no money left to do anything once high.  In the winter I wouldn't mind as much but it's the summer and we aren't getting any younger.


----------



## ohshea

porkchops said:


> Hey Shea, coming from an expert on all things shitty I'll take that as a compliment. I live in the real world where things are not arbitrarily defined. I'd put some type of smile face here, but forget that.
> 
> Carl, it being in the definition means anyone described as "physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance" is addicted.
> 
> I did try to change the subject to soccer, haha I guess that wasn't the best direction.



I wear my shit-spertise as a badge of honor.




Somi- so sorry to hear about your cousin i know it isnt much condolences but at least the perp is in jail and will most likely be there awhile, which hopefully lessens the blow. Having young friends/family members die unexpectedly is the worst, most unbelievable feeling. Keep us updated hopefully the shithead takes a deal and doesnt put your family thru the agony of trial.

What you said about nasad made me laugh, it is all about cocks n vags and how hot it is in the chi...

World cup reminds me of the olympics, people pretend to be sports nuts for two weeks.

Tommy boy i feel ya about the old crowd. Most my old crowds in jail, worse off than before (and i thought a few couldnt get any worse), and a couple ODd. A few have gotten out and are doing well which i love to see. Just a reality check about the future.


----------



## Carl Landrover

Tommyboy said:


> I haven't really been getting high lately though, nobody has been having fun with it around me I feel, so it ruins the high when I consider everyone's situation they are in due to it. I feel like I'm the only one out of the old group that actually goes out and does shit rather than spending every last dime on dope and therefore having no money left to do anything once high.  In the winter I wouldn't mind as much but it's the summer and we aren't getting any younger.



Word. I was middle-manning for a bit a while back, but I stopped because it was tearing me up inside. I would be picking up stuff for friends and even though I didn't ever charge them much or make much off them I just couldn't do it anymore. I was seeing them go broke and spend their money all on dope and I was an active reason for why that was happening. Yeah, they could just ask someone else, but I didn't want to be a part of it anymore.


----------



## MemphisX3

Is chinky posting from the clink under the porkchops screen name? That kid sure is gunning for resident douchebag. Can we get this kid a trophy or something?


----------



## MemphisX3

Carl Landrover said:


> Word. I was middle-manning for a bit a while back, but I stopped because it was tearing me up inside. I would be picking up stuff for friends and even though I didn't ever charge them much or make much off them I just couldn't do it anymore. I was seeing them go broke and spend their money all on dope and I was an active reason for why that was happening. Yeah, they could just ask someone else, but I didn't want to be a part of it anymore.



Im the same way. Just cant do it anymore.


----------



## MemphisX3

somnilicious said:


> Sorry you had to lose your brotherk and best friend MMT.... Losing your brother must have been extremely difficult. Did you lose them both at around the same time? I remember the day I woke up to find my girl dead like it was yesterday and this has been bringing up old memories of all the friends I have lost over the years.
> 
> I was haunted the first time I saw the episode of Breaking Bad where Jesse wakes to find Jane in bed because she reminded me so much of my girl it was scary. This world can be so cruel sometimes because she was so sweet and innocent and it hurts to think that I indirectly contributed to her death. I would gladly take her place if it would bring her back.
> 
> People think that drug dealers are all money hungry scum preying on people just so they can buy designer clothes and tricked out rides but my cousin had a wife and two kids he left behind. Even though He sold heroin that brought harm to others it was because he was partially ignorant, didn't graduate from high school, didn't know the true nature of addiction and could provide a service and product that was directly requested of him. He was not a saint nor is anybody else. He lived for his family and he lived extremely modest. He would never leave any of his regular buyers sick. I think it says a lot about his character that his customers(a lot of them became friends) took it upon themselves to hunt this guy down and dole out street justice.
> 
> He was murdered for a measly half ounce of dope and a couple thousand dollars. So many lives ruined for what amounts to peanuts in the grand scheme of things and now two kids are left behind without a dotting father. Some people would say "Oh.... he was in the game and it was the chance he took" but those same people are so quick to jump and defend addicts and drug users without realizing that drug dealers are people trying to support their families the only way they knew how. He wasn't a cold hearted gang banger in the least bit. Now I have look into the eyes of his sweet, innocent 2yr old daughter and try to tell her.." where daddy went." This all makes me sick to my stomach.
> 
> I am sorry if I am bumming anybody out this morning but sometimes I think we loose our humanity if we are so easily able to turn our heads and look away from such things just because it didn't happen to us or have a direct or immediate impact on our lives. How can we expect compassion and understanding with our own trials and tribulations? Empathy is the glue that holds society together. People say the world runs on greed but we would not have made it where we are today as a race or country if everyone chased their own desires unchecked and unfettered while ignoring the pains of our fellow man. It is not our ability to stand independently strong that has made us great but our ability to work together. Without empathy we would simply eat each other alive in a desperate bid to trample our way to the top and it all starts when we turn our heads just because we find something unpleasant and don't want to be bothered with trying to empathize or understand because it doesn't concern us or our interests.
> 
> Well I got a bit off topic but I think it is a subject that is much more important than bodily fluids. A subject that is paramount to the survival and prosperity of our country "United We Stand, Divided We fall." Even the founding Fathers understood the importance of empathy. Sorry this death has really just rocked our family but we Puerto Ricans know how to stick together and we will survive. I will defend these ideals with my family, brothers, sisters, fellow addicts and Americans to the death(La familia.) I love you guys and thanks for putting up with my bullshit speech in my time of need. PEACE..........


I am sorry for your loss
I still check in and bullshit with a few of my old dealers. They are the type your cousin was. Good people, loyal, sometimes to a fault. They do it all for theyre family and their closest friends. They are good people. I still buy weed from 1 or 2 of them and another 2-3 i just call to shoot the shit with. None of them have pressured me to get back on dope. They all know im on methadone. They respect me and actually encourage me to get my lifr together. I have known all but 1 for 5+ years and the 1 i have known for 3. I have known one since 2006.


----------



## MMT

somnilicious said:


> Sorry you had to lose your brother and best friend MMT.... Losing your brother must have been extremely difficult. Did you lose them both at around the same time? I remember the day I woke up to find my girl dead like it was yesterday and this has been bringing up old memories of all the friends I have lost over the years.
> 
> I was haunted the first time I saw the episode of Breaking Bad where Jesse wakes to find Jane in bed because she reminded me so much of my girl it was scary. This world can be so cruel sometimes because she was so sweet and innocent and it hurts to think that I indirectly contributed to her death. I would gladly take her place if it would bring her back.
> 
> People think that drug dealers are all money hungry scum preying on people just so they can buy designer clothes and tricked out rides but my cousin had a wife and two kids he left behind. Even though He sold heroin that brought harm to others it was because he was partially ignorant, didn't graduate from high school, didn't know the true nature of addiction and could provide a service and product that was directly requested of him. He was not a saint nor is anybody else. He lived for his family and he lived extremely modest. He would never leave any of his regular buyers sick. I think it says a lot about his character that his customers(a lot of them became friends) took it upon themselves to hunt this guy down and dole out street justice.
> 
> He was murdered for a measly half ounce of dope and a couple thousand dollars. So many lives ruined for what amounts to peanuts in the grand scheme of things and now two kids are left behind without a dotting father. Some people would say "Oh.... he was in the game and it was the chance he took" but those same people are so quick to jump and defend addicts and drug users without realizing that drug dealers are people trying to support their families the only way they knew how. He wasn't a cold hearted gang banger in the least bit. Now I have look into the eyes of his sweet, innocent 2yr old daughter and try to tell her.." where daddy went." This all makes me sick to my stomach.
> 
> I am sorry if I am bumming anybody out this morning but sometimes I think we loose our humanity if we are so easily able to turn our heads and look away from such things just because it didn't happen to us or have a direct or immediate impact on our lives. How can we expect compassion and understanding with our own trials and tribulations? Empathy is the glue that holds society together. People say the world runs on greed but we would not have made it where we are today as a race or country if everyone chased their own desires unchecked and unfettered while ignoring the pains of our fellow man. It is not our ability to stand independently strong that has made us great but our ability to work together. Without empathy we would simply eat each other alive in a desperate bid to trample our way to the top and it all starts when we turn our heads just because we find something unpleasant and don't want to be bothered with trying to empathize or understand because it doesn't concern us or our interests.
> 
> Well I got a bit off topic but I think it is a subject that is much more important than bodily fluids. A subject that is paramount to the survival and prosperity of our country "United We Stand, Divided We fall." Even the founding Fathers understood the importance of empathy. Sorry this death has really just rocked our family but we Puerto Ricans know how to stick together and we will survive. I will defend these ideals with my family, brothers, sisters, fellow addicts and Americans to the death(La familia.) I love you guys and thanks for putting up with my bullshit speech in my time of need. PEACE..........



My brother was my best friend and runnin buddy.I'll never forget watching the ME taking him out in a body bag on one of those gurneys. For days,everything and everyplace just seemed black or dark to me.It's hard to explain but it just cast a pall over life itself. I know it's REALLY hard now and you're gonna have to go thru some real hard days.The pain will always be there but time has a way of blunting the sting,though it might not seem so right now. I'll be praying for ya somn.


----------



## tomatalli

I got some bags called krokodil i hipe they dont have any of that stuff in it


----------



## somnilicious

^^So what ever came of your dad, the needles and the positive drug test?


----------



## Welderman

tomatalli said:


> I got some bags called krokodil i hipe they dont have any of that stuff in it





somnilicious said:


> ^^So what ever came of your dad, the needles and the positive drug test?



Inquiring minds want to know? My life is boring so I live vicariously through you guys.


----------



## porkchops

With soccer or the olympics its more about national pride then the specific sport. U S A  U S A U S A

Memphis come on man please tell me you aren't one of those 30 year old dudes who call everyone kid, work as a waiter (while hitting on the 18 year old hostess) and send away for free toothpaste. You're better then that man.


----------



## Carl Landrover

^
I'm going to have to somewhat disagree since the US is frequently knocked out of the World Cup without getting very far.


Edit:

I must have complete addict mentality. I saw an article in the paper a few hours ago about a really big bust that happened in New Haven, which is where I typically cop. In addition to 100+ firearms, a couple of keys of coke and crack, they got 200 kilo's  (what!) of heroin. Two hundred keys! 

So naturally when I read that I figured I better get my ass down there and get some dope. The bags my guy has have been good lately and if they netted such a large amount it probably wasn't packaged in stamp bags and made street ready. If that bust effects me at all it'd probably be a bit of time before it's absence is noticed. 


Or it means that the shipment of 500 keys got through and they just lost the shipment of 200 keys.


----------



## ohshea

porkchops said:


> With soccer or the olympics its more about national pride then the specific sport. U S A  U S A U S A
> 
> Memphis come on man please tell me you aren't one of those 30 year old dudes who call everyone kid, work as a waiter (while hitting on the 18 year old hostess) and send away for free toothpaste. You're better then that man.



To quote my mom, "you have a major hair up your butt." 

I don't know where this expression originated, probably in the mind of my mother considering I have never heard it spoken anywhere else. She has a way of twisting common expressions into ones that don't really make sense. But, it's her way of saying someone is a dick, jerk, douche, etc. I guess she replaced "stick" with hair. I guess having a hair up your butt can ruffle your feathers? It really just tickles when you pull it out though. I guess guys don't experience this much, but I have long hair and when I shower the hair that sheds goes down my back and gets in my arse sometimes. When I notice it and pull it out it tickles.


 Why talk shit on someone's job? It's a way to make ends meet. Or are you just offended because memp's post hit the nail on the head about you being a douche?


haha thats funny that the bags were actually named krokodil. I like when the bags have witty or funny names. Makes me wish we had stamp bags on the west coast.


----------



## Carl Landrover

ohshea said:


> haha thats funny that the bags were actually named krokodil. I like when the bags have witty or funny names. Makes me wish we had stamp bags on the west coast.



I always thought that was funny. If I didn't do dope I wouldn't know anything about stamp bags or how they have names (well maybe I'd have an idea after _American Gangster_). It's sort of one of those things that you only get if you're in the heroin culture. Some of them are pretty funny/clever. 

I remember a few times getting ones with real nice graphics and nice lettering. You would think that the dope would be good in a bag that is of better quality, but it wasn't. The quality of the appearance of the bag doesn't usually mean much. Just the style (length, width, way it's folded, if it has an outer wrapper, etc.) will give you more of an indication where it's from. This will give you somewhat of an idea of how it'll be, but the potency always varies. 

One of my favorite graphics was of a stick figure man at a gas pump holding the gas pumping device? (the nozzle?) in his hand. Under the graphic it said "Diesel". It was cute.


----------



## porkchops

Carl Landrover said:


> ^
> I'm going to have to somewhat disagree since the US is frequently knocked out of the World Cup without getting very far.



Not really true considering they've been through to the knockout stage in 3 out of the last 4 World Cups, including the quarterfinals in 2002.


----------



## Carl Landrover

porkchops said:


> Not really true considering they've been through to the knockout stage in 3 out of the last 4 World Cups, including the quarterfinals in 2002.



You love to argue.

The knockout stage doesn't mean much. The first knockout stage, where we lost in 2010 is in a round of 16. 

Didn't make the knockout stage in 2006.

2002 made it to the second knockout stage, fairly respectable showing. 

1998 didn't make the knockout stage. 

1994 (when it was in our own freaking country!) we only made it to the first round of knockout.


It doesn't get any better as you go further back.

For a country that puts so much time and effort into sports and has such elaborate leagues we really don't do well on the world stage in soccer. Again, we have not done well in World Cup setting. We did ok in 2002. All these past years we have not.

If you want to tout national pride, then 1994 just doesn't make any sense. France won the World Cup when they hosted. France!


----------



## Tommyboy

Carl Landrover said:


> I always thought that was funny. If I didn't do dope I wouldn't know anything about stamp bags or how they have names (well maybe I'd have an idea after _American Gangster_). It's sort of one of those things that you only get if you're in the heroin culture. Some of them are pretty funny/clever.
> 
> I remember a few times getting ones with real nice graphics and nice lettering. You would think that the dope would be good in a bag that is of better quality, but it wasn't. The quality of the appearance of the bag doesn't usually mean much. Just the style (length, width, way it's folded, if it has an outer wrapper, etc.) will give you more of an indication where it's from. This will give you somewhat of an idea of how it'll be, but the potency always varies.
> 
> One of my favorite graphics was of a stick figure man at a gas pump holding the gas pumping device? (the nozzle?) in his hand. Under the graphic it said "Diesel". It was cute.



One of my favorite stamps (both in quality and appearance) was this 'glory' stamp that said it in a cloud with rays of sunshine around it. The ink was pink and I got that stamp for years. It was pretty much always fire, and dropped down to average dope here and there but usually always the same good dope.  

I had met someone in detox that was getting that bag with his friends, and he said that they were all about it, and some even spoke about getting the stamp tattoo.  I thought that was a bit extreme, but it looked really cool and wasn't drug specific so it could make a cool tattoo. 

Those bags were so solid though. I remember when they were around but we also had other connects closer my boy would ask if I needed anything and I would be like yea I'll drop $50, but then if he said he was going to get 'glory' I would up my order to basically all my available dope funds.  This stuff had people with moderate tolerances dropping from doing 2 baggers.  It was on par with the best stuff I was getting from Brooklyn, but this stuff was out of a worse spot in Queens.  The few times our guy ran out he would always be able to grab some bags for us from someone else in his project building since so many people around there are slinging. 

The guy was an OG though, so you didn't want to piss him off. He was like just under 50 and would almost dress like a pimp and I saw him straight up bitch-slap someone whose money wasn't right. He didn't give deals on bags and would never front you, but sometimes if you were a little short when you got to him he would let you owe him, but next time you saw him he would just take out for it. 'I like a man who pays his debts' was what he said once when he just gave us less when my one boy owed him. He knew some of us were friends and the dick would sometimes short one of us out of what the other friend owed, even if we hadn't seen the friend in a bit.  

He's in jail now and his boy that finally got paroled for a murder he did as a teen is running things for him. He's a way nicer guy all things considered, but he isn't as professional as the original guy. I guess that's the trade-off though.

The only other complaint I had about them was that they would have us meet them right next to a police precinct and would do the deal in the wide open. The one dude would actually count the money up in the air.  Being white kids in the hood everyone would be looking at us.  One time the dude that took over was standing there waiting for us which looked so shady, then leaned into the car to do the deal and right when we pulled away a white guy in a jeep pulled behind us so we thought we were done, and I hear the dealer yelling to us 'put that shit up' meaning stick it in our ass crack.  Luckily it was either a fireman or something because we didn't get stopped, but I did get popped there a different time and it was just for being white in the hood as the cops never saw the deal and actually told us that they were looking for guns when they stopped us.  

The area is consistently in the top 5 for gun violence and there had just been a murder there recently so they were cracking down at the time.  It's one of the last true shitholes left in NY so there is tons of dirt going on there so if you are white you are just asking to get pulled over there. Worst place I have copped in hands down, and I do not miss copping there.  Those cops talked so much shit to us that even the black dudes were getting pissed about it. Also a black detective told us that in his 20 years working there he had never seen white boys locked up in that precinct, which didn't make us feel any better.  What did make us feel better was the fact that they missed the 18 bags on my boy when they strip searched us (probably since I was acting up so much that they thought it was on me so searched me more than them) so we were able to get high while locked up. They still planted a bag on us though in order to get the arrest. When they came back to process us and we asked the charge and they said poss of a controlled substance for a bag of heroin I told them that was bullshit and asked the stamp on the bag (since my boy only had that car for a few weeks and the only stamp we had gotten during that time was 'glory') but they had no answer.


----------



## ohshea

^thats crooked as fuck, were you able to beat the charge or take a deal or what happened?

Yea its always a sweet lil victory when they dont find your shit. Used to keep it in my bra but started tucking it away after a female cop found it during a stop while i was on foot. I was getting picked up for a warrant once and had just picked up a gram and they didnt find it. It was the evening so all yhe girls in the holding tank were waiting to be brought downstairs and were all sleeping w the blanketsiver their faces. I had a bottle cap in my pocket they didnt take and mixed my dope up in it while i wasunder the blanket and snorted it. Ended up getting released on O.R. luckily the next morning at 6am and they had to kick me to wake me up i was in such a nice sleep. 

Yea the major dope spot in downtown LA is right next to the downtown LAPD precinct. Its the biggest open air in LA. I guess the cops are so outnumbered they just let it fly. I mean they make arrests every once in awhile to give the impression theyre in control, but they dont got a hand on it like they think (or wish). 

I was in NY back in 09. I was there the day Michael Jackson died. Within hours people were out on the street w buttons and shirts. Shit was funny. I wanna go back and explore their dope scene. Theres just so many fuckin people everywhere and I hate crowded places.


----------



## Felonious Monk

somnilicious said:


> People think that drug dealers are all money hungry scum preying on people just so they can buy designer clothes and tricked out rides but my cousin had a wife and two kids he left behind. Even though He sold heroin that brought harm to others it was because he was partially ignorant, didn't graduate from high school, didn't know the true nature of addiction and could provide a service and product that was directly requested of him. He was not a saint nor is anybody else. He lived for his family and he lived extremely modestly. He would never leave any of his regular buyers sick. I think it says a lot about his character that his customers(a lot of them became friends) took it upon themselves to hunt this guy down and dole out street justice.



I'm sorry for your loss somn, your cousin sounds like a really solid guy.  Some "careers," like hard drug salesman, do stereotypically attract a certain person, but not exclusively by any account.  In my mind, it's often the customers who are worse than the dealer.  The supplier is taking on some responsibility at least, and you'd have to be a cruel heartless pos to get people addicted just for more customers.  It's terrible that his life was ended that way.  The moral people who do what they need to do are the best ones around, and some day we'll wonder why we so crazy to banish the pharmacists and invite the clandestine.



ohshea said:


> Tommy boy i feel ya about the old crowd. Most my old crowds in jail, worse off than before (and i thought a few couldnt get any worse), and a couple ODd. A few have gotten out and are doing well which i love to see. Just a reality check about the future.



Yeah, I saw that in some of friends too, fortunately not my friends from growing up and college as much as other random people I've met along the way (especially in rehab, but I guess that's to be expected).


----------



## Tommyboy

ohshea said:


> ^thats crooked as fuck, were you able to beat the charge or take a deal or what happened?
> 
> Yea its always a sweet lil victory when they dont find your shit. Used to keep it in my bra but started tucking it away after a female cop found it during a stop while i was on foot. I was getting picked up for a warrant once and had just picked up a gram and they didnt find it. It was the evening so all yhe girls in the holding tank were waiting to be brought downstairs and were all sleeping w the blanketsiver their faces. I had a bottle cap in my pocket they didnt take and mixed my dope up in it while i wasunder the blanket and snorted it. Ended up getting released on O.R. luckily the next morning at 6am and they had to kick me to wake me up i was in such a nice sleep.
> 
> Yea the major dope spot in downtown LA is right next to the downtown LAPD precinct. Its the biggest open air in LA. I guess the cops are so outnumbered they just let it fly. I mean they make arrests every once in awhile to give the impression theyre in control, but they dont got a hand on it like they think (or wish).
> 
> I was in NY back in 09. I was there the day Michael Jackson died. Within hours people were out on the street w buttons and shirts. Shit was funny. I wanna go back and explore their dope scene. Theres just so many fuckin people everywhere and I hate crowded places.



They dropped it down to a violation the first time I saw the judge. That's just how it is in the city. If you only have misdemeanors there you are walking the next day, even with priors.


----------



## Carl Landrover

It's late Thursday night or early Friday morning, depending on how you want to call it (3:24am). So early today (Thursday) I had bought heroin for Thursday. Then because I was going to be busy tomorrow (Friday) and Saturday and my guy had good dope I decided to go pick up bags for Friday and Saturday. I was going to have these bags for these two days and then I was going to take sub on Sunday. 

So it's now 3:26am and I only have enough left to get through Friday. If I save any for Saturday it's going to make Friday a bit bumpy and I wouldn't have much for Saturday, so now I'm basically forced to pick up again tomorrow since I won't have time to on Saturday.

Every time I buy for more than one day ahead I always end up using a lot that night and still end up having to pick up on the day I was trying to not pick up on. Quite frustrating and expensive. Now I have to buy more gas too. 8)


----------



## Welderman

Carl Landrover said:


> It's late Thursday night or early Friday morning, depending on how you want to call it (3:24am). So early today (Thursday) I had bought heroin for Thursday. Then because I was going to be busy tomorrow (Friday) and Saturday and my guy had good dope I decided to go pick up bags for Friday and Saturday. I was going to have these bags for these two days and then I was going to take sub on Sunday.
> 
> So it's now 3:26am and I only have enough left to get through Friday. If I save any for Saturday it's going to make Friday a bit bumpy and I wouldn't have much for Saturday, so now I'm basically forced to pick up again tomorrow since I won't have time to on Saturday.
> 
> Every time I buy for more than one day ahead I always end up using a lot that night and still end up having to pick up on the day I was trying to not pick up on. Quite frustrating and expensive. Now I have to buy more gas too. 8)


It happens to all of us dope heads. I would do that too buy enough on Thursday to last till Monday after work. And I would be almost out Friday night. I feel your pain man.


----------



## Carl Landrover

"What? No, I'm not on drugs. Falling asleep while standing on your feet in the bathroom is totally normal"


----------



## Welderman

^ "yeah boss man I didn't sleep good the last few nights I'm not on dope".


----------



## porkchops

Carl Landrover said:


> You love to argue.
> 
> For a country that puts so much time and effort into sports and has such elaborate leagues we really don't do well on the world stage in soccer.



Haha, and you don't?

All the different sports and leagues we have is the reason we aren't better at soccer. All our best athletes play football or basketball. In other countries everyone plays soccer.


----------



## ohshea

Tommyboy said:


> They dropped it down to a violation the first time I saw the judge. That's just how it is in the city. If you only have misdemeanors there you are walking the next day, even with priors.



Yea thats what I love about LA, you walk out as soon as you see the judge (which is about a two day wait which sucks. If you get arrested on thursday sometimes dont see the judge until tuesday). Posession charges aint no thang here. Did meetings and got mine knocked off my record and case closed. Its the total opposite where i grew up in alaska. Got a posession charge and spent awhile in jail over a fuckin needle. ONE dirty rig. Was going to go to trial but got antsy and took the deal. Got fucked w a felony for a rig just so i could get out.

I havent done dope in several days. By the night time im too tired to hit myself and just go to sleep. It feels amazing waking up w energy and not in some deep dark sleepy coma all day. I will probably use tonight though.


----------



## Carl Landrover

porkchops said:


> Haha, and you don't?
> 
> All the different sports and leagues we have is the reason we aren't better at soccer. All our best athletes play football or basketball. In other countries everyone plays soccer.



I don't really like arguing, you just keep replying with incorrect rebuttals. If I didn't know about this then I would not reply.

You should have just stopped when you said that making it to the knockout round was something to be proud of. That's just LOL worthy. I was trying to think of an appropriate analogy and the best I could think of was that would be like saying, "Well I didn't end up getting a date to prom, but my mom thinks I'm handsome". 

The reason why we're not good at soccer has nothing to do with what we were talking about. My original point was for how much everyone seems to like soccer during the World Cup the US has never had a great showing on the world stage. You haven't refuted that, nor can you, and we're dancing around that onto other topics that don't have to do with that original point. 

Anyways, the reasons you put aren't good reasons. We have plenty of soccer leagues. We have town leagues, We have select, travel, and premiere leagues. We have high school teams. We have college teams. We have a professional soccer league. Plus, the build for our best football and basketball players isn't the same build as someone playing soccer.


----------



## somnilicious

Well things have been a little rough for me lately as you guys may well know. I have been numbing myself everyday since my cousin was killed. I made an appointment for the doctor on Monday to see about getting back on Mdone for a while and to get a small benzo script to have on hand. I don't wan't to get hooked on benzos again but they will be useful to have around. I will probably try to get my 40mgs per day of Mdone again. Thank you guys so much for all your support. It has meant so much to me. 

Another individual was picked up in connection with the murder. I guess the one guy wasn't working alone. I will keep you guys up dated as I find out more. Once again thank you so much. I will post back again when I am not so busy. Wish me luck with getting my Mdone script back. -Somni


----------



## porkchops

The reason there was no direct response was because I didn't want to argue, but reading what you wrote I don't think you know yourself too well. Getting to the knockout stage is a huge deal. Considering over 165 countries attempt to qualify it means we are in the top ten percent of teams. That's like making the AFC/NFC conference championship game. Italy, England and Portugal didn't even make it this year. Our best athletes don't play soccer. In other countries they do. If our best played soccer we would win a World Cup. Fuck man its that simple. 


Somnilicious, it seems like the police are on top of things, I'll say a little prayer for you and your family.


----------



## Carl Landrover

I'm sorry but you're way off. The US team isn't proud of just making it to the knockout stage, nor should they be. You're just way off base on this. 

I'm not speculating. That isn't that great of an achievement. When i get home i could further explain why but there is no point if you seriously believe otherwise.



Edit:
Oh man. I just read your full post. If you think the reason we haven't won is because our top athletes are playing other sports, and if they had played soccer instead we would have won....well you're just clueless man. That is either borderline delusional or you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the sports. You're beyond rationalizing with


----------



## porkchops

No competitor would be happy with anything expect the championship. However, if you don't think that Klinsmann and the rest are breathing easier now that they made the round of 16 you're wrong man.

What don't you get about the fact our best athletes don't play soccer and that is the main reason we aren't one of the best? Do you not understand this? Its an extremely easy concept. 

What do you do for a living?


----------



## Jabberwocky

somnilicious said:


> Well things have been a little rough for me lately as you guys may well know. I have been numbing myself everyday since my cousin was killed. I made an appointment for the doctor on Monday to see about getting back on Mdone for a while and to get a small benzo script to have on hand. I don't wan't to get hooked on benzos again but they will be useful to have around. I will probably try to get my 40mgs per day of Mdone again. Thank you guys so much for all your support. It has meant so much to me.
> 
> Another individual was picked up in connection with the murder. I guess the one guy wasn't working alone. I will keep you guys up dated as I find out more. Once again thank you so much. I will post back again when I am not so busy. Wish me luck with getting my Mdone script back. -Somni



I am sorry for your loss, man.. I truly feel for you here! had a similar situation happen in the past and lost a friend which led me to a nasty drug run which almost led me to killing myself (unintentionally). it was my friends family who had a sit w/ me saying that my friend who passed would NOT have wanted to see me go that way and they truly did help; of course, since then, I started to use and use HARD again but it has nothing to do w/ him passing and just me being the addict that I am. please stay strong man and do your best; I know being an addict is NOT EASY and we have to WANT TO STAY CLEAN but try your best and realize your friend would not want to see you pass as well. 

I started my methadone treatment the other day and they only started me on 20MG dosage, which is extremely low coming from a gram+ day habit. so I am still using on top of the methadone and they are well aware and are OK w/ that.. which I DONT UNDERSTAND but I guess that is what they have to do. really makes no sense to me, nor will it ever, but thats how it is for everyone I guess. 

here you have an addict telling you he does 1-2grams of dope a day, even more if he had the cash, and needs help, but you ONLY give him 20MG to start because that is the standard? and you know I will go use more and be sick w/ that 20MG and are OK w/ me going to score dope and get high? why? ugh. 

best of luck, man. and again, sorry for what happened to your friend. I wish you nothing but the best.


----------



## Carl Landrover

porkchops said:


> What don't you get about the fact our best athletes don't play soccer and that is the main reason we aren't one of the best? Do you not understand this? Its an extremely easy concept.



Hahahaha that's so just wrong

Why would the top football players be able to be the best soccer players? Or baseball or basketball or hockey, etc? Different body types are better for different sports. Different skill sets are needed for different sports. You have noticed that you don't use your hands in soccer, save for throw-ins and the goalie, yet they are used greatly in those other sports. 

I'm sure a 300lb linebacker would be able to cover the 10+ miles a pro soccer player will cover during a 90minute game. 

Delusions or lack of understanding of fundamentals.



And what is going on in this World Cup has no bearing on this conversation. Again, for the umpteenth time, just making the knockout round is not anything anyone on the US team is going to be proud about. Yes, making it there would mean they're happy that they are still in contention, but just making it there really isn't all that great.



Edit: 

Not being a dick or anything, but have you ever been on a team? Have you ever been on a championship team or a team that was very successful? A successful team has a lot more components to it than merely putting together skilled individuals.


----------



## Tommyboy

ohshea said:


> Yea thats what I love about LA, you walk out as soon as you see the judge (which is about a two day wait which sucks. If you get arrested on thursday sometimes dont see the judge until tuesday). Posession charges aint no thang here. Did meetings and got mine knocked off my record and case closed. Its the total opposite where i grew up in alaska. Got a posession charge and spent awhile in jail over a fuckin needle. ONE dirty rig. Was going to go to trial but got antsy and took the deal. Got fucked w a felony for a rig just so i could get out.
> 
> I havent done dope in several days. By the night time im too tired to hit myself and just go to sleep. It feels amazing waking up w energy and not in some deep dark sleepy coma all day. I will probably use tonight though.



Yea it took me longer to see the judge in NYC than it did in the suburbs.  In the suburbs I was one of like 20 people that went to see the judge in the morning. Actually there were like 15 females as well.

But in the city there were way more people and we were moved around through various 'bullpens' as the frequent flyers called them, so there were like 100 of us that were separated probably by severity of the crime (people with misdemeanor charges in one of several 'bullpens' for that, and different ones for the felony charges. Then there were female ones too.

We had gotten picked up at like 11am on a weekday and didn't see the judge until the following night.  The third kid being charged with us was diabetic and needed insulin so they brought him to the hospital and so he was another day behind us.  After being released we had to go back to the precinct to get the car (another benefit of NYC since they would have impounded the car in the burbs and it would have been a few hundred to get it out) and we saw him being moved into the van where he would be brought back to court so me and my friend were yelling to him that the charge was going to be dropped down to a violation and so to not say shit, which the detectives didn't like since we were basically telling all of them that if the only had misdemeanors they would be walking out the next day.  

That reminds me of how shitty of an area it was that we were copping in.  The detectives actually took some part out of my friends car to prevent it from starting so it couldn't be stolen (they gave it right back when we got out) but keep in mind that the car was being kept in the parking lot of the police precinct, and apparently the people in that hood don't care and would steal the car from there anyway.



somnilicious said:


> Well things have been a little rough for me lately as you guys may well know. I have been numbing myself everyday since my cousin was killed. I made an appointment for the doctor on Monday to see about getting back on Mdone for a while and to get a small benzo script to have on hand. I don't wan't to get hooked on benzos again but they will be useful to have around. I will probably try to get my 40mgs per day of Mdone again. Thank you guys so much for all your support. It has meant so much to me.
> 
> Another individual was picked up in connection with the murder. I guess the one guy wasn't working alone. I will keep you guys up dated as I find out more. Once again thank you so much. I will post back again when I am not so busy. Wish me luck with getting my Mdone script back. -Somni



What's their policy with benzos? A lot of clinics have zero tolerance for them.  Anyway be careful.  I'm coming up on one year off of benzos next week, and that was after using them daily since 2005 so I'm pretty proud of being able to get off of them after having used them every single day (minus maybe 7 days total in all those years) and having to worry about having my script each month. God I don't miss benzo dependence. At least with opiates you don't have to fear death if you can't get any. Sheesh. 



Carl Landrover said:


> Hahahaha that's so just wrong
> 
> Why would the top football players be able to be the best soccer players? Or baseball or basketball or hockey, etc? Different body types are better for different sports. Different skill sets are needed for different sports. You have noticed that you don't use your hands in soccer, save for throw-ins and the goalie, yet they are used greatly in those other sports.
> 
> I'm sure a 300lb linebacker would be able to cover the 10+ miles a pro soccer player will cover during a 90minute game.
> 
> Delusions or lack of understanding of fundamentals.
> 
> 
> 
> And what is going on in this World Cup has no bearing on this conversation. Again, for the umpteenth time, just making the knockout round is not anything anyone on the US team is going to be proud about. Yes, making it there would mean they're happy that they are still in contention, but just making it there really isn't all that great.
> 
> 
> 
> Edit:
> 
> Not being a dick or anything, but have you ever been on a team? Have you ever been on a championship team or a team that was very successful? A successful team has a lot more components to it than merely putting together skilled individuals.



I agree with you.  His argument may hold water with some other sports (like football / lacrosse) but not with soccer.


----------



## Carl Landrover

So speaking of heroin...

Heroin.


----------



## MMT

Carl,around 1987 I was working as a phone man doing badge deals. We were doin East Haven Firefighters Ass. and cold callin into New Haven. I got a convienence store owner on the phone ,pitchin him,etc. when here starts complaining about all the drug dealers around his store. Well,you know what happened next. I double checked the address,got directions(and weird looks) from the firemen and off we went. Found the place which was like a one-way square and as we turned the 3rd corner there it was. The funny thing is the brick wall they were all leaning back on was painted yellow and I remember thinking that they all looked like a bunch of flies caught on those yellow fly strips.It was hilarious. We had found our new spot,wrapped up the East Haven gig in about 6 weeks,managed to leave with decent a roll and it was off to Southington,which has its own stories.


----------



## porkchops

Carl Landrover said:


> Not being a dick or anything, but have you ever been on a team? Have you ever been on a championship team or a team that was very successful? A successful team has a lot more components to it than merely putting together skilled individuals.



I played D1 lacrosse. We weren't championship caliber, but did play teams which were (Duke, Virginia, 'Cuse, Notre Dame.) We all had probably been playing the same amount of time and put in the same amount of work. Those teams just had a higher concentration of great athletes.

Take someone like LeSean McCoy or Chris Johnson and give them a soccer ball in grade school...

Tommyboy I thought you'd have my back on this one.


----------



## somnilicious

I caved in like a bitch and went back to my private Mdone doctor. He could no longer give me 120 10mgs a month. So I got 90 10mgs a month or 30mgs a day and 2mgs of xanax a day as needed. The FDA/DEA is cracking down and they can no longer prescribe methadone for pain to new patients at this particular pain clinic. It had only been 6 months since I last saw him so I still qualified as an existing patient. It has already helped me in dealing with the loss of my cousin and my boss was praising my work production today as I put us way ahead of schedule on our recent project. I will definitely enjoy my methadone induced sleep tonight. I will probably sleep better than I have in months. Thank you guys for all of your support it has meant a lot to me during this difficult time. I love all of my fellow junkies and my beloved cousin Prieto. I hope he is livin' it up in heaven and I plan on seeing him tonight as I enter my methadone induced coma and sleep like the Gods for the first time in 6 months. Thank you guys so much for being there for me and I just wanted to let you know that the bastards that got the jump on you and shot and robbed you from behind like a bunch of junky cowards are going to get theirs here on earth and when ever they find the hell that awaits them in the here after. 

I plan on using the benzos sparingly because I don't want to pick up another benzo dependence again but for now I am definitely happy to have my prescriptions back. My desire to cop has already gone right out the window and I already feel my life normalizing and I am not even stable yet. It feels fantastic to sleep like a God and finally be free from the constant cravings. Plus after what happened to my cousin my mother, aunt and girl have made me swear off dope and honestly without methadone I don't know if that would be possible. I love all you guys and especially my beloved Prieto. WoW! This methadone and xanax has me feeling relaxed and divine. Time to nod off with a few bong swats and dream of my new future and the infinite possibilities that methadone and my new confidence now make seem possible. I feel like I can do anything right now. Why did I ever get off this stuff? No more cravings gumming up all my mental faculties. 

Time to start living.....


----------



## Carl Landrover

MMT said:


> Carl,around 1987 I was working as a phone man doing badge deals. We were doin East Haven Firefighters Ass. and cold callin into New Haven. I got a convienence store owner on the phone ,pitchin him,etc. when here starts complaining about all the drug dealers around his store. Well,you know what happened next. I double checked the address,got directions(and weird looks) from the firemen and off we went. Found the place which was like a one-way square and as we turned the 3rd corner there it was. The funny thing is the brick wall they were all leaning back on was painted yellow and I remember thinking that they all looked like a bunch of flies caught on those yellow fly strips.It was hilarious. We had found our new spot,wrapped up the East Haven gig in about 6 weeks,managed to leave with decent a roll and it was off to Southington,which has its own stories.



Hey I lived in East Haven in 1987! Of course I was only 1 at the time. Lived two blocks from the beach. Poor neighborhood, but I had fun memories. My mom was a single parent just trying to make ends meet and she did a good job to make sure I had fun, but kept me out of trouble. I think she described our street as alcoholics on one end, the child abusing parents across the street, some old foreign people, and drug dealers at the other end. Ah memories. 





porkchops said:


> I played D1 lacrosse. We weren't championship caliber, but did play teams which were (Duke, Virginia, 'Cuse, Notre Dame.) We all had probably been playing the same amount of time and put in the same amount of work. Those teams just had a higher concentration of great athletes.
> 
> Take someone like LeSean McCoy or Chris Johnson and give them a soccer ball in grade school...
> 
> Tommyboy I thought you'd have my back on this one.



Maybe some people are agreeing with you and not piping in, but athletes playing other sports isn't the reason for the US having difficulty on the world stage. Maybe it's a small part of it, but it's just not accurate, so there's a reason he and others are not backing that theory. Can we just drop this? Or are we just going to keep going back and forth with passive aggressive comments. "Oooh I thought you'd have my back. Oooh". 

Go look through my 8000 other posts. I don't have back and forth arguments like this because I'm not going to take a strong stand on something unless I'm pretty damn sure of it. I've got 9 years of not getting into these petty disagreements, so I'm fresh and ready for one. Keep bringing it if you want, but you have yet to present any strong, clear, concise points except to keep altering what the argument is. 


So, again. Speaking of heroin...

Heroin.


----------



## porkchops

Carl Landrover said:


> Or are we just going to keep going back and forth with passive aggressive comments. "Oooh I thought you'd have my back. Oooh".
> 
> So, again. Speaking of heroin...
> 
> Heroin.



Huh? I was just trying to get him to expand on his thought.

Fuck heroin. What else can be said about it? Honestly, does anyone have anything novel to add?



somnilicious said:


> Time to start living.....



Awesome man. 

Sorry if you've answered this already, but how did you get methadone from your private doctor? Do you just have a good relationship with him? I've got an upcoming suboxone appointment and if it not for the convenience I'd much rather be on the 'done.


----------



## cj

porkchops said:


> I played D1 lacrosse. We weren't championship caliber, but did play teams which were (Duke, Virginia, 'Cuse, Notre Dame.) We all had probably been playing the same amount of time and put in the same amount of work. Those teams just had a higher concentration of great athletes.
> 
> Take someone like LeSean McCoy or Chris Johnson and give them a soccer ball in grade school...
> 
> Tommyboy I thought you'd have my back on this one.


I agree with you. Our best athletes gravitate towards the sports with the most money NFL,NBA. If Lebron was raised to be a soccer player from 7 years old he would be a great one no doubt.


----------



## somnilicious

porkchops said:


> Huh? I was just trying to get him to expand on his thought.
> 
> Fuck heroin. What else can be said about it? Honestly, does anyone have anything novel to add?
> 
> 
> 
> Awesome man.
> 
> Sorry if you've answered this already, but how did you get methadone from your private doctor? Do you just have a good relationship with him? I've got an upcoming suboxone appointment and if it not for the convenience I'd much rather be on the 'done.



I was born missing half a vertebrae but I have a great relationship with him because I haven't even given him an MRI in the 4 -5 years I have been going to him. I could but I just didn't want to pay for one and he hasn't pushed the issue.

You can't tell that I am missing the vertebrae. It just gives me some pain. My job is physically demanding and I get sharp pain when I am trying to sleep, which turns me into an insomniac and ruins my life. I already feel a lot better. This weight has been lifted from my shoulder. I can sleep, I have energy, motivation, confidence so I am definitely glad I decided to start taking it again.


----------



## Carl Landrover

crimsonjunk said:


> I agree with you. Our best athletes gravitate towards the sports with the most money NFL,NBA. If Lebron was raised to be a soccer player from 7 years old he would be a great one no doubt.



Ok, he could have been a good soccer player, even though that's still questionable, but world caliber level? This would make us better than everyone else in the world? I'm sure he had plenty of chances to play soccer. It's not for everyone.

It's not like soccer is the sole sport in other countries. It's the most popular in some, but not all of them. We're losing to African teams that don't have soccer as their top sport that don't have anywhere near the population we have. 

There's so much more to a world caliber team than getting a few skilled players.



porkchops said:


> Huh? I was just trying to get him to expand on his thought.
> 
> Fuck heroin. What else can be said about it? Honestly, does anyone have anything novel to add?



Why are you posting in this thread. Do you know the thread title? Fuck heroin? Fuck you. Go post on a thread that relates to you.


----------



## RTrain

Well back on the Suboxone today, been riding out an approximately 3 month long stint of everyday use after a similarly long stint of using basically nothing but Suboxone. Not really been BL'ing too much, but I figured I'd write something here about my recent heroin use. Dug my financial situation into an even greater whole (which was not an easy task), accumalating more debt than ever before, but still someway making all my payments. Though some are a little late, like my student loans which I am waiting until tomo to pay because I'd overdraw my acct 2 more times, they were only due Saturday and its like the first or second time I've been late depending on the loan, so i doubt they drop the hammer on me for it. As it is, I am overdrawing the account for like the 3rd or 4th time week a row and so by so much $ this time that my paycheck, along with the student loan payments, will leave me with somewhere in the $100 range in my account after the paycheck clears on Thursday. The bank must love me, I am like $29 in their pocket every week, if not more. 

I am happy to report the Subs are working pretty well, way better than I expected. I actually have some energy and just really only issues are soreness, anhedonia, lack of appetite(but strong hunger for coffee) and, of course, cravings. Go figure I hit $200 on scratch ticket yesterday morning, too, but I held my composure to not get more dope, because it wouldn't last me long enough and I'd run out the day before work, and I don't wanna be sick at work, that is the goal in terms of timing things out. Plus I got shit to do this month and I would like to be settled on the Subs, have some money in the bank, and in general have my shit together to some extent, my godson's baptism the 20th and a wedding the 25th (nothing special, just a friend who I wasn't even sure would've invited me, but it was cool he did).

Took my first Sub, 4 mg, this morning at 930, Last use was yesterday at 4pm, but I barely used any yesterday. I had a small amount left, like basically what I'd take to get my initial morning high. Instead I did like 2/3 of it, went to some retirement party at work, came back, did the rest. Actually did most at 3pm, but had a few tiny lines left that I finished off at 4. I was planning to start the subs yesterday, but with that little bit left and wanting to attend the work party, I did it. It may have actually made the transition easier. It was 17 hours after that last bit I used when I took the Subs, but I wasn't really high from it and what I did was like 20% a normal  days use. So I think that made the transition. And yesterday didn't suck only having that little bit to use, I didn't really enjoy the day, but not like a 'put a bullet in my head' kind of day. I actually crashed for bed early at about 9-930 and slept a full 8 hours, woke up kicking, sweating, eyes watering and all that. Took some benzos, slept 2 more hours, woke up and did the Sub. Well I am happy to be moving in the right direction, I know the real struggle is keeping my head on straight, but got a lot to lose if i don't, so there is motivation.


----------



## Tommyboy

porkchops said:


> I played D1 lacrosse. We weren't championship caliber, but did play teams which were (Duke, Virginia, 'Cuse, Notre Dame.) We all had probably been playing the same amount of time and put in the same amount of work. Those teams just had a higher concentration of great athletes.
> 
> Take someone like LeSean McCoy or Chris Johnson and give them a soccer ball in grade school...
> 
> Tommyboy I thought you'd have my back on this one.



I just don't think that soccer is a sport where being a good athlete translates into being a good player.  Having great ball control with your legs/feet isn't something that any great athlete can just pick up.  If I were to pick basketball players that might make good soccer players it would be point guards though. LeBron James is probably too big to make a good soccer player imo.  

Michael Jordan was the best basketball player ever and when he tried to cross over to baseball (which he had experience playing) he wasn't an MLB caliber player although he was given a shot.  Actually he may have deserved the shot but he would never be able to represent our nation in the sport.  So while some athletes might have been good at the sport if they had switched at a young age or had just played soccer since they were young, I doubt any of them would qualify as leaders in the sport.

I just don't see how football or basketball skills translate over to soccer. It's a poor example. If you said great hockey players could probably do well with lacrosse then I would be more inclined to agree with you. Or if you said that we would have better lacrosse players if so many people that were great at football and lacrosse in high school stuck with lacrosse rather than football then I'd have to agree with that since it's actually a common occurrence.


----------



## smokemctoke420

BostonBrownTown said:


> I am sorry for your loss, man.. I truly feel for you here! had a similar situation happen in the past and lost a friend which led me to a nasty drug run which almost led me to killing myself (unintentionally). it was my friends family who had a sit w/ me saying that my friend who passed would NOT have wanted to see me go that way and they truly did help; of course, since then, I started to use and use HARD again but it has nothing to do w/ him passing and just me being the addict that I am. please stay strong man and do your best; I know being an addict is NOT EASY and we have to WANT TO STAY CLEAN but try your best and realize your friend would not want to see you pass as well.
> 
> I started my methadone treatment the other day and they only started me on 20MG dosage, which is extremely low coming from a gram+ day habit. so I am still using on top of the methadone and they are well aware and are OK w/ that.. which I DONT UNDERSTAND but I guess that is what they have to do. really makes no sense to me, nor will it ever, but thats how it is for everyone I guess.
> 
> here you have an addict telling you he does 1-2grams of dope a day, even more if he had the cash, and needs help, but you ONLY give him 20MG to start because that is the standard? and you know I will go use more and be sick w/ that 20MG and are OK w/ me going to score dope and get high? why? ugh.
> 
> best of luck, man. and again, sorry for what happened to your friend. I wish you nothing but the best.



because if a little shithead said his habit was a gram of dope a day and say he got started at 50mgs and fell out cuz he was'nt using a gram of dope a day but just 40mgs of oxy a day. that clinic would be in some shit.


----------



## crzydiamond

RTrain said:


> Well back on the Suboxone today, been riding out an approximately 3 month long stint of everyday use after a similarly long stint of using basically nothing but Suboxone. Not really been BL'ing too much, but I figured I'd write something here about my recent heroin use. Dug my financial situation into an even greater whole (which was not an easy task), accumalating more debt than ever before, but still someway making all my payments. Though some are a little late, like my student loans which I am waiting until tomo to pay because I'd overdraw my acct 2 more times, they were only due Saturday and its like the first or second time I've been late depending on the loan, so i doubt they drop the hammer on me for it. As it is, I am overdrawing the account for like the 3rd or 4th time week a row and so by so much $ this time that my paycheck, along with the student loan payments, will leave me with somewhere in the $100 range in my account after the paycheck clears on Thursday. The bank must love me, I am like $29 in their pocket every week, if not more.
> .




You should try Woodforest  Bank--the one in Walmart. If you overdraw they never ever charge a fee. Just have to bring your balance to positive before they'll cash a check or anything. But there is none of that $6 per day crap.


----------



## porkchops

Tommyboy said:


> Or if you said that we would have better lacrosse players if so many people that were great at football and lacrosse in high school stuck with lacrosse rather than football then I'd have to agree with that since it's actually a common occurrence.



Most of the (white) guys I played with all choose lacrosse over football because it basically comes down to DIII football (and getting no scholarship money) or DI lacrosse (and getting partial scholarship, very rare to see full tuition freshman year - basically you have a meeting with the head coach at the end of each season where you can attempt to get more money.) Plus there is less wear on your body, you make awesome connections (most guys come from private high schools with their father on Wall Street type deal) and the prestige is high.

Rtrain - hope to be doing the same thing soon

Carl - yo man don't take things so personal, I'm just fed up with heroin at the moment


----------



## RTrain

Tommyboy said:


> I just don't think that soccer is a sport where being a good athlete translates into being a good player.  Having great ball control with your legs/feet isn't something that any great athlete can just pick up.  If I were to pick basketball players that might make good soccer players it would be point guards though. LeBron James is probably too big to make a good soccer player imo.
> 
> Michael Jordan was the best basketball player ever and when he tried to cross over to baseball (which he had experience playing) he wasn't an MLB caliber player although he was given a shot.  Actually he may have deserved the shot but he would never be able to represent our nation in the sport.  So while some athletes might have been good at the sport if they had switched at a young age or had just played soccer since they were young, I doubt any of them would qualify as leaders in the sport.
> 
> I just don't see how football or basketball skills translate over to soccer. It's a poor example. If you said great hockey players could probably do well with lacrosse then I would be more inclined to agree with you. Or if you said that we would have better lacrosse players if so many people that were great at football and lacrosse in high school stuck with lacrosse rather than football then I'd have to agree with that since it's actually a common occurrence.



Watching the end of the soccer game today, it does seem the athletes like PG in basketball are likely the size that'd be good for soccer. Belgium brought in the guy who dominated with fraash legs, apparently he is a real good player so it was odd they kept him benched so long, but it worked. He is like 6'3", so that is tall but not crazy tall. A lot of good goal scorers are in the 6" range, so that is pretty similar to PGs in bball. Though that guy Messi who is suppose to be a top 3 player in the world is like 5'7", and they say he was so small growing up that he needed growth hormones in his youth.



crzydiamond said:


> You should try Woodforest  Bank--the one in Walmart. If you overdraw they never ever charge a fee. Just have to bring your balance to positive before they'll cash a check or anything. But there is none of that $6 per day crap.



Not sure if they have those int he Walmarts around here. Never noticed but don't have a Walmart that is convenient until they finish up building the one that'll be in my hometown. The overdraws are not that bad, I mean it does suck, I got 1 a few weeks ago when I though I should've had enough until payday, but I ended up going over by like less than $1 and that time it pissed me off to pay the fee. They don't add on fees per day at my bank, I think most won't unless it been a week or something. Its not even that bad compared to all the interest that my credit debt, car loan and student loans continue to accrue, but at least I can write off the student loans for tax return money.



porkchops said:


> Most of the (white) guys I played with all choose lacrosse over football because it basically comes down to DIII football (and getting no scholarship money) or DI lacrosse (and getting partial scholarship, very rare to see full tuition freshman year - basically you have a meeting with the head coach at the end of each season where you can attempt to get more money.) Plus there is less wear on your body, you make awesome connections (most guys come from private high schools with their father on Wall Street type deal) and the prestige is high.
> 
> Rtrain - hope to be doing the same thing soon
> 
> Carl - yo man don't take things so personal, I'm just fed up with heroin at the moment



Hahah, that makes sense to me, because D3 football is basically glorified high school. Basically draws the same crowd sizes. 

And good luck with the transition, try to ween down, I think it helps a ton.


----------



## porkchops

RTrain said:


> And good luck with the transition, try to ween down, I think it helps a ton.



What was your use like the week leading up to the subs?


----------



## Effect

RTrain said:


> Watching the end of the soccer game today, it does seem the athletes like PG in basketball are likely the size that'd be good for soccer. Belgium brought in the guy who dominated with fraash legs, apparently he is a real good player so it was odd they kept him benched so long, but it worked. He is like 6'3", so that is tall but not crazy tall. A lot of good goal scorers are in the 6" range, so that is pretty similar to PGs in bball. Though that guy Messi who is suppose to be a top 3 player in the world is like 5'7", and they say he was so small growing up that he needed growth hormones in his youth.
> 
> 
> 
> Not sure if they have those int he Walmarts around here. Never noticed but don't have a Walmart that is convenient until they finish up building the one that'll be in my hometown. The overdraws are not that bad, I mean it does suck, I got 1 a few weeks ago when I though I should've had enough until payday, but I ended up going over by like less than $1 and that time it pissed me off to pay the fee. They don't add on fees per day at my bank, I think most won't unless it been a week or something. Its not even that bad compared to all the interest that my credit debt, car loan and student loans continue to accrue, but at least I can write off the student loans for tax return money.
> 
> 
> 
> Hahah, that makes sense to me, because D3 football is basically glorified high school. Basically draws the same crowd sizes.
> 
> And good luck with the transition, try to ween down, I think it helps a ton.




Haha they've been building that Wal-Mart on Rt 1 for a minute right haha. Now I know your hometown lol watch out.


----------



## Effect

Also RTrain glad to hear the sub transition was easy for you and worked better than you expected. That gives me hope. I keep fucking myself over.

I'll get settled on bupe only after 3 days and stay exclusively with bupe for 5 or so totally days @ 2-4mg/day. Then I'll end up wanting to use for what I hope will only be a day or two tops and lower my dose to ~.5mg to keep bupe in my system and eventually it will turn to nearly a week run and I'm back at square one like where I'm at now. Used a small amount yesterday and barely anything today, but will be feeling OK till I wake up tomorrow.


----------



## RTrain

Well I atually have put it off, I stupidly made it thru the hard part, then I had work and couldn't deal with it so I had to get something to get thru my work days. After that I will. 

But I know what you mean about the whole cycle of getting one them, feeling alright after that couple days where they don't help enough. Then thinking you can do a little, maybe just one weekend nights. Then you expand it a little and in 10 days you are basically back where you were. 

I think you can make the transition pretty easy if you kind of ease in by using a little Sub in the morning and dope later on, then keep using more Sub and less dope each day. Almost like the Sub blocking is forcing you to taper. 1 problem with that is if I am doing dope I want to get high and enjoy myself, I don't want to just use it as a tool. That kind of strategy takes too much willpower. Also I always wait until I am at my bottom $ to switch over, so that kind of ruins any chance of a slow transition. 

Oh and the Walmart will probably never actually open. I havent' even really looked at it recently to see how far along it is, but a few months ago some guy got burnt bad by a propane tank that leaked and it gave him freezer burn. Must've sucked to be that guy.


----------



## porkchops

Effect - Why not up your sub dose to maybe 8mg and not use dope at all? One time in rehab I was getting 2mg once a day at the end of a taper and they mistakenly gave me 8mg twice and I was rocked.

I've got a little less then a week and I'm trying not to use more then a bun per day. Of course part of me is like go all out its you last chance, but its crazy - dope is one of the only activities you get no joy from the memory of how good it felt. So in two weeks it won't even matter how high I was...that's what I'm telling myself.


----------



## alteknj

Hey guys. How's everyone doing? I'm doing quite well. Still on the methadone and for the most part 90% clean. Chipped a handful of times in 6 months, but it's not even worth it for me anymore. My head and body are in a good place now. And I am slowly working at cleaning up the mess I made of my life. Anyway.. I am sure people on here have heard of Jynxies Natural Habitat. The very famous heroin stamp blog (user submitted content, pictures, stamp ratings, etc) It was in VICE magazine, etc.

http://dequinceyjynxie.blogspot.com/
Well, Jynxie passed away. Murdered actually. They think she was murdered. With her boyfriend.

I wrote about it all on my blog, links to articles, etc.  https://jerseyjunkie201.wordpress.com/
You will find the necessary information there, as much as I know. RIP to her and her boyfriend.


----------



## northsideboy

Hey alteknj - first of all, congrats on the change in lifestyle. keep working at it. I was way ahead of where i'm at now, started chipping and then got in trouble at home again. rebuilding over and over and over again is hard. i only know it's worth it by listening to others, especially when my own head tells me its impossible.

second, thanks for posting the info on paups and thanatos. it's 2 weeks old? but i had no idea, cause i hardly ever look at that other site after getting banned for what, i'm not sure,  but that's not my point. that information really sucks. i went to the site immediately after reading your blog, but cant see the members only sections (obv) and cant read the obits or whatever they call them. 

i didn't know them, except on-line. i felt a funny connection to paups, just from living in the same neighborhoods, around the same time, in brooklyn, although reading the news, I'm a good bit older than both of them. i started my addiction in nyc, on 7th st in LES, at a pretty well known spot. one that was there for years and years. she had plenty of stories about manhattan and brooklyn. 

i hope neither one of them suffered -although in this situation, anything seems possible. what a fucking shitty reminder of the games we play. she used to post about being content and happy to be away from the big city, still using, but adjusting to the small town mid-west/out west lifestyle. can't say i want that - but i do want to retire some day and get away from it all, which seemed to be what they were working on. 

what a fucking bummer. nothing to do with you, dude - i'm glad you mentioned it, cause otherwise, i would've never known.

peace to both of them.


----------



## cj

alteknj said:


> Hey guys. How's everyone doing? I'm doing quite well. Still on the methadone and for the most part 90% clean. Chipped a handful of times in 6 months, but it's not even worth it for me anymore. My head and body are in a good place now. And I am slowly working at cleaning up the mess I made of my life. Anyway.. I am sure people on here have heard of Jynxies Natural Habitat. The very famous heroin stamp blog (user submitted content, pictures, stamp ratings, etc) It was in VICE magazine, etc.
> 
> http://dequinceyjynxie.blogspot.com/
> Well, Jynxie passed away. Murdered actually. They think she was murdered. With her boyfriend.
> 
> I wrote about it all on my blog, links to articles, etc.  https://jerseyjunkie201.wordpress.com/
> You will find the necessary information there, as much as I know. RIP to her and her boyfriend.


That's terrible news I have lurked opiophile for years and always enjoyed both of there posts and stories.

As for me I relapsed on heroin a few weeks ago went on a large run. Decided to get back on subs 3 days ago. So I am right back where I was before I went to rehab. It sucks that all that suffering was for nothing but I feel a lot better in every respect being back on the subs. The PAWS just broke my will at the end of the day.


----------



## Masshole

Effect said:


> Haha they've been building that Wal-Mart on Rt 1 for a minute right haha. Now I know your hometown lol watch out.




lol, i know your hometown too!


----------



## Tommyboy

So pretty crazy story.  Today after I got home from fishing I decided to get a slice of pizza down the block. When I walked outside n sparked a cigarette I noticed this random girl talking to one of the women on my block.  She seemed a little 'off' and a bit trashy (she was walking around the neighborhood eating popcorn out of one of those red /white striped popcorn bags you get at the movie theaters) and when she noticed that I was smoking a cigarette she asked if she could buy one. I told her she could just have one (I admit that I was interested to find out her deal) then right after I handed it to her she fully turned to me and I noticed that she was preggerz but it was too late to jot give her the smoke.  

She told me that she had just moved to the area to stay with her grandmother and was asking how to get to some supermarket. I told her where it was and how to get there but then she just started asking the same thing over and over and didn't get what I was saying, and that's when I realized that she was doped out of her face. She was trying to walk next to me but when I saw a car pass by with a bunch of people in it I realized that I didn't want to be seen with this 'character' so I picked up the pace and walked away from her into the pizza place.

Once I got in there and ordered she came in after me and started asking the young kid working there what each thing was on the counter, and asking if they made things that didn't even exist (e.g. a chicken alfredo slice) and what each thing had in it and so forth.  I doubt that she even had any money on her and the older guy working there was catching onto this so he told the younger kid to just go on to the next customers and only help this girl when she knew what she wanted.

So he helped a few people then this crazy preggerz girl would ask him the price of things, then forget what he said and ask all over again.  She asked what a was in a spinach roll abd when he was telling her she asked if there was any pasta in it.  Then she was asking the prices of pasta dishes while having the menu in her hand so the older dude just told her to read her menu.

At this point some people were waiting in there and looking at this crazy pregnant girl who was asking ridiculous questions while nodding out with an un-lit cigarette in her hand, and I couldn't stand to be in the same room as her anymore so I told them to just take my stuff out of the oven right then and I added a few more things to my order but took them cold so I could get out and heat it layer on my own.

I'm pretty positive she was a heroin addict and her long sleeves on a hot day kinda confirmed that with me, plus she had to force out her words while talking nonsense and not remembering a thing that she was told.  Basically she was just killing time while high maybe so that her grandmother didn't see her like that.  She was definitely pregnant so I don't know what will come of it. I'm sure they kicked her out of the pizza place after I left and she probably went back to walking around eating popcorn while dropping the majority of it on the floor.  That was some sick / sad shit.


----------



## porkchops

Damn that kind of sucks for the kid, maybe it was some combo like methadone and xanax. By itself I don't think methadone is dangerous to the fetus and withdrawal can cause some damage. 

You needed to snatch that cig from her out her mouth.


----------



## Tommyboy

She didn't smoke it while I was there. And I thought it might have been methadone but idk. She was fucked up for sure so if it was done she's definitely taking more than she should.


----------



## subotai

I played Lacrosse but only until my grades got to the point where they wouldnt let me anymore. Would have been cool to play for a college but at the same time I wasnt about to hit the library just to be able to play Lax. Wouldnt have been that hard really, just hand in a few more assingments I guess. 

there's no money in lacrosse anyway, and I dont really care about a college degree so I guess it doesnt really matter

idk about you guys, but I pretty much hate my life without heroin. What the fuck am I supposed to do now

guess Ill just buy heroin and forget about it


----------



## subotai

I just hope if I ever od its in a public place like a mall parking lot or a Denny's bathroom or something. Id feel bad if one of my relatives found me. Not bad enough to not do it, but enough where'd id post a sad face 

that goes for anything really but heroin is the only drug I could realistically see myself dying from


----------



## tomatalli

This sucks its been 16 hours. Since my last dose and im waiting to take some suboxone that i picked up.  Ive been on dope a year straight wihout gettimg sick once


----------



## Johnny blue

If you're sick it's probably safe to dose. Just saying man. I don't wait that long.


----------



## Carl Landrover

I wait that long if I haven't taken sub for a while. 

If I don't I get weird sensations through my body, particularly my legs. It then makes me sort of flashback to the two times I went into precipitated WD. Both times made me pace around like a madman, crying, and muttering that something was very wrong. It felt like the depression was a physical thing and it was in my head, like a giant worm had slithered into my head and was in my brain. If I had a gun I would have blown it out of there. I basically never want to have that feeling again. I usually just take a bunch of clonidine or a benzo if I have it when I first get back on sub, just so I'm not flailing around my bed with the jimmy legs and weird tingles through my body. If I can fall back asleep after I dose then I usually wake up feeling much more normal. 

I also dose much lower when switching back. Usually will start with 2mg as opposed to 4 or 8. If I have sub in my system though, then switching back and forth was much, much easier. It would only be after long stretches that I'd have this problem. Never with snorting either or when I was shooting dope.


----------



## The Doc.

You guys seem to have a science down for switching from dope to bupe then bupe to dope and so forth it does make sense it would work the way effect mentioned he does it but I still think your digging your own grave and the sub will eventually never hold you over I've heard it from many people. I never had any problems going back and forth from sub to dope then back to sub I have not done this since January now which is pretty coll its tough when you can use with out ever being sick it seems like you could use forever and be happy cause the sub will always be your back up plan. Very tough cycle to break that's for sure. Me I always did myast shot of dope  then I would wait about 4-6 hours until I start getting real physically sick then I dose 1-3 mgs sublingually and every time I was fine no withdrawal or cravings at all really the sub always felt so much better than it did before when coning back to it the energy and euphoria I got from the sub made me forget all about heroin.


----------



## Carl Landrover

You started off by saying switching back and forth is going to lead to digging our own grave, and I don't know what you mean by that. Then you sort of have the opposite stance saying you've switched back and forth and never had any problems. 


I'm saying the only times I have had a problem was when I wasn't switching back and forth. I had an issue, twice, when I was switching back to sub after long stretches, like 6months of shooting daily. Was on sub for just that one day then tried again a few months after that, but had the same problem. I just wasn't sick enough when I took it and I was also starting by taking a whole strip. I've switched after a few month stretches since and I get these weird body surges but that's it. I don't know of anyone getting euphoria from sub on the first day when switching after a long stretch, so I think you're in the minority on that. I've also been using for over 10 years now, few months shy on 8 years since I first felt physical WD. Sub seemed more effective in the first 5-6 years.


----------



## The Doc.

I mean many people eventually are not able to do the switching thing cause over time the transition becomes to long and you just can't feel 100 percent taking bupe the same way you did before so the user has to decide to stick to sub's or dope or just go ahead and get on methadone then use dope with that. That's what I meant and I was saying lucky that never happened to me cause I know too many people who have fucked up the chance for sub's to work for them by doing the switch to dope too much.


----------



## The Doc.

I never understood it either but too many people have reported the same thing for it to be a coincidence like Mr Scagantie always talked about how over time the switch got too hard to do then he could never feel quite right on bupe so he went to methadone. I remember I first heard it from another mod telling me to be careful switching back and forth so much or the sub will stop working and I though WTF?! How does that work I thought but many people report the same thing. I don't know if its just a ploy by addicts to get on methadone by saying the sub no longer works but I doubt thatmany people are doing that many are upset cause they wished they could still take bupe but it no longer works like it used to so their stuck with methadone or dope.


----------



## cj

I have switched back and fourth many times and never had a problem. But I don't seem to be prone to p/w for whatever reason. I think the key is too start low with the sub. I usually dose 1mg 24 hours after heroin then titrate up as needed from there. The first day is never the best but after 48 hours I'm back to normal.


----------



## The Doc.

Yea me too of course not everybody will have it I mean I found it to be easier to make the switches as time went on but I'm the same way precipitated withdrawal has never been a problem for me either I take my sub a few hours after dope and I'm fine so it obviously depends on the person from what I read from Carl too he has never had this problem either but lots on here have reported sub no longer working after switching back and forth tooanu times.


----------



## Tommyboy

The problem with switching back and forth has a lot to due with tolerance too.  I'm sure that someone that's only doing a bag a day or 60mg of oxy can switch all they want without running into too many problems. 

Typically though the more times you do it means the longer you have been using which usually means your tolerance is higher.  I eventually ran into problems switching back and forth but it got easier when I was using way less.

Bupes ceiling effect only allows it to cover habits well up to a certain size, with it being difficult or taking longer to stabilize with bigger habits. So if you are doing a bundle a day then the transition is going to be tough so either taper down first or wait at least 30 hours after your last dose, or preferably longer if you can.


----------



## Effect

On my way to cop.


----------



## cj

Tommyboy said:


> The problem with switching back and forth has a lot to due with tolerance too.  I'm sure that someone that's only doing a bag a day or 60mg of oxy can switch all they want without running into too many problems.
> 
> Typically though the more times you do it means the longer you have been using which usually means your tolerance is higher.  I eventually ran into problems switching back and forth but it got easier when I was using way less.
> 
> Bupes ceiling effect only allows it to cover habits well up to a certain size, with it being difficult or taking longer to stabilize with bigger habits. So if you are doing a bundle a day then the transition is going to be tough so either taper down first or wait at least 30 hours after your last dose, or preferably longer if you can.



That's true my habit is small compared to a lot of people here. 1-2 bags a day


----------



## Effect

Tommyboy said:


> Bupes ceiling effect only allows it to cover habits well up to a certain size, with it being difficult or taking longer to stabilize with bigger habits. So if you are doing a bundle a day then the transition is going to be tough so either taper down first or wait at least 30 hours after your last dose, or preferably longer if you can.




I wasn't sure if it wasn't covering due to the nature of my body being used to full agonists and buprenorphine isn't giving my receptors what they want or if coming off some of my last runs (whatever you wanna call them) where I had been using more than ever, the bupe ceiling effect just didn't take care of me due to tolerance.


----------



## chefman

Hmm could be !!!


----------



## Effect

I always tend to dose my bupe at around 18 hours. At this point I'm trying to keep a low amount in my system even on days I'm using, but next time I take it coming off a binge, I'm going to try to wait as long as possible to see if the relief it provides will be more pronounced.

I'm also using less per day before switching for the long term, as suggested by Carl Landrover. Today I'm keeping it to the .2ish I already used and I'll be good till tomorrow morning.


----------



## The Doc.

Your good till the morning effect dam I wish dope lasted me that long I would be laying on on the ground puking by the evening guess I'm a pussy I say fuck it after 5 hours cause I get so dAM sick so fast when using dope once waited 24 hours to do it cause someone on here told me to wait that long when I first made my profile but that was very unnecessary I made myself so sick when I could have been good to take it 12-16 hours earlier.

So I guess you just gotta find ways around the tolerance issue like effect and Carl then you can keep switching back and forth as much as you want is what I'm hearing from you guys. I guess it makes sense there's no reason I can think of that would make the sub stop holding you over indefinitely just from switching to dope often although I never understood why people say that sub no longer works due to switching back and forth to dope I only say that cause so many report the same thing like MR S and bluehues another mod said the same thing we actually had an agurment cause I said it got easier over time to make those switches to dope then back to sub but he insisted that it gets harder and harder till eventually the sub will never hold you over no matter how much sub you take leaving the person to have to go to methadone or dope indefinitely. Now you guys say that's not the case mmhh well I guess Carl would know if he has used sub for a decade along with dope in between with no problem. Iveonly used sub for a year and a half 2 years despite being an opiate addict for close to ten years and now I only take sub so havent switched to dope in months have no interest in dope anymore one day I just woke up and said fuck you heroin your a dirty shitty drug and I don't want to be your slave or a pussy anymore.


----------



## The Doc.

Although you guys are the ones doing it the proper way by waiting longer because I know bupe works a lot better the sicker you are and the farther into withdrawal you can get the better it will work although with my fast metabolism I can still get by on 2mgs taken 6 hours after my last shot its don't make a difference to me if I wait 12 hours it will still hold me the same but I'm not normal most need to do it the way you guys do that really is the "textbook" way. I always just say don't go by time you just get to know your body and know when its time after a while instead of aiming for a certain amount of hours cause someone else told you to.


----------



## Effect

^ yeah that's why next time I'm going to wait until WD truly becomes uncomfortable to the point where I don't want to function on any normal level, although even slight WD can bring me to that point, but usually I can push through. Bottom line is I'm going to go as long as possible and like I said, see if the relief from taking the bupe is better.


----------



## The Doc.

Yea good idea that's the way your supposed to do it I never did but hopefully I don't ever have to worry about making a switch back to sub cause I don't want to be a dope fiend even with sub's I will use and use till my noneys gone and I hate buying street dope when I sold dope I got good uncut dope and I never felt shitty or tired from it(except when nodding before bed) but when I was buying quarter grams my last relapse I always felt like I weighed a thousand pounds and just all around shitty instead of the usual peppy self I was when I used to do dope and go to work. I could nod out doing enough but when I was using during the day I just felt shitty like there is something cut in the dope doing it to me. Then when I went on sub I felt great light as a feather and energetic again it was weird I seemed to enjoy the bupe more that's when I realised fuck dope just stick to your scripts and quit doing this to yourself I finally thought


----------



## Tommyboy

I had been going back and forth last year a lot and when I finally got my script it felt like the subs were fake as they didn't do anything other than keep me from being sick.

As for how long to wait, I did become very sensitive to the induction based on how long I waited which is why I wait so long now.  If I took it too soon (let's say @ 18hrs) then it would barely help, and wouldn't help that much at all for a few days no matter how much I took.  But when I waited 36hrs I could actually feelit and it would work normally right away. So it came down to either taking it too soon and not having to suffer but not really feeling better for a few days, or suffering more for a few more hours and feeling positive effects from it right off the bat.  I could tell a lot by how well the first dose worked. 

What I always try to do is space out my usage to once every 24 hours so that my body adjusts to that so eventually I don't start getting too sick until 20-24 hours after my last use which makes waiting a little over 24 hours to start bupe much easier.  After a while I didn't even start getting that sick until I was past the 24 hr mark which made it a lot easier to wait 30 hours or so, thus making the transition way easier.

Back in the day I would feel good from the bupe whenever, but it definitely lost it's magic the more I switched. Having said that, spacing out my usage and waiting longer as well as having a lower tolerance has made it easier to adjust again, but I feel it still has a lot to do with how long I wait. Most people are using more dope more often the longer they go though, so me doing the opposite isn't the norm.

I had always been skeptical of posts saying that bupe lost it's magic the more times you switched until it happened to me. There are definitely more variables at play though other than just the number of times you have switched.  So as bad as this may sound, if you are on bupe or use it in between runs then plan your relapses better if you can.


----------



## subotai

it's 9:09 am and I'm barelynm coherent from dope


----------



## Mzral

I really just don't like subs. If I'm going to be using opiates then I want my drug of choice or nothing else. Obviously that would be heroin. I'll take subs in the case of an emergency if I'm trying to avoid being sick but other than that I never got much out of them. I get a boost of energy and an elevated mood, but it's like a huge tease. Dope gets me to where I want to be, as where subs almost get me there but not quite, and I'm just left wishing I was on dope. The only time I've ever had a good experience on subs was (and oddly enough) when I snorted roughly a quarter piece of a generic after eating 5 clonidine's. I almost instantly started leaning hard and that's never happened to me with subs. Honestly it was a good time but nothing I'd try and chase.


----------



## cj

Yeah I don't get any kind of high from subs. Though they do help me not crave dope. Otherwise they Just keeps the sick away.


----------



## alteknj

crimsonjunk said:


> Yeah I don't get any kind of high from subs. Though they do help me not crave dope. Otherwise they Just keeps the sick away.




35 days clean, straight out of rehab I snorted 4mg and ate (dissolved) 12mg of Suboxone. I was so mangled. One of the best highs I've ever had. Suboxone is no joke. When you are clean and low/no tolerance it FUCKS you up like an opiate. With a dope habit, it's a strong way to detox/stay well. But I don't like them. Prefer the methadone.


----------



## porkchops

I got the sub script, but somehow keep seeing enough money to keep getting high...fuck.


----------



## Tommyboy

porkchops said:


> I got the sub script, but somehow keep seeing enough money to keep getting high...fuck.



Well one of the problems with having a sub script (and the reason why I don't have one) is that it's easy to use them as a safety net while still using heroin. If you're dependent whether you're on subs or other opiates then some people figure they might as well still het high and then use the subs when they want a break or are short on money and don't want to be sick.

Subs just feel weird for me so it's not with it for me to still be dependent on something if it's that. My habits in check now so I rarely use anything so I would only use subs for a few days to soften the blow of a binge should I indulge. I can't use them for more than a week though since they start making me crazy and since my tolerance is way down I hate the idea of having to kick subs if I were to stay on them for a prolonged period of time

Now if I had a bag habit and really couldn't stop then I would consider subs (can't really make it to a methadone clinic each day) but thankfully I'm not in that situation anymore.


----------



## chefman

Phone connect has been good good good!!!


----------



## chefman

This site is really slow,anyone got anything to talk bout.


----------



## subotai

well this thread never really fit too well with the Harm Reduction image. You can't really claim HR when you are talking about how you are getting high on heroin. The process of acquiring and using will always be potentially harmful whether it be physically or socially. And it looks stupid to just talk about it for like 3 paragraphs than at the very end or in your next post just be like

"but don't do it though!"

now if you wanted to talk about doing some fringe research chemical that was invented yesterday in some Chinese basement superlab somewhere, by all means.....

not to mention there's like 18 different geographical heroin threads and maybe 3/4ths of the people who posted in here left


----------



## cj

alteknj said:


> 35 days clean, straight out of rehab I snorted 4mg and ate (dissolved) 12mg of Suboxone. I was so mangled. One of the best highs I've ever had. Suboxone is no joke. When you are clean and low/no tolerance it FUCKS you up like an opiate. With a dope habit, it's a strong way to detox/stay well. But I don't like them. Prefer the methadone.



That's true. When I got out of rehab I found a mg or 2 of a strip in an old wrapper I discarded. It got me pretty high. Was a hell of a relief. I did a dope dance and got so excited when I found it.


----------



## Tommyboy

crimsonjunk said:


> That's true. When I got out of rehab I found a mg or 2 of a strip in an old wrapper I discarded. It got me pretty high. Was a hell of a relief. I did a dope dance and got so excited when I found it.



This one time when I was sick at work and my guy called to say he wouldn't be good until the next day I called up a friend to drop off a temazepam to me so I could hopefully sleep. It was in this tiny bottle and when I opened it I saw this little thing fall to the ground, and when I looked I noticed it was about 2mg out of an 8mg strip. My habit wasn't too big at the time so between that and the temaz I was feeling good.

Another time when I had done a short sub taper and had been off of everything for a few days and feeling shitty I started throwing out my old sub strip foils and found 1mg in there. I had only been using tiny pieces of sub to taper so that 1mg helped me a lot.  

If you have a small habit or haven't used in a few days and are sick a little bit of suboxone really helps. It's when your tolerance is high and you go to take it 24 hrs after your last dope usage that it's not that helpful, and will only keep you from getting sicker rather than making you feel better.  In those instances it can be 3 days of using it before it actually makes you feel good rather than just not that bad.  I had one time though after going back and forth a lot and having a pretty big habit where even after a few weeks the subs still weren't helping much and I was even thinking they might have been a bad batch.  

In those situations the key is to let yourself get really sick before using them and then even after that keep spacing it out to let your tolerance drop even more so they can begin to work better.  The ceiling dose prevents it from covering larger habits at first so you really need to get to the point where you are sick enough that a small dose can help.  I've always found that you can tell a lot by the first sub dose, so if it doesnt help at first it's going to be a few days before it does, but if it does help at first then you are good.


----------



## chinky

*team nod assemble*?


----------



## cj

Good to see you back Chinky. Everyone's been worried about you. Where you been?


----------



## chinky

jail

me and my uncle got into it one night and I beat his ass and he called the cops and he told them how I was buying all this stolen shit and they confiscated this new macbook I was fuckin with cause my uncle said it was mine and I denied it( I don't know why) and he was talking shit about "the others" and then they ran the serial number and it came back to a burglary and it was just a bunch of bullshit..my uncle knew all about it cause hes the one that hooked me up with his friends who where out there boosting shit forcrack money and I was just makin quick money flippin the shit..they over charged me (which is what IN is known for, overcharge, so you end up coppin a plea) and actually hit me with the burglary which was dumb on their part...they didn't want to give me a plea at first caue when they came back with a warrant after running the mac and searched the house they found like 9 other laptops and iphones/ipads and other shit..fencing was easy and I was basically buying anyhting I knew I could make money on and right before I had pretrial they came at me with a time served plea well 18mos do 9(I had like 3 weeks left to do) with a receiving stolen property conviction so I took it cause my trial date wasn't gonna be til after the new year since the prosecutor and judge was booked up, so fuck another 5months in there for trial...my lawyer was confident we would have it beat the burg and was 50/50 on the stolen prop charge (I think we could have beat it since it was in the house and could have been argued it was my uncles, but thats whatever) but since I already had a felony why not just take it and petition the court to drop it to a misty (which is what im gonna do)..i looked at it like a little forced rehab, that I dearly needed..but I had a bunch of charges battery , multiple counts of recieving stolen prop, burglary, and they dropped it all except 1 reciev stolen prop.. if found guilty at trial and was pretty much guaranteed the full 3yr do 18mo being I already had a felony record and the fact it was obvious I was fencing 

and no I didn't really need to be doing all that its just I dunno it got  addicting cause It was happening so quick and it was easy and the only was I can describe it was that it was like going back to my hustling days..buyin a pound for 35 and sellin it for 42 was just too easy and when my uncles friends started coming threw with all this shit I couldn't just let it walk away knowing someone else was just gonna buy it and do the same thing..


----------



## chinky

i actually just got out today(sat) and im down in Atlanta right now..my mom moved down to atl and told me to come stay with her and get back on my feet..so i walked out the jail and went straight to the airport and came down here..

it fuckin sucks..no dope, no weed and no connects..i got a couple bullshit endocets that i had and i dnno im gonna pop a few of them tomorrow..after 9 months i don't even know how much oxy i even need, its been years since i took oxy..imma start at 40mgs and see where it takes me..prolly not far lol


----------



## chefman

Well,chinko glad u are alright.


----------



## subotai

fuck with crackheads long enough and everyone goes down

that sucks chinky, but it sounds like you've taken it all in stride so live and learn you know

40mgs should be beyond good after a 9 month break. They say you never really lose your tolerance fully but idk I crashed my car off 3 bags of heroin after not doing it for 3 months (1 for each month! haha) so Idk

and Id like to consider myself a pretty decent driver FTR, I just took it a fridge too far


----------



## Johnny blue

Holy shit, look who's back. I'm glad you're alright man.


----------



## Effect

Damn welcome back man. Hope your doing good. Enjoy those oxys.


----------



## chefman

Dope and shark week,ahh yeah!!


----------



## Effect

Not looking forward to having to take bupe tomorrow at all. I've done dope every day for too long. I hope I can figure something out tomorrow.


----------



## tomatalli

whats up guys, so I ended up going to detox and am at a 2 month program now.  I am on 80mg of methadone but I am still having a lot of cravings and waking up sick so I need to up my dose.  Hopefully after this I'll go to a sober house for another 2 or 3 months.  I just got offered to work full time at the job I had before I went to detox though and I would make around 600$ a week so I might leave the rehab early I don't know how good of an idea that is though.  Anyway at the rehab I am at they let you go out to look for jobs and go to NA/AA meetings from 7am to 3pm after you're there for 10 business days which is about 2 and a half week including weekends so I'm at the library now and I figured I would check in with you guys.  So I'm doin alright I personally don't think being on methadone is being clean but its alot better than shooting 3 bundles of dope.


----------



## chinky

ehh the oxy was alrite but I cant complain..it felt so good to itch

good to see some of the same people still around


----------



## chinky

so what the deal with dope in Atlanta..so do I venture to the bluff or what??


----------



## Effect

^Idk man sounds sketchy. If you end up on the hunt be careful.


----------



## chinky

ive only been down here for 2 days and ive been clean for 9months so I can definetly wait

but how much worse can it been then hitting up the westside?

 well the only thing I can think of is that I know my way around the westside and have no idea how to get to the gas station and back with out a gps yet but other then that I dunno maybe the westside is so much bigger and its easdier to blend in too

but I got that itch after eating them oxys


----------



## Effect

I was under the impression that the bluff wasn't open air west side style at least for dope. I've read some of that thread bout the bluff though and am curious if it lives up to the rep.


----------



## Effect

I'm sure you'll run into someone who can at least point you in the right direction soon.


----------



## chinky

yeah im not too worried about it I even have friends back home that said to just send them the money and they will mail it to me...granted how they are heroin addicts and I might not ever see that money again but that wouldn't be a bad idea if need be


----------



## Effect

Not to many people I'd send money in the mail to for dope lol but if you trust whoever you ask and don't mind waiting a few days, its definitely an option


----------



## chinky

theres only a couple people I would ttrust..and if I got burned oh well its only like 50bucks


----------



## subotai

chefman said:


> Dope and shark week,ahh yeah!!








somehow Stone Cold Steve Austin got involved in shark week. started having WWF flashbacks. Wrestlemania XV was the first time I ever used pay-per-view, parents bought it for my 7th birthday. All I remember is the final match and finding out who Butterbean was for the first time. They had actual fights in Wrestlemania XV for some reason, this one just didnt last very long


----------



## subotai

god damn some people are so fucking incompetent it pisses me off. everyone's all about dope until their suburban dealer runs out then suddenly they're "not tryin to drive to philly" like it takes so long to get there at 10 o clock at nigt

fuck this, pretty sure they didnt up and move all the heroin to some new area

if you want something you really have to do it yourself

I dont like going down on foot in the summer because it is harder to hide that im white but I dont give a fuck at this point. I need real dope, not this bullshit. If you never copped in philly then you dont understand. Im not tryin to be a heroin snob (though I most certainly am being one), but this is really all the city has going for it. that's why I read people talking about how they "didnt really enjoy heroin" and just fucking laugh

you didnt really get something worth buying if that is the case. period

if I had my car this wouldnt even be a post. Id be halfway down broad street right now, pulling a u-turn since you cant make a left onto Lehigh, and it's not important from there.

fuck

and everyone's always like, dude why you so racist?

uhh, because my grandfather ran a deli in the Badlands for over 40 years and now I can't even walk within 2 miles of it without having the cops creep by doing 5 mph, grilling the fuck out of me

I dont need this shit, but I do at the same time. 

fuck

"dude you dont even live in philly shut up"

yeah, because it's a fucking shit hole to be honest. And I think that is a positive trait, not living in Philly so Im not a fucking neanderthal, yet knowing what the fuck is up down there

ill stop ranting now


----------



## chinky

so what they just gonna go sick and not take the drive?


im glad I came down here with no habit and that im not stressin out tryin to find something..i can take my time and not make some stupid irrational decision..

like today I went to go grab the mail for my grandma and I saw the neighbors sitting in their car with the music on in the middle of the day..although I couldn't smell anything my guess is they were more then likely smking some bud...ive only been here a few days and haven't talked to them yet but I plan on askin them if they can get me weed

its a black family with I think klids in their 20s and im pretty sure there was a kid in highschool that used to live there too,or so my mom says..so once I say hi a few times imam ask them about weed and see what else..id rather not have them know about my dope use just yet but who knows, maybe they got some people with that kill


----------



## pigpen19688

I have been out of the loop on BL for a few months now. My main thread was Detroit Heroin and I seemed to make some friends. . Some of you may remember me and read my blog http://junkysays.blogspot.com/ which I had quite a few compliments on and encouragement to write a book. The book is done and if you would like a preview you can look here softsculpture.org The name of the book is JUNKY CHRONICLES. 

I received a lot of support for my blog here on BL and I want to thank you all who did. I cannot even believe I have a book out with my name on the side of the binder. 

I didnt know where else to post this message as Detroit Heroin seems to be dead. Any suggestions Im listening. Im trying not to promote so much as just thank you and show you where to look. 

Im probably going to get an infraction am I not?


----------



## chinky

of course I remember you

your blog was/is great..i had no idea you where writing a book..where you still living on the street with michelle? or did you get advance or is your book self published? its aboutr time finally someone has done something positive and that we where the reason why. cause we pushed them to do it

how has everything else been with you though..still using? hopefully you make a ton of money and can write fulltime...any other books you plan on writing? my suggestion is a fiction book based on your life since you just wrote the nonfiction one


----------



## pigpen19688

Thanks. Its just a small book of my blog pretty much word for word. A small publisher in my area read it and put it to print. My publishers used all my photographs as well as the comments from everyone who posted a comment whether good or bad. I actually wish there were more negative comments just cause they have an interesting impact. If any of you commented on the actual blog you are now in print. http://www.softsculpture.org/


----------



## Tommyboy

chinky said:


> of course I remember you
> 
> your blog was/is great..i had no idea you where writing a book..where you still living on the street with michelle? or did you get advance or is your book self published? its aboutr time finally someone has done something positive and that we where the reason why. cause we pushed them to do it
> 
> how has everything else been with you though..still using? hopefully you make a ton of money and can write fulltime...any other books you plan on writing? my suggestion is a fiction book based on your life since you just wrote the nonfiction one



What's good my man? I haven't done dope in a few months and haven't done it steadily since the spring.  I was using subs a few days a week then oxys a few days with a few days of nothing each week.  Then I cut out the subs and got down to only a few oxys a week.  I haven't done more than 60mg of oxy in a day since then and don't really use much anymore. 

I'm with a girl now that knows everything so she won't let me use around her so I basically stopped.  Before that she used to not care if I got high and came by and banged all night but she ended up getting sick and had time to think while not drinking at all so that's when she called me out.  At first I didn't want to continue seeing her even though I had already stopped but then I started liking her more and more so I'm giving it a try. Only reason I fully came clean to her was so she understood why I was going from being able to F all night to the opposite, but she said she'll be patient with me so we'll see I guess haha.


----------



## chinky

not a lot bro, good to still see  youre around and posting

its even better youre clean, its amazing what a good girl can do with your world, makes you want pick flowers and take cooking lessons and watch meg ryan and Julia Roberts movies... good for you 

hows everything else like work been? I was wondering does lacey still post?


----------



## pigpen19688

Lol, thank you lord for all the women who put up with our shit and do there best to keep us on some kind of path
, even if it is just a two track through the mud.


----------



## LSDiesel

chinky said:


> I was wondering does lacey still post?



She posted in March in Second Opinion about clothing cleaning advice.

More lacey scuttlebutt here in the Dirty Jersey Thread


----------



## Tommyboy

chinky said:


> not a lot bro, good to still see  youre around and posting
> 
> its even better youre clean, its amazing what a good girl can do with your world, makes you want pick flowers and take cooking lessons and watch meg ryan and Julia Roberts movies... good for you
> 
> hows everything else like work been? I was wondering does lacey still post?



Thanks man.  And lacey actually just PMd a mod this week to let them know she's alright and wanted them to tell her old crew on here to hit her up.  I think you know her new handle is khadijah but I'm not positive if that's the account she used to PM that mod.


----------



## chinky

any1 see the PBS show called addicted to pleasure?

they have an episode about opium and its was fairly interesting in a historical stand point..


----------



## Effect

If that's on YouTube then you just gave me something to watch.


----------



## chinky

don't think so..but check your local PBS..or maybe do some more digging, I just checked hulu and it wasn't there..

and I guess is was originally on the BBC so like I said maybe more digging and you can find it, it was a 4 episode show with an hour on each..whisky, opium, sugar, tobacco


----------



## Felonious Monk

http://tune.pk/video/1074661/documentary-addicted-to-pleasure-opium-bbc-documentary-series

You're welcome.  Can't wait to watch it myself.


----------



## chinky

there you go..

gotta love the pharmaceutical heroin at the beginning and the old bottles of it towards the end(48min) and also the little syringe kit that's comes in the silver case(39:45)...


----------



## subotai

opium played a bigger part in our modern political situations than people would admit because, most of the people who remember it died like 25 years ago.

Imperial powers invaded China, over Opium

the French got kicked out Vietnam, over Opium 

the CIA helped the Afghanis, plant and smuggle Opium

shit was everywhere, im just too lazy to keep looking into it


----------



## chinky

cocaine too


----------



## Cliffy78

pigpen19688 said:


> I have been out of the loop on BL for a few months now. My main thread was Detroit Heroin and I seemed to make some friends. . Some of you may remember me and read my blog http://junkysays.blogspot.com/ which I had quite a few compliments on and encouragement to write a book. The book is done and if you would like a preview you can look here softsculpture.org The name of the book is JUNKY CHRONICLES.
> 
> I received a lot of support for my blog here on BL and I want to thank you all who did. I cannot even believe I have a book out with my name on the side of the binder.
> 
> I didnt know where else to post this message as Detroit Heroin seems to be dead. Any suggestions Im listening. Im trying not to promote so much as just thank you and show you where to look.
> 
> Im probably going to get an infraction am I not?


Great blog brother, thanks for posting link, I really enjoyed it. You captured the streets just as they are...


----------



## chinky

yeah we used to crave new posts...



yall see how they used midazolam and hydromorphone in the botched executions? 


hey, youre going to die but atleast your gonna be high when you go


----------



## harmacologist

subotai said:


> opium played a bigger part in our modern political situations than people would admit because, most of the people who remember it died like 25 years ago.
> 
> Imperial powers invaded China, over Opium
> 
> the French got kicked out Vietnam, over Opium
> 
> the CIA helped the Afghanis, plant and smuggle Opium
> 
> shit was everywhere, im just too lazy to keep looking into it



not going to riot in the streets,

when your waitin' on Perdue for your fix.


----------



## xstayfadedx

Swooping in to say: yay, chinky is back.
You didn't die :D


----------



## harmacologist

xstayfadedx said:


> Swooping in to say: yay, chinky is back.
> You didn't die :D


lots of old people around.

just newbie status for meow.


----------



## chinky

oh shit whatup girl??


yeah didnt die, just locked up

how have you been? still at it?


----------



## harmacologist

chinky said:


> yeah didnt die, just locked up



bummer.  was feeling heat and too fucked up, so i split town 3000km away and got a j.o.b


----------



## xstayfadedx

chinky said:


> oh shit whatup girl??
> 
> 
> yeah didnt die, just locked up
> 
> how have you been? still at it?


Hey you 
And I've been doing pretty well (Working and making good $$$).  I was clean, but did relapse.
I'm trying to stop doing dope, but it's been a nonstop battle…you know how that is.
I wish I could stop by my 21st bday, and maybe I will (less than a month away).
Glad you're out!!  How have you've been?!

I did hear about you in jail.
I asked a bit ago in the what happened thread in TL
I'm also single since dec my ex is in prison.
Tying to stay out of jail myself.


----------



## chinky

oh shit the single life! and holy shit your bout to be 21??? I remember jailbait sf lol

but ive been alrite, living in Atlanta now since I got out(only 2weeks), don't know any one down here, don't have no drugs, just spending my money on shopping really (god I sound like a female) but fuck what else am I gonna do? I cant sit in the house all day so I got do something..basically going back to my old addiction before I got really hooked on the dope back when I was hustling hard


----------



## xstayfadedx

chinky said:


> oh shit the single life! and holy shit your bout to be 21??? I remember jailbait sf lol
> 
> but ive been alrite, living in Atlanta now since I got out(only 2weeks), don't know any one down here, don't have no drugs, just spending my money on shopping really (god I sound like a female) but fuck what else am I gonna do? I cant sit in the house all day so I got do something..basically going back to my old addiction before I got really hooked on the dope back when I was hustling hard


I have family who lives in Atlanta, but all they do is smoke bud and/or get high on Jesus, lmao.  My friend has family done there too, and she wants me to go down there with her one of these days.  I might actually take her up on the offer when the time comes!!  Can't believe you're out of Chicago… must be a huge change.  Hope all goes well.  I also need to pick up and leave PA.  I don't know when, but I am so ready to move.  It's good to have a fresh start.  Other than that, enjoy your sobriety for as long as you can.  I wish all I was doing was buying new things.  I need new clothes.  Not just dope, which will be gone quickly.

And yes, the single life is treating me well.  I don't miss the drama.  Also yes, the big 21!!  Time has sure flown by.  And lol, who couldn't remember jailbait Stayfaded?  Hahahaha.  Oh man, I was a trip.  Jailbait was more interesting, now I'm legal and boring, but legal !


----------



## cj

Tommyboy said:


> Thanks man.  And lacey actually just PMd a mod this week to let them know she's alright and wanted them to tell her old crew on here to hit her up.  I think you know her new handle is khadijah but I'm not positive if that's the account she used to PM that mod.



One of my all time favorite bluelighters. Glad She is doing well.


----------



## chinky

xstayfadedx said:


> I have family who lives in Atlanta, but all they do is smoke bud and/or get high on Jesus, lmao.  My friend has family done there too, and she wants me to go down there with her one of these days.  I might actually take her up on the offer when the time comes!!  Can't believe you're out of Chicago… must be a huge change.  Hope all goes well.  I also need to pick up and leave PA.  I don't know when, but I am so ready to move.  It's good to have a fresh start.  Other than that, enjoy your sobriety for as long as you can.  I wish all I was doing was buying new things.  I need new clothes.  Not just dope, which will be gone quickly.
> 
> And yes, the single life is treating me well.  I don't miss the drama.  Also yes, the big 21!!  Time has sure flown by.  And lol, who couldn't remember jailbait Stayfaded?  Hahahaha.  Oh man, I was a trip.  Jailbait was more interesting, now I'm legal and boring, but legal !



lol bud smoking jesus freaks..i wonder what those convos would be like

but it sounds like an ATL bl meetup..what the fuck is good? bring some dope with you 

i cant believe i left Chicago either but my brother and sister still live up there along with everyone else i know so i could always go back..but why not give down here a chance first right? cost of living is so much cheaper down here its unbelieveable compared to chicago

and i had some oxy that was hidden in a pair of shoes that i had for a long time so i took that and got a little high but nothing special..im bout to wire my guy some money back home on Monday or Tuesday and hopefully have him mail me some dope


----------



## xstayfadedx

Black people's drug is Jesus, hahaha you know how that is.  And lol, if we met up it would be a crazy time.  I already know that.


----------



## chinky

that he is..

and it would be rather crazy i would think..normally has been with every person ive met from bl..


lots off weed and lots of heroin and lots of alcohol and occasionally mounds of coke  mixed with a little mischief equals fun times with bl friends


----------



## tomatalli

And the first day I got home from rehab I shot up dope and crack.  I'm on 90 mg of methadone and I'm still having massive cravings


----------



## subotai

the ole' 13th step eh? smoking crack now toma? 

ooo boy

err, _shooting_ crack

end result is usually the same


----------



## lilczey

Glad to kno north camden still has fire.. Even after the servalience city is now in place..

I was shooting when baby momma went to jail but I recently stopped 3 months or so.. 

And its been about 2 weeks since I touched heroin..

Have subs today had a half of a 30 yesterday.. I think I'm almost there guys


----------



## subotai

this shit has ruined my life man

like I've tried to not admit that for a couple of baseless reasons but that's the honest to god truth

I hope your kid is healthy and everything is goin good czey, definitely try and have him avoid any mistakes you might have made in the past

my bad if it's a girl lol


----------



## lilczey

Kendra is actually a girl 

She is very good walking now a lil bit she's almost a year now next month..

I had relapsed on needles when my baby moms went to jail for child support on July 4th.. 

Whoa actually I stopped the needle a month ago to the dot.. Wow i thought it's been longer fuck me..  After 3 years of none needle use.. Yeah i sniffed shit but I can manage with sniffing.. Ontop of that I was strictly on suboxone..

So the opportunity raised its head that I cud put down these exspensive ass pills and pick up cheap ass heroin and not have to go anywhere near Camden to get it,  um duh 
Yes please.. And from a close friend that I have known for a couple years.. 

But it has to stop.. All of it has to stop..  Yeah i maintain and sell so i get high for free but my customers have all but disappeared but 1 so i started spending my own money, which I refuse to do.. That's my one of my rules.. And not going to Camden lol.. 

So im almost there..  I did a half a 30 only yesterday at 9:30am and was Withdrawaling by 10:00pm.. I struggled thru last night and took my final piece of suboxone today..

I am trying so hard.. Not to spend cash.. And i won't..

Hope all of yu are well... Love ya all man..


----------



## pigpen19688

Cliffy78 said:


> Great blog brother, thanks for posting link, I really enjoyed it. You captured the streets just as they are...



Thanks for reading. Im also on the other site Opophile and Iv'e got some ding dong claiming I made up all those stories. I dont know how anyone could read my blog and say I made that shit up. Your comment about me capturing the streets made me think of that dick. Anyway, Im just venting. Thanks again

Pigpen


----------



## jeebis

jesus christ its been awhile. then again, i just spent some time out in colorado to get my shit together which totally backfired. legal weed, friends from high school with coke connects, and people who have no idea what the value of their 5mg roxi script is....

but im back in ny now, not dead, and some how some of my friends arent dead. the connect i used to go through who would front me a shit load of weed, heroin, and ketamine is facing a 10 year bid right now (but then again i guess he got caught with quantities of weed, coke, crack, heroin, mdma, ketamine, and hash oil).

but since dope is such a hassle to get now, ive had to resort to friends who can get expensive roxi 20's and the most ungodly priced roxi 30's ive ever encountered. the struggle, lol

but what have i missed around here?


----------



## subotai

what's good jeebis, this is shimazu if you remember me. glad to see youre keepin on

The more I think about it, legit west coast and CO weed isn't hard to get at all if you search in the right places so honestly, I'd rather live on thew East Coast considering the heroin supply. 

I can get weed rather easily, I don't know if people in Colorado could say that about (good) heroin

Ricky Fowler got me LIKE WHOA

lol

"stuff is ruining my life...."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"good thing I live in the Northeast tho"


----------



## jeebis

from personal experience, i pay far less for killer bud (what i was buying top shelf in the dispensaries out there) here than i did out there. i mean, yea, it's because of taxes and i dont have my medical card out there, but still. it's still such a wild feeling being like "fuck it. i wanna get obnoxiously stoned right now. i think im gonna walk 800 feet down the block to the weed store".

but in my experience, in denver: weed/oil is literally everywhere (duh), meth is cheap and plentiful, coke is expensive but around, heroin is hard to find/primarily tar, psychadelics are fucking everywhere, and pills are cheap as fuck since apparently wyoming/montana is the florida of the mid west/west coast. i paid less for 50 roxi 5's than i did an 8th of weed out there, lol

but then again, i saw pretty lights live at red rocks and brought acid (dutch needlepoint from around here) out west. tripped nuts, then  traded the extra 2 tabs for the first instant release opanas ive seen since the op/new opana time release became a thing. and i got a hand full of weed from a guy named sweaty (no joke), that he grew (called it 303 kush), and said he used to shoot heroin in brooklyn and that i should "consider this a welcome to colorado present".

the people were cool, but the drugs (except weed) are meh. i'll take ny dope/coke/lsd/mdma/ketamine any day of the week. although the rockies have the best mushrooms ive ever encountered

edit: and because the only good dope connect i have is only selling buns or more, i had to settle for 4 roxi 20s and now im waiting on weed. ugh. booooooooooooo


----------



## chefman

Phone connect fire lately!!


----------



## subotai

jeebis said:


> from personal experience, i pay far less for killer bud (what i was buying top shelf in the dispensaries out there) here than i did out there. i mean, yea, it's because of taxes and i dont have my medical card out there, but still. it's still such a wild feeling being like "fuck it. i wanna get obnoxiously stoned right now. i think im gonna walk 800 feet down the block to the weed store".
> 
> but in my experience, in denver: weed/oil is literally everywhere (duh), meth is cheap and plentiful, coke is expensive but around, heroin is hard to find/primarily tar, psychadelics are fucking everywhere, and pills are cheap as fuck since apparently wyoming/montana is the florida of the mid west/west coast. i paid less for 50 roxi 5's than i did an 8th of weed out there, lol
> 
> but then again, i saw pretty lights live at red rocks and brought acid (dutch needlepoint from around here) out west. tripped nuts, then  traded the extra 2 tabs for the first instant release opanas ive seen since the op/new opana time release became a thing. and i got a hand full of weed from a guy named sweaty (no joke), that he grew (called it 303 kush), and said he used to shoot heroin in brooklyn and that i should "consider this a welcome to colorado present".
> 
> the people were cool, but the drugs (except weed) are meh. i'll take ny dope/coke/lsd/mdma/ketamine any day of the week. although the rockies have the best mushrooms ive ever encountered
> 
> edit: and because the only good dope connect i have is only selling buns or more, i had to settle for 4 roxi 20s and now im waiting on weed. ugh. booooooooooooo



yeah I hear you man. I see people on the internet and BL in specifically bragging about how their area has "____ and ____ ALL OVER THE PLACE!!11! now" and I just kind of chuckle to myself. 

I know it's absolutely nothing to be proud of, and nothing I'm even responsible for personally, but it still is part of my life. 

Of the top 5 most populated cities in the US, Philadelphia is at the end with roughly 1,555,000 people. Now I know there are no concrete ways of measuring this, but I would be willing to bet there is just as many people in involved in the drug game in Philly as there are in any of the 4 cities in front of it (NYC, LA, Chi, Houston).

Not per capita either, just straight up PEOPLE.

I can get ounces of legitimate dispensary weed mailed to me by some guy in Washington state who I don't know and will never meet for more or less Cali prices and be just fine

you COULD get stamps of heroin sent to your house, but odds are they are going to be rather shitty considering there isn't a guy down the street from the dealer who has even better shit. These guys literally sell dirt with a little fleck of heroin in it and people who order it online and dont what what real dope feels like are just "aww yeah FIRE again THANKS MAN"

And yeah, I must reiterate that I'm aware that bragging about your heroin connections just looks like you're a scumbag but at the same time, fuck it. im gonna be proud of this shit

I still remember the first time I got in my car and drove down to the ghetto to cold cop. I passed over a few possible targets at first for various reasons and wound up with dope with 25 mins. 

I know that's not going to get me any job interviews or anything but you know what?

I do feel pretty fucking proud of myself for being able to say that. Heroin MAKES you became self-sufficient, unless youre some kind of trust fund baby

which Im not. when my dad dies he'll probably leave me his vacuum and hat collection.

so I can cold cop with my 76ers snapback on of course

I still miss my friend wayne man. such an extremely up and down portion of my life over the past 4 years and he always had my back about shit and vice versa for both the highs and the lows. Im fuckin cryin as Intype this man im fuckin wrecked over that still. 

we might have argued over some petty shit like a bag or two here and there but at the end of the day if I hit him up and said "yo im in a jam here", he was gonna help me out

Indont got nobody I can trust anymore


----------



## subotai

and why do people always gotta keep trying to crack jokes at the cash register, then get an offended face when I dont laugh hysterically? 

damn Ik already trying to pretend you dont exist, this only delays that process

im just fucking sick of our society in general. I have to live a double life every fucking day just so I can get to the next one. And im sure countless people probably interact with me and goe "oh he's such a nice young man!" but in thr back of my mind the whole time im just trying to forget they exist. 

im such a nice young man until you find out I do heroin. what exactly changed in that timespan? 

im fucking sick of life


----------



## subotai

and I shouldnt even be working at this cash register this is fucking retarded. this fat bitch I work with is the assistant manager so she acts like ringing people up is beneath her and her made-up title so I get left here as she waddles around and pulls bottles for orders (aka, you basically fucking go shopping with a clipboard)

and these people I work with just expect me to work hard for them because I am extremely good at what I do but at the same time fuck that, not unless im on heroin.. 

oh yeah so thays why me doijgn dope is so negative, fuckijgnwith my work productionnright?  not a chance, I just dont work hard for peopoe I dont like and only donwork hard for thrm whenn im on drugs

i just want to go home and pretend this doesnt exist until the last part of that becomes true about myself in general


----------



## lilczey

I kno these feelz bro


----------



## subotai

damn I dont remember typing any of that. 

I remember talkin shit on my fat boss butthat was it

here's to my one true friend, Mr. Harry Win

i give myself until the end of this year to figure some shit out or im just gonna start IVing my dope instead. I probably just had shitty dope the last time I shot up but if I had jjst shot up "THIS SHIT RIGHTBHERE  NIQQA"

id prob be wll lomemo

damn these bags are good as fuck though im suddenly not concerned with anything I said
llkkk
thats another thing czey, im down to meet up eventually for sure I just have to do the ole' "gotta get my shit together" spiel lol


----------



## jeebis

ayeeee im apparently waiting on a dope drop lol. my friend called me and said something about how he "borrowed" (stole) money from his girl to get a bun, because he only had 3/4ths of the money for a bun and a bun is his guys minimum...either way he just begged me to buy a few bags off him and get him weed for his girl so she doesnt freak at him lol


----------



## subotai

and right on queue I go ahead and find 3 MMG bags I thought had been lost forever since christmas time in the very snow hat I went to get them in. there's a story behind these bags, but im gonna walk the dog and try to remember the finer details before I just start halfassing it and spilling someone nonsense on the page. Here's a trailer though: picture me driving down I-95 with my hood bent up sharply (and illegally), smoking a blunt while high on heroin and listening to sports radio


*NSFW*:


----------



## Tommyboy

lilczey said:


> Kendra is actually a girl
> 
> She is very good walking now a lil bit she's almost a year now next month..
> 
> I had relapsed on needles when my baby moms went to jail for child support on July 4th..
> 
> Whoa actually I stopped the needle a month ago to the dot.. Wow i thought it's been longer fuck me..  After 3 years of none needle use.. Yeah i sniffed shit but I can manage with sniffing.. Ontop of that I was strictly on suboxone..
> 
> So the opportunity raised its head that I cud put down these exspensive ass pills and pick up cheap ass heroin and not have to go anywhere near Camden to get it,  um duh
> Yes please.. And from a close friend that I have known for a couple years..
> 
> But it has to stop.. All of it has to stop..  Yeah i maintain and sell so i get high for free but my customers have all but disappeared but 1 so i started spending my own money, which I refuse to do.. That's my one of my rules.. And not going to Camden lol..
> 
> So im almost there..  I did a half a 30 only yesterday at 9:30am and was Withdrawaling by 10:00pm.. I struggled thru last night and took my final piece of suboxone today..
> 
> I am trying so hard.. Not to spend cash.. And i won't..
> 
> Hope all of yu are well... Love ya all man..



So how does it work with someone having to go to jail for not paying child support? I know it sucks if they aren't paying but I don't see how jail is a solution since they definitely aren't paying you then.

And on the topic of oxy, it really has no legs.  I found that no matter how late in the night that I did it I would wake up sick.  It only holds you a little when you start spacing it out once every 2 or 3 days, so once your body adjusts you don't get that sick until like 36 hrs in.


----------



## subotai

whoa wtf was I even talking about, benzos and dope are the devil. I should know better than that.

I guess what I was trying to say is that it is difficult for me to show up to my employer and NOT work hard without even thinking about it but at this job I seriously have to tell myself at least twice an hour

"fuck these people. you do not need to make their jobs easier because they don't do shit themselves yet bitch the most about shit"

I don't have a problem with government, I have a problem with the average government employee. And I think I might make people feel insecure about themselves because Im way younger than all of these people, learned and used the technology way faster than any of them, don't have the attitude of someone who is completely miserable (or Im just good at hiding it), get along well with customers of all walks of life (some of the people are seriously like afraid to help black people find stuff because they dont want to have to tell them we don't have what theyre looking for. not even kidding, people are such pussies), can meet all of the physical demands of the job (whereas every other person you talk to "o my back!, oh my hip!, oh my vag!"), dont have a problem working with anyone (mostly because I know I can just do all the work and tell them to go front the Vladimir or something), and in all seriousness I just have a likeable face. 

It goes both ways though, people who are satisfied with their lives will appreciate and enjoy working with me. 

people who fucking hate their lives and are insecure about shit generally try and point out every single thing that I do wrong.

and the only problem I have with that is that they just point out that Im not doing it, THEIR WAY. The end result is the same, but it wasnt done how THEY WERE TAUGHT

so I basically have a bunch of miserable and ugly as shit managers telling me every day that what Im doing is wrong, yet customer after customer tells me how good of a job im doing

so you know what, I don't really give a fuck because miserable people are going to be miserable regardless of whether it was my fault or not.

I see why I can come across as miserable on BL though, but it's mainly because I have to deal with BS at my job all day and get no credit for the shit I do, then I come home and get no credit for the shit I do around here, and then I come on BL and get bitched at for doing exactly what is says in The Lounge description so I really dont give a fuck anymore

it probably wouldnt hurt if I started getting laid again. I dont even know if the random one night stands I had back in the day could be considered enough to be able to say "again" really. I've always been able to talk to girls pretty well actually I just got fuckin strung out on drugs and stopped talking to everybody period. damn i need to stop going into full detail about my life on BL, stop doing heroin, and go fuck the shit out of some 19 year old snatch after I buy her some Chardonnay with 7 gold medals that don't mean anything

I'm only miserable when Im coming down off drugs tbh, any other time and I will give you the shirt off my back. I usually like to go shirtless on heroin anyway LOL

damn brah that world is ours dope, im starting to think I could cure cancer if I got off at the right exit off 95


----------



## subotai

and that's what pisses me off about our society's stance on drugs the most, it makes people completely overlook anything else you do except for the drugs

everything Ive done in my life, and if I tell someone I like heroin it instantly means nothing

some fucking world we live in

and youll get the douchebags: "oh are you a doctor? are you a lawyer (I prob could be tbh)"

as if those are the only two professions in existence and that matter

no, Im not either of those. But I am a damned good worker, and that translates to any and every profession where you actually have to DO WORK

not just go to school for 17 years and shuffle a few papers around "hey sorry youre going to jail for 4-5 years"

gee thanks, it only fucking says that in the legal code. thanks for telling me what I could have found out on my own

and doctors, omg what a hard job. considering technology does 99% of your fucking job (excluding surgeons) anyway, Im not really sure why everyone is still on their dick. I can do a better job explaining to you how a lot of drugs will make you feel than any fucking doctor will. believe that


----------



## lilczey

Yeah bro I'm down for the meet up man.. 

Come as you are doe bro yu dont need to get ur shit together to hang out.. 

If yu can inbox me 

Happy labor day ya all.. Im waiting in a ride and going out towards Trenton getting some oxy 15s as soon as I get out there too


----------



## chinky

lol this last page reminds me a little of my old rants


----------



## lilczey

You use to go off chinky


----------



## chinky

that I did..and who am I to say that I wont again

I tend to go off when im really strung out and high...so until I find dope here it should wait


----------



## jeebis

so my boss finally gave me my check, lol. so i came home, bought 4 stamps, a quarter o of some Sour Sweet Tooth (sweet tooth x sour diesel), and am trying to convince one of my friends to drive me 40 minutes north so i can get a bunch of op20's for really damn cheap.

decent day. nodding off 3 of the 4 stamps, ripping the bong, and blasting some Milo & Otis. decent tuesday lol

edit: i couldnt get the op 20's, but i found a new mdma connect and figured i'd hit him up. i show up and he has some of the firest fire moon rocks ive seen in awhile, for half the price (no exaggeration) of standard street price. i proceeded to buy a .5, 20 .5mg klonopin, and 2 8mg dilaudid off of him lol.


----------



## Bill

I haven't been around nasasddafgh in a while
Good to see sum jeebis combo posts again, they always seem to bring the jelly out of me and I'm sure I'm not alone lol

Still wonder what happened to verso and zneg


----------



## chinky

theres a few people I wonder about


----------



## tomatalli

subotai said:


> the ole' 13th step eh? smoking crack now toma?
> 
> ooo boy
> 
> err, _shooting_ crack
> 
> end result is usually the same


Yeah I was smoking crack before but I started shooting it lately.  My d dealer started selling hard and soft and for cheap too which is awesome and bad for me cus I'm thinking about getting like 4 grams of hard tomorrow


----------



## chinky

fuck that..get 4gs of dope, you will thank yourself a lot more..especially by the end of the night when your out of crack..where you will still have 3grams of dope left to do tomorrow


----------



## cj

Bill said:


> I haven't been around nasasddafgh in a while
> Good to see sum jeebis combo posts again, they always seem to bring the jelly out of me and I'm sure I'm not alone lol
> 
> Still wonder what happened to verso and zneg



Yeah I miss zneg he was really cool. I hope he's ok he just kinda disappeared.


----------



## LSDiesel

Someone in the lounge told me that zneg went to jail, got out, and is MIA currently (obviously). I just hope he's alive. He really needed(s) to be on methadone I think.


----------



## jeebis

only the sour sweet tooth, 1.5 really good bags, and 2mg klonopin tonight, fellas. but i do get paid tmrw...

im thinking a good bit of mdma, heroin, sour sweet tooth nug, mahatma shatter (super high quality 100% sativa shatter from a dispensary in denver) in my vape pen, and klonopin for the comedown when i go see Chocolate Puma this weekend at a club downtown....


----------



## Effect

tomatalli said:


> Yeah I was smoking crack before but I started shooting it lately.  My d dealer started selling hard and soft and for cheap too which is awesome and bad for me cus I'm thinking about getting like 4 grams of hard tomorrow



Didn't catch that you were back home. Hopefully things involving your home life are cool.

I've done the same a handful of times myself when hard was only available and it got the job done. Don't really like to share with others who haven't though. Stigma shit. 8)


----------



## Bill

LSDiesel said:


> Someone in the lounge told me that zneg went to jail, got out, and is MIA currently (obviously). I just hope he's alive. He really needed(s) to be on methadone I think.



Pretty sure he was on mmt
But also doing benzos, amps, and dope on the side still


----------



## Tommyboy

I'm noticing a trend with a lot of us veterans going back to using pharmaceutical opioids.  I've only done dope like 3x since the spring and have only been messing with a little oxy and dilaudid here and there. My tolerance is down so I don't want to be playing a guessing game with my doses, so that's part of the reason.  The other is that I'm trying to keep my usage and tolerance down. The last is that it's actually been more convenient dealer wise.  I'm currently off everything though but I've been doing 1 week off, 3 days on lately but hoping to go longer this time. Gave my girl my money to hold this time so that was a big step.



LSDiesel said:


> Someone in the lounge told me that zneg went to jail, got out, and is MIA currently (obviously). I just hope he's alive. He really needed(s) to be on methadone I think.



I've actually chilled with him a couple of times, but the most recent was over a year ago.  I was actually just thinking of him because I'm headed to the city tomorrow and am wearing what I wore when I chilled with him one of the times. 

The last time I chilled with him I got pretty fucked up. I met one of my girls in BK and we had like 6 beers before going over to his apartment, then I did a 2 bag shot in front of this girl who didn't even fuck with drugs but didn't mind me doing it. She had to have been uneasy being around 3 people shooting up though.  Then when I left I forgot my shirt and when I went back for it I was knocking on the wrong door for it but luckily figured that out quickly.


----------



## chinky

last time I hung out with a BLer he ended up like this


----------



## Tommyboy

^ Nice.  So Chinky, did you ever get that dope or still just messing with pharmaceuticals? 

Did any of y'all agree with noticing the pattern of a lot of veteran dope users switching back to pills? Chinky, I know yours wasn't really by choice bit it was also me, jeebis, lilczey, and I think maybe crimsonjunk that were fucking with pills instead of dope. I was wondering their reasons for doing it. I said mine was due to safety reasons, tolerance, and convenience, plus another reason was not wanting to risk getting busted since I would have to go to the hood to get dope since my only connects live there right now.


----------



## chinky

just some vicodin and them few oxy..but I sent him 75$ a week ago but he never picked it up and ive talked to him Wednesday  and was like whast good? and he was just like "ive been taking a break and working a lot but imam go and get it for you, causae i wanna get some too.. I didn't pick it up yet just so you know im not fuckin you"..i was like yeah I saw that..and so I called him yesterday and he didn't answer imam call tonite..but I checked the tracking again and he still didn't pick it up..

and im in the same boat as you about coppin dope now..i know the general area to go but being fresh outta jail im not tryin to go back so soon lol

but on the plus side I finally scored some weed and a couple BARS..i was walking my dog(which I knew was gonna be my plan to find something) and this young black guy was like "nice dog" blah blah and as I was walkin away I was like man wheres the weed at and me came back and was like "man I knew you smoked, I told my lil cousin that I bet you smoked"... so we walked over to one dudes place and he was kinda sketched out and didn't want to serve dude with me and my dog..so we went back to his house and his brother had like a dime of mids and 2bars that I bought and then I told him ill take a dub of whatever reggie or loud he can get if that dude decides to sell to you and gave him my number..and he just stopped by 5mins ago and was like I got that for you, "I was like word? ok cool,"..and brought me a gram of loud..not a fat one and by the look and smell prolly not the best kush, but imma wait to smoke that til a little bit later tonite, imam just smoke the reggie now..

I haven't smoked weed outside of a few county sticks..now on county standards I smoke pretty well, but in quantity it still prolly wasn't that much..so no matter how good this shit is imam get high and its gonna be proper for the first time in 10months


----------



## jeebis

Honestly, Tommy, the main reason I've been doing oxys as opposed to dope has been about availability. My primary dope guys kinda disappeared and I was left with (and still am stuck with) being forced to get dope either via finding a ride 40 minutes south of my city (really damn good quality dope, but fuck that drive) or copping bags whenever my friend does because his stamps are damn good quality and he will only let ppl pickup during that small window during which he is copping....thus making his bags cheaper. 

at the same time, however, i can easily walk a couple blocks and buy roxi 30s, roxi 20s, op 20s, klonopin .5mg, xanax 1mg, adderall 10mg is, adderall 20mg xr, adderall 30mg ir, and 54 mg concerta (time release methylphenidate, aka ritalin) without even having to call ahead. it's just about walking into the "college ghetto" (cheap student-occupied, non-school affiliated, absentee land lord apartments) and knowing which houses to go to. seriously, i've never had a phone number for someone in this area unless it was coke or heroin.

However, on a similar note, im cutting my 9th bag of the evening up into 2 lines right now. these bags are really really good. throw in an ounce of skywalker diesel, a 6 pack of my favorite beer of all time ( Flying Dog's Old Scratch Amber Lager), and porn.....and my god i've had a good saturday night/sunday morning.

then again last night i also smoked tons of nug, drank tons of beer,sniffed a handful of roxi 30s, smoked a little meth, ate about .18 -.2mg MDMA, did 3 fairly large lines of mediocre coke, and killed the better portion of a gram of pure Mahatma shatter (100% sativa hash oil shipped from a dispensary in denver)....so this dope has been such a goddamn welcomed addition. just been taking it kinda slow and riding the nod, my friends.

how's everyone else doing?


----------



## lilczey

chinky said:


> last time I hung out with a BLer he ended up like this


Yeah outta the 4 BLers I met

2 of them did this when I met up wit them smh.. And I can honestly say I wasn't the one sucking my own dick on all dem meet ups.. I actually am looking forward to meeting more BLers in tha near future that live in the South Jersey/ philidelphia area.. Shim was next on tha list but he's been going off about how he don't want to meet up cuz he's a heroin addict, I just told him hes fine Tha way he is but that's his call... 

Still wud like to meet up wit the rest of ya all.. 

(( side-bar )): I picked up some decent fucking dope last night blue ticket bag out of camden which I didn't go there myself.. Stamp says radioactive and there is a skull and crossbones below the radioactive lettering its decent shit... I only sniff and 2 bags blasted me thru my sub dose 8hours earlier in tha day.. 



Tommyboy said:


> ^ Nice.  So Chinky, did you ever get that dope or still just messing with pharmaceuticals?
> 
> Did any of y'all agree with noticing the pattern of a lot of veteran dope users switching back to pills? Chinky, I know yours wasn't really by choice bit it was also me, jeebis, lilczey, and I think maybe crimsonjunk that were fucking with pills instead of dope. I was wondering their reasons for doing it. I said mine was due to safety reasons, tolerance, and convenience, plus another reason was not wanting to risk getting busted since I would have to go to the hood to get dope since my only connects live there right now.


Yeah not getting arrested is a big one for me..  Since I got the kid now shit has changed alot.. I dont make the risky moves I use too.. 

Plus CAMDEN IS LITTERALLY ON FIRE RIGHT NOW!!! Luckily I get get diesel from someone who lives in the burbs and out the city and has been a friend of mine for years plus I am good friends with his brother, his kids play with mine lol his whole Puerto Rican family Hahaha and I chill wit all of them ya kno so it's all gravy.. He's the one with the radioactive shit mentioned above.. 

Another thing too is dope is litterally my last choice of shit to do.. I wud rather have a 30 instead of a bag of D.. But I have always had a love affair for oxy.. It was my first opiate ya kno..  But if I'm shooting and I kno I'm shooting which I also don't do anymore I will get dope for sure..  I will shoot both but dope is preferred..

And Idk if it's jus me but withdrawaling from shooting diesel is nuttin compared to W/Din from oxy.. Being a vet oxy sniffin W/Ds I can take on the chin and if I gotta go to work I go and take it like a boss..

Diesel shootin W/Ds put a Nigga to his knees real talk


----------



## jeebis

oxy w/d is really rough, you're right. the worst i've ever experienced was oxymorphone (opana) withdrawal....and I was IV'ing the 10mg ir's at that point. and hydrocodone withdrawal is nothing...just a runny nose for a day or two.

that was fucking hell

oh, and holy hangover, batman. I RARELY get opioid hangovers, but when I woke up this morning I was still feeling very distinctively "opiate-foggy", still nodding (not the euphoria, just the physical nod), still itchy, and my pupils were still pinned. I mean, with enough coffee and extremely good cannabis I feel alot better, but still. productive night though.


----------



## dstop123

Opana wd's are/were the worst. Was blowing 2 to 3 of the yellow 40s a day and took at least a bun to shake those wd's.


----------



## porkchops

Tommy -  You said something about getting your body used to the dose - personally I just figured this out, even though it seems like common sense. Its such an underrated aspect of dependency. Keep the shots small (subjective) and regular. Try not to binge, if you do and go back to your normal shot the day after, you're going to wake up sick. I guess you mature with your habit.

I can't see myself voluntarily going back to pills, I just hate shooting them.

Oh, and yeh opana withdrawal had me banging my head of the bedboard.


----------



## chinky

I really need to try opana now that I really don't have a tolerance


----------



## jeebis

yea....no you dont. well you do, but you really shouldnt. 

and  no dope today. no money for dope. just weed and ketamine today 

and i'd be down for a meet up. i mean, then again, nobody really lives around me (ny/ma/vt tri state area), and nyc is a bitch to get to....so...

edit: yo what the flying fuck, man? how the fuck can i have money, everyone i know with a car have money, and literally NONE of our collective people have anything. goddamn.


----------



## chinky

now I really think I should


----------



## jeebis

well that backfired lol.


----------



## jeebis

double post dgaf

but really? are you kidding me? after giving up on my search for all things opiates (no roxis, no dope, sub guy is mia, methadone guy is fucking an hour a way, hydro guy is 45 min away, and everyone else is being a dick.), i caved and bought a half gram of ketamine and a 6 pack of my favorite beer (breckenridge agave wheat. ugh. so good), only to have my guy from like 45 minutes south tell me HES IN MY CITY AND TRYING TO GET RID OF SHIT.

are you serious with this bullshit right now? if i had a couple grand id go down to nyc and get a fuckton of roxis from my guy down there lol


----------



## lilczey

jeebis said:


> double post dgaf
> 
> but really? are you kidding me? after giving up on my search for all things opiates (no roxis, no dope, sub guy is mia, methadone guy is fucking an hour a way, hydro guy is 45 min away, and everyone else is being a dick.), i caved and bought a half gram of ketamine and a 6 pack of my favorite beer (breckenridge agave wheat. ugh. so good), only to have my guy from like 45 minutes south tell me HES IN MY CITY AND TRYING TO GET RID OF SHIT.
> 
> are you serious with this bullshit right now? if i had a couple grand id go down to nyc and get a fuckton of roxis from my guy down there lol


Mah nigga I kno these feels


----------



## jeebis

^the feels, man.

let alone i think i just got fucked out roxi money last night. my good friend (never had an issue with him etc etc) and i went to his roxi guys place last night. whatever, all is well. we go up to the door. say whatsup, all that shit, blah blah. he says he has roxis downtown, not on him, and he was going there soon and to meet him there (done it before so i didnt think twice)

well my dumb ass falls asleep before my dude gets them, i dont hear him call me a bunch of times, and idk if hes gonna be able to stopa nd give me my roxis or my money back before he goes to long island for the weekend, which means im fucked outta my money for the weekend. fuck.


----------



## tomatalli

I'm gonna get a gram and a half of coke and 7-8 bundles gonna be a great weekend


----------



## jeebis

tomatalli said:


> I'm gonna get a gram and a half of coke and 7-8 bundles gonna be a great weekend



need any help with that?


----------



## chinky

forreal


----------



## jeebis

toma: chinky and i are coming over. since you have the coke and dope, i'll clearly bring the weed. chink, im gonna have to ask you to stop and get some beer on your way in. some Brooklyn Lager or anything from Flying Dog or Breckenridge will do just nicely. 

im gonna have to ask everyone to go ahead and bring their own rigs and straws and other paraphernalia shenanigans (i will clearly bring RAW papers with the weed, so no need to bring bowls and such). I'll even bring some killer pizza with me, my treat.

ok, so then it's official. Bluelight GHD Pizza-heroin-weed-alcohol-and-cocaine party at Toma's place. im ready whenever, toma. just p.m. us your address and we'll be there as soon as possible. k? k.


----------



## dstop123

Toma, i hope you live in Mass!  Id love to help you out.


----------



## chinky

lets do it


----------



## jeebis

come on chink. lets do this shit lol. toma...where we going?

fuck: another day where i dont have money, dont have good drugs (outside of maybe ~.5g of weed which makes me way too uncomfortable. im addicted to super high quality weed like i am to heroin on a psychological level. possibly worse), and have a gram of mdma that NOONE wants to trade for weed/dope/weed and dope money. thats bullshit. Borgore/gta/jack eye jones is playing downtown in the most drug friendly venue (in terms of being a good place to take drugs. they take 0 shit when it comes to drugs if they find them on you. except weed. noone gives a fuck about the green) in my city and yet noone out of my extensive list of dirty rave kid/wookie/junkie/general drug user phone contacts wants some bomb ass mdma? i find that hard to believe. ugh. 

if i get rid of it i can get an 8th of some funky funk nug and 4-5 bags /or/60mgs of oxycodone. boo you whores. my friends suck.


----------



## LSDiesel

Anyone else notice JunkieDays is missing?


----------



## jeebis

LSDiesel said:


> Anyone else notice JunkieDays is missing?



you got a point there. he might be like me, doing shit for a couple months only to resurface doing the same ole stupid shit.


----------



## chinky

or like me...


and yeah where we going?


----------



## jeebis

toma's place. but idk where he lives. fuck. either that or you can come up to NY lol


----------



## chinky

ok give me like 20, maybe 30 mins..

that's about the distance right?


----------



## jeebis

i'd say 45 minutes to factor in traffic. just to be safe.

and really? once again, i have cash and noone answers. such bullshit.


----------



## chinky

^the absolute worst aside from being sick and that happeneing


that or callin your guy a few times and he doesn't answer and so you call a backup and you get just about down there to the back up and dude calls back..."fuck im turning around"..


----------



## jeebis

chinky said:


> ^the absolute worst aside from being sick and that happeneing
> 
> 
> that or callin your guy a few times and he doesn't answer and so you call a backup and you get just about down there to the back up and dude calls back..."fuck im turning around"..



EVERY FUCKING TIME. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. i have to do that shit all the time. mainly for weed. and it's always RIGHT when i hop on the bus or get a ride, which pisses me off, because my super awesome/super cheap weed dude lives ON THE SAME FUCKING CORNER AS THE BUSSTOP.

or ill be travelling to my favorite (but expensive) d connect and someone comes through with some other shit closer to home.


----------



## somnilicious

Junkie Days posted on another forum that he was going to rehab I believe.


----------



## jeebis

thats good then. more power to him (or her? idk. lol)

and fucking a. my dude has some killer bags, but i have no ride there, and the kid who i was gonna split a bun with wants the fucking world for driving 20 minutes. i mean, i'd take the fucking bus if the bus went to THAT ghetto, lol. if i do that i'll  have 0 marijuanas left and no money until monday for it

boooooo

edit: YAY! FINALLY GOT BAGS IN MY HANDS!!! theyre kinda small but really damn strong. theyre pink bags with "Barbie Army" on it with barbie written in the logo font and a regular font for the word army. feels lovely though


----------



## jeebis

holy good luck, batman. i was flat broke and struggling to ration what little weed i have left.

now, i just got 5 bags of fire, im getting a FREE roxi 30, and im waiting for a call back about an 8th of some skywalker diesel. right the fuck on.


----------



## chinky

Must be nice


----------



## jeebis

chinky said:


> Must be nice



it is after getting fucked all this week, and i mean fucked in the worst way possible

although i couldnt get the nug cuz, well, he couldnt deliver until tomorrow. oops. but i got a good high going on so im kosher with it, until i sober up


----------



## jeebis

OH GOOD LORD MY FRIEND HAS A SCRIPT FOR 5MG IR OPANA! he cant fill it until tomorrow, but jesus christ. yay!


----------



## chinky

fuck you maaannnn


----------



## ATLL765

I'm an idiot for spending money I need to pay bills, but now I get to stay up all night shooting coke and dope so, ya know, it's all good, right? God damn junkie logic I used to justify this one lol.


----------



## jeebis

*breaks out the shmoney dance*

awww yea. my old roxi connect is driving up from the city on friday. bringing me a brick of staten island's finest, and then hes bringing a bunch of blues for other ppl around here i guess. figured id dump a ton of money into the brick and then just trade him bud for blues. this weekend is going to be like fucking christmas, man.

edit: i have it worked out that i *should* be trading a couple of the bags im getting to my opana guy for a fist full of opana. and a fist full of this sky walker for a gaggle of roxis. i may or may not be breathing come monday morning, especially since my k(and now coke too) guy owes me money....but then again...its only monday so who the hell knows.


----------



## jeebis

^ i lold. 

and what are your opinions on this? i got fucked on 2 roxis (handed fake pills) so i went to the guys house, knocked on his door, and since he wasnt home i told his roommate to tell him to have my money or product tomorrow or i'll be back.

was that overkill? everyone is like "thats fucked man. it was just two roxis" but the 4 guys i had in the car waiting said that it was justified. i mean, i only went after him because ive known him for years and hes never done me like that before and once i started hitting him up saying theyre fake his phone mysteriously shut off so i went to his house. 

that's not a crazy thing to do....is it?


----------



## lilczey

somnilicious said:


> Junkie Days posted on another forum that he was going to rehab I believe.


Yeah he lives close to me and knows some of the same people I know..

Im friends with him on fb.. I saw someone I think his mom post on his wall or possibly a sister I'm not sure but he's either in rehab or Jail..  Im going to try to text him I'm almost positive I still have his number


----------



## lilczey

jeebis said:


> ^ i lold.
> 
> and what are your opinions on this? i got fucked on 2 roxis (handed fake pills) so i went to the guys house, knocked on his door, and since he wasnt home i told his roommate to tell him to have my money or product tomorrow or i'll be back.
> 
> was that overkill? everyone is like "thats fucked man. it was just two roxis" but the 4 guys i had in the car waiting said that it was justified. i mean, i only went after him because ive known him for years and hes never done me like that before and once i started hitting him up saying theyre fake his phone mysteriously shut off so i went to his house.
> 
> that's not a crazy thing to do....is it?


They are all over nj

The fakes man be careful broski they were the fake A215s right?


----------



## cj

lilczey said:


> Yeah he lives close to me and knows some of the same people I know..
> 
> Im friends with him on fb.. I saw someone I think his mom post on his wall or possibly a sister I'm not sure but he's either in rehab or Jail..  Im going to try to text him I'm almost positive I still have his number


Yeah he said he was going to rehab


----------



## subotai

when I run out of dope I lose feeling in my hands, well all extremities really

it's really weird. the cold sweats are possibly the weirdest thing you will ever feel. such an oxymoron: cold sweat.

and then you make it all go away for one of the best highs on earth

damn, how does anyone quit this shit?

i dont want to chase my dreams, I just want to go to work and get high. millions of people do that with other drugs every fucking day, if I didnt have to deal with this logistical bullshit and dice rolling of getting heroin I absolutely could stay productive.

"oh out of dope? alright go down to the store and get some more"

that takes 5 mins. money goes to the economy. I get my drugs. nobody is hurt. win/win

real life

"ok Im gonna run out of dope in a day, I need to go risk my entire legal freedom just to be able to buy this shit off some guy who knows barely anything about the product besides it's fire"

money goes in some suitcase somewhere, winds up in Mexico. I am probably being overcharged although relatively speaking compared to some places its not so bad

and im out of dope now too sometjing has to give

stamp of the week: Sonic

idk if thats a Sega or fast food reference but i like... a lot...


----------



## tomatalli

Lol I ended up getting 12 bundles and 2 grams of coke last week it was my far the best coke I've ever had It was in a solid rock I had to smash with my fist with a card over it.  I'm hoping I get a ride out today.


----------



## jeebis

tomatalli said:


> Lol I ended up getting 12 bundles and 2 grams of coke last week it was my far the best coke I've ever had It was in a solid rock I had to smash with my fist with a card over it.  I'm hoping I get a ride out today.



im waiting on my staten island friend to drive up with a brick (but nyc bags are 2x what an upstate bag is in size), ball of yay, and 20 roxi 30's. then we're going to get a fuckload of ketamine, mdma, Bruce Banner #3 (some of the best bud ive ever seen), then get completely shwasted before i go to a whiskey distillery tour/tasting with my mother tomorrow afternoon. 

a true Jeebis-Combo night. the usual combo (dope/coke/weed) with a fuckload of unneccesary psychadelics and auxillary substances thrown in. 

toma: my nigga, calm your tits. too much ofeither  of your mixing ingredients is a horrible thing. do you have any idea how many times i've fucked up combos like i just posted in order for me to learn how to properly pull off a Jeebis-Combo? i should be dead. but instead my friends and i drop a couple grand on weekends like this because it's the first time ive seen my friend and his girl since like february.

tomorrow is gonna suck, tonight will be interesting, and thank the fucking lord my friend's girlfriend has narcan/knows how to use it/doesnt do opiates.

edit: actually tomorrow and sunday wont suck because the amount of leftover shit i should have. monday. monday will fucking suck.


----------



## Smoky

i don't know ….
i am a woman so i wear woman's underwear, but i am not wearing underwear and using heroin anymore today. 

just the underwear, and some clothes.


----------



## jeebis

Smoky said:


> i don't know ….
> i am a woman so i wear woman's underwear, but i am not wearing underwear and using heroin anymore today.
> 
> just the underwear, and some clothes.



what?


----------



## porkchops

I'll buy your panties for $100.


----------



## tomatalli

Bought 9bs and 2gs of soft.  I just did such a big shot of soft I threw up because the rush was so intense.  My heart is beating pretty hard right now so I'm gonna take a break for like a half hour


----------



## tomatalli

jeebis said:


> toma: my nigga, calm your tits. too much ofeither  of your mixing ingredients is a horrible thing. do you have any idea how many times i've fucked up combos like i just posted in order for me to learn how to properly pull off a Jeebis-Combo? i should be dead. but instead my friends and i drop a couple grand on weekends like this because it's the first time ive seen my friend and his girl since like february.



What? I don't do crazy ass combos like you just coke and dope


----------



## Smoky

i was responding to the title… of course though - i have no idea of its origin. just grateful i'm not where i was a few months ago. 

btw, someone mentioned on this thread about losing feeling in their hands. that would happen to me every morning before i dosed. it was rather terrifying, especially in my left arm… and the pain in my hands were quite violent as if my limbs were not mine, separate from my body … excruciating agony - unbearable. very odd?!


----------



## jeebis

that makes alot more sense, smoky. 

and toma, i know, but trust me. it's how i started. then you'll end up like me...casually mixing heroin/weed/coke/mdma/dmt/klonopin/adderall/liquor like its nothing. 

but tonight is a mild night. 25 bags of the finest heroin nyc has to offer, an ounce of bruce banner #3, and my plans got postponed until tmrw because i got piss drunk, sniffed 2 bags, and passed the fuck out. 

but they're killer bags. anyone in the NYC area should keep a look out for the wide white bags stamped "proudly featuring boar's head" w/ the boar's head deli meat logo in blue. dark tan dope. smoothest shit i've ever put up my nose, and takes a couple minutes to hit.

then comes the glorious feeling that starts in your stomach and works it's way out. gently wrapping you in the warm cozy blanket that is heroin. rolled a j of the bruce banner to go along with it, got piss drunk at family dinner off a bottle of wine, and my god. good ass night. 

sadly i have to wait until tmrw to do the rest of the drugs. he had a girl with him and wanted to get his dick wet. i dont blame him at all lol.


----------



## subotai

I dont mix dope with anything but weed anymore

thought I was gonna die with xanax once

never really fucked with coke

amphetamines DO NOT go well with heroin

im not even sure why youd want to fuck with the dope high, das it mane


----------



## Bill

Doing coke or crack on/mixed with dope is the best shim
No come down...


----------



## jeebis

i usually dont mix benzos and opiates (because i dont want to die) except for occasionally a little klonopin if i only have a small amount of opiates left

and ketamine, i would say, is one of, if not the most dangerous to mix. i almost died a few times that way

and honestly, i like to mix my drugs to change the overall experience.

but im super fucked up right now. sniffed a handful of bags and smoked only a couple j's, with nothin else all day except for a few glasses of wine around 6pm, and fucked up would be an understatement.

edit: Bill, i completely agree. i dont fuck with stimulants because i have a severe anxiety disorder, and opiates or large quantities of benzos for after are the only way i can do coke, mdma, amphetamine, methamphetamine, mdma, and LSD in some situations


----------



## subotai

no comedown from what? I never even considered opiates to have a comedown, you just fall asleep IME

and I never did coke enough on it's own to use heroin for that comedown. usually id just smoke weed and lay on the couch

ive smoked crack three times in my life and saw all I needed to see. 

if Im gonna waste my life away on a drug it's gon be heroin not crack. I know you guys feel me on that

its getting cold out soon. I only cold cop in the winter time now, the shittier it is outside the better. I cant wait for the first snow storm of the year, I love being down the city all bundled up (pun intended) because nobody knows your white unless theyre right up on you and it just feels like a Winter drug wonderland. being warm from dope in the snow is such an indescribable feeling, and Philly really is full of some of the funniest shit you will ever see. The last time I went down in the snow was on my birthday (March 11th) and I wound up waiting at a bus station until 5am in the morning but mission accomplished. 

it seriously makes copping 1,000 times safer when it is snowing out


----------



## Bill

The come down from cocaine 
It's pure bliss already high on dope and doing coke/smoking crack and knowing you still have a nice fat come down shot of h waiting


----------



## jeebis

ive smoked crack a few times in my life, and it kinda sucked unless i was nodding. my favorite was to sniff a fat bag of dope, then I IMMEDIATELY take a massive bong rip of the finest green i can find, and follow that with a huge hit of crack IMMEDIATELY after I exhale the weed smoke.

weed makes EVERYTHING better, and by the time you start to come down from the rip of crack the dope is beginning to kick in so you dont feel like shit.

smoked meth a handful of times, and sniffed/ate it even fewer times, and the only way I could physically and mentally handle the comedown at the time was to get junk'd the fuck out. I've always been more sensative to stimulsnts than most and, as i previously said, have a very severe anxiety disorder so the come down is literally pure hell.

thats why i stick to my all time end-all-be-all-combination-to-surpass-all-combinations of medical quality high end marijuana and a nose chock full o' new york's finest powder heroin


----------



## jeebis

well that was an interesting ass weekend. officially out of dope. boo.

nodding off the last 3 i did earlier, but atleast im getting a bunch of klonopin and still have a bunch of AK47 left.


----------



## Pharcyde

so much dicksizing itt


----------



## subotai

how's your dope been lately Pharcyde? I didnt really think anyone was trying to dicksize and honestly Ive seen far more textbook examples of it at least

im still doing the Sonic thing, im feeling pretty good


----------



## Pharcyde

subotai said:


> how's your dope been lately Pharcyde? I didnt really think anyone was trying to dicksize and honestly Ive seen far more textbook examples of it at least
> 
> im still doing the Sonic thing, im feeling pretty good



the.dope around.town has been decent quality. mostly the whiteish stuff lately. its pretty good. we get this brown stuff thats been bomb it usually comes Round for a week or.so everymonth. then the all grey stuff which is pretty good and thebmostly white with greyish spots which is bomb. like instant nod. theres no pulling out of it lol. but we have alot of white stuff that turn like a soft gooey paste when water is added but dissolves quick when stirred.

as for dick sizing somebidy was like oooh i got like eighty oxys and five grams for like a bunch of diff.posts.


----------



## chinky

you still in mich?


----------



## Pharcyde

yep


----------



## chinky

man I haven't been up there is a few years..i used to spend the 4th of july there for like 8-10years in a row cause my friends family had a place in paw paw..and they had big 4th party and then I would go to new buffalo too to my other friends house

I knew you said you got family from there too


----------



## subotai

yeah idk I guess thats slight dicksizing. everyone has their moments I guess. 

im not sure what to say about the colors, probably just different cuts being used. the shit ive been getting for the past two months or so is that nice beige color ive grown fond of. I described it as the color of balsa wood to Tommyboy before I think. stamped shit, going on the 2nd edition with this stuff atm. used to be called Puma. thats why id be like "ricky fowler got me like whoa" but then like a month ago it got changed to Sonic and this seems to have less cut. theres less powder in the bag but the bags are just as strong if not stronger. 

I dont even realize I get high on dope anymore, it just kind of happens and then when I run out I just ass around for a day or two until I can get more. I need to do something with myself or im just going to OD some day


----------



## Bill

I never had good experience with grey dope around here
I've seen pretty much every color and consistency

The light tan chunks were always my fav


----------



## chinky

I miss dope

I haven't found any yet..but ihavent really really looked..i haven't gone to the one area I know has it cause im actuaklly a little nervous too..i havebt copped off the street in years even back at home where its real easy..but especially in an area that I don't know and haven't really had a talk with anyone about it either..its all stories about the bluff, never people who been there themselves..and why is that one area the only spot to get it..all around atl is kinda hood, like even the nice areas got a little hood so where is all the drugs?


and the best mix bag dope I ad was always the light tan dope with that strong viniugar smell..but they say you should never judge dope by color and you shouldn't but I went to my one maindear for a so long(like years) that I knew instanyl how his new batch of dope was just by the color and it was always the dope with the offwhite /tannish color that was his best..

the best raw was always the dark grey dope that is harder the shit and you need to beak it up in a mortar and pestle or something heavy duty cause you wil crack the cd/dvd case and maybe youre ID too..you need a bowl and a mallet to crush it and when it hits water the piece of raw just dissolves into this ice tea and nothing dissolves off of it..like when you thromix bags on water and the cut dissolves and you can see the brown dope in it..he raw is just that, no cut ..so the piece you put in, just dissolves into the dope, with nothing dissolving and disappearing in the water


----------



## subotai

yeah I know what youre saying. stuff is too good sometimes I swear...

actually i have no idea what youre saying I never got grey dope before. 

but I can appreciate looking at pieces of cut floating around in liquid


----------



## oldhippytony

I've been away from this thread since midsummer, enjoying life. As of 9/1/14 I'm also completely free from daily suboxone use, after 2.5 years. The last month or so before 9/1 I was taking .125 mg (yes, one eighth) and would still have mild withdrawal after about 36 hours so I bought some kratom (first time) and made a seamless, and painless, transition.  I started by taking around 16 grams earlier this month (Sept) when I stopped taking the subox and today I'm down to around 6-8 grams per day. I swallow 3-4 grams in the morning and again same dose at night.  Will I be able to successfully wean from the kratom?  Time will tell.

I haven't done dope since first weekend of June. I took a train to NYC to watch the Belmont stakes and was invited to stay at a friend's apartment. By pure coincidence the apartment was located on 25rd St. and 2nd Ave., just around the corner from the only methadone clinic I've even been enrolled in, some 30 years ago! Man did that bring back memories.  Anyway, I took a cab from the train station to the apartment, and when I stepped out of the cab to grab my luggage from the trunk, an older Spanish dude asked "you need any help?"  He clearly was looking for a couple of bucks in return for helping to carry my luggage to the apartment.  I told him I didn't need help with my bags, but that I would hook him up if he could hook me up with some dope.  At first he was astonished. While I'll always consider myself a junky (I love "junk"), I look NOTHING like your stereotypical junky. Needless to say within 10 minutes I was buying a bundle from some dude in a pizza shop in the neighborhood.  I spent the rest of the weekend in nod-land.  It was heavenly.  Since I wasn't using all of the suboxone that I was being prescribed at the time, I was able to return home and use the "extra" suboxone that I had saved to get me through mild withdrawals (discomfort, actually) suffered from shooting a bundle of dope over the weekend.  

Anyway, I spent today catching up by reading all 14 pages of this thread. 


_somnilicious_- sorry for your loss.  I hope your need to numb the pain, while understandable, hasn't led you down a road that will be difficult to return from. 
_toma_- glad you made it into a program that includes methadone.  I'm not sure if that's still a part of your daily routine however, since more recent posts speak of copping bundles and shooting coke too.  I'm also interested in knowing what your dad did when he found your dope. And for your BL'ers who were (jokingly) looking to meetup for a big party with Toma, good luck with that. I was traveling through his area recently and tried to hook up with Toma for some coffee and while he stated he was open to it, when push came to shove he left me hangin'. 
_subtoi_- you've been very prolific as of late, at least on this thread, and I enjoy reading your stuff.  I particularly enjoyed reading about your experiences on the job.  Your references to death via OD and even suicide have me concerned, however.  
_crimson_- last time I was on here, you were shipping off to rehab in Florida, accompanied by your parents if I recall correctly.  How'd that go?  
Finally, did _Mr Scags_ avoid jail time?  I've been to Rikers Island and to other NYC Dept of Corrections facilities, both wearing a blue uniform as well as being on the other side of the bars, and in both cases, my time there SUCKED!


----------



## subotai

yo tony ill respond to your message once I get some dope. trying to save battery

my name is Tony in a roundabout way, thats funny. never went by it though. long story. short battery life. low brightness

damn 4g kills this shit. first world problem for sure

mr scag is in jail atm iirc.


----------



## cj

oldhippytony said:


> Anyway, I spent today catching up by reading all 14 pages of this thread.
> 
> 
> _somnilicious_- sorry for your loss.  I hope your need to numb the pain, while understandable, hasn't led you down a road that will be difficult to return from.
> _toma_- glad you made it into a program that includes methadone.  I'm not sure if that's still a part of your daily routine however, since more recent posts speak of copping bundles and shooting coke too.  I'm also interested in knowing what your dad did when he found your dope. And for your BL'ers who were (jokingly) looking to meetup for a big party with Toma, good luck with that. I was traveling through his area recently and tried to hook up with Toma for some coffee and while he stated he was open to it, when push came to shove he left me hangin'.
> _subtoi_- you've been very prolific as of late, at least on this thread, and I enjoy reading your stuff.  I particularly enjoyed reading about your experiences on the job.  Your references to death via OD and even suicide have me concerned, however.
> _crimson_- last time I was on here, you were shipping off to rehab in Florida, accompanied by your parents if I recall correctly.  How'd that go?
> Finally, did _Mr Scags_ avoid jail time?  I've been to Rikers Island and to other NYC Dept of Corrections facilities, both wearing a blue uniform as well as being on the other side of the bars, and in both cases, my time there SUCKED!


Good to see you back tony! Yeah my mom flew down with me to make sure I didn't pull a runner lol. The detox I went to was really nice! I told them I was addicted to Xanax so I got a nice Valium taper to go along with the suboxone taper which was cool. The place had a slushy machine and an ice cream machine so I ate like a mofo. They also had a pool table, Xbox and some fine ladies. So the first 8 days in Florida was sweet! 
Shit got real when I left detox for the 30 day program though. I had an absolutely brutal kick from the suboxone which I knew was coming but still wasn't really prepared for. The doctor at the rehab was a cunt and only gave me Advil and a shitty muscle relaxer twice a day. After about 5 days of not sleeping I was ready to cut somebody. Needless to say I wasn't very a popular among the patients or staff. That is probably the closest I have ever come to haveing a true mental breakdown. It was really rough. I also wasn't really impressed with the quality of the counseling I received but that's a whole other topic. Long story short I did my 30 days and left still dope sick. Came home and was at my dealers house within 2 hours. Got high and felt a hell of a lot better. Ended up strung out and got back on suboxone a month later. 

But the rehab served its purpose because my lawyer got my charges dropped last week so I am a free man! Overall I wouldn't want to ever do that again! Kicking sub is no joke it was the closest to hell I have ever come. By the second week i had pretty much decided that I never want to sober ever again. I still feel the same way.


----------



## jeebis

good going, crimson. glad your shit got dropped.

and i havent slept in 2 days. i have just been doing tons of dope. i met some new people (unrelated to dope) and have quickly become essentially best friends with 2 of the guys...only to find out 1 of them loves heroin as much as i do and the other grows mushrooms. right on.

cool new friend with a car = a constant ride for shit. so we've been splitting grams of raw. cost goes right down the middle, and he drives, so i roll up the travel joints. lol. its been killer lately


----------



## subotai

obviously the key to quitting heroin: ice cream machines

also 

*Correction*

Mr Scag is out of jail


----------



## tomatalli

I'm not trying to dick size I'm just posting what I bought. I'm ashamed I spend my entire pay check on drugs every week I'm not proud of it at all


----------



## tomatalli

Old hippy I still get a medical cab ride to my clinic 6 days a week.  I didn't mean to leave u hanging I just rarely check my email and can't anymore bc my smart phone is broken and I have a crap flip phone if we were texting I would've deff done it


----------



## tomatalli

crimsonjunk said:


> Good to see you back tony! Yeah my mom flew down with me to make sure I didn't pull a runner lol. The detox I went to was really nice! I told them I was addicted to Xanax so I got a nice Valium taper to go along with the suboxone taper which was cool. The place had a slushy machine and an ice cream machine so I ate like a mofo. They also had a pool table, Xbox and some fine ladies. So the first 8 days in Florida was sweet!
> Shit got real when I left detox for the 30 day program though. I had an absolutely brutal kick from the suboxone which I knew was coming but still wasn't really prepared for. The doctor at the rehab was a cunt and only gave me Advil and a shitty muscle relaxer twice a day. After about 5 days of not sleeping I was ready to cut somebody. Needless to say I wasn't very a popular among the patients or staff. That is probably the closest I have ever come to haveing a true mental breakdown. It was really rough. I also wasn't really impressed with the quality of the counseling I received but that's a whole other topic. Long story short I did my 30 days and left still dope sick. Came home and was at my dealers house within 2 hours. Got high and felt a hell of a lot better. Ended up strung out and got back on suboxone a month later.
> 
> But the rehab served its purpose because my lawyer got my charges dropped last week so I am a free man! Overall I wouldn't want to ever do that again! Kicking sub is no joke it was the closest to hell I have ever come. By the second week i had pretty much decided that I never want to sober ever again. I still feel the same way.


They wouldn't let u get subs at the rehab that sucks! The rehab I was at took u to the clinic every day


----------



## cj

tomatalli said:


> They wouldn't let u get subs at the rehab that sucks! The rehab I was at took u to the clinic every day


The rehab didn't offer medical detox so I went to a specialized detox place for 8 days before I went to the 30 day program. The detox gave me a 7 day sub and Valium taper. I was kicking a 5 year 2mg a day bupe maintenance habit so the sub detox was pointless. They basically just kept me comfortable while they extracted my insurances money. So I didn't even get sick until 4 days into the 30 day rehab program. The rehab had a doctor that came three times a week. But she was pretty useless. At one point she told me that maybe I would remember how bad I felt so I wouldn't wanna use again. Sadistic bitch.


----------



## lilczey

so tha kid is in the ATL and clean from opiates...

my first day here i hit 2 hospitals trying to score.. secound one was a success  16 T3s blah..

but now im in full withdraw did dope until a hour before we drove down.. as yu all kno i dont iv anymore..

idk if it was the 6 and than 5 the next day of T3s but i feel okay.. not great but okay... i have had a few beers no weed and i have been eating and all.. applying for jobs.. went to a interview high on T3s but other than that im okay..

maybe its not knowing where i can get opiates or whatever im not sure, knowing i cant get shit anywhere cuz i dont know anyone helps i guess..


----------



## chinky

damn youre down here now too? permanent since youre looking for a job?

wish you would have brought some dope with you down here would have been nice...

but what made you come down eher and who did you cme down here with..where you staying at? im in the NE called Snellville..like 20-25 miles out


----------



## Bill

I was in Atlanta most of last winter getting clean
Wasn't too bad since I tapered with sub correctly for only a week

Also being about an hour outside of atl and not knowing anyone made it pretty easy in the trigger dept
I knew places where I could go cop but it's crazy in the bluff

Lotta meth down there too, I was offered some for the first time in my life but I didn't feel like being up for 3 days atm lol


----------



## lilczey

chinky said:


> damn youre down here now too? permanent since youre looking for a job?
> 
> wish you would have brought some dope with you down here would have been nice...
> 
> but what made you come down eher and who did you cme down here with..where you staying at? im in the NE called Snellville..like 20-25 miles out


Hahahaha Gtfo here dude I'm in Lawrenceville right next door hahaha

Im here wit my daughter and baby's momma and my car lol and that's it


----------



## lilczey

Bill said:


> I was in Atlanta most of last winter getting clean
> Wasn't too bad since I tapered with sub correctly for only a week
> 
> Also being about an hour outside of atl and not knowing anyone made it pretty easy in the trigger dept
> I knew places where I could go cop but it's crazy in the bluff
> 
> Lotta meth down there too, I was offered some for the first time in my life but I didn't feel like being up for 3 days atm lol


Yeah im not going to the bluffs.. I've heard crazy story's from out there.. And I'm goody on the Meth.. I wud rather have some weed but again I only kno a small amount of people and they aren't answering the phone..


----------



## oldhippytony

tomatalli said:


> I still get a medical cab ride to my clinic 6 days a week.... I'm ashamed I spend my entire pay check on drugs every week I'm not proud of it at all


 Many of us have been where you are at, spending our last dime, and sometimes other peoples money, on drugs. I certainly can relate to the feelings of shame and degradation associated with being broke all of the time because of a dope habit. With that said, it sounds like a possible way out comes to your door 6 days a week. If you work it right, if you are ready for it, methadone and a structured program could really turn your life around. Not many people are lucky enough to get door to door service to a methadone clinic.  With that said, I was given numerous opportunities to clean up but walked away from each offer and only began to consider a change when I was beat down bad ... alone ... broke ... sick ... and had no other alternative but to take advantage of an inpatient program that was offered to me or live on the street.  I was living in Manhattan at the time and literally went from Broadway to the Bowery (long story). Don't get me wrong, I didn't _want_ to get clean, but I didn't want to feel like shit anymore either.  I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I figured I'd give myself 28 days in the rehab, courtesy of the taxpayers of the State of NY, and by then I'd figure out some new hustle and get rolling again.  Didn't happen that way though.


----------



## jeebis

im so glad my friend that i've gotten extremely close to in the past week (we met over him working at a pizza place and recognizing my bunk police hat. i slipped him my number yadda yadda yadda). like, we're actually good friends before the drugs now. but now we've been splitting drugs and all that fun stuff since i have more weed than i know what to do with now that it's harvest season. 

hell, i was hurting today since we've been splitting bundles the past 3 days, so he gave me a .5g of molly for free for me to trade for 5.5 k56 10mg oxys. that's a real friend lol. his pay back for giving him a half g of k for dirt cheap and 5 newports yesterday lol.


----------



## subotai

I just snorted a bag of dope in the bathroom at work and all of my withdrawal symptoms are gone. just like that

im never gonna quit this shit man, I might have to get on Suboxone for a week or two even though I swore I would never pay money for that shit. Id rather just taper down with dope and actually get high but I cant control myself. 

it felt so good... I think Im gonna do another one!

at least ill be able to sleep tonight. 

ehhhhhhhh....... im a fucking junky man. I dont even have a defense anymore. Yeah, I go to work 5 out of 7 days a week and dont rob or steal from anyone, but im a fucking junky.

ill throw up some url links to pics when I get home, its been a good month as far as quality goes. too good...


----------



## cj

subotai said:


> I just snorted a bag of dope in the bathroom at work and all of my withdrawal symptoms are gone. just like that
> 
> im never gonna quit this shit man, I might have to get on Suboxone for a week or two even though I swore I would never pay money for that shit. Id rather just taper down with dope and actually get high but I cant control myself.
> 
> it felt so good... I think Im gonna do another one!
> 
> at least ill be able to sleep tonight.
> 
> ehhhhhhhh....... im a fucking junky man. I dont even have a defense anymore. Yeah, I go to work 5 out of 7 days a week and dont rob or steal from anyone, but im a fucking junky.
> 
> ill throw up some url links to pics when I get home, its been a good month as far as quality goes. too good...



Suboxone can be affordable of you keep your dose at around 1-2mg I go to the sub doctor once a year. It costs around 350 all said and done. But that's not a bad deal for 60 strips that will keep me well for a whole year. The biggest bonus is that I can still use heroin whenever I want since the dose is so low.


----------



## subotai

I just want something that will help me get through those first couple days considering I usually have to go to work sick at some point and its a real drag. If Im at a slow store its not too bad but im not in no mood to go above and beyond, whereas if Im at work on adderall I cant stand not going all out

ive only gotten 4 different stamps in recent memory and the red ones were a result of the one block being shut down by police when I was there. had to go a whole 3 blocks over what am I WALKING A 5K HERE WTF

and really, Sonic and Arizona is the same dope they just do different stamps to throw off police I guess? or they just ran out of white bags probably. I don't think the stamp is as important to dealers as it is to users, hence some of them just being blank.

I dont have a pic of the Puma bags but they were the same thing as Sonic really. white bags with a crudely formed Puma logo on them

http://tinypic.com/r/2dr5od2/8
http://tinypic.com/r/24g6lqg/8
http://tinypic.com/r/2zqa6ux/8


----------



## lilczey

pubic hair all up in last pic


----------



## jeebis

i caught that too, czey

and im taking a minor break from heroin. a friend of mine has a couple hundred 30mg instant release morphine and 60mg extended release morphine for dirt cheap. morphine + hash oil + real NY pizza is literally what god does in his free time.


----------



## subotai

lol thats actually facial hair.'or its pubes idc whatever is funnier. 

im about to commit seppuku figuratively tomorrow. just going to give my debit card to my mom and have her change my online bank password. Then when I get paid every other Friday she's just going to move the money into her account for a while because I would just walk into the bank and do a withdrawal at the teller saying I forgot my card

but im also getting some kind of benzo script tomorrow no matter what. both my mom and my grandfather had anxiety problems and I just need to chill out man. 

Im also getting a bunch of x rays done on my legs, Ive had scoliosis since I was little and my hip got fucked up with Perthes diseases when I was 8. My body always feels weird because my bones kind of grew at different speeds and now my right leg is shorter than my left

and the doctors are always asking if im in pain but I dont know what constitutes as "pain". I mean, I do feel sore after work, but who the. fuck doesnt you know?

and quitting heroin would probably alleviate some of these issues I have but it's all I really enjoy anymore. I dont really smoke weed much anymore and I havent taken amphetamines in a bit. I had to have my heart operated on as an infant, amps are really the last drug I should be taking


----------



## Tommyboy

subotai said:


> I just snorted a bag of dope in the bathroom at work and all of my withdrawal symptoms are gone. just like that
> 
> im never gonna quit this shit man, I might have to get on Suboxone for a week or two even though I swore I would never pay money for that shit. Id rather just taper down with dope and actually get high but I cant control myself.
> 
> it felt so good... I think Im gonna do another one!
> 
> at least ill be able to sleep tonight.
> 
> ehhhhhhhh....... im a fucking junky man. I dont even have a defense anymore. Yeah, I go to work 5 out of 7 days a week and dont rob or steal from anyone, but im a fucking junky.
> 
> ill throw up some url links to pics when I get home, its been a good month as far as quality goes. too good...



Subs can definitely help you and I feel like they are a great value considering how long they can keep you well when taken properly at the right time.  I remember a while back this kid was saying that he would never spend money on suboxone yet he was paying a dollar a mg for roxi so I explained to him that he could either buy on roxi and be well for like 12 hours, or buy 1 suboxone for half the price and stay well all week from that.  It's when you have a high tolerance that the subs begin to lose their appeal, but even then if you give it a few days it's worth it.

A lot of addicts are just maintaining half the time anyway since it costs too much to get enough of their DOC each day of the week to stay high, so rather than maintaining most of the time on their DOC they are better off doing it with a low dose of suboxone and then actually getting high once a week. Any more than that and the subs won't work that well and begin to work even less the more times you switch back and forth between them and your DOC.


----------



## jeebis

i need my trustworthy old school heads in here to give me advice on what to do this weekend.

right now im piss broke, surviving on cheap beer, left over cannabis, and klonopin that i traded some cannabis for. HOWEVER, i am getting a massive paycheck this weekend (it's literally twice my normal check due to a nice raise and more hours, not including 16 hours of time and a half overtime + a previous sick day i was never paid for) so i have 2 options. 

i can go buy like 150 30mg ir and like 50 60mg er morphine (the shitty time release where if you crush them you're good to go), an eye dropper, and go back to plugging (which i havent done since the last time i had morphine or dilaudid) since i dont like needles, have done it before,l and have 0 issues with putting things my ass (possibly the gayest thing ever said by a heterosexual man). 

or i can take the megabus down to nyc for 15 dollars round trip and get a brick of some fire, come back to my city, and buy like 15mg of a mix of xanax and klonopin. 

keep in mind that my tolerance for a solid evening of  nodding is roughly 300-375mg morphine oral, 200ish mg morphine anal, 5-7 bags nasal/3-4 plugged of this particular dope. and i mean drooling on myself, barely remember it the next day, still itchy the next morning type of night...also....more marijuana, some hash oil, and beer is already factored into both situations.

im super conflicted, but id almost rather take the bus to my morphine guy, eat like 10 of the ir bitches off the bat, buy a tallboy, and walk a block to my second favorite pizza place (but favorite place for slices) to nod out and get drunk/high/full of pizza......but if i go to nyc i get tohang out with friends i rarely get to see. 

fuck.

and honestly, sometimes i prefer morphine to dope in the right dosage. its much more of a nodding aspect, wheras i get alot of energy from heroin. either way im getting something this weekend.


----------



## Bill

^ I'd buy heroin mang


----------



## subotai

eye droppers dont work for plugging in my experience since the action to shoot the shit out also sucks stuff back in when you release presssjre

oral syringe or bust imo. unless this is some kind of advanced dropping mechanism


----------



## cj

Jeebis- I would do whatever is safer and easier.


----------



## subotai

best hockey play by play moment: when the guy just goes

shot... 

and the triple dot takes like half a second and its just

shot... SCORRRRREEE

I see how people get hooked on the needle, but I still prefer the convenience of snorting. if im in a pinch though, Ill fuck with IV. there's literally a plethora of medical supplies under my sink for this shit already (you want to tell me something DAD?) the hardest thing to find is something to mix the water into. Landed on an A1 steak sauce cap today. and I dont even like A1 lol


----------



## jeebis

sub, the key to eye droppers is that you just take it with it still "squeezed". ive always used an eye dropper. also the best thing to mix in that i've noticed is the top of an arizona tea bottle. the 1 dollar bottles, not cans. nice big caps, but shallow and usable, its cheap, and the mango bottles are fucking delicious. it's routine when getting morphine, dope, and weed (since those dealers are all near a stewart's/sunoco) to stop and get an arizona. my friends will shoot using the caps, and i sell them loosies 10 minutes after they shoot up because theyre friends, but only close friends get free cigs when it's 10 something a pack.

and this might be the 250mg of morphine and 1.5mg kpin i just ate talking, but fuck it. im just going to buy up all the morphine and stay local this weekend. he only has 83 30mg ir, 92 60mg er, and 15 10mg er. i'm thinking of buying them all, a quarter o of some killer bud, an 8th of some hash oil, a couple 6 packs of some nice craft beer, pack of marlb 27's, and telling the world to piss off this weekend.

especially since ive decided that im going to see Moe. in my city on new years eve (theyre literally playing like 2 miles from house. deffinately drunken stumbling distance), and that costs about what i'd spend going to/from nyc and dicking around. 

plus i can always go to nyc. nyc will never run out of heroin. my guy will run out of morphine though.....but on the other hand.....heroin > morphine. by far

fuck it, i'll make my own dope!


----------



## subotai

seems like that would add another step and thing to keep track of to an already obnoxious process. I just like the oral syringes because you know for sure whether stuff is coming or going up the bum and I feel like the dropper thingies could, in theory, literally suck the liquid right back out of your asshole which just cant happen with an oral syring short of someone playing the most fucked up practical joke of all time on you.

ugh, that's where my head is at right now. wondering what would happen if you drew up an oral syringe with it up your ass. 

probably something resembling the latest Tyler Perry movie


----------



## Tommyboy

Jeebis, I'm surprised that you still mess with pharmies this much when you still have access to dope. I had switched back to pharmies since I wasn't using as much so my tolerance was way down and I wanted to be safer, so I would probably want to do one or the other.


----------



## jeebis

sub: if it went to "suck back up", it would inevitably suck onto the wall of your anus until you pulled it out. that sentence made me cringe so fucking much, lol. thats why im always concious of it.

and tommy, i have access to dope, but its such a pain in the dick. this morphine guy is very easy to go through. all in all it's all just another opiate...


----------



## lilczey

I have never put anything in my ass and probably never Will..

I jus couldn't man.. 

Lol I can stick needles in my arms and other people's necks

But good god never stick anything in my ass lol..

In Other news I caught up with the walking dead.. And now we are back to lost.. 

I really think that they forgot about some of the crazy shit they put from episode to episode..


----------



## jeebis

ive plugged tons of shit. i get bored when i get alot of drugs, lol. i mean, not to be weird or anything...just saying. 

substances worth it: morphine, hydromorphone, amphetamine, methylphenidate, mdma, 4-aco-dmt, cocaine...essentially anything that is water soluble. there are drugs that will work when plugged but arent worth the effort, like heroin. but then drugs like hydromorphone, morphine, and amphetamines that have noticably stronger and altered effects.

dilaudid doesnt get done any way but up the bum for me. then again, fuck needles. unless someone else will hit me. then i just turn my head lol


----------



## lilczey

jeebis said:


> ive plugged tons of shit. i get bored when i get alot of drugs, lol. i mean, not to be weird or anything...just saying.
> 
> substances worth it: morphine, hydromorphone, amphetamine, methylphenidate, mdma, 4-aco-dmt, cocaine...essentially anything that is water soluble. there are drugs that will work when plugged but arent worth the effort, like heroin. but then drugs like hydromorphone, morphine, and amphetamines that have noticably stronger and altered effects.
> 
> dilaudid doesnt get done any way but up the bum for me. then again, fuck needles. unless someone else will hit me. then i just turn my head lol


I've shot dilaudid 100s of times myself I use to be prescribed it when I first had my surgery coupled with oxy 40s for break thru..  I would shoot the dilaudid while waiting for the oxy to hit me pass out and wake up and repeat.. 

I got dillies again after my IV days were done I sniffed them..  Which didn't work that we'll sort I wud have to sniff like 4 to 5 which actually gave me some great affects..

But definitely wasn't the same


----------



## jeebis

last night was my friend's 30th birthday, so inevitably i pissed through most of the morphine i got and a bundle of dope i split with my friend. also bought 5 hits of acid off of a 60 yr old GDF dude. saving those for a special occasion.

but since i woke up hungover as fuck, i ate 200mg of morphine, traded the rest for 60mg of oxy that im currently sniffing, and just bought an ounce of some lemon skunk. happy saturday lol.


----------



## Erikmen

Morphine does not work for me. It´s getting difficult to manage pain these days. Methadone kills everything else..


----------



## jeebis

morphine is only effective to me in very large quantities, sadly, even though i rather enjoy the unique high of morphine. the only reason im eating so many the past week or so is because my guy has a very large (but finite) quantity and is giving them to me for ABSURDLY low prices. thats the only reason im using it is because i can get away with eating 10 of the 30mg irs at a time.

but on the bright side, i think i just found a solid dope connect about 2 miles from my house....

edit: on the brighter side, i totally dropped a roxi 30 underneath my bed and when i reached under to get it to promptly put up my nose i found an unopened pack of starburst. good shit.


----------



## lilczey

jeebis said:


> morphine is only effective to me in very large quantities, sadly, even though i rather enjoy the unique high of morphine. the only reason im eating so many the past week or so is because my guy has a very large (but finite) quantity and is giving them to me for ABSURDLY low prices. thats the only reason im using it is because i can get away with eating 10 of the 30mg irs at a time.
> 
> but on the bright side, i think i just found a solid dope connect about 2 miles from my house....
> 
> edit: on the brighter side, i totally dropped a roxi 30 underneath my bed and when i reached under to get it to promptly put up my nose i found an unopened pack of starburst. good shit.


I think Ive stated this before Buttttt.....

I want your life..


----------



## jeebis

no you dont. trust me, you dont. i just get good enough drugs to cope. 

but now im out of raw papers. no more j's because im not walking in the rain just for papers . guess im breaking out my 12 inch long gandalph...

edit: fuck, now im out of beer and its still raining. ughhhh. now what do i do?


----------



## lilczey

Bored in the ATL is becoming my life.. 

I guess its better than being dope sick and bored in the NJ lol


----------



## Tommyboy

Erikmen said:


> Morphine does not work for me. It´s getting difficult to manage pain these days. Methadone kills everything else..



I don't get much euphoria from morphine but it works great for pain for me. I also like it's long duration when taken orally, so if I ever needed a pain medication that would be it since I wouldn't want to abuse it and it would cover my pain for a while.


----------



## porkchops

I remember great anticipation toward receiving morphine in the hospital and it never really did much for me, maybe the dose just wasn't going to touch my habit.


----------



## jeebis

trust me, the dose they give you wont touch anything if you have or had a habbit.

and i found a new dope connect. really good dope, super cheap, but the bags arent very large. luckily its so cheap that the quantity in the bags isnt much of an issue. just bought/sniffed 5 bags and am smoking some amazing lemon diesel, so i'm happy.

the only issue is that is in like the ghetto of the ghetto of my city. his building is right behind a police station. There's a high likelihood that id get pulled over just for being white in the area


----------



## porkchops

Yeh, but that propofol...God damn shit was legit.


----------



## Bill

^ Milk of amnesia


----------



## chinky

haven't done dope in 11 months


----------



## xstayfadedx

My chest is in so much pain right now.  I was chilling in my room listening to music... when my sister calls me and asks me what to do because my brother did heroin and isn't waking up (she doesn't do drugs like that).  She said she tried shaking him, ect and he wouldn't wake up.  Luckily I still heard noises from him in the background, but wasn't sure if he was choking.  She then hung up and I'm panicking because nobody is answering their phones.  I call my grandparents house (where there at) and my grandma hangs up on me because I'm crazy and my sister is not at their house (well she was and my grandma is just blind....).  So then I get a call back a bit after.... my sis had to call 911 and preform cpr on my brother.  His eyes were all rolled into the back of his head and his lips were blue.  His gf who called my sister sat there dumbfounded and almost didnt even call my sister down there to save my brother... when my sister did cpr my brother's girlfriend hid in the basement all scared.  So well the cops came and my grandma is now aware of what is going on... and the ambulance took my brother.

OMG I AM FREAKING OUT STILL.  I hate being in pa and my family is in ct... my sister must have been so scared.  And it sucked because I couldn't do anything.  Oh god my chest hurts.... but at least everyone knows now because nobody ever believed me about my brother.  

Sorry for the wall of text but holy shit that was intense

This all happened within this past hour

My brother did this last November to me and threw up all over my legs when he fell out... and then my friend had to do cpr on him and luckily he woke up, but this time he didn't.  My sis said he sucked in her breath of air but would immediately stop breathing.

This reassures me of why I quit.  I didnt even plan to quit this time.  I just did.


----------



## cj

^^^Damn I hope he ends up being ok! As long as he wasn't down without air for too long the narcan will make him good as new. Try not to be too hard on his GF everyone reacts differently in crazy situations.


----------



## xstayfadedx

crimsonjunk said:


> ^^^Damn I hope he ends up being ok! As long as he wasn't down without air for too long the narcan will make him good as new. Try not to be too hard on his GF everyone reacts differently in crazy situations.



I just got a call from the hospital and my brother is conscious now.  I am so happy my sister got down there in time.  My brother's girlfriend called my sister and when my sister showed up.... my brother's girlfriend claimed my brother was okay and just sleeping.  My sis went into the room and saw my brother, and was like "THIS IS NOT OKAY.  HE'S NOT OKAY."  It's scary that my brother would have died just like our mutual friend did in december because nobody really did shit.  So I am so grateful my sister was there to save him.

I just felt so helpless because I am all the way down here....  I totally had a panic attack too... and the worst thing of all my brother is all like he's fine and it's no big deal.  And claiming he didn't know it was dope (all lies).  It's so sad when I had to save his ass and my 19 year old sister had to save my almost 30 year old brother.


----------



## jeebis

damn, im really sorry to hear that man. just a shitty situation all the way around.

and honestly, thats literally the most cliche line that gets used. "i didnt know it was dope/i thought it was coke/it was laced weed/it was in my molly and/or pill (which pisses me off because THIS ISN'T A FUCKING THING. it's like the dealer passing off a damn ferrari as a honda and benefiting some how when you die in a car crash)". i've only really overdosed twice (that i can remember. i suspect theres more though)....once was at a music festival while i was running a vendor booth (k and heroin. don't do it kids.) and once while i was on my front porch.

 my brother found me. i had done a fuckload of dope (easily a couple bundles of some FIRE), went outside to smoke a spliff, and apparently (no recollection of that outside of going outside for the spliff) my brother came outside and saw me where i was blue in the lips/weed spilled everywhere/cig burned through my shorts/completely assed out. the excuse i came up with was "i thought it was coke".

my brother then proceeded to remind me all of the times he had gotten oxys/hydros/methadone/suboxone from me, called me on my bullshit, but never told my parents which was cool. i asked him why and he said that it was because he knew that id find my own way, my parents knowing would have only made everything worse, which he knew wouldnt do dick for me except make everyones lives a million times worse. since then ive seriously gotten my shit together (in comparison), but im one of those types that are way too intelligent for their own good. reality is too boring, weed was my first love, and heroin/heavy opiates have become my adult version of cannabis....except cannabis is still cannabis to me.


----------



## chefman

God damn scarey,thank god his girl called,shit man thats good somebody took action.


----------



## lilczey

xstayfadedx said:


> I just got a call from the hospital and my brother is conscious now.  I am so happy my sister got down there in time.  My brother's girlfriend called my sister and when my sister showed up.... my brother's girlfriend claimed my brother was okay and just sleeping.  My sis went into the room and saw my brother, and was like "THIS IS NOT OKAY.  HE'S NOT OKAY."  It's scary that my brother would have died just like our mutual friend did in december because nobody really did shit.  So I am so grateful my sister was there to save him.
> 
> I just felt so helpless because I am all the way down here....  I totally had a panic attack too... and the worst thing of all my brother is all like he's fine and it's no big deal.  And claiming he didn't know it was dope (all lies).  It's so sad when I had to save his ass and my 19 year old sister had to save my almost 30 year old brother.


Stay strong yo


----------



## subotai

ive been half concious all day and this chick I should have fucked back in high school came into the store today and it was one of those we both kinda knew who each other were but didnt say anything deal and it was just like ehhhhh. she looked pretty good too

its like I get high and dont even think about it anymore. wtf are you supposed to do when heroin gets old?

more heroin of course, but I have to get a new vehicle by January 16th so all my money is going to that. 

well, that's the plan at least. Kind of short term really.

Any time I make extra money I just spend it on dope though so its a process here

ehh


----------



## subotai

im just sick of this job period. all it does is remind me of how my personal tastes have been made taboo by society

once I get a car and old job back, ill at least be able to get dope a lot easier. I dont know what else Id do with myself

I already know how its gonna play out too, I was fucking set at that place man. I was the best employee they had and I wasnt even that into it

fuck retail, Id rather be able to answer to myself than some bitchy customer

and all these bullshit attitudes anymore, fuckin posers man

"up for whatever bro"
"live free man, just be yourself"

bud light and shit targeting my demographic, why cant Warren Sapp turn my living room into a man cave because they saw me copping dope?

im up for whatever. im being myself. and it would land me in jail. 

seems legit. thanks bud light


----------



## tommyo5485

Its gets worse too....your whole life will be dope....just dope. It sux...


----------



## jeebis

try working construction. in my specific trade, it's a rarity to see someone as young as myself...so im surrounded by really old dudes who smoke shitty weed and reminisce about the coke of the 70s and 80s. i have to do a shitload of opiates and smoke a ton of actual quality weed just to cope with being around them lol. but like tommyo said, very quickly your life becomes about the coping mechanism as opposed to the thing that's causing you to seek said coping mechanism. when it goes from trying to fix your problem to spending your resources on heroin and becoming complacent within your shitty disposition...well...that's when you have a real problem.....

.....which is why a "jeebis combo" is something the heads in this thread are familiar with. after enough years of working a shitty job to just get by, everything sucks and i then do a shitload of drugs to cope. 

on a side note, new-old weed connect (my weed/dope guy that fell of the face of the earth and got knocked with a ton of shit this summer. now i have his partner's connect [he sold the narcotics while his friend/neighbor sold the weed.] again), new coke connect, and FINALLY i have found an oldschool dope dealer. cheap ass buns, half buns for half the price of a bun, always on point, and the bags are pretty damn good. just sucks that i have to go to the ghetto, past the police station, past the projects, right next to the dmv. idk about your city, but every city ive been to puts their DMV in the WORST areas of the city by far. kinda like their martin luther king jr. blvd.....although the "mlk blvd theory" doesn't apply to denver. they actually have a nice one.


----------



## lilczey

jeebis said:


> try working construction. in my specific trade, it's a rarity to see someone as young as myself...so im surrounded by really old dudes who smoke shitty weed and reminisce about the coke of the 70s and 80s. i have to do a shitload of opiates and smoke a ton of actual quality weed just to cope with being around them lol. but like tommyo said, very quickly your life becomes about the coping mechanism as opposed to the thing that's causing you to seek said coping mechanism. when it goes from trying to fix your problem to spending your resources on heroin and becoming complacent within your shitty disposition...well...that's when you have a real problem.....
> 
> .....which is why a "jeebis combo" is something the heads in this thread are familiar with. after enough years of working a shitty job to just get by, everything sucks and i then do a shitload of drugs to cope.
> 
> on a side note, new-old weed connect (my weed/dope guy that fell of the face of the earth and got knocked with a ton of shit this summer. now i have his partner's connect [he sold the narcotics while his friend/neighbor sold the weed.] again), new coke connect, and FINALLY i have found an oldschool dope dealer. cheap ass buns, half buns for half the price of a bun, always on point, and the bags are pretty damn good. just sucks that i have to go to the ghetto, past the police station, past the projects, right next to the dmv. idk about your city, but every city ive been to puts their DMV in the WORST areas of the city by far. kinda like their martin luther king jr. blvd.....although the "mlk blvd theory" doesn't apply to denver. they actually have a nice one.


Lol@mlk comment.. Camden is the same way


----------



## lilczey

Sorry for double post. 

I talked to junkiedays on fb today

He's starting a new path in life..

Mad happy for him


----------



## Felonious Monk

lilczey said:


> Lol@mlk comment.. Camden is the same way



I think that was a Chris Rock routine.  Definitely remember some comedian ragging on mlk blvd, cause the one in bmore is bad, splits east and west if I remember correctly.


----------



## jeebis

you're right felonious. i dont remember if it was chris rock but after i heard a comedian, as you said, say it i realized how true it really is


----------



## Jabberwocky

lilczey said:


> Sorry for double post.
> 
> I talked to junkiedays on fb today
> 
> He's starting a new path in life..
> 
> Mad happy for him


junkiedays? from jerz? am I thinking the right person? started a new path? whats up w/ him, man? if we are thinking the same person I hope all is well for the dude. he's a good kid and last I remember he was going into rehab and just got out and was being positive.


----------



## subotai

having a conversation with myself this morning and without even thinking about it this goes through my head

"you cant start smoking cigs again that's gonna cut into your dope money"

havent smoked a cig in two weeks, priorities man


----------



## chefman

What up Boston,I love the east coast,mom is from Manchester,n dad is from Suncook H.h.


----------



## chefman

What up Boston,I love the east coast,mom is from Manchester,n dad is from Suncook N.H ,havent heard from ya how u doin


----------



## Jabberwocky

all good in the hood, man. I am 10 mins right outside Boston; where you living now?


----------



## chefman

40 min north of Chicago.


----------



## lilczey

I kno its not dope related but I'm from south Jersey bellmawr 10mins outside Camden and I jus moved here to Lawrenceville GA outside of Atlanta..

I have smoked kush and Dabbs since I've been here and last night I scored some fire ass Molly..

So it really jus goes to show its who yu kno more than anything else when it comes to the south..


----------



## jeebis

^nice. that reminds me of how fucking weird this weekend is going to get. tomorrow immediately after work im going to go get 2 bundles of some FIRE, a half gram of some DMT, and 2 grams of hash oil (some skywalker og shatter).


----------



## tommyo5485

Its all perception my friends......but one thing I know is that dope sux n ne tru dopefiegn will agree with me. See there is being totally clean meaning clean from everything and then there is being clean as in clean from dope. Bc in my eyes and I'm sure many others are as well, being dope clean is in a diff category in its own.


----------



## lilczey

tommyo5485 said:


> Its all perception my friends......but one thing I know is that dope sux n ne tru dopefiegn will agree with me. See there is being totally clean meaning clean from everything and then there is being clean as in clean from dope. Bc in my eyes and I'm sure many others are as well, being dope clean is in a diff category in its own.


Word I'm clean from heroin/ opiates..

So I consider myself clean  

Nuttin wrong wit a lil Molly and sum kush/ dabbs..

O I also have recently discovered my love for Kratom from the headshop down the street


----------



## Jabberwocky

I agree.. when I am clean I am just clean from dope, not clean from drugs. ha. dope is all that matters because dope is what ruined my life, so I try to stay clean from what ruined my life, not just drugs  did for "fun".


----------



## lilczey

BostonBrownTown said:


> I agree.. when I am clean I am just clean from dope, not clean from drugs. ha. dope is all that matters because dope is what ruined my life, so I try to stay clean from what ruined my life, not just drugs  did for "fun".


Right bro.. I can go without doing all other drugs besides weed everyday....

Shit I'm still sitting on that molly haven't touched it since I got it.. Plan on doing it this weekend.. 

But opiates I gotta do every day once I start up.. 

My 2 loves

Weed

Heroin/ oxycodone.. 

But atleast with weed yur not going to suffer without it or feel the need to blow every dollar on it..


----------



## Jabberwocky

I barely smoke weed; one thing, that was a PROBLEM before, is something I do, but only get 10/mo tops, and I use .5MG to help me sleep, and that is xanax. was never a make me feel good type drug, but just a drug that I would take w/ my dope or to knock me the fuck up during withdrawals. caused me many seizures as time went on, but as of now all is good and havent had a problem w/ them in many, many years. 

weed I love.. always will! but yet I have a harder time getting weed nowadays then I do any hard drugs. well, I lied, since my sis sells it, but I currently dont have a car due to a DUI (alcohol - blew .09 and they hit me w/ a DUI - fucking pissed) and my sis lives about a half hour away, so its not easy to grab anything (weed). 

all other drugs, besides adderall here and there, are something I dont even touch at this point. the only reason I use addy is becuase my sleep schedule sucks, which is why I use xanax, but when I dont take xanax I sometimes need addy just to make it through the work day, ya know!?


----------



## porkchops

When I'm clean, I'm clean clean. When its time to get high, its time to get high high_._​


----------



## jeebis

sadly, when im dope clean that just means im in between pick ups. it's really sad, actually, although ive been very conscious of not putting myself in withdrawal. and if i say im completely clean off everything then, well, im just fucking lieing.

but lastnight got weird. my mushroom connect/my best friends roommate came back from mexico this weekend. i tried to get shrooms and he told me he bought 60 hits of L instead of picking up more shrooms...and then he told me to come over. somehow, one thing lead to another, and i ended up eating 5 hits of great L and sniffing 8.5 roxi 30's (new connect that has them for a reasonable price). im hurting today. its bad enough i pissed through all my weed, but i just had to walk in the rain to go get a couple grams of some skywalker og shatter and a 6 pack. ughhh


----------



## boabbymac

Whats happening guys? Scottish heroin user here! Really like the NASADD general heroin discussion so thought I would popp over and say whats up? 
Was reading on of jeebis posts he mentioned a night with xanax, high grade green, decent no3 afghan heroin and a nice pack of beer. Ive currently consumed 6mg xanax, 3.2g of heroin IV, gram of green smoked in RAW rolling papers and consumed 3 desperado tequila 6.9 % beer, 3 can of strong polish lager okocim 7.8%. Safe to same im fairly buzzed and nodding hard haha! Just thought I would share it with you guys. So awryy troops, whats happeing with you cats?
:edit: just smoked a .4 rock of crack dont normally partake in white but it was offered free for a lift from leith (where trainspotting was based) to 5 mins up the road. Guys usual gear supplier so was gpod to chill with him fpr a bit as ive only recently met amd dealt with the cat. Any of you transatlatic cats should feel free to fote over hit my pm up and il give you a guided tour lol


----------



## jeebis

boabbymac said:


> Whats happening guys? Scottish heroin user here! Really like the NASADD general heroin discussion so thought I would popp over and say whats up?
> Was reading on of jeebis posts he mentioned a night with xanax, high grade green, decent no3 afghan heroin and a nice pack of beer. Ive currently consumed 6mg xanax, 3.2g of heroin IV, gram of green smoked in RAW rolling papers and consumed 3 desperado tequila 6.9 % beer, 3 can of strong polish lager okocim 7.8%. Safe to same im fairly buzzed and nodding hard haha! Just thought I would share it with you guys. So awryy troops, whats happeing with you cats?



it was actually no4 heroin. thats we get here in the northeast US. no3 is a different animal. and good looks on the raw papers, best papers you can buy imo. 

and nothing really. waiting on people to pay me back (best friend borrowed money. he has it but hes at work for another hour) so i can go get a bundle and some chipotle. it was a toss up between five guys and chipotle...but chipotle sells alcohol.....

ive always wanted to go to the UK. namely ireland, but i could get down with a few scottish heads. your whiskey is superb, so you're a culture after my own heart. although im half irish, half german so we can clearly see where my whiskey allegiance lies (it's bourbon, to be exact, lol)


----------



## lilczey

jeebis said:


> it was actually no4 heroin. thats we get here in the northeast US. no3 is a different animal. and good looks on the raw papers, best papers you can buy imo.
> 
> and nothing really. waiting on people to pay me back (best friend borrowed money. he has it but hes at work for another hour) so i can go get a bundle and some chipotle. it was a toss up between five guys and chipotle...but chipotle sells alcohol.....
> 
> ive always wanted to go to the UK. namely ireland, but i could get down with a few scottish heads. your whiskey is superb, so you're a culture after my own heart. although im half irish, half german so we can clearly see where my whiskey allegiance lies (it's bourbon, to be exact, lol)


5 guys sounds good


----------



## Jabberwocky

jeebis said:


> it was actually no4 heroin. thats we get here in the northeast US. no3 is a different animal. and good looks on the raw papers, best papers you can buy imo.
> 
> and nothing really. waiting on people to pay me back (best friend borrowed money. he has it but hes at work for another hour) so i can go get a bundle and some chipotle. it was a toss up between five guys and chipotle...but chipotle sells alcohol.....
> 
> ive always wanted to go to the UK. namely ireland, but i could get down with a few scottish heads. your whiskey is superb, so you're a culture after my own heart. although im half irish, half german so we can clearly see where my whiskey allegiance lies (it's bourbon, to be exact, lol)



where in the northeast you at? I live in Boston and they just opened a 5 guys around here; I've been there a few times but I didnt love the place so I hardly go. chipolte is across the highway from 5 guys and is much better; fucking love that place, man. pretty sure the one I know doesnt sell alcohol, tho? or do they all and I just never knew? I am not an alcohol drinker so even if they did I would never get a beer w/ my burrito. there is another Mexican place right near chipolte and its qdoba, which is NOT as good as chipolte but they have way more tacos, burritos and different type of food to order.


----------



## lilczey

BostonBrownTown said:


> where in the northeast you at? I live in Boston and they just opened a 5 guys around here; I've been there a few times but I didnt love the place so I hardly go. chipolte is across the highway from 5 guys and is much better; fucking love that place, man. pretty sure the one I know doesnt sell alcohol, tho? or do they all and I just never knew? I am not an alcohol drinker so even if they did I would never get a beer w/ my burrito. there is another Mexican place right near chipolte and its qdoba, which is NOT as good as chipolte but they have way more tacos, burritos and different type of food to order.


They all sell beer.. 

I wanted 5 guys last night while on a nice Kratom nodd and my wife tells me we aren't sure if our 1 y/o Kendra has a penut allergy or not so we can't go there...  so it was waffle house instead..

But I still crave 5 guys right now..


----------



## Jabberwocky

^^ they all sell beer, huh? wow, maybe I just never noticed because I am not a drinker at all so even if I saw a beer it would not phase me. now if they sold drugs, well, then I would be much happier and probably be there right now, ha. 

a kratom nod, huh? man, that makes me jealous as hell. 

one day, man.. one day I will be able to take kratom and FEEL IT! still coming down on methadone and at 48MG now; gotta be OFF by Dec 15th and then going "away" for a month, so ill be clean for about a month, so maybe Kratom will actually work for me someday. 

how do you take your Kratom? how many G's? 

but man, you saying Kratom NOD makes me jealous as fuck. lol


----------



## lilczey

I take 20 to 10 of these and I'm flying.. I took it the last 3 days inna row and kinda craving it right now and the headshop is 5mins away from my house but I must abstain for a day or 2 or maybe till next weekend..

Lol I took that molly friday night stayed up till 7:00 lol


----------



## Jabberwocky

what are those things? never heard/saw them in my life; you take 10 or 20? or between 10 and 20? wasnt sure what you just said. what does it feel like? molly? must be nice a head shop 2 mins away has them, lol. thats whats good about camden.


----------



## lilczey

BostonBrownTown said:


> what are those things? never heard/saw them in my life; you take 10 or 20? or between 10 and 20? wasnt sure what you just said. what does it feel like? molly? must be nice a head shop 2 mins away has them, lol. thats whats good about camden.


Ok so actually I jus moved to Atlanta about a month ago.. 

I pick those up at the local headshop it's the experience brand Kratom, the type is called the pimp, it's a extract I'm almost positive, in capsules..

When I said I took Molly I really took Molly on Friday night


----------



## Jabberwocky

nice. I would rather have that than the kratom I have; although, I only used it twice but it never worked cuz I was using dope pretty hardcore first time I used it and then I was on a high MG of methadone the 2nd time, so it was pointless. 

I had my kratom since June and dont plan to touch it again till Jan/Feb - does it go bad? any idea? 

first time I tried it shit did NOTHING! 2nd time I tried it I threw up just based on taste. 

what do those things even cost? how much is 1 bag? what do u spend when you buy so many? can we talk price of kratom on here? lol


----------



## lilczey

BostonBrownTown said:


> nice. I would rather have that than the kratom I have; although, I only used it twice but it never worked cuz I was using dope pretty hardcore first time I used it and then I was on a high MG of methadone the 2nd time, so it was pointless.
> 
> I had my kratom since June and dont plan to touch it again till Jan/Feb - does it go bad? any idea?
> 
> first time I tried it shit did NOTHING! 2nd time I tried it I threw up just based on taste.
> 
> what do those things even cost? how much is 1 bag? what do u spend when you buy so many? can we talk price of kratom on here? lol


Lol I dont see why not as its legal.. With my discount card I pay I think $28 bucks for 30 caps and like I said I can take 20 and be like roxi 30 fucked up or take 10 and be like a perc 10 or so.. 

But I'm clean sooooooo ya digg.. 

And yes Kratom goes bad and looses potentcy pretty quickly

I have no idea how much Kratom is in each capsule but they are huge


----------



## Jabberwocky

yea, I cant touch Kratom for a while then; I am still on way too much done' and last time I did any roxi's I did 8 of em, so I got a ways to go before I can throw down Kratom and get a roxi type feeling, ya know!? I am excited for when that day comes.. or is that a bad thing!? man, I just want to get the fuck off dope/done' and MOVE ON w/ LIFE! between dope and done they had me by the balls FOREVER and a day now; but here I am saying I want to try Kratom when I am "clean", so maybe I am already talking bad, who knows. 

dude, youre paying $28 bucks for that anyway, you can get the other thing you mentioned for that price, lol. well, maybe a few dollars more nowadays but I hear yah, always stick w/ the legal shit. 

was on 95MG methadone about a month ago, maybe little more, and down to 48MG and still feel fine; I am just waiting for the day where I feel miserable as fuck and want to blow my head off; hopefully that day never comes and I am able to make it through all this BS w/o any problems.


----------



## jeebis

chipotle has good margaritas. and the ones around here are staffed by all college kids so they dgaf if i whip out my vape pen and some dabs if im sitting in the corner with the girlfriend. im in upstate ny. we have a few chipotles, five guys, and just got a smash burger, burgerfi, and jimmy johns. i prefer this spot in my city thats so good and does good ass chicken nuggets by the pound for under 10 dollars. drug users wet dream. especially when i have to walk past them to go to my roxi guy's house and they deliver in like 20 min.

ive done my time with kratom. good while it lasted, but my tolerance got huge with that + the headshop that had it around here stopped carrying it. i ended up getting coke and morphine off that shop's owner while they were still open (because i would give him test kits to sell in the shop and i'd share my weed lol), so he would give me some killer UEI for cheap. now the other place around here with it is selling maeng da for like 80 dollars a package...and you can suck my dick for that. id rather get real drugs with money left over.


----------



## Jabberwocky

haha, yea, for $80 you def. get the real stuff, fuck spending that and buying "legal" shit at the shop. man, for that price you can get some gooooooooooooooooood shit!


----------



## jeebis

that price is anything from a full bun to a half and change depending on the quality i want/how deep in the ghetto i want to go....or i can get a couple roxis, a six pack, and have change. and any of those options are far better than going for kratom


----------



## lilczey

Copped a lil Atlanta dope.. 

I kno I was staying away from opiates but  the chance came up and it was easy to get

It's mad different then the stamps I'm use to in Jersey.. Pretty good tho


----------



## jeebis

looks good. different than what im used to for raw. normally i see dark brown rocks the consistency of good fishscale (except not oily), light tan rock hard chunks, or tiny little rock solid tan rocks. its kind of odd, especially when i'm used to bags of milled powder that clumps up...which i dont understand how milled powder can be just as good as supposed raw. 

on a tangential note, im still kicking my self for never procuring all the chemicals to convert morphine to heroin when i had the supply of morphine 30 irs.


----------



## subotai

the last time I went to get dope I went the usual route and there was a tree planting party or something going on for this lady who got run over along with her two daughters when they were selling fruit at a corner. some guy carjacked a vehicle and crashed it, killed the lady and the daughters. shits fucked up. never seen so many minorities cleaning up a spot though, probably the largest congregation of brooms ever in that neighborhood.

its not even a neighborhood really, Germantown and Allegheny thats not sourcing right? I mean its not like you buy drugs there, there's not a whole lot of anything there. just that long ass stretch of industrial shibe and that weird storage place. I bet there's mad drugs in there, idk could just be a random thought

then you go underneath the railroad bridge that always leaks even when its nice outside and its like alright brah game face roof roof

meh


----------



## Jabberwocky

lilczey said:


> Copped a lil Atlanta dope..
> 
> I kno I was staying away from opiates but  the chance came up and it was easy to get
> 
> It's mad different then the stamps I'm use to in Jersey.. Pretty good tho


what is different than what you usually see? its hard to see what the bill behind it but just looks like 2 brown/whiteish rocks, no? depending on where you score, from who, etc, its all I see around here. sometimes I get DARK ASS BROWN powder or rock, then ill get white powder/rock, then I get the middle ground, which is a light brown power/rock. no difference in all, all depends on the person really, sometimes super strong, sometimes just EH - mostly w/ the light brown. the white usually hits hard - esp. when you draw it up w/ the PIN and NOTHING is left on that spoon, man. just pull back ONCE and EVERYTHING on that spoon is GONE!


----------



## Jabberwocky

yea, that looks normal based on what I see here in Boston; why are you guys saying its weird?


----------



## lilczey

BostonBrownTown said:


> what is different than what you usually see? its hard to see what the bill behind it but just looks like 2 brown/whiteish rocks, no? depending on where you score, from who, etc, its all I see around here. sometimes I get DARK ASS BROWN powder or rock, then ill get white powder/rock, then I get the middle ground, which is a light brown power/rock. no difference in all, all depends on the person really, sometimes super strong, sometimes just EH - mostly w/ the light brown. the white usually hits hard - esp. when you draw it up w/ the PIN and NOTHING is left on that spoon, man. just pull back ONCE and EVERYTHING on that spoon is GONE!









Hope this is a better picture.. I jus copped this yesterday in tha bluffs, it's funny there was people yelling at the car like I was bac in camden wit the open air market


Plus I have always gotten either white or tan/brown powder/ECP.. 

They do it by weight down here which I don't kno much about either because up north stamps don't have some standard weight and its not one giant rock of dope lol.. 

Everyday shit in the first picture was kinda damp I guess or moist it was hard to crush to sniff like it had some give to it when yu tried to crush it with a lighter or quarter


----------



## jeebis

id take a picture of what i just copped, but fuck it. im lazy. 

went half hour south of my city to the middle of nowhere farm land. grabbed a "bun of raw" (really weird term he used). he handed me 1 unstamped bag that weighed out to .8gs. its all powder, no rocks, and is damn fucking good. stopped on the way home to grab a quarter o of some Grape Stomper, a gram of skywalker og shatter, a 12 pack of some Saranac Octoberfest, and a buffalo chicken pizza from the killer 'za place a mile away. 

hows everyone's friday night going so far?


----------



## jeebis

just to point out how high quality the raw i got is, i still have some left over from yesterday and it's 2:30 in the afternoon.....i've had enough to do little lines all day....and still have enough to continue for a few hours. 

that never happens. normally i sniff a bundle in 4 hours lol

edit: ugh, i really reallyreally want to go get some oxys or some bags today after spending the past two days nodding my dick off, but i know i shouldnt because a) i'd deff feel it tomorrow morning at work and b) the only money i have left is the remainder of my weed money. i only have an 8th of nug left which theres no way i'll make it until pay day with that. i can either be happy now with some opiates, or happy later (for a longer period of time) with weed/hash oil. boo.


----------



## Pharcyde

czey that looks kinda like the stuff going around here. its kinda soft and so so and its whiter


----------



## jeebis

NEW WARNING FOR ALL OF MY EAST COAST JUNKIES: THE SCOURGE OF FAKE OXYS HAS NOW GOTTEN WORSE

I, your trustworthy pal Jeebis, received 2 fake a 215 roxis that were FENTANYL. how do i know this? the press was terribly done, color was off, didnt taste like oxycodone, and we all know i've done my fair share of fent and the like.....and 1 30 felt like i sniffed 4 30's. deadass. 

it used to be "watchout for the fake m boxes, you'll lose your money". now its "watchout for the fake a's, you'll lose your life"

i caught my friend about shoot one and i freaked on him, lol. but just a warning.

although not gonna lie, 2 of the fent roxis, a handle of fireball, and a bunch of the skywalker og shatter made going to see Lettue and Exmag at some bar worth it....especially when i won free tix.


----------



## Jabberwocky

no wonder everyone I know became a dope fiend; the source for the roxi has become untrustworthy, lol. yea, thats a good excuse as to why everyone is a dope fiend now, right? lol .. yea, ill just stick to that.


----------



## chefman

Im sure your right Boston,that is a perfectly acceptable reason why their are so many junkies!!!


----------



## Pharcyde

who buys oxys anymore?


----------



## jeebis

i do sometimes, lol

HAPPY HERO-WEEN, MY JUNKY FRIENDS!

 noone wanted to go out to the bars with me tonight except my gay friend who really wanted me to go with his boyfriend and him to a gay club around here. now, i have NO issue with gay people/gay bars are actually pretty cool....but his boyfriend is annoying as fuck and very "anti-drug"

so i grabbed an 8th of some Cheesel (cheese x sour diesel) shatter because i cant find any actual weed without paying out the ass, a bundle of some fire, a handle of fireball (fuck your antifreeze bullshit), and some chicken nuggets. fuck yea


----------



## Jabberwocky

happy hero-ween, thats a good one. 

I didnt even do any heroin today  I guess thats a good thing tho, right? esp. since I feel it does ZERO for me; its just not the same and will never be the same.


----------



## Felonious Monk

lilczey, that stuff looks really fucking good.  the powder/rock mixture that jeebis describes sounds like the stuff I got in bmore/md a few times, and that nice big rock too.

I've found a few people who post pictures of their dope life on IG lately and it's incredible.. The drug war is such a failure, prices always falling and quality always up...

oxy just doesn't do it for me, definitely gonna pick up next time I go back east. I got no interest in tar either


----------



## jeebis

oxys only worthwhile if i have a ton of it or i get it cheap.

but i shouldnt really talk since one of my junky friends needed money and sold me 4 suboxone for super cheap, so i took one and am just chilling with some weed and beer...


----------



## chefman

never got high on oxys,man my guy has fire lately,n 15 for the jab price.


----------



## jeebis

no prices, chef ^ (although im not sure how specific that is considering we dont use your fancy "jab" term 'round 'dese parts). id say edit before a mod-attack, but if theyhavent swarmed yet then they probably wont...

and good/bad news for your boy Jeebis, guys. So my morphine guy (i will refer to him as 1) hmu and was being super vague/sketchy (keep in mind i havent spoken to him in like a month) and told me to bring a joint over so we could talk. i complied and when i walk in he hands me 3 bags and tells me "sniff just a stamp to try on me. if you like them ill sell you the other couple for cheap" and it was AMAZING. Best shit i've ever had in NY (locally here upstate, the stuff ive had from out west, and anything i've ever gotten from NYC)

so then we start talking and he breaks out his meth pipe with his boyfriend (whom I will call 2) and we all start smoking some...and one thing leads to another and 1 tells me how this guy (i'll call 3) 1/2 fuck sometimes (they're swingers and into the whole group thing. good for them) always gets meth off 1 and offered 1 this amazing heroin to sell for him (3). However, 1 doesnt want to sell dope (he doesnt do it and im the only one he knows who does), so he offered me his pricing + a 20 dollar fee to get me the best raw i have ever seen (no exaggeration. dead ass. everyone who has every tried it agrees) by the gram once a week for my use, since if i didnt go through him, i'd need to buy a quarter ounce at a time just to deal with 3 directly. 

Getting amazing dope for the same price as an 8th of weed would be a good thing for most of us here, but my guy also sells meth. really really really good meth. and the only person i personally know with meth in my state/the northeast US (since it's rare up here and confined to shake/bake in the trailerparks in the super rural areas and in the hardcore gay scenes in the larger cities).....and frankly....i kinda really like smoking meth. sniffing/eating is no different than doing the same with a handful of adderall (except sniffing. then its adderall + glass), but smoking is like all the parts i liked about crack with the shittyness of adderall (which is far better than the shittyness of crack/coke).

20 dollars says ill end up paying the same i normally do now, except i'd end up with more heroin and some meth on top of it. 

i can already see this going downhill....especially since i cant find decent coke that isnt fucking outrageous (if it has multiple zeros, it's too much for this hero)


----------



## chinky

whats drugs my dealers?

its been a minute


----------



## jeebis

'tis what it is. Hbu, my homeslice?

i didnt feel like walking miles to go get dope because its raining, and my dude for cheap raw wont be around till tomorrow, so im posting this from the bus while im omw to go get another one of those fent roxis i was talking about.


----------



## chinky

Man just layin low smokin some weed


----------



## jeebis

right on, i hear that. 

im stuck with a quarter of some shit that smells like sunshine and unicorn farts, looks better than porn, and tastes like licorice. dunno genetics. dont care. and grabbed the last 12 pack of Shipyard Pumpkinhead my local store will have until next season. but no fucking opiates! arghhh

my guy for the cheap raw i was supposed to get 2 gs from hasnt hit me back yet, my friend whom i usually get shit with hasnt responded since like 10 am, my other friend doesnt have a car/i dont own a car so i cant go see him (it's 10:30 at night and im not making the hour and a half trek on public transportation/paying for a cab/dropping a ton of money for uber/lyft/my friends suck and i dont have a ride), one dude just got robbed for like 1200 dollars, my other raw connect  is going on a date with his boyfriend and isnt around tonight, and my roxi (both real and fentanyl)/dope friend is in staten island till sunday.

i literally only have 1 emergency sub left, and because im not in pphysical withdrawl/i have other intoxicants im not going to touch it, for now, but it still sucks

edit: my one dope guy just said that he was in my city but was all out of dope ( "you're like 20 minutes too late, bro") but had some supposedly awesome L, and last time was some seriously strong acid, so i bought 15 hits off of him for cheap since he shorted me by like two grams on a couple ounces of weed a while back lol.


----------



## chinky

Fuck anything that makes me trip..im done hallucinatng

But i think imma get back tryin to get some dope..its been almost a year of no dope..some oxy ajd hydro but my toerance is way to high and pills are exensive 

Trust though its no by choice ive been clean..just turned out like that


----------



## Effect

Yeah I've never really tripped in my life cause the whole idea has just never appealed to me and I figured if smoking bud can make me really paranoid sometimes, I can't imagine what a psychedelic experience would be like.

Did about a 1/4 g of dope a couple hours ago, took a small dose of amp and I'm bout to smoke a small j and eat and watch TV till I pass the fuck out.

And jeebis does the dude with the fake oxys even know what he's selling to people?


----------



## jeebis

effect: yes, the guy with the fake roxis follows the same "full disclosure" policy i use with rc's (telling you what they really are instead of trying to pass them off as something else). especially when he sells both real v 48 12's and the fent a 215's. infact, he charges 5 dollars more for the fent blues, but tbh, 1 fent blue > 1 real oxy.....plus he doesnt like to sell the fent ones when he has them to anyone who will resell them/doesnt have a huge tolerance. 

and i fucking love LSD. i've eaten ALOT over the years for both introspective/enlightening experiences and purely for the fuck of it. its the first non-weed drug i had ever done, and it prevented me from comitting suicide shortly after (long story). I will always owe my teenage years, and my being alive today, to Lucy. dead ass. and its amazing for concerts. for jam band shows/raves i prefer small-moderate doses of L to mdma (unless its an epic quantity of mdma, but i havent found clean enough shit where i'd eat a g over 2 hours and not be paranoid of what i just consumed). the only 3 psychadelics that i really use are LSD, n,n-dmt , and 4-aco-dmt. 4-aco (or "ay-co" as i call it) is still my favorite non-weed-or-opiate i've ever used. i also dont really like mushrooms too much even though im surrounded by them almost constantly. just not a fungus guy (although aco is more or less improved psilocin, soooo...).

although, to date, the greatest combination i have enjoyed (and like to enjoy when i can get all the right elements) i call a PoppyFlip. 4-5 hits of highquality LSD, half gram mdma (or 4-5 clean e pills...although ive only had clean e pills 3 times in NY) spread over 2 hours, bundle of heroin from the peak to the comedown, and copious amounts of weed. although its deffinately not for everyone....it will put you in a very unique head space and ive only done it in the presence of someone with a pocketful of emergency xanax and narcan. 

then again, as we all know, i have a tendency to do stupid and unusually dangerous combinations...and that is a VERY stupid combination...so i don't exactly recommend a poppyflip unless you can handle much more of the individual substances you are using and ALWAYS follow the mathematical law of potentiation (1+1 NEVER equals 2 when it comes to drugs. 1+1=10)...but even then it's unneccessary. you'll be fine with a candyflip (lsd + mdma) on its own or heroin on its own.....or just dont do heroin. 

yea, just dont do drugs, kids. except weed. only lame nerds dont smoke, you nerd.


----------



## LSDiesel

Amen jeebis. 

LSD is the shit. If you're in the right frame of mind, you can make it feel like ANY drug ime.


----------



## jeebis

LSDiesel said:


> Amen jeebis.
> 
> LSD is the shit. If you're in the right frame of mind, you can make it feel like ANY drug ime.



seriously. it is the deffinitive "set and setting" drug. it can be your best friend or your worst enemy. it can be super physical, or super mental. there have been times where all i've wanted to do was lay on the couch, not move, and live in my mind or times where i didnt give a single fuck in the world and just wanted to dance. after the 30 or 40th trip i started to have a really bad comedown (always a migraine and horrible insomnia, but this also coincided with a slew of other neurological issues at the same time [i have a neurological disorder that effects my nerve endings with auxillary issues like the migraines and shit]) so now i wont trip without a handfull of benzos or opiates  for after

and once again, noone is answering their phone. what the fuck? i have money and noone will take it from me. goddamn it.


----------



## chinky

ive had plenty of shrooms and we whre getting garbage bags full from iowa and the last batch we got was some super strong shit and you only needed like a gram to trip when people where used to taken eights and more and I that was like the last bad trip I could take it was just too strong and kept putting me into a bad place and I felt like the trip lasted forever cause I had weird deja vu for a while after..

and then I tripped balls taking a roll one time and it was just something I wasn't prepared for and tweaked myself out cause I had stopped taking shrooms and the trip was just not expected on my part, cause I didn't want to trip anymore and that was it..i said no more

I attempted to take acid twice and both times it was fake or didn't work o whatever and after that I just took it as a sign that I wasn't meant to take it


----------



## jeebis

i got fake acid once. my friend got fucked (he sold me a 10strip before testing it himself) and replaced it with mdma for me when i told him. this was also in 2009. lol.


----------



## chinky

fuck stims too

downers is where its at

bud, opiates,benzos

the trinity


----------



## jeebis

i agree. but it doesnt hurt to have some trippyness thrown in. the classic trio of LSD, Mushrooms, N,N-DMT still needs to be respected at all times.

in fact, my friend is begging for me to get some of these chocolate mushroom frogs from me, so he's buying me one if i get them for him. this could be interesting. plus he has a xanax script im going to buy from him. 

i think next time i get a shitload of dope (atleast a bundle or a gram) im going to eat the frog with it (each frog contains ~3-3.5 gs of mushrooms)


----------



## chinky

youre crazy man, youre crazy


----------



## jeebis

no, im bored and both havent done shrooms in years and love heroin. and i lied, im actually getting 2 frogs and buying 1mg of xanax and 2mg of klonopin off him. if i can get my hands on a bun tonight or tomorrow, shit will get interesting real quick. 

but i mean, who the fuck takes the time to make mushroom chocolates that look like frogs? let alone frogs that contain like an 8th of shrooms. my friends are pretty interesting.


----------



## chinky

it prolly takes no time 

they have frog molds


----------



## jeebis

chinky said:


> it prolly takes no time
> 
> they have frog molds



well yea. clearly. but i mean theres a ton of them available. like, dozens and dozens. thats also a shitload of mushrooms considering they're all about an 8th. 

ill try to take pictures of 'em when i grab them in a couple hours. i mean, honestly, i'll pay what i pay for the sheer novelty of them. luckily theyre potent as a motherfucker and pretty damn cheap.


----------



## chinky

just give me the dope..


----------



## jeebis

yea, but the frogs are _free_ and we both know that that's the best kind of anything. plus my guys roommate is my friend i get dope with so im gonna hope hes home.


----------



## chinky

just won 20bucks on a 2doller scratch ticket..nice


----------



## jeebis

right on, man. go you.

edit: so i go to go get the 4 frogs, i show up, and he only has 3. he's super apologetic and all that jazz so he gives me a hit of acid (not the futurama ones i bought before off someone else, this is some unperf'd WoW), a gram of some purple dream, 1mg of xanax, and 2mg of klonopin instead of the 4th frog. 

this turned out to oddly end in my favor.


----------



## chefman

It seems like things always end up in your faver.


----------



## chinky

Right


----------



## jeebis

i get lucky with drugs becuse every other aspect of my life blows, i think. so my drug dealers become good friends, and we dont like to fuck eachother over. especially when my weed/L/mushroom guy is my best friend's roommate. but he gave me the option of waiting until wednesday for the next batch of frogs to come in and get one for free, or get the monetary equivalent in other drugs. and y'all know me, and the more substances the merrier. 

although after last night i literally have half a mg of klonopin left. i might rip into that sub, but the psyche's im holding on to until this girl and i go see dumb and dumber2 (were gonna split the frog and the tab for that lol), and weed is water. actually, no. if i dont pay my weed bill i can still get weed, same with most other drugs actually.

why the fuck are my drug dealers more lenient to debts than the goddamn utilities department of my city? am i the only one who finds that fucked up?

"oh youre out of dope and youre really sick, here, ill front you more shit to get you by" versus "oh you have no job but enjoy having the basic neccessity of life that is water? you do? well fuck you, heres a fine for being to poor to pay your bill, and dont use any public water sources because we'll arrest your ass for theft of public utilities"

drug dealers > my city government. although im in NY. so drug dealers kinda run the city government...


----------



## chinky

Watchin the philly drugs inc right now


----------



## jeebis

i dont remember that episode

but yay! guess im getting a ball of raw on friday night...


----------



## chinky

^^This fuckin guy


----------



## chinky

They got a new one on tonite about snitches..

I wanna see what they catch people with and then flip them..watch it be some weed


----------



## jeebis

probably. and boo. my vape pen shit the bed awhile ago so ive been borrowing my girlfriend's pen (since im her oil connect and shes been finishing up college an hour away and can only get weed out there). but now she wants her pen beack because her friends want to try oil. boo.

so im sucking down the last of the shatter i have and trying to trade my mushroom frog for some dope lol.


----------



## chinky

Need to try bho..ive only made iso


----------



## jeebis

i dont even get wax, really. my "low quality" is some awesome shatter. if given the chance, go for translucent amber shatter or honeycomb.

oh god. honeycomb wax. 3333. 

but i need to meet new women. my current relationship is nothing more than a friendship where i rarely get my penis touched and tend to get my feelings hurt, my ex whom im still in love with still wont remotely talk to me about being with me despite she saying she loves me, and every other girl i know is through drugs (and im not really trying to pickup a junkie or a cokewhore. been there, done that).

a trippy, hippy girl who smokes weed. 'tis all i need. i'd even give heroin up (or, realistically, try my damndest and fail miserably). 

i mean, im a nice guy. genuine. intelligent. educated. my only downfall is drugs, really. 

well drugs and a basement full of missing women......



.....and a really macabre sense of humor. (there's two types of people in the world. those that sorta smiled at that and those that cringe)


----------



## LSDiesel

jeebis, c'mon

isn't dope your girlfriend?

i know she's mine


----------



## laughingdead

chinky said:


> Watchin the philly drugs inc right now



They only focused on Kensington which I was relieved about because when it came out supposedly Kensington got hotter while other places just sort of managed to stay the same as always. Apparently the city may have felt embarassed.

But I find that it's so true that the Philly dealers love their PCP. I wonder if all the other shows were as accurate as some people are saying the Philly one is...

They focus on major cities.... what would it be like if they did a Trenton drugs inc or a Camden Drugs inc? 

Boring, more of the same? Or better?


----------



## jeebis

LSDiesel said:


> jeebis, c'mon
> 
> isn't dope your girlfriend?
> 
> i know she's mine



yes but you cant you stick your dick in a bag of dope.

i lied.

you can totally put your dick in some dope, it would just be a terrible waste. 

and this weekend should be odd. the girl im in love with who's my best friend and i are splitting the mushroom frog and some of the acid i have and go see dumb and dumber 2, then she sends me a text saying "im staying over this weekend". 

im also supposed to get a bunch of raw this weekend and she would kill me if she ever knew (since she used to be a heroin addict and all that jazz). this is going to be one hell of a juggling feat.


----------



## chinky

gary indiana love their sticks too for somereason


----------



## jeebis

^ what?

and i just picked up some more psychadelics (3 more hits of L, and i guess you could say i "preordered" 3 of the mushroom frogs for when he reups tmrw), an 8th of some purple dream, and a 60 mg morphine. 

god i cant wait to get some heroin this weekend.


----------



## chinky

Pcp..


----------



## jeebis

you know, this dude who i work with is CONSTANTLY asking me for pcp. 

that's literally the one substance i have neither encountered nor even had the chance to encounter.


----------



## chinky

The same..ive never seen meth either


----------



## Effect

Some dude I've been middling dope to lately tells me he can get meth and I'm intrigued for some reason. Never seen it either.


----------



## chinky

speed just doesn't intrest me at all..i like sleep


----------



## chefman

I with Chinko,speed sux.


----------



## jeebis

stay the fuck away from meth. i've smoked, eaten, and sniffed it.

its so not worth it. the comedown and side effects for days arent worth it, no matter how much dope you have.

speaking of that, im just sitting here. Blasting some Oliver Heldens, smoking some purple dream and sour diesel, and sniffing my way through a .8 of raw.

yummy yummy yummy got dope dripping down from nose to tummy.


----------



## Erikmen

chinky said:


> speed just doesn't intrest me at all..i like sleep



I think the mix does not allow the opiate to come out properly.
Besides, you can re shoot it again and again, like it happens a lot when you do coke (together with h)


----------



## laughingdead

jeebis said:


> you know, this dude who i work with is CONSTANTLY asking me for pcp.
> 
> that's literally the one substance i have neither encountered nor even had the chance to encounter.



I smoked it once on weed when I was like 13 or 14. Two friends and I were snowed in to his big house for the weekend and we had the stuff so we waited until his parents went to bed, smoked it, and went into the basement room which his sister had decorated with aluminum foil giving it a perfect silver appearance. It sounds ugly buy it looked awesome. Anyways... I tripped so hard...The room became the ocean and I had to get on top of my friend as if he were a piece of drift wood to keep from drowning. I looked in the mirror and I saw myself as an old lady. My friend kept staring at me and started to point saying I was a pig. He started crying telling me to get away from him. We woke up the next day unsure of how we had all fallen asleep. Last time I was exposed to PCP was going to pick up my d.

He smoked a "sherm stick" pcp laced newport in my car. It has such a strong chemical smell. He wanted me to join in but that shit freaks me out so I had a drag only. I've heard that pcp can be unevenly dosed kind of like lsd. You think you're doing a little but it turns out all the shit was in one part of the joint or paper or whatever. I'm so totally ignorant of the subject honestly...


----------



## jeebis

^that sounds like pcp to me lol. 

but the amount of people who tell me that they've smoked pcp laced weed is a direct correlation to the amount of people who freak out and tell me my weed is laced with something.

no, motherfucker. if your weed was laced it would cost another 20 dollars. now go back to '96 with your mexibrick shit weed.


----------



## Bill

jeebis said:


> stay the fuck away from meth. i've smoked, eaten, and sniffed it.
> 
> its so not worth it. the comedown and side effects for days arent worth it, no matter how much dope you have.



Really? 
I've never seen meth either but I'd think with enough quality heroin you could have comfortable sufficient landing gear for pretty much any kind of stim come down


----------



## jeebis

Bill said:


> Really?
> I've never seen meth either but I'd think with enough quality heroin you could have comfortable sufficient landing gear for pretty much any kind of stim come down



you would think that. with enough dope, yea, sure, the physical side effects may be overcome. but the psychological effects are hell. it's a far worse version of every mdma comedown ive ever had, and ive rolled my balls off many a time. the psychological impact of meth use is astounding. really. and i have never been a heavy user of meth by any means

if you try to overpower the psychological shittyness that comes with meth with heroin use, i will GUARANTEE you that you'll either a) overdose or b) run out of money before you manage to kill yourself, ultimately leaving yourself in the same situation you were in but with even less money.  fortunately, the latter happened to me. 

the fucked up thing is that meth isn't even that good. like, it's sort of a shitty high, but due to it's actions in the brain its addicting as a motherfucker. it's an insidious substance. hell, i hate that shit and yet i will still smoke it when im around people doing it, and i literally only know 2 people who use it. As im typing this the idea of trying to find that shit has deffinately crossed my mind. i'm seriously forced to roll a j of some sour and start searching for dope today because i cant even start with searching for meth. 

people talk about opiates being the "devil's drug." fuck that. atleast theres a caliber of pleasure and sanity that comes with hopping into a gram of dope nose-first. for fuck's sake, when a junky tells you that something is a bad idea, it's probably a REALLY bad idea.


----------



## self8medicated

LSDiesel said:


> jeebis, c'mon
> 
> isn't dope your girlfriend?
> 
> i know she's mine



LOL....isnt it that truth!  She is an expensive girl!


----------



## jeebis

self8medicated said:


> LOL....isnt it that truth!  She is an expensive girl!



pricey indeed. 

and i wanted dope today but had no transportation, so i got my friend who just moved to new jersey  to give me her old connect who said he would pick me up (im on the way to his connects place) and drop me off for 10 dollars. i got a bundle, and my god.

some of the best dope i've seen. a little pricey but he said that the price will go down every time i hit him up. bags are pretty damn far roo


----------



## Mzral

I know where to find ice in Boston but my priorities lie with dope. The few times I've done it I have enjoyed it but it's nothing I'd make a priority to cop. Dope covers all the bases.


----------



## jeebis

well i just had a falling out with the love of my life + i have a horrendous migraine/cant stop throwing up because of it so i sniffed the remaining bags, scraped the empty bags i had, and have been chainsmoking some sour d and drinking gallons of hot chamomile tea.

ugh. heroin isn't just a great thing for physical  pain.....it does wonders on emotional and psychological pain, too.


----------



## Effect

Mzral said:


> I know where to find ice in Boston but my priorities lie with dope. The few times I've done it I have enjoyed it but it's nothing I'd make a priority to cop. Dope covers all the bases.



What's going on bud? When did you start copping again and where you been staying at?


----------



## LSDiesel

jeebis said:


> well i just had a falling out with the love of my life + i have a horrendous migraine/cant stop throwing up because of it so i sniffed the remaining bags, scraped the empty bags i had, and have been chainsmoking some sour d and drinking gallons of hot chamomile tea.
> 
> ugh. heroin isn't just a great thing for physical  pain.....it does wonders on emotional and psychological pain, too.



Aint that the truth, until all those pains come back tenfold, nice my 500th post


----------



## jeebis

LSDiesel said:


> Aint that the truth, until all those pains come back tenfold, nice my 500th post




congrats. and you're so right about that.

luckily this new connect ive been gong through recently has been getting this PHENOMINAL h. exceptional quality and above average size bags. he was mad sketched out about me at first because the person who referred me is, ill admit, rather sketchy, but apparently the price is even going to start going down which is nice.

he also doesnt mind picking me up/dropping me off if i throw him some money or a bag....or once he passes is next drug test at work he said he would take weed for a ride....which we all know I ALWAYS have. 

but i mean, hell. im nodding off of 3.5 bags that i've sniffed over the past 3 hours. that's an accomplishment right there.


----------



## jeebis

damn yall have been quiet. 

*grabs defibrilator paddles* CLEAR!!!!!!!

but yes. ive been living the high life the past few days. i havent had dope this good in ages. then today hits and what do i have? 20 dollars, 2 hits of acid, a gram of some cherry pie headband, and a gram of some hellraiser og shatter.

couldn't make quick money at all sadly and just gave up trying. settled for 120mgs of time release morphine that i could get my hands on  i didnt want to iv it (cuz its me) or plug it because i didnt have any necessary materials besides a turkey baster (and that would be weird seeing my parents use it for thanksgiving after going up my ass, lol.). BUT I HAVE FOUND A FOOLPROOF WAY to make the ABG morphines into instant release, very quick, if you want to eat them. 

crush up all the morphine you want to use, dump into a shotglass with IODIZED (very important) table salt and hot water. mix the mixture around until you can be sure its not gonna gel up, then take as a shot and chase it down with very acidic soda. or alcohol. ideally alcohol.


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

i havent done heroin in 4.5 months
i remember before i got booked, i was getting some ridiculous bags though
that and bugatti bags, bugattis were straight fent.


----------



## jeebis

^never heard about the bugattis before. where were you located at?

and this is the first big snow storm of the year, so i had to trek out in this shit to pickup. grabbed some brooklyn brewery variety packs, killer bud, klonopin, hellraiser og shatter, a bundle of some FIRE, and some mushrooms just in case, lol.

hows everyonoe else holding up with the storm?


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

PA, but i wouldnt be surprised if they originated in jersey cause they were the doublewides.
that was months ago.
by straight fent, i dont mean like droppin 30 motherfuckers, but i remember when i had them, sitting outside on a full moon, bangin up 3 of em and having the most insane rush i've ever had off the diesel and then stumbling around like i was drunk for 2 hours


----------



## chinky

wish I had some..

just been smoking and taking a bar every now and then


----------



## subotai

jeebis said:


> damn yall have been quiet.
> 
> *grabs defibrilator paddles* CLEAR!!!!!!!
> 
> .



dude there's like 17 heroin threads I dont even know where to post anymore tbh

Ive heard about that salt water method for the morphine pills, ive only ever seen the 15s though and id have to crush like 4 of em just to get a buzz

bobby darrin... tuhmarrah 

im getting _out_ of work at 10:30am tomorrow like such a weird shift. plenty of time to go get some dope though. 9am-4pm really is the sweet spot IME

I can see my veins a lot better today. another thing to be thankful for


----------



## subotai

well fuck my life

get all the way down there and cops have the whole block shut down, literally was a ghost town. had to go to a different area and wound up getting bags regardless but they aren't really as good as what I usually get. 

so Im kind of stewing over that. I knew something was up because the way I go you can see the street from a fair distance away and there was NO lookout at all and I was like "well thats kind of odd". then, I come up over the incline of the road and it's cop city. no sirens or anything, just 2 cars on the street I was on and a paddy wagon and then another down the street facing my direction

180

followed by cuss words

followed by a 1-2 minute contemplation period

followed by a couple more minutes of walking

followed by a head nod or two

followed by me snorting a bag

followed by more cuss words

now im wondering if theyre gonna change spots. it was such a nice setup too, rather secluded. 

ehhhhhh, its still dope. I sound like a spoiled shit. but it is what it is

stamp is like a red fist or some shit. I prefer stamps with words on them

correction: its a red thumbs up. didnt reslly look at it too closely


----------



## chinky

At least you scored

Nothing worse then goin to cop and when you get tgere..sthong happens and youre out of luck..longest trop home ever, thats when you end up doing something risky to try and find something


----------



## subotai

that crossed my mind for like half a second, "maybe I should just hold off"

but im not wasting several hours for nothing it was one block not the whole city you know

in other news, I just found a 2mg xanny tombstone. tomorrow should be chill. got this job interview than Im gonna pop it before I go to my current job.

oh, and I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night so there's that

n ah not really but I thought of that commercial for some reason

my aunts got a pin I can use so I dont have to catch a stink eye at Walgreens

its the little things im thankful for lol


----------



## jeebis

my dude with whom I have been buying lately is such a sketchball. he has an amazing connect that is pretty cheap/fat bags/really high quality + he will drive, but his sketchyness is uncomfortable. it's hard to explain

either way i still grabbed a half bundle today + a quarter o of some strawberry kush (strawberry cough x og kush) from a colorado dispensary just to get by.


----------



## LSDiesel

just to get by, just to get high


----------



## subotai

went to my usual spot, business as isual. cant wait to get home and grab a fresh rig and tell the world to fuck off for the night

im in such a good mood I gave up my seat to this older black lady

fuck Rosa Parks


----------



## RaZkaL86

Yeah I gotta do a mission across town when I score some do-re-mi...20 min bus ride when it seems like everyone in the world decided to take the bus so there's like 20 stops and of course there's a few assholes who are standing at the bus stop like 20 or 30 minutes waiting for the bus and when it arrives they get on and THEN look for the exact fare to get on....grrrrrr, okay then I get off and it's a 10 min. walk to my guy's house. Allright, finally get there and do my business then go in reverse...10 min walk to the stop and hopefully it comes right away if not a 15-20 min wait for the next bus. Meanwhile my nose is running a marathon and my guts are tearing a hole into my stomach wall or that's how it feels!! Mercifully the bus arrives and I get on to a full bus so it's standing room only...again of course it stops at EVERY STOP it seems and then the coup-de-etat (sp?)...person in a wheelchair!!! Now I have no ill will towards them but why did they time it to be on MY BUS??? The driver has to get up and lower the ramp, escort them to their spot and strap them down. Raise the ramp and off we go.....til they get to their destination. Driver gets up, repeat and then we're off again....hitting every stop again til my stop....(sigh) then I'm practically running to my home and then fumble with keys...haha it just doesn't stop...get to my room and set up....then it's "find the good vein time" and I'm jabbing myself til there's a river of blood running down my arm!!! Then....finally.....rush, bliss and hopefully a trip to the beautiful Land of Nod.....tomorrow I get to do it again, hee hee!!!


----------



## chinky

I got kinda warm and mildly euphoric reading that even though ive been sober a while


----------



## chefman

Man raz,is it worth all that,I guess it is.


----------



## jeebis

fuck the dope man. homeboy wants me to walk like 5 miles to him. nooooo. homie, youre coming to my house.

same with my weed guy. like, its 20 degrees outside. fuck that

edit: i convinced my dope dude to come to me since he owes me 6 dollars lol. and i convinced my weed dude to come to me for 5 dollars extra.

so now im just sitting in my bed, sniffing bag after bag of fire, waiting for my other guy to drop off an ounce of some Larry OG and the chinese food place to get here with my goddamn general tsao's. today is turning around from the cold, miserable, anxiety-filled day that was my friday. 

so how's the rest of my Team Nod doing tonight?


----------



## RaZkaL86

Hey jeebs...just hangin' & bangin' a few P.E.s...not enough for a nod but feels good nonetheless. It's like sleeting here supposed to change over to all rain overnight I hear. Been a slow week as far as gettin high; seems like I get a few good days in a row where coppin' isn't a problem but lately I've found myself relying on my emergency subs. Down to two left but usually when I do use them I only take a quarter pill just to make me well enough to get a good night's sleep...if I do more than that then i run the risk of not feeling the dope if I cop the next day so I use the least amount i can.  Any others from Team Nod around tonite??


----------



## Effect

Copped a few bags today at the expense of overdrafting my account to take an Uber to the spot. Bags were good, but I'm pissed that my direct deposit next week will be that much smaller.

I need to man up and call my bupe doctor which I have been avoiding since I just randomly stopped going a few months back. Fuck man...


----------



## mhammer

jeebis said:


> my dude with whom I have been buying lately is such a sketchball. he has an amazing connect that is pretty cheap/fat bags/really high quality + he will drive, but his sketchyness is uncomfortable. it's hard to explain
> 
> either way i still grabbed a half bundle today + a quarter o of some strawberry kush (strawberry cough x og kush) from a colorado dispensary just to get by.


 I'm sorry I'm new to this is this an Allentown la forum


----------



## subotai

I dont even know what has really happened over the past 3 days

just bits and pieces


----------



## subotai

RaZkaL86 said:


> Yeah I gotta do a mission across town when I score some do-re-mi...20 min bus ride when it seems like everyone in the world decided to take the bus so there's like 20 stops and of course there's a few assholes who are standing at the bus stop like 20 or 30 minutes waiting for the bus and when it arrives they get on and THEN look for the exact fare to get on....grrrrrr, okay then I get off and it's a 10 min. walk to my guy's house. Allright, finally get there and do my business then go in reverse...10 min walk to the stop and hopefully it comes right away if not a 15-20 min wait for the next bus. Meanwhile my nose is running a marathon and my guts are tearing a hole into my stomach wall or that's how it feels!! Mercifully the bus arrives and I get on to a full bus so it's standing room only...again of course it stops at EVERY STOP it seems and then the coup-de-etat (sp?)...person in a wheelchair!!! Now I have no ill will towards them but why did they time it to be on MY BUS??? The driver has to get up and lower the ramp, escort them to their spot and strap them down. Raise the ramp and off we go.....til they get to their destination. Driver gets up, repeat and then we're off again....hitting every stop again til my stop....(sigh) then I'm practically running to my home and then fumble with keys...haha it just doesn't stop...get to my room and set up....then it's "find the good vein time" and I'm jabbing myself til there's a river of blood running down my arm!!! Then....finally.....rush, bliss and hopefully a trip to the beautiful Land of Nod.....tomorrow I get to do it again, hee hee!!!



lol fuck the wheelchair people. I know your pain bro. im going on suboxone on thursday so Im on a bus now going at a really slow crawl because of traffic. god dammit this is killing me


----------



## subotai

I get the hiccups every time I do dope regardless of the ROA

fuckin aliens or somethin man I swear. 

some of the past two weeks 

http://tinypic.com/r/29c50lj/8

http://tinypic.com/r/344ty04/8

RIP Sonic


----------



## jeebis

NO FUCKING WAY.

ok, so i have gastrointestinal problems anyways, so im not stranger to long bouts of painful hiccups. but EVERY FUCKING TIME I NOD I GET THE HICCUPS THAT YOU WOULDNT BELIVE!!! I legit thought i was the only one (since i dont know anyone else that that happens to). ugh, always. like 45-an hour after i dose. my god. 

and id take more pictures of my bags but i legit only get plain white bags (and once were plain green) or i get it loose in 1 bag (like a full g in a bun or something)


----------



## subotai

im here for you bro fuck hiccups and their shenanigans

left my job for the last time today before I start my new one tomorrow. feels weird man. I said bye to everyone and shot up in the bathroom next door as soon as I left because the bus comes every 2 hours on saturday on some bullshit communist scheduling

certain bathrooms are just better for doing drugs in. had everything except water so I bought a bottle of it for 1.29 like a sucker

but id rather pay 1.29 than use toilet water


----------



## ATLL765

subotai said:


> im here for you bro fuck hiccups and their shenanigans
> 
> left my job for the last time today before I start my new one tomorrow. feels weird man. I said bye to everyone and shot up in the bathroom next door as soon as I left because the bus comes every 2 hours on saturday on some bullshit communist scheduling
> 
> certain bathrooms are just better for doing drugs in. had everything except water so I bought a bottle of it for 1.29 like a sucker
> 
> but id rather pay 1.29 than use toilet water



Bastards with the expensive water. Sometimes I'll just cup the needle cap in my hand and fill it at the sink to make it look like I'm washing my hands. Just do that until anyone that's in there leaves and you're good.


----------



## jeebis

i dont shoot but my friend who i get bags with (through his connect) does, so i usually bring out a plastic water bottle filled with water from a Brita filter for him to use to shoot...but only if he doesnt have a bottle of sterile water already. 

my paycheck sucked this week. I've only been able to buy 15 bags and a quarter ounce of weed. i literally have $1.64 left. atleast this friday i get a huge christmas bonus.....


----------



## subotai

I used water from a puddle off the ground once


----------



## cj

subotai said:


> I used water from a puddle off the ground once



Haha yeah I used saliva once. Still not sure how I didn't die from that one


----------



## RaZkaL86

Been there with the water shit so I always carry an old eyedrop bottle with water in it...honestly in the past I've used toilet water after flushing like 10 times. Well I'm still here to be writing this so I guess I didn't catch anything fatal, haha....copped earlier and had to split it with my buddy...two and two. Sucks cause I like to do three in a shot for a maximum rush but if it wasn't for my bud I would be catchin buses back and forth...it's allright cause I figure I'll grease the skids with him cause in like two months he's goin to be gettin a nice check in the mail...his aunt passed last year and left him a nice chunk o' change!! She was loaded from what I hear and he's getting around $70,000!!!! Soooooooooooooo, I'm happy to split whatever I get with him anyways we're runnin buds and get high together. He's got a lot in common with me and he lives down the street from me with our elderly cranky moms whom we live with. We're going through the same shit right now with both our moms having problems with their vision going bad and also the short-term memory is gettin worse every day. 

Anyways that's what's happening in my neck of the woods...trying to hustle up the next round o' bags....so I'll sign off for now. Hope to get some more "Black Jacks" and slam them home!!!


----------



## jeebis

fyi, as someone who works with toilets for a living, the water in the back tank will ALWAYS be clean (unless someones' dropping double deckers in this bitch), and the water in a toilet after flushing a few times will deffinately be clean as long as the toilet looks relatively clean

i once was shooting opana back in the day so my friend and i went to this local burrito spot to get high/hang out for a few hours, and we're standing in the bathroom and the sink is broken. fuck. it was either use orange soda or toilet water. he used saliva. i was the only one to use the "nasty toilet water".


coolest thing i saw was this past summer. my friend i were going to walk downtownt o cop, but we didnt have any water or anythings so he makes a solar still (piece of plastic over a whole in the ground. pebble in the middle and a cup underneath). takes us like an hour and a half to get back, lo and behold, homeboy has enough water for a shot. now that is some survivalist bullshit rihgt there, lol.


----------



## RaZkaL86

saw that on one of those Survivor shows....aren't you supposed to pee in the hole and you're using essentially condensation from the pee evaporating that collects on the plastic??


----------



## jeebis

what? not that i know.

digging the hole allows you to use the moisture in the earth.

so as you junkies may or may not know, even though i have been using opiates for YEARS, with heroin DOMINATING the past 5, I primarily sniff as opposed to shoot. well, tonight i had my friend shoot me. i could only afford 3 bags so i wanted to make it last. i immediately sniffed 1 when we got them because we were hanging out with my dopedude in his house then i had my friend shoot me with my other 2 bags (and my dope is pretty damn good). it honestly wasnt that much better then sniffing a larger amount than what i shot. the rush was meh (while the two guy i was with had their eyes roll back in their skull and say it was orgasmic). meh.

i understand the draw of the needle, but i guess its just not for me. different strokes for different folks i guess

but after those 3 bags i went home, popped 1.5 mg klonopin (i only have 3mg. i need to save the other 1.5 for tomorrow though), and have just been chainsmoking some Bruce Banner and this random 4.3g nug of cherry durban gold (durban poison x swazi gold) my friend gave * 

* long story short, i built my friends grow room and instead of charging him cash i get a percentage of his crop. its been donw for awhile so it's curing. he gave me this nug just to see how AWESOME the shit is coming out. luckily i have a shitload more of this coming. it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO rare to get a 100% sativa like this plant in the us, ESPECIALLY here in the northeast. i mean this shit is pure sativa because it's a cross between two land race sativa strains from africa....and arguably the best landrace strains in africa. smoking this shit literally feels like doing a line of fishscale yay, getting the perfect head high, and the warming sensation of someone wrapping me in a fuzzy blanket, and ofcourse the general super stonedness that comes with weed. when it becomes legal to grow in ny i am ABSOLUTELY getting a clone of it.


----------



## ATLL765

RaZkaL86 said:


> saw that on one of those Survivor shows....aren't you supposed to pee in the hole and you're using essentially condensation from the pee evaporating that collects on the plastic??



You can do that too if the ground is too dry to extract any moisture from it. I believe the show you saw was 'Survivor Man'. The guy's name is Les Stroud. His show was far better than Bear Gryllz or whatever his name was. Les Stroud would actually go out into the wilderness on his own. He would have a situation that was plausible given the locale, e.g. hot air balloon safari crash where he simulated broken legs, getting lost in the woods, etc. You get the point. He would go out for 5 days and would attempt to find help on his own.

I liked his show because it seemed more realistic and proposed situations that were actually ones that were plausible for a regular person to encounter.


----------



## subotai

I used to be afraid of needles because I had to get a lot of tests done as a child but shooting heroin helped me get over that

looking at the positives here


----------



## subotai

lyo im fucked up man. took me like 10mins just to type this post

got a new phone connect for bundles, blank blue bags but theyll put you on your ass real quick.

when I first met the dude I saved his number under "k" because I have this habit of saving my dealer's numbers under a single letter to save time.

the only problem is I forgot his name but was like 95% sure his name was Mike. so I just avoided using his name for the entire conversation by using an assortment of bros and mans. then, when I finally meet up with him in person, I just go

"what's goin on Mike? *stupidly confident handshake extension*"

and he's like

"my name's Jay bro"

and I just felt like a pile of shit but he was like its all good man and we laughed about it. then I took a piss for seriously 45 seconds long and kept having to back up as the piss was flowing back towards me and I felt like Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk

these bags are really good though. everybody's workinn..for ...the....weekennd


----------



## Jabberwocky

subotai said:


> I used to be afraid of needles because I had to get a lot of tests done as a child but shooting heroin helped me get over that
> 
> looking at the positives here



ahahhaahah, thats hilarious, man! look at the positive, right? hey, same thing happened to me. when they used to draw blood my heart would begin to race the minute I saw the needle; nowadays they cant even find a vein and its me showing them where/how to shoot and draw.


----------



## RaZkaL86

ohiofuct said:


> New to site and city. Looking for friends...


Welcome ohiofuct!! Which city (if u like to share it; don't have to)?? Is it me or does it seem like there's new ppl checkin' in every few weeks...then you don't hear from them anymore...not singling you out ohio but there's a few newbies who post here (seems like only here or in MA thread) with the same comment more or less "New here looking to meet ppl and chat, blah blah...Maybe UC's trying to get someone to source them; well that's not happening with me...you'd think LEOs would be a bit more loose and smaht about the way they go about it...maybe I'm being paranoid...anyone else feel the same thing??


----------



## jeebis

eh, it is what it is.

i have such a bad migraine right now. luckily i have a couple bags left over from the bun i bought yesterday and still have like an 8th of some Qleaner left. cant wait until i get my christmas bonus on monday. ill probably be dead lol

but what's new my fellow junkies?


----------



## RaZkaL86

Same ol' sheet my friend...every day a crap shoot whether I can hustle some dough for the day's fix...been doin allright lately but it's not like in the warmer months where there's usually work all the time for me. Now unless we get hammered with tons of snow I won't be doin much unless I find some inside work. I'm seriously getting to the point where it's just so much fuckin' hassle and trouble to make enough money to get fixed for the day that I'm considering quitting the dope game...maybe till it gets warm again, hahaha...wish I could just give it up for good, but I know deep inside that's not gonna happen...


----------



## Felonious Monk

jeebis said:


> coolest thing i saw was this past summer. my friend i were going to walk downtownt o cop, but we didnt have any water or anythings so he makes a solar still (piece of plastic over a whole in the ground. pebble in the middle and a cup underneath). takes us like an hour and a half to get back, lo and behold, homeboy has enough water for a shot. now that is some survivalist bullshit rihgt there, lol.



that, followed by others explanation, is the coolest thing I've ever read in this thread.  That's pretty fucking useful.

I'm just checking in, I don't love dope enough to do nasty LA tar, I'll stick to my Rx..


----------



## LSDiesel

subotai said:


> lyo im fucked up man. took me like 10mins just to type this post
> 
> got a new phone connect for bundles, blank blue bags but theyll put you on your ass real quick.
> 
> when I first met the dude I saved his number under "k" because I have this habit of saving my dealer's numbers under a single letter to save time.
> 
> the only problem is I forgot his name but was like 95% sure his name was Mike. so I just avoided using his name for the entire conversation by using an assortment of bros and mans. then, when I finally meet up with him in person, I just go
> 
> "what's goin on Mike? *stupidly confident handshake extension*"
> 
> and he's like
> 
> "my name's Jay bro"
> 
> and I just felt like a pile of shit but he was like its all good man and we laughed about it. then I took a piss for seriously 45 seconds long and kept having to back up as the piss was flowing back towards me and I felt like Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk
> 
> these bags are really good though. everybody's workinn..for ...the....weekennd



I have the same habbit of saving dealers numbers under one letter. The dealers often say that's they're name anyway. I know like three dealers named "T".

Wish me luck team nod, my last few nods are coming up this week, then it's ibogaine time come new years.


----------



## jeebis

you know, ive done alot of research about ibogaine and i couldnt do it. i'd rather do a form of at home ketamine therapy to be completely honest. i just feel like it would neither be pleasant nor overly helpful. 

and i sympathize with the whole not knowing who you're dealing with thing. when i used to sell weed and shit i would pull that all the time and have no idea who's showing up until they got there. sometimes with dealers too, especially ones that give you a bullshit street name. lol.


----------



## jeebis

sweet baby jesus. i finally got my christmas bonus, and boy was it delightful. first things i did after i cashed it were buy 2 cherry gatorades (because theyre delicious), the last 15 bags my guy had, a half ounce of gorilla glue and a half ounce of great white shark, an 8th of some afgoo honeycomb crumble oil, a gram of ketamine, a really nice bottle of wine (specifically a rich Malbec. so drinkable. yum), and in an hour im grabbing uber to the girl i love's (eventhough we arent dating. shes my best friend though) house with every intention of dancing the horizontal monster mash. 

on a side note, atleast locally here in NY, they're starting to run anti-heroin PSA's in all of the movie theaters prior to every pg-13 and r movie.


----------



## subotai

the cherry ones that are actually white in color right? those are pretty good

im real particular about my gatorade

anyone whos doing heroin isnt going to a movie theater thats retarded

unless, theyre targeting people before they do it. never really works imo. anti drug rhetoric only makes people curious or reaches people who wouldnt have done it anyway

oh but if we can save one child
one life
one future...

fuck that, fix some roads/infrastructure with thay money


----------



## jeebis

fuck yea the white gatorades. 2 for 3$ for the larger bottles? fuck yea. until i realize that a pack of cigs, 2 gatorades, and a lighter is like 15 dollars after tax. fuck buying cigs in ny. i need to get more indian reservation cigs. 20 dollars a carton? dont mind if i do.

and about the theaters that's so true. my friend went to the theater earlier today with his friends and did a shot in the theater during said "combat heroin NY" PSA's. i guess they're targeting people before they do it. he said that they target the guy popping a handfull of hydrocodone and realizing that heroin is a financially and addictively good (although realistically a terrible) move.

on a side note, im getting everything together for tomorrow. gots my weed, wax, a case of Brooklyn Lager, bundle of dope*, my best friend i fucked the other night is bringing me xanax cuz she owes me ketamine money, and then we're going to buy even more k.

i always do this. whenever my friend has specific batches of k (the s-isomer is my psychadelic crack. i can give or take the racemic but that s-isomer is my friend..) i do a shitload over like a week and a half. i was wondering why i havent been sick on days that i dont have heroin and i realized that ive had one white nostril caked in K for a few days lol.

*= i need to point this out. i just traded my friend a g of wax and a half g of ketamine (my total cost on this is less than half of a bundle price). he drives over and does everything really quick in his car window...he barely even stopped...which had me nervous. all he says is "merry christmas, buddy" and drives off. i look when i get inside and the bags are legit the size of 3 of the bags im used to. same killer dope but massive bags. tis' the season, i guess. he also gave me a clean rig even though i dont shoot. im thinking of plugging like 4 bags at a rip tomorrow, but is a bitch to use a rig to plug more than once.

merry christmas eve, team nod.


----------



## subotai

I might actually buy some weed idk. I probably wont, but I thought about it. every time I smoke it feels like I cant feel my legs and I wind up just getting real paranoid about how Im breathing.

when I get high on dope it's never a bad time. Im just... tired of a lot of shit in all honesty. I have some money right now and there's like a billion things I could use it for but ive already put it aside for dope. pretty much the day I left this job I was like "when I get that last bank deposit from here im buying a bundle". and now it's time. and I still want it. fuck that, I NEED it.

I remember saying on here there's 3 things that lead to me getting dope: transport (check), money(cheeeeccck), connect(alwaysa check really but double check atm)

and its going to be nice out for the first time in what feels like forever on friday

fuck, this shits gonna be the death of me. just like a few threads ago. so true

so I warmed the piss up in my mouth. damn that was funny


----------



## jeebis

i lol'd at that last sentence.

and Merry Christmas, team nod.

last night i decided to buy myself a christmas present and bought my self a new oil rig for my bong. today im not even touching weed due to doing dabs all day. also got like 3 bags that i've already started doing and am buying a bunch later today


----------



## harmacologist

Do dope boys make time and a half today?


----------



## jeebis

if they don't they should deffinately contact their union rep and the department of labor about that....


----------



## subotai

spent 3 hours total getting bags yesterday morning and when I finally got the chance to do one of the bags when I got back I asked myself this without even realizing it

"ok so after I do this bag... then what?"

and it was weird because that's where my chain of thought ended. everything had been about just getting the shit up to that point and then I realized I dont actually do anything else anymore.

my hip was really bothering me this morning though, at least that's taken care of for the time being. 

I was supposed to have a follow up visit with this suboxone doctor on monday but I only used 3 strips total so far so im not exactly sure why I would even go there. it's such a stupid system imo. complete money maker for the people and they try to legitimize it with a waiting room and some fucking magazine racks. Im just going to cancel it if They wont charge me for the visit still. I got pretty much nothing out or suboxone except an urge to do heroin


----------



## ATLL765

jeebis said:


> if they don't they should deffinately contact their union rep and the department of labor about that....



lol. I got this image in my head of the corner boys picketing and berating the scabs coming in that are like 5 year old kids.


----------



## stephanie7131116

Heyyy... Used to post here a very long time ago under a different username. Anyway, I was at the methadone clinic after eight or so years of using and I was there for about two years which was OK I suppose, didn't use, just drank.. A lot but recently quit that. Also, my financial aid shut off and I racked up a hefty bill at the clinic until they put me on a discharge taper which was brutal and so I didn't even bother with it after 35mgs. I went two weeks before reverting to old ways just to get out of bed. Step backwards? Hell yes but watching my sister get it in made it pretty hard, also, just been maintaining. The clinic didn't even enform me of my bill until it reached a grand, so that seemed impossible seeing as I don't have access to immediate amounts of money of that level. Before the taper, they gave me a week to pay it off. Im deff not missing the early morning trips there. Ahhh, just rambling, listening to iration, messing with my new tab, feeling alright, about to get ready for the day. Hopefully this site is just as busy as it used to be. I need relief from boredom.


----------



## jeebis

oh fuck. your boy Jeebis might have to quit for awhile very soon. my family is finding out about all this (i got family across the country calling me and shit now) + the girl i love wants to drive across country this spring/summer and i am NOT being stuck a car for a couple days in withdrawal. plus she doesnt do dope anymore so i cant ask for stops in philly, chicago, and st louis, and this requires some serious money...ive worked it out in my head that in order to afford gas, beer, weed, and shenanigans for this trip i need to save slightly less than what i spend on heroin a week. or give up smoking weed and you can kiss my ass for that one. 

worst part is im sick as shit right now. i just scraped the 4 bags i got yesterday and the straw i used. then i found an old syringe in my desk. now im getting phonecalls from my dealer saying there's new fire in stock. 

but im realizing now that i actually make good money doing what i do for a living, but living off of 30-40 dollars a week because of my heroin and marijuana habits are insane isn't cutting it anymore. it was one thing when i was fresh through college and all that shit but im getting older. i dont want to be a 30 something year old junkie alone with nothing to show for it.


----------



## subotai

I hear you jeebis. mostly because anyone who's got a heroin habit cant honestly look themselves in the eyes and say

"this is a positive influence on my life"

my own family is trying to tell me Im too good for the helicopter warehouse receiving job Im going to re-apply for and that I should go back to school but they dont fucking get it, Im never going back to school. ever.

Dont get me wrong, I navigate these conversations like im fucking Ferdinand Magellan but still, this shit is getting old. They dont realize that the more they poke and prod about this shit, the more likely I am to just cease all communication once I actually do get back to it.

And when you really break it down, I DONT have any debt to anyone. I DIDNT overdose and die. I DO know what the fuck Im doing. And I know everyone says that but seriously im not your average dope fiend. Im not even a dope fiend, I just would rather get high than go out and grab a couple beers with some friends. 

I dont smoke weed anymore. I dont do psychadelics anymore. I dont SELL drugs anymore. I dont spend money on anything besides a bundle of dope once a week. and it DOESNT have fentanyl in it, it ISNT from someone who's going to rob me, and it's NOT the reason Im in the position I'm in now. If I wasnt doing heroin I probably would have put a gun to my head and blew my brains out years ago, real shit. Not becauss I can't handle life and all of it's hoops and jumps, but because I dont fucking want to. 

If I want to get a job that pays 18 dollars and hour and not do shit with the rest of my life than that's just how it is, you dont see me asking for money for shit. I dont cause no harm to anyone, they just bring it on themselves for worrying that Im going to wind up dead in my room from an overdose all because I took to much or something I dont know. and sometimes I seriously wish it would turn out like that, let them reap what they sow and everything. 

ugh, now I just want to get high even more but I have to wait until tomorrow. Fuckin ridiculous man, I should have never even left that job to begin with. I dont need a fucking diploma, I just need to get my license back. Last time I checked 1 year is 1 year regardless of how much dope I shoot or bullshit I wade through.


----------



## subotai

dude and I called my brother out so bad on some shit, made him look like a real idiot which isnt that hard because he is an idiot but it felt good man

you snorted a bunch of roxis and smoked crack. I snorted/shot dope. sorry for taking it to the next level bro. just one more thing Im better at than you but I stopped keeping track a long time ago. I also lead the league in making our mom cry and number of dvds burned but thats a skewed statistic since he doesnt know shit about computers or much of anything

all I gotta do is show up, we'll fucking see what's what


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

i see your whole I can shoot heroin thing sub and I raise you
I am better than you because not only have I shot heroin relatively successfully, succeeding in fucking my life up completely, I have injected crystal a few times in my lifetime
crystal>heroin
LMZ>you
have fun being a junkie man, I kinda like being able to shit and whatnot.
Have fun in the county when you end up in there and you're sick and shit.
I'm appalled that I lived the heroin lifestyle for so long and thought it was cool, but maybe I just have high standards since I'm not sticking needles in my arms anymore and since I quit needing to get high everyday or else I would get depressed and all that..
oh
and add "knows how to inject crack cocaine, and has injected crack cocaine" before to my repertoire.
LMZ>you
and I'm clean lololol


----------



## cj

This should be good......


----------



## xstayfadedx

LSDMDMA&12784155 said:
			
		

> i see your whole I can shoot heroin thing sub and I raise you
> I am better than you because not only have I shot heroin relatively successfully, succeeding in fucking my life up completely, I have injected crystal a few times in my lifetime
> crystal>heroin
> LMZ>you
> have fun being a junkie man, I kinda like being able to shit and whatnot.
> Have fun in the county when you end up in there and you're sick and shit.
> I'm appalled that I lived the heroin lifestyle for so long and thought it was cool, but maybe I just have high standards since I'm not sticking needles in my arms anymore and since I quit needing to get high everyday or else I would get depressed and all that..
> oh
> and add "knows how to inject crack cocaine, and has injected crack cocaine" before to my repertoire.
> LMZ>you
> and I'm clean lololol



Shut up you have no room to brag.
Congrats on being off dope, but you're not clean by any means.
And you were just sticking needles into your arm a few weeks ago (shooting meth).
That isn't a lot of time away from the needles.

You say fuck the heroin lifestyle, but you still brag about it everyday.  You act like being a junkie made you cool or even cultured.  Hahaha no.


----------



## subotai

lol who are you? I mainly talk to myself and sometimes jeebis so Im nof sure what you are even expecting. as far. as. a response goes considering im dipping in and out atm


----------



## Bella_Luvs_Blues

Hey all...I was just wondering if anyone knew of a site like Jynxie's Natural Habitat? I know that she passed recently and it doesn't seem like the person that took over has kept up with it much. It doesn't have to be strictly for the NY area. I just really like the Art of Glassine and i heard that they are trying to do away with them so I would like to admire as many as I can =)
Thanks
xoxoxo
Bella


----------



## cj

Bella_Luvs_Blues said:


> Hey all...I was just wondering if anyone knew of a site like Jynxie's Natural Habitat? I know that she passed recently and it doesn't seem like the person that took over has kept up with it much. It doesn't have to be strictly for the NY area. I just really like the Art of Glassine and i heard that they are trying to do away with them so I would like to admire as many as I can =)
> Thanks
> xoxoxo
> Bella


I didn't know her personally but read her posts at opiophile a lot and was really sad/pissed off that two young kind souls where snuffed out in such a violent manner. From what I have heard there murder will likely go unsolved as well. Insult to injury if you will. I don't know of another site like hers at the moment. She was a great artist that's for sure. One of those random internet posters I never knew but will not easily forget.


----------



## zephyrhigh

=LSDiesel;12764816]I have the same habbit of saving dealers numbers under one letter. The dealers often say that's they're name anyway. I know like three dealers named "T".

Wish me luck team nod, my last few nods are coming up this week, then it's ibogaine time come new years.[/QUOTE]
Well i try to hide it from my hubby (not working too well stuck in west Memphis arkwith no connects sick as fuuuuuuuccckk) but I save their numbers under names of ppl I know so I noddingly mix them up way too often calling my mom looking for a few points is kinda fucked up hahahaha


----------



## jeebis

i always put my connects as random real names that i dont know a soul under. have i ever hung out with someone named "todd" "quincy" or "shanequa"? no. and thats why i remember.

but for the love of god someone help. long story, went to a nye  party with some friends and drank way too much + did way too much k, xanax, and temazepam. it was so bad this morning. i started getting the hershey squirts running to the bathroom that i had to hide my boxers in their trashcan outside. lol. fuck me man. 

and now im sick in general, not too dope sick, but still after last night, fuck


----------



## cj

jeebis said:


> i always put my connects as random real names that i dont know a soul under. have i ever hung out with someone named "todd" "quincy" or "shanequa"? no. and thats why i remember.
> 
> but for the love of god someone help. long story, went to a nye  party with some friends and drank way too much + did way too much k, xanax, and temazepam. it was so bad this morning. i started getting the hershey squirts running to the bathroom that i had to hide my boxers in their trashcan outside. lol. fuck me man.
> 
> and now im sick in general, not too dope sick, but still after last night, fuck



temazepam fucks my stomach up something fierce. Well I am doing every drug but heroin the last 2 weeks but I dunno whats gonna happen tomorrow. My boy owes me a largish sum of money and hes paying tomorrow. Gonna be a challenge cause all my friends are in either Denver or Miami for new years concerts. Like its looking like a choice between going north for smack or south for meth. fucking Alabama so stereotypical.


----------



## standupthenfall

Hello everyone! I've been following this thread for years, and finally got around to signing up. I first posted in the Massachusetts thread, because that's where I live now. I am originally from Philly/Camden and have been using for over 10 years. I've copped in many cities all over the country, all over the world. Right now, living in mass, I'm actually impressed with what the paper city (Holyoke) has been pushing. Class A all the way through, and cheap prices. Reminds me of back hone, kensington, north Camden. Everything is stamps.  BTW, can someone teach me how to put an icon next to my name haha?


----------



## standupthenfall

I was driving from Texas to philly a few month back with my dog, we were moving actually. I stopped in Pensacola, FL to visit a good friend of mine. We were in Iraq together. Anyways crimson, I thought their wasnt much dope (h) in Alabama? I scored in Pensacola but only cause my friends neighbor had a connect. He said it came from mobile. It was white powder, but very very expensive.


----------



## porkchops

Subotai - yo I heard WIP got rid of Gargano. He shickt does get stale, but it was still a surprise. I wouldn't mind hearing more of Bruno; oh, and fuck Michael Barkann.


----------



## jeebis

finally. got a new connect. decided to grab a bundle off of him that turned out to be pretty fucking good. I've also been pissing through weed. im down to my last .5g of God Bud and last 1.78g of some white rhino....but tomorrow im getting a half o of the white rhino and some wax so all is well

i even scored 5mg of klonopin in the deal somehow

but i can tell my new connect gets his bags from jersey because the actual bag it's self is smaller. not as in the quantity of heroin, but i mean the actual physical dimensions of the bag is small. similar to how bags of NY origin are short and fat


----------



## subotai

porkchops said:


> Subotai - yo I heard WIP got rid of Gargano. He shickt does get stale, but it was still a surprise. I wouldn't mind hearing more of Bruno; oh, and fuck Michael Barkann.


damn i didnt hear of that going down, I dont get to listen to WIP that much without a car anymore

im not sure how im going to listen to that timeslot anymore without both glen and ant. I think I need to lie down...

Im just counting the hours until I last took suboxone at this point. I took 2mgs at 12pm so that puts me currently at around 19 hrs. gonna try and catch some sleep to really wait it out


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

yesterday I ran into one of my heroin dealers from 2012 on the street. 
as in he saw me, walked up and greeted me.
Told him i'm clean now and whatnot and he said he isnt sure if he's going to go back to selling
I just know that someone who has a gang tattoo on their face isn't going to stop selling drugs/mainly heroin because he was in the county a few months again
LMZ 1 heroin 0.
I am not about that heroin bullshit anymo. Want people to know who I used to fuck with that I dont use anymore, so therefore like
idk
I just want all my old heroin dealers to know I'm not playing anymore with that shit at all even just one bag.


----------



## LSDiesel

I am proud to say that I took the plunge, went to mexico, and got treatment at an ibogaine clinic. I probably will be writing about this in much more detail, but I just literally flew back into Newark from California this morning. I left right after christmas, shooting the last of my dope bags, and also downing the last of my Ultra Enhanced Indo on my way to the airport. Flight to SoCal was about 6 hours, so I knew even with using right before boarding the plane I would be dopesick upon arrival in California. 

I got picked up at the airport, and crossed the border into Mexico, where I actually got some Oxycodone (2 OP 80s every 10 hours) for the first day upon arrival which was nice. I was hoping for blues so I might actually get a buzz, but since I have a monster tolerance and they gave me the Perdue OPs, it felt I was taking a green 15mg (blue's little cousin) every hour versus getting 80mg all at once. It got me well enough to sleep. 

The next morning I started treatment. I have had a lot of personal issues leading up to this, but after reading success stories of morninggloryseed and Xorkoth I felt like it was my best shot to quit dope, which I need to do in my life for a myriad of reasons.

The first 2 days were rough and I was glad to be in a clinical environment because I did have cravings for something just to make me feel comfortable. While ibogaine does take away withdrawal, it is far from "pleasant" and actually presents a "new problem". The most enjoyable part of it is the beginning probably because you feel your withdrawal go away, but you wont be able to eat or sleep or even be able to move easily for anywhere from 12 to 48 hours. and in my case it was like 36 hours before I got any food in me which was just a smoothie and half a grilled cheese. Before that, all I was drinking was water and fruit juice.

It was a serious tax on my body, but I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER detoxed this quickly and felt this good in such a short amount of time. One week later I still have some insomnia and I have the multiple sneezes in a row, but I am not withdrawing.

This ibogaine shit is the real deal. Fuck methadone and suboxone. They were traps for me. I know its early to call it a complete success, but ibogaine has given me more hope and worked better than I couldve possibly expected.


----------



## Lucylovesmolly1

LSDiesel said:


> I am proud to say that I took the plunge, went to mexico, and got treatment at an ibogaine clinic. I probably will be writing about this in much more detail, but I just literally flew back into Newark from California this morning. I left right after christmas, shooting the last of my dope bags, and also downing the last of my Ultra Enhanced Indo on my way to the airport. Flight to SoCal was about 6 hours, so I knew even with using right before boarding the plane I would be dopesick upon arrival in California.
> 
> I got picked up at the airport, and crossed the border into Mexico, where I actually got some Oxycodone (2 OP 80s every 10 hours) for the first day upon arrival which was nice. I was hoping for blues so I might actually get a buzz, but since I have a monster tolerance and they gave me the Perdue OPs, it felt I was taking a green 15mg (blue's little cousin) every hour versus getting 80mg all at once. It got me well enough to sleep.
> 
> The next morning I started treatment. I have had a lot of personal issues leading up to this, but after reading success stories of morninggloryseed and Xorkoth I felt like it was my best shot to quit dope, which I need to do in my life for a myriad of reasons.
> 
> The first 2 days were rough and I was glad to be in a clinical environment because I did have cravings for something just to make me feel comfortable. While ibogaine does take away withdrawal, it is far from "pleasant" and actually presents a "new problem". The most enjoyable part of it is the beginning probably because you feel your withdrawal go away, but you wont be able to eat or sleep or even be able to move easily for anywhere from 12 to 48 hours. and in my case it was like 36 hours before I got any food in me which was just a smoothie and half a grilled cheese. Before that, all I was drinking was water and fruit juice.
> 
> It was a serious tax on my body, but I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER detoxed this quickly and felt this good in such a short amount of time. One week later I still have some insomnia and I have the multiple sneezes in a row, but I am not withdrawing.
> 
> This ibogaine shit is the real deal. Fuck methadone and suboxone. They were traps for me. I know its early to call it a complete success, but ibogaine has given me more hope and worked better than I couldve possibly expected.



Good for you bud.


----------



## cj

standupthenfall said:


> I was driving from Texas to philly a few month back with my dog, we were moving actually. I stopped in Pensacola, FL to visit a good friend of mine. We were in Iraq together. Anyways crimson, I thought their wasnt much dope (h) in Alabama? I scored in Pensacola but only cause my friends neighbor had a connect. He said it came from mobile. It was white powder, but very very expensive.



There's plenty of h in Birmingham. It's twice as expensive as it is in the northeast but the quality can be pretty good. 

I ended up buying some hash instead of the harder drugs. Feeling like that was a solid decision.


----------



## standupthenfall

crimsonjunk said:


> There's plenty of h in Birmingham. It's twice as expensive as it is in the northeast but the quality can be pretty good.
> 
> I ended up buying some hash instead of the harder drugs. Feeling like that was a solid decision.



That's a good call with the hash, I've been getting back into smoking more now recently. I've been on heroin for a long time, even though im only 27. I want to stop and just smoke, but I know that's impossible. Good to know about Birmingham, do you have to know someone there? No open air I presume? I was planning on driving from Massachusetts to Florida (Pensacola) then maybe to Texas. I know people all over from being in the military for a 4 years


----------



## zephyrhigh

standupthenfall said:


> That's a good call with the hash, I've been getting back into smoking more now recently. I've been on heroin for a long time, even though im only 27. I want to stop and just smoke, but I know that's impossible. Good to know about Birmingham, do you have to know someone there? No open air I presume? I was planning on driving from Massachusetts to Florida (Pensacola) then maybe to Texas. I know people all over from being in the military for a 4 years


For the most part its not open air in Birmingham I make a few trips a week from Tuscaloosa for h but occasionally u can luck up and have random connects but most def have to have numbers so u can get the good shyt with the good deals its normally 20$ a point but aswith most drugs buying quantity is cheapest way to do it.....


----------



## standupthenfall

alteknj said:


> I like Winter for the fact that it's a lot easier to steal shit and shoplift from stores. Kind of hard to do it with shorts and a t-shirt in summer. But Summer is when everyone comes out and I have fond memories of cruising Newark in the summer. Granted, there will always be people outside selling drugs any time of year. It's an atmosphere thing.



I always loved jersey/Philly in the summer. The crews are REALLY outvin the summer though. Lawn chairs and all.I read your blog thoughvit was pretty kick ass. I firs started scoring in Camden in 05 "lean with it" stamp. Since then ive scoredALL over, from Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia to Washington state down to Texas, now I'm back to getting stamps up in Massachusetts. I always liked getting stamps the best.


----------



## standupthenfall

subotai said:


> dude and I called my brother out so bad on some shit, made him look like a real idiot which isnt that hard because he is an idiot but it felt good man
> 
> you snorted a bunch of roxis and smoked crack. I snorted/shot dope. sorry for taking it to the next level bro. just one more thing Im better at than you but I stopped keeping track a long time ago. I also lead the league in making our mom cry and number of dvds burned but thats a skewed statistic since he doesnt know shit about computers or much of anything
> 
> all I gotta do is show up, we'll fucking see what's what



And your proud if this why? You made your mom cry more? Sound like POS to me


----------



## zephyrhigh

Nice..... I was out spanging yesterday so that I could make a trip up to birmingham but despite what i do to get my next fix i make sure my mother doesn't bother herself with my tactics i have been on this shyt on and off for a few years now and she made it her priority to know all about it needless to say she got pretty upset about it she was mainly concerned about me being female how I made my money to get high so i tend to leave my family out of the equation including my mom


----------



## jeebis

well fuck. my girlfriend is in the hospital for the next 3 days, im having panic attacks and want nothing more than to have her safe in my bed so i can take care of her, so i caved and bought dope even though ive been trying my damndest not to so i can get clean for her.

i mean yea, i only bought 5 bags and decided to spend the rest of my cash on some White Widow so i didnt have enough money to get more, but i still feel like a piece of shit....just a piece of shit who's nodding off with my trademark joint rolled with a RAW hemp paper/white cherry gatorade/bag of all reds starburst by my side,


----------



## LSDiesel

I've been smoking "Chuck Yeager" buds, Have you ever heard of this jeebis? I know you know all these crazy weed strain names


----------



## jeebis

ive never heard of "chuck yeager", but thre IS a strain of kush called Yeager OG......

and you're right, i am very knowledgeable when it comes to weed primarily because i've been a heavy daily smoker every day since I was 15 due to multiple serious afflictions and disorders that i choose to smoke for as opposed to constantly taking multiple pills at a time....some of which i would take for the side effects of the other meds.

that and i've been involved in every aspect of the weed culture at some point so ive been able to establish friendships with a few growers/serious medical connects so i am 100% sure of the quality of the weed and whatever strain im told it is i know it is.

on the plus side though; some damn fine heroin and even damn finer white widow has me feeling like a million bucks right now


----------



## woamotive

Reading all these threads depresses me.. I want nothing more than to pack up and move aNYWHERE with an open air market. Or, to buy a car. Small town WI is nowhere for a dopefiend to live, man.... Unless to clean up. Sad times


----------



## LSDiesel

Now that I look at it, it is labeled "Chuck Yeager OG". I thought it was "06" like a strain invented from 2006. Crazy weed names


----------



## subotai

standupthenfall said:


> And your proud if this why? You made your mom cry more? Sound like POS to me



lol my mom cries over everything. it was somewhat in jest, but not really at the same time.

I dont have to feel bad about anything ive done to this point, it all evens out. I dont judge people based off the internet, and I dont really care if you do. 

I havent even gotten high in a week, because it wasnt feasible for me to.

If it's possible, I'll get high.

If I don't have money, I dont

and I was just spending all my leftover money on dope but that's not the case anymore and Im finagling my way into a nice job soon so Im sure anything I made her cry about will be forgiven like it has been already.

in other words: we have plenty of towels, thanks


----------



## jeebis

LSDiesel said:


> Now that I look at it, it is labeled "Chuck Yeager OG". I thought it was "06" like a strain invented from 2006. Crazy weed names



right on. ive never heard of it referred to as "chuck yeager og", only "yeager og", but im pretty damn certain it's the strain im thinking of. i've been loving the white widow my guy has at the moment. true one hit quit weed. 

goes great with a half bun of some killer fire.


----------



## LSDiesel

jeebis, which weed strains are the most "narcotic" in your experience?


----------



## jeebis

LSDiesel said:


> jeebis, which weed strains are the most "narcotic" in your experience?



oh good god. even though im young, i have a metric fuckload of experience in the medical marijuana field (even though i live in ny. fuck yo' rules.)

"narcotic" is a broad deffinition. the best sativa i've ever had was some Cherry Durban Poison from a dispensary in Denver. No joke, 2 hits and i felt like i blew a line of some seriously good coke and was immediately wrapped in a blanket. i will say my top 5 strains that i've consumed (in no particular order) would be: Matanuska Thunderfuck, real/legit ass NY sour diesel, Cinderella 99, Blueberry x Chemdawg (ideally the mid 90's chemdawg. although i've had "newer blends" thanks to grower friends), and Hellraiser OG or ghost train haze. that last slot is hard to pick, lol.

the most narcotic-"opiate-esque"-effect i can remember was a few grams of some Hellraiser OG shatter i picked up not too long ago actually. good god. talk about nodding off THC....

but if you're looking for the more opiated-side of the narcotic spectrum, you're going to want a heavy indica/indica-dominant hybrid. if you want more of a stimulant/cerebral situation, the heavier the sativa the better (but, with us being in north america, sativas are hard to come by. typically you wont see pure sativas in the black market due to it being more economically feasible to grow an indica/a hybrid for the indica's growth and yield properties + the sativa's higher THC content. which is a shame since sativas taste like sunshine, but we dont have the climate conducive to pure sativas). essentially you're in good shape if the strain you're getting ends in "kush". 

although there is fucking NOTHING like an 8th of some ghost train haze shatter when you've got a couple bundles in your pocket. hehehe, now that's a good time. too bad instead of heroin and shatter i opted for some White Widow and a handfull of clean e pills (white lightning bolts). although i have accidentally lit a TON of shit on fire because i've been nodding with a torch in my hand. dabs can get dangerous lol.


----------



## LSDiesel

I'm glad you took the time to break it down.  I had some shit called "mighty might" I think in college. I swear it felt like coke also. Sativa mos def.


----------



## jeebis

yea. sativas aren't usually seen in the black market because the plants tend to grow very tall and lanky/dont have that high of a yield per plant. most people grow indicas/hybrids because the plants are shorter and yields are higher.....although with the new legal states i've seen more sativas popping up on the market. namely Lemon Haze and maui wowie. 

although my friend and i justsplit the cost of the last 10 e pills my guy had (clean e pills in ny dont exist. deadass i havent seen a clean pill around here since 2011. these white lightning bolts are sooooo legit) he brought some headband x super silver haze. traded me 2 gs of that strain for 2 gs of the white widow i have. i then traded 1 of those gs for 3 bags of dope, so im kinda happy at the moment.


----------



## LSDiesel

Yeah man. Those white lightning bolts are gems. They are caffiene and MDA. Perfect for a night out rolling. It's so hard to find legit pills


----------



## jeebis

hell yea. i've been trying to stock up on these, but every time i get them they end up getting eaten by my friends so i bought 5 just to sit on for my girlfriend and i


----------



## zephyrhigh

Anyone in the bham areajust an FYI some of the purest white China ive seen in a long ass minute fell into my lap a few nights ago and had me ducked for a few hours my tolerance isnt shytty either be safe out there!


----------



## standupthenfall

subotai said:


> lol my mom cries over everything. it was somewhat in jest, but not really at the same time.
> 
> I dont have to feel bad about anything ive done to this point, it all evens out. I dont judge people based off the internet, and I dont really care if you do.
> 
> I havent even gotten high in a week, because it wasnt feasible for me to.
> 
> If it's possible, I'll get high.
> 
> If I don't have money, I dont
> 
> and I was just spending all my leftover money on dope but that's not the case anymore and Im finagling my way into a nice job soon so Im sure anything I made her cry about will be forgiven like it has been already.
> 
> in other words: we have plenty of towels, thanks


in other words: we have plenty of towels, thanks[/QUOTE]
 You have plenty of towels to soak up your moms tears? Is that what your saying? I'm not here to judge, but I know I've hurt my family. I started hanging out in north Philly when I was only 15-16 years old, shooting dope in bandos. Stealing in Philly to sell at the corner stores Camden. It kills me to know that I hurt and continue to hurt my family. Their would never be enough towels in my eyes for me to be OK with hurting my own mother.


----------



## standupthenfall

standupthenfall said:


> in other words: we have plenty of towels, thanks


 You have plenty of towels to soak up your moms tears? Is that what your saying? I'm not here to judge, but I know I've hurt my family. I started hanging out in north Philly when I was only 15-16 years old, shooting dope in bandos. Stealing in Philly to sell at the corner stores Camden. It kills me to know that I hurt and continue to hurt my family. Their would never be enough towels in my eyes for me to be OK with hurting my own mother.[/QUOTE]

56


----------



## LSDiesel

zephyrhigh said:


> Anyone in the bham areajust an FYI some of the purest white China ive seen in a long ass minute fell into my lap a few nights ago and had me ducked for a few hours my tolerance isnt shytty either be safe out there!



as in broome co? im not from there but i drive thru all the time on my way to western upstate ny


----------



## zephyrhigh

No as in birmingham Alabama sorry should have been more specific.


----------



## LSDiesel

When are you Alabamans gonna get a pro NFL team?


----------



## zephyrhigh

You know.... when you find out let me know!!!! It'd be much appreciated but in the mean time I'm happy with our tide!!!!! RTR!!!


----------



## chinky

they already have a pro team...

its called the University of Alabama..



im still here in Atlanta..back on the dope hunt...

I go threw littler spurts of tryin to find it and then I just stop..ive been clean for so long it doesn't bother me at all but sometimes I get that itch after turning on drugs inc or intervention or something

ive used oxy and hydro like 1-2x a month just cause and I smoke weed but still haven't found dope...a couple guys in the neighborhood like crack but talk shit about never doing heroin..i couldn't help but laugh..i sit back and see these kids_they are like 17-19 and droppedout) and I just know how they are gonna end yup..i saw them yesterday riding around in the ones dads van that they hotwired and then the little fucker pulled out a a lil 9mm andf im like yall are just stupid..not only did they hot wire it and had no keys, they had a pistol and none of them have licenses...

i can just tell they will be doin dope in no time..they aren't totally into pills yet, they still into the coke but its only time...its only time



i hope everyone else is good...this was my first sign in and post in like over a month so now im gonna go check the shrine to see who else has ded on me...

chink


----------



## jeebis

chinkyyyyyyyy!!!!! good to see you're still kicking around. I remember back in the day before i became synonymous with dope (in the heyday of my raver days) and remembering seeing people pump their bodies full of god awful chemicals (i did too. i stuck to my handful of gems, but ill try anything once) and talking shit about when i was the first one to come outof the opiate closet. 

and fuck my anxiety is super high. its fucked up that its far easier for me to grab a bunch of heroin instead of a damn benzo. the struggle is real at the moment, but im still trying to stay away. already went through an 8th of weed, and about to break out the shatter just to cope


----------



## chinky

yeah im not going nowhere..ive just been l;ayin low cause the more i post and talk about dope the more I want it and im still in the "waitin for it to come to me" mode 



but ive been callin my weed guy and he aint pickin up...I could call the guy with the mids but imma wait til tomorrow to do that if hes still not pickin up...cause you know everytime you call someone else the person you really want always calls back after you get the other shit...I just scrape some resin for now lol

I knew I should have called earlier before I ran out but I got high and took a nap and just lost track of time, and now hes not pickin up..WTF


----------



## jeebis

ewwww resin. 

im not going to work today because its really cold and fuck you. lol. just getting stoned all day wishing i had dope money

edit: well this fucking blows. symptoms of withdrawal are KILLING me right now. im just racked with pain and feel awful. i went scouring through my house to find anything that will help. i encountered (and thus consumed): dayquil (for tylenol and dxm), famotidine (heartburn is a bitch), delsym cough drops (for the minute amount of dxm), a multivitamin, ibuprofen, fexofenidine (its an antihistamine but i figured why the fuck not), i have about 2 grams of white widow left (fuck), a couple dabs (but no lighter so itd have to go through the pen), and enough rum to get drunk...but i fucking hate rum and the only mixers i have are gingerale and orange juice. im saving the benedryl and nortriptyline till later tonight so i have some chance at sleeping. i wish i fucking had more trazodone or some benzos or something, but i have 12 dollars until friday.  fuck.


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

thought about getting dope today
then was like
nah fucks that mane
i'm nto ruining my life over that shi mane
its nice being clean
especially when you can still do speed.


----------



## zephyrhigh

It feels great when u can get to a point in your life like that unfortunately for me its like damn I need dope today sick as fuck!


----------



## jeebis

FUCK YEA, SWEET BABY JESUS! my ketamine guy wanted some of those white lightning bolts ive been talking about, but i only had one on me that im trying to save, so i told him i would trade my connect for some k...and now homeboy is on his way to me with a .5. time for the white boy detox. 

noone ever believes me that K will take you out of withdrawal until i make them put it up their nose and chill. ugh. fuck the shit i found in my medicine cabinet, k is better than the low end opiates (hydrocodone/dihydrocodone/codeine/etc) when it comes to withdrawal symptoms. and it sure as fuck makes youforget about dope/life/how to walk.


----------



## LSDiesel

aren't there like a million and one benzo RCs that can be ordered to your doorstep jeebis?

I never looked into it really. I always thought benzos sucked. They were good with uppers, I always thought a benzo would go great in a MDXX pill


----------



## jeebis

yea. etizolam being the big one, but i dont want to wait that long. and im broke. benzos are far better for comedowns/opiate potentiation/medical necessity. like, i wont trip/roll/get coked or ice'd out of my skull without a handfull of benzos (or heroin) for after.

and im gonna say that benzos in a roll wouldn't be too smart. it would dampen the effects of the MDXX compound, for sure.


----------



## subotai

gone


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

i didnt know there were non blue bags in philly.
i remember man
baseball bat bags, they were like getting hit over the head with a bat, yo ass is out
but my all time favorite was these doublewide blank white bags
they were RIDICULOUS


----------



## jeebis

oh man this "vanilla k" thats going around my city is fucking sweet. very wonky, but the shit doesnt burn in your nose like usual. its odd, but its delicious and i feel literally 10000000x better than i did. throwing on a BadBadNotGood album and sparking a bowl. went with my dude to get some chocolate mushroom frogs (chocolate frogs with ~3gs of penis envy mushies in them.) and rolls, got him a good deal, so he gave me a good bit.

HORSE TRANQUILIZER TO THE RESCUE!!!!even though its also used in humans....and cats.....and anything else with a pulse......but for real, im convinced that there is no better detox/withdrawal chemical. yay science! 

and i havent had a stamp in ages. blank white bags are the norm. sometimes the smaller jersey-style white bags, sometimes blank green bags, but no stamps since last spring .


----------



## jeebis

double post dont care. so this blows. i have a stomach virus (cant stop shitting or puking, and not in the same way of withdrawal. i feel.....virus-y and my best friend's little sister is sick as shit even though that motherfucker was JUST at my house the other day. dick.)

however, i was able to pull 12 dollars and a half gram of weed together (since i have plenty of shatter to last me until i get paid at midnight so im not too concerned) to trade my friend that just got his klonopin script. fuck yea. gonna ride this shit out with benzos since im out of ketamine and its a matter of hours before i start going into withdrawal again. this week blows, and im making like no money on my paycheck this week, so im fucked for this coming week.

edit: so i helped my dude get some bags and he hooked me up with a bag and shot me up since i cant do it myself. didnt feel it much in terms of rush, but i sure as hell am nodding off of just that bag. the 3mg of klonopin might have helped too....


----------



## chinky

actually copped dope tonite guys..imam get high for the first time in like 14months tomorrow cause i got back with it late and want to be able to fully enjoy it without wanting to go to bed and hour or 2 later..i would be really happy with 2 highs but i only got like .3 of some "raw" and i don't know how good it is and so we shall see..didn't pay too much but dope seems to be a little more expensive here, at least threw that guy..but i met him threw this chick and she didn't tax me nothing so it was a decent deal, the same she got too cause she let me pick which one i wanted cause we got the same thing..

its a nice light grey color with a faint hint of vinegar..i can tell it was cut as some point  based on how it feels..kinda looks like the raw i used to get from my guy what i could tell was rerocked and i would bitch him out but this seems like it holds together real well and actually hard to brake up but again i wont know til tomorrow and ill be here to let yall know

i mma try and take a pic to show yall


----------



## jeebis

FREE MONEY!

checked my bank account since my direct deposit comes in today. my boss paid me for an extra day. FUCK YEA. that's a dope winfall since i budgeted the rest of my check which doesnt include dope this week.

*does victory dance* quarter ounce of some Ft. Collins Cough my brother sent me from denver (fcc is a really really really nice clone-only strain from colorado. traded it for some really really really nice clone-only "518" sour [the local area code's original sour. i didnt see ANY sour in any colorado dispensary out there that came close]), quarter ounce of some Berry White (white widow x blueberry), a gram of some pure sativa mahatma shatter, half a bundle of some FUEGO dope, and i somehow had a mg of klonopin left over from last night. 

might go grab more klonopin, a 6 pack of Bell's Winter White Ale, a gram of ketamine, and then go have sexual relations with my female for a few hours since dope dick is the BEST (minus the whole inability to cum thing...but hey. WE SHALL PERSEVERE!)

hows team nod doing for this weekend?


----------



## subotai

I used to think being addicted to the needle was ridiculous and never understood how someone could enjoy it but it after a few times I was all about it. Then I started thinking about all the drugs I could have shot up and now I dont even think I could do stuff WITHOUT injecting it.


----------



## highbydesign

SWIM has a opiate problem. Yesterday SWIM was starting to just barely go into withdrawl so SWIM stupidly did about 2mg of generic subutex IV and this put SWIM into precipitated withdrawl. To get that nasty feeling to go away SWIM took 4mg more sub but sublingual this time and SWIM actually got high. Later that night SWIM scored some heroin and did 4 bags IV and got a very weird feeling not high not sick some where in the middle what a waste. SWIM then did a cotton shot this morning and has the question if SWIM takes 4mg sub right now will this put him into PW again? Since sub and opiates are currently in his system SWIM thinks that if he takes enough sub he will get the ceiling effect and get high. SWIM is not a regular sub user he rarely uses the stuff even when he has it but is trying to get clean. The only reason he did the dope last night is because it was owed to him and couldn't get cash instead. So SWIM hopes some experienced user on here might tell him how much sub to take in order to get high and avoid PW


----------



## cj

highbydesign said:


> SWIM has a opiate problem. Yesterday SWIM was starting to just barely go into withdrawl so SWIM stupidly did about 2mg of generic subutex IV and this put SWIM into precipitated withdrawl. To get that nasty feeling to go away SWIM took 4mg more sub but sublingual this time and SWIM actually got high. Later that night SWIM scored some heroin and did 4 bags IV and got a very weird feeling not high not sick some where in the middle what a waste. SWIM then did a cotton shot this morning and has the question if SWIM takes 4mg sub right now will this put him into PW again? Since sub and opiates are currently in his system SWIM thinks that if he takes enough sub he will get the ceiling effect and get high. SWIM is not a regular sub user he rarely uses the stuff even when he has it but is trying to get clean. The only reason he did the dope last night is because it was owed to him and couldn't get cash instead. So SWIM hopes some experienced user on here might tell him how much sub to take in order to get high and avoid PW


That's kind of a subjective question in my experience. Like technically as long as the sub is already on your receptors you shouldn't get PW. But since you already experienced it once in the last 24 hours I personally wouldn't want to push my luck. Especially if your thinking about taking a ceiling dose trying to get high. If I was you I wouldnt take more sub i would just enjoy not having to worry about scoring today. It's a day off the hamster wheel you know? You should be able to get high like normal tommorow afternoon at the latest. Cause if you ball out and take 12+ mg of sub there is no telling when the next time heroin will break through is could be 3+ days! And to me more is not better with sub. I keep my doses at around 1mg and am fairly stable. But yeah taking a huge dose of sub right now isn't likely to put you into PW but its not out of the question. Btw we don't SWIM here.


----------



## subotai

the feeling you get when youre sick and finally shoot up a bag

indescribable. im hopelessly addicted to heroin and have been for almost four years now, but god damn does it feel good sometimes


----------



## cj

subotai said:


> the feeling you get when youre sick and finally shoot up a bag
> 
> indescribable. im hopelessly addicted to heroin and have been for almost four years now, but god damn does it feel good sometimes


That's what my family will never understand. Just the pure fucking pleasure of the high.


----------



## jeebis

so last night i was on a fuckload of xanax and temazepam and told myself im done for good

right now im waiting onmy ride to go get a bun. fuck man lol.


----------



## The Chemist

Wow. 
Just did tar, for t,he second time- my first experience was a total waste, didnt get off at all- anyhow, i see what the hubbub is all about now! 
I feel amazing off of so little, I'm so itchy, I'm so warm, and the delicious nod. Its all here!

I see why it's so dangerous, but of course i would do it again.


----------



## cj

I think a gay guy is about to offer me money for sex. Is it bad that I am giving it real thought? Like I really really need money. Wtf is wrong with me bluelight?


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

It's only bad if you think it's bad.


----------



## cj

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> It's only bad if you think it's bad.


It's just like I'm not gay. Like I'm not against gays it's just not me. But I need the money so incredibly bad. Being on Xanax isn't helping the decision either. I doubt I'll go through with it but the thought I've sunk this low is a little scary.


----------



## southeast

^^ don't feel bad about it. We all sink low. Maybe try to get to some Valium and ween down if you're worried about getting to this point though. I've done dumb things for heroin... No sex or anything related but I'm not proud.


----------



## southeast

The Chemist said:


> Wow.
> Just did tar, for t,he second time- my first experience was a total waste, didnt get off at all- anyhow, i see what the hubbub is all about now!
> I feel amazing off of so little, I'm so itchy, I'm so warm, and the delicious nod. Its all here!
> 
> I see why it's so dangerous, but of course i would do it again.


Why is tar supposed to be dangerous? I'm already freaking out looking back on me doing it like there was no tomorrow.


----------



## LSDiesel

subotai said:


> the feeling you get when youre sick and finally shoot up a bag
> 
> indescribable. im hopelessly addicted to heroin and have been for almost four years now, but god damn does it feel good sometimes



The BEST SHOT is always going from sick to high. Going from sober to high is fun, and sick to sober is nice also (ie suboxone). but going from miserable to high is a bigger climb up


----------



## RaZkaL86

IMO the shot from sick to high would be the best but all I can manage is goin from sick to well....oh well...the time when you pull out the needle from your arm and sit still until the warm blanket rises from your stomach and it starts gurgling making all kinds of noises like it's sayin "ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!" and then the feeling of all feelings, the blessed RUSHHHHHHHH.....SIGH!!!!!!!!! Oh man, that's the fucking bessssst!!!!


----------



## The Chemist

southeast said:


> Why is tar supposed to be dangerous? I'm already freaking out looking back on me doing it like there was no tomorrow.



It's appeal mainly. That universal warm hug. I mean i have no tolerance anymore, so a gram could last me almost a month, because i can't do opiates all the time


----------



## subotai

yeah Im pretty much addicted to the needle at this point. Mainly because the two opiates I have access to (heroin, morphine) have shitty oral BA and Im not trying to snort anything anymore

now that I think about it, thats a total cop out, I just like the rush. 

Morphine pills give me a more intense rush than any bag of dope Ive ever gotten. Almost too much of a good thing. Your whole body is just like whoooooaaaaaa and its almost impossible to move. Heroin is so much more smooth. Your whole body is just like: ahhhhhhhhhh yes. 

sorry for the shitty descriptions but thats the best I could come up with

morphine: whoooooaaaaa man
heroin: ahhhhhhhhhh yes

jeebis so you have other people shoot you up right? is that a safety fear thing like do you not trust yourself with the needle? Its a feel thing, you just gotta pull back on the plunger a bit and if you see the blood streaming in youre good to go so long as you dont move the needle again. nothing more satisfying than just hitting a vein first time and pulling the thing out and just throwing it across the room when youre done with it. maybe Im the only one who does that because I saw in a movie once

thats my new excuse for why I do anything drug related: saw it in a movie once


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

shooting heroin sucks
ruins ya life mane
shooting ma is better anyway
not that i endorse that


----------



## The Chemist

Oh yeah i won't ever shoot. I know it'll become, "let's shoot everything is the only way"
I prefer snorting anyhow.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Me too. Although my nasal passages and lungs do not.


----------



## The Chemist

Yeah i prefer not to jam crazy amounts up there. I do need to quit smoking but if i continued to use it would again become a big habit too.
I stick to weed and oil mostly.


----------



## lovelust

Omg. I just THOUGHT I lost my four bags. I've only lost dope ONCE. It dissappeared btw the car and the walk to my room. You bet I retraced every step and continued months later "maybe it's here?". Lol. What a heart attack. My ex used to lose his gear all the time but he was an idiot. He was the type that needed a mommy saying "keys, wallet, cellphone? Got em all" all the damn time. Last week my guy threw the 6 bags I ordered in through my window and it landed ON THE WET FLOOR and got SOAKED. I was never SO mad at snow in my life. He replaced them for me but only could the next day. That was killer. Shit like that just doesn't happen to me, I don't let it lol. Getting ready to enjoy this four bag shot of pretty good stuff. Some people NEED to save some and have something in the morning. I'm the opposite, I save my best shot for night time.  When the world winds down, I'm relaxing, nothing to do or deal with , I can just nod off in peace. It's the best feeling of relaxation in existence.  So, nod squad, what's the biggest heart attack moment you've had with losing or almost losing your gear? Lol


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

I don't think i've technically ever lost shit, but when i'm faded i like to hide bags so when i'm running low or the city's hot and there's only garbage around, i've got some good ones stashed. Feels better than Christmas.


----------



## zephyrhigh

I only lose my washes never my shyt but I have found some before


----------



## jeebis

subotai said:


> yeah Im pretty much addicted to the needle at this point. Mainly because the two opiates I have access to (heroin, morphine) have shitty oral BA and Im not trying to snort anything anymore
> 
> now that I think about it, thats a total cop out, I just like the rush.
> 
> Morphine pills give me a more intense rush than any bag of dope Ive ever gotten. Almost too much of a good thing. Your whole body is just like whoooooaaaaaa and its almost impossible to move. Heroin is so much more smooth. Your whole body is just like: ahhhhhhhhhh yes.
> 
> sorry for the shitty descriptions but thats the best I could come up with
> 
> morphine: whoooooaaaaa man
> heroin: ahhhhhhhhhh yes
> 
> jeebis so you have other people shoot you up right? is that a safety fear thing like do you not trust yourself with the needle? Its a feel thing, you just gotta pull back on the plunger a bit and if you see the blood streaming in youre good to go so long as you dont move the needle again. nothing more satisfying than just hitting a vein first time and pulling the thing out and just throwing it across the room when youre done with it. maybe Im the only one who does that because I saw in a movie once
> 
> thats my new excuse for why I do anything drug related: saw it in a movie once



more or less i just dont like needles. i cant stick myself because im super squeamish with needles. if i do shoot i have other people hit me, the past 2 times ive copped i did it with a friend who stuck me because i happened to have a clean rig on me. typically when i have money i sniff. i like the longer high to be honest. and ive always been open to the idea of shooting but not the idea of needles, if hat makes sense. ive always had to have someone hit me, namelywhen i used to shoot opanas (  10mg ir's) and coke.


----------



## LSDiesel

jeebis, i would suggest looking away when you did get "hit" because the whole aspect of shooting up and watching yourself shoot up becomes like "drug porn"


----------



## subotai

yeah I hear that. I used to hate needles man, HATED EM. then I had to get blood drawn one day and I just remember sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office and I just got up when they called my name and was like "stop being a fucking pussy dude" and it just didnt seem to hurt after that. 

I had gotten morphine IVd in the hospital before though and I remember it to this day. shit might have ruined my life idk yet. just calling the nurse in every two hours for my alloted morphine. and I wasnt even hurting that bad (car accident) I just liked how it felt. It was the day Gaddafi got captured and killed in Libya, I remember watching CNN and trying to figure out whether to feel bad for him or just laugh.


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

just like to say
i shot a quarter gram of meth inadvertantly last friday
feltsogoodman
like FUCK heroin
datrush


----------



## southeast

The Chemist said:


> Yeah i prefer not to jam crazy amounts up there. I do need to quit smoking but if i continued to use it would again become a big habit too.
> I stick to weed and oil mostly.


Y'all don't like needles because you haven't learned about not wasting good drugs yet. 
Learn it.
Preach it.
Live it.


----------



## The Chemist

I'm fine with it, but i know it's not for me.


----------



## cj

subotai said:


> yeah I hear that. I used to hate needles man, HATED EM. then I had to get blood drawn one day and I just remember sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office and I just got up when they called my name and was like "stop being a fucking pussy dude" and it just didnt seem to hurt after that.
> 
> .



Yeah I used to be terrified of needles growing up. It's bad because now when I get blood drawn at the doctors office I can't help but watch the whole process. It probably outs me as a junky.


----------



## jeebis

idk. needles just dont appeal to me. i dont like the concept of jabbing something that may or may not be sterile directly into my bloodstream. i mean, fuck, i just copped maybe 5 minutes ago and have a bunch of alcohol pads/few micron filters/clean rigs in my desk (i always have them on hands for friends in need + i can legally carry needles + i dont judge heads like the pharmacists do), and yet i still just cut out a fat rail on my laptop. 

and my one connect is the man. he's actually a friend of mine (we were friends before his boyfriend started to sell dope), gets some killer raw, but lives a half hour south of me so i really never see him.....but he's finishing his degree at the college 3 blocks from my house this semester so homeboy will now deliver, especially when he has class on a friday. he just stopped by and for the price of 2 bags off the street he handed me a folded up 5 dollar bill (i needed change anyways) with enough little chunks of fun to equal a half bun of good shit. 

it's always a good sign when the rocks you get are rock solid. like, ive broken up ketamine, meth, and mda crystals that broke easier. 

feeling like a warm and fuzzy burrito wrapped up in my blanket right now and ive only sniffed a rail (and popped a few mgs of klonopin, and did some dabs of some jack herrer shatter....)

edit: and even better (although really kind of tragic), this guy was recently diagnosed with skin cancer (but not the really bad kind), so he wants me to start getting him specific strains of high quality weed for their cancer-fighting properties, and said evertime i do he will give me shit at cost....which means a gram of raw is now going to cost me less than an8th of weed. my plans to try and get clean seem to be flying out the window rather quickly....


----------



## southeast

^^ it isn't so bad. And if you use clean needles from the pharm or where ever, plus don't share you don't have anything to worry about.
Don't be a puss.
Get high.


----------



## jeebis

yea, dont call me a puss for making the conscious decision to not iv my heroin. kthxbai

and i just choose not to use the needle. im perfectly content sticking to my usual ROAs of sniffing, plugging (when theres a higher bioavailability than sniffing), and eating/sublingual. hell, the only things that I smoke these days are tobacco, weed, hash oil, and dmt.


----------



## subotai

I wish I could still snort dope tbh but I have a deviated septum and I can barely breathe out of it when I lay down so sleeping at night is the worst. I dont think it came about solely because of drugs since deviated septums can happen to anyone but I definitely didnt help the matter by snorting a bunch of drugs. 

funniest shit happened to me though. when I went to get my first and only suboxone script I told the Dr I had been using heroin and morphine pills I got from my "friend" and he goes 

"well your friend must know somebody with cancer because they dont usually prescribe morphine pills"

and I just laughed on the inside because my aunt did have cancer about 3 years ago and it left her all messed up from the chemo so she gets IR and ER morphine pills. the ERs are borderline useless but those IRs man, they pack a fucking punch. And the oral BA is so stupidly low its almost pointless to take them like that. she was snorting them for a while but I could tell her nose was getting fucked up from the powder and one night I randomly asked her if she had any needles I could use to shoot some bags I had gotten and she was like "Ive had three needles in my closet for over 5 months and was debating to ever use them but since you brought it up I think I will"

and I saw her like 3-4 days later and had ran out of dope and was feeling pretty shitty and she was like "dude you gotta try one of these" and I had never tried the IRs before but knew my brother had been snorting them but I felt weird asking her for drugs but I wasnt about to turn it down and it was basically the floodgates opened up and we both shot a 15mg ir up and told each other all the drugs we did and shit. the only downside to them is there's no legs, at all. you stop feeling that opiate feel after about 10-15 mins and just feel a slight buzz but the rush is really their best attribute


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

jeebis said:


> yea, dont call me a puss for making the conscious decision to not iv my
> heroin. kthxbai
> 
> and i just choose not to use the needle. im perfectly content sticking to my usual ROAs of sniffing, plugging (when theres a higher bioavailability than sniffing), and eating/sublingual. hell, the only things that I smoke these days are tobacco, weed, hash oil, and dmt.



+1
i find it absolutely ridiculous when a needle user tries to trivialize the habit of a sniffer. 
A habit is a habit.


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

i dont find it ridiculous at all
you can sniff literally double the dope to get as high as you would shooting, at least.
you aren't a bad addict if you're only sniffing it
you just havent been to the point yet.


----------



## cj

Well guys I'm strung out again. Overdrew My bank account and shit. Got kicked out of my cousins house after he found a bunch of rigs in my room. Crawled back to parents house. No job car broke down no money to fix it. Got subs but fuck they dont do much for the mental anguish. Shit is kinda fucked. I want to pack a backpack and move to philly, Baltimore, San Francisco, but I gotta save money first. If I'm gonna die a junky I at least want to do it all the way. Never been one for half measures. My parents are like rehab, god, Jesus and I'm like FUCK NO! I almost made it a year between horrible fuck ups. Almost.


----------



## subotai

Heroin use is heroin use. anyone who thinks that theyre somehow "more of a user" because they shoot up are usually the same type of people who think they are friends with their dealers and act like they know all about the legal system when in reality they just say "they cant do that man thats fuckin unconstitutional. I know my rights" over and over again

LSDMD you may be the most obnoxious person ive ever seen post in this thread just shut the fuck up dude nobody cares what you have to say or thinks your opinion has any kind of clout behind it.  

I see faggots in my drug classes who act like you all the time. Like 21 years old with a few phone numbers so they think they know everything about dope. just shut the fuck up. Ive robbed people I respect more than you


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

thats cool sub
idgaf
i dont do this bullshit anymore
have fun doing dope with your aunt
i'm sorry i'm not "from the street" as you are shim LOL


----------



## sweetjaaaane

if you are so over heroin, why do you keep posting in the HEROIN thread?
make zero sense


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

letting people know i'm done
you mad you cant get clean?


----------



## The Chemist

@Crimson: dude that's terrible but if you just keep on subs maybe some valium or kpins for a few days you'll straighten out!
At least scrape yourself together enough to whack out a job for a month or two n then book it, if that's what you want to do.

Just be safe!


----------



## jeebis

how can you say that someone doesn't have a bad habit if they're just sniffing? when you said that you need almost twice as much dope to get "equally intoxicated" (which is incredibly effected by psychological factors) you proved yourself wrong. i can get just as someone who shoots. i can get higher. i can also get "lower". 

tell me how sniffing 2 grams of very high quality NY powder a day for a year before i got my shit together (comparatively) isn't a bad habit? actually it isn't a habit. its a nasty fucking addiction. i used to post pictures of my pickups in previous threads. the regulars in this thread know that a) the chemicals i list that i have/use simultaneously is the truth and b) that i go through the trials and tribulations of addiction just as bad as those that shoot.

tl;dr: Suck it, Trebek. 

and my paycheck was shit this week because i didnt work last week. i was only able to grab a quarter of some killer Ft. Collins Cough that my friend in denver grew/shipped to me a couple days ago (he mailed it and let me transfer money to him upon arrival.) and a half gram of some raw. 

this raw was really fucking nice. it was a bunch of little, rock solid chunks. got me high as fuck, especially since my dude brought it to me at work, lol. but in my defense i hit my guy up to begin with to see if he was in the area because i hurt myself at work and could barely move around. he said he only had half grams bagged out, so i said fuck it and got high instead of getting pain-free.

now im just waiting on a phone call before i walk a few blocks to trade a .5g of weed for 5 mgs of klonopin lol

edit: 1000th post. fuck yea. celebratory bong pack of the ft collins cough and straight kief from my grinder since i dont have much else (except some rolls that im not gonna eat for no reason)


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

how can i say that?
because if you're still sniffing you havent gotten to the point of throwing caution and whatnot to the wind for the sake of getting higher by shooting.


----------



## jeebis

i kinda came off like a dick/keyboard cowboy there for a second...my bad.

different strokes for different folks, right? different experiences, different opinions.

lets just all nod the fuck out and get along, amiriteguis?????

edit: this post is proof that all the world needs is klonopin and weed and we would all be peaceful motherfuckers that are actively concerned about being a dick.....

also, i have come to the conclusion that close to a decade of heavy nasal drug use has seriously fucked my nose up (shocking, i know). nowadays the day after any sort of drug use my nose fucking HURTS. i can feel scabs and shit. it's kinda gross, actually. luckily im not a cokehead/methhead because that shit is caustic as a motherfucker, but i know heroin/pills/ketamine isn't much better (especially when they're all hcl salts.). i mean, i try what i can by doing post-drug use (normally like half hour-45 minutes after the last line) nasal flushes with saline solution, but that really can only go so far. but im kind of fucked since i have really bad gastrointestinal issues, so plugging is only a "sometimes snack", if you catch my drift, so im typically relegated to nasal-only use 9 times out of 10. ouch . i also have a sneaking suspicion that heroin it's self is what is causing most of the issues. the higher quality/purity of the heroin, the more my nose hurts. sniffing stamps cut to shit with inositol, b12, and diphenhydramine doesn't really phase me...but a half gram of some raw will make me cry the next day. i can't fucking win, yo.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Mine is destroyed as well. Besides that, i have also developed asthma. My lungs have to have an obnoxious amount of residue built up from constant continuous use.


----------



## jeebis

i guess im fortunate enough to not have asthma. but i can sometimes feel shit goin straight to my lungs.


----------



## cj

Yeah my nose is pretty fucked. All my friends have those cool little spoons to snort shit out of. I can't generate enough suction to get it out of the spoon anymore. Then my septum just feels paper thin like I could push a finger through it if I wanted too. I think it was all the nasty pills I used to snort. I used to snort adderal xr back in the day 8)


----------



## subotai

amen on the klonopin love jeebis

im going to take 1mg tomorrow morning and see if I can find a computer that needs to be fixed so I can get high now that my dealer has his phone again. im not a huge fan of cold copping when it's, well cold outside. no pun intended


----------



## The Chemist

So....I'm doing some figuring and i found a ride alllllll the way to OH. NJ is just a hop across PA, from there perhaps I'll finally see what this "oh the shit is everywhere, jerz go tha hardest" thing is about.


----------



## cj

The Chemist said:


> So....I'm doing some figuring and i found a ride alllllll the way to OH. NJ is just a hop across PA, from there perhaps I'll finally see what this "oh the shit is everywhere, jerz go tha hardest" thing is about.



Nice! I've never been to jersey but it was really easy to cop in Philly. Got some good shit too.


----------



## The Chemist

Yeah I'll prolly try Philly, too. that seems to get the most attention besides Baltimore. 

I ain't trying to come out of the east coast with no habit tho.


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

snip
so i just figure this might be a good thing to put in 
i dont consider myselg a user anymore, because i dont use at all.
so its not like i'm being like OH IM MR COOL GUY HEROINJ IM SO COOL CAUSE I SHOOT ODPE
that shit isnt cool to me anymore
hence why i quit using
speed i smuch more fun anyway if you're gonna inject hard drugs and risk death every time you use
cause speed wont kill you

and therush is unbeatable. phenominal.
for what its worth, that was my introduction to IV drugs. iwas curious since i had smoked meth a few times, and one night when i had been up for 2 or 3 days already, someone told me exactly what to ask for to buy needles on 420chan and i went and bought some, read getting off right, and hit myself the first time i stuck it in 
exceot the one thing i did wrong was make the speed way too dilute/too much water so i didnt catch the rush i was expecting


----------



## Erikmen

subotai said:


> Heroin use is heroin use. anyone who thinks that theyre somehow "more of a user" because they shoot up are usually the same type of people who think they are friends with their dealers and act like they know all about the legal system when in reality they just say "they cant do that man thats fuckin unconstitutional. I know my rights" over and over again



Yup. This is pretty much what it is. Totally agree with.


----------



## RaZkaL86

When I started using back in '87 it was intro'ed to me by snorting it. To me it was the way to go cause it's easy to just rip open a bag and just sniff away, bada boom bada bing!!! Then my buddy who gave me my first taste of dope was shooting up in front of me and I noticed how fast he felt it...like 10 seconds or so and I thought to myself "that seems like a better way to do it" but I was dead set on never using a spike. Don't remember if it was fear of needles which I think we all have when we're young or maybe it seemed to me like when you saw a pic or maybe watching the news or movies that when a user OD's it was always that they showed him or her dead with the needle still dangling from their arm...as if shooting it was a guaranteed OD just waiting. Then in '97 I moved into a room in a basement of a house where they sold dope on the second floor...how convenient that was, heh heh!!! So my dope buddies would cop then come down to my place to get high. Well of course there were days when I had no dough or any way to get some and I'm sittin there sick as fuck hoping someone would come to cop and maybe come by to get off and maybe help a brutha out and cure me. One day my buddy showed up but he had copped just one bag and he was WD'ing big time. He saw how bad I was and said "I'll cure you but you gotta do it my way...which was shooting it!! I didn't use needles at all then but I was sooo desperate I said fuck it...let's do it... He had to split a measly bag (at the time they were $15 if I remember correctly) so he drew up a 40 of water and dissolved it and we each drew up a 20. He had to hit me cause I had no clue how to do it; I remember being scared I was going to OD (on half a bag, haha) but I didn't know. I felt the difference instantly...very different from sniffing and waiting fo it to kick in.  After that day every time someone came to my room to get off there was a bag charge and most of them used needles so I had them hit me up. Sooooo of course my fear of needles disappeared and my ROA became IV after like 10 years of sniffing. Have contracted Hep-C and knocked it out back in 2009 after a year and a half of the Pegasys treatment. Luckily I tolerated it with hardly any side effects (just a rash around my hairline) that went away after a few months after finishing it. But it's back again because I'm an idiot who shared a rig wit a friend in a desperate time... In closing after this long story I will only do dope with a needle cause as another doper put it : when u snort u probably get about 60-80% of it in your bloodstream the rest gets left in the snot in your nose and the hairs inside your nostrils...if u shoot you get 100% of it....anyways that's what I heard but it sounds logical...sooooo to each their own, whatever floats your boat...haha


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

jeebis said:


> i guess im fortunate enough to not have asthma. but i can sometimes feel shit goin straight to my lungs.


me too! Sometimes i fucking even exhale a little dust. Crazy!


crimsonjunk said:


> Yeah my nose is pretty fucked. All my friends have those cool little spoons to snort shit out of. I can't generate enough suction to get it out of the spoon anymore.  8)


I know what you mean! At shows and stuff my buddies will dump out their bags on the spot on the hand between their thumb and their pointer finger and just sniff right from there with no straw or anything. Not me. I cant even do key bumps.


----------



## The Chemist

Hahaha so I'm walking around about to go to the shelter, this dude pulls over, offers me a place for the night, gives me $40 and ordered pizza. 

I didn't have to do a thing i was just there. 

Be here now.


----------



## jeebis

i also just never saw the big deal about shooting. yes, the rush is awesome (i actually prefer the rush of iv oxy, tbh. iv opana is the end all/be all in my book. never rigged up a dilaudid though.....), but it has no legs to it. within an hour im more or less baseline. atleast with sniffing there's the 2-6 minutes between line to beginning to feel/5-15 minute come up/ then im high for a good 45 min-hour/ then nodding for a few hours after. 

and im out of klonopin. and everything but weed. so i found a bottle of Bacardi 8year dark rum so im just doing shots/sipping a rum and ginger while smoking some bud.

i should have gone to work today but my anxiety is out of control. i opted not to. if i work tomorrow i can still get shit this weekend. but fuck. i get so guilty that i dont go to work, but i feel so anxious waking up that i just cant work. it's all because i refuse to use drugs other than weed at work

i swear if i could afford to have a little bit of dope at work all day id be awesome....

edit: OH NO THE BLIZZARD IS COMING ZOMGZOMGZOMG!!!! everyone is freaking out because NYC is getting SLAMMED but i live like 2 hours north. we're only supposed to get like 14 inches, which really aint shit, but will make the mornings suck. decided to stock up on some more klonopin instead of dope for the storm. figured its the lesser of two evils.


----------



## zephyrhigh

Just want to say my daughters 4th was yesterday and I proudly took her to the circus and did not use on her day subs was all.... Just had to brag big accomplishment for me..... My baby is always first but being not suck for her is a must but staying on subs n deciding to drop it all over the realization that shes getting older and won't risk not spending and enjoying every minute possible with her and cutting out the dope is the only way to fully do it for her!!! Wish me luck!


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Congratulations.
Non-users just don't understand that waking up and deciding not to use, and actually following through with it is a huge fucking accomplishment.


----------



## Downtowndude

Anyone in the 407?


----------



## The Chemist

Fucking free Chipotle today!

What r u fuks getting into?


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Snooooooooooooow Day! Not a damn thing.


----------



## jeebis

i live in ny and i still had to work. fucking blows.

on the plus side when i went to see my weed guy, he goes "look man, youve been hitting me up for a couple years now. just wanted to let you know i have qps for ____ and half pounds for ______"

i looked it up, and the prices he gave me are WELL below colorado medical prices. this just made my spring/rest of winter really interesting.

so cheap, actually, that i gave up my dope money for today for a Hefty bag full of buds. i was amazed. one of the few things i love more than heroin lol.


----------



## The Chemist

Whoooooo!
Just got a free dime of tar. 

But to get another. 

Nod squad!


----------



## jeebis

so i decided to have my friend hit me with2 bags of FIRE we just got
 y'all know i dont shoot, but this shit fucking knocked me right on my ass. right. on. my. ass.

and somehow in my heroin stupor i finagled 6.5 free grams of some random strain off some random dude. i have no recollection of that happenin lol


----------



## somnilicious

Downtowndude said:


> Anyone in the 407?



407 right here....


----------



## cj

205 represent


----------



## Eternally_Sm@cked

Uhhhh

I just had to move from Atlanta to Texas. It fucking sucks being somewhere you don't know ANYONE. I can't find a single fucking opiate anywhere. The worst part is since I am close to Mexico, I am SURE there is at least some tar nearby. What a fucking drag. I envy all of you.


----------



## TheRapperGoneBad

208 and we dry as a mother fuckaaaaaa 
No open air delivery any thang all run ins a middle mEn.


----------



## Jabberwocky

shot 2 G's about 5 days ago; now took Vivitrol shot today and now longer using dope. lets see how this all plays out but pray for me peeps; lets see if the Vivi works and how well it works. I needed this to STOP; I may not be dope sick like I once was but I was still UNABLE TO FUCKING STOP USING! I came out of detox clean and would not using daily but every 2-3 days I would pick up the needle again and use it as an excuse to use. 2-3 days would pass and I would tell myself I need to stick a PIN IN MYSELF ASAP! its sick, isnt it? sure, I wasnt dope sick but the mine would start racing and I would feel I need to stick something in me in order to feel "better", ya know!? lets see how this all plays out and if I am feeling "normal" for ONCE!


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> shot 2 G's about 5 days ago; now took Vivitrol shot today and now longer using dope. lets see how this all plays out but pray for me peeps; lets see if the Vivi works and how well it works. I needed this to STOP; I may not be dope sick like I once was but I was still UNABLE TO FUCKING STOP USING! I came out of detox clean and would not using daily but every 2-3 days I would pick up the needle again and use it as an excuse to use. 2-3 days would pass and I would tell myself I need to stick a PIN IN MYSELF ASAP! its sick, isnt it? sure, I wasnt dope sick but the mine would start racing and I would feel I need to stick something in me in order to feel "better", ya know!? lets see how this all plays out and if I am feeling "normal" for ONCE!



Vivitrol will stop you from getting high for like a month but it's not going to do shit for your cravings. Get into some counseling or something man.


----------



## jeebis

holy fuck. Upstate NY has some serious shit going around. i just grabbed a half bun because my dealer said not to get a full because there's already been 4 deaths that he knows of


it is legit china white. legit white pharmaceutical grade heroin. not fent (i hit it with my chemical test kit. morphine shows but fent and the analogues wont react). i did one bag nasally and began to puke and passed out. 

fucking amazing. dangerous, but fucking amazing.


----------



## axl blaze

The Chemist said:


> So....I'm doing some figuring and i found a ride alllllll the way to OH. NJ is just a hop across PA, from there perhaps I'll finally see what this "oh the shit is everywhere, jerz go tha hardest" thing is about.



what part of Ohio are you hitting up?


----------



## The Chemist

@ axl:  Canton, close to Pittsburgh. Gonna b there for a few days then around Philly (about) to hop a train that will take me to FL, going to the Ocala gathering there.


If i make a good amt of $ I'll get some bags in Philly i guess...I'll b in the right Spot looks like


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> Vivitrol will stop you from getting high for like a month but it's not going to do shit for your cravings. Get into some counseling or something man.


I have to do counseling anyway, man.. w/ the shot you have to see a counselor and go to a meeting once a month for both; you can do as many meetings as you want but we'll see. its been a week since I last used and I feel OK; I use Phenibut which is another type drug and that always KILLS me dope feelings but we'll see how all goes. hoping to stay away from IT ALL but who the fuck knows! been down this road many times and always had feelings to shoot; even when using methadone and on 95MG I'd still shoot into a vein just for the fuck of it and waste a gram just to waste money and feel nothing; I'd give away $100 like a fucking joke. man. I think of all the money I wasted on dope and it makes me sick.


----------



## subotai

if youre going to philly just go to Fairhill man. most people will just say "kensington" but that's actually a somewhat loose term

Fairhill is like 80% Puerto Ricans. 15% african american, irrelevant rest.

anywhere from Broad st to Front st for West-East

Lehigh to Allegheny for South - North

at that least that's what I read about it in People magazine.... there's certain spots better than others but I cant tell you that. I mean I could, but at the same time I couldnt. So im not going to

or just pick a letter between C and F and walk up and down either way off Allegheny if you dont mind black people

your call


----------



## Dopedog613

What's going on in Newark nowadays? Anything out there.


----------



## Dopedog613

What about Elizabeth


----------



## Dopedog613

Need some help with Newark, Elizabeth or plainfield open air spots. Pm me please. Went there the other day and can't find any.


----------



## prannie

Anything in bumfuck Lancaster, PA?  I just moved here & no clue where to go!!


----------



## subotai

Lancaster is pretty much equidistant from Philly to the east and Baltimore from the south so that would be youre call as to which one you went to

or just get in touch with the Amish Mafia (joking. shit is totally fabricated for TV)


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

no one hits baltimore from lanc. In lanc city, theres plenty of dope to be had, some of it just straight philly bags and some of it locally bagged.
i used to get dope from people who would get bulk from dudes outta lanc who would bring it out here (30 minutes). Or thats what they told me when i was waiting with them, that dudes were coming from lanc with the reup
if you know what youre doing you should be able to find it on the street cold copping. York, Harrisburg, Reading (especially reading...), and Coatesville all have a heroin scene and if you know what youre doing cold copping is possible, idk about coatesville open air, but york harrisburg and reading you can cold cop in the right spots and at the right time
if you know basic spanish and know how to ask for heroin in spanish, you should be able to get some bags if youre in the hood.
ive been in the hood in lanc for church, but i can attest to the existence of a hood in lanc and i would be surprised if i couldnt get ahold of some bags if you dropped me there during the day, it had all the hallmarks of the ghetto where drugs are sold so.
i have a friend who used to live in ephrata, and the bags he gave me were decent when we chilled last year when we were out of rehab. Not heat but decent. Not as good as what i was getting but i was getting unusually potent bags at the time. Rolex.


----------



## porkchops

^^Retreat at Lancaster County?


----------



## Jabberwocky

too bad you can just get great dope right on the INTERNET, lol. if only it was that easy and this was 1998 again.


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

Thats just my assessment of the heroin situation in that area.
 i know people out there and ive been there...
i am just of the school of thought that it isnt all that difficult to figure out how to find dope in the hood if you have been using a little bit and know what type of people to look for and how you ask someone for it
i wont elaborate past that though
i quit doing dope more than 6 Months ago


----------



## subotai

sweet dude nobody fucking cares about how you got clean my god you suck


----------



## Jabberwocky

people should sell dope in the middle of target isles. would be great!


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

ive bought heroin in a ctown before
Walking down the aisle with flaco
Shima y so mad bro? Can you quit?
If you get arrested at target for using in the bathroom...you might wanna quit...
that being said
my friend got beat by this junkie kid i know for 4 Bags. I wanna do some speed and get him his money back, bag up some coffeemate and sell it to said assclown
i dont like it when people beat my friends because they dont have me to look out for them/cop for them anymore. I told him not to trust white people/buy dope off white people EVER.


----------



## subotai

yeah im sure things would have turned out differently for your friend if you were there

im mad that when society pictures the average heroin user, they picture you

people like you give all heroin users a bad rep because you are annoying as shit and equally unintelligent. only people who still wish they could use brag about how long theyve been clean


----------



## Birc0014

bwhahahah oh shit diddley snap, heroin users give heroin a bad name .


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

Yeah shima im so jealous of you and your using one or two bags at a time
get real
you know what i had started doing occasionally since i came home, until a girl who cares about me made it clear that she didnt approve and that if i wanted to win her back, i couldnt do it anymore




thats how i roll now if i am doing hard drugs and injecting shit mane. But i quit that as well due to a girl being more important to me than getting to do that shit once in a while, so ive been off that for like a month.
you couldnt even afford to buy that much speed, .7 less than when i first got the sack.
heroin isnt cool, and buying heroin off minorities doesnt make you tough/from the street/about shit, mr 2 bag baller. You dont even have dope flow and you act like you know everything about heroin and use a lot and shit, and you tried heroin what, less than a year ago? I SHOT heroin for 2 and a half years, so i know a little more about shootin dope than you do
let me know when you can handle more than 2 bags and can keep yourself out of retard shit like getting arrested for using in a target bathroom, broke ass motherfucker.
see since you dont have dope flow for shit, you dont know what its like to actually use enough to where it gets really expensive
Its hilarious
you have like a wannabe junkie mentality and its funny, cause you arent good enough at making dope happen to even have a tolerance.
like seriously, you act like you have been using mad long, are mad experienced and shit, when you cant even afford to use enough to develop a tolerance.


----------



## jumpman23

Just checking where this post goes.  Trying to pm Chingy. What up Snellville?!? In Lawrenceville myself.  We should get up.


----------



## subotai

lol


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

So are you banned from target?
i knew dudes banned from walmart but thats cause they could handle their diesel well enough to need to be boostin shit
stick with snorting a bag at a time.
lmz>shima


----------



## subotai

lol its funny because you actually care


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

Nah you just come at lmz and thats what happens.


----------



## subotai

rofl its easy to do 5 bags at once when you live in bumblefuck pennsylvania but im sure you were the best heroin user to ever live

get off my dick dude I literally never said word one to you and you just posted several paragraphs about my life unprovoked 

sweet dude

you think ive never done meth bro? no comment


----------



## subotai

id correct more of your inaccuracies but I dont really give a shit


----------



## EyeLick

*Run?*

Never having been in any kind of treatment- methadone, rehab, or otherwise, since becoming addicted- I am unfamiliar what a commonly used term means. When people talk about being on a "run" - how long does a person have to stop using for it not to be considered the same "run" anymore? Just a couple of days, detoxing completely, a couple of weeks, something else?


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

subotai said:


> yeah im sure things would have turned out differently for your friend if you were there
> 
> im mad that when society pictures the average heroin user, they picture you
> 
> people like you give all heroin users a bad rep because you are annoying as shit and equally unintelligent. only people who still wish they could use brag about how long theyve been clean


You never said word one to me?
You think i havent had philly bags mad times. Philly bags half the time are nothing special. I knew dudes making bags that id take over 90% of the shit in philly. I stuck buying doublewides/NJ bags.
anyway
lmz 1 shima 0
Thank you for visiting target


----------



## cj

EyeLick said:


> Never having been in any kind of treatment- methadone, rehab, or otherwise, since becoming addicted- I am unfamiliar what a commonly used term means. When people talk about being on a "run" - how long does a person have to stop using for it not to be considered the same "run" anymore? Just a couple of days, detoxing completely, a couple of weeks, something else?



At least a month I would say. I usually define my runs by rehab trips but Ymmv.


----------



## subotai

ernergerd doublwide bags look how cool I am you guys

doublewide bags to go with your doublewide figure you portly pussy

I bought these bags this morning while you were cupping my balls


----------



## subotai

youre pretty fuckin fat for someone who claimed to do heroin and meth a lot


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

Because i quit using, retard. Thats what happens when you go from strung out to clean. I was never bad with tweak, i didnt claim to be.
clarifying that.
but i guess you wouldnt know with your massive 6 months of heroin use.
one bag baller.


----------



## Jabberwocky

subotai said:


> youre pretty fuckin fat for someone who claimed to do heroin and meth a lot



funny you said that cuz its what I think when I see people at clinics or whatever telling me they are coming off a 1-2yr run, blah blah. I am only 160-165 now but when I was running even harder and just using daily I was down to 145. the money went all to dope then I'd be lucky to eat cereal later that night, ha.


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

He hasnt seen me in a long time anyway.
i primarily would shoplift candy.
dope munchies.


----------



## subotai

thats the beauty of archiving this shit, ive been posting in these threads since early 2012, the main reason I joined bluelight was to post in this thread. 

I dont have to validify my heroin usage to you or anyone for that matter, so I dont know what you expect me to say


----------



## LSDMDMA&AMP

Ive said my arguments mane.
Now
im off to bigger and better things


----------



## oldhippytony

EyeLick said:


> Never having been in any kind of treatment- methadone, rehab, or otherwise, since becoming addicted- I am unfamiliar what a commonly used term means. When people talk about being on a "run" - how long does a person have to stop using for it not to be considered the same "run" anymore? Just a couple of days, detoxing completely, a couple of weeks, something else?


The run itself is a stretch of time when I'm getting high on a specific drug (heroin for me) pretty much non-stop.  Usually comes to an abrupt halt when: incarcerated; run out of cash; connections dry up; just decide it's time for a break.  The run resumes when I start using heroin again. My experience has shown the duration of the break period (when using something other than heroin ... suboxone or methadone perhaps ... or nothing at all) varying from just a few days to 17 years.


----------



## cj

I broke down today and bought a bag. I am pretty faded right now. Shot up and smoked some good bud and i am feeling real good. Oh heroin why must you feel so damn good! 

Team nod assemble! Haha that felt felt damn good to type. Hope everyone is getting fat bags, clean rigs, and good sex!


----------



## zephyrhigh

Just bought 3 bout the size of 1 fat one... quality= did I just shoot water...


----------



## chefman

That sux


----------



## jeebis

i leave this thread for a minute, and i come back to so much bitching. my lord. it's like having kids (thank god i dont actually have kids, lol)

so there were a shitload of recent heroin deaths coming from my guys lately due to the bags being a 60/40 mix of fent to dope. goddamn amazing bags, but damn. i miss them. but i "should" have 40 dollars, 4 mgs of klonopin, a fridge full of beer, and a bunch of weed. my atm account is already overdrawn so im trying to last until friday but it's getting hard. fuck man. fuck. i feel like that 40 dollars is gonna become a tiny amount of heroin and me begging someone for a clean rig lol. i've also beeing doing IM shots of powder lately. not bad, tbh.


----------



## Jabberwocky

jeebis said:


> i leave this thread for a minute, and i come back to so much bitching. my lord. it's like having kids (thank god i dont actually have kids, lol)
> 
> so there were a shitload of recent heroin deaths coming from my guys lately due to the bags being a 60/40 mix of fent to dope. goddamn amazing bags, but damn. i miss them. but i "should" have 40 dollars, 4 mgs of klonopin, a fridge full of beer, and a bunch of weed. my atm account is already overdrawn so im trying to last until friday but it's getting hard. fuck man. fuck. i feel like that 40 dollars is gonna become a tiny amount of heroin and me begging someone for a clean rig lol. i've also beeing doing IM shots of powder lately. not bad, tbh.



how do you know the mix of fent/dope? I am hearing here in Boston we are getting crazy mixes ourselves due to all recent deaths/OD's but aside from being white I really dont know the mix/percentage at all. I've shot it and felt much different on barely anything, or w/ me mixing it w/ the white/brownish, but never could really TELL, ya know?! sure, a G of that will last me 2 days VS 10 minutes but its something I've used/mixed w/ other dope - make sense to even do that? cuz its what I've been doing when I have "killer" shit. I always need to be careful cuz I usually shoot 1/2 G's to start; sometimes if I get 3 4's for 100 ill just shoot a 4 but even that is something to worry about from all these recent deaths I hear. I tend to think that maybe the person wasnt a heavy user, but thats a common thought in a junkie, but maybe the dope/fent is that strong it really is dropping people.


----------



## cj

You guys be careful! fent bags are nothing to play with.


----------



## chinky

i got that itch..


----------



## Erikmen

crimsonjunk said:


> You guys be careful! fent bags are nothing to play with.



^ Yes, agree with you totally!!


----------



## sweetjaaaane

chinky said:


> i got that itch..



Same here brothaaa

five days clean thanks to lope dosing and still fiending


----------



## The Chemist

Team nod:

I just did a 7.5mg opana and a 15mg Roxi.

NOD SQUAAAAAD!


----------



## zephyrhigh

Been on a h binge these past few weeks way way way more than my usual run..... Too much money spent and time wasted..... Income tax should come soon!!!


----------



## Jabberwocky

The Chemist said:


> Team nod:
> 
> I just did a 7.5mg opana and a 15mg Roxi.
> 
> NOD SQUAAAAAD!



man, I miss the days where I could take this type dosage and nod! I remember in my teens taking 5MG methadone pills and noddddddddddddding.


----------



## jeebis

BostonBrownTown said:


> how do you know the mix of fent/dope? I am hearing here in Boston we are getting crazy mixes ourselves due to all recent deaths/OD's but aside from being white I really dont know the mix/percentage at all. I've shot it and felt much different on barely anything, or w/ me mixing it w/ the white/brownish, but never could really TELL, ya know?! sure, a G of that will last me 2 days VS 10 minutes but its something I've used/mixed w/ other dope - make sense to even do that? cuz its what I've been doing when I have "killer" shit. I always need to be careful cuz I usually shoot 1/2 G's to start; sometimes if I get 3 4's for 100 ill just shoot a 4 but even that is something to worry about from all these recent deaths I hear. I tend to think that maybe the person wasnt a heavy user, but thats a common thought in a junkie, but maybe the dope/fent is that strong it really is dropping people.



thats what my dealer told me. and i believe him because the guy that he works for is the source that bags it out, and he told me for safety reasons. my friend that i normally cop with's girlfriend had to be narcan'd one night after shooting 2. it was a pharmaceutical-looking white powder and the bags were really fucking small, but i damn near overdosed sniffing one bag when i wasnt prepared. i hit it with my test kit i use for mdma and such because it will tell you the presence of heroin and it DID test positive.....

but now the bags are back to the usual light brown fire. 

and my god the sweet relief i feel right now. last night i saw one of my favorite jam  bands at a local theater with my friend and took a fuckton of lsd and mushroom chocolates beforehand, brought my vape pen full of some amazing shatter, got piss drunk due to cheap beer specials, and we found a half gram of some AMAZING mdma at the show. i had nothing to come down with once we got back to my house except a 12 pack of sam adams, some homegrown northern lights weed, a half gram of shatter, and a gram of the FINEST honeycomb wax ive encountered.....but ive been broke until maybe half an hour ago when my friend paid me back the money he owed me so i am just now getting heroin. luckily i was able to sniff 2 bags before the show yesterday so i wasnt sick while tripping, but still. 

that + calling in a favor from my dealer = me sitting here with 5 bags and feeling a million times better. maybe i can sleep before i have to get up for work at 6am tomorrow....


----------



## LSDiesel

sweetjaaaane said:


> Same here brothaaa
> 
> five days clean thanks to lope dosing and still fiending



what has your lope dosing been like? did you taper? did you still have withdrawals present?


----------



## sweetjaaaane

I started with like fifty mg and tapered down with some symptoms present but definitely toned em down. I get the irregular temp/ hot n cold sweats as well as the lethargy and aches the worst so there was some of that. I tapered down to twenty mg on the fifth day and day 6 took some kratom for the first time and just gave me a weird headache.. 

And then caved and copped on the seventh day  but I'm leaving for a month or so long trip tomorrow so I just rele wanted to treat myself before I have weeks of sobriety. But yeah with lope I found you just have to taper kinda fast as soon as ur over the hump of the initial four days or so and then u more easily avoid experiencing lope withdrawal on top of the remaining opiate detox symptoms


----------



## cj

I've been waiting on my PC for almost 30 minutes in a gas station parking lot. To make matters worse I'm in a lifted up jeep rubicon that attracts lots of attention. I swear this guy wants me to get arrested.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

I agree with the comment about philly bags not being anything special (especially when you got the nj hook).  Bags are double the size and half the price.
Anyway, bad batch going in here- over a dozen ODs and 3 deaths over a weekend.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

LSDMDMA&AMP:  dont waste your energy arguing with subutoi. its pointless.
One time he told me i couldnt be a junkie because im too negative, and that when he's high he's the happiest person in the world.


----------



## cj

crimsonjunk said:


> I've been waiting on my PC for almost 30 minutes in a gas station parking lot. To make matters worse I'm in a lifted up jeep rubicon that attracts lots of attention. I swear this guy wants me to get arrested.



He stopped answering his phone so I decided he wasn't coming after an hour of waiting. So I get 20 minutes down the road before he calls me back bitching that I'm not at the spot. I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself so bad but of course I was apologetic and met him somewhere else. He has the best quality product I can get by a mile but his customer service has gotten stupid bad. When I first started using him 15 months ago I never waited more than 15 minutes at the spot. He has just gradually gotten worse over time. The last 3 times we met I have waited for more than 45 minutes. That's dangerous for both of us but he gets all offended whenever I bring stuff like that up. SMH dope boys and ther god complex.


----------



## chinky

how far is bham from atl?


----------



## Smoky

Yup yup! I remember that. Once they know you'll need them no matter what they get to chose the spot to meet, and delivering the drugs stops happening. That's why I  used to do geographics with dealers so I wasn't as dependent on them. Gives them less power and less money
Either that or they are using more than you are. LOL


----------



## zephyrhigh

Chinky it depends on what part of bham u go too but about 3 1/2-4 hours


----------



## cj

chinky said:


> how far is bham from atl?



Around 2 and 1/2 hours


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

^ yes. Its only around 150 miles.


----------



## jeebis

chink, the question you should be asking is far is it to new york.


----------



## somnilicious

Smoky said:


> Yup yup! I remember that. Once they know you'll need them no matter what they get to chose the spot to meet, and delivering the drugs stops happening. That's why I  used to do geographics with dealers so I wasn't as dependent on them. Gives them less power and less money
> Either that or they are using more than you are. LOL



Any dealer that lets you pick the drop spot is a fucking idiot.. You never want to let the customer control the meet because it is to easy to set you up with a controlled buy. He is probably taking more time because he has gotten more customers now. Dealers don't all think they are Gods, addicts are just impatient(I get it.. I am also an addict) and expect a dealer to just snap his fingers and appear with dope anytime they get money. 

When I dealt years ago.. I would have like 10 people waiting for me in different parking lots. Almost every single one of them called me every 5 mins. It was the most annoying fucking thing in the world. Especially when I would be trying to conduct business and watch out for the cops, while also being paranoid as fuck. 

The phone never stops ringing from sun up to sundown and the customers didn't give two fucks about me either as long as I brought their dope. People forget that dealers have lives to. Try being woken up at 6,7 in the morning by a bunch of impatient addicts, when you stayed up all night because God forbid you wanted to have a little fun yourself. Some of them may work other jobs, go to school, have to eat, maybe have kids to take care of etc, etc...

Hopefully if he is smart he sets up the spot scopes it out before arriving and makes you follow him to see if you are being followed. This all takes time and when people call over and over again asking "where you at?" It is annoying as fuck especially when you are trying to remember every person that you are meeting and where the meet spots are.

Chances are if he is taking over an hour to meet you he probably wants to lose a couple of costumers anyways. Once it takes that long to get to a spot he needs to get runners but that is a whole nouther world of trouble and worry for the dealer. Always being paranoid that somebody is going to drop the dime on you is scary as hell. Remember before even bringing addicts their dope a dealers number one job is staying out of jail..

 lmao... Customer service. I don't miss the job at all. I am a lot happier working out in the burning sun with a welder and long sleeves on so I won't get Molten metal on my arm.. That is just to show you how annoying and worrying the job became. There is a different side to every coin. You have to put yourself in their shoes.


----------



## chinky

45 min would be cooler


----------



## somnilicious

chinky said:


> 45 min would be cooler



30 mins would be cooler but I had such a large client base that I eventually couldn't control the amount of time it took. I finally decided to take on a few runners but that turned out to be a disaster. I got robbed a couple of times. I got bored started snorting coke and shooting speedballs. I would get all tweeked out and stare out the peephole and windows with a loaded .45. decided to Lay off the pedico. 

Then things started looking up. I joined a local Iron workers union. Went to school twice a week and started working. I was I hooked on my product but that wasn't a problem at this point. Got a girl and I was loving life. Then one morning I woke up and there were empty bags scattered everywhere and my girlfriend was  blue and she had blood and vomit coming out of her nose and mouth. It was one of the worst days of my life. 

I immediately handed everything over to my cousin, who was my supplier and dropped out of that life. Several months later two of my cousins and their whole side of the operation got taken down.


----------



## jjones0207

somnilicious said:


> 30 mins would be cooler but I had such a large client base that I eventually couldn't control the amount of time it took. I finally decided to take on a few runners but that turned out to be a disaster. I got robbed a couple of times. I got bored started snorting coke and shooting speedballs. I would get all tweeked out and stare out the peephole and windows with a loaded .45. decided to Lay off the pedico.
> 
> Then things started looking up. I joined a local Iron workers union. Went to school twice a week and started working. I was I hooked on my product but that wasn't a problem at this point. Got a girl and I was loving life. Then one morning I woke up and there were empty bags scattered everywhere and my girlfriend was  blue and she had blood and vomit coming out of her nose and mouth. It was one of the worst days of my life.
> 
> I immediately handed everything over to my cousin, who was my supplier and dropped out of that life. Several months later two of my cousins and their whole side of the operation got taken down.



Wow... life is crazy like that. Timing...its everything.

I am guessing ur gf was shooting? (assuming if they were stamp bags her nose would have probably clogged before she got to that point).

My gf got a very small habit not to long ago, and I had to put my foot down. Tell her she couldn't be getting physically dependent on it, so no more for her until she gets straight. Kind of a hypocrite move but its all out of love lol.
It does tear you apart seeing addiction, whether it be physical or mental, from a 3rd person view. You can almost view them as seeing yourself.


----------



## somnilicious

jjones0207 said:


> Wow... life is crazy like that. Timing...its everything.
> 
> I am guessing ur gf was shooting? (assuming if they were stamp bags her nose would have probably clogged before she got to that point).
> 
> My gf got a very small habit not to long ago, and I had to put my foot down. Tell her she couldn't be getting physically dependent on it, so no more for her until she gets straight. Kind of a hypocrite move but its all out of love lol.
> It does tear you apart seeing addiction, whether it be physical or mental, from a 3rd person view. You can almost view them as seeing yourself.



Actually as far as I know she had never even used before, though she obviously had access to it... I never saw the signs and I think I would have fucking known.. So many unanswered questions haunt me. To this day I just don't know why or what happened.. She would snort coke sometimes but I had gone to bed early that night. When I woke up I found straws and I can only guess that she snorted some to go to sleep after doing some coke. Maybe she snorted to much thinking it wasn't working and then the coke wore off because there was straws, residue and 3 bags of dope. I mean who snorts 3 bags if they have never done it before..

I have felt guilty my whole life for this incident. So if you introduced your girl to dope you then you have many good reasons to try and interdict.. I wish I could go back in time.. I feel like a murderer. Her mom even slapped me in the face at the funeral and told me I killed her little girl..


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

somnilicious said:


> 30 mins would be cooler but I had such a large client base that I eventually couldn't control the amount of time it took. I finally decided to take on a few runners but that turned out to be a disaster. I got robbed a couple of times. I got bored started snorting coke and shooting speedballs. I would get all tweeked out and stare out the peephole and windows with a loaded .45. decided to Lay off the pedico.
> 
> Then things started looking up. I joined a local Iron workers union. Went to school twice a week and started working. I was I hooked on my product but that wasn't a problem at this point. Got a girl and I was loving life. Then one morning I woke up and there were empty bags scattered everywhere and my girlfriend was  blue and she had blood and vomit coming out of her nose and mouth. It was one of the worst days of my life.
> 
> I immediately handed everything over to my cousin, who was my supplier and dropped out of that life. Several months later two of my cousins and their whole side of the operation got taken down.



I dont think chinky cares if you took 30 mins or 45 mins to 'meet your clients'.
Although, i do believe that chinky meant 45mins from bham to atl would be cooler.

Edit: let me rephrase- i wasnt trying to say that i dont think chinky gives a fuck about your story...   What i was trying to say us that i dont even think he was referencing you in the slightest.


----------



## somnilicious

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> I dont think chinky cares if you took 30 mins or 45 mins to 'meet your clients'.
> Although, i do believe that chinky meant 45mins from bham to atl would be cooler.
> 
> Edit: let me rephrase- i wasnt trying to say that i dont think chinky gives a fuck about your story...   What i was trying to say us that i dont even think he was referencing you in the slightest.



Got ya... who mostly controls the street level trade in ATL and Bham? Blancos, negros, chicanos, boniqua or dominicanos?


----------



## somnilicious

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> I dont think chinky cares if you took 30 mins or 45 mins to 'meet your clients'.
> Although, i do believe that chinky meant 45mins from bham to atl would be cooler.
> 
> Edit: let me rephrase- i wasnt trying to say that i dont think chinky gives a fuck about your story...   What i was trying to say us that i dont even think he was referencing you in the slightest.



Got ya... who mostly controls the street level trade in ATL and Bham? Blancos, negros, chicanos or boniqua,dominicanos?


----------



## zephyrhigh

Bham puro moyos!


----------



## somnilicious

jjones0207 said:


> I didn't know she passed away, sorry to hear that. Was it from this particular incident or was this the beginning of a bad road? If you don't mind me asking
> 
> I did introduce her to it, but we were young at the time (hell still are technically lol). But I also wasn't addicted at the time when I did this (I had a three yr run before getting physically addicted). In the honeymoon phase you cannot possibly see the bigger picture.
> She only uses infrequently, short binges but she never cops herself. Just leeching from me lol 8) but I won't let it damage her life, she has a bright future with no reason to ever catch a charge or be unhappy. I watched dope change her happiness part with just mild w/d symptoms.
> 
> You can't burden yourself guilt thats for sure but thats another convo.
> 
> Time Heals All...



Thank you for the kind words.... This was about 10yrs ago and I am doing well now... She was dead when I found her.. I had to call my cousin and my neighbor over to clean out my apartment, while she sat there staring at me with dead eyes. It was absolutely horrible. Something I definitely will never forget..


----------



## jjones0207

These ^ are reasons cops give when they lock up addicts (as in those addicted). But as previously stated, it doesn't do a damn thing in addressing the problem. When working off minimum wage jobs ect. impounding vehicles, charging bails to gain revenue, and among other things all of these things will cause financial ruin to those who cannot bare a $1-2K loss. Setting someone back financially will just cause more issues in their life possibly triggering drug use. Instead classes could be offered on educating & bettering addicts, and rehabilitation covered by the state (& I dont mean the lock you up in a facility).

I understand you would still be in trouble and required to fulfill these obligations, but jailing someone doesnt help a thing.  Then the day they release the addict (sometimes at 3am with no ride) there is no assistance. No bringing the person up to speed with the world, just tell you walk out that way lol. Its no wonder mf's just walk there ass right back to the dealer and cop with all trauma. By the way, cook country jail is on California. 

**P.S. Violent offenders? sit there ass in time out, AKA JAIL, until they know how to keep their hands to themselves


----------



## cj

somnilicious said:


> Any dealer that lets you pick the drop spot is a fucking idiot.. You never want to let the customer control the meet because it is to easy to set you up with a controlled buy. He is probably taking more time because he has gotten more customers now. Dealers don't all think they are Gods, addicts are just impatient(I get it.. I am also an addict) and expect a dealer to just snap his fingers and appear with dope anytime they get money.
> 
> When I dealt years ago.. I would have like 10 people waiting for me in different parking lots. Almost every single one of them called me every 5 mins. It was the most annoying fucking thing in the world. Especially when I would be trying to conduct business and watch out for the cops, while also being paranoid as fuck.
> 
> The phone never stops ringing from sun up to sundown and the customers didn't give two fucks about me either as long as I brought their dope. People forget that dealers have lives to. Try being woken up at 6,7 in the morning by a bunch of impatient addicts, when you stayed up all night because God forbid you wanted to have a little fun yourself. Some of them may work other jobs, go to school, have to eat, maybe have kids to take care of etc, etc...
> 
> Hopefully if he is smart he sets up the spot scopes it out before arriving and makes you follow him to see if you are being followed. This all takes time and when people call over and over again asking "where you at?" It is annoying as fuck especially when you are trying to remember every person that you are meeting and where the meet spots are.
> 
> Chances are if he is taking over an hour to meet you he probably wants to lose a couple of costumers anyways. Once it takes that long to get to a spot he needs to get runners but that is a whole nouther world of trouble and worry for the dealer. Always being paranoid that somebody is going to drop the dime on you is scary as hell. Remember before even bringing addicts their dope a dealers number one job is staying out of jail..
> 
> lmao... Customer service. I don't miss the job at all. I am a lot happier working out in the burning sun with a welder and long sleeves on so I won't get Molten metal on my arm.. That is just to show you how annoying and worrying the job became. There is a different side to every coin. You have to put yourself in their shoes.



Damn I guess that does put it in perspective. But I still don't like sitting at ghetto ass gas stations for an hour.


----------



## somnilicious

jjones0207 said:


> These ^ are reasons cops give when they lock up addicts (as in those addicted). But as previously stated, it doesn't do a damn thing in addressing the problem. When working off minimum wage jobs ect. impounding vehicles, charging bails to gain revenue, and among other things all of these things will cause financial ruin to those who cannot bare a $1-2K loss. Setting someone back financially will just cause more issues in their life possibly triggering drug use. Instead classes could be offered on educating & bettering addicts, and rehabilitation covered by the state (& I dont mean the lock you up in a facility).
> 
> I understand you would still be in trouble and required to fulfill these obligations, but jailing someone doesnt help a thing.  Then the day they release the addict (sometimes at 3am with no ride) there is no assistance. No bringing the person up to speed with the world, just tell you walk out that way lol. Its no wonder mf's just walk there ass right back to the dealer and cop with all trauma. By the way, cook country jail is on California. Its probably quicker to go cop than to try to get home lol.
> 
> **P.S. I feel for those who have had to experience withdrawing in jail. Violent offenders? sit there ass in time out, AKA JAIL, until they know how to keep their hands to themselves



I had to kick methadone and xanax in jail.. It was absolute hell. I was begging the guards for immodium and ibprofen but they wouldn't give me shit and the fucked up part was that two people had died in that jail withdrawing, so they were required to give patients methadone but you had to be on the clinic... I was not because I was seeing a private doctor.. So no bueno.. I even tried to fake a seizure because a guy in the cell next to me had one and they gave him an ativan taper so I threw myself off my cot on the ground and started flopping around. My cellies started yelling for the guards. They came in looked at me and said "He's alright.. he is just withdrawing."


----------



## cj

somnilicious said:


> I had to kick methadone and xanax in jail.. It was absolute hell. I was begging the guards for immodium and ibprofen but they wouldn't give me shit and the fucked up part was that two people had died in that jail withdrawing, so they were required to give patients methadone but you had to be on the clinic... I was not because I was seeing a private doctor.. So no bueno.. I even tried to fake a seizure because a guy in the cell next to me had one and they gave him an ativan taper so I threw myself off my cot on the ground and started flopping around. My cellies started yelling for the guards. They came in looked at me and said "He's alright.. he is just withdrawing."


Fuck that whole experience sounds really traumatic. I am really sorry you went through that.


----------



## chinky

yeah I was talkin about the drive to bham

but to answer the other question..

as far as I know its mainly black people that control the street level stuff here in atl..im sure they get it from the Mexicans but the dope trade isn that popular here its a lot ogf coke/crack and pills..the people I know here that do pills are still you8ng so its onl a matter of time til they get into dope but they still can afford to get high on pills


----------



## cj

There is no "street trade" that I know of In Birmingham. It's very much phone connect or bust. I grew up here but I still would like my chances of cold copping better in ATL than BHAM. But if you do make the trip keep your wits about you. The area your gonna need to be in is pretty sketchy.

Speaking of phone connects guess who im waiting for  at a ghetto ass gas station again. Yay!

Edit update- I am safely nodding out at home right now. I ended up waiting 45 minutes again. Just to upgrade the sketch factor he made me go inside the gas station to meet him to do the deal. Then he brought the wrong amount of dope so we had to work that out. All th while we are in the aisle of the fucking gas station with other customers around. I'm also the only white person in the stores so it's real obvious whats going on there. It kind of amazes me that this dealer has made it at least 18 months beingnsl


----------



## chinky

I finally sucked it up and went to the bluff for the first time today

I was told the general area to check out and when I went no one was out in that area so I just kept driving around looking for someone out when I say a street that ove read about before and that its pretty infamous for being the spot to go. sure enough I make the turn and not more then 4-5 streets in I can see a squad parked on the street facing me, so since I didn't want to drive past him I decide to turn down the next street and go figure there was a cop sitting right there that I now have to drive pass..the cop looked at me and I looked back but that was it..so when im leaving the neighborhood I come out to a main street and I noticed the name of this too..so I drive down that street checking all the blocks as I pass to see which ones had a lot of people on them and as im passing a liquor store I see this guy stanging out front and we meet eyes and I just gave a nod and he gave one back and told me to come back, so I come back around and sure enough he flags me again so now im waiting to make a left into the parking lot and he comes walking into the street and I have me window down so I ask him"where you want me to go?" and he goes just hold up andf comes around and gets in my car..

now I know this is breaking one of the "drug commandments"but I dunno ddue was older and didn't seem like much of a threat..so he gets in and I tell him what up and hes ok make this turn..and I tell him what I wanted and hes "like ok let me out here and just drive around the block" im like cool and hes like "the money?" and I was "I dunno you just cant get it and bring it back?" and hes like "no I gotta run in and get it but don't trip, I aint goin nowhere with your money, this is all business here" and I was like ehhh ok fine..so I gave it to him(I know now im breaking another drug commandment and prolly the most important one at that)..soni was like ok take care of me and ill take care of you, hes like no doubt, so I pull around the block and hes still waiting and tells me to pull around again. so I go an extra block down and then circle back and as im coming down the street hes walking up it, jumps in my car and everything was good to go"..

he kinda laughed and said "you thought I was gonna take your money" and im like "no offense but you know how it is", and hes like "yeah i know but like I said this a business, we don't play games"..cool so before he hands it to me hes asks if im a cop..and I laugh and hell no,..but I ask for his number and he gives it to me..so now I got at least one number..

the dope is alrite I guess, nothing mind blowing but not shitty , decent "B-" - "C+" dope..i would go again...he worst part is how expensive the dope is here, I mean they sell dubs but each dub is only a point, so shuit is expensive..but im, high and itching so no complaints

and go figurei get back to my area and see my buddy whos one of the yungsters in the hood and he asked if I was still looking for dope and I was like "yeah why you got some? and I guess a few days ago he was at the gas station ad started talkin to some guy and told himhe wasn't some rock, well the guy goes and comes back with a fat dub of dope..im like and your not gonna do that? and hes all"fuck njo im not gonna do that shit, and  blah blah blah" and iw as like you were tryin to buy crack bro, you think dope is any different and hes like well.. and im like you don't like viks or norcos or OCs and he was like no I don't really like pills and I told him "you will, yall are already snorting coke and poppin molly and smoking rock,just wait"

and so imam go check that shit out tomorrow, he got dudes number and hes from around here, so if its fire I might have accidently fund a local conncet..but isn't that how it goes? ive asked him a few times about it and he never knew how to get it and then the day I decide to suck it up and go to the hood and cop , I see him at the gas station aftyer I cop and hes got some for me..crazy


----------



## jeebis

so my bank account is fucked because of a goddamn 60 dollar overdraft. really? especially when i get my 4 digit tax return on monday lol. so ive been struggling. doing what i can to get my paws on a few morphine 15mg ir or bags. mainly hustling for weed then trading weed lol

but somehow i just swung a free quarter ounce of weed and 3 very potent bags so atleast im not sick anymore...


----------



## Jabberwocky

dude, my job pays me MONTHLY, so I always get like 5-7k depending how well I do in commish; well, I got paid TODAY and bought 5G's today and already bought and nodded the fuck out after shooting around a G and nodding out and just waking up w/o a clue. I thought I only bought a half G but I def. shot too much and not a clue as to what happened. scary when that happens and its not a "nod" but I just GO OUT w/o a CLUE as to what happen. scary shit. I bought the 4G's earlier today just in a rock, which I why I shot too much. the dude came back just now to get paid and had another G on him and I grabbed another one, lol. I am a junkie.


----------



## chinky

that post makes me want to puke but in the best way


----------



## jeebis

my goal when i do dope is to puke, lol. 

sometimes it takes a bag. other times its a bundle.


----------



## jeebis

ugh, i had a heart attack this morning. i got my tax return direct-deposited into my  account so i decided to celebrate with a bundle and an 8th of some shatter made from the KILLER local sour diesel....but when i went to go to the atm it wouldnt let me do anything and said "unauthorized usage." keep in mind i had my heroin dealer give me a ride to the atm.....

i freak out and shit and go to the bank since ive never gotten that message before and my account was far from being overdrafted. turns out they put my account on hold last week because i was overdrafted. after having a series of heartattacks in my bank over the course of an hour i was finally able to withdraw the money i needed. 

so now i sit here, celebrating my tax return, with a bundle of some god damn fantastic bags, 1.3g of that sour d shatter (all he had left), a quarter ounce of the sour diesel the shatter was made from, and a half ounce of this homegrown northern lights. the northern lights actually isnt bad. it's deffinately some headies, better than mids/beasters/mexibrick by far, but not some top shelf fire like the sour d. he ran out of room in his hydro grow setup so he did a soil grow too but didnt really take care of the plants. but for the EXTREMELY low price he wanted for it (like, bottom of the barrel mexibrick prices) i couldnt pass it up. 

and btw, the only reason i got 'just' a bun today is because im hanging out with my connect for raw (as he and i have become legitamate friends) tomorrow before he goes to san francisco for a couple weeks so i figured i would grab a couple grams while hes sitting in my living room lol.


----------



## chinky

whats drugs my dealers?



*team nod assemble*


----------



## zephyrhigh

I need to nod bad today..... Fingers crossed that income tax check cones in today guys!


----------



## RaZkaL86

Shit, I haven't gotten a decent nod in a while....Fuckin' frustrating when u spend so much $$$ and all you get is normal!!! Things like this make me want to quit the shit but I know as soon as I have money in my hands I get tunnel vision straight to my dealer(s)...guess I've gotten immune to their product...one guy has "finger dope" and bags it himself; that shit was fire for a while, I could smell it when I opened the bag...that mediciny smell and it turned brown in the spoon with no residue. Now the smell has diminished a bit and there's a sludge left in the spoon when I'm done drawing it up...he's cutting the shit out of it and of course I can't say anything about it cause he'll cut me off (my credit anyways)...then there's my other connect with the "Take Over" stamps which also was fire for a bit; tasted and smelled like that old skool dope u got in the 80's!! Now the kick has gotten less and less each time i cop...not to mention the mission I have to go on across town just to get it. At least the other guy is like a few houses down from me which is very convenient!! Oh well guess I have to take what I can get...


----------



## jeebis

oh good lord. my raw guy SERIOUSLY just came through + I bought 16 10mg valium off of someone else. got off of work and within 45 minutes he was at my house with a gram of some fire (the chunks arent soft, they're rock hard. super smooth in the nose. two lines has me WRECKED)..which i was also able to trade him a couple valium in exchange for not paying full price and made out pretty well on that. 

so here i am, i just ate 20mg valium like an hour ago while simultaneously contemplating taking another 10mg pill, slowly working my way through this gram of fire nose-first, and am just packing bong after bong of some sour diesel/rolling and chainsmoking joints of this homegrown northern lights. i wish i didnt run out of shatter :/

edit: whats the safest and easiest way to upload and post a picture? My raw guy has become a real friend and likes to write things on my bags so he knows which one is mine when he's doing the rounds. this time he wrote "ON FLEEK 4 LYFE" because we've been obsessing over the infamous Peaches Monroe vine that made "on fleek" a thing. lol.


----------



## cj

I think I'm getting addicted to benzos. Fuck


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> I think I'm getting addicted to benzos. Fuck



careful there, bud. what makes you say it? 

I been addicted to dope for fucking years and years (opiates, then dope.. dope for past 6 years, opiates on and off for 14 years). 

but when I was addicted to benzos/dope it was the worst; coming off the benzos I had seizures like nuts. maybe it was a GOOD THING for me cuz I found out during once of my seizures I had a brain tumor. not sure where the tumor came from but I have a BRAIN FUCKING TUMOR and its cuz of the seizures I found out. 

but just be careful, man. its a fucking hassle coming off those fuckers. its worse than dope by far. benzos and alcohol are the 2 hardest to withdraw from, so again, be fucking careful and if you DONT THINK YOU ARE ADDICTED YET, then stop RIGHT NOW and give it a week before you use again. you just need a break to stop that. crazy to say, but switch to another drug right now if you MUST USE A DRUG.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

RaZkaL86 said:


> Shit, I haven't gotten a decent nod in a while....Fuckin' frustrating when u spend so much $$$


++1


RaZkaL86 said:


> "Take Over"


purple??


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> careful there, bud. what makes you say it?
> 
> I been addicted to dope for fucking years and years (opiates, then dope.. dope for past 6 years, opiates on and off for 14 years).
> 
> but when I was addicted to benzos/dope it was the worst; coming off the benzos I had seizures like nuts. maybe it was a GOOD THING for me cuz I found out during once of my seizures I had a brain tumor. not sure where the tumor came from but I have a BRAIN FUCKING TUMOR and its cuz of the seizures I found out.
> 
> but just be careful, man. its a fucking hassle coming off those fuckers. its worse than dope by far. benzos and alcohol are the 2 hardest to withdraw from, so again, be fucking careful and if you DONT THINK YOU ARE ADDICTED YET, then stop RIGHT NOW and give it a week before you use again. you just need a break to stop that. crazy to say, but switch to another drug right now if you MUST USE A DRUG.


I've just been eating Xanax everyday for a couple weeks. I haven't had any withdrawal symptoms yet. I don't usually take more than 4mg a day. I'm gonna go buy some weed tommorow so I can take a break from those and dope. I've spent like 150 on dope in the last 10 days which i onow isnt much to some of you but im unemployed. The hard part is I'm getting the Xanax for free so it's super hard to turn them down. I'm just gonna focus on getting the weed.


----------



## jeebis

well aint today just one good day for dope heads who know me.

a) my old dealer who i went through for years who got arrested, yet who was a legit friend, is still in jail. but his best friend just hmu on facebook since he didnt have my number. guess who has my old weed, coke, and dope connect back. HUZZAH!!!!

b) my connect for raw has seriously become a good friend. in fact he just ate dinner with my parents and I an hour ago, lol. but since he drives around with multiple bags for clients, he organizes them. i looked in his car and there were a handful of blank bags (he sells the raw in normal d bags), and then a few with names on it. my 1.3 gram bag said "on fleek 4 lyfe 4 mr brownstone". i dont even live in a goddamn brownstone....

and c) this kid whos been getting acid from me just ordered 10 gs of pure mdma from the netherlands on the darkweb. it came in today and i shit you  not, my entire bedroom smells of vinegar (the heroin), dead skunks (the sour), and root beer (the 3.5gs of mdma i grabbed). i am SO excited for this friday night. it's pay day, im going to see a local AWESOME dirty heads tribute band with my best  friend (who happens to be the dude that makes all of the mushroom chocolates ive been eating), gonna roll my balls off, sniff a ton of dope, haave a couple cheap drinks (as they're playing at a local brewery that makes great beer), and see where this goes, lol.

normally for mdma i keep a little and try and get rid of the rest for profit. this shit is so good im not even telling people i have it. im hiding it. same with the raw and the special 518-cut of Sour Diesel i have. 

omnomnom


----------



## RaZkaL86

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> ++1
> 
> purple??


 u mean lettering? blue


----------



## jeebis

i decided to pass on buying heroin today.

instead i settled for an 8ball of some of the best mdma ive ever seen in my life, a couple valium, an etizolam pill, a bunch of sour diesel, and a 6 pack of some good ass wheat beer.

i cant tell if its good im not doing heroin or bad that im doing 5 other awful things....

edit: especially when ive already sniffed my way through 3 gs of mdma (started off with 5.5. now i have 2.5). i mean, im rolling my absolute tits off at the moment, but searching for dope or benzos at 5 am sucks


----------



## cj

jeebis said:


> i decided to pass on buying heroin today.
> 
> instead i settled for an 8ball of some of the best mdma ive ever seen in my life, a couple valium, an etizolam pill, a bunch of sour diesel, and a 6 pack of some good ass wheat beer.
> 
> i cant tell if its good im not doing heroin or bad that im doing 5 other awful things....
> 
> edit: especially when ive already sniffed my way through 3 gs of mdma (started off with 5.5. now i have 2.5). i mean, im rolling my absolute tits off at the moment, but searching for dope or benzos at 5 am sucks


Damn dude that's ALOT of MDMA. You must have a monster tolerance. I get sick if I take over 3-400 mgs.

I felt like scum last night. I had to leave early from hanging out with an old friend I rarely see to go meet my dealer. Once I am employed again I can buy in bulk so I don't have to deal with him as much. I just had this horrible impending sense of doom the whole drive down to the hood that had me a little shook. It didnt help that I had weed,Xanax and rig on me. Then of course he decided to make is meet at a really busy gas station then we kinda fucked p the hand to hand which was emberassing and my fault. Overall it was kinda sketchy. One of those times where I wasn't sure if the cops where coming or not. 

Truthfully I have a sense that this guy is getting hot and that I should look elsewhere but he has really good dope.


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> I've just been eating Xanax everyday for a couple weeks. I haven't had any withdrawal symptoms yet. I don't usually take more than 4mg a day. I'm gonna go buy some weed tommorow so I can take a break from those and dope. I've spent like 150 on dope in the last 10 days which i onow isnt much to some of you but im unemployed. The hard part is I'm getting the Xanax for free so it's super hard to turn them down. I'm just gonna focus on getting the weed.



well, consider yourself lucky but be careful cuz its whacky as shit once the "bad" stuff happens and seizures and whatnot occur. just read about them man; they are right there w/ alcohol withdrawals which are the worst and benzo right underneath that. this is coming from a heroin junkie. ha.


----------



## woamotive

This thread makes me drool.


----------



## jeebis

crimsonjunk said:


> Damn dude that's ALOT of MDMA. You must have a monster tolerance. I get sick if I take over 3-400 mgs.
> 
> I felt like scum last night. I had to leave early from hanging out with an old friend I rarely see to go meet my dealer. Once I am employed again I can buy in bulk so I don't have to deal with him as much. I just had this horrible impending sense of doom the whole drive down to the hood that had me a little shook. It didnt help that I had weed,Xanax and rig on me. Then of course he decided to make is meet at a really busy gas station then we kinda fucked p the hand to hand which was emberassing and my fault. Overall it was kinda sketchy. One of those times where I wasn't sure if the cops where coming or not.
> 
> Truthfully I have a sense that this guy is getting hot and that I should look elsewhere but he has really good dope.



I do have a tolerance, + it was compensating for the benzos and opiates I had taken with it. I also forgot to factor in what I gave out to other people and mention that that was over the course of many hours. what can you say? but boy have I been feeling the repurcussions of it. brainzaps and just general sickness

although today I just have a handful of 10mg valium, a few bags of heroin, an ounce of some J1 (Jack herer x Skunk #1), and like half a gram of some killer sour diesel shatter. my brain is still fried and still feels absolutely fucked with. I have beer too but I have been throwing up constantly for the past two days so ive been living off of vitamins and Gatorade. ugh.


----------



## cj

Jeebis that makes sense. But yeah you should eat some 5-htp and soe multivitamins for a while.

I have been binging for the last few days and it has been pretty fun. In fact I just did another bag before I wrote this. And the formula 1 race is about to start. Tonight is alright.

TEAM NOD ASSEMBLE!


----------



## jeebis

5htp never really worked. green tea, weed, benzos (high quantities of valium), and vitamins have been keeping me cool. and heroin. cant forget heroin. but it was the first time with mdma in AGES, especially pure shit from the darkweb.

but I have 60mg of valium left (after just eating 30,). do I buy an ounce of weed and a half bundle of dope, then wait to buy a few dozen klonopin, or buy/trade for the kpins and say fuck it on the d until tomorrow. I do have 5 empty bags though and 2 straws caked in residue I can harvest. I might just scrape the bags/waterline through though the straws (sniff a few droplets of water through the straw as to absorb and uptake the shit caked on the walls of the straw. its why I don't like using bills when possible), smoke a bowl of some J1, and see whether or not I should I go get heroin

I mean, TECHNICALLY I can get mad benzos and weed and shit but still. I don't want to piss away all my money. ughhh.

edit: started with 1 10mg valium this morning. then somehow my valium guy called 5 min after I woke up saying he was around the corner, needed money, and had 8 on him. now I just bought 25 klonopin. im gonna see how long I can go without dope though........ lol


----------



## woamotive

Daaayum. I havent used h in a month and a half and its REALLY fucking with my head. My part time job isnt cutting it anymore, I need more hours. I need a damn car! Sucks being so close to Chitown and not being able to 'get' there. I used to have this connect who'd drive up here on occasion but I lost touch. Man, the psychological torment addiction carries is miserable.


----------



## Jabberwocky

woamotive said:


> Daaayum. I havent used h in a month and a half and its REALLY fucking with my head. My part time job isnt cutting it anymore, I need more hours. I need a damn car! Sucks being so close to Chitown and not being able to 'get' there. I used to have this connect who'd drive up here on occasion but I lost touch. Man, the psychological torment addiction carries is miserable.


consider yourself lucky cuz at least u dont have a physical addiction, right? I have the dope an arms length and I have a killer habit and ruined my life.


----------



## woamotive

BostonBrownTown said:


> consider yourself lucky cuz at least u dont have a physical addiction, right? I have the dope an arms length and I have a killer habit and ruined my life.



I do. I am stuck on sub I get for free from a close friend. I still iv that shit bcuz im addicted to the process, the needle. My hands, arms and feet tell the story. 
Worst part is sub just cures the sickness, my mind is still running rampant and its all consuming lately.


----------



## Jabberwocky

IV'ing subs is such a waste, man. just take those by mouth; you are much better off, trust me. I am addicted to the needle myself but still just eat my subs because it helps ten x's more.


----------



## cj

I just can't stand the horrible taste I get after I IV subs. That combined with it giving me no rush and pummeling mu veins stops me from doing it in all but the most desperate situations.


----------



## woamotive

BostonBrownTown said:


> IV'ing subs is such a waste, man. just take those by mouth; you are much better off, trust me. I am addicted to the needle myself but still just eat my subs because it helps ten x's more.



I IV for the difference in BA. I can take so much less than if I sublingualed. Yeah, sucks ass because I experience no high whatsoever but I do like that I 'instantly' feel better and that I dont need to taste it. Tbh, recently after reading through the sub megathreads/related threads for the millionth time I alternate between IV and plugging to give my veins a rest. Feels about the same (in terms of outcome or wffect, haha).

Other news, I got ripped off today 50 fucking dollars. How IRRITATING. Im having bad luck lately. Last two times this has happened. Im being dumb with choosing my sources. I always overestimate the compassion of others. Shiiiit.


----------



## Jabberwocky

I have a 16MG/day sub script right now but I am still using far too much but I have just got my script back, so I do need some time before I can make the official switch over, ya know!? some people seem to think the minute you get that script it will be that easy to stop dope and just go right to bupe; nah, not that easy, people. so dont be saying, "OMG, youre still using?". yea, I am still fucking using, so fucking relax. dont act like you wouldnt be doing the same if you were in the same situation, ha. but its funny to hear other junkies say that to me as if they would have been able to do it w/ ease. 

but yea, FIRE has been going around Boston, and I grabbed 3G's today and already shot 1. so far, so good. I am looking to nod but its hard for me to catch a nod at this point in my career, lol. yea, I called my use a career, but damn, I've been using a while and nods are not easy to catch.


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> I have a 16MG/day sub script right now but I am still using far too much but I have just got my script back, so I do need some time before I can make the official switch over, ya know!? some people seem to think the minute you get that script it will be that easy to stop dope and just go right to bupe; nah, not that easy, people. so dont be saying, "OMG, youre still using?". yea, I am still fucking using, so fucking relax. dont act like you wouldnt be doing the same if you were in the same situation, ha. but its funny to hear other junkies say that to me as if they would have been able to do it w/ ease.
> 
> but yea, FIRE has been going around Boston, and I grabbed 3G's today and already shot 1. so far, so good. I am looking to nod but its hard for me to catch a nod at this point in my career, lol. yea, I called my use a career, but damn, I've been using a while and nods are not easy to catch.



Yeah that's going to be a rough transition anyway you slice it. I mean a G a day habit is nothing to sneaze at. I have never even gotten close to that. If I remember right you used to jump from subs to H a lot right? I know for me it seems like the transition back to sub gets a little rougher everytime. Especially if it's a long enough run for the subs to leave my system completely. I honestly don't even think I would try going back on to subs after a sustained run with a habit that large. But yeah no judgement here I used to sell my sub script every month to fund my dope habit so I know how that goes.


----------



## Jabberwocky

for some reason it never affected me that badly; I can jump back and forth w/ ease between subs and dope and feel great .kinda weird, man. I hear so many people struggle w/ the back and forth play of dope/subs. yet I have a killer dope habit and take a good amount of subs, and all comes together w/ ease, luckily. I usually only wait 12hrs before using the next drug, which people always told me to wait longer, but I know what WORKS FOR ME, not necessarily for you, so do not try it just because I said it. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and if you want to take a chance to find out, then by all means, but remember, you can get sick; if you havent already been dope sick, then it will be hell. if you been dope sick a million times like me, then oh well, lol. 

I never wait till the subs/dope are our of my system before taking the next; if anything, I am killer my dope high more than my sub transition.


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> for some reason it never affected me that badly; I can jump back and forth w/ ease between subs and dope and feel great .kinda weird, man. I hear so many people struggle w/ the back and forth play of dope/subs. yet I have a killer dope habit and take a good amount of subs, and all comes together w/ ease, luckily. I usually only wait 12hrs before using the next drug, which people always told me to wait longer, but I know what WORKS FOR ME, not necessarily for you, so do not try it just because I said it. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and if you want to take a chance to find out, then by all means, but remember, you can get sick; if you havent already been dope sick, then it will be hell. if you been dope sick a million times like me, then oh well, lol.
> 
> I never wait till the subs/dope are our of my system before taking the next; if anything, I am killer my dope high more than my sub transition.


It does seem like sub effects everyone different. I have found that I am not prone to PW but I really try not to test it too much. I always wait for mild withdrawal symptoms though just to be safe though. 

Man I fucked up kinda bad the other day. I met up with this girl I made friends with in detox. I really just wanted to bang her but instead one thing led to another and we got some bags. Now I was unprepared for this so I didn't have a rig with me. This led to that always nasty decision of whether to share a needle or not share a needle. Now of course the crimson junk portion of my brain was like "wtf is wrong with me you know this girl has hep c at the least.". But then the junky fatalistic side of my brain was like "wtf else you gonna do snort it? Fuck no we both know that ain't happening". So I compromised and ran some ISO rubbing alcohol through a very used syringe. Like it was so used that the volume measurement on the side of the rig was rubbed off. So needless to say I am most likely the proud owner of a blood borne pathogen. Oh man let me tell you my parents will be proud! I just keep telling myself I didn't start shooting heroin to live a long healthy life anyway.


----------



## chefman

Dude go to walgreen s and buy some rigs,damn crazy


----------



## standupthenfall

Anyone from Philly? I'm in Holyoke, but had a death in the family recently. I'm going back home next week and I'm gonna need to cop while I'm there. I've been copping in Philly and cmd for almost 10 years but haven't been back in months. What's good out in kenzo? There's a really good Camden topic thread, but everyone has been saying its not great/super hot. I was just going to head down and ask a junky off the el, but just wanted yo see if anyone knew on here. Thanks.


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> It does seem like sub effects everyone different. I have found that I am not prone to PW but I really try not to test it too much. I always wait for mild withdrawal symptoms though just to be safe though.
> 
> Man I fucked up kinda bad the other day. I met up with this girl I made friends with in detox. I really just wanted to bang her but instead one thing led to another and we got some bags. Now I was unprepared for this so I didn't have a rig with me. This led to that always nasty decision of whether to share a needle or not share a needle. Now of course the crimson junk portion of my brain was like "wtf is wrong with me you know this girl has hep c at the least.". But then the junky fatalistic side of my brain was like "wtf else you gonna do snort it? Fuck no we both know that ain't happening". So I compromised and ran some ISO rubbing alcohol through a very used syringe. Like it was so used that the volume measurement on the side of the rig was rubbed off. So needless to say I am most likely the proud owner of a blood borne pathogen. Oh man let me tell you my parents will be proud! I just keep telling myself I didn't start shooting heroin to live a long healthy life anyway.



dude, why the fuck would you do this? I've been shooting for 7 years, using for 10+ and I NEVER shared a rig. I did make the mistake of sharing spoon/cotton, which I was unaware you can catch hep c from, but luckily I was tested just last night and still NOTHING! I will always run to walgreens/cvs/whatever and just buy a $.50 rig or 10 rigs for $.2.99. I mean, come on, I just spent $100+ on dope, I at least I have $3 to spent on rigs, right? well, not always right but usually. if not, I have a million used rigs at my house that ONLY I USED! 

stay away from hep c; its a pain in the ass. I know so many people w/ it.


----------



## standupthenfall

BostonBrownTown said:


> dude, why the fuck would you do this? I've been shooting for 7 years, using for 10+ and I NEVER shared a rig. I did make the mistake of sharing spoon/cotton, which I was unaware you can catch hep c from, but luckily I was tested just last night and still NOTHING! I will always run to walgreens/cvs/whatever and just buy a $.50 rig or 10 rigs for $.2.99. I mean, come on, I just spent $100+ on dope, I at least I have $3 to spent on rigs, right? well, not always right but usually. if not, I have a million used rigs at my house that ONLY I USED!
> 
> stay away from hep c; its a pain in the ass. I know so many people w/ it.


I agree, I am lucky/spoiled though. I live in Amherst, Massachusetts, and cop in Holyoke. I have to take 2 buses though. I get off the first and onto the second in Northampton, and their is a needle exchange in Northampton. Its free, and the girls that work there are nonjudgmental, polite, and good looking. You can get up to 5 bags free everyday, along with cookers, cottons, and anything else you may need. Hopefully you didn't catch anything...good luck!


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> dude, why the fuck would you do this? I've been shooting for 7 years, using for 10+ and I NEVER shared a rig. I did make the mistake of sharing spoon/cotton, which I was unaware you can catch hep c from, but luckily I was tested just last night and still NOTHING! I will always run to walgreens/cvs/whatever and just buy a $.50 rig or 10 rigs for $.2.99. I mean, come on, I just spent $100+ on dope, I at least I have $3 to spent on rigs, right? well, not always right but usually. if not, I have a million used rigs at my house that ONLY I USED!
> 
> stay away from hep c; its a pain in the ass. I know so many people w/ it.



I guess I have just kinda ran outta fucks to give. Plus the only place I can get rigs around here will only sell the 15 dollar 100 boxes. And I am too broke to afford that. Excuses I know.

I hung out with the girl I met in detox again yesterday. She has a 4 year old daughter who she had to bring along with us too score. It was really awkward talking about dope and shooting up with her daughter in the back of my jeep. I kind of felt like a scum bag but then I thought that if her mom doesn't care then why should I you know? I mean I don't think this girl is a bad mom per se but I am sure her daughter is going to be fucked up from seeing some of this stuff. That of course assumes her mom survives. Girl is a little wreck less with her dosing.


----------



## Jabberwocky

^^ damn dude, brought the 4yr old to score? thats wrong in so many ways but what can I say being a junkie myself. I am thankful I have no children cuz who knows what the fuck I would do. I would prob OD while being w/ the kid and wake up 12hrs later w/o a clue as to what happened. 

you and the mom shot up infront seat while daughter is in back? damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.. just sooo wrong, but I guess I can understand being a junkbox myself. should have at leat had the little girl look the other way or put her somewhere else while you two shoot. 

still sharing needles? girl is reckless? I hate when that happens. I am a heavy shooter and will shoot half G's and G's w/ ease and I had my "friend" over the other day and she is a junkie herself. well, she attempted to shoot a half G and was FUCKING OUT FOR HOURS! I was talking to her the whole time, making sure she didnt go off into space, etc. was such a pain in the ass. esp. since I was shooting myself but I had to watch her cuz she was embarrassed to shoot so much less than me.


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> ^^ damn dude, brought the 4yr old to score? thats wrong in so many ways but what can I say being a junkie myself. I am thankful I have no children cuz who knows what the fuck I would do. I would prob OD while being w/ the kid and wake up 12hrs later w/o a clue as to what happened.
> 
> you and the mom shot up infront seat while daughter is in back? damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.. just sooo wrong, but I guess I can understand being a junkbox myself. should have at leat had the little girl look the other way or put her somewhere else while you two shoot.
> 
> still sharing needles? girl is reckless? I hate when that happens. I am a heavy shooter and will shoot half G's and G's w/ ease and I had my "friend" over the other day and she is a junkie herself. well, she attempted to shoot a half G and was FUCKING OUT FOR HOURS! I was talking to her the whole time, making sure she didnt go off into space, etc. was such a pain in the ass. esp. since I was shooting myself but I had to watch her cuz she was embarrassed to shoot so much less than me.


Nah we didn't shoot up in the car. Shooting up in front of the daugterwasa line I wouldn't cross personally.


----------



## zephyrhigh

In your previous post it said it was awkward tal ki ing about dope and shooting up with the kid in the car but u did it anyway cuz u thought since the moms didnt care y should u that's absolutely horrible cj.... you should have told the girl that its wrong to do it in front of the kid instead of just doing it in front of the kid...... I understand if your feening enough to not give a fuck and share a rig that ur feening enough to shoot in front of a kid but that's pretty fucked up man that sadly even gives junkies a worse name man.... i cant tell u what to do but if that was me I'd decide to shape on my morals and or find some that's just too much man I have a 4 yr old daughter and I'd be goddamned if I ever even thought about doing that.....


----------



## Erikmen

Once we've cross that line we become just irrational animals imo. And you'd be honored to go back to junk status.


----------



## zephyrhigh

Erikmen said:


> Once we've cross that line we become just irrational animals imo. And you'd be honored to go back to junk status.


 qft absopositivelutely right erik time to find and redeem what u xan of yourself for yourself!


----------



## cj

I mistyped when I put that. We didn't shoot up in front of the kid. But I'm sure she's not having a magical childhood either.


----------



## Jabberwocky

lol, its OK if you have, man. dont change it just because we think differently. all about being honest on here and in life; its why we have "message board names" and not our real names, with real pics, etc. we can say whatever we want, so no worries. you just heard other peoples' opinions but as I mentioned, I've never done it infront of a child but god only knows if I was dope sick and I was in that situation what I'd do. 

no worries, brotha. and if you didnt, you totally told that story wrong, lol.


----------



## cj

I honestly told the story wrong. She was in the car when we scored then we went back to her house and she tried to make the child go in the other room but I'm sure she is around it enough to know what's up. Real talk I would have shot up in front of the kid if I was really hurting or if her mom had done it. But yeah I was high when I typed the story and i tend to overlook details in that state.

But anyway I'm sick as fuck right now. I've been eating sub for the last 12 hours and it has only taken away 50 percent of the hell. I'm waiting on my mom to get home so I can borrow her car go overdraw my account and buy as much dope as possible. I'm thinking a gram will do nicely. But I might splurge on the 200 bag if the bank lets me. I guess I'm getting to that fun point where it's methadone or bust. My habit seems to have outgrown the sub.


----------



## Melvinsparks901707

get you some super headdies bra-no fuck flowers strictly dab and snort h because I am too scared of needles, oh yea the menthol in ciggs will prevent me from cancer......no smoke your powder and snort your tar-


----------



## Melvinsparks901707

jah fire kush-you guys like him-more of a Bay area shredder!!!ta ha!


----------



## zephyrhigh

Today's gunna be a good day for my dealer as it will be for me!!! Get the day started. ..


----------



## standupthenfall

Common Philly heads?? Anyone?


----------



## Jabberwocky

whats sad is my dealer couldnt meet me last night at 10PM and told me he'd get up at 6AM for me. so instead of going to bed here I am waiting till 6AM. its 445 right now.. I needa somehow make it another 115mins and PRAY the fucking dude is not lying to me. that mother fucker better wake up cuz ill be dope sick any time soon. been a bit over 24hrs since my last shots but they were mostly fentnyal.


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> whats sad is my dealer couldnt meet me last night at 10PM and told me he'd get up at 6AM for me. so instead of going to bed here I am waiting till 6AM. its 445 right now.. I needa somehow make it another 115mins and PRAY the fucking dude is not lying to me. that mother fucker better wake up cuz ill be dope sick any time soon. been a bit over 24hrs since my last shots but they were mostly fentnyal.


That's the worst man. Time from midnight to like 7am seems to stand still.


----------



## jeebis

i feel like the luckiest boy in all of the land!

my friendwas getting this FIRE dope lately. like impressively so.  so i was hanging out with him and shit at this club night and his dealer girl was there too. no smoking inside so i step out and so does the dealer. she comes up to me and goes "youre the guy with that really good weed and wax who goes through john all the time right? fuck john, hes a scumbag. heres my number and 2 bags of my top shelf".

that was last night. they were small jersey style bags but potent as a motherfucker and more or less full to the first fold. i call her this morning and she willingly drives 20 minutes to my house for just 4 bags like its nothing at 9 am....PLUS because ive been so polite with her and everything (she made some stops before, but asked if it was ok and i understood and said no problem lol) she gave me an extra 5th. win. 1 and a half bags, sniffed, has me queasy lol. 

shes a white girl whos married to a puerto rican. awesome. not to be racist, but i dont like dealing with black people. hispaniic people (namely puerto ricans and dominicans) have the best coke and heroin.....and i prefer to deal with white people....so this works out super well. plus they love my weed and said they would trade if im sick. 

right the fuck on, man. i gotta stop this nodding shit because im moving out west soon but damn, with shit like this its just so hard


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> That's the worst man. Time from midnight to like 7am seems to stand still.



was whacky and I was calling the dude at 545/6 and finally, 615. he said he'll be here in 15 mins. well, 45 mins go by and I make about 45 calls, lol. anyway, the dude finally comes around 7 and all was good in the hood since then. the BAD NEWS is the dope was gone by 11AM, lol. so I had to get MORE DOPE around 2PM and shoot from then till 6. it was a NICE DAY, LONG DAY of sitting on the couch and just shooting. I'd be high and then sober within no time. come night time I was actually sober after shooting 2 grams throughout the day.


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> was whacky and I was calling the dude at 545/6 and finally, 615. he said he'll be here in 15 mins. well, 45 mins go by and I make about 45 calls, lol. anyway, the dude finally comes around 7 and all was good in the hood since then. the BAD NEWS is the dope was gone by 11AM, lol. so I had to get MORE DOPE around 2PM and shoot from then till 6. it was a NICE DAY, LONG DAY of sitting on the couch and just shooting. I'd be high and then sober within no time. come night time I was actually sober after shooting 2 grams throughout the day.


How the hell do you afford to do that?

But man i need to get away. I broke one of my cardinal rules the other day by middlemanning for someone I didnt know at all. I was just so desperate and kinda xanaxed out that I was able to rationalize it. Now I'm paranoid as shit wondering how many years that could get me in the worst case scenario. Whole thing was a super red flag that I decided to ignore for a temporary high. Hopefully I didn't get set up but you can bet your ass I'll be wondering about it for a bit.


----------



## jeebis

^right? how do you afford that?

and i just got some of the shadyiest shit possible from my raw guy (the girl with fire isnt around to deliver today). paid 20 dollars less than usual for a half gram and the shit neither tastes nor smells like dope. but i sniffed a line and it is strong as shit, but not fent (ive sorta become familiar with the feel of fent due to the influx in the market lately). 

this shit deffinately isn't "raw" like im used to (since its clearly cut and whatnot. its all powder instead of rocks)but is strong enough to keep me from complaining. 

wtf, man.


----------



## Effect

I gotta stop doing dope on top of methadone. I'm only on 40mg, but I can definitely notice a difference in the high and I've been shooting a ton on top on days I do use and despite making a lot of bags by middlemanning and getting really good prices cause I've been using my connects for just under 5 years.

I might have to stop anyway cause I got court coming up soon.


----------



## somnilicious

^^ It's gonna start to get ya if you don't decide to just stick with the done my friend.. You know this.. I don't have to tell you anything.. Have you been getting any of the Fent. dope with the flour consistancy that BBT has been talking about? Lately we started getting these little nick bags in Orlando that look exactly like flour and from experience I would have to say that it is a Fent.. analogue...


----------



## cj

I have a job interview tommorow. It's pretty much make or break time. If I can get this job and hold my shit together for a month my life will get significantly better. If I can't then I am well and truly fucked. I never thought my life would be like this.


----------



## Annmarizzle

Personally, I respect your honesty. It took a lot of guts to talk about the kid in the back seat. I'm just back from an ibogaine rapid painless detox myself (3 mo) and although the physical symptoms of withdrawal didn't happen, all the emotional shit still has to come out somewhere. We all do shit we're not proud of around our DOC, goes with the territory. There's so much shame inherent in addiction behavior....it's been part of getting more sane for me to be honest....with safe people at least. I did AA stuff for years before, am super not into it now, but their "you're only as sick as your secrets" rings true to me.


----------



## Cognitive_Shift

Columbus, OH.  Not many people on here are even in ohio.  Ohio has got a crazy dope scene, not just in the cities either it's rural too.  Mexicans own this state, tar/huff is the best dope around bar none and any white pow that does make it in has been stepped on so many times I just assume it's either a rip off or fake.


----------



## Effect

^ Interesting. I would have thought Ohio would be a powder dope state just based on that fact that I know all of the states that border it (except maybe Kentucky; not sure about their dope scene) are powder states. Must be the connection that the Mexicans have to bring the tar in.


----------



## Erikmen

Exactly, although I didn't know it was tar.
I didn't realize you are from Boston. Spent most of winter in Boston Common, at the Revere, on a working trip.
I was there during all three major blizzards. Lost a couple of days at the airport. Quite an adventure
At the end it was like 110 inches of snow, the city's record. Cool!


----------



## Effect

Haha that's pretty damn cool man. You were in my neck of the woods while I was doing crazy shoveling. Boston is definitely a nice little city. 

I was referring to Ohio when I was talking about the tar, though. Boston is all powder. I don't think tar would do very well around here.


----------



## cj

Currently I am sitting in a parking lot waiting for the man. To pass the time I'm trying to figure out how many hours of my life have been spent sitting in parking lots waiting on dope. I'm gonna be conservative and say I pick up 100 times a year over 6 years I've been using that's 600 times. Say an out of my ass average of 20 minutes waiting each time. Someone who maths should figure that out for me.


----------



## Effect

You've spent 8.3 days sitting and waiting for the dope man. I'd laugh and say that's crazy, but I'm fucking positive mines not much better.

600×20=12000 total minutes - 12000÷60=200 total hours - 200÷24=8.3 days


----------



## cj

Effect said:


> You've spent 8.3 days sitting and waiting for the dope man. I'd laugh and say that's crazy, but I'm fucking positive mines not much better.
> 
> 600×20=12000 total minutes - 12000÷60=200 total hours - 200÷24=8.3 days


Wow that is pretty crazy! And I really feel like my numbers where pretty conservative. Kinda puts shit into perspective lol


----------



## Effect

Yeah well I'm adding a couple hours to my total to if dude doesn't show soon.


----------



## cj

^^
That sucks I had to wait 30 min today and was kinda pissed because it was a sketchy spot


----------



## Effect

I ended up waiting 40 minutes for a delivery to my driveway after getting quoted 30 minutes so that honestly wasn't too bad at all. A couple episodes of South Park killed the time nicely. 

Pissed that I sent nearly the last of my money for the next few days though. Sheeeeiiit....


----------



## cj

Yeah I pretty much finished off my tax return today. But I start a new job Monday so hopefully I can hold it and my money problems will be significantly better.


----------



## Effect

^ At this point, how bad are your withdrawals if you abstain for a couple days?

You actually might not even know, especially if you just came off a little tax return run. Not to rub it in.


----------



## cj

Effect said:


> ^ At this point, how bad are your withdrawals if you abstain for a couple days?
> 
> You actually might not even know, especially if you just came off a little tax return run. Not to rub it in.



I've been on suboxone for like 5 years so my withdrawals are pretty outrageous for real. I am just going to transition back to sub until I get my money right again.


----------



## zephyrhigh

In Atlanta right now.... open air?


----------



## pigpen19688

I Love Detroit. I rarely have to wait unless its the middle of the night. Ive got an open air just six blocks away.


----------



## cj

pigpen19688 said:


> I Love Detroit. I rarely have to wait unless its the middle of the night. Ive got an open air just six blocks away.



Did you get your book published yet?


----------



## Jabberwocky

havent used in a few weeks but was getting killer fent cut dope the last month or so; was delivery within a half hour right to the door.. VERY NICE! but lets hope I can stay somewhat sober (on subs only) from here on out.


----------



## somnilicious

^^ Look who's back.. My man.... Have you maniged to keep your nose clean so far? We all know where trying to stay somewhat sober will probably get ya.. It's giving yourself the option... Not trying to give ya shit BBT cause I actually had some of my own troubles this week.. Glad to see ya back and kicking around... It wasn't the same without ya...


----------



## Jabberwocky

somnilicious said:


> ^^ Look who's back.. My man.... Have you maniged to keep your nose clean so far? We all know where trying to stay somewhat sober will probably get ya.. It's giving yourself the option... Not trying to give ya shit BBT cause I actually had some of my own troubles this week.. Glad to see ya back and kicking around... It wasn't the same without ya...



nose clean; only BAD thing to happen was taking a few xannies. I was on 2 subs each day in the program and my final 2 days I only had 1 a day and wasnt feeling great so they gave me 1MG xanny at night rather than a 2nd sub to help me sleep. worked much better. the first night after NOT taking the sub I woke up not feeling great.


----------



## somnilicious

BostonBrownTown said:


> nose clean; only BAD thing to happen was taking a few xannies. I was on 2 subs each day in the program and my final 2 days I only had 1 a day and wasnt feeling great so they gave me 1MG xanny at night rather than a 2nd sub to help me sleep. worked much better. the first night after NOT taking the sub I woke up not feeling great.



That's no problem.. It was a prescribed and administered, therapeutic dose or what I like to call a license to cop a buzz. I know your gonna be up to taking your gabbas, having a few drinks, and smoking your cheeba.. Hopefully not the chiva... Just don't let it get you into trouble and if you find yourself really drunk and craving opiates then run the other way and cut out the alcohol.. I find that sometimes alcohol gives me cravings for either dope or coke cause it hits that dopamine reward center and ignites a fire for the real deal.. I'm just looking out for my Boston brother.. I don't wanna hear about you being jammed.. I was kinda worried about you the last two weeks before you left.. You were definitely chasing that sleep of the Gods in a bad way.. Sometimes people sleep that sleep forever... Then what would we do over at our other home.. It would be shit without BBT.. Much love..


----------



## Jabberwocky

dude, they made me take 900MG gaba at night in the program, so it was ALL A WASTE and now I am DONE w/ it all, oh well. as far as weedies gone, NOPE! havent smoked in weeks. last I smoked was the Wednesday before I went into the Sunday program and I smoked 2 HITS out of a blunt. we were playing cards and I was having a few beers and took a puff just to chill the fuck out. 

I am TRULY TRYING TO STAY SOBER! but who the fuck knows, ya know!? sober to me is much different than most. sure, ill prob still smoke weed, take a benzo to sleep, and have a few beers here and there, but that is sober to me. much better than shooting 1-2 grams of dope a day, ya know!?!? lol. we'll see how it all works, tho. I just want to STAY AWAY FROM DOPE! lets hope it works. these suboxone make me FEEL FUCKING GREAT but ONLY 16MG; anything less and I am NOT feeling great. sure, maybe 12MG but even 8MG not doing it for me just yet. ill slowly drop my dosage as times goes on but I am only 2 weeks clean so in NO RUSH, man.


----------



## cj

I've been on a huge run the last few weeks. Doing way too much dope everyday. So I decided to take the leap and start on methadone. I have an appointment at the clinic Friday morning to get started. I hope I'm not fucking up but I feeli like I am at the end of my options. And I've been addicted for long enough now to say I'm in it for life.


----------



## Mzral

BostonBrownTown said:


> I am TRULY TRYING TO STAY SOBER! but who the fuck knows, ya know!? sober to me is much different than most. sure, ill prob still smoke weed, take a benzo to sleep, and have a few beers here and there, but that is sober to me. much better than shooting 1-2 grams of dope a day, ya know!?!? lol. we'll see how it all works, tho. I just want to STAY AWAY FROM DOPE!



This is basically where I'm at and I have the same mentality when it comes to "sobriety." I look at myself as having a heroin problem. I'm not an alcoholic and I have no problems with other substances I have used in the past. That is my issue with going to meetings and how the programs of AA & NA approach addiction and alcoholism. They say you must abstain from all drug and alcohol usage. I'm at odds with that because I have been using drugs since I was 13 and I have a deep interest in psychoactive substances. How can someone tell me I can't use anything for the rest of my life when that is where a big portion of my interests lie and it has been all that I know? 

Today I am once again clean from heroin, but I want the freedom to be honest and not feel ashamed at the fact I still like heroin and what it does for me and I'm once again in mourning over not using. That might sound ridiculous to some, but I think anyone posting in this thread will understand where I'm at. It's a constant struggle and I'm giving it my best effort to distance myself from dope.


----------



## Jabberwocky

I was able to continue to stay sober; been almost 3 weeks now, but 2 of those weeks were inside a sober house, so who knows. but right now I have no need to get dope whatsoever. lets hope things stay what way and tonight I will be playing cards and playing poker all night, so hopefully I STAY SOBER, ya know!? 

we'll see, tho.


----------



## RaZkaL86

Yup to me I think the only way i can stay sober is from within a treatment facility...or a correctional facility...definitely don't want to go there!!! Out on these mean streets I have absolutely no control and it totally sucks azz....can I get an AMEN???


----------



## woamotive

AMEN! Been wanting aaanything, having sub is a godsend but sometimes id like to be altered, ya knooow? If not for weed id be going crazy. 

Im trying to take super minimal suboxone, just one dose daily of about a mg, still IV guys... Lol. Its just how its gotta be done. I want to fucking feel the H next time I get ahold of some. I miss getting those chunky grey bags. Droooool.


----------



## jeebis

oh sweet sweet mother jesus.

ok, so ive been buying bags through a buddy of mine because hes been bagging them out himself and buns literrally cost half price for me. awesome right? sort of. his boyfriend is a meth user/dealer. walking into his house is the weirdest congregation of people ive ever seen. tweakers, junkies, and pill heads in there.

best part, im heterosexual but dont give flying fuck what others prefrences are....but when youre in a room full of 6 flamboyantly gay tweakers and junkies....my god is it entertaining. especially when the gay guys ask me what pussy feels like, i jokingly say "like a looser, more welcoming asshole"....and i swear to god i heard someone sigh as though they wish they could try. lol.

i love having gay drug user friends. also, because i showed up 15 dollars short of a bun, he just said dont worry about it so i gave him a xanny bar and a little smidgen of some white rhino bud i have for 12 bags of fun. so, awwwww yea, tonight is my shit.

hows team nod doing? i havent checked in lately. thought yall thought i was dead. im just trying to lay low before i move out to denver (honestly going for the "green rush".)


----------



## trutexan

maybe because the DEA in USA made hydros and others schedule !!. no docs want to prescribe even for legitimate pain.. so folks are going on methadone to keep from getting sick . its criminal !


----------



## jeebis

^ fact. but methadone and suboxone programs arent immediately accepting of new clients, which is why they all turn to heroin. thats why hear in the northeast (i actually live in the epicenter of the VT/MA/cap region NY "epidemic"). it actually has gotten extremely extremely bad around here lately. tons of scam artists too. i have had people offer me 50 dollars for my connects because my connects are safe (due to them being long time friends/clients). 

its fucking rough out here. i wish i lived in denver, with all the weed i want, a suboxone doctor, and a script of some benzos. i truly believe i can start over if i can make that happen. i have a history of growing weed that looks better than a high times centerfold, and i deal with many people with medical needs. you wouldn't velieve the extent of which i have educated myself on that plant. i need to put it to good use besides just being the dude with a big bag of weed rambling about it's origins when you only want to buy an 8th and walk away lol


----------



## crzydiamond

crimsonjunk said:


> I've been on a huge run the last few weeks. Doing way too much dope everyday. So I decided to take the leap and start on methadone. I have an appointment at the clinic Friday morning to get started. I hope I'm not fucking up but I feeli like I am at the end of my options. And I've been addicted for long enough now to say I'm in it for life.



Methadone can be a godsend. It's helped me at several points in addiction where I was so sick of the using cycle but couldn't stay off. It does allow you to get your life together and focus on somethings other than copping. 

Just try and stay at the lowest effective dose if you plan on coming off someday. And don't plan on coming right off , it's good to give it a year or so to get used to living without chasing the high

Nice thing about methadone is you still feel that good opiate feeling. I  have actually been decreasing because I'm getting to the point that I'm tired of spending my free time nodding off (who'd have thunk I'd ever say that?!?) 

Hope it goes well for you. It's def a relief to go to sleep not worrying about how you'll get well tomorrow


----------



## cj

crzydiamond said:


> Methadone can be a godsend. It's helped me at several points in addiction where I was so sick of the using cycle but couldn't stay off. It does allow you to get your life together and focus on somethings other than copping.
> 
> Just try and stay at the lowest effective dose if you plan on coming off someday. And don't plan on coming right off , it's good to give it a year or so to get used to living without chasing the high
> 
> Nice thing about methadone is you still feel that good opiate feeling. I  have actually been decreasing because I'm getting to the point that I'm tired of spending my free time nodding off (who'd have thunk I'd ever say that?!?)
> 
> Hope it goes well for you. It's def a relief to go to sleep not worrying about how you'll get well tomorrow



That warm opiate feeling is what I never got from suboxone. The only thing that worries me is that I don't plan to be 100 percent abstinent from other drugs especially weed. I'm hoping I can find a way around the tests or that it's not a deal breaker to fail for weed. My intake appointment is Friday and they start at 25mg so I guess I'll see how good my dope connect really is then lol.

Edit. I just found out that the methadone is 16 dollars a day or 480 dollars a month!!! Is it just me or is that fucking insane!! Thats the same as the rent on the 1 bedroom apartment I am looking at! Absolutely crazy the profiteering people get away with because well fuck junkies right?


----------



## LSDiesel

That is a little expensive. The clinic I went to from 2012-2013 was 70 a week, or 280 a month. They listed it as a package though, and required you to go to group meetings once a week at first until you had clean urines for 90 days. They went in the bathroom with you for urine tests so getting around the tests was nearly impossible. Ultimately because I loved weed too much I could never put 90 days clean and I was stuck at their stupid "level 1" program. They had levels 1 through 5. At level 5, you had a months worth of medicine to take home. But it usually would take upwards of 4 to 5 years to get to that point. I felt like it was a stupid goal to get to level 5 just to be hooked on methadone for that long. I felt like it would mean I would be on it for life and have to play the clinics little games forever. Ultimately I decided to detox off it. I relapsed and have struggled since but I have recently put together good clean time


----------



## Jabberwocky

man, suboxone helps me 100000x's more than methadone could ever. I take 16MG daily and I have no urge, no NOTHING to use. but when I was on methadone I used when I first started (20MG) all the way through to 95MG before I tapped out and decided methadone just is NOT doing it for me this time. made my way back down to around 19MG before I jumped off completely and was just shooting daily as usual. 

I have NO CAR, so going to the clinic is/was a pain in the ass; even if I had a car it would be a pain. suboxone just helps me in every which way, esp. the driving part, ha. I have 2 DUI's and dont get a car/license back for another 4-5 months. 

god bless you clinic peeps, tho. its a pain in the butt. my sub Dr. I see once a month, 60 pills, bye bye! and I dont even sell the pills anymore like I have before (years back w/ my first time on subs) because I need these motherfuckers to kill ALL URGES!~


----------



## crzydiamond

crimsonjunk said:


> That warm opiate feeling is what I never got from suboxone. The only thing that worries me is that I don't plan to be 100 percent abstinent from other drugs especially weed. I'm hoping I can find a way around the tests or that it's not a deal breaker to fail for weed. My intake appointment is Friday and they start at 25mg so I guess I'll see how good my dope connect really is then lol.
> 
> Edit. I just found out that the methadone is 16 dollars a day or 480 dollars a month!!! Is it just me or is that fucking insane!! Thats the same as the rent on the 1 bedroom apartment I am looking at! Absolutely crazy the profiteering people get away with because well fuck junkies right?



Yeah some "for-profit" clinics really are expensive. The good part if you plan on using weed is the for profit ones are usually more tolerant of use. As long as they get paid...

Check into TASC. They often cover most of the costs if you don't qualify for welfare Medicaid. It varies by county but is usually around 20-30$ per week


----------



## RaZkaL86

Dagnabbit!!! Another big hit...Springfield cops ain't playin'!!!  http://wwlp.com/2015/04/16/9390-packets-of-heroin-stolen-gun-found-in-drug-bust/


----------



## trutexan

i  always got really stoned from methadone. It does give you a chance at a normal life ..but detoxing from it is a bitch !


----------



## cj

It's so frustrating when there is only garbage around. I have been trying bags from all the dealers I know and it's all about the same shit.


----------



## Burnt Offerings

I've got a couple questions about heroin, if anyone here cares to answer? Sorry if this is the wrong place...

1) I am relatively new to the drug (tried it about a couple months ago). Lately I've been using regularly, though. I've probably done tar (smoked and intranasal) for the last 8-10 days straight. Will I experience withdrawal symptoms if I stop?

2) Exactly how dangerous is combining smoked/snorted heroin with Ambien? I assume it's dangerous because they're both depressant drugs but I consume about 5-10 mgs of Ambien a night and I was just wondering what kind of risk I was exposing myself to.


----------



## CrowetheCat

Burnt Offerings said:


> I've got a couple questions about heroin, if anyone here cares to answer? Sorry if this is the wrong place...
> 
> 1) I am relatively new to the drug (tried it about a couple months ago). Lately I've been using regularly, though. I've probably done tar (smoked and intranasal) for the last 8-10 days straight. Will I experience withdrawal symptoms if I stop?
> 
> 2) Exactly how dangerous is combining smoked/snorted heroin with Ambien? I assume it's dangerous because they're both depressant drugs but I consume about 5-10 mgs of Ambien a night and I was just wondering what kind of risk I was exposing myself to.



1) Probably, but the answer's different for everyone. Just try to stop and see how you feel. That's the best way to find out.  The withdrawals typically aren't Quite as bad for people who don't IV, but you can still get kicks, nausea, insomnia, etc. Even if you do experience withdrawals, just let them happen and take a break, if you can. Physical addiction is a pain in the ass.

2) I couldn't tell you much. I've mixed heroin and various benzos, but I wouldn't recommend it.


----------



## jeebis

1) its likely, but not necessarily going to happen. you wont know until you stop, but the sooner you stop the easier it will be. make sure you have weed/nsaid pain relievers/benzos/nyquil for withdrawals if you are worried. However, any symptoms you do experience now will be the easiest time in your opiate life. get out while you can and the withdrawals are manageable. for real.

2) think about it. if you think it will kill you, why are you trying to do it? plus heroin and ambien is both unnecessary and not fun (you'll just pass out...and possibly die)

but happy Bicycle Day, team nod. getting ready for 4/20 tomorrow?


----------



## Burnt Offerings

^ I take the Ambien for chronic insomnia, not for recreation, it's prescribed to me. It works somewhat well IME. H doesn't really make me all that sleepy...cannabis does, though, certain strains anyway. Hopefully when legalization rolls out fully in my state (AK), I'll be able to get some good indicas and will be able to stop taking these pills. I'd prefer that.

Thanks for the answers though.


----------



## Jabberwocky

trutexan said:


> i  always got really stoned from methadone. It does give you a chance at a normal life ..but detoxing from it is a bitch !



detoxing from Methadone made me look like a huge junkie at work; I worked behind a computer and I'd take my done' at 7AM and between 1230-230 I'd just NOD THE FUCK OFF! people started to think I was either using again or suffering from some type of seizure. the guys at my work know I had a brain tumor prior and also abused opiates to a degree, so they would see that and just not know what to say/do, lol. I never told them about methadone but would just say its another tumor medication I take.


----------



## Jabberwocky

Burnt Offerings said:


> ^ I take the Ambien for chronic insomnia, not for recreation, it's prescribed to me. It works somewhat well IME. H doesn't really make me all that sleepy...cannabis does, though, certain strains anyway. Hopefully when legalization rolls out fully in my state (AK), I'll be able to get some good indicas and will be able to stop taking these pills. I'd prefer that.
> 
> Thanks for the answers though.



I've always been a pretty big junkie but I've used dope w/ benzos and ambien; its so hard to tell another when they are asking if it can be used because many of us who used has abused in more ways than one, but its also known as a deadly combo. 

always safe NOT to do it if you can actually ask the question. I would never ask, I just did DUMB THINGS and lucky. 

hell, I even did dope and benzos today but today during the DAY and benzos at night; still dope and benzo but a bit more on the safe size, or at least its what I like to tell myself. even smoked a little weed tonight to relax and help sleep. the dope I had today had me on a nod cuz I was smoking w/ that as well and just slept most my day away. just sucks when that happens.


----------



## cj

4 AM nod squad reporting for duty sir! . But for real got paid yesterday. Got some chronic and pretty good fire. Ready to get u and make money again! Having a job is pretty cool!


----------



## zephyrhigh

crimsonjunk said:


> It's so frustrating when there is only garbage around. I have been trying bags from all the dealers I know and it's all about the same shit.


Is it the brown rock shyt or the white powder shyt both to me are garbage.... But I finally found some better if u want to ride with to get some.....


----------



## jeebis

*breathes deeply* god damn do i love the smell of spring in my city, namely because ALL of the BEST drugs are around

the heroin has not only literally become half the price of what i used to pay (and still very high quality. i love my new dealer), but has actually gotten better IMO.

Coke is back in force and ABSURDLY high quality. i dont really do coke but i was with some friends who got a ball and i was seriously impressed.

lsd is PHENOMINAL. we're getting these prints that are images of a cartoon jerry garcia in a boat fishing. idk the name but they're great.
my friend has been getting MDMA from the Netherlands that has been great.

all the pills (bars, adderall, methadone, subs, etc) seem to be around and pretty consistant in their pricing

and the weed. oh. my. god. the weed I have been getting is goddamn narcotic. it impresses ME and i've been a chronnisseur for a damn decade. this also means the shatter and crumble (BHO) I get is equally as high of a quality. 

just sniffed 4 bags and am smoking some legit ass White Rhino and dabbing some Blueberry crumble, waiting for my bar guy to get out of work. how are all y'all doing?


----------



## MMT

jeebis said:


> *breathes deeply* god damn do i love the smell of spring in my city, namely because ALL of the BEST drugs are around
> 
> the heroin has not only literally become half the price of what i used to pay (and still very high quality. i love my new dealer), but has actually gotten better IMO.
> 
> Coke is back in force and ABSURDLY high quality. i dont really do coke but i was with some friends who got a ball and i was seriously impressed.
> 
> lsd is PHENOMINAL. we're getting these prints that are images of a cartoon jerry garcia in a boat fishing. idk the name but they're great.
> my friend has been getting MDMA from the Netherlands that has been great.
> 
> all the pills (bars, adderall, methadone, subs, etc) seem to be around and pretty consistant in their pricing
> 
> and the weed. oh. my. god. the weed I have been getting is goddamn narcotic. it impresses ME and i've been a chronnisseur for a damn decade. this also means the shatter and crumble (BHO) I get is equally as high of a quality.
> 
> just sniffed 4 bags and am smoking some legit ass White Rhino and dabbing some Blueberry crumble, waiting for my bar guy to get out of work. how are all y'all doing?



Jealous is the word that comes to mind.


----------



## jfree6000

Yep. Jealous is definitely the word that comes to mind. Sitting here in the same area of the state fighting withdrawals. It's great you have such awesome connects, but for those of us who have lost ours it's just torture to read. Gives me hope that I might find a new connect soon though, so that's something.


----------



## jeebis

the issue with great connects are that they leave you without a goddamn dime to your name.

havent had a damn thing since friday. i feel like shit, my anxiety is through the roof, but it kinda makes me want to legitimately try to get over this shit. its been atleast 8 months atleast since i last had some what of a break. im also dangerously low (1g max, a couple hits of hash oil, and half a pill bottle full of j clips) on weed, sans alcohol or anything else, and i have 11.57 on my atm card. i also owe someone 25 dollars that i feel horrible that ive owed him since friday. i made some money saturday but i had to pay back my mdma guy after he fronted me some shit + he is also a legitamate friend so i didnt want to fuck him over.

fuck yo. i was doing so well there for a few weeks. now im just kinda fucked. i hit a wall last night after i peeled apart every empty bag i had in my house and waterlined every straw ive used. now i just feel kinda pathetic and useless, and my anxiety is fucking horrible at the moment. 

but i got two options. fight through this shit and try to stay clean, or continue to struggle and live day by day in a perpetual shitstorm.


----------



## jfree6000

If you decide you don't feel like being sick PM me. I can't send you one.


----------



## jeebis

word.

and my mom apparently noticed there was something wrong with me and while she was out she grabbed me some beer. time to drink until i forget why i started drinking in the first place. 

and im even having panic attacks about not having weed (i do not know the last time i went without weed). i have to ration this shit until i get paid friday. ugh. once i hit friday im good. so im gonna drunk until it gets dark (as in the sun goes down or i black out), then some trazodone, a few bowls, then pass the fuck out until i have to go to work at 6


----------



## subotai

im on vivitrol

shit sucks man, all it does is make me look toward a certain date (basically June)

but it got me out of a bit of criminal charges where all I had to do was pay a fine. 

so thats where im at, just kind of smoking weed here and there and working. 

its supposed to eliminate cravings, but the fact that I have absolutely no way to get high just makes me depressed


----------



## Jabberwocky

def. DOES NOT ELIMINATE CRAVINGS! 

I tried Vivi and only shot up STILL! around day 20/21 I would end up breaking through and getting high; so happy I got off that shit and back on Suboxone. now I've actually been able to stay away from dope and be "normal" again.


----------



## jeebis

i considered vivitrol for awhile. kinda happy i didnt go for it. 

and this week has been rough due to my money situation. juckily i had a buddy who was totally willing to "pay it forward" and hook me up with some really good dope on tuesday and thursday + he also hooked me up with 2 oxy 10's yesterday and some valium the day before. that's a real homie right there, lol. i only had money on friday to pickup. 

now im sitting here, wishing i could get high. i got lucky and traded someone a .7g joint for 6 7.5mg hydros that i've already eaten, but theyre hydros. come on. although im shocked i feel a slight something from them.....i knew i should have kept the klonopin i had last night lol.

back to subsisting off of weed, hash oil, and trazodone :


----------



## jeebis

also, random note. this might just be all the hash oil i've dabbed today, but my friend claims to have some form of hydrocodone that are like gel caps that contain 10mg hydrocodone and 8mg of some antihistamine. does anyone know if this is actually a thing?


----------



## subotai

you definitely do not want to get vivitrol unless it can help you gain some kind of advantage that subs wouldnt. It makes you seem a bit more committed to getting clean because you cant just "not take" the vivitrol and get high like youre locked in for at least 3 weeks. 

ive just been looking at it like a forced tolerance break. a "clean up some shit" break. im going to feel a lot better about it in like 10 days because Ill be pretty much back to normal functioning and ill know at the same time I can get high again soon, and its not even going to take a lot. 

but I dont want to really talk about that yet or I get depressed

so I just smoke weed here and there for a little bit, I try and remind myself I did that for like 3 years anyway

but Im counting the days in reality, for now. no, Ill always be counting the days.

Im on day 4. about 18 to go


----------



## MMT

jeebis said:


> i considered vivitrol for awhile. kinda happy i didnt go for it.
> 
> and this week has been rough due to my money situation. juckily i had a buddy who was totally willing to "pay it forward" and hook me up with some really good dope on tuesday and thursday + he also hooked me up with 2 oxy 10's yesterday and some valium the day before. that's a real homie right there, lol. i only had money on friday to pickup.
> 
> now im sitting here, wishing i could get high. i got lucky and traded someone a .7g joint for 6 7.5mg hydros that i've already eaten, but theyre hydros. come on. although im shocked i feel a slight something from them.....i knew i should have kept the klonopin i had last night lol.
> 
> back to subsisting off of weed, hash oil, and trazodone :



Ugh. Trazodone. How the fuck do you get thru the day after.That shit will certainly knock you out but you pay for it next day,no ?  Smokin some BB/Kush . You got a card ?


----------



## jeebis

nah. no card because im in NY. although my weed is the same medical quality youd see in a dispensary

and i only take 50mg of trazodone. i dont get much of a "hangover"

but now i have a little bit of weed, 2 (out of 5) bags left, and like half a g of ketamine. yay.


----------



## cj

I've been spending a depressing amount of money on dope lately. Like 60-80 a day. Then I don't even get high. I don't think it's the as I have a cople options in different places. But who knows the fucking media has been all over this heroin killing white people nonsense everyone may be scared to put out pure product. Like my one guy has mostly white power with a few soft rocks in it. It's the best usually and hes a chill guy for the most part so I mostly use him. This other cat has brown looking hard rocks that smells faintly of vinegar. Another dude has white hard rocks that is sometimes good sometimes awful. I dunno when the heroin never leaves your system for months it's a bitch to hit a nod. I guess that's the moral of the story.


----------



## cj

Well I threw in the towel today after missing a very expensive shot. I'm done chasing a high I can't catch. I made the appointment to get on methadone in the morning. I'm for real doing it this time. I want to have friends,respect,money for concerts and festivals. I want to havea life again that isn't driving from my house to my dealer to work to my dealer than back to work. Then be broke again the next day. It's exhausting. Mad props to those of you who balance a life with your dope but I just can't figurethatshit out.


----------



## PriestTheyCalledHim

crimsonjunk said:


> Well I threw in the towel today after missing a very expensive shot. I'm done chasing a high I can't catch. I made the appointment to get on methadone in the morning. I'm for real doing it this time. I want to have friends,respect,money for concerts and festivals. I want to havea life again that isn't driving from my house to my dealer to work to my dealer than back to work. Then be broke again the next day. It's exhausting. Mad props to those of you who balance a life with your dope but I just can't figurethatshit out.



Congratulations, good luck on getting sober, and stay safe.


----------



## cj

PriestTheyCalledHim said:


> Congratulations, good luck on getting sober, and stay safe.


I don't plan to get sober I just want off heroin without going through the hell that is quitting heroin. I got no will power for that being sick shit.


----------



## likeawhale

from my own experience - if you want to get out of the itch scratch cycle of "getting high" (addictive in itself) then i would go with suboxone over methadone. i would start on 2-4mg of an 8mg tabelt twice a day and then weaning down from there. that way you can break the cycle without getting too sick. because you can't use h on top of it your mind is freed from the temptation of scoring (as you know it won't do anything/be a waste) in my own experience anyways.


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> I don't plan to get sober I just want off heroin without going through the hell that is quitting heroin. I got no will power for that being sick shit.



have you been on suboxone before? much better than methadone in my eyes; not as much of a hassle either. 

I've been on both multiple times and prefer suboxone; it helps ME much more than methadone does. methadone does NOT kill the urge of using and does NOT kill the high; so many will be on methadone and still shooting dope and still get high. esp. in the early stages of methadone and you are on the rise; you wont stop getting high till you are 80MG+ and on a steady dosage; so its tough if you still have those urges/cravings. 

w/ suboxone I never get any urges/cravings unless I do not use suboxone for 2+ days. as of now I am on 16/MG/day and usually split in 2 doses but at times ill completely forget my 2nd pill, or not even have to worry and still feel great the following day. I just get a better overall feel when it comes to suboxone over methadone; methadone NEVER did it for me and I gave it 2 tries before giving up and realizing the clinic is not for me. 

also remember that you'll have to be at that clinic EVER FUCKING DAY and you may meet BAD PEOPLE THERE so you are better off finding a Dr. to script you the bupe (subs) and handle the business on your own while still seeing your therapist (which is a must for bupe anyway) and attending the 1 weekly meeting the bupe Dr. may have at his office or some other spot.


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> have you been on suboxone before? much better than methadone in my eyes; not as much of a hassle either.
> 
> I've been on both multiple times and prefer suboxone; it helps ME much more than methadone does. methadone does NOT kill the urge of using and does NOT kill the high; so many will be on methadone and still shooting dope and still get high. esp. in the early stages of methadone and you are on the rise; you wont stop getting high till you are 80MG+ and on a steady dosage; so its tough if you still have those urges/cravings.
> 
> w/ suboxone I never get any urges/cravings unless I do not use suboxone for 2+ days. as of now I am on 16/MG/day and usually split in 2 doses but at times ill completely forget my 2nd pill, or not even have to worry and still feel great the following day. I just get a better overall feel when it comes to suboxone over methadone; methadone NEVER did it for me and I gave it 2 tries before giving up and realizing the clinic is not for me.
> 
> also remember that you'll have to be at that clinic EVER FUCKING DAY and you may meet BAD PEOPLE THERE so you are better off finding a Dr. to script you the bupe (subs) and handle the business on your own while still seeing your therapist (which is a must for bupe anyway) and attending the 1 weekly meeting the bupe Dr. may have at his office or some other spot.


I have played the bupe game to death and found the opposite to be true. All bupe does is make me not sick. There's no glow or reward to speak of. They started me on 25mg of done and while I'm not completely well I'm not crazy sick either. I can already tell the clinic bs is gonna suck but at this point I don't have shit to lose except my life really.


----------



## woamotive

Uuuggh after a week on AWESOME h im back on (full day) 1 of suboxone. Gonna try staying btwn 2-4mg daily for 3+/- days then staying below 2mg. Tis the plan! Got a small amount of clonazepam some lyrica and gaba to help out. I NEED some weed fucking damn it. 

Shouldnt have fucked w the shit in the first place. Such lure...


----------



## crzydiamond

BostonBrownTown said:


> have you been on suboxone before? much better than methadone in my eyes; not as much of a hassle either.
> 
> I've been on both multiple times and prefer suboxone; it helps ME much more than methadone does. methadone does NOT kill the urge of using and does NOT kill the high; so many will be on methadone and still shooting dope and still get high. esp. in the early stages of methadone and you are on the rise; you wont stop getting high till you are 80MG+ and on a steady dosage; so its tough if you still have those urges/cravings.
> 
> w/ suboxone I never get any urges/cravings unless I do not use suboxone for 2+ days. as of now I am on 16/MG/day and usually split in 2 doses but at times ill completely forget my 2nd pill, or not even have to worry and still feel great the following day. I just get a better overall feel when it comes to suboxone over methadone; methadone NEVER did it for me and I gave it 2 tries before giving up and realizing the clinic is not for me.
> 
> also remember that you'll have to be at that clinic EVER FUCKING DAY and you may meet BAD PEOPLE THERE so you are better off finding a Dr. to script you the bupe (subs) and handle the business on your own while still seeing your therapist (which is a must for bupe anyway) and attending the 1 weekly meeting the bupe Dr. may have at his office or some other spot.




Everyone is different though. I'm glad you found something to work for you, I remember reading about your methadone struggles

For me I don't crave at ALL on methadone. In fact I've been coming down some because I am tired of feeling the warm sleepy opiate high during my limited spare time lol. I haven't done dope in a year, and half that year was living with someone who was using. And had no desire to even though it was right there on a daily basis. 

So while bupe works for you, don't be so quick to discourage someone from methadone. Whatever way helps them lead a better life is cool. 

And I have come off methadone twice before. When done right it is not difficult. When done cold turkey it's like hell for a month. But the worst part really is the length of time. If methadone wd and heroin wd lasted the same length of time I'd take methadone wd any day. They are not as intense--but they take forever to go away!!

Crimsonjunk good luck to you, if you have any questions PM me. Oh did you see about TASC to help pay for it?


----------



## cj

Crzusiamond I don't know what TASC stands for but the clinic said they only take Medicaid which here in Bama means having a kid to qualify. Our gov in all his wisdom turned down the obamacare Medicaid extension so I am SOL on that front it seems. BTW that 25mg is long fucking gone and it's 12 hours and 40 min till I can dose again. These people are the ones on drugs if they think I'm not scoring tommorow when I get money. Fuck this dope sick shit


----------



## crzydiamond

TASC up in pa is the drug and alcohol state funding for ppl who like you can't get Medicaid. Although you may want to look into it again cause if you are in the clinic you may qualify under the life sustaining medication (for Medicaid. I didn't qualify before I was actually in clinic but I did once in it. Weird I know)

It stands for treatment alternatives to street crime. I imagine Alabama has something like it, maybe a different name... First time I was on clinic I had to fight to get clinic to take it and for them to cover me. Now here it's almost automatic if you don't qualify for med asst


----------



## cj

crzydiamond said:


> TASC up in pa is the drug and alcohol state funding for ppl who like you can't get Medicaid. Although you may want to look into it again cause if you are in the clinic you may qualify under the life sustaining medication (for Medicaid. I didn't qualify before I was actually in clinic but I did once in it. Weird I know)
> 
> It stands for treatment alternatives to street crime. I imagine Alabama has something like it, maybe a different name... First time I was on clinic I had to fight to get clinic to take it and for them to cover me. Now here it's almost automatic if you don't qualify for med asst



Thank you! I will look into that. But be glad you live in a relatively liberal state. Here in the deep south social programs are at a premium.


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

Still unable to find (not for me even, I'm on bupe, thanks to shooting up Dilaudid, HM Contins and Statex 25mg/50mg (like MS IR, but the dilaudid of the IR morphine pills, if we go by brand name dilaudid anyway, MS IR contain shit that make em require wheel filters/SteriFilts at least), the filters inside the SecuriCups are good, but not good enough for MS IR's talc, I think it is). Statex is a Canadian only thing sorry bros  Anyway, to the point, I still can't find heroin for my friend who's already on 2x130mg Kadians (can't shoot Kadians if you're smart, the best one can achieve is crushing the beads, put em back in the gelcap, have a prescription to cimetidine in high dosages, 600mg or 800mg, I suggest trying to get 600mg ones from your doctor if you have stomach acidity like so many people, say you miss it being in the aisles, worked better than the other H2 antagonists and prazoles shouldn't be taken long term (not a joke). Anyway, 600mg cimetidine 30 minutes before my methadone back then made me nod so hard, but by the evening my body was close to withdrawal, one hell of a liver process accelerator. He's scripted 2x130mg Kadians a day (once every 2 hours) and an OxyIR 10mg every 4 hours prn for breakthrough pain (old man ex-construction worker...these guys are normally the best pharms sources heh). He wants to save on his meds and smoke H or something.

I hear the H in Montreal is a weird scene, we have both east coast powder and tar or maybe brown like in europe that needs to be acidfied for IV, but he wants to smoke it, he's been given hits once in a party by a guy we didn't know who was friends with the girl I was partying at. Anyway, I hear more of east coast powder style stuff from the people in the streets, but they won't find me sources or help, all the guys in the streets either sell weed, hash or coke/crack. But they tell me that normally if they encounter it it's white powder, so anyway, since the 6th family (Rizzutos) are in such tatters that tar from Vancouver or brown from europe is making its way here more. He doesn't want to IV, he knows how much I suffered from the Dillies and HMC's, once I was *this* close from stealing some guy's 12 2mg generic PMS-hydromorphone while taking a piss in his bathroom, it was there next to the toothbrushes, but I never stole shit and I'm not about to go to a certain area of Montreal to rip sombody off (I stockpiled my Dexedrine 10mg spansules and 5mg IR pills for 2 years, I bet I could find some speed freaks willing to do lots to find me somebody who has H so he can have a jar for free..).

Heroin is so not worth it here, last time I heard of prices, 250 for a gram...an HM Contin 30mg will get you at least 6 shots of pure bliss for 35-40 dollars, only problem is how short the damn stuff lasts, everybody knows it's the crack of opiates. I'd be curious if not on suboxone of a dilaudid+H shot, with doses of each reduced enough so it's not a death wish. Anyone knows more of the H scene in MTL tell me yer story.


----------



## crzydiamond

@crimsonjunk
Oh and they kinda expect to use at first, at least until you're on a stable dose. They know that the starting dose won't hold everyone, hardly anyone in fact 

Plus it has to be taken for days straight to start building up in body--half lives you know 

As far as funding, Medicaid is national and if you have the clinic dr sign off on "health sustaining medication" (he will it's common) then you have a better chance of qualifying without a child. If you don't work it's guaranteed. If you do there are income limits. But if you don't qualify even Alabama has to have some kind of drug/alcohol funding. If I can I'll look into it for you. Look for state drug and alcohol treatment funding. Wherever you guys would go for funding if you want to go to detox, say, that's usually the same people who will fund methadone treatment.

EDIT:  TASC /Birmingham ALABAMA
           (205)917-3780
          401 beacon parkway w
          Birmingham 

I dont know how close you are but if that's not your county or near you I'm sure they will refer you! It saved me so much money. When I was at a full pay clinic I went from $80 a week (which became $100 week) to $30 per month. Yes. Month.


----------



## cj

crzydiamond said:


> @crimsonjunk
> Oh and they kinda expect to use at first, at least until you're on a stable dose. They know that the starting dose won't hold everyone, hardly anyone in fact
> 
> Plus it has to be taken for days straight to start building up in body--half lives you know
> 
> As far as funding, Medicaid is national and if you have the clinic dr sign off on "health sustaining medication" (he will it's common) then you have a better chance of qualifying without a child. If you don't work it's guaranteed. If you do there are income limits. But if you don't qualify even Alabama has to have some kind of drug/alcohol funding. If I can I'll look into it for you. Look for state drug and alcohol treatment funding. Wherever you guys would go for funding if you want to go to detox, say, that's usually the same people who will fund methadone treatment.
> 
> EDIT:  TASC /Birmingham ALABAMA
> (205)917-3780
> 401 beacon parkway w
> Birmingham
> 
> I dont know how close you are but if that's not your county or near you I'm sure they will refer you! It saved me so much money. When I was at a full pay clinic I went from $80 a week (which became $100 week) to $30 per month. Yes. Month.



Dude you are amazing! I live in Birmingham so that is spot on! Thank you soo much for real!


----------



## jeebis

man i cant balance this dope life. its just not fun. when the money was around and the drugs were still effective, yea, but this is getting effective. noone has dope right now so i have to shoot ketamine into my thigh to stay somewhat well. but this is becoming a hassle. how am i gonna have money but no way to get dope? 

then again, any process is too much of a process. i bitch when i have to call my weed guy these days....


----------



## zephyrhigh

Cj ttown clinic is 70$ week no ins


----------



## Jabberwocky

jeebis said:


> man i cant balance this dope life. its just not fun. when the money was around and the drugs were still effective, yea, but this is getting effective. noone has dope right now so i have to shoot ketamine into my thigh to stay somewhat well. but this is becoming a hassle. how am i gonna have money but no way to get dope?
> 
> then again, any process is too much of a process. i bitch when i have to call my weed guy these days....


damn dude, and thats working for you? I've done K plenty of times, but this was way back in 2001/2002 in my "club" days. we would buy jars of K in the club and just do bumps; never shot any K. this was back when Tokyo K was still around. 

how does K work when trying to detox from dope? do you get into a K whole and feel good?


----------



## jeebis

ketamine is the only non-opiate drug that truly combats withdrawal. i believe it has some opioid receptor affinity as well as the fact that its an anesthetic also helps. i've only recently begun shooting k IM. like you used to, i primarily sniff it (for shows, clubs, general shenanigans, slow tuesdays, etc). i used to get vials (and still technically can), but lately it's all chinese-synthesized ketamine via nyc or supposedly theres a local synth operation in western mass. i dont mind though, since its typically crystal that will rival any bottle of Ketaset. 

normally dosing isn't really true k-hole status. just enough to flirt with the k-hole. to get the physical (as well as psychological) benefits, but conserve as much as possible as it only lasts (for physical symptoms) for about an hour.


----------



## subotai

I thought Ketamine was worth doing but all I really did was laugh hysterically the whole time and watch basketball. I also snorted it though,I heard IM was the way to go for ket

I need to get money fast, haven't done this in a while but im just gonna grab a half o of some good weed and flip it so I can get a full o and once you get enough to grab full ounces at a time the money pretty much makes itself. And I dont even really smoke that much anyo, more which was my downfall in the past: id smoke all my profit

basically would sell to smoke for free
but now I got all these bills I have to pay

and since Ive just been a junkie for a fair amount of time now, this is kinda lame really, but doing this will force me to interact with other people

im just in a pickle because if I tell my brother's friends I got them it would expedite this whole process

but at the same time, I dont really want him to know where I'm getting it from because then Pandora's box gets opened and he'll never stfu about it

wow klonopin makes time fly by, 12pm to 4pm went 0 to 100 real quick


----------



## axl blaze

dude that reminds me I went to a BL meet up during the NBA Finals: Lakers VS Celtics and they put me in a k-hole and I went back into my hotel room and tried to fucking watch/understand the game of basketball while in a k-hole

couldn't quite figure the whole thing out iirc

I got paid out for my band's European royalties (we do songs for ads in the UK, Romania, Spain, etc)

I have been spending a fucking insane amount on drugs

sadly - been on subs, xanax, last couple days. working more than 40 hrs a week is a cunt bitch


----------



## chefman

What's up Blueliters


----------



## LoLo617

I didn't kno where else to post this comment figured this thread was the best place .... Can someone explain to me why "black tar" exists?! I'm from mass but I travel to the west coast a lot an I can't believe how fuckin awful that shit is !!! Not only is it disgusting black sludge but it's so weak its laughable at the difference In quality between ECP an tar. 

I seriously feel bad for dope addicts on the west coast it's seriously not even worth gettin high if you live In a place that only has black. Anyone else ever wondered why ECP isn't sold out west ? U would think the west coast would be flooded with fire Dope. 
Sorry about the rant but has anyone else ever wondered this ?


----------



## woamotive

Id guess convenience in production(?) Idk, Im in no way educated on heroin history.

Tried tar for my first time last week... Did a dub and felt just as sober as I did prior to doing it (and surely quality varies batch to batch).

Heroin, miss it, but hate it. Its been .... Holy shit just like 3 days?! No way... Feels like longer. (on sub, tho)


----------



## cj

I'm up to 50mg of methadone at the clinic and I'm feeling pretty good. I think I am going to leave my dose right here. It holds me all day with minimal cravings and I can still get high pretty easily. Can't really beat that combination. They said I have like a year before they will start talking about admin detoxing me for smoking weed so I figure I will save up between now and then to leave the state for pot friendly territory. That's what I was planning to do anyway so it's no big deal. Overall I feel like shit is looking up ever so slightly.


----------



## jeebis

idk about the whole tar situation (im from the NY/VT/MA tri state area. never see the shit), but i just think it's worth mentioning that the mexicans are now putting out more powder because they've been able to find scientists and chemists to work for them. so yay for them?

plus, doesn't all the tar in mexico come the same town, Xalisco? or Jalisco? both are real cities, i just forget which. 

doesnt bother me any. thank god i live in NY state (minus all the taxes, corrupt government, and general douchebaggery associated with NY)

story time: i go over to my gay dope dealer and his brother's place to hang out/buy shit. theyre nice enough friends that i dont mind sitting around talking for an hour or 2. i tell the one guy earlier today that i want 2 buns. he says fine. he says he only has 2 bags to put them in, i dont care, so i go over.

homeboy only has 2 bags worth of dope. thats it. i give him the most defeated look because im about to cry and am sick as shit. what does he and his boyfriend do? give me the 2 for free and then proceed to smoke me up on a fuckton of meth and feed me a shitton of klonopin. to their credit, meth sure as fuck gets you out withdrawal. that's a fact.

but now im sitting here in the middle of the weirdest feeling speedball (a bunch of super high quality meth, klonopin, and some sour diesel), blasting some old Jungle and DnB vinyls i found (only my meth-addled mind will remember where i put my old Technics and my crates of records), and remembering i have work at 6 in the morning. 

fuck. dont do meth. not even once. unless you need to REALLY get shit done. or want to dance for hours. or are bored. 

fuck it, "yolo" (as those damn whippersnappers would say).

so hows team nod?


----------



## LoLo617

I'm up to 50mg of methadone at the clinic and I'm feeling pretty good. I think I am going to leave my dose right here. It holds me all day with minimal cravings and I can still get high pretty easily. Can't really beat that combination. They said I have like a year before they will start talking about admin detoxing me for smoking weed so I figure I will save up between now and then to leave the state for pot friendly territory. That's what I was planning to do anyway so it's no big deal. Overall I feel like shit is looking up ever so slightly.

That's interesting. So your saying if your on methadone in Cali or Colorado, they don't care ? Compared to some states where there's stricter laws ? 

I really hate to be "that guy" but if your a true junkie. It's impossible to just smoke weed an not use dope for extended periods of time. I been on an off for about 7 years an anytime I start smoking weed while I have clean time I eventually go back to shooting dope.


----------



## axl blaze

dude that's ridiculous claiming that smoking weed leads ya straight back to heroin

if anything, it helps with the w/ds

seriously - what the fuck?


----------



## LSDiesel

As much as I tried to be a balling web developer awash in NJ's finest ECP, I ultimately failed at juggling the junkie life and am tired of it. I have to admit I am super super excited to get out of the whole Newark area where I just made too many dope connections. I go to school in Newark and I would literally run into them on the street walking from class off campus to get a slice of pizza. 

I have a super sexy girlfriend waiting for me in the San Francisco area and I'm going to go move in with her and take a stab at tutoring kids in Math, SAT prep, science, computer stuff and all subjects for the lower grades. I did it before years ago and I seem to remember liking it better than doing websites. As much of a computer nerd that I am, I feel that human interaction helps very much with my endorphin starved body. And being with my girl, I have zero cravings whatsoever. We have only seen eachother for a few weeks at a time, once on the west coast, and once on the east coast for my spring break, where we went through something like 50 hits of liquid acid and 5 grams of 5-mapb, liberally sharing of course at bonfires, parties and dancing at club Output in brooklyn. We have talked on the phone everyday though, like morning, noon, night. Real love does replace dope well. Dat oxytocin rush!

Not to mention all the buds, edibles, hash and oil that is available in California! God, it's just such a different attitude about pot out there. Whereas in jersey, it's very common for people to get busted or even serve time for weight as little as less than an ounce. We got a dickhead of a governor who is on some crusade to keep pot as illegal and unavailable as possible while at the same time families and people's lives are being ruined by cheap and widely available high quality heroin all over the state from Newark/Irvington/Oranges, Jersey City, Paterson, Asbury Park, Camden/Philly hell even Lakewood, NJ! God I need to get out of NJ like yesterday. 

I have  a feeling I'm never coming back once I get myself established out in California. I know they got that disgusting tar out there, but I feel like with my girl, my tutoring job, all the heady weed I want, not to mention acid, I won't even be tempted to seek out that nasty tar. It took years to get to the level of connections I got in Newark, years I shouldve spent getting my degree and studying, instead I was studying how to find the best dope deals ;p

I guess it's that meth that I have to watch out for out there. It's not even around in NJ on the streets.


----------



## cj

LoLo617 said:


> I'm up to 50mg of methadone at the clinic and I'm feeling pretty good. I think I am going to leave my dose right here. It holds me all day with minimal cravings and I can still get high pretty easily. Can't really beat that combination. They said I have like a year before they will start talking about admin detoxing me for smoking weed so I figure I will save up between now and then to leave the state for pot friendly territory. That's what I was planning to do anyway so it's no big deal. Overall I feel like shit is looking up ever so slightly.
> 
> That's interesting. So your saying if your on methadone in Cali or Colorado, they don't care ? Compared to some states where there's stricter laws ?
> 
> I really hate to be "that guy" but if your a true junkie. It's impossible to just smoke weed an not use dope for extended periods of time. I been on an off for about 7 years an anytime I start smoking weed while I have clean time I eventually go back to shooting dope.


Yes from what people tell me some clinics out west are lenient on pot to the point of not even testing for it. For me pot makes me not want to shoot heroin and ruin my life. It is the cheapest safest way to put out the fire that burns in my skull making my life miserable. So you'll excuse me if I don't accept the 12 step all drugs will leave me sucking dick in abondominuims theory.


----------



## EarthBounded

crimsonjunk said:


> Yes from what people tell me some clinics out west are lenient on pot to the point of not even testing for it. For me pot makes me not want to shoot heroin and ruin my life. It is the cheapest safest way to put out the fire that burns in my skull making my life miserable. So you'll excuse me if I don't accept the 12 step all drugs will leave me sucking dick in abondominuims theory.



^^^^No shit. Also my bupe doc is toedilly coo w pot


----------



## jeebis

another discovery from your resident psychonautic scientist, Jeebis:

methamphetamine will also get you out of withdrawal for awhile. got my ice dude and his boyfriend grab a ball (_price discussion is not allowed._)of literally as close to REAL pure mdma (to the point there were chunks of black sass in there from the synth still) that tested perfect on the reagents. the smoke it gave off was wild.  they tried like a bal between 4 people, had the times of their lives, and told me he one hundred percent more
quote on quote:
:if its THIS quality (he likes it more than the last batch by far), he would regularly buy balls and what not like water
also he can easily get way more kpins if you want


couldnt even get through a full a 2 .2 caps i gave him, and hes the dude to talk about the old white dove and epic mitsubishi all he says when i showed up (he owed me a couple bucks), he hands the money and a .3 bag of meth for the sole fact i got him real mdma. that's so clutch. 

free meth. a supe


----------



## LSDiesel

jeebis, are you turning into an ice-head? btw do you smoke it or snort it usually?


----------



## MMT

LoLo617 said:


> I'm up to 50mg of methadone at the clinic and I'm feeling pretty good. I think I am going to leave my dose right here. It holds me all day with minimal cravings and I can still get high pretty easily. Can't really beat that combination. They said I have like a year before they will start talking about admin detoxing me for smoking weed so I figure I will save up between now and then to leave the state for pot friendly territory. That's what I was planning to do anyway so it's no big deal. Overall I feel like shit is looking up ever so slightly.
> 
> That's interesting. So your saying if your on methadone in Cali or Colorado, they don't care ? Compared to some states where there's stricter laws ?
> 
> I really hate to be "that guy" but if your a true junkie. It's impossible to just smoke weed an not use dope for extended periods of time. I been on an off for about 7 years an anytime I start smoking weed while I have clean time I eventually go back to shooting dope.



Dude,if you're tested with swabs PM me and I'll tell you how to beat them.


----------



## cj

MMT said:


> Dude,if you're tested with swabs PM me and I'll tell you how to beat them.



I wish it was a swab. It's a piss test they run gc/ms on. I'm just gonna look into synthetic cannabinoads when I get to that bridge in treatment. I had to up my dose today to 60mg. My main dope guys phone has been off for a few days and my backup people suck. I think I'm going to commit to methadone. It's scary as fuck to think about life without heroin but I feel like I'm out of options. I'm not getting high on this shit Alabama dope anymore but quitting completely has failed me many times. The last time I went to rehab I had an epic year long relapse/run on heroin that broke my soul and led to the MMT. I guess there are plenty of other drugs out there i can do and I have escaped with no felonies, no probation, and as far as I know no diseases. I should count myself lucky but the truth is I still want to get high.


----------



## subotai

I just got some dope for my aunt and gave in and got 5 bags for myself so we could get a full bundle.

I'm on day 19 of vivitrol but I figured I'd do some experimentation and shot up a bit of the dope.

No rush, at all. In fact, there's barely any euphoria at all, but I TOTALLY feel my chest being depressed and coupling that with me smoking weed almost makes me think Im on a dope high again.

I'm gonna sit on these bags for another week though, the naltrexone is obviously still blocking just about all of the effects of the stuff.

and its good stuff too. my fuckin aunt asks me like 3 times a week if we can get it and I showed her exactly where its at and shit but she always wants me to get it for her. and I do, for a price

this song has been stuck in my head all day


----------



## subotai

that's funny you guys are talking about meth too, I've been thinking about how I was into meth for a couple months like a year ago but then just went back to adderall because meth made me too weird to talk to.

fun to smoke though, easily the most fiendish drug I ever tried. and by "fiendish" I mean like you HAVE to do it / redose

Now I dont take barely any stims because I'm all worried about my future heart health because I was born with a heart defect.

that's probably why I like dope over coke, Id rather slow down than speed up


----------



## woamotive

Man, I've never done meth. I've been prescribed Desoxyn, like in 2010. That, I'd guess is nothing like street method, anhydrous or ice whatever.... I didn't really like the desoxyn much. You know, I don't think I even shot it! Just was snorting back then (maybe).

I'm still waiting to hear about my half g of H. Maaaaan, I'm hoping. I DID dose a tiny bit of sub intranasally. Oh well...

Someone said something about this kinda life, the drug world, the game, etc... It sucks. Its a wild ride. Sometimes its awesome and drugs pop out of nowhere, mostly though its a hunt


----------



## subotai

this is what ive been getting for a while now. the bags used to be grey and a little bit wider but the amount of dope is still the same in the blue ones. 

its hard to sit on this stuff when you are so close to being able to do it again. I think I'm going to have to put myself in a klonopin-induced coma to get through these next couple days


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

*sorry price discussion is not allowed.* I had to have bad effects from the done to get free suboxone, they still tell me what the gov pays for on the bill. I don't mind, sure my pain issue is there but I blame the government for me being where I am, not able to hire competent doctors and then dentists are private, not paid for at all, and jaw specialist docs are usually dentists and only few things will my prov. insurance card pay for. It took about 5 neurologists to find whats wrong with me, and now I'm back in a shitty town with only 3 neurologists for 170 000 people, I can visit one of them more often than the Neuro-God I met in MTL, but he's not really all that smart, hes the one whos started me on topamax and rivotril(clonazepam) eons ago when I lived here first 0.5mg twice a day and he said this, this was for anxiety? I said no,you scripted this part of my neurology issue, clonazepam has an effect on nerve pain diseases, you told me that and then was shaking head but said sure I'll script you them again, he's pretty old and a bit creepy looking, lol, anyways, good luck to you all, here its a joke and most people never saw heroin, they're shooting it up HM Contins and Generic Oxycontins (shooting Oxycontin is dumb enough...but at least these generics are like the old ones, can be done, if you wanna be an idiot. But 24-30mg, especially 30mg HM Contins are still deeply imprinted in my brain, just seeing pictures of them online creates a slight trigger even while on bupe. Crushed, those beads inside have so many shots from a 30 ugh.


----------



## subotai

im fucking sick of this vivitrol bullshit. Havent been able to get a proper high since April 27th

im sick of a lot of shit actually, almost to the point where I want to get on a bus to anywhere and just leave.

and just be homeless for the summer

but I have to go to court in June and at the very least Im probably going to get put on probation if not sent to jail for a little bit.

I wouldnt mind going to jail either tbh. Not because I think im tough or anything, but because I wouldnt have to do anything for a couple months. just sleep a lot, watch some Big Bang Theory, play some scrabble at night, volleyball by day. 

All I get here is fucking pokes and prods on what im doing when im not "accounted for" I guess is how Id put it to my family. 

I dont know, we'll see what happens. Im just tired of having to live in silence about this shit. 

yeah, I have a tendency to get high on heroin in my spare time. Am I the only one who doesnt really feel ashamed by this? 

it's hard to describe the full situation in text but just know its some bullshit. 

I mean really, slavery used to be 100% legal until people woke up and realized it was wrong. 

a law is only a bunch of words on a piece of paper somewhere, youll never be able to legislate morality because people have different morals

itd be nice if all this shit just spontaneously fucked off and I could just do the homeless thing but thats not going to happen

and all I want to do is just get high right now and not let it bother me but I cant even fucking do that 

all you ever hear growing up in school: "treat others how you want to be treated" and I dont get involved in anyone else's business. I dont have a problem with any non-violent or fraudulent crime. do what you want. and I'll do what I want. dinner's in the oven. 

but no, everyone's got a plan for me. and it's fucking obnoxious to hear people talk about my situation and act like I'm going through some huge ordeal and just need to "get things back on track" in order to "reach my potential". 

just a thought, maybe I dont.... HAVE a fucking track. I work menial manual labor jobs for money and help my grandparents with their day-to-day activities

why the fuck would heroin make me unable to fulfill that?

and yeah, I can be prone to spend a decent amount of money on it when I have the money, but if you looked at all my other expenses it kind of evens out.

I know what I have to do in reality, which is move out into my own residence, but then I'd just get shit for wanting to get high on my own and "abandoning" my grandparents

but I get shit for getting high when Im here helping them out either way so what does it really matter?

and of course, nobody cares about some addict not having an ideal situation to get high in and I dont blame them, I wouldnt either. 

but these same people are the ones who probably called the cops on me while waiting at the bus stop for "looking out of it" and then before I can even turn around there's 2 cop cars there telling me to spread my legs. seriously who calls the fucking cops on someone sitting at a bus stop? if I was in the city, well A: the cops wouldnt have even been called but B: the city cops probably would have responded "let us know if he stops breathing or pulls a gun"

and my aunt took too much klonopin and shot a bag and was totally fucked up all day and we had a family dinner for memorial day and my mom and brother both knew it was more than her usual medication and now theyre giving me shit for putting myself back into these situations when in reality I never really took myself out of it. I just couldnt FEEL heroin for a bit, no shot in the world would be able to keep me from still buying it. 

all vivitrol did was make me zone in on how long it will take before I could get high again. And they want me to go back and spend $100 dollars for another shot? get bent. the only thing Im ever going back there for is a script for suboxone so I can have something to hold me over when Im not getting high. After doing the Vivitrol bullshit, waiting the 2-3 days for suboxone to get off the receptors will be nothing. 

Im just frustrated with the whole drug system we have in the United States. and after working at both a liquor store and a bar im even more frustrated. What I do is no different than what an alcoholic does, there's just a lot more bullshit involved with being a heroin addict. 

I need to figure something out sooner than later or im going to figure it out the only way I can really think of atm


----------



## zephyrhigh

I can relate 100% sub. I've never really ever said it out loud to anyone but Ive often needed to..... Well guys Ive never really made up my mind to quituusing boi ,permanently its always been a break of sorts to regroup and shyt. This past year I met the most wonderful man and friend that same night I started using again after 11 months clean. Needless to say we have been on a hundred thousand adventures together with 1000x more memories this whole year. We've been thru all the ups and downs that come with using and some. Out of all the years Ive been using this past year changed my whole world to more sweet than sour . we both had our own demons but we also had each other. We had a connection deeper than just dope and not just as an escape from our issues. He rescued me and helped me sink my ship all at the same time. I helped him fight his self and our addiction for a year. Needless to say the difference this round for me was that not only was I doped but I lived. His past caught up with him and was too thick for him to be able to breath through and too heavy to move past . He killed his self April 30th. I couldn't contact him for two weeks before the incident. I couldn't save him and honestly I know why . I failed him because I got in too deep and let my dope self consume me. I became everything our dope selves are. Ive hit rock bottom before and even still I decided I would only "break" from dope. Since the day he died I have been absolutely spiraling further down into my own self destruction  its been a dark time for me mentally emotionally and every other way possible.Saturday I decided that I had enough I went and bought 6x my dose . I finished it off. I'm tired of fighting this off.my point to all this is I have finally decided that I'm done with this shyt for good . I have finally chosen a permanent break from heroin. My hunger for it died the day he did. I'm awake and the funny thing is I'm not even scared or hesitant or double thinking my desicion . I'm so ready for this after years of being a productive addict of society I know I can live productively and function and be content with dope but its no longer worth it to me. So wish me luck guys. Here's to life without heroin. I wish you guys the best at what you do . wait for it heres the corny one sentence conclusion.live your life and don't let your life live you.  (*had to let this out sorry.)


----------



## subotai

im sorry about your loss zephyr, that must have been a pretty traumatic time for you

but I wasnt done talking about myself yet

seriously, if my parents dont sta-

nah, im not that much of a douche jk


----------



## zephyrhigh

Hahahh I would hope not. I think it was /is traumatic for me. Ive been in a sort of numb nothing affects me type of way. That was kind of rude of me to just shrug you off sub sorry .... Fact is only you know how to handle you and regardless what u do whether its dive off the deep end or become the most successful man your family knows as long as you do drugs it seems as though some people have that mindset that just can't be shaken. I know its hard to not let it affect you but u know what u can handle and what or who u will or won't listen to. Like I said previously I have been a productive addict of society for yeaaaarrrsss but regardless my status in society and regardless how productive I was with my home life as soon as they knew about my drug use it was all over with. Some people .


----------



## subotai

ive always wanted to hitchhike my way across America tbh. Sort of a bucket list thing I guess


----------



## standupthenfall

subotai said:


> this is what ive been getting for a while now. the bags used to be grey and a little bit wider but the amount of dope is still the same in the blue ones.
> 
> its hard to sit on this stuff when you are so close to being able to do it again. I think I'm going to have to put myself in a klonopin-induced coma to get through these next couple days


That's a good spot, but it fell off since then.


----------



## cj

Subotai- I can really relate to what your going through with your family and there expectations. What I eventually figured out is that ou gotta do what you gotta do for you. As long as you have a job and can support yourself than there opinion is just background bullshit. I think you have the right idea about getting on maintenance. It always amazes me that you guys can hold your shot together for so long without having a sun script to fall back on in lean times. I'm pretty sure I would have ended up in prison for doing dumb stuff for money to get well had it not been for my script.

As for me. Life on methadone is really nice so far. I have stabilized my dose at 70mg and I feel really good. Minimal cravings and I am still getting a nice glow for a few hours after I dose in the morning. My plan is to save up some money and use it to move out west to a pot friendly state where I can get a medical card and live my life in a comfortable legal haze. I mean shit gotta have dreams right?


----------



## Felonious Monk

crimsonjunk said:


> What I eventually figured out is that ou gotta do what you gotta do for you. As long as you have a job and can support yourself than there opinion is just background bullshit. ...
> ...My plan is to save up some money and use it to move out west to a pot friendly state where I can get a medical card and live my life in a comfortable legal haze. I mean shit gotta have dreams right?



You're right on target with these.  I moved out West and it's the best thing I ever did.  The axiom, wherever you go, there you are, is 100% true.  BUT BUT, it's easier to figure out who YOU are when there's ZERO connections to your old life, and it's up to you to recreate yourself as an adult--or keep being the same person you used to be.

There's absolutely some luck involved, but if you plan well and research, you should be able to make it.  Most people just don't actually have the balls to leave their family and friends and move 1000s of miles away (not that it's always even a good thing---I've heard a joke here that if you tilted the country on it's side, all the loose change would fall out--and that's California...).  I'll be honest, if I hadn't moved here with my gf I wouldn't have had the planning or wherewithall to make it at the beginning, but we're not together anymore and if anything I'm doing better.  Might not have a lot of people out here but I'm learning how to rely on myself more and be an adult.

It's true about mmj too.  Obviously there's plenty of heroin on the west coast but if you decide you want to get clean, unlimited cannabis makes it a lot easier.  Recovery seems to be more a reality around here too, so if you're clean from dope there's plenty of built-in community (even within the cannabis community).


----------



## subotai

standupthenfall said:


> That's a good spot, but it fell off since then.



you in philly?



crimsonjunk said:


> Subotai- I can really relate to what your going through with your family and there expectations. What I eventually figured out is that ou gotta do what you gotta do for you. As long as you have a job and can support yourself than there opinion is just background bullshit. I think you have the right idea about getting on maintenance. It always amazes me that you guys can hold your shot together for so long without having a sun script to fall back on in lean times. I'm pretty sure I would have ended up in prison for doing dumb stuff for money to get well had it not been for my script.
> 
> As for me. Life on methadone is really nice so far. I have stabilized my dose at 70mg and I feel really good. Minimal cravings and I am still getting a nice glow for a few hours after I dose in the morning. My plan is to save up some money and use it to move out west to a pot friendly state where I can get a medical card and live my life in a comfortable legal haze. I mean shit gotta have dreams right?



yeah you are right crimson but it's tough to find a place to live when you dont have anyone to split the rent with. I make 9$ an hour, I cant afford an apartment solely to myself, or I could afford to pay for an apartment and that's it. because eating is overrated anyway...

I've been all over the place mentally the past couple days. I was so sure that this Vivitrol shot would have worn off by now because it was my first one but I still cant get the high that I want. And that just makes me want it even more. Im on Day 27 and I feel more addicted than I did before I got it.

I don't know, I've been having weird feelings lately. Feelings like my time might be running out here. I don't know how, but I just cant escape this thought that I might die soon. 

and sometimes I'll wonder if I actually am in a coma in real life from a drug overdose and everything im experiencing is just a dream from the coma. 

yeah, im walking and talking, but I'm not even here mentally. I've just been going through the motions for the past month.

oh and my aunt got way too fucked up yesterday and my brother found an empty baggie in our house and told my mom that I was buying dope for my aunt so now my mom is all salty towards me.

He's such a fucking punkass man, my brother that is. He's been ratting me out over shit from day 1, while I never said shit about what he was doing.

even when he was smoking crack. even when he was selling coke for like a week, even when he was dating a girl from the ghetto with 2 kids, even when he got fired from the job we worked at.

I dont say shit about shit, and I never will. But I cant expect him to change, that's just who he is

a fucking rat


----------



## RTrain

Anyone out there ever try mixing phenibut and heroin (or another opi like oxycodone). Preferably someone who is addict and would realize how much less/more they needed and if it prolonged the high. If not how about GHB, GBL, and other drugs that work similarly to how phenibut works.


----------



## subotai

this happened like 4 years ago on a hard drive that was wiped repeatedly before it found a home in a landfill somewhere so im not worried about it

I get what you're saying though


----------



## MMT

^^^ Sub. Ya it's tough biting your tongue.But that's the price you pay for knowing everybody's business cause you're the only one everyone else trusts to keep a secret.Especially in families.


----------



## RTrain

subotai said:


> this happened like 4 years ago on a hard drive that was wiped repeatedly before it found a home in a landfill somewhere so im not worried about it
> 
> I get what you're saying though



Oh ya I mean that is the way to go, smart move. I usually do that with no longer used HDs just to rid any possiblity of personal info getting in the hands of someone  I don't want it in the hand's of, not because of anything defaming, at least not in the eyes of most BL'ers.


----------



## Jabberwocky

RTrain said:


> Anyone out there ever try mixing phenibut and heroin (or another opi like oxycodone). Preferably someone who is addict and would realize how much less/more they needed and if it prolonged the high. If not how about GHB, GBL, and other drugs that work similarly to how phenibut works.



yes, every day of my life! 

I take anywhere from 3-6G's of Phenibut and shooting 1-2G's of heroin; never an issue in my book and always a good "high". although, there are times where if I have GOOD quality dope that I do not want to mix it w/ any other drugs and just get the feel of the dope. 

these 2 drugs are completely separate; therefore, if you are taking one, do not thing you can slack on the dosage of the other. if it takes 2G's of Phenibut for you to feel "good" then you will still need the full 2G's. same goes for the dope; if it takes a half G of dope to get you off empty, then you will STILL need a half G of the dope.


----------



## cj

subotai said:


> I don't know, I've been having weird feelings lately. Feelings like my time might be running out here. I don't know how, but I just cant escape this thought that I might die soon.
> 
> and sometimes I'll wonder if I actually am in a coma in real life from a drug overdose and everything im experiencing is just a dream from the coma.
> 
> t



Dude I have had that exact same thought so many times it's crazy. Especially after my last suicide attempt. I woke up in jail like did all that really happen? It honestly took like a week before I fully accepted that yes thisis reality I'm not in a coma most likely. 

But man I'm really worried for you. When that shot wears off (which it will any day/hour now) your tolerance is going to be much lower than it was 30 days ago! Please please! Do a test shot every time you shoot up until you start getting high normally again! I can't stress enough how high your risk is for an overdose.

Me and you are in very similar situations with our parents and income. My shit came to a head almost month ago when I was doing like 60-80 dollars in my arm everyday. I was working 40-50 hours a week serving tables and was still in debt to the bank like 300 from overdrawing my account to get dope. So I bit the bullet and got on methadone. It has helped me stabilize my life. Before I really felt like I was headed off the cliff. I was either going to die or get arrested again or end up homeless when my family kicked me out. And the worst part was the fucki g dope want even getting me very high anymore! Like I was having to mix it with coke just to be somewhat satisfied. So finally I was like to hell with it.

I'm not telling you what you should do. If you feel like shooting dope then do that. But please do it carefully and stick around with us!


----------



## RTrain

Alright I think I'm gonna give it a go, but I am staying at my low end for the phenibut, which is around 1.25 g, I find 1.5 to be the best dose, more and it can make me too tired and causes a hangover, less and its unlikely to do shit. 1 G might hit me. One thing about that stuff is I need to take it beofre eating anything or it just doesn't work. Its like even 4 hours after a small meal I won't get the high I expect from the same dose taken on an empty stomach before eating anything in the morning. 

Well I'll see how it goes, I think there is a long period tomo that I might not be able to do any dope after early morning, prior not til after lunch and I can't get nodding out so my quick metabolism will leave me hurting fast before I get back to a place I can get high again. It actually might be for naught depending on how my stomach feels, its been feeling odd recently and I think it might be from a mild diazepam dependency, Thouhg I often went a few days w/o the diaz and no issues, still this stomach thing only seems to get worse from for several days after it begins and then stays that way for 3 weeks, like a benzo w/d symptom would. I also think it may be I had an ulcer that I developed about 6 weeks ago, during a very stressful time when i was using dope and several other drugs pretty hard and went away about 3 weeks ago (no pain but gnagging, awful sensation in my stomach area, antacids often help like tagamet or zantac, so fiured that meant ulcer or bad gastritis).


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Waaah  my two best connects are locked up waaah. I'm in pain.   Waaah .


----------



## Rastarish206

How's it hanging nod squad? Copped me a brick of bk's finest diesel last night and am about to set about to enjoying it&#55357;&#56842; how are y'all


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Waaaah. Just did 3 bags and still sweating. This shit suckssssss.


----------



## Jabberwocky

Rastarish206 said:


> How's it hanging nod squad? Copped me a brick of bk's finest diesel last night and am about to set about to enjoying it�� how are y'all



damn, I could never scoop that much cuz I'd put myself out like a light! 

I usually grab an 8ball of dope and go from there; any more than that and I use too much, too fast, and its all gone before you know it. but it is nice to save that $$ when grabbing a fing to get things started.


----------



## subotai

yo nurse



*NSFW*: 



wait for it...
*NSFW*:


----------



## LSDiesel

BostonBrownTown said:


> damn, I could never scoop that much cuz I'd put myself out like a light!
> 
> I usually grab an 8ball of dope and go from there; any more than that and I use too much, too fast, and its all gone before you know it. but it is nice to save that $$ when grabbing a fing to get things started.



Bricks in BK (brooklyn) and Newark/Rest of NJ, and I would assume PA (correct me if im wrong shim or crzydiamond) are 50 bags, 5 bundles. You're lucky if you get a gram to a bundle, more than likely it's closer to a gram for a whole brick, but a gram of RAW. Because bagged up wax baggie folds are milled and cut, though not alot. Its not uncommon to make 20mg or (.02g) bags in Paterson, but of very raw shit, however that would still come to a gram per "brick", wrapped in spanish pornos is the usual out here in Jersey and Brooklyn. I think you're thinking of a "brick" to be like one of those cocaine bricks you see in the movies that is a Kilo or something. Na, an 8 ball of dope could actually be more than a brick from NJ/NYC/CT/Long Island/PA depending on purity


----------



## woamotive

Man, I wish I had the cash and connect to get that kind of quantity (of quality shit). I've been spending every last dollar on H. Mediocre H. 

I'm really high now, though. Shot 2\3 a dub of H, ate 4 150 mg lyrica  (mistake! I have no current tolerance to it, specifically, smoked some FINE herb. Nodding out at work. I work an automatic sandblaster... Lol.

Ahhhhh!


----------



## lizzydeeg

*...any MIA heads in the forum?*

New to posting, but I've been casually observing from a distance for several months.... 

Two years ago I moved to South Florida (Miami) from Essex county NJ - disappointed with (what I thought) was really, really overpriced (and shitty.....like stupid shitty) dope, I threw in the towel for over a year.  Detox, rehab.... Miami was a great choice because of the quality of detoxes as compared to up north... Meanwhile I was also kicking a nasty Benzo habit, ugh.

Cleaned up for 14 months.  No NOTHING nada.  Relapsed about 8 months ago and here we freaking are.  

Oddly, it took me those first few months, and those last few pivotal months (where I knew I wanted to get high, just didn't want to go down alone, selfish I know, but really just looking for / praying on those with a similar mindset who are FROM Miami, who know where the good shit is....)

Call me a snob, but I refused to relapse on anything less than el fuego....

And here we are. My rents paid, my cars paid.  But I look in the mirror and i hate the reflection.  I'm so remorseful for taking out my FRIENDS (ex junkies or not, I planted the seed..) ...... And the truth of the matter is, I still want to get high even though I am right back where I left off in NJ... Fucking stuck.  Took a sub, decided Monday night was my last night... Yea, yea.  We will see if this works.

Peace - thanks for reading my confessional ode to my addiction.


----------



## MMT

Rastarish206 said:


> How's it hanging nod squad? Copped me a brick of bk's finest diesel last night and am about to set about to enjoying it&#55357;&#56842; how are y'all



Ahhh, the word 'jealous' comes to mind. Enjoy.


----------



## Rastarish206

MMT said:


> Ahhh, the word 'jealous' comes to mind. Enjoy.



How come? Are you not using currently? Sorry if you've been over this, I'm new to actually joining the conversation here. Anyone else around from the nyc area?


----------



## Rastarish206

LSDiesel said:


> Bricks in BK (brooklyn) and Newark/Rest of NJ, and I would assume PA (correct me if im wrong shim or crzydiamond) are 50 bags, 5 bundles. You're lucky if you get a gram to a bundle, more than likely it's closer to a gram for a whole brick, but a gram of RAW. Because bagged up wax baggie folds are milled and cut, though not alot. Its not uncommon to make 20mg or (.02g) bags in Paterson, but of very raw shit, however that would still come to a gram per "brick", wrapped in spanish pornos is the usual out here in Jersey and Brooklyn. I think you're thinking of a "brick" to be like one of those cocaine bricks you see in the movies that is a Kilo or something. Na, an 8 ball of dope could actually be more than a brick from NJ/NYC/CT/Long Island/PA depending on purity



Yeah I meant brick as in 5 bundles, 50 bags. I wish I could cop a key but like someone said that would be the death of me haha


----------



## subotai

bundles are usually 14 bags in Philly

I almost got in a fight with my brother at 4am last night

Im watching tv downstairs (ie: out of everyone's earsight) and he comes downstairs and says all pissy 

"dude go to bed what the fuck are you doing"

and Im sitting there thinking like "is he fucking serious right now"

and then he tries to get tough and he goes "I mean it"

and I got up and just went "or else WHAT?"

and he was just like "whatever man I know youre still getting high"

and I just said "yeah well I know a lot of shit about you that I never bring up because it's your life and im not a fucking snitch"

and then he proceeded to deny everything I said as if I dont know what crack smells like.

god damn, ever since he got off Suboxone he's just been a total douche. and he's asked me for bags before too

he was doing morphine irs all the fucking time up until like 2 weeks ago and the whole time he's telling my aunt "but dont give my brother any"

I need to get out of here


----------



## cj

I'm up to 80mgs of done a day. But I am still infatuated with getting high on dope. This shit is fucked up guys.


----------



## RTrain

As a dopehead in need of money, here is an idea I want to see if anyone has any thoughts on. 

Know those Coinstar machines that buy your gift cards? Say you buy an item with credit (preferably a store credit with a year of no APR), return the item for a gift card (maybe best to ask for a gift receipt so when you return it they can't credit the card and only will offer a store card). Then you take the store card and cash it for a voucher at the Coinstar operated gift card exchanger, and boom you got yourself from loot. 

I know all us junkies come up with some clever ways to get cash when needed, anyone try this or think it may work, or may not?


----------



## steviem0742

I'm a heavy user on day 3 of withdrawal. I smoked some method a few hours ago hoping it would help. I was feeling great but now my heart is beating super hard. My blood pressure has to be sky high. Should I be worried?


----------



## cj

steviem0742 said:


> I'm a heavy user on day 3 of withdrawal. I smoked some method a few hours ago hoping it would help. I was feeling great but now my heart is beating super hard. My blood pressure has to be sky high. Should I be worried?


Nah you'll be fine. That's why I'm not a fan of speed when I'm sick. Paranoia to the max.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

RTrain said:


> As a dopehead in need of money, here is an idea I want to see if anyone has any thoughts on.
> 
> Know those Coinstar machines that buy your gift cards? Say you buy an item with credit (preferably a store credit with a year of no APR), return the item for a gift card (maybe best to ask for a gift receipt so when you return it they can't credit the card and only will offer a store card). Then you take the store card and cash it for a voucher at the Coinstar operated gift card exchanger, and boom you got yourself from loot.
> 
> I know all us junkies come up with some clever ways to get cash when needed, anyone try this or think it may work, or may not?


I mean, maybe but why not just buy a gift card with the credit card then? Save yourself a step

They probably won't offer more than 30% of the worth tho
If you have a credit card you're better off buying cartons of cigs and selling them cheaper than worth.


----------



## subotai

yo knife how's everything going with you? im not fucking with you either, im really asking how shit is going

you still got a vehicle right? if so, send me a pm,  I gotta ask you something

if not, well fuck off then

nah im kidding, send me a pm seriously


----------



## RTrain

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> I mean, maybe but why not just buy a gift card with the credit card then? Save yourself a step
> 
> They probably won't offer more than 30% of the worth tho
> If you have a credit card you're better off buying cartons of cigs and selling them cheaper than worth.



I didn't know a store would sell a gift card for credit. I looked around for an answer to that question but found nothing really saying yes or no. I suppose calling the store is the best bet. If you happen to know a place that does allow this I'd be thrilled to know about it. And I am pretty sure the return on gift card is more than 30% the value of the card. The coinstar site claism up to 85%, I am expecting around 75% for a major store. 

And I am looking for money quick, and I don't know enough people who smoke anymore. Maybe back in my younger years, but back then I wasn't a dopehead so I didn't find myself with 4 maxed out credit cards and now my only hope to find a way to generate cash from my BB store credit card. Thats the other issue, I am using a store card, I can't just buy whatever I want and flip, its gotta be from a sottre. Although, I also have a Macy's card that is a split card you can use as just a store card and as a regular credit card from AMEX (I can advance cash off that thing but shitty AMEX requires you to make a purchase with the card and then wait 6 months from the date of that first purchase before you can cash advance off it...Ok so you don't want to screw me on interest like all the normal credit car companies, whatever you'd lie AMEX)

But, actually your cig carton idea has some hope now that you mention it. Because I know anyone who definitely would consider a cartoon of smokes worth the $, its my guy. I guess I could scoop up a bunch and flip em real cheap to him. I am in a state where cigs a stupidly expensive, like around 8$ for a pack of Marlboros. But, a nice hour ride north of here there the state sells the much cheaper, so the point where you cross the border and the alchy stores and such have hufe signs advertising prices on cartons, bc they know people make the trip up there for the deal (including my guy, which means I'd have to go up there and buy the cartons if I thought I'd flip them over to him for anything near a reasonable loss on the investment. Although the prices in that state are still much lower, they went up significantly for recently, as the state has all the left wingers from here moving up there and ruining everything that use to be good about it.)



steviem0742 said:


> I'm a heavy user on day 3 of withdrawal. I smoked some method a few hours ago hoping it would help. I was feeling great but now my heart is beating super hard. My blood pressure has to be sky high. Should I be worried?



Ya, uppers, especially the stronger ones, are about the last thing you'd want while on a rattle. Maybe helps with the anhedonia from PAWS after you get through that initial withdrawal. Only actually drugs that'll help much are downer's, benzos for the most part, barbituates if you could get some these days. Sleep aids are good, like OTC shit such as benadryl, BUT ONLY IF you can get sleep with them. If you take them and still can't sleep, it just makes you feel worse because it sucks even more energy out. Also benadryl makes RLS worse, so it can make you just feel drowsy as fuck, but even less able to sleep because you're flailing your limbs around even worse than before


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

RTrain said:


> I didn't know a store would sell a gift card for credit. I looked around for an answer to that question but found nothing really saying yes or no. I suppose calling the store is the best bet. If you happen to know a place that does allow this I'd be thrilled to know about it. And I am pretty sure the return on gift card is more than 30% the value of the card. The coinstar site claism up to 85%, I am expecting around 75% for a major store.
> 
> And I am looking for money quick, and I don't know enough people who smoke anymore. Maybe back in my younger years, but back then I wasn't a dopehead so I didn't find myself with 4 maxed out credit cards and now my only hope to find a way to generate cash from my BB store credit card. Thats the other issue, I am using a store card, I can't just buy whatever I want and flip, its gotta be from a sottre. Although, I also have a Macy's card that is a split card you can use as just a store card and as a regular credit card from AMEX (I can advance cash off that thing but shitty AMEX requires you to make a purchase with the card and then wait 6 months from the date of that first purchase before you can cash advance off it...Ok so you don't want to screw me on interest like all the normal credit car companies, whatever you'd lie AMEX)
> 
> But, actually your cig carton idea has some hope now that you mention it. Because I know anyone who definitely would consider a cartoon of smokes worth the $, its my guy. I guess I could scoop up a bunch and flip em real cheap to him. I am in a state where cigs a stupidly expensive, like around 8$ for a pack of Marlboros. But, a nice hour ride north of here there the state sells the much cheaper, so the point where you cross the border and the alchy stores and such have hufe signs advertising prices on cartons, bc they know people make the trip up there for the deal (including my guy, which means I'd have to go up there and buy the cartons if I thought I'd flip them over to him for anything near a reasonable loss on the investment. Although the prices in that state are still much lower, they went up significantly for recently, as the state has all the left wingers from here moving up there and ruining everything that use to be good about it.)



I mean, I don't know personally about paying for gift cards with credit cards. I was just making an assumption that for instance, a store like CVS, that has that whole gift card isle for a million different things from iTunes to restaurants, would probably accept a credit card as a form of payment. I misread what you wrote about it being a department store card.  CoinStar can "claim" up to 85% but when it comes down to it.... let's see what it actually is. I'm guessing not even half. But that's just my guess. for your benefit, I hope I'm wrong.

You have a macy's card. You can always buy something that's worth a pawn, and then borrow against it- then return it when you get it back.
About the cigs- I live in a place where there's open-air market for everything right off the street. There's always demand for cigs.


----------



## RTrain

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> I mean, I don't know personally about paying for gift cards with credit cards. I was just making an assumption that for instance, a store like CVS, that has that whole gift card isle for a million different things from iTunes to restaurants, would probably accept a credit card as a form of payment. I misread what you wrote about it being a department store card.  CoinStar can "claim" up to 85% but when it comes down to it.... let's see what it actually is. I'm guessing not even half. But that's just my guess. for your benefit, I hope I'm wrong.
> 
> You have a macy's card. You can always buy something that's worth a pawn, and then borrow against it- then return it when you get it back.
> About the cigs- I live in a place where there's open-air market for everything right off the street. There's always demand for cigs.



Oh, I am not in the city, not far away, but don't feel like going into the city to cash in on the open air market like that. 

I will say, you can buy gift cards from at least one store with credit, that being Best Buy. I have a Best buy card and I was able to get the mac they offer, $200, with no interst for 6 months. I also alled coinstar who run the machines and asked what kind of exchange rate I'd get on a $200 best buy card. The broad on the line just decided to tell me 165 to 170 (or basically 85 % ) and not 'oh you might get that', she said that I would get that much, so I wasn't fully confident on that much but I figured minimum 75% if she's saying that. Well I got the card, went to a coinstar kiosk and what do you know, $132 for the $200 card. Well I needed the cash so I did it. I was lucky and fell upon $100 this morning that I wasn't expecting, so didn't need as much as a was anticipating. 

But that was 66% in cash for the value of the card, for a gift card from one of the most popular stores you can think of. Just makes me wonder, when would you ever get near 85%, who's D do you have to S to get that rate? The $30 less than I was told wasn't even what pisses me off, its the customer service basically just reciting info I could find online... but even worse, she said it like it was a fact I'd get that much. If she said "you could get $165, but I can't be sure" well thats honesty(even though its no better than what I can read online), but to tell me it like that _is_ the going rate, well that's just laziness and poor customer service. Also disloyalty to their "customers", because that is basically luring a person in with a lie. If I called any store and they told me an item was 132 and I get there and they are charging 165, I think I'd be pretty pissed off. Not much different of a situation.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

I mean, you can't really be mad at that. TBH i'm surprised you got that much.


----------



## standupthenfall

I go to Philly a lot


----------



## Hell~

The first time that I experienced that warm and fuzzy feeling was on a whim. 

I was 17 and had a bad day, so i called my buddy who had the hookup. He said he'd do it for free.
I had never taken a Norco 10 before that time, mind you. I was completely unaware of what I was about to endure. 

I asked him if I could eat it or smoke it or snort it, but he insisted that I bang, telling me that "any other way is a waste."
So I guess I had to be down.
I'd already been prepared. Had a clean, unused rig, and let him work with the powder and spoons and fire, and, yeah.

So he stuck the point of that needle into the cigarette filter and pulled, told me to sit under him. He couldn't find a vein at first, until another friend if mine tied a belt around malt arm. After applying the makeshift torniquet, the only issue was my nervous shaking.
I relaxed my arm and looked down at it. I felt a small poke and watched as he drew my blood, and then, there it was..
Bam.
Well, not exactly..
I Sat there about 5 seconds later not feeling it. My buddy suggested I stand up, so I did.

"I don't feel anyth- mmmmff...uck.."

I pretty much fell into the wall, just taking in that amazing, irreplaceable rush.
I sat down and smoked the best damn cigarette ever.

My voice wad very soft and my eyelids and feet were heavy. I sat on the couch watching my pal's girlfriend play a video game, which was a bit difficult because my eyes kept rolling every which way.

I felt nauseated and did throw up outside, but I expected that, and it's nothing that would ruin the high, (or any high for that matter).

The ride home wad of course beautiful and a bit "existential," if I were to put it in words.  Looking out the window and rubbing against the seat of the car.

I got home and was sweating profusely. My grandmother pointed this out. I just told her that it was warm in his car. (Yea I know. )

I layed in my bed all night, with no desire or intention to sleep.
For some reason, an American Dad scene kept playing in my head... the one where he takes pills that hive him energy, and he says, "wow, I feel really good. Not jittery, but, wired. I feel like I drank a small coffee at 7pm."
It's beyond me why that was what I thought about all night, while rubbing against my sheets and being more thankful for blankets than I ever have been in my life. 

I have snorted it occasionally since then, probably once, or twice a year. I'd suggest that if you're going to do it, just be careful. 

I personally had an amazing time and have a special place in my heart for smack.


----------



## MMT

Rastarish206 said:


> How come? Are you not using currently? Sorry if you've been over this, I'm new to actually joining the conversation here. Anyone else around from the nyc area?



It basically boils down to 15 years of take home methadone and losing your connections,the biggest downside of MMT. So here I sit,in a lo dose methadone holding pattern,waiting for Mr./Mrs. right to come along. It's not that I hav'nt been trying,I just won't be middled to death for crappy dope. I guess I'm just stubborn like that.


----------



## cj

I got wasted on bars yesterday and quit my job after an altercation with a coworker oops. 

Yeah and the constipation from methadone is easier to manage than from suboxone for me which seems ass backwards


----------



## smokemctoke420

Bars will do that to you. And if you dont quit you will jyst get fired anyways. Lol


----------



## Jabberwocky

I always find it funny when I see someone write about their "first time" and they remember EVERYTHING! man, all these drugs havent fucked up your brain/memory!? I could NOT TELL YOU when I first tried dope; not even my first time shooting it. I dont remember the first time I got high or anything; I was already addicted to pills before moving to dope, so its not like it was anything new, but have NO MEMORY WHATSOEVER of the time I bought or first shot. 

anyway, I hate when I take a suboxone in the AM and later that night I get my dealer calling me for a deal, or bump into the wrong person, and end up buying a G and fucking wasting it. I hate 8MG bupe around 11AM today and already shot through a G of dope since 9PM and feel next to nothing. yes, SLIGHT rush on the 2 shots but NOTHING after.


----------



## cj

smokemctoke420 said:


> Bars will do that to you. And if you dont quit you will jyst get fired anyways. Lol



I know right? Oh well shit happens I suppose


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

Veteran, still dabbling
NYC is still as strong as it ever was
God Bless delivery services, and suboxone for when I need to come back down to Earth
over and out


----------



## Jabberwocky

delivery is the best; I get it ALWAYS. sure, I pay a BIT more, but I dont have to worry or leave the fucking house.


----------



## Monchhichi

BostonBrownTown said:


> I always find it funny when I see someone write about their "first time" and they remember EVERYTHING! man, all these drugs havent fucked up your brain/memory!? I could NOT TELL YOU when I first tried dope; not even my first time shooting it. I dont remember the first time I got high or anything; I was already addicted to pills before moving to dope, so its not like it was anything new, but have NO MEMORY WHATSOEVER of the time I bought or first shot.
> 
> anyway, I hate when I take a suboxone in the AM and later that night I get my dealer calling me for a deal, or bump into the wrong person, and end up buying a G and fucking wasting it. I hate 8MG bupe around 11AM today and already shot through a G of dope since 9PM and feel next to nothing. yes, SLIGHT rush on the 2 shots but NOTHING after.



HA I know!!!!  Used to happen to me all the time while on Subutex.  I used to tell my dude, call me but tell me it won't be available for 48 hours after you call.  Otherwise I might as well bang water and get the same effect.


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

I first tried dope 14 years ago, at around age 21.. And I was opiate-naive at the time, so I remember a lot of that first experience. It was heavenly, and since I had very little similar experience to compare it to, I remember thinking it was "like weed, in the sense that i feel a veil between me and the world, but without the annoying anxiety and paranoia that almost always accompany weed, and instead a warmth and confidence and a suppression of cares and anxieties."  Funny, it's pretty spot on, and why I continue to dabble here and there. I'm basically self-medicating long-term anxiety and depression with this drug (well, both heroin and cocaine -- speedballs have become the standard IV for the last 6 years -- all the warmth and confidence, without the annoying and productivity-sapping nods). But if I had to do it all over again, I'd probably steer clear. This shit has cost me in so many ways over the last decade-and-a-half.  Really isn't worth it in the end.

And re: shooting dope while on buprenorphine... I haven't done this in a long time, because i've become a bit more disciplined about when i use dope versus bupe, but on the last few occasions when i shot dope while already on 8mg of bupe, it went right through the bupe and got me properly high. It really depends on the amount of dope, the quality, and route of administration. For some users, all it might take of some of this NYC powder is two bags, and it will leave you leaning for hours against random parked cars, even if you're on 8mg of bupe.


----------



## ssstteeepppphhh

Hola everyone.  Been cruising this site for awhile,  finally posting.  A bit stressed out because I have nothing for the morning which I absolutely hate being in this position but here I am.  I think I have a plan for when I wake up though,  just not sure if I can execute it or not yet.  Reminds me of when I was in this shit a lot deeper and I never could save anything for morning but lately I've managed to so I'm a little scared to go to bed knowing what awaits me in the morning.  Ah well.  Hopefully posting in this thread will be just as entertaining as reading it. Nice to meet everyone!


----------



## woamotive

Oh my gosh, I haaaate that. Not having shit for the morning IS scary.  Its not a good feeling. :S I know what you mean when you say you don't wanna go to bed for fear of what awaits you in the morning... iiiiick.

I have a shot for tomor morning then tomorrow night. Then I'm going to switch back over to suboxone. At least that's the plan. I just don't know how I feel about that. Heroin just feels so good. Sure, the game sucks... sucks the life right out of you.

Anyway, I'm waiting for a friend to come over with a fair amount of coke.: Gonna IV mostly. He can't hit, though so I have to... which makes me a little uncomfortable. Its a little late on a Thursday to be shooting coke... I hope I get enough sleep to function at work!


----------



## ssstteeepppphhh

I woke up feeling like death of course and the plan that I had went to shit when the person I was counting on to pick up their phone wasn't answering so that would have made me extremely angry except I didn't have the energy to really react. Meh,  but thank god someone came thru to help a girl out and although I'm def not high,  I am most certainly off Ë. Thank the lord for that =) I need to find some subs because that was unbearable.  Hope everyone has a great day!


----------



## Monchhichi

woamotive said:


> Oh my gosh, I haaaate that. Not having shit for the morning IS scary.  Its not a good feeling. :S I know what you mean when you say you don't wanna go to bed for fear of what awaits you in the morning... iiiiick.
> 
> I have a shot for tomor morning then tomorrow night. Then I'm going to switch back over to suboxone. At least that's the plan. I just don't know how I feel about that. Heroin just feels so good. Sure, the game sucks... sucks the life right out of you.
> 
> Anyway, I'm waiting for a friend to come over with a fair amount of coke.: Gonna IV mostly. He can't hit, though so I have to... which makes me a little uncomfortable. Its a little late on a Thursday to be shooting coke... I hope I get enough sleep to function at work!



I've found that when running out, that last bit never works because the fear of waking up feeling like shit overpowers anything good you could feel.


----------



## Tristan1988

WOA, you got this! Although I don't recommend the white as that is gonna make coming down and getting off the other stuff suck tenfold worse trust me, ive been at hat crossroad time and time before and am done with that unless there is a large opioid supply on hand and even then it still is not worth it at all for such the minimal pleasure v.  Pain ratio.. Be strong girl you got this!


----------



## cj

I haven't had dope in 7 days. I have just been smoking weed for the most part. Though I have taken 1mg of Xanax 2 times this week. I thin that's pretty damn good myself. Quitting my job was the best thing I could have done for my mental health. I'm just not ready for a 40 hour week job and the pressure that comes with it. I'm gonna find part time work and keep on doing therapy and methadone. I've decided that my recovery needs to be on my terms and my timeline. I'm blessed that my family is on board with that.

I know I'm still probably on the methadone pink cloud a little bit because I still feel it when I dose everyday. But it is so much better than my experience with suboxone. Not only do I not have cravings I actually get the warm glow feeling I never ever got from sub. I may change my mind later but so far methadone is the best treatment decision I have made since I started opiates.


----------



## jeebis

hey crimson, good for you. really.

and long time no post, team nod. i've been really cutting back on getting shit. ive been trying to afford my ticket and transportation to Camp Bisco this year + i did not want to have to have heroin for the weekend. i've been trying to use as little as possible and supplement what i can with benzos.

however, i just got a free half gram of some killer dark brown dope + 8 10mg valium for free so you bet your ass im hopping on team nod for the night. do some dabs of this sour diesel crumble and call it a night. 

how have all y'all been?


----------



## Monchhichi

crimsonjunk said:


> I haven't had dope in 7 days. I have just been smoking weed for the most part. Though I have taken 1mg of Xanax 2 times this week. I thin that's pretty damn good myself. Quitting my job was the best thing I could have done for my mental health. I'm just not ready for a 40 hour week job and the pressure that comes with it. I'm gonna find part time work and keep on doing therapy and methadone. I've decided that my recovery needs to be on my terms and my timeline. I'm blessed that my family is on board with that.
> 
> I know I'm still probably on the methadone pink cloud a little bit because I still feel it when I dose everyday. But it is so much better than my experience with suboxone. Not only do I not have cravings I actually get the warm glow feeling I never ever got from sub. I may change my mind later but so far methadone is the best treatment decision I have made since I started opiates.



I wish methadone would have worked for me.  One of my cars blew up when I had been on MMT for about 6 months.  The stupid clinic I went to would not give take homes under any circumstances before 6 months even though I had IDF screens each time, went to counseling, proved I had a family and had to drive at least 45 miles each way to get there before they shut the clinic down at 12:00 P.M.  When I missed three days in a row, they cut my dose down drastically and then put me on AWD.  Oh my gosh, the fucking absolute hell that ensued was enough to scare me into trying Subutex and doing whatever I could to stay clean.  The only thing Subutex didn't do for me was stop the cravings and the grimy bullshit thinking (what family member can I lie to get money, how do I get my doctor to up my script, etc).  I still shot dope while on Subutex as if I'd never stopped.  Methadone actually helped me stay away from dope.  It helped me get my life back together.  The strict rules, though, were a joke.  That might be fine to someone not working or single without kids but not a woman who, at the time, had a husband and 3 children to care for.


----------



## cj

Monchhichi said:


> I wish methadone would have worked for me.  One of my cars blew up when I had been on MMT for about 6 months.  The stupid clinic I went to would not give take homes under any circumstances before 6 months even though I had IDF screens each time, went to counseling, proved I had a family and had to drive at least 45 miles each way to get there before they shut the clinic down at 12:00 P.M.  When I missed three days in a row, they cut my dose down drastically and then put me on AWD.  Oh my gosh, the fucking absolute hell that ensued was enough to scare me into trying Subutex and doing whatever I could to stay clean.  The only thing Subutex didn't do for me was stop the cravings and the grimy bullshit thinking (what family member can I lie to get money, how do I get my doctor to up my script, etc).  I still shot dope while on Subutex as if I'd never stopped.  Methadone actually helped me stay away from dope.  It helped me get my life back together.  The strict rules, though, were a joke.  That might be fine to someone not working or single without kids but not a woman who, at the time, had a husband and 3 children to care for.


I totally agree with you about the rules being very unrealistic. I'll never get take homes because I smoke weed. The part that really bothers me is the cost. It's 16 dollars a day here which adds up to more than 5 grand a year. 

Thanks for the kind words Jeebis! I hope your doing well.


----------



## subotai

i got my 2nd vivitrol shot exactly a week ago and was reading about how suboxone has a higher affinity than naltrexone so I decided to try and shoot up some suboxone and I actually do have a slight buzz. and I havent done nothing all day, no benzos, no weed, nothin.

and I definitely feel a little buzz going

it's sad that I consider this a big deal in my life


----------



## cj

subotai said:


> i got my 2nd vivitrol shot exactly a week ago and was reading about how suboxone has a higher affinity than naltrexone so I decided to try and shoot up some suboxone and I actually do have a slight buzz. and I havent done nothing all day, no benzos, no weed, nothin.
> 
> and I definitely feel a little buzz going
> 
> it's sad that I consider this a big deal in my life



I always thought suboxone would break through the vivitrol because of its insane binding affinity. I think Fent would break through it as well. Not that I'm advocating you doing that. If you do the sub again remember that less is usually more if you want a rush.


----------



## subotai

I had to shoot 4mg to feel anything


----------



## Jabberwocky

subotai said:


> it's sad that I consider this a big deal in my life



sad but true. its sad that we would even get a vivitrol shot to stop us from using and then try to find the drugs to break through the shot. we are sick fucking people, right? seriously, we are fucking insane w/ what we do and how we go about it.


----------



## jeebis

it's a self fulfilling prophecy. you get the shot because you feel shitty about the dope use> but then you feel worthless you need the shot to begin with > youre only coping mechanism is drugs > you feel shitty enough that youre doing drugs > you get the shot.

substitute subs, 'dones, whathaveyou for the vivitrol. 

every single one of us is plagued by a hyperactive comprehension of reality...kinda like the South Park episode where stan starts drinking. everything is shit. everything sounds like shit, tastes like shit, looks like shit, its shit. 

the only time we ever get clean is when we find something (atleast in the short term) that makes us happier. usually its a person/job/etc. however, we know that heroin is like our mothers (sans any mommy issues you have). it's warm, comforting, and will always be there. the only issue is that its far easier to get/do heroin than it is to get out of it.

fuck, how many times do i post "trying to get clean," then disappear, then come back high as a motherfucker.

it's a worse cycle than a female's goddamn period.

since sunday. its been heroin, monday i hooked up with a female and didnt want dope, and now today i didnt even go to work. im just chewing valium and trying 
 to find any way to get heroin short of sucking a dick. 

fucking more power to the ones that truly break the cycle. all i do is step away long enough for good shit to build up to the point that i can destroy it.

we're a hyperintelligent, very emotional, VERY fucked up group of people. 

feel free to correct me if i didn't hit the nail on the head with this post. or maybe its just all the valium, klonopin, and weed in me right now. idk anymore.


----------



## Jabberwocky

dude, thats a great post.. and you surly hit it right on the head. I love your reference to South Park; that was a great episode, and its so spot on. everything around me is shit. ha. 

and you mention the only time we get clean; well, I've never been clean. not for more than 5 days, and those 5 days I was in detox and was taking drugs to get me off the dope as is; so it was far from clean. for the last 10 years, maybe more, I have always been on some type of drug; if not heroin, its something to block the use of heroin, like suboxone or methadone, both which are drugs themselves but something given to me at such a cheap price I can afford to take it daily.


----------



## subotai

I dont stop doing drugs I just cycle them around with benzos being the somewhat constant

do I feel bad about it?..... not really, but I guess you could say im selfish. but only because ive been forced to because of how heroin is looked at by society

when im high I will give you the shirt off my back and listen to your problems for as long as you want

when im not, I dont know you and dont care to know you.

I wish I could just take the positive effects of my heroin use and have that without, you know, fucking my life up and everything, but I cant

so I do it

and it feels good. and its easy to get. and that feels good.

so fuck it

and I like to shoot up, that's just become exciting in and of itself. watching the blood just shoot into the barrel, its kind of visually appealing in a way if you dont mind blood. or like just jerkin the thing around in your arm trying to hit a vein, I used to be afraid of needles and now I just dont care. and that feels kind of good too.


----------



## Jabberwocky

the minute you see that blood you are already HIGH before you even push.


----------



## woamotive

Ohhhh heroin. Poison. The cure. Lover, but abusive as hell. I stay in the relationship because its what I know. I'm most comfortable when I'm on h, and have another shot on deck. I can't seem to let go! I got on sub again last night/early morning and then Fucking shot some h around noon. Waiting for a friend to finish some employment tour and then call me to let me know if he can spare another shot. Id like to save it for tomor morning but my will is weak. We'll see.

I used to only need to wait 16hours to dose sub... but for whatever reason this last tine I had to wait 30some hours. That suuuucks. Here I go again. Anyone have any idea why w/Ds are taint longer to increase severity? I hate it! That's a long wait! Is it maybe Cuz the h lately has longer legs?


----------



## Monchhichi

jeebis said:


> all i do is step away long enough for good shit to build up to the point that i can destroy it.
> 
> we're a hyperintelligent, very emotional, VERY fucked up group of people.
> 
> feel free to correct me if i didn't hit the nail on the head with this post. or maybe its just all the valium, klonopin, and weed in me right now. idk anymore.



SO TRUE!  It kills me to see how many of us come back even after we've repaired the broken relationships, repaid the debts and asked for forgiveness for the lies.



BostonBrownTown said:


> the minute you see that blood you are already HIGH before you even push.



Yep.  It's guaranteed to make the withdrawal go away before the dope even enters my system.


----------



## cj

jeebis said:


> it's a self fulfilling prophecy. you get the shot because you feel shitty about the dope use> but then you feel worthless you need the shot to begin with > youre only coping mechanism is drugs > you feel shitty enough that youre doing drugs > you get the shot.
> 
> substitute subs, 'dones, whathaveyou for the vivitrol.
> 
> every single one of us is plagued by a hyperactive comprehension of reality...kinda like the South Park episode where stan starts drinking. everything is shit. everything sounds like shit, tastes like shit, looks like shit, its shit.
> 
> the only time we ever get clean is when we find something (atleast in the short term) that makes us happier. usually its a person/job/etc. however, we know that heroin is like our mothers (sans any mommy issues you have). it's warm, comforting, and will always be there. the only issue is that its far easier to get/do heroin than it is to get out of it.
> 
> fuck, how many times do i post "trying to get clean," then disappear, then come back high as a motherfucker.
> 
> it's a worse cycle than a female's goddamn period.
> 
> since sunday. its been heroin, monday i hooked up with a female and didnt want dope, and now today i didnt even go to work. im just chewing valium and trying
> to find any way to get heroin short of sucking a dick.
> 
> fucking more power to the ones that truly break the cycle. all i do is step away long enough for good shit to build up to the point that i can destroy it.
> 
> we're a hyperintelligent, very emotional, VERY fucked up group of people.
> 
> feel free to correct me if i didn't hit the nail on the head with this post. or maybe its just all the valium, klonopin, and weed in me right now. idk anymore.


Lot of truth in this post. You got a way with words man.


----------



## zephyrhigh

Well I'm back .... All it took was an old friend calling me and like the addict I am made two stops 1for rigs 2for dope.... Not only was it exactly what I wanted but as quickly as I started old habits my only connect in bham stole my money and fucked me over now here I am again using with no connect or way of connecting uggghh


----------



## chefman

That sux zeph


----------



## zephyrhigh

Hell yeah it sucks....


----------



## zephyrhigh

On another note cj still up for that cup of coffee???


----------



## cj

zephyrhigh said:


> On another note cj still up for that cup of coffee???[/QUOTE
> 
> Pm sent


----------



## jeebis

thanks for the kind words about my post, guys. it makes me feel a *little* less like i wasted a full ride through a prepschool then a full ride through college.

but once again, im sitting here busting out bags on my laptop, listening to some Disco Biscuits, just popped 3 mg of klonopin, and am chainsmoking the very rare and legendary haze strain Liberty Haze (the real one, not the bougie ass seeds you see online). super silver haze x real ny sour diesel. 

im hoping today is my last time with dope though. ive finally gotten back with the absolutely love of my life. i would be ecstatic to marry this girl but she deserves better than me. so i need to be better for her. 

luckily she's also down as fuck, loves Phish, ketamine, and has huge benzo/adderall scripts + has known me for years/used to be a dope head her self so she atleast understands my struggle. luckily she cant smoke weed so i dont have to share that....unless its the super strong CO2 shatter i get. fastest method i know to make the panties drop, lol. 

but like i said before....the only thing that will remotely stop us is someone or something who makes us happier than heroin does.


----------



## subotai

I hear you on the Liberty Haze jeebis im about to get some of that myself. I thought I would have it today but no luck so I wound up just helping my friend get some bags down the city in exchange for 2 8mg sub strips. 

I introduced my friend to my dealer and he was like "yeah I can meet you up the road if you want, or just dont wear what youre wearin every time"

and I didnt even think of it but my friend had literally came straight from work and was in a collared shirt and khakis whereas I was in jeans, a raggly t shirt, and rock a goatee. 

so we get his shit, I get my dude to hook him up because I told him he'd probably buy more tomorrow (he wont), and he shoots up right where we parked down the road a bit (not my idea but w/e) and he's like "Im a good driver when Im fucked up" and then he puts the shifter in drive and im just like

"dude, you didnt even start the car"

and we're just rolling towards this minivan in front of us and im like BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE

and he caught it just in time. so he drives me 3 minutes down the road to the chinese store to get my suboxone. the guy straight stays in the chinese restaurant and sells suboxone like he must have some kind of agreement with the owners.

so after that we stop in a McDs parking lot because I have to shoot my shit and then my friend says "I think im gonna do 2 more"

and I cant say shit because im shooting suboxone next to him so im just like "yeah go for it dude"

so as we're leaqvin McD's he nearly sideswipes another minivan and im sitting there like "fuck dude I hope this kid has a tolerance"

but we were all good, just a bit of swerving but no accidents. We stopped by the transportation center because I told him I had 75 cents in my pocket and could get a lucy and he was fiending for a cig all day. 

So im at the transportation center and there's literally cops everywhere. no idea why but they were there. so I go into the Dunkin Donuts to make it look like im doing something and as im going in the guy coming out is like "lucys, lucys" and I was like "yo turn right back around I got you"

and lucies are only 50 cents but I just gave him the 75 because I didnt feel like counting anything

so we split the newport and he dropped me off at my house and the entire ride home he just kept asking me about his Apple computer that wasnt working and I must have told him like 50 times "yeah id have to look at it really" and he just kept talking about it because he wants to sell it for dope money.

by the time im home from work tomorrow I better be high as shit on some tree or im just going to wind up drinking this pint of Smirnoff I have laying around

at least you can get high jeebis, im still on vivitrol so suboxone is the only thing that will get me a _really_ slight buzz


----------



## cj

Weed becomes so much more important once I quit doing dope. I was for real freaking that I might run out this weekend before I finally found so e from a random aquantence.


----------



## RTrain

Monchhichi said:


> I've found that when running out, that last bit never works because the fear of waking up feeling like shit overpowers anything good you could feel.



I feel you there. I often will sit there and save a "get well" dose just for the morning if I can get more the next day. Then even if shit gets delayed the day won't be horrible. But, then I'll be sitting there close to bed time and look at the little I plan to save, I think 'not worth, might as well get real high now'. 

So then I do it and leave myself nothing for the next day. I just did what is probably 50% larger than my average dose...Yet, I won't get a good high. I just decided to leave myself nothing for the next day and that mind fuck takes over and brings you down, ruining the high. 

Very similar is if I need to take a $ or tolerance break and I know it'll be the last high I have in a while. I always do more, and it always seems I don't get as high as I was anticipating. In that case the fear of switching to Subs and waiting until I'm sick enough, plus the couple days I will be mildly sick, will take away from my last high. I think it s a combo of over expectations for getting high that one last time and dreading how once this wears off I am sick for a day or 2.


----------



## RTrain

RTrain said:


> I feel you there. I often will sit there and save a "get well" dose just for the morning if I can get more the next day. Then even if shit gets delayed the day won't be horrible. But, then I'll be sitting there close to bed time and look at the little I plan to save, I think 'not worth, might as well get real high now'.
> 
> So then I do it and leave myself nothing for the next day. I just did what is probably 50% larger than my average dose...Yet, I won't get a good high. I just decided to leave myself nothing for the next day and that mind fuck takes over and brings you down, ruining the high.
> 
> Very similar is if I need to take a $ or tolerance break and I know it'll be the last high I have in a while. I always do more, and it always seems I don't get as high as I was anticipating. In that case the fear of switching to Subs and waiting until I'm sick enough, plus the couple days I will be mildly sick, will take away from my last high. I think it s a combo of over expectations for getting high that one last time and dreading how once this wears off I am sick for a day or 2.





crimsonjunk said:


> Weed becomes so much more important once I quit doing dope. I was for real freaking that I might run out this weekend before I finally found so e from a random aquantence.



No kidding, I burn down a bone or two a day when I am off h. On it I don't even feel a need for weed. Not completely opiate clean, on subs, but I am bored when just chilling w/ only subs, so weed helps a lot.

edit: oops, kinda high right now and f'd up trying to add a second post to my first one.


----------



## jeebis

i will ALWAYS have weed. period. i could be in the middle of withdrawal and the last of my money goes towards weed.

moved from liberty haze to some secret sour (LA Confidential x NY sour diesel).  but yea. 

ive been trying to spend my money on other shit. instead of a ton of heroin i bought an ounces of the secret sour, like 25 2mg bars, 26 hits of some of the best/legit family fluff LSD, and some 4acodmt (favorite psyche of all time)

i feel like if im going to do drugs i might as well use usefull ones. plus my k dude is between shipments so i had to make due lol.


----------



## hayzee

So I am pretty new here, from Chicopee and recently moved back...  was on 72mg of done and missed a few days cuz I had a bug n basically slept 72 hours n the clinic booted me when I went back Thursday n said, "come back Monday. "  MONDAY! !!!  So basically screw yourself and your withdrawal. .. and today started back at motherfkn 20mg.  It's not even scratching the surface,  but it's all my fault for being sick n not knowing.   So now I'm back to trying to cop after having been free from H for over a year. ... feel like crap about this....


----------



## Jabberwocky

hayzee said:


> So I am pretty new here, from Chicopee and recently moved back...  was on 72mg of done and missed a few days cuz I had a bug n basically slept 72 hours n the clinic booted me when I went back Thursday n said, "come back Monday. "  MONDAY! !!!  So basically screw yourself and your withdrawal. .. and today started back at motherfkn 20mg.  It's not even scratching the surface,  but it's all my fault for being sick n not knowing.   So now I'm back to trying to cop after having been free from H for over a year. ... feel like crap about this....



wow, they really fucked you! when I was on the done they would allow me to miss 2 days but after that it would be a problem and they would drop me 5MG but ONLY 5MG, never all the way back down. I maxed out at 95MG before realizing that done was doing shit for me cuz I was still using almost daily. also hated going to the clinic and never could get take homes cuz I always pissed dirty, so I finally saw my bupe Dr. and now back on bupe.


----------



## hayzee

BostonBrownTown said:


> wow, they really fucked you! when I was on the done they would allow me to miss 2 days but after that it would be a problem and they would drop me 5MG but ONLY 5MG, never all the way back down. I maxed out at 95MG before realizing that done was doing shit for me cuz I was still using almost daily. also hated going to the clinic and never could get take homes cuz I always pissed dirty, so I finally saw my bupe Dr. and now back on bupe.



Oh yea they screwed me.  But I had been good for SO long, now I'm out of the game so I'm just fucked.  I can't believe they can do that and it be ok....


----------



## hman901

*Sourcing or asking where or how to get drugs is not allowed here at bluelight.*

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ines-for-the-forum-Please-read-before-posting

I did not ban this guy I guess one of the admins did since all his posts were just sourcing posts.


----------



## cj

hayzee said:


> Oh yea they screwed me.  But I had been good for SO long, now I'm out of the game so I'm just fucked.  I can't believe they can do that and it be ok....



Yeah they really fucked you. That's really not cool at all. Hope you can get well while they raise your dose back up.

I went up on methadone today to 110mg. I keep telling myself not to chase the warmth but it's hard when they are like do you want a dose increase? The opiate addict in me is like fuck yeah more drugs please!


----------



## hayzee

crimsonjunk said:


> Yeah they really fucked you. That's really not cool at all. Hope you can get well while they raise your dose back up.
> 
> I went up on methadone today to 110mg. I keep telling myself not to chase the warmth but it's hard when they are like do you want a dose increase? The opiate addict in me is like fuck yeah more drugs please!


Yea I kept going up but the started being tired so went down a little.  No where near this much tho!  I've never had trouble "getting better" but now that I'm in need of course it's nowhere to be found... my luck I guess.


----------



## Mzral

I have an appointment to get on the clinic next monday. I'm really torn between this decision I'm making. I'd like to ideally peak around 70mgs. I know two kids who have stayed at 70. One says he doesn't feel anything, yet he's running around with dope energy and catches nods, and the other one swears by it.


----------



## hayzee

It helped me function completely well.  But I know ppl who are on over 200mg...  it all depends.  They tell u over n over at the clinic not to think about it as a number, I know originally I stopped at 90 n went down.  I'm a pretty small chic so grown men generally stop higher, then again I had a rather large habit


----------



## woamotive

6 days since my last H shot. I haven't had weed for three weeks.... It sucks balls. Anxiety is through the roof. I did steal 2mg clonazepam from my brother (.... I do feel bad but C'MON!!). My friend is coming over in 20mins to shoot a bunch of coke which I'm always nervous about.... So I'm gonna save the klon til afterward.

It's hard getting off dope (esp without weed fo'real!!!). I was THISCLOSE to being able to pick some up last night then no sooner was that chance ripped out of my reach. FUCK! I wanted to cry, lol. .... Sad times. Should told this dude to bring a blunt. Since, that's how he smokes his herb. I think that's wasteful. I'd rather vape or use a pipe, or hitter. Then, I end up packing, repacking, packing, repacking. Haha.

I'm on sub now. 2mg roughly daily. Alternating between intranasally and IV. Took 40 hours after my last shot to be able to dose! Talk about horrible, and with no weed! Just gaba, lyrica, and seroquel. I have large tolerances to all of those so they were practically useless. Anyway... Take care fellow BLers.


----------



## cj

Mzral said:


> I have an appointment to get on the clinic next monday. I'm really torn between this decision I'm making. I'd like to ideally peak around 70mgs. I know two kids who have stayed at 70. One says he doesn't feel anything, yet he's running around with dope energy and catches nods, and the other one swears by it.


I was really nervous about getting on the clinic as well. I debated for weeks and even skipped two intake appointments. Now that I have been on it a few months I wonder why the hell I waited so long! Probably the best decision I've made in a long time. I don't crave dope anymore at all. I never thought I would say that.


----------



## Jabberwocky

its funny when youre a junkie but I havent used in 5 days and to me I think its a fucking TON and I am good as gold; its such a fucking sick disease, huh!? ha. I havent used in 5 days but still use 8-16MG/bupe/day and I am here thinking I am sober as can be and life has really turned around. its just whacky, right? 

I ran hard for the past 3 years and now finally NOT using daily, so although it seems like such little time and still heavy use, to me it seems much different.


----------



## RaZkaL86

Great news BBT!!! Keep it up and stay strong, save some do-re-mi...do you catch a buzz on the bupe?? I guess some ppl out there get high off it. I never have...


----------



## Jabberwocky

bad news, I fucking used today. fuck.


----------



## CfZrx

Can you describe the thought process that led to your use? Maybe you help me avoid shooting up like i sort of want to as soon asi see my doctor this month...


----------



## Jabberwocky

I told a girl to drop it off early cuz I planned on using tomorrow but I came home and just wanted to use so bad.


----------



## CfZrx

ok. i guess i learn to not keep drugs in my house? Was it awesome?


----------



## cj

Shit happens BBT. Don't let it bring you down.


----------



## Jabberwocky

dope was so killer, man. you have no idea; been using opiates since 00 and dope since 07 (same w/ shooting) and this stuff is by far best I had in that time. I usually buy a G and get 2-3 shots AT MOST out of a gram after all these years. usually shots are .5 or sometimes .3-.5. these shots are legit .2, if that. I am getting like 5-8 shots out of a bag and these MOFO's are knocking me out (well, not out but super hyper then the nod). I usually can blast through a gram in 2-3 hours easily but I STILL HAVE 2 shots left for today and already took one this morning. 

legit FIRE! and I hate when people say FIRE but I am saying FIRE cuz I never thought something would hit me like this; its like when I first started all over again, ha. luckily I am on suboxone and only using it once a week but I am taking 8MG bupe at 8AM and shooting this stuff at 9PM and its busting through w/ ease. imagine if I didnt take that bupe?


----------



## jeebis

this weekend was changing for me. i used on friday. but i finally spent like 3 days with my girl this weekend locked in her house with an 8ball of pure ketamine, 40+mgs of xanax and klonopin, an ounce of super silver haze. i have a shot. i have a real fucking shot. i have the support. i need to take this while i can. this girl loves me enough to give me her scripted benzos and her ketamine (she bought most of the ball), whenever i need it, to keep me on the straight and narrow. 

the look in her eyes after spending the nights with me completely off of dope when she said "i missed you. i love you. not that you, but this. i need you."especially when ive been fighting for her for years, says it all. 

im done yall. im done. i need to be. for my health. for my future. for my love. for my sanity. it's been real. as long as you dont hear from me i'll be doing good, not dead. pray for me, if youre religious, guys. i need all the support i can. this is the turning point. that fork in the road where i can grow up with either a good woman and responsible drug use, or slip back into heroin until i kill myself. 

thanks guys. i love y'all. i really do. if anyone cares enough to check up on me PM me. any and all support i can get is appreciated. ive posted some gnarly ass shit in my time here and spent tons of grody and sketchy fucking hours fucked up posting here. lets hope i can make it 

not to be a cliche, but just remember. Peace. Love. Unity. Respect. live by it and you might have a chance to actually live.


----------



## LSDiesel

PM sent jeebis


----------



## Mzral

crimsonjunk said:


> I was really nervous about getting on the clinic as well. I debated for weeks and even skipped two intake appointments. Now that I have been on it a few months I wonder why the hell I waited so long! Probably the best decision I've made in a long time. I don't crave dope anymore at all. I never thought I would say that.



My friend who is currently on the clinic is basically of the same consensus. I'm just not done with opioids and I need to curb cravings to use because if I fuck up and shoot dope, I'm done for. 

The feedback is much appreciated.


----------



## Mzral

jeebis said:


> this weekend was changing for me. i used on friday. but i finally spent like 3 days with my girl this weekend locked in her house with an 8ball of pure ketamine



That's were it's at. Did you IM, IV, or snort it? 

Hole?


----------



## jeebis

i sniff it or IM when i can/want. since im getting rid of dope im staying nasal permanently.

every regular in this thread knows that im the representative rave kid from Team Nod. i loves me my ketamine. especially since what i get is as close to pure as i can humanly get,,,,,except for my vials. those actually are pure lol.

and i know ive said it a million timess before, but ketamine will also get you out of physical dope withdrawl. sniff a good sized line and you should be good for about an hour and a half. it's not much but it sure as hell is little known fact that is an absolute godsend

and i prefer to flirt with the khole. just do slightly sub-khole doses. that's the best. ESPECIALLY when youre trying to use it as a club drug. although, dont get me wrong, i loves me the hole. it's my 4th favorite hole, outside of the 3 that belong to my girlfriend

and thank you, lsdiesel. your words mean alot.


----------



## subotai

good luck jeebis, hopefully that works out for you

im in the exact opposite boat... counting the days until I can get high


----------



## cj

Mzral said:


> My friend who is currently on the clinic is basically of the same consensus. I'm just not done with opioids and I need to curb cravings to use because if I fuck up and shoot dope, I'm done for.
> 
> The feedback is much appreciated.


Sounds like methadone is custom made for your situation then.


Jeebis. You can do it man. I mean you couldn't really ask for a better withdrawal med kit than that right? Weed,benzos,ketamine, and pussy. Yeah I'd go to that rehab.


----------



## Jabberwocky

jeebis said:


> every regular in this thread knows that im the representative rave kid from Team Nod. i loves me my ketamine. especially since what i get is as close to pure as i can humanly get,,,,,except for my vials. those actually are pure lol.


I used to be a "club kid" myself and have a question for yeah: I am 32yrs old now and back in 01-04 I was hitting 24hr afterhour clubs all around NY, esp. this one club called Sound Factory w/ Jonathan Peters which was known for the music, the drugs, and the killer sets he would put together running 15+ hours easily; one NYE he ran for 25hrs -- imagine? yes, a lot of crystal meth that night, lol

but anyway, is the K anywhere near what it once was back in 01? Talking about the Tokyo K. that stuff was SO FUCKING KILLER and was only 2 quarters for a vial. I have not done K since I got arrested back in 2004, not even a small bump. unfortunately, my drugs have changed to opiates, and opiates hard, although I was doing them back then, it was nothing like now. 

so how is the K nowadays? anything like it was w/ Tokyo? not sure if youre old enough to even know, or maybe never used or wasnt into the scene then, but figured I would ask. I hear all others say Tokyo kills the newer stuff but never someone who uses ALL THE DRUGS, including the dope. call me crazy, but ill take your opinion a bit further since you use EVERYTHING and not just 1 or the other. lol


----------



## jeebis

i know tokyo  k. now adays you have russian vials or indian vials that end up dried (or bought as vials.  ketaset). but at the same time there are tons of labs popping up putting out some serious shit. it's fucking phenominal. although know you see tons of analogues (ketamine, tiletamine, norketamine, etc) that get passed off as bags. rule of thumb: if your ketamine is a powder then its not ketamine. luckily i get verified tested ketamine. both the S isomer and the racemic forms.  

and i almost slipped today. almost. traded some lsd for klonopin and began drinking heavily. ugh. trying to get away.

now im smoking some bud and thanking everyone for the support.


----------



## Jabberwocky

if they are powder? why not? I used to cook mine into powder, whether it be by microwave, stove or any type of heat. I always sniffed, which is why I made powder. back in 01-04 I thought needles were for junkies, lol. only if I stayed thinking like that, huh!? oh well. but i never shot K and even if I were to get today I still would NOT use a needle for K since I do not have a good feel for it like I once did; of course, I say this now but I'd prob buy a vial and be shooting in 15 minutes, ha. 

good to hear there are some dope fiends hitting the K market (instead of k-mart, get it? I am so funny).


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

When you cook it down, yes it turns into a powder but not a fine power, more like a crystallized powder. Maybe that's the difference he means?


----------



## Jabberwocky

all this talk of K makes me want to do it; now only if I could find K again in this market.. not easy nowadays, esp. in Boston where everyone is a heroin addict and dying left and right. its not what it once was and even in the "club scene" people are just doing opiates.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Go see the disco biscuits.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

i can't stop.


----------



## cj

The last two nights I have had dreams where I was trying to do heroin. 

In the one last night I was riding in a black SUV with 4 of my friends. The friends where ones I had in high school who I am no longer close with. At the beginning of the dream we where pulling into a strip mall parking lot that looked familiar to me but I couldn't quite place it. The driver asks me for my money as we pull in. Flash forward. We are now driving down a road I am familiar with in downtown Birmingham heading toward the interstate from a place I used to score at all the time. I am asking the people in the car to give me my dope. For some reason I am very agitated and I can't quite comprehend what the people are saying. I remember asking if we got ripped off. I feel panic at this point. Flash forward again we are on the interstate. I sense that the dope is in my possession but something is still wrong. I can't find a spoon or rig that's the problem!  Flash forward. I am cooking the shot in the spoon. I have it all set up and I am ready to shoot up. I sense that relief is close as finish drawing the solution into the rig. Then I am awake sitting strait up in my bed! No high. No heroin. Worst of all the clinic doesn't open for 5 more hours!


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

That's the fucking worst.


----------



## cj

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> That's the fucking worst.



The worst part is that I never get high in my dreams! It's always just the chase. I got blindsided by some very intense cravi GS the last 2 days. I do t know what the deal is. I haven't shot up in close to 40 days and my brain is starting to get antsy. The really sick part is that I know that I don't have enough money or the right drugs to bepreak thru 110 mg of methadone so it's pointless. Ehh hopefully it will pass soon. I'm just gonna smoke weed and watch Netflix until it does.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

crimsonjunk said:


> The worst part is that I never get high in my dreams! It's always just the chase.


Happening in jail is even worse.


----------



## cj

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> Happening in jail is even worse.



Yeah I imagine so. The longest I've spent in jail is like 72 hours and i knew i would be out soon thankfully. But I can imagine. Shit I hate rehab. I get all pissed off at the lack of freedom and close quarters after just a couple days. I can only imagine how bad it would be in jail. Especially kicking a habit. I try to stay out of anything illegal now that I'm on methadone because I am terrified of having to CT this shit in lockup. Down here they will just let you die and not really give a fuck about it. There on some maybe this will teach you a lesson shit. It's sick.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Yup, where I got picked off in the mid-west was just the same. Suffer junkie scum. Maybe a lot of it is ignorance though, because everyones' on meth out there but still. I guess it becomes way easier because you're set in the mind frame of "no way, not fucking happening"- but dem dreeaaaaaams man. PURE fucking torture. JUST like you said too, your just about too get high and then bam [sound the most annoying loudest siren ever] [sound most annoying voice ever: open cell block F] [wake up in a pile of sweat and want to kill yourself]


----------



## PriestTheyCalledHim

crimsonjunk said:


> Yeah I imagine so. The longest I've spent in jail is like 72 hours and i knew i would be out soon thankfully. But I can imagine. Shit I hate rehab. I get all pissed off at the lack of freedom and close quarters after just a couple days. I can only imagine how bad it would be in jail. Especially kicking a habit. I try to stay out of anything illegal now that I'm on methadone because I am terrified of having to CT this shit in lockup. Down here they will just let you die and not really give a fuck about it. There on some maybe this will teach you a lesson shit. It's sick.



That sucks.

Someone I know here in the NE got help when they were in jail and detoxing CT but they had other medical issues so that's probably why it happened. Since someone else I know who got put into jail when they were detoxing from opiates and other drugs did not get any medical help at all; but they were eventually transferred into a medical run detox/rehab center, and into a treatment program with NA/counseling, etc.


----------



## subotai

subotai said:


> i got my 2nd vivitrol shot exactly a week ago and was reading about how suboxone has a higher affinity than naltrexone so I decided to try and shoot up some suboxone and I actually do have a slight buzz. and I havent done nothing all day, no benzos, no weed, nothin.
> 
> and I definitely feel a little buzz going
> 
> it's sad that I consider this a big deal in my life



been 28 days as of 2pm.

im outta here
or as the local NHL play by play guy would say

SHOT.. SCOOORREEEE

or maybe I put that backwards. SCORE.. SHOOOOTTTTTTT

ah man I want to thank GOD, marijuana, klonopin, bluelight, and the NBA for making this go by faster

slater
brb, public bathroom


----------



## zephyrhigh

So Ive been offdope since the 26th I know it doesn't seem that long but I did it with only glass as a sub n not every day ..... I have a job in the pharmacy again and also a side job as a waitress... Unfortunately not off the rig just yet but its progress....


----------



## subotai

stuff and things


----------



## zephyrhigh

^annnnnnddd I just drooled a lil bit.... Fuck you sub.... Damn well deals done breaking my sober streak manana ugggghhh.... Fuck it


----------



## Jabberwocky

dark dope scares me; I love my boston white as a ghost fent powder dope.


----------



## gibby_420

BostonBrownTown said:


> dark dope scares me; I love my boston white as a ghost fent powder dope.


Brown SWA Asian dope is my favorite shit, long ass legs on that shit!
I used to get the shit all the time in Toronto, London too but had been stepped on again once or twice when it got here back in those days. Most of the best dope in my city now is tan SEA hard ass chunks. I can easily score 50%+ quality of this shit, a have been able to for about 6 years in less then 30 minutes if not from one dude there's a few more to call.


----------



## Jabberwocky

I've had some dark ass shit here too but never a as strong as the white shit nowadays; plus anytime I pull back I can hardly see the blood when its blacked out like that; when I have a nice crystal clear shot and see that blood come back my dick gets hard right away, ha. legit, its a beautiful thing to see that red take up the whole pin and BOOM, I am high as a motherfucker. 

damn, havent used in over a week. writing that will make me relapse, ha. last time I picked up the dope kinda sucked; I had fucking KILLER shit where a G would get me 6 shots but then last I bought a G got me 2 shots; shit got stepped on like a MOFO!


----------



## subotai

zephyrhigh said:


> ^annnnnnddd I just drooled a lil bit.... Fuck you sub.... Damn well deals done breaking my sober streak manana ugggghhh.... Fuck it





Sorry zephy I shouldn't really post pics like that its awfully triggering 

Even for me and im high right now

And yeah Boston I know what you mean. I could barely see the blood but I made it work


----------



## cj

I haven't shot dope in 45 days. The only thing I have to complain about is that my clinic has started harassing me about smoking weed. Talking about how they have to review whether im appropriate for treatment with the state after every 6 failed tests. It seems like I have another 6 months to figure out a way to get around the tests before it starts getting serious. But it's still stress that I really don't need right now. Oh well if they think I'm going to quit smoking they are fucking more delusional than I thought. The tests aren't supervised so I am formulating my plan. I just dont want to show my hand too early and make them suspicious. I figure if I make it seem like a struggle that I overcome it will only help me in the future. It sucks that drug treatment is such an adversarial situation. It would be awesome to have a counselor that I could always be honest with and not fret about the consequences. Maybe one day people will get a clue about how addicts should be treated. Till then it's a very us vs them kind of thing.

Happy nods you bunch of degenerates


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> I haven't shot dope in 45 days. The only thing I have to complain about is that my clinic has started harassing me about smoking weed. Talking about how they have to review whether im appropriate for treatment with the state after every 6 failed tests. It seems like I have another 6 months to figure out a way to get around the tests before it starts getting serious. But it's still stress that I really don't need right now. Oh well if they think I'm going to quit smoking they are fucking more delusional than I thought. The tests aren't supervised so I am formulating my plan. I just dont want to show my hand too early and make them suspicious. I figure if I make it seem like a struggle that I overcome it will only help me in the future. It sucks that drug treatment is such an adversarial situation. It would be awesome to have a counselor that I could always be honest with and not fret about the consequences. Maybe one day people will get a clue about how addicts should be treated. Till then it's a very us vs them kind of thing.
> 
> Happy nods you bunch of degenerates


congrats on the 45 days.. and fuck the clinic. the clinic around here (Boston) never cared if I smoked or shot, or came up dirty as a MOFO, as long as I showed up an my insurance paid, they were cool w/ it all. its kinda nice based on what I hear. 

now I go through a private bupe Dr. and hes the same way; as long as he gets his 140/mo/visit I can piss dirty for whatever and he's cool w/ it. even if I piss dirty for dope I just tell him I am still trying and he writes me my 2 months, 120/pill script. whatever, ill take it. ha. but this past test will be clean from dope but there will be weed and alcohol, oh well.. I just took a blood test this morning and drank a few beers and smoked hash last night. hey, its not dope or coke, so be happy.


----------



## cj

Yeah BBT that's the way my bupe doctor was. I wasnt drug tested the whole 4 years I saw him. Long as I had money shit was A ok.


----------



## Boiboigirl21

haven't used dope in a week because I moved to Atlanta and dont know anyone. I am thinking of using this as a way of staying clean. But its difficult.


----------



## Jabberwocky

Boiboigirl21 said:


> haven't used dope in a week because I moved to Atlanta and dont know anyone. I am thinking of using this as a way of staying clean. But its difficult.



consider yourself lucky, man.. stay fucking clean! stay in ATL as long as you can and never go back home or wherever you go that dope from again. its what makes me consider moving always but at the same time I have a zillion and one problems which is why I cant move.


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> Yeah BBT that's the way my bupe doctor was. I wasnt drug tested the whole 4 years I saw him. Long as I had money shit was A ok.



my man still drug tests me and will still ask WHY I USED but ill just be straight up and tell him; I told him I have NO INTENTION ON GETTING CLEAN I just want to stay off dope; which is actually true, to be honest.. sure, ill still shoot here and there but its cuz I am a sick fucking person, not cuz I want to spend $100 that day just to stick a needle in my arm. but if a girl wants to come over and blow some coke and fuck, then I am sure doing that. when I am out w/ my boys and a blunt is being passed, I am sure hitting that. when I am out at bar watching a game and beers are going around, I am sure drinking those. so yea, I have NO INTENTION ON BEING SOBER but I'd kill to NEVER USE DOPE AGAIN! I am stuck on bupe right now, obv.. but I'd even like to get OFF THIS SHIT if possible but still feel "good", ya know!?


----------



## Boiboigirl21

I recently visited home and copped hella dope and now that I'm out- I'm feeling horrible but I look at it as a good thing. I see myself trying to go cop aimlessly though.


----------



## subotai

My grandmother had the slightest fall yesterday (more of a controlled collapse) and my aunt got all worked up over it and subsequently wants to go cop dope today 

It took a lot to convince me to go


----------



## Jeffro9

BostonBrownTown said:


> I have NO INTENTION ON BEING SOBER but I'd kill to NEVER USE DOPE AGAIN! I am stuck on bupe right now, obv.. but I'd even like to get OFF THIS SHIT if possible but still feel "good", ya know!?



I tried for years to quit dope and meth but still do other stuff. 

Been clean 12 3/4 years now of everything including alcohol.

Is actually easiest way. Just give up getting high not an individual drug.

Each to own but worked for me.


----------



## Jabberwocky

^^ believe me, man.. I've tried, many times. even w/ that vivitrol shot but tried to shoot through that shit daily. bupe is the ONLY THING that works for me when it comes to opiates. some people say methadone, some people say vivitrol, well, its bupe/suboxone for me, thats for sure. methadone was a waste of time, 2 times, for many, many months at a time. I'd go to the clinic at 8AM and be buying dope by noon. just a fucking waste.


----------



## cj

Boiboigirl21 said:


> I recently visited home and copped hella dope and now that I'm out- I'm feeling horrible but I look at it as a good thing. I see myself trying to go cop aimlessly though.



Please be careful. The places in Atlanta you can cop dope at are in terrible areas.


----------



## axl blaze

you ever look into detox drinks, CJ? I sell that shit as a living and it does work. if they watch you pee than synthetic urine is out of the window, unless you want to get ballsy and get a piss-pack w/ a fake dick


----------



## cj

axl blaze said:


> you ever look into detox drinks, CJ? I sell that shit as a living and it does work. if they watch you pee than synthetic urine is out of the window, unless you want to get ballsy and get a piss-pack w/ a fake dick



I always kinda thought detox drinks where a scam but i wouldn't mind being proven wrong on that. And it's not observed so using clean piss is an option. The only trick is it has to test positive for methadone. So I'm either gonna have to bite the bullet get clean for a month and save up my own frozen urine. Or find someone on the clinic who's clean and get there piss. I don't see how synthetic urine would work since it has to be positive for methadone.


----------



## axl blaze

true - I did forget about that fact

detox drinks work. I mean, if they didn't, I wouldn't sell a holy fuck ton every day (I was skeptical at first, too)


----------



## gibby_420

^^ They do indeed if you buy the good ones. They make ones just for pot so watch out.
I've used these on a number of occasions and they flushed all the heroin, coke & pills outta me as advertised!
Follow the directions to a tee, drinking a shitload of water is one of these directions. These only give you a short window of a few hours so time it right and 
DO NOT start your piss in the cup, more shit in the beginning of the stream.


----------



## subotai

Im pretty fucked up right now

It took me 10 minutes to write that

Kept fat fingering the backspace and enter keys on this phone

And I nodded out standing up for about 8 minutes


----------



## Jabberwocky

subotai said:


> Im pretty fucked up right now
> 
> It took me 10 minutes to write that
> 
> Kept fat fingering the backspace and enter keys on this phone
> 
> And I nodded out standing up for about 8 minutes


lol


----------



## Boiboigirl21

Yes, I try to be as careful as can be when dealing with dope. It's a hit or miss when I go out aimlessly.


----------



## jeebis

I was doing really well for awhile until today. just slipped because someone gave me 3 bags for free. 

the only other time i've used for the past few weeks was last saturday night because i had JUST gotten home from going to Camp Bisco (where I lived off of heroic doses of ketamine, cocaine, LSD, MDMA, bud light (ew), and weed for 3 days) so my everything hurt and i was borderline brain dead lol. that night i went out and grabbed some xanax, hash oil, and half a bun. 

still had a great time at camp bisco. i've gone every year since 2010....except for last year when they didnt have it (and luckily i didnt go to the "replacement" festival Hudson Project...which turned into a mud-filled abortion apparently). i loves me some Disco Biscuits. i was thinking about going to City Bisco (the band's annual new years eve run in nyc) this year instead of my annual rave i go to (every year i need to dance my balls off on some LSD to ring in the new year....and fyi lsd > mdma for raves) since i've never been.

but how's my team nod doing? everyone good?


----------



## ramblin_rose

*Sorry, sourcing like this is not allowed.

Please read the forum rules: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ines-for-the-forum-Please-read-before-posting*

 There are people but they rat me out to my husband. I don't drink so I've got nothing.  ...but pot is ok for him to smoke (I don't smoke)....double standard bullshit.


----------



## SKL

I'm giving serious thought to relapsing. It's been 2 1/2 years or so since I quit suboxone, which I was on for close to 3 years, but now I'm more or less strung out on alcohol. I preferred heroin TBH. It was a better time in my life really. It feels as though things actually went goddamn downhill the less drugs I used and the more I reintegrated into straight society. Strange, really. Maybe what I'm really chasing is nostalgia. But I'm pretty sure that I'm going to _make the big decision_, as it's been put. I've made a few perfunctory ventures into some of the neighborhoods where me and my degenerate junkie friends used to hang out, and thought about cold copping, but don't really have the balls, and a lot of the straight up junkies I see look way too shifty and unstable. The whole scene has changed a shitton. Or maybe just me. I don't even know anymore. But I do know, pretty soon, in all likelihood, I will be joning our twisted little fraternity once more.


----------



## ChiRaqian

SKL said:


> I'm giving serious thought to relapsing. It's been 2 1/ years or so since I quit suboxone, which I was on for close to 3 years, but now I'm more or less strung out on alcohol. I preferred heroin TBH. It was a better time in my life really. It feels as though things actually went goddamn downhill the less drugs I used and the more I reintegrated into straight society. Strange, really. Maybe what I'm really chasing is nostalgia. But I'm pretty sure that I'm going to _make the big decision_, as it's been put. I've made a few perfunctory ventures into some of the neighborhoods where me and my degenerate junkie friends used to hang out, and thought about cold copping, but don't really have the balls, and a lot of the straight up junkies I see look way too shifty and unstable. The whole scene has changed a shitton. Or maybe just me. I don't even know anymore. But I do know, pretty soon, in all likelihood, I will be joning our twisted little fraternity once more.


Sleep on it bro. I have 7 months clean off dope, cravings hit me everyday (mostly at night) but waking up not fiending or in jail (for me) so far has proven worth it. As for the cold copping thing I get that too I moved from Chicago to a shady ass town south of Boston called NewBedford, fucking junkies everywhere but since I've sobered up A) cold copping or asking an assuming junky for help seems like it would end in me getting jack moved B) cold copping = who the fuck knows with the 5.0 and I ain't catching another charge... Idk dude. Life's going good dope free I still drink too. But alcohol for me is totally social... Dope was a fucked up love affair... Idk why I even think of that bitch still. Fuck


----------



## cj

SKL said:


> I'm giving serious thought to relapsing. It's been 2 1/2 years or so since I quit suboxone, which I was on for close to 3 years, but now I'm more or less strung out on alcohol. I preferred heroin TBH. It was a better time in my life really. It feels as though things actually went goddamn downhill the less drugs I used and the more I reintegrated into straight society. Strange, really. Maybe what I'm really chasing is nostalgia. But I'm pretty sure that I'm going to _make the big decision_, as it's been put. I've made a few perfunctory ventures into some of the neighborhoods where me and my degenerate junkie friends used to hang out, and thought about cold copping, but don't really have the balls, and a lot of the straight up junkies I see look way too shifty and unstable. The whole scene has changed a shitton. Or maybe just me. I don't even know anymore. But I do know, pretty soon, in all likelihood, I will be joning our twisted little fraternity once more.



If you do relapse try not to do it after you have been drinking. Also please start off with a very tiny amount as your tolerance will be back at zero. I also recommend you snort or smoke the dope instead of IV. It lessens the chance of OD. Also try to have someone with you just in case you do go out.

Nostalgia can be a bitch as we tend to only remember the good feelings. I have no doubt that drinking is a really shitty addiction though. O e thing that has worked for me In The past is replacing my bad drug use with weed. Like every time I crave just smoke a bowl. Anyway good luck and be careful. If you die you can't get high anymore.


----------



## subotai

Ive had the hiccups for the past 4 hour and I wish I was joking

I always get the hiccups when I do more dope than I needed to

Apparently I cooked dinner tonight


----------



## LSDiesel

Don't cook your shots, it's bad for the veins. Dope can be a satisfying supper though. Oh wait... there was no winky emoticon afterwards so maybe you actually meant actual dinner


----------



## Jabberwocky

ill always cook powder; shot feels 10x's better and.. if you ask me, it eliminates the junk! and our veins are tapped anyway, so might as well let off a hot shot.


----------



## Jabberwocky

LSDiesel said:


> Dope can be a satisfying supper though. Oh wait... there was no winky emoticon afterwards so maybe you actually meant actual dinner



ha.


----------



## jeebis

ahhhhhh fuck. there's an awesome rave coming to my city and im effectively trading tickets i dont have yet for dope.

fuck lol. but it's a pizza rave in a tiny club with Crizzly. about to preorder a fuckton of tickets and sell them, like i usually do. #hustlehustle


----------



## subotai

LSDiesel said:


> Don't cook your shots, it's bad for the veins. Dope can be a satisfying supper though. Oh wait... there was no winky emoticon afterwards so maybe you actually meant actual dinner



Yeah I actually grilled burgers and hot dogs last night I was being serious. I remember it more today than I did last night.

I had a slight miss in the crook of my arm and that made me go back to my forearm so now there's track marks again

I never cook any of my shots ftr


----------



## cj

Ugh I wanted to score so bad today.... It didn't work out. Will probably do it tommorow even though everyone keeps saying I won't feel it through 110mg of methadone. I don't even care. My weed dealer moved states today on a whim leaving me totally fucked. Today sucks man.


----------



## Rio Fantastic

crimsonjunk said:


> Ugh I wanted to score so bad today.... It didn't work out. Will probably do it tommorow even though everyone keeps saying I won't feel it through 110mg of methadone. I don't even care. My weed dealer moved states today on a whim leaving me totally fucked. Today sucks man.



I thought you were quitting man? You should keep up your resolutions, you keep making promises on this forum that you never keep. Find some strength, pal.


----------



## subotai

This thread is actually really really bad for bluelight.

 I mean, I have no problem watching myself be addicted, but it feels even worse to watch other people go through the same thing. 

And at the same time like yeah, this is life for people so why not talk about it but it just feels like we all know its not doing us a lot of favors but we're right back here

Im only 23 and it already feels like forever ago when I first used opiates but 5 years really isnt shit. It mainly just feels like that because my life is totally different now than it used to be. Im not really that different of a person, im just MIA. 

And it killed my desire to do anything. And I never really wanted to do a lot before I started using so you can imagine that's a bad combination

But I can push buttons like nobody's business


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

jeebis said:


> I was doing really well for awhile until today. just slipped because someone gave me 3 bags for free.
> 
> the only other time i've used for the past few weeks was last saturday night because i had JUST gotten home from going to Camp Bisco (where I lived off of heroic doses of ketamine, cocaine, LSD, MDMA, bud light (ew), and weed for 3 days) so my everything hurt and i was borderline brain dead lol. that night i went out and grabbed some xanax, hash oil, and half a bun.
> 
> still had a great time at camp bisco. i've gone every year since 2010....except for last year when they didnt have it (and luckily i didnt go to the "replacement" festival Hudson Project...which turned into a mud-filled abortion apparently). i loves me some Disco Biscuits. i was thinking about going to City Bisco (the band's annual new years eve run in nyc) this year instead of my annual rave i go to (every year i need to dance my balls off on some LSD to ring in the new year....and fyi lsd > mdma for raves) since i've never been.
> 
> but how's my team nod doing? everyone good?



Dude. I was at bisco!
Fuck that venue !
That was fucking ridiculous. 
Bus to tractor to hiking your shit. 
Where were you camped?
I personally prefer when the bikers ran it.
Anyway, city bisco was the 3 night run in sept at the trocadero, electric factory, and the Mann.


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

25 days clean....  and it's so fucking boring.  But I'm being super-productive and sorta enjoying my summer.

At the same time, however, I still catch myself thinking about copping regularly... And I don't even want a whole bundle.  All I want is a single bag and a little bit of coke, for a modest little speedball.  Is that too much to ask?

I'm about to wrap up probation..  And I'm counting down the days before I can unravel and indulge and watch my life spin out of control once again.  This fucking disease is unrelenting.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Just keep at it a little longer. That last stretch of time on probation is ALWAYS the time that matters most. It's always the time that you end up regretting acting on an impulse decision.


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> Just keep at it a little longer. That last stretch of time on probation is ALWAYS the time that matters most. It's always the time that you end up regretting acting on an impulse decision.



you're 1000% right.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

How much time do you have left/ how much time have you been on ?


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> How much time do you have left/ how much time have you been on ?



I should be wrapping up on Friday, barring any unforeseen complications... It is scheduled to end at the end of July 2015.  I was sentenced to 30 months of probation.


----------



## ramblin_rose

NJ2NYC2NJ said:


> I should be wrapping up on Friday, barring any unforeseen complications... It is scheduled to end at the end of July 2015.  I was sentenced to 30 months of probation.



One more day, that's all you have.


----------



## cj

I used today. It wasn't very satisfying. I think I am addicted to a drug that no longer works. Oh the irony. No big deal though back on the methadone tommorow.


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

I reported to probation today.
I was told that due to a dirty drug test from 2 months ago, I would be receiving a Violation of Probation sanction, and my probation is almost certainly going to be extended for some period of time... Might even have to do a short stint in county.
Currently fantasizing gloriously violent scenarios. God bless the War on Drugs.


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

crimsonjunk said:


> I used today. It wasn't very satisfying. I think I am addicted to a drug that no longer works. Oh the irony. No big deal though back on the methadone tommorow.



Yeah, it's comes down to diminishing returns over the long run. Loses most of its appeal, and the costs become prohibitive. Most people with half a brain in their head turn their lives around at that point..


----------



## subotai

Damn that sucks NJ, they could have at least told you sooner rather than let you feel like you were about to be done and slamming the metaphorical door in yourface.

That shouldn't be too long of a sentence though right? Prob somewhere in the 30-90 day range id imagine? Either way that is the exact type of shit the judicial system does that causes peopleto fall back into old habits

Its easy to say "fuck it" when you are being bent over yourself at every other turn

Crimson you kind of knew it wasn't going to work though. Ive done the same thing with vivitrol and I felt shitty in the immidiate aftermath but it was a necessary evil to prove to myself that I shouldn't even try to get high

Have you thought about tapering down off methadone? You dont want to be on that shit for too long man, everyone I talk to has nothing but negative things to say about it


----------



## Jabberwocky

subotai said:


> This thread is actually really really bad for bluelight.
> 
> I mean, I have no problem watching myself be addicted, but it feels even worse to watch other people go through the same thing.
> 
> And at the same time like yeah, this is life for people so why not talk about it but it just feels like we all know its not doing us a lot of favors but we're right back here
> 
> Im only 23 and it already feels like forever ago when I first used opiates but 5 years really isnt shit. It mainly just feels like that because my life is totally different now than it used to be. Im not really that different of a person, im just MIA.
> 
> And it killed my desire to do anything. And I never really wanted to do a lot before I started using so you can imagine that's a bad combination
> 
> But I can push buttons like nobody's business



then quit now then, kid. I am fucking 32 and still battling dope. I already gave up and know that I will at LEAST be on Suboxone for a long ass fucking time, even the rest of my life, I dont care.. its better than the dope fucking problem which is a whole diff. story. just fucking sickening just thinking of it. 

at least for me - all the money lost, people lost, things lost, license lost, 2 cars totaled, jail time, etc, etc. its just fucking sickening when you think about it. and the last time I shot anything was only 3 weeks ago but it feels like forever ago. and the sad part is that its been 3 weeks but I still have no intention to stop. rather than be happy and try to push this I just plan on using any day now. I take 12MG/bupe so I need to wait a day or so.


----------



## cj

subotai said:


> Damn that sucks NJ, they could have at least told you sooner rather than let you feel like you were about to be done and slamming the metaphorical door in yourface.
> 
> That shouldn't be too long of a sentence though right? Prob somewhere in the 30-90 day range id imagine? Either way that is the exact type of shit the judicial system does that causes peopleto fall back into old habits
> 
> Its easy to say "fuck it" when you are being bent over yourself at every other turn
> 
> Crimson you kind of knew it wasn't going to work though. Ive done the same thing with vivitrol and I felt shitty in the immidiate aftermath but it was a necessary evil to prove to myself that I shouldn't even try to get high
> 
> Have you thought about tapering down off methadone? You dont want to be on that shit for too long man, everyone I talk to has nothing but negative things to say about it



I actually upped my dose today. Here are down sides to the clinic but there are so many more downsides to being a raging junk box. This slip up was a wake up call. There are plenty of drugs to do besides opiates anyway. I want my life back. Concerts, friends, a job. Ect


----------



## jeebis

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> Dude. I was at bisco!
> Fuck that venue !
> That was fucking ridiculous.
> Bus to tractor to hiking your shit.
> Where were you camped?
> I personally prefer when the bikers ran it.
> Anyway, city bisco was the 3 night run in sept at the trocadero, electric factory, and the Mann.



i was camped way the fuck up in P. sucked going from the stages back up. and dont even get me started on the tractors. i was one of the people that got fucked wednesday night and just waited until thursday morning lol. 

and bisco in schenectady/mariaville was always amazing.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

I was at R  which was way the double fuck up there. 
The dude stumbling around Q with the pizza necklace lugged all my shit for me.  

By the time I got there there was literally no line. Had to wait for people to come before they'd take us over to the mountain. Sucka.


----------



## jeebis

i was there with a bunch of friends that i did the 3 hour drive with. befriended some dude that snuck in on thursday with a fucking backpack full of coke and ketamine and he just pretty much fed me for the weekend. that and the hippy chick walking around pushing the white lightning bolt presses. 

almost got into a fight with some dude selling the yellow pacman rolls that were a mediocre test result at best on my kit. that dude got pissed that i didnt want any overpriced garbage and was literally trying to get super aggro and shit. my god. im at a damn music festival. the last thing i want to do is get my ass beat (lets be real).

but i will say that the 2 highlights of the weekend were slow magic's set and the jackass that got on stage and fell into all of zoogma's shit. that had me DIEING when that happened. 

and i actually just told my heroin guy to not front me anything tonight/trade for concert tickets. #progress. too bad we all know its just temporary.....


----------



## phoebusl

Get a job.  It's actually "a lot easier" than "to steal shit and shoplift from stores."!


----------



## cj

phoebusl said:


> Get a job.  It's actually "a lot easier" than "to steal shit and shoplift from stores."!



Who the hell are you talking too?


Subotai- yeah man I know many people hate long term methadone. I'm still in the happy early phase. Once I get some clean time I plan to slowly taper down but I'm not in a hurry.


----------



## SayingSeven

BostonBrownTown said:


> rather than be happy and try to push this I just plan on using any day now. I take 12MG/bupe so I need to wait a day or so.



just a day or so? i'm curious, how long do you usually wait and how much dope do you gotta do to make it worth it? 

i've been on 8mgs of bupe for a little over a year now and that managed my cravings pretty well, not perfectly, but i haven't used. just recently i've been cutting my dose down and now i take 4mgs most days, and it's rough; i think about tryin to cop every day, but i have no connections now and i'm afraid to risk going into the ghetto by myself and then bringing something back into the suburbs. used to be able to bring myself to do that, but i'm just not the kind of girl that can get away with it for too long without getting robbed, ripped off, or picked up by the cops. all of which has happened to me in the past. which probably means i should just stay out of the whole scene for good but deep down i know that it's only a matter of time.... UHG! i hate this...

but anyway, i've heard a lot of conflicting info on how long one should be off of bupe before doing a full agonist. i would hate to go through the trouble of procuring some h and then do it too soon and waste it. but i can't seem to go longer than a day without sub and the thought of coming off of it for good is terrifying, even though i want to so bad. what i'd like to do is go back to dope for maybe a month and then just cold turkey it--because at least i know what to expect and i know i can handle it. plus i recently lost my insurance and between doctor's appointments and the prescription it's just so expensive; spending that much money on drugs makes me feel like i might as well be using! 

okay, i'm done venting now.


----------



## Jabberwocky

been 3 weeks but dope guy on the way. I actually feel kinda sad I am going to break this 3 week abstinence from dope but oh well. 

I took 12MG bupe yesterday morning around 9AM - so lets hope I am good. not to mention this is just regular dope and not the fent dope thats been going around Boston; I fucking LOVE that fent shit. it actually gets me.. well, what we say here.. "jammmmmmmmmmmed". this regular dope just doesnt do it anymore but my fent guy is not around so I had to go w/ the regular shit. its been 3 weeks so lets hope the dope works good and the bupe dosnt do shit.


----------



## Jabberwocky

bought 2 G's today. first shot was .3 of BROWN dope; so I thought EH. I felt good after the first shot but for some IDIOTIC REASON I shot another .2-.3 of the bag. well, a half hour later I woke up on the floor w/ broken glass next to me and a pin on the floor w/ some dope STILL LEFT!

I did my bupe yesterday morning at 9AM; 12MG's right there so in my head I am thinking it will still block a bit. at the same time I havent used in fucking weeks, so my tolerance surly went down but w/ the bupe I figured relatively the same. its funny cuz this isnt my first time doing this and I always have that same thought and always wake up a half hour later; you'd think I would have learned but I am a junkie/addict who does those SAME DUMB THINGS! funny cuz I was talking to the girl, my lovah, about OD's etc today and same goes for another kid RIGHT BEFORE I CAME IN THE HOUSE AND SHOT. I even complained to the girl cuz the kid talked to me for a half hour after I bought the shit but we were both talking how each one of us dont really understand how many ODs are happening around Boston and we think they are mixing, or who knows. or maybe they take 3 week break and then shoot the same again, kinda like some moron I know did today.. ME!

ready for sick part? I wake up, on the floor, glass is broke, water everywhere, etc. then there is a pin w/ a little bit of dope left it in it? so what do I do!? you were thinking shoot then clean, but NO! I actually cleaned the mess up and THEN shot. pretty genius idea, right? NO, its how fucking stupid we are when doing this shit. after 3 weeks I come back and I am a complete MORON knowing exactly what I SHOULD be doing but doing what I SHOULD NOT be doing; as if I dont know drugs at this point and as if I was not talking about so many OD's and deaths earlier today and have been a lot lately because of so many people passing away.


----------



## lilczey

Sup guys


----------



## LSDiesel

Sup czey? I moved from jersey to northern cali. Its really nice to not have access to powder dope so readily available


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> bought 2 G's today. first shot was .3 of BROWN dope; so I thought EH. I felt good after the first shot but for some IDIOTIC REASON I shot another .2-.3 of the bag. well, a half hour later I woke up on the floor w/ broken glass next to me and a pin on the floor w/ some dope STILL LEFT!
> 
> I did my bupe yesterday morning at 9AM; 12MG's right there so in my head I am thinking it will still block a bit. at the same time I havent used in fucking weeks, so my tolerance surly went down but w/ the bupe I figured relatively the same. its funny cuz this isnt my first time doing this and I always have that same thought and always wake up a half hour later; you'd think I would have learned but I am a junkie/addict who does those SAME DUMB THINGS! funny cuz I was talking to the girl, my lovah, about OD's etc today and same goes for another kid RIGHT BEFORE I CAME IN THE HOUSE AND SHOT. I even complained to the girl cuz the kid talked to me for a half hour after I bought the shit but we were both talking how each one of us dont really understand how many ODs are happening around Boston and we think they are mixing, or who knows. or maybe they take 3 week break and then shoot the same again, kinda like some moron I know did today.. ME!
> 
> ready for sick part? I wake up, on the floor, glass is broke, water everywhere, etc. then there is a pin w/ a little bit of dope left it in it? so what do I do!? you were thinking shoot then clean, but NO! I actually cleaned the mess up and THEN shot. pretty genius idea, right? NO, its how fucking stupid we are when doing this shit. after 3 weeks I come back and I am a complete MORON knowing exactly what I SHOULD be doing but doing what I SHOULD NOT be doing; as if I dont know drugs at this point and as if I was not talking about so many OD's and deaths earlier today and have been a lot lately because of so many people passing away.



Damn.... Be careful man. Your pushing the envelope.


----------



## cj

I had an endocarditis scare this week. I ended up getting sent to the hospital by a local doctor who thought I was dying. Thankfully it ended up working out that I wasn't as sick as they feared and I'm ok. But the lesson is to always always always use sterile procedure while prepping your shots. I let being in a rush get in the way of my safety and I really regretted it later. All it takes is one time being careless to fuck your entire life up and trust me when your laying in the ER you realize how its not worth it. We are playing such a risky game that you always need to stack all the cards you can in your favor. 

Anyway be safe out there team nod!


----------



## Discodeathstar

Hi, I'm new here I guess. Basically just feeling like complete crap. My go to guy got arrested and I don't have a backup. Would go to a clinic but at this point there probably isn't anything left in my system. So I'm sure they wouldn't take me. I don't really know what to do. Any advice?


----------



## SKL

^ This comes close to sourcing, which is _verboten_ here, but apparently you're really after maintenance, so I'd recommend ... well, it depends on where you are located, and what your financial situation is ... but a lot of Suboxone doctors are extremely flexible, especially if you are paying cash. You can find a list of them on the website. Some of them want to put you through drug testing and groups and all sorts of nonsense, some are indifferent, and some are close to being legit croakers. YMMV. My visits with my former bupe doctor went something like this: $[redacted] cash on table. Scribble, scribble. Oh, dexedrine helps, valium helps? Scribble. Anything else? Trouble sleeping? Scribble. See you in a month. Those were heady days.


----------



## subotai

lilczey said:


> Sup guys



What's up czey,  where you livin at these days?

I literally almost got run over by a cop down the way around 530pm yesterday

Of all the cars to jaywalk in front of....

The only positive is that everyone fuckin jaywalks down there, so my reckless abandon on the crosswalks actually helped me look more inconspicuous which is the ultimate goal

And when I finally got to the spot, this Puerto Rican chick was the one who eventually gave me the bags and as soon as they were in my hand I did a 180 and power walked my ass right back to the parking lot I came from

And im like a solid football field away from her when I hear "yo whiteboy... YO WHITEBOY! "and I turn around all confused thinking I might have shorted her on money (except I only counted it like a dozen times) or that pipe dream of her offering me more bags as a sample or something.

Turns out, she just wanted to exchange phone numbers. And after we do that she says

"Yeah just hit us up before you come down and we'll be able to put some aside for you"

So im like "yeah that's a good call ill be hitting you up for sure"

And then she goes "and it doesn't have to be about dope either" as she was smiling and I remember thinking how she had pretty nice teeth for a whore

Dope is called TKO, and its way better than that story

It was one of those, you had to be high on heroin moments. 

If you ask a prostitute for nude pics do you think they'd want money for that? I guess prostitutes didn't used to have cell phones so this is uncharted territory we're dealing with


----------



## subotai

crimsonjunk said:


> I had an endocarditis scare this week. I ended up getting sent to the hospin rehantal by a local doctor who thought I was dying. Thankfully it ended up working out that I wasn't as sick as they feared and I'm ok. But the lesson is to always always always use sterile procedure while prepping your shots. I let being in a rush get in the way of my safety and I really regretted it later. All it takes is one time being careless to fuck your entire life up and trust me when your laying in the ER you realize how its not worth it. We are playing such a risky game that you always need to stack all the cards you can in your favor.
> 
> Anyway be safe out there team nod!



You think it was from that time you shared the rig with the numbers faded off with that chick you met in rehab and her kid was in the back seat?


----------



## SKL

subotai said:


> You think it was from that time you shared the rig with the numbers faded off with that chick you met in rehab and her kid was in the back seat?



Is this now the post a story that any low down degenerate junky can vaguely relate to thread?


----------



## subotai

uh, yeah, in a way thats exactly what this thread is

I just remember crimson saying he was probably going to catch something in jest and thatd suck if it turned out he was right


----------



## SKL

Comfy thread.


----------



## Discodeathstar

Wasn't looking for a hookup. But I guess I can kind of see how you might think that. I would really like to just go to one of the methadone clinics. I did that once before years ago and it worked well for a couple years until I lost my job and couldn't afford it anymore. But I guess the only way I'm going to be able to do that is to find something first. It really sucks. I mean, dope is out of your system in like 3 days but the withdrawal lasts so much longer. Especially the mental, which fucks you up way more than the physical. I'm just not doing well. Feeling desperate and hopeless.


----------



## cj

subotai said:


> You think it was from that time you shared the rig with the numbers faded off with that chick you met in rehab and her kid was in the back seat?



No I think it was from a shot a did last Thursday that I accidentally got some saliva in by ripping a piece of fabric off a washcloth with my teeth. I think I probably got hep c from the other one your talking about but I haven't gotten tested yet. Before Thursday I had 55 days off heroin. I'm really doing well on the methadone.


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

i love this thread


----------



## JohnnyLaLa

I don't know how i missed this entire section of BL,  I've been missing the best part. Have to blame it on browsing via cell phone. 


I'm on Long Island,  NY on the border of Suffolk and Nassau County. The dope quality has been getting MUCH better the last 2 weeks or so.

On my favorite dealer currently has what I would consider the second best dope I've ever gotten. The best being "Wicked" from Williamsburg Brooklyn in 2011.

This one is called "True Blood" with a skull all in red ink. While I can't give it a 10 I will however gladly give it a 9.5 all around, even quantity. I don't think I've ever seen a bag filled to the first fold until these.  It's a very light tan powder, mixes almost clear with no residue. One bag is plenty for most anyone to get blasted. Insane pins n needles rush,  barely able to see straight without closing one eye and that's when I'm not completely nodded out. Never had dope quite this clean yet extremely noddy at the same time. 

Sorry for the novel but this shit is amazing. I shall be posting in this thread frequently now that I've discovered it. 

Take care everyone and be safe.


----------



## Jabberwocky

you guys/peeps who gets bags are lucky; us in Boston just buy wrapped up grams and half grams. sure, we may be able to get 40's or 20's but no bundles w/ diff prints on baggies and shit; so we never know what it COULD be but we just have an idea if we go to the same person over and over. I dont mind, tho.. cuz the shit has been pretty kill just north of Boston; heavy fent. laced dope. its white as a fucking ghost. 

I've been taking it very easy on dope; I shot last Saturday and OD'd. woke up in the floor a half hour later w/ everything tipped over. 

before that was 3 weeks prior and it was KILLER fent; had me nodddddddddddddddding.


----------



## SKL

Local variances in heroin distribution are so interesting. Both in upstate NY and in the city I've only ever known stamp bags and bundles, and they seem like the most natural thing, but it hardly is, I mean, who was the first guy to think about packaging dope like that? Was he in to philately?


----------



## JohnnyLaLa

It really is very interesting. Variances in packaging, marketing , terminology and even methods or substances used to cut are fascinating.


----------



## Jabberwocky

I know this been going around everywhere but lately dope in Boston, esp. north of Boston has been heavily laced w/ fent. we had a lot of deaths over the last 6 months and all cuz of fent w/ the dope; it has been on the news, papers, everywhere. I fucking love the shit but I can see how people would drop not expecting anything like that and maybe shooting the same and going out. 

I am headed to Cali in a few weeks and will try tar for only like the 2nd time in my life; last time I did tar I had a stripper get it for me in Vegas and even had her cook it for me and then I just shot it, ha.


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

be safe


----------



## jeebis

there was fent going around upstate ny as sclose as a couple months ago. damn near killed me. 

but what's up guys? broke but i got 2 bags of FIRE for free. so i sniffed them, packed the bong with some REAL ny sour, and am still nursing a hangover from last night

gonna make some pasta with some vodka sauce in a minute. i havent eaten anything all day, and i figured a little hair of the dog in my food cant hurt. 

how's team nod doing?


----------



## Jabberwocky

jjones0207 said:


> Yeah I didnt realize how prevalent fent. might be. Or they just got they're hands on some pretty pure stuff. I know the DEA has been making reports about coming across it in raids. But remember theyre were/are consistent OD's for dope alone before any discussion of fent. So don't be so quick to attribute it to fent. A mix I definitely could see them doing. Esp. considering they say fent isnt as euphoria but does have that nod.
> 
> It doesn't take much when ur i.v'ing 3+ times a day. It becomes routine and thats when you begin to treat the next like the last. Riding that fine line between nodding and dying.



talking about Boston? def. heavy fent in the dope; I get drug tested weekly for many reasons, nothing to do w/ court, and they go out of their way to test for the fent because I tell them I am a heroin addict and there is supposedly fent laced dope; fent is not your typical drug to come on on a 5 or 10 panel test so we do blood testing and they test specifically for it. 

def. heavy laced fent/dope in the area; just based it on the color. not all white dope around here in great, tho. last time I got anything it was kinda garbage and I shot a full G in about 2 hours when usually a fent G will last a full day.


----------



## chinky

mods be slipping..1100 posts in this thread?


----------



## SKL

Is opiophile dead?


----------



## chinky

Is tupac?


----------



## SKL

I've been away a while. Out of the loop I suppose.


----------



## cj

SKL said:


> Is opiophile dead?



It seems that way. There was talk of a last second reprieve but it seems that was simply talk. A shame really. Lots of excellent posters there.


----------



## SKL

It is truly a shame, was just reading a bit more about it. I would absolutely donate to help bring it back if that were a possibility and on the off chance someone reading this knows how to make that happen.


----------



## chinky

wait so did they shut OPIOPHILE down? or just no one uses it anymore? and its a ghost town


----------



## SKL

I logged in there maybe a month ago and there wasn't a whole lot of new posting. Now it doesn't load at all and I'm told they ran into repeated funding problems. A big shame as there was a large fund of knowledge on that forum.


----------



## chinky

damn RIP opiophile..

one of the OGs in the drug forums..


----------



## Jabberwocky

ill never understand the idea of a new thread; I like when they just keep going and going and going; this way we know where to find the info, new or old.


----------



## cj

chinky said:


> wait so did they shut OPIOPHILE down? or just no one uses it anymore? and its a ghost town



The owner stopped paying the bills for the server after a series of calamities. A very weird situation that played out over the last 6 months. I'm hopeing for at least an archive to be put up as there are many amazing stories and threads about opiates that are lost otherwise.


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

SayingSeven said:


> just a day or so? i'm curious, how long do you usually wait and how much dope do you gotta do to make it worth it?
> 
> i've been on 8mgs of bupe for a little over a year now and that managed my cravings pretty well, not perfectly, but i haven't used. just recently i've been cutting my dose down and now i take 4mgs most days, and it's rough; i think about tryin to cop every day, but i have no connections now and i'm afraid to risk going into the ghetto by myself and then bringing something back into the suburbs. used to be able to bring myself to do that, but i'm just not the kind of girl that can get away with it for too long without getting robbed, ripped off, or picked up by the cops. all of which has happened to me in the past. which probably means i should just stay out of the whole scene for good but deep down i know that it's only a matter of time.... UHG! i hate this...
> 
> but anyway, i've heard a lot of conflicting info on how long one should be off of bupe before doing a full agonist. i would hate to go through the trouble of procuring some h and then do it too soon and waste it. but i can't seem to go longer than a day without sub and the thought of coming off of it for good is terrifying, even though i want to so bad. what i'd like to do is go back to dope for maybe a month and then just cold turkey it--because at least i know what to expect and i know i can handle it. plus i recently lost my insurance and between doctor's appointments and the prescription it's just so expensive; spending that much money on drugs makes me feel like i might as well be using!
> 
> okay, i'm done venting now.



First off, this guy is talking BS in other threads. I, also, take 12mg a day, and nothing goes through it, even if I wait 48 hours and feel kinda bad, I did it once, tried to have some of my DOC (I had offers since I'm on methadone and bupe that would make my old self, the one without the liquid cuffs or bupe prison's head explode, especially the 64 4mg brand Dillies. Well guess, what, when I was shooting up dillies, you know the first thing you want is the rush, its all about the rush, opi-crack, I would shoot one 4mg, or break another in two and 2 4mg to 8mg shots every hour or two going between 32 to 64mg of dilaudid/hm contin a day. Waiting 48 hours after no bupe, especially not at 12 mg (I rarely take 12mg, I mostly take it when I am forced to, when I pick up my week's takehomes, I have one dose that is supervised. Often I'll take 10 or 8. Anyways, I had to shoot 20mg of Dilaudid to feel something, and all it was, was the stacked up respiratory depression from the bupe that's still glued like NOTHING ELSE can, that we know of, stick to my mu receptors. It was a very unpleasant feeling as I was completely awake, something I get bupe nods, but they're random, and usually require hydroxyzine. Well I'm glad I wasn't because I had to use my Symbicort inhaler, which I rarely use since I stopped smoking cigs (8 months hoorah) to get out of that under-the-water feeling. Thankfully it's a fast acting long acting bronchodilator. Look at the bupe thread itself. Everyone's story who's not a nobody of a dweeb is like mine, because what? Science, bitch, suboxone stacks, it's imbecility to have people use it for maintenance longer than 3 months.

When I was on methadone, I could shoot up if I only had a small drink of my bottle (I had all my takehomes when I dared shooting up). I remember a particular instance where I ate a 40mg Oxycodone-CR (gen) that was crushed then shot 8mg of dilaudid. Everytime I did, I got DAT RUSH and it seemed to synergize with the little methadone I had that day (Just like, a couple sips off my then always very full with orange juice methadone bottles) and the other full dose was 24 hours before that. The oxycontin 40mg was felt for about 6 hours, since it was generic and just crushed it, the Apotex don't crush as easily as the Cobalts but they do so, and are the ones looking the most like the old school CDN's.

That guy will mention that he was on extremely high doses of Methadone when nothing went through it. It's besides the point. Of course the fact when I even had the oppurtunity to try fun opiates was when I was already dosing down 2-3mg every month for an eventual switch due to health issues brought on by the 'done, and the max dose I had was 60, I think I was at 54mg when I first tried, well I had 54mg the day before, and a few sips of the next day upon waking. I had a year long script for tagamet 600mg pills, didn't use em everyday, but yeah, I could have excreted the methadone faster (oh boy its funny the pharmacists didn't even object to the cimetidine script, which happened before when I was only on 2mg of clonazepam a day and got a script of the smallest dose tagamets, I think 75mg and the pharmacist was like, did YOU ask for this med ?, I said yes, I had it before, which is true, it was in the aisles until it wasn't and was made rx only sometimes in the early 2000's. She let me pick them up, and I was about to say look, we're both the same age (she was there since 3 years), I can tell you cimetidine doesn't boost clonazepam, but I didn't. Anyway tangential end of story over. BBT won't say he's BS'ing and will probably be outraged that I am calling him out, but I've noticed the pattern buddy 

As for opiophile, maybe they would have had more money from supporting members, if they let people become members. I was a member but I forgot my login/password and was given zero help.


----------



## Jabberwocky

we mentioned this before, but you take 12MG/day and wait 48hrs and nothing goes through it. I also take 12MG/day and usually down those 12MG at 8AM; come 8PM I can shoot a half G w/o a problem and still get a rush/nod. 

I just OD'd not even a week ago because I took 12MG on a Friday morning and shot 1/3 of a gram the next morning (Saturday) around 11PM; I went right to the floor after a nice shot, hard nod, and then boom.. I HIT THE FLOOR! 

everyone reacts differently to bupe; so dont assume you wont get a single thing because many of us can shoot right through that and still get a hard nod.


----------



## SKL

I decided to treat myself, haven't had any dope in 5 years and off suboxone for  2 or so. Finding it wasn't as easy as it used to be, I don't know anyone anymore and look like a total custie these days I suppose, and what's more the scene is even more hidden than it used to be, I mean open air has been dead for quite a while longer than that in most of NYC, but now it's even more discrete, everything by cellphones, the best product by delivery. I had to invest a decent amount of time in finding it and got burned once with straight up bunkage and wound up sitting in a project courtyard till my phone died another time (I mean, I know _first thing you learn is you always have to wait_, but this was excessive.) Finally got a reliable phone number and copped some in the Bronx. Guy I got it from was prompt and professional, much appreciated. I have generaly not had great experiences with black guys in the drug business, this is not meant to be a statement about race but just about the drug culture and who tends to rip off whom (and I think this isn't just about black and white, a lot of people feel entitled to rip off people who are not part of their own group and especially if they are part of a group that has historically had issues with theirs) but this guy was the happily surprising exception. 

Anyway, I digress. Two bundles, stampless, typical packaging, filled close to the bottom fold, all more or less standard looking, fairly light in color and mild in odor but with the definitive and unmistakable taste of real heroin under the tounge when IV'd. In dosing I took extra caution as I will have zero tolerance, and take some daily benzos, and started with half a (typical sized) bag, turns it out wasn't really necessary. It's hard to judge but I think it's not the strongest stuff, but definitely the genuine article, and quite enjoyable. Dope had been on my mind so constantly for the past few months I just had to scratch the itch, particularly the itch to administer it intravenously. Now I'm planning on taking it easy, I've no intentions on getting strung out again (but then, who does?) 

As they used to say in OD years ago, _bankai_. Anyone remember _bankai_?


----------



## Jabberwocky

im always shocked to hear when people have to go out and cop like that; I just have it so easy, which is part of the reason its so hard for me to stop. I have a dude who just delivers to wherever I am; doesnt matter if I am at home, work, friends house, whatever.. he comes by. of course I have to order at least a gram+ for him to do this but that fine by me because my tolerance has always been over a gram. and if this dude is not already I have another person who is a "middle man" but gets killer shit and ill pay a bit me for a G but they also deliver to wherever I am. 

I just cant imagine having to go out and cop in the middle of the projects, or any spots around NYC, Boston, wherever. I've always had it way too easy.


----------



## SKL

Oh, it used to be frighteningly easy for me as well. Five years out of circulation will take that away though. For now, though, I'm kind of glad it's difficult.


----------



## Jabberwocky

oh, I hear yah! 5yrs out of the game and trying to make a come back is never easy; I probably wouldnt even do it unless i bumped into someone who happened to have it. my problem is I know far too many junkies so the drugs will always be around me throughout life.


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

BostonBrownTown said:


> im always shocked to hear when people have to go out and cop like that; I just have it so easy, which is part of the reason its so hard for me to stop. I have a dude who just delivers to wherever I am;.



I had to deal with a dude like that for cocaine (which I'd freebase all the time, his fishscale was magnificient, sometimes I'd keep a little to snort to HELP sleep, it would put me in that nice comfy zone where I didn't feel like having more, totally content of all the bowls I had (when I had enough money to buy more than the usual .4 which was the minimum amount he would send his guy for. But cokeheads are so paranoid, because I moved too often and changed cell number, he didn't recognize the number, he had forgotten who I was (after taking a break of 3 months..was told not to call back again ever, meet his delivery guy at the supermarket, ask him whats up, did X have to stop selling?" and he went like "he never did, well tell him I said hi"...that was a golden contact, and unlike amphetamines, his amazing cocaine actually improved my mood, I don't get the aggressive vibe from the stuff, I don't understand those who do) spending I don't know the price of a brand lower-end Audi/higher-end Subaru in 6 months of calling him everyday, and his damn schedule, every 3 hours, starting 11 am until 10 then he closed shop. I had 3 jobs at the same time and got student grants I didn't even use for school at all only to get coke...but once you fail a freebasing ritual 7 months later....you get disgusted at yourself and it's so easy to stop, at least, unlike opis. I felt way better once I stopped the goddamn base smoking. Then of course boredom, physical pain not treated, made me seek out oxycontins hearing it was the best thing for high & pain and then shooting up Dilaudid/HM Contin as my heroin I guess, it's in the same ballpark, euphoria is apparently even greater, fuckin opi-crack, HM Contins are abusable although I don't recommend it if one does not have something like SteriFilts or microns if you're willing to spend on those, SteriFilts were made to shoot up pills, even crack works with Sterifilts for some reason, although I never IV'd coke, freebase had my heart do funky beats (but even less so than marijuana..weird I know) and cost pennies when you order 100. In Europe they give them in their IV kits, here in Canada, the filter in the SecuriCup is better than cotton/qtip but not good enough for shooting up a lot of HM Contins. They don't have talc in them beads when crushed, unlike most morphine beads in a gelcap deals (M-Eslons don't, but thats it).

Never saw heroin, too rare and expensive here, and its also a delivery service, and they pay for it, a lot. You'd be shocked what .25 goes for. The Sixth Family or what remains of it controls most of it and only deal with other wealthy enough people for them, they'd detect a small etiquette thing you lack even and you'd be told to get out of the italian bar at gunpoint...apparently, never tried when I lived in Montreal (if you know anything about how the NY Mafia and the Montreal Mafia are related, here we got the Rizzutos, Vitto, the godfather here, died last year of....lung cancer from smoking. I guess he wasn't as lucky as most of his family (got shot by bikers and other big Montreal gangs like the irish (West End Gang) and well the various bikers which are all Hell's, french speaking good old boys  Just kidding, I was so glad when they lost the weed game in 2001 when said bikers were put in their place by the cops, finally, it took a few kids to die by IED's and constant harrassment and beatings of people growing their own high quality weed which hit like mad when year 2000 rolled in, all grown by everybodys to get it done. Montreal seems innocuous, and it is, because they like to keep things quiet here. But yeah, if you saw Donny Darko, Vitto Rizzuto is portrayed in it. He was the peacemaker between the NY families pretty much, but was sent to that max security prison in Colorado for 6 years for maybe being part of a conspiracy of murder in 2006 for that happening...in 1982, so yeah, he's up to no good in Donny Darko, shooting people. Alright, organized crime thread somewhere? heh I forgot if we even have drug bust threads anymore here.


----------



## Jabberwocky

lol, those 2 paragraphs were complete opposites; one was about drugs - more so crack than opiates. the other was about the mafia, ha. good read tho, but just funny stuff that was kinda unexpected.


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

Well, it's because if you can have heroin in Montreal, it means you know someone in the italians or is an italian himself, most likely. I once was in a porn video store (just walked in one out of curiosity, there is really no such place in my hometown and current tiny place I live at where one walks in and porn dvd'd cover the walls of 2 floors. I was disturbed that they had these little cabins and when I was there it was just like, okay, I'm in the second italian area of Montreal, maybe a place like this could...help me. (was thinking of asking the guy at the counter who was definitely an italian, but I was freaked out when a Very Normal Respectable Person in a suit and tie ran in to a cabin to...yeah, there weren't many of those cabins, but then I was like, lets get the fuck out of here. Then the only other time I went back in that italian quarter was to visit my cousin during a world cup she was the only non italian in the round-about ending street, all of the neighbors had HUGE fucking Italian flags, like certainly worth 1000 dollars, probably Italian Government approved. Then I thought if I ask for "down" (I was told to ask for down if I ever wanted to waste money) in that area they'd call the police, rich rich people only have houses on the island of Montreal. Like my cousin...she invited me and basking in her glow was a bit too much then she gave me 100 bucks "cos you're still on those damn grants & loans? here, loan sucks here". That was my 2 quasi-attempts to find a contact, but no way these Mercedes people, at least certainly not while they're with their kids or mowing the lawn, would help me with that.


----------



## RTrain

Boston on the northshore is all fent and thats all the people are starting to want. They are getting on the fent and tolerances are going up to a point where no1 can afford the weak ass dope to stay high. I'm not at it as of right now, but I can tell you I know many people who want nothing but cut fent that is sold as dope. some have told me they have gone through like 3 or 4x the money in real heroin when the fent isn't around and they are just getting by. The fent and maybe some analogues are all over the place, its amazing. It is brutal too because if you though going from heroin to subs was hard, try going from a fent. Its like a week long stabilization...ehh, not fun


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

It's also pretty lame, fentanyl euphoria being nil. It's probably not fentanyl but some of its analogs or things like bromadol that can be bought online from china in massive quantities and no dog's gonna bark at the packages. But I know about the addiction it causes even though the euphoria is non existent. The one time I chewed parts of a patch i fell asleep. Yeah. I got my benzos already, no thanks. Better off not risking it and keeping with the ultra cheap pharms market over here.


----------



## Jabberwocky

RTrain said:


> Boston on the northshore is all fent and thats all the people are starting to want. They are getting on the fent and tolerances are going up to a point where no1 can afford the weak ass dope to stay high. I'm not at it as of right now, but I can tell you I know many people who want nothing but cut fent that is sold as dope. some have told me they have gone through like 3 or 4x the money in real heroin when the fent isn't around and they are just getting by. The fent and maybe some analogues are all over the place, its amazing. It is brutal too because if you though going from heroin to subs was hard, try going from a fent. Its like a week long stabilization...ehh, not fun



thats where I was at; all the dope is fent here. its all white as a ghost and look like skim milk in the pin. as I said before, a normal G of dope would usually last 2-3 shots at most; and I am talking "good" brown dope (this is when I was going strong). then I got the fent and it would last ALL DAY and take 6-7 shots and I'd be even more high/jammmmmmed the fuck up. 

I've been doing too good w/ bupe nowadays; I honestly dont even want to fuck up.. again!


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

Well no wonder your "heroin' goes through suboxone. It's my only recourse for pain, and was told to really mention by my doctor that I take suboxone should I get badly injured or need surgery, because they'll have to use fent, no way around it and to get a medic-alert bracelet. I don't have the latter since the fucks stopped giving them for free and pharmacies now only offer expensive jewelry to put your medic alert sticker on it, like 80-150 dollars jewelry. I hate jewelry so I don't wear anything thats an advertisement that I have physical woes but the surgeon I'll be seeing for pre-op info and all is informed that I'm on bupe and will likely have to be scripted fentapops because even patches don't get through well enough (duh). And I won't have time to really lower my bupe dose to where I get sick, to get sick from lack of bupe....takes about 4-5 days of no dosing before I start to sweat and get minor aches, unlike methadone where dosing was required upon waking up NOW.

Now I understand your posts.


----------



## cj

THE_REAL_OBLIVION said:


> Well no wonder your "heroin' goes through suboxone. It's my only recourse for pain, and was told to really mention by my doctor that I take suboxone should I get badly injured or need surgery, because they'll have to use fent, no way around it and to get a medic-alert bracelet. I don't have the latter since the fucks stopped giving them for free and pharmacies now only offer expensive jewelry to put your medic alert sticker on it, like 80-150 dollars jewelry. I hate jewelry so I don't wear anything thats an advertisement that I have physical woes but the surgeon I'll be seeing for pre-op info and all is informed that I'm on bupe and will likely have to be scripted fentapops because even patches don't get through well enough (duh). And I won't have time to really lower my bupe dose to where I get sick, to get sick from lack of bupe....takes about 4-5 days of no dosing before I start to sweat and get minor aches, unlike methadone where dosing was required upon waking up NOW.
> 
> Now I understand your posts.



It's funny how much drugs vary from person to person. I can go 48 hours without dosing methadone and be completely fine. But when I was on bupe 30 hours and I was sick as a dog.


----------



## Jabberwocky

its not just my fent; fent is something that is more recent. my dope been going through my bupe for years and yeras. the fent recently hit heavy in Boston over the past year or so; over the past year or so I've been at my WORST at one point and now at my BEST in a long ass time; so its been one fucking whacky year, for sure!


----------



## RTrain

THE_REAL_OBLIVION said:


> It's also pretty lame, fentanyl euphoria being nil. It's probably not fentanyl but some of its analogs or things like bromadol that can be bought online from china in massive quantities and no dog's gonna bark at the packages. But I know about the addiction it causes even though the euphoria is non existent. The one time I chewed parts of a patch i fell asleep. Yeah. I got my benzos already, no thanks. Better off not risking it and keeping with the ultra cheap pharms market over here.



I think it is more likely the analogues. Either butyr- or acetyl- are easily obtained and can be in large enough quantities. IDK about bromadol, supposively stronger than fentanyl by a substantial amount(atleast 5x) and I know you can get large quantites of fent or those analogues on those sites, easy to regsiter to one and see all the crap they have. Whatever the case its no pure H its a synthetic does a lot of the same things, but I definitely agree it lacks the euphoria. You can stay high for much cheaper but its not worth it because after a few weeks the euphoria is completely gone. I did a recent stint on the fent goign around and stoped after 4 weeks, because after 2 weeks I started feeling shitty most the time, I was getting anhedonia like I do with Subs. I could redose and get maybe 30 mins of enjoyment but after that it was back to just being a lump. Maybe Boston Brown Town its good because it ain't worth the money and hassle of an addiction for the high the fent gives. 

One thing I found interesting is I had been doing fent, I knew it was fent and not an anologue (well about 95% sure) and I got what I knew was acetylfent. I found the acetyl to give a much nicer high. I was not getting much euphoria and then I finally got some from an acetylfent mix...go figure, because everyone say acetyl sucks for its euphoria even comapred to regular fent or butry-/...but thign is, i read acetyl activated the mu Opioid receptors with similar binding affinifty to morphine, this is from the big&dandy analogues thread from BL. It also mentioned butyr binded to mu but weaker than plain fent. IDK, might be a matter of different strokes for different folks and the purity of products. Its all so damn complicated, its really a crazy situation and looking at the current situation there is really a legitimate argument to just legalize  most recreational drugs and let people deal with their problems, it will never happen but the degree of quetioanable stuff on the street is insane and technology isn't going to digress, so expect it to get worse.


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

Well they said that about weed. Even George Bush's DEA chief came to talk down our Prime Minister about EXTREME border traffic control if we went ahead with the 2003 plan to legalize weed for everyone 16 and over. You can look it up, it happened, Liberals being in power still for 2 years afterwards, so it's not a change of idea from them. Of course the 'Tards right now here would never do it but hey. I like to view the prohibition of alcohol happening simultaneously in the US from easily pharmacy bought morphine, heroin, cocaine etc. (they kept using cannabis oil until 1937 though, seen bottles of it from 1932 from a Long Island Pharmaceutics or something company). It's the same damn thing. Woodrow Wilson was probably the guy who fucked over your country the most, 1913 fed reserve, participating in WW1, increase in banning of things for supposedly puritanical reasons...he was a puppet.


----------



## Pretty Poppy

Hey! I'm new here. I just overdosed on H last week. I would have died had my friend not called 911. I was snorting shitty dope for a couple of weeks, so I was snorting 2 bags at a time. I had no idea the stuff my friend brought was so potent. I snorted the H and about 5 minutes later it was obvious I was overdosing. I have no veins, so I rarely shoot; but, obviously snorting will kill you too! I'm glad you're ok. I was only chipping this time, so I have minor withdrawal symptoms, but I was so strung out after, I asked my neighbor for vicoden. I'm sunk pretty low. She did give me one, though! I'm climbing the walls for the same drug that almost killed me. So fucked up. I'm going to an Ayahuasca cleansing ceremony. I was off opioids for about 8 months and then it reared it's ugly head. I hope I can get on methadone because I hate subs. Yeah, it's crazy the places your mind goes when you need smack.


----------



## Pretty Poppy

What a wonderful post. This is my first day as a greenlighter, but I've been on these forums before. I hate subs too. Methadone is the way to go!


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

Wait, the hell is going on here? Did you forget to log back out from a secondary "fake account" ? lol.



RTrain said:


> I think it is more likely the analogues. Either butyr- or acetyl- are easily obtained and can be in large enough quantities. IDK about bromadol, supposively stronger than fentanyl by a substantial amount(atleast 5x) and I know you can get large quantites of fent or those analogues on those sites, easy to regsiter to one and see all the crap they have. Whatever the case its no pure H its a synthetic does a lot of the same things, but I definitely agree it lacks the euphoria. You can stay high for much cheaper but its not worth it because after a few weeks the euphoria is completely gone. I did a recent stint on the fent goign around and stoped after 4 weeks, because after 2 weeks I started feeling shitty most the time, I was getting anhedonia like I do with Subs. I could redose and get maybe 30 mins of enjoyment but after that it was back to just being a lump. Maybe Boston Brown Town its good because it ain't worth the money and hassle of an addiction for the high the fent gives.
> 
> One thing I found interesting is I had been doing fent, I knew it was fent and not an anologue (well about 95% sure) and I got what I knew was acetylfent. I found the acetyl to give a much nicer high. I was not getting much euphoria and then I finally got some from an acetylfent mix...go figure, because everyone say acetyl sucks for its euphoria even comapred to regular fent or butry-/...but thign is, i read acetyl activated the mu Opioid receptors with similar binding affinifty to morphine, this is from the big&dandy analogues thread from BL. It also mentioned butyr binded to mu but weaker than plain fent. IDK, might be a matter of different strokes for different folks and the purity of products. Its all so damn complicated, its really a crazy situation and looking at the current situation there is really a legitimate argument to just legalize  most recreational drugs and let people deal with their problems, it will never happen but the degree of quetioanable stuff on the street is insane and technology isn't going to digress, so expect it to get worse.



I included Bromadol because a huge warehouse in Montreal was seized, like in the middle of downtown, in Montreal, there's so many non-descript old large buildings...it was in one of these. They found people cutting heroin with acetyl-f, butyr-f and bromadol, all 3 added at the same time in tiny doses, it seemed they knew what they were doing, not wanting to kill people, but they didn't help and acted like the pcp dealers of old buying some 20% putty cutting it down with 15g of lactose and making 250%-300% profit off selling that powder as seperated grams. The had so much of all 3 products it's a record bust still a couple years later.


----------



## jeebis

any of the analogues will net you a metric fuckton of money if you use it in a dope mixture. 

ive somehow been able to swing like 2 bundles this weekend for the price of a half bun. i really couldnt say no. dope, a fat bag of some haze, and some killer wax. good night, yall. lol.


----------



## xanniechina01

*Welcome to bluelight.  Sourcing or asking for drugs like this or how/where to get them is not allowed.  Please read the forum rules.
*
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ines-for-the-forum-Please-read-before-posting


----------



## jeebis

for fucks sake stop asking for connects. we wont give you any.


----------



## Jabberwocky

Pretty Poppy said:


> What a wonderful post. This is my first day as a greenlighter, but I've been on these forums before. I hate subs too. Methadone is the way to go!



methadone is the worst; subs are the best.


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> methadone is the worst; subs are the best.



Nuhhuh my mommy told me heroin is better than both!


----------



## Jabberwocky

crimsonjunk said:


> Nuhhuh my mommy told me heroin is better than both!


yorue mommy is a genius; I want your mommy! my mommy is under the impression heroin kills.. she couldnt be more WRONG, RIGHT? 

OBV heroin is awesome!


----------



## cj

BostonBrownTown said:


> yorue mommy is a genius; I want your mommy! my mommy is under the impression heroin kills.. she couldnt be more WRONG, RIGHT?
> 
> OBV heroin is awesome!



Lotta truth in that post.


----------



## LSDiesel

Hey guys. I wanted to hear some thoughts and opinions from you on a recent phenomenon that happened to me in my "early recovery" from dope. 

So I grew up in NJ and got my shit from Newark 20 minutes away repeatedly and often daily for about 5 years heavy. I recently visited an ibogaine clinic in Mexico to detox myself off opiates after reading about positive experiences and having a great deal of faith in psychedelic medicine from my LSD and MDXX experiences. Upon starting treatment, I met my girl there who was in treatment for being on oxy for years. We really really hit it off and kept in touch over the phone and skype daily for 6 months. I visited her in her native California for a few weeks before moving permanently to California just 2 months ago now. 

I never finished my degree but was going to a good school in Newark at the time I decided to dose ibogaine. I have found rewarding work as a Math/Science tutor for younger HS/junior high students and I feel more in touch emotionally with myself than ever. I am living with my girl and stepdaughter in at atmosphere that is much more friendly towards pot users and the political as well as weather climates seem much more to my liking.

I recently went home to visit the parents and sibling and introduce them to my new family and it went really well. However, upon arriving in Newark, I was stressed and given the runaround in the Newark airport because I was late for my car rental reservation. I was late because I felt queesy and uneasy then nautious and actually threw up on the Monorail taking me to the car rental place from the terminal I arrived at. I didn't think of it too much and attributed it to possibly something I ate in the airport in San Francisco or something before. 

However, when it was time to leave the east coast and go back home to california, I also got very uneasy and needed to get a seltzer (in Newark) to calm my stomach down upon leaving. I also had a stressful time at the airport and began to feel like I was never going to get out of Newark as irrational as it seems. So I felt uneasy and stressed and had stomach problems both times in Newark. I spent no other time in Newark and visited family several hours away from Newark, so the only time I was in Newark, I felt stressed, uneasy and queasy. I feel that it means something. Is it possible to be in the city where you scored and have it leave a "permanent mark" on how your body reacts to it? Did the "Newark smell" or the different climate of Newark/NJ (hotter summers, colder winters, more extremes) cause some sort of chain reaction that made my body feel like I needed  to "fix"? I didn't experience a "craving" perse, but I feel pretty sure that there was at least a few triggers in there related to past drug use.

Anyone else have this experience? Am I talking crazy here? Does this mean I can never go back to Newark? Or is it just that Newark airport really is that bad of an airport that it makes you sick?


----------



## woamotive

Been off h for 23 days but have been on low doses sub (like 1-3mg daily). Anyway I'm living in Janesville WI where there is Shitty to no dope, I usually pick up in Rockford. I'm going to Milwaukee tonight for some kpins and herb and am struggling with whether or not to pick up a half g of raw. I won't be the one to have it handed to me, it'll be my friend but I trust him. Man, should I or shouldn't I. The reason its weighing on my mind is because I'm not gonna be able to once I start IOP on the 20th. Shit...I think I will. I'll report back with quality and experience. Wish I could had access to some of this Boston shit! Sounds heavy.


----------



## Jabberwocky

LSDiesel said:


> Hey guys. I wanted to hear some thoughts and opinions from you on a recent phenomenon that happened to me in my "early recovery" from dope.
> 
> So I grew up in NJ and got my shit from Newark 20 minutes away repeatedly and often daily for about 5 years heavy. I recently visited an ibogaine clinic in Mexico to detox myself off opiates after reading about positive experiences and having a great deal of faith in psychedelic medicine from my LSD and MDXX experiences. Upon starting treatment, I met my girl there who was in treatment for being on oxy for years. We really really hit it off and kept in touch over the phone and skype daily for 6 months. I visited her in her native California for a few weeks before moving permanently to California just 2 months ago now.
> 
> I never finished my degree but was going to a good school in Newark at the time I decided to dose ibogaine. I have found rewarding work as a Math/Science tutor for younger HS/junior high students and I feel more in touch emotionally with myself than ever. I am living with my girl and stepdaughter in at atmosphere that is much more friendly towards pot users and the political as well as weather climates seem much more to my liking.
> 
> I recently went home to visit the parents and sibling and introduce them to my new family and it went really well. However, upon arriving in Newark, I was stressed and given the runaround in the Newark airport because I was late for my car rental reservation. I was late because I felt queesy and uneasy then nautious and actually threw up on the Monorail taking me to the car rental place from the terminal I arrived at. I didn't think of it too much and attributed it to possibly something I ate in the airport in San Francisco or something before.
> 
> However, when it was time to leave the east coast and go back home to california, I also got very uneasy and needed to get a seltzer to calm my stomach down upon leaving. So I felt uneasy and stressed and had stomach problems both times in Newark. I feel that it means something. Is it possible to be in the city where you scored and have it leave a "permanent mark" on how your body reacts to it? Did the "Newark smell" or the different climate of Newark/NJ (hotter summers, colder winters, more extremes) cause some sort of chain reaction that made my body feel like I needed  to "fix"? I didn't experience a "craving" perse, but I feel pretty sure that there was at least a few triggers in there related to past drug use.
> 
> Anyone else have this experience? Am I talking crazy here? Does this mean I can never go back to Newark?



some crazy shit right there, dude! and I have no answer for you, but I live not far from where I picked up many times and never have those type of problems; even in older places I once scored that were 20 mins away I can go in and out w/ ease; then again, I am on suboxone so it might be a bit diff. w/ ibogaine. 

dude, I do find this funny because I also met a girl through this whole "recovery" thing who lives in CA and I am located in Boston and I am going to CA this Friday for 5 days to visit her; her and I hit it off pretty good since we both been through a TON of the same type shit and both are "recovering" addicts who are TRYING their best to get through the daily struggles of life, ya know!? shes on methadone and I am on suboxone. 

but yea, you moved out there, huh!? how long did you know her for? and you lived w/ her when u went for the ibogaine? how long were u out there for? 

either way, congrats, man! on the chick that is and hitting it off like that. also congrats on sobriety. dont even worry about the Jersey thing; you are in CA and you are staying there, so stay sober, dude. weird experience you wrote about there but who knows, just stay clean. 

btw - how was the ibogaine? did you feel good? no nothing? how long did it take? I read the whole ibogaine thread but I KINDA know u so I want to ask you directly.


----------



## cj

LSDiesel said:


> Hey guys. I wanted to hear some thoughts and opinions from you on a recent phenomenon that happened to me in my "early recovery" from dope.
> 
> So I grew up in NJ and got my shit from Newark 20 minutes away repeatedly and often daily for about 5 years heavy. I recently visited an ibogaine clinic in Mexico to detox myself off opiates after reading about positive experiences and having a great deal of faith in psychedelic medicine from my LSD and MDXX experiences. Upon starting treatment, I met my girl there who was in treatment for being on oxy for years. We really really hit it off and kept in touch over the phone and skype daily for 6 months. I visited her in her native California for a few weeks before moving permanently to California just 2 months ago now.
> 
> I never finished my degree but was going to a good school in Newark at the time I decided to dose ibogaine. I have found rewarding work as a Math/Science tutor for younger HS/junior high students and I feel more in touch emotionally with myself than ever. I am living with my girl and stepdaughter in at atmosphere that is much more friendly towards pot users and the political as well as weather climates seem much more to my liking.
> 
> I recently went home to visit the parents and sibling and introduce them to my new family and it went really well. However, upon arriving in Newark, I was stressed and given the runaround in the Newark airport because I was late for my car rental reservation. I was late because I felt queesy and uneasy then nautious and actually threw up on the Monorail taking me to the car rental place from the terminal I arrived at. I didn't think of it too much and attributed it to possibly something I ate in the airport in San Francisco or something before.
> 
> However, when it was time to leave the east coast and go back home to california, I also got very uneasy and needed to get a seltzer (in Newark) to calm my stomach down upon leaving. I also had a stressful time at the airport and began to feel like I was never going to get out of Newark as irrational as it seems. So I felt uneasy and stressed and had stomach problems both times in Newark. I spent no other time in Newark and visited family several hours away from Newark, so the only time I was in Newark, I felt stressed, uneasy and queasy. I feel that it means something. Is it possible to be in the city where you scored and have it leave a "permanent mark" on how your body reacts to it? Did the "Newark smell" or the different climate of Newark/NJ (hotter summers, colder winters, more extremes) cause some sort of chain reaction that made my body feel like I needed  to "fix"? I didn't experience a "craving" perse, but I feel pretty sure that there was at least a few triggers in there related to past drug use.
> 
> Anyone else have this experience? Am I talking crazy here? Does this mean I can never go back to Newark? Or is it just that Newark airport really is that bad of an airport that it makes you sick?



It seems perfectly reasonable to me that Newark is a trigger for you since that is where your addiction played out at. Just knowing you could have gone and scored if you wanted too is a huge trigger. I know the smell of my hometown of Birmingham does the same thing to me.


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

It's a shame that stores just north, in Canada, sell Ibogaine total extract and pure Ibogaine HCl. It might be more convenient for people living up north in the US, say pennsylvania to Oregon line.. to maybe, stay inside Canada as long as one can without the papers (6 months), way enough time to have one have Ibogaine Hcl delivered at your hotel room or whatever.

I know someone inside Canada who detoxed himself by weighing out 80mg of Ibogaine. He was reasonable, and the fact its pure makes it even easier. No need for a shaman or whatever. 

Also, I'm afraid to say Ibogaine doesn't always work.

And it killed the singer of one of my favourite punk band from the 80's and slightly into the 90's : Rich Kids On LSD, the guy went to TJ for a non-controlled take whatever the shaman says to take and have blind faith that its a fine dose for you. Nah, he died. RKL (SD) were decimated, I thought the chemist in the band who made their own LSD blotter sheets which they would hide behind stickers on their guitars traveling the world and throwing hits at everyone who wanted some in the crowd made them a very special band. would have been able to synth some ibogaine powder from iboga rootbark. Yet one of these "Lodges" or whatever you want to call it killed him. 

Better to have the pure thing, which you don't need a microgram scale to do so, 0,01 is enough and there's no way someone croaks from 80mg. (btw it's not like the total alkaloid extracts where one needs to eat the whole gram, of course).


----------



## jeebis

i deffinately feel the whole "scar" mentality. i'll always feel a certain type of way when im in city for the rest of my life.

but i did way too much dope over the past few days. i need to chill so i grabbed a bag of ketamine for the withdrawals/boredom/because it's awesome and 2 fat bags of bud (green crack in one and blackberry kush in the other). 

im coping now due to the ketamine but im not sure for how long i can keep this up. booooooooo

and solid reference to RKL(SD) (as the acronym apparently now is)


----------



## LSDiesel

BostonBrownTown said:


> some crazy shit right there, dude! and I have no answer for you, but I live not far from where I picked up many times and never have those type of problems; even in older places I once scored that were 20 mins away I can go in and out w/ ease; then again, I am on suboxone so it might be a bit diff. w/ ibogaine.
> 
> dude, I do find this funny because I also met a girl through this whole "recovery" thing who lives in CA and I am located in Boston and I am going to CA this Friday for 5 days to visit her; her and I hit it off pretty good since we both been through a TON of the same type shit and both are "recovering" addicts who are TRYING their best to get through the daily struggles of life, ya know!? shes on methadone and I am on suboxone.
> 
> but yea, you moved out there, huh!? how long did you know her for? and you lived w/ her when u went for the ibogaine? how long were u out there for?
> 
> either way, congrats, man! on the chick that is and hitting it off like that. also congrats on sobriety. dont even worry about the Jersey thing; you are in CA and you are staying there, so stay sober, dude. weird experience you wrote about there but who knows, just stay clean.
> 
> btw - how was the ibogaine? did you feel good? no nothing? how long did it take? I read the whole ibogaine thread but I KINDA know u so I want to ask you directly.



She got ibo-dosed the day before me. We stayed at the "clinic" for a week. 

When I dosed ibogaine, I did kind of build it up to be the new psychedelic cure-all. I would say the best part of the trip was the beginning since you feel your withdrawal taken away. However, a few more hours into it, ibogaine presents a "new problem" that is equally disabling as your worst opiate withdrawal. There were a lot of temperature control issues, getting hot then cold, sometimes feeling both at the same time, but the headspace was different. I did get a craving to feel comfortable with an opiate, but I read again and again how that can be fatal when you mix opiates and ibogaine since ibogaine lowers your tolerance drastically (i think?). So I didn't dose an opiate nor could I. I was free to leave anytime technically but I was on probation and needed to make it appear as if I was "trying" to "recover" from heroin addiction, so I rode it out. 

So after 24 hours, I was drinking some juice and water but was very very weak and couldn't eat any food. It felt like the energy was sucked out of me, but I did feel better. After I was able to start eating solid foods, I think maybe I got 2 hours of sleep but the sweating and shaking was pretty non-existant. Each day after was noticably better, and I had a new found "fresh" energy. I felt like I was totally good to only sleep 5 hours a night. I also was hoping more to have a "vision-quest" or something indicate the root of the addiction, if it could be traced back to some event or trauma that happened years ago. I didn't trip much, no clear visions. I thought about alot. It is closer to dreaming than something like LSD. DMT was WAY MORE of a mindfuck.


----------



## PriestTheyCalledHim

THE_REAL_OBLIVION said:


> It's a shame that stores just north, in Canada, sell Ibogaine total extract and pure Ibogaine HCl. It might be more convenient for people living up north in the US, say pennsylvania to Oregon line.. to maybe, stay inside Canada as long as one can without the papers (6 months), way enough time to have one have Ibogaine Hcl delivered at your hotel room or whatever.
> 
> I know someone inside Canada who detoxed himself by weighing out 80mg of Ibogaine. He was reasonable, and the fact its pure makes it even easier. No need for a shaman or whatever.
> 
> Also, I'm afraid to say Ibogaine doesn't always work.
> 
> And it killed the singer of one of my favourite punk band from the 80's and slightly into the 90's : Rich Kids On LSD, the guy went to TJ for a non-controlled take whatever the shaman says to take and have blind faith that its a fine dose for you. Nah, he died. RKL (SD) were decimated, I thought the chemist in the band who made their own LSD blotter sheets which they would hide behind stickers on their guitars traveling the world and throwing hits at everyone who wanted some in the crowd made them a very special band. would have been able to synth some ibogaine powder from iboga rootbark. Yet one of these "Lodges" or whatever you want to call it killed him.
> 
> Better to have the pure thing, which you don't need a microgram scale to do so, 0,01 is enough and there's no way someone croaks from 80mg. (btw it's not like the total alkaloid extracts where one needs to eat the whole gram, of course).


No Ibogaine does not work for everyone.

I know a guy who he and his wife used it twice to get off of heroin, and they thought it worked at first; but then they eventually went back to using dope.

For them to get off of heroin they moved to a town in the middle of nowhere in a rural area where heroin was around but it was a lot more expensive than it was in or near a large city.


----------



## Jabberwocky

LSDiesel said:


> She got ibo-dosed the day before me. We stayed at the "clinic" for a week.
> 
> When I dosed ibogaine, I did kind of build it up to be the new psychedelic cure-all. I would say the best part of the trip was the beginning since you feel your withdrawal taken away. However, a few more hours into it, ibogaine presents a "new problem" that is equally disabling as your worst opiate withdrawal. There were a lot of temperature control issues, getting hot then cold, sometimes feeling both at the same time, but the headspace was different. I did get a craving to feel comfortable with an opiate, but I read again and again how that can be fatal when you mix opiates and ibogaine since ibogaine lowers your tolerance drastically (i think?). So I didn't dose an opiate nor could I. I was free to leave anytime technically but I was on probation and needed to make it appear as if I was "trying" to "recover" from heroin addiction, so I rode it out.
> 
> So after 24 hours, I was drinking some juice and water but was very very weak and couldn't eat any food. It felt like the energy was sucked out of me, but I did feel better. After I was able to start eating solid foods, I think maybe I got 2 hours of sleep but the sweating and shaking was pretty non-existant. Each day after was noticably better, and I had a new found "fresh" energy. I felt like I was totally good to only sleep 5 hours a night. I also was hoping more to have a "vision-quest" or something indicate the root of the addiction, if it could be traced back to some event or trauma that happened years ago. I didn't trip much, no clear visions. I thought about alot. It is closer to dreaming than something like LSD. DMT was WAY MORE of a mindfuck.



so do you fiend the dope or what? or are you totally cool? do you feel yourself? good sleep, normal day, happiness, etc!? 

I thought of it before but suboxone works so well for me that I cant step away at this point; I truly fucking love suboxone and how I feel, act, am, etc. I am saving so much fucking money and just living a "normal" life FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE! and my Dr. is so easy - we do an Iphone facetime chat for our "meetings". I do pay him $140/meeting but its once a month. then I pay $15 for 60 pills. whatever, man. I used to spend that much in a day on dope.


----------



## LSDiesel

BostonBrownTown said:


> so do you fiend the dope or what? or are you totally cool? do you feel yourself? good sleep, normal day, happiness, etc!?
> 
> I thought of it before but suboxone works so well for me that I cant step away at this point; I truly fucking love suboxone and how I feel, act, am, etc. I am saving so much fucking money and just living a "normal" life FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE! and my Dr. is so easy - we do an Iphone facetime chat for our "meetings". I do pay him $140/meeting but its once a month. then I pay $15 for 60 pills. whatever, man. I used to spend that much in a day on dope.




No, I don't fiend dope. I feel more like "myself" than I have in a while. Thanks for calling me sober but I doubt I am what most would consider "sober". I smoke or vaporize bud and/or hash oil on the daily. I take LSD and empathogens for partying on weekends. 

However, what has changed has my obsession, my thoughts of getting dope to escape my reality. I really like my reality now and I never thought having a stepdaughter could be such a rewarding experience.


----------



## Jabberwocky

LSDiesel said:


> No, I don't fiend dope. I feel more like "myself" than I have in a while. Thanks for calling me sober but I doubt I am what most would consider "sober". I smoke or vaporize bud and/or hash oil on the daily. I take LSD and empathogens for partying on weekends.
> 
> However, what has changed has my obsession, my thoughts of getting dope to escape my reality. I really like my reality now and I never thought having a stepdaughter could be such a rewarding experience.


dude, for people like us, who abused dope to the fucking MAX, we are fucking sober, dude. 

I use bupe, gaba, weed and even take molly.. but I am SOBER in my eyes nowadays! I was spending $100-$150/day on dope. nowadays I spend $20/day on NOTHING but food and things you need to get by. fuck, I dont care what anyone says, I am fucking SOBER, dude. let people think what we want, but we know what HELL IS and we've been through HELL and back; so fuck all those people who have not been in the same shoes we have.


----------



## SKL

Would like to share a rather unsettling experience I recently had. NYC dope, standard issue bags, grayish in appearance, vinegar smell but by subjective effects (very short acting, blunted euphoria) strongly suspect primarily fentanyl or an analogue. About 5 or 6 bags i.v.'d over a few hours and then to bed. On waking, severe tinnitus and almost total hearing loss, hearing only echoing and flanging instead of sounds. Can't make out words in conversation. Also a loss of balance, as if the inner ear were effected. This persists for about 8 hours, then the hearing loss and loss of balance recedes, some tinnitus to 12 hours. Transient hearing loss and/or tinnitus  of unknown etiology associated with heroin use is a rare complication reported in the literature. Opioids have been rarely known to cause tinitus. Differential diagnosis includes acute otits media, but this seems unlikely and it resolved rather too rapidly and there was no swelling or discharge. Overall a very strange experience, not one I'm keen to repeat, and I'm absolutely stumped as to the cause.Just a weird thing I suppose. I'm extensively experienced with opiates of all kinds and nothing of the kind has ever happened to me before. I suspect a weird side effect of a weird fentanyl analogue but who knows. Be careful out there, folks.


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

*Marketed as ecstasy pills to people not into opiates, said to be american 30mg oxy ir*

to opiate users...This fentanyl and its analogues bullshit is starting to get on my nerves. It's arrived 5 hours north of NY in Montreal now where it's sold as MDxx looking pills, 2 kids died from them, there's a pic on an article I saw of the pills, let me find it...






From what it looks like, they're making them look like generic american 30mg roxies...we don't even have 30mg oxy IR's, they stop at 20mg, so I blame americans importing this here .They are called here, people call em "la tite bleue" "the lil' blue". 3 14 year old girls died eating these, they're being sold by anyone as ecstasy.

There's also the way too dark green fake CDN 80's, but this is just overkill.

http://ici.radio-canada.ca/regions/...uebec-surdoses-mortelles-sante-publique.shtml

Try it in google translate...makes me sick. Could likely not be fentanyl and be butyr, acetyl or even Furanyl-fentanyl, but the latter, only one source exists and they sell it as a spray, would be difficult for most of the retards using 500 dollar pill presses (yeah there's small pill presses that one can use manually with multiple logos to choose from.


----------



## Jabberwocky

SKL said:


> Would like to share a rather unsettling experience I recently had. NYC dope, standard issue bags, grayish in appearance, vinegar smell but by subjective effects (very short acting, blunted euphoria) strongly suspect primarily fentanyl or an analogue. About 5 or 6 bags i.v.'d over a few hours and then to bed. On waking, severe tinnitus and almost total hearing loss, hearing only echoing and flanging instead of sounds. Can't make out words in conversation. Also a loss of balance, as if the inner ear were effected. This persists for about 8 hours, then the hearing loss and loss of balance recedes, some tinnitus to 12 hours. Transient hearing loss and/or tinnitus  of unknown etiology associated with heroin use is a rare complication reported in the literature. Opioids have been rarely known to cause tinitus. Differential diagnosis includes acute otits media, but this seems unlikely and it resolved rather too rapidly and there was no swelling or discharge. Overall a very strange experience, not one I'm keen to repeat, and I'm absolutely stumped as to the cause.Just a weird thing I suppose. I'm extensively experienced with opiates of all kinds and nothing of the kind has ever happened to me before. I suspect a weird side effect of a weird fentanyl analogue but who knows. Be careful out there, folks.


gob bless you, dude. glad you are ALIVE and OK now; MAYBE.. just maybe, this will slow things down for me. then again, I've OD'd many times and it never slowed me down. the only thing that eventually slowed me down was having enough of living this life; just 4-5 months ago I had to do a 2 week DUI program - all in class, away for 2 weeks, so my habit couldnt come w/ me. I was a bupe Dr. before I went but still used even the day I left for the place. well, those 2 weeks were fucking great, and I felt great the whole time somehow; bupe does wonders for me, man. I know some people like the done' but I am a bupe man. 

just be careful, dude. I hate hearing shit like this. 

its sick to say, but its why I always liked going through a middle man; my middle man would always try the dope before getting it to me. they would pick up, use right away, and then I'd get mine. the reason I used a middle man is because I lost my license and could no longer meet my dude; so I have this other person do it and they would buy 2G's, sometimes 3G's and get a good deal. then come DROP IT OFF at my HOUSE and charge me a OK price but I could obviously get it cheaper if I went myself; either way, they do it before I get it, so I always know how it is, how much to do, etc.

fent is big in Boston right now; I get drug tested every other week and when I was using heavy I was coming up for fent ALWAYS! the dope I was shooting would last me 6-7 shots rather than my typical 2-3 shots - this all coming from a G. problem is, I was using so much fent my tolerance was through the roof and going back to regular dope was a fucking joke. I am just happy I am somewhat sober now and just using 12MG of bupe a day and feeling GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

LSDiesel said:


> Hey guys. I wanted to hear some thoughts and opinions from you on a recent phenomenon that happened to me in my "early recovery" from dope.
> 
> So I grew up in NJ and got my shit from Newark 20 minutes away repeatedly and often daily for about 5 years heavy. I recently visited an ibogaine clinic in Mexico to detox myself off opiates after reading about positive experiences and having a great deal of faith in psychedelic medicine from my LSD and MDXX experiences. Upon starting treatment, I met my girl there who was in treatment for being on oxy for years. We really really hit it off and kept in touch over the phone and skype daily for 6 months. I visited her in her native California for a few weeks before moving permanently to California just 2 months ago now.
> 
> I never finished my degree but was going to a good school in Newark at the time I decided to dose ibogaine. I have found rewarding work as a Math/Science tutor for younger HS/junior high students and I feel more in touch emotionally with myself than ever. I am living with my girl and stepdaughter in at atmosphere that is much more friendly towards pot users and the political as well as weather climates seem much more to my liking.
> 
> I recently went home to visit the parents and sibling and introduce them to my new family and it went really well. However, upon arriving in Newark, I was stressed and given the runaround in the Newark airport because I was late for my car rental reservation. I was late because I felt queesy and uneasy then nautious and actually threw up on the Monorail taking me to the car rental place from the terminal I arrived at. I didn't think of it too much and attributed it to possibly something I ate in the airport in San Francisco or something before.
> 
> However, when it was time to leave the east coast and go back home to california, I also got very uneasy and needed to get a seltzer (in Newark) to calm my stomach down upon leaving. I also had a stressful time at the airport and began to feel like I was never going to get out of Newark as irrational as it seems. So I felt uneasy and stressed and had stomach problems both times in Newark. I spent no other time in Newark and visited family several hours away from Newark, so the only time I was in Newark, I felt stressed, uneasy and queasy. I feel that it means something. Is it possible to be in the city where you scored and have it leave a "permanent mark" on how your body reacts to it? Did the "Newark smell" or the different climate of Newark/NJ (hotter summers, colder winters, more extremes) cause some sort of chain reaction that made my body feel like I needed  to "fix"? I didn't experience a "craving" perse, but I feel pretty sure that there was at least a few triggers in there related to past drug use.
> 
> Anyone else have this experience? Am I talking crazy here? Does this mean I can never go back to Newark? Or is it just that Newark airport really is that bad of an airport that it makes you sick?



I think it's what they call situational dosing. Like people overdosing when somewhere they aren't used to shoot up, like home say. I know I felt more fucked up from an Hydromorph Contin 12mg crushed to turn into IR and have small snorts here and there cos the stuff m-f burns, that was before I was willing to inject anything other than Dilaudid/Statex (before I found out about SteriFilts and microns). I got sick as a dog and sinusitis on top of it, my friends in that small town who shoot up 24mg HMC's at once were laughing at me yet taking care of me, gave me prometh pills for the nausea and a couple Fiorinal 1/2 for my headache/sinus pain (same as fioricet, but it has aspirin in it, not tylenol, Fioricet no exist here, and it was those with 30mg codeine, not the 1/4 which means 15mg of codeine only. I had a 2 then fell asleep soundly, while the dudes played axis and allies in between shots and snorts heh. Had it been stronger I would have OD'd, not the kind you go to the hospital for because you stop breathing, but projectile vomiting for 12 hours and feeling your liver hurting like when you're 16 and drink 1,18L extra large bottles of cheap strong beer.


----------



## cj

Axis and allies is the shit! Can't ever find anyone to play with though.


----------



## subotai

ive been to newark airport, they had a fucking hologram greeting you as you got off your plane. 

I imagined how that would come across to some 3rd world citizen visiting the US for the first time

of course once you get outside its nothing but smoke stacks and wannabe new yorkers


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

crimsonjunk said:


> Axis and allies is the shit! Can't ever find anyone to play with though.



Try and find TripleA, it's the computer version of it, but not the crappy Hasbro version. It's open source, and they have many other maps and scenarios and games last long but not 2-3 days long like they can with the original hah. You can play online there's a big chatroom where people wait for players or create your own. I play since years and I'm a freakin master, managing to keep the Russians at bay while sending battleships and aircraft carriers to the USA with Nazi Germany ;p Doesn't always work, but that's a trick I developed with the original map you can still play with. You need to install Java though. It's made in Java.


----------



## SKL

THE_REAL_OBLIVION said:


> to opiate users...This fentanyl and its analogues bullshit is starting to get on my nerves. It's arrived 5 hours north of NY in Montreal now where it's sold as MDxx looking pills, 2 kids died from them, there's a pic on an article I saw of the pills, let me find it...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> From what it looks like, they're making them look like generic american 30mg roxies...we don't even have 30mg oxy IR's, they stop at 20mg, so I blame americans importing this here .They are called here, people call em "la tite bleue" "the lil' blue". 3 14 year old girls died eating these, they're being sold by anyone as ecstasy.
> 
> There's also the way too dark green fake CDN 80's, but this is just overkill.
> 
> http://ici.radio-canada.ca/regions/...uebec-surdoses-mortelles-sante-publique.shtml
> 
> Try it in google translate...makes me sick. Could likely not be fentanyl and be butyr, acetyl or even Furanyl-fentanyl, but the latter, only one source exists and they sell it as a spray, would be difficult for most of the retards using 500 dollar pill presses (yeah there's small pill presses that one can use manually with multiple logos to choose from.



The fentanyl-as-pharmie-pills game is not a new one, they were OC 80's, relatively appropriately dosed, back in the day and a few other things; what's bizarre is the angle of it being marketed as "E" pills or whatever, if that's even really the case as these hardly look like "E's" ... but still, with the vaguaries of dosing such a potent product, a dangerous and shady practice to be sure.


----------



## THE_REAL_OBLIVION

SKL said:


> The fentanyl-as-pharmie-pills game is not a new one, they were OC 80's, relatively appropriately dosed, back in the day and a few other things; what's bizarre is the angle of it being marketed as "E" pills or whatever, if that's even really the case as these hardly look like "E's" ... but still, with the vaguaries of dosing such a potent product, a dangerous and shady practice to be sure.



Yeah, in Canada we only have, they're still around since half a decade now, the fake way too dark shade of green CDN 80's forever, these didn't kill people though, they were dosed very low.

We don't even have roxies in Canada. So people will not think twice, these pills do not exist here, well the real ones with this imprint do not.






Some generics, or the actual Oxy IR brand, the 20mg white footballs will be red, that's the only difference I ever saw) They make em huge like that so that people into shooting them up will fail, the 10mg ones are better suited for that if you insist on gaining 13% of B/A and a pseudo-rush.


This is the only (pure, might as well be the only one though Percocet/Oxycocet and Oxycodan (generics of cets and percodans that don't go higher than 5mg here, there's also the cute Percocet-Demi with 2.5mg of oxy, only person i knew who had em was a 10 year old kid who had a baseball hit him in the face, so the dentist couldn't not do something, kid lost 3 teeth, 4 got cracks, but yeah, you're always gonna be scripted Oxy IR/Supeudol instead, they assume people take tylenol already a lot etc.) IR Oxycodone pills we have, which look nothing like your 30mg percs...ahem roxies 8) 

I already said that since this is a foreign imprint, it comes from the US, so is by default more deadly and dumb. It's sold as E to kiddies because teenagers usually aren't after opiates and an opiate user who isn't an internet junkie who's work requires sitting at a computer, so I got a lot of time to go around, would be like, this isn't an opiate, I won't take this, most opiate users here happen to have that chart of scheduled meds in Canada where each pill of all opiates available will be (not kidding, all 3 pharm dealers I know had this chart, even an accountant who had it under his pile of sheets at all time. Let's say they're the kind to meet pharmacy robbers and the like, which is still possible in small towns, but hey not my crime, and it was a long while ago I saw these people now 

So yeah, people selling these are weed dealers, saying its euphoric and either MDMA or MDA with no speed. And yeah the kiddies will fall for it.Literally :/

Or maybe people just south of Quebec where these are found are taking revenge on the white meth pills we all know is meth with a little mdxx sometimes but rarely. They're sold as meth pills here, well "speed, peanuts, candy", while what I read from an angry blogger in Rhode Island that had one hell of a vendetta and said he was gonna shoot the next biker from Canada he saw...not sure that most have clean dossiers to get into the US. But he was PISSED OFF that they were flooded with white pills that were meth and sold over there as MDxx. Just kidding, but search on google quebec white speed pills, you should see the guy is MAD and links to a certain pillreports user from Montreal as the messenger behind the peddlers, even though he always identifies speed pills correctly...


----------



## cj

THE_REAL_OBLIVION said:


> Try and find TripleA, it's the computer version of it, but not the crappy Hasbro version. It's open source, and they have many other maps and scenarios and games last long but not 2-3 days long like they can with the original hah. You can play online there's a big chatroom where people wait for players or create your own. I play since years and I'm a freakin master, managing to keep the Russians at bay while sending battleships and aircraft carriers to the USA with Nazi Germany ;p Doesn't always work, but that's a trick I developed with the original map you can still play with. You need to install Java though. It's made in Java.


Good zhit thanks I'm gonna check that out. My strategy with the board game was to use Japan to take out china. Then launch a pincer move against russia with jan and germany before the US and British can react.


----------



## cj

I just got prescribed anyone ever had it? . Is it even worth the 10 dollars to get it filled? Was shooting for benzos but it didn't work out like that.

Edit man my mom is such a saint. She saw that I was upset after seeing this dickhead doctor. So she brought me a Xanax into my room. That's love right there.


----------



## jeebis

wow i fucked up in a blaze of glory tonight. 

started off well. even saw the girl i love because we spent the night blowing as close to 100% pure fishscale yay (long story short, someone owed me money), smoking tons of bubba kush....

then i remember i had to bags behind my phone so i did them...... then we broke out the xanax...

but come the next morning she gives me 2 20mg adderall since i had family shit to do. 

but now ever since she found out i got the cute girl from the local headshop's number and we're going for beers and joints in the park shes gotten super aggro and its pissing me off. shes fucking crazy in a bad way but i love her, yet at the same time, im not trying to change my life to appease her.

FUCK. and people wonder why i do hard drugs and smoke a pack a day even though im a youngin' in comparison to y'all (i know you all think im way older than i am. but for what its worth i can drink and vote lol)

but do i let the old girl relax and see if she calms down? or say fuck it and try my luck with the headshop girl (because stoner girls turn me on so much. i once rolled a j on a girls stomach while giving her oral. one of my proudest moments outside of yelling at a girl to stop moving so i coulf sniff coke off the small her back lol)


----------



## cj

jeebis said:


> wow i fucked up in a blaze of glory tonight.
> 
> started off well. even saw the girl i love because we spent the night blowing as close to 100% pure fishscale yay (long story short, someone owed me money), smoking tons of bubba kush....
> 
> then i remember i had to bags behind my phone so i did them...... then we broke out the xanax...
> 
> but come the next morning she gives me 2 20mg adderall since i had family shit to do.
> 
> but now ever since she found out i got the cute girl from the local headshop's number and we're going for beers and joints in the park shes gotten super aggro and its pissing me off. shes fucking crazy in a bad way but i love her, yet at the same time, im not trying to change my life to appease her.
> 
> FUCK. and people wonder why i do hard drugs and smoke a pack a day even though im a youngin' in comparison to y'all (i know you all think im way older than i am. but for what its worth i can drink and vote lol)
> 
> but do i let the old girl relax and see if she calms down? or say fuck it and try my luck with the headshop girl (because stoner girls turn me on so much. i once rolled a j on a girls stomach while giving her oral. one of my proudest moments outside of yelling at a girl to stop moving so i coulf sniff coke off the small her back lol)



I always figured you where in the 20-25 range like most of us.


----------



## jeebis

ive got alot of people who said early 30s lol


----------



## Jabberwocky

so, I went to see my girl this weekend in LA and I have been clean for about 3 weeks - just suboxone at 12MG's a day. 

we got 2G's of tar; she has a killer connect and we paid next to nothing. 

my first shot of tar was around .2 - I usually shot .2-3 if its killer powder w/ fent but I gotta give it to the tar; the .2 shot had me feeling GOOD! of course we did Molly earlier that night and I ate benzos but the tar gave me a great feeling and since I was with her I didnt go chasing more and more like I typically would. 

woke up next day did another .2 shot and went to see Straight out of Compton - great movie, esp. while were were in Compton. 

that night we shot more and more - killed the 2G's over 3 days and it was split PRETTY evenly but never thought it would be as good as it was. I also realize I was w/ my GF and we have fun any way, as well as other drugs and things happening, but the shit felt great if you ask me. 

funny cuz she always shot her feet and I always shot my arms but she was shooting her arms and I could not get arms and I had her shoot my feet. 

anyway, the tar was just as good as the east coast powder if you ask me; then again, if I was alone w/ the tar I prob would have abused much more and would be able to give a better review.


----------



## SayingSeven

i started out on tar in Seattle so i remember it fondly, but within a month after my first shot i had to be hospitalized for a nasty strep infection in my arm. i also lost a couple veins in my hands completely in that short period of time. but most of the issues i had could probably be blamed on the poor injecting techniques of the guy i was with. he would just slam the stuff into my tiny little veins. i never had issues like that after i got back to the Midwest and discovered powder (and started injecting myself). i've missed plenty of shots since but never got another infection that needed to be treated. in terms of strength, though, the tar out west seemed pretty amazing to me at the time. of course, i was new to it all. ah... memories. but now that i'm not using i have to force myself to remember all the bad stuff, too. it's a horrible feeling to regret something so much, and the reason you regret it is because of how bad you want it.


----------



## b1rd

*we do not allow trading of drug paraphernalia here on bluelight.*

*http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...e-read-before-posting?p=13020593#post13020593*


----------



## SKL

You can easily find them online. Trading them via this site is borderline, probably on the side of being against the rules though.


----------



## b1rd

i'm not sure if you mean just blank ones. i searched around online a little before i joined, but didn't find anything with stamps. i guess there isn't much of a market for old empty dope bags lol... but if you do actually know of a website where i could find them lmk. i know i could just buy the plain bags online and make my own stamps, but i wanted to use real ones with a bunch of different stamps if possible. i might break down and ask a friend when I'm in bk in december if i haven't figured it out before then, but kinda wanted to avoid certain people and areas.  thanks for the reply and the heads up on the rules. i thought it might have been a gray area but wasn't sure cuz the only thing i read was about actual substances...


----------



## PriestTheyCalledHim

*http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...e-read-before-posting?p=13020593#post13020593*

*Sorry we do not allow trading of drug paraphernalia here on bluelight.*


----------



## ChiRaqian

Sup with DENVER... Just moved here


----------



## subotai

Let'SS GO DEEENNNVVVEEERRRR


----------



## jeebis

Denver? Was just there last year. Tar from the guatemalans and hondurans in north denver, rarely powder dope (but it's there), cocaine is garbage across the board (unless you're trying to spend way more than you should for coke), meth is ungodly cheap and good, weed is ....well....it's Denver......, pill scene is pretty big (at least in ft Collins and the college areas of Denver), and tons of psychadelics between Denver and the Rockies (Rocky mountain mushrooms are my shit forever and always). K And mdma are hit or miss (k is normally weak and oxidized. Mdma is hit or miss)

And. I've begun experimenting to try and curb this dope shit. LSD and ketamine in rotation with xanax and weed. It's been working pretty well. At least a week since my last Fuck up. Both micro and macro dosing of lsd for mentality, ketamine to subsidize withdrawal, xanax for when the rest isn't applicable, and who doesn't love weed. Lol


----------



## Jabberwocky

jeebis said:


> Denver? Was just there last year. Tar from the guatemalans and hondurans in north denver, rarely powder dope (but it's there), cocaine is garbage across the board (unless you're trying to spend way more than you should for coke), meth is ungodly cheap and good, weed is ....well....it's Denver......, pill scene is pretty big (at least in ft Collins and the college areas of Denver), and tons of psychadelics between Denver and the Rockies (Rocky mountain mushrooms are my shit forever and always). K And mdma are hit or miss (k is normally weak and oxidized. Mdma is hit or miss)
> 
> And. I've begun experimenting to try and curb this dope shit. LSD and ketamine in rotation with xanax and weed. It's been working pretty well. At least a week since my last Fuck up. Both micro and macro dosing of lsd for mentality, ketamine to subsidize withdrawal, xanax for when the rest isn't applicable, and who doesn't love weed. Lol



wow, what a way to break down Denver. 

I want to hear someone break down Boston; I just wonder what others think/have to say.


----------



## Wbud253

*Welcome to bluelight.  Sourcing or asking for drugs like this is not allowed.  Please read the forum rules.
*
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ines-for-the-forum-Please-read-before-posting


----------



## shazoozle

I tend to lurk more than post but be careful out there guys. I had some of those fake Roxie's that were fentanyl and ended up ODing. I knew what was in them and had a few before this happened. I think that pill was just hotter than the others. Can never be too careful, was some scary shit.


----------



## Dmopzz

Hey all... I need help from all you fellow junk lovers to help me prove to my girlfriend of something...

okay a little background... my brother fell off the wagon and is back out there using...he's been clean for about 7 months before hand..he's been out there for about a week or so, probably going pretty hard.  I just talked to him and he said he's pretty dope sick....  my girlfriend just doesnt believe that he would be dope sick so quick..she thinks he would have to have been using much longer than a week.

ANYWAYS to get to the point I'm trying to make to her....

When you first start using, before you get physically addicted, it takes awhile to get a habit...you can start and stop with almost no problem or withdrawals...this period lasts a decent amount of time  BUT, after you've developed a wonderful mind-numbing addiction...go thru withdrawals and get/stay clean for a decent period of time and then you pick back up and start using....it is almost like the body/mind remembers it's previous junk habit, and it takes little to no time to get your tolerance right back to where it was, and also develop withdrawal after such a short stint using.

Can anyone attest to this?  In my experience, this is exactly what happened to me after a period of sobriety..


----------



## Cliffy78

No doubt about it u definitely get physically addicted after maybe 3-4days in a row using after you've already had a habit. It comes back waay quicker ime...


----------



## axl blaze

yeah man you're exactly right


----------



## cj

Dmopzz said:


> Hey all... I need help from all you fellow junk lovers to help me prove to my girlfriend of something...
> 
> okay a little background... my brother fell off the wagon and is back out there using...he's been clean for about 7 months before hand..he's been out there for about a week or so, probably going pretty hard.  I just talked to him and he said he's pretty dope sick....  my girlfriend just doesnt believe that he would be dope sick so quick..she thinks he would have to have been using much longer than a week.
> 
> ANYWAYS to get to the point I'm trying to make to her....
> 
> When you first start using, before you get physically addicted, it takes awhile to get a habit...you can start and stop with almost no problem or withdrawals...this period lasts a decent amount of time  BUT, after you've developed a wonderful mind-numbing addiction...go thru withdrawals and get/stay clean for a decent period of time and then you pick back up and start using....it is almost like the body/mind remembers it's previous junk habit, and it takes little to no time to get your tolerance right back to where it was, and also develop withdrawal after such a short stint using.
> 
> Can anyone attest to this?  In my experience, this is exactly what happened to me after a period of sobriety..


Your Gf doesn't know what she is talking about. a week of going hard is plenty enough time to get physically addicted again. An IME the sickness gets worse every time and my ability to resist it weakens as well. Your brother needs your compassion and help right now not scorn. The fact he reached out to you and was honest is huge.


----------



## gibby_420

BostonBrownTown said:


> thats where I was at; all the dope is fent here. its all white as a ghost and look like skim milk in the pin. as I said before, a normal G of dope would usually last 2-3 shots at most; and I am talking "good" brown dope (this is when I was going strong). then I got the fent and it would last ALL DAY and take 6-7 shots and I'd be even more high/jammmmmmed the fuck up.
> 
> I've been doing too good w/ bupe nowadays; I honestly dont even want to fuck up.. again!



Looking like skim milk in the pin?...
That scares the fuck outta me!
That's what happens cooking shots.

If you must cook let it cool back down to room temperature so the garbage precipitates out of the solution then draw through cotton.
If you don't the trash falls out in your blood, not good!

Try it dude...
I bet your shot is translucent and hits you just as hard.


----------



## Jabberwocky

nothing to do w/ cooking, even w/o it looks like skim milk. we are shooting a heavy load of fent laced type dope. its white as a ghost, so its more milky than not. I've shot many w/ and w/o the light; I dont smoke, so always have a lighter by my side is not easy.


----------



## gibby_420

BostonBrownTown said:


> nothing to do w/ cooking, even w/o it looks like skim milk. we are shooting a heavy load of fent laced type dope. its white as a ghost, so its more milky than not. I've shot many w/ and w/o the light; I dont smoke, so always have a lighter by my side is not easy.



That's all insoluble cut dude...
Fent is so strong mg for mg compared to pure heroin that that shit is STOMPED ON to keep it from killing everybody!

The question is,
What is it stomped on with?...

Sounds like it definitly need to go through a micron filter!

I read these forums BBT...
So I know about the fent dope you be getting in the NE dude.
I'm not very far, 90 minute drive to the D and 90 the other way to Toronto.
Fucking fent pills and shit going on up here...
Fake 80's that are green all the way through and be fent and/or anolouges. Fake Roxi 30's (which we don't get in Canada) are fent too and blue all the way though. There's fuckin square blue Facebook pills that are fent and dropping people.
People dying all over the country from this shit.


----------



## Jabberwocky

yea, its cut, but whats not cut!? I dont get what youre saying. 

I know when I shoot those I get another 4-5 shots than I would from a normal brown dope bag. the fent always lights me up in a way that I love; well, at least used to love but now trying not to even bother. just so much more for your money, stomped on or not, realize that all dope is stomped on we get, so why am I worrying about that? I kinda dont get what youre saying. 

do you think anyone shoots straight dope? no. and its just dope laced w/ fent, not fent straight, so I expect the cut.


----------



## LSDiesel

England and a few other EU nations have pharmaceutical heroin, made for injection, smoking and possibly pills too. It does exist BBT, but not available to anyone. My guess is that an inner echelon of doctors probably have access.


----------



## Felonious Monk

LSDiesel said:


> England and a few other EU nations have pharmaceutical heroin, made for injection, smoking and possibly pills too.



Yeah, I remember a few years ago on the original SR there was a vendor that was always stocked in the HMT heroin dots.  I'm sure you could find more info online but they were pharmaceutical-grade heroin pressed into little 40mg dots.  No filler, nothing, the dot was actually actually a biege color.  I never tried any but I thought they looked pretty damn cool.


----------



## Jabberwocky

LSDiesel said:


> England and a few other EU nations have pharmaceutical heroin, made for injection, smoking and possibly pills too. It does exist BBT, but not available to anyone. My guess is that an inner echelon of doctors probably have access.



I remember watching that show that showed those junkies run around to the clinics out there and how they just give the dope, pin, etc, all right there and they shoot right there.


----------



## gibby_420

BostonBrownTown said:


> yea, its cut, but whats not cut!? I dont get what youre saying.
> 
> I know when I shoot those I get another 4-5 shots than I would from a normal brown dope bag. the fent always lights me up in a way that I love; well, at least used to love but now trying not to even bother. just so much more for your money, stomped on or not, realize that all dope is stomped on we get, so why am I worrying about that? I kinda dont get what youre saying.
> 
> do you think anyone shoots straight dope? no. and its just dope laced w/ fent, not fent straight, so I expect the cut.



No dude, you're not catching what I'm saying...
Dope with fent or analouges there of has to be whacked down way more then just dope. Therefore you end up with a shitload more garbage cut in the shit but you still getting fucked up because fent so fucking strong mg for mg to pure heroin.
I'm aware the shit ain't pure by the time it hits the streets. I was using IV dope & coke heavy for about 13 years so I know the game.
I've had raw SEA shit right of the brick shit before dude whacked it down on a couple ocassions over my run.
Some junkies will never know anything about that. I've had fent shit outta Detroit too.


----------



## Jabberwocky

yea, thats what I was saying - I was never shooting pure fent; I am shooting fent/dope and all is cut as usual which is its white as a ghost and looks like a skim milk. shit will still get you lit up 10x's more than your regular street dope; seriously get 5-6 more shots in a bag than than the usual 2-3 shots. I love the stuff but not everyone likes that type of high. I've been laying off and barely using but when I do I surly want THAT type of stuff.


----------



## gibby_420

I don't like fent or dope/fent myself...
Blows your tolerance through the fuckin roof and the shit just sends me to lala land haha!...
No euphoria ime.


----------



## SKL

To me, fent is utter shit. And yes I've had the proper stuff, I remember smoking the original patches, did it, enjoyed it, saw my friend blue out doing it. That kind of turned me off. I did the drug a couple times later, knowingly at least. Lame euphoria, stratospheric tolerance, higher risk of OD due to ratio of potentially lethal respiratory depression to high. I've never had any satisfying fentadope, wears off too quickly and not the depth of the nod that you get from the proper stuff.


----------



## JosephTHeSequel

Is there a Baltimore specific thread?


----------



## AlongCameJones

*Welcome to bluelight.  Sourcing or asking for drugs like this is not allowed.  Please read the forum rules.
*
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ines-for-the-forum-Please-read-before-posting


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

crimsonjunk said:


> An IME the sickness gets worse every time and my ability to resist it weakens as well.



So fucking true.  I used to be able To use for months and voluntarily quit. This time is way different. Trying to kick my 37 month bender as we speak. This is only the 3rd time trying. Hopefully 3rd times a charm.


----------



## axl blaze

good luck ILU - I am also chilling on subs, lately


----------



## cj

Wow this thread has been dead lately. Where is teamnod at?


----------



## woamotive

Here! 
Did two days sub now back on h. I wasted my use on a shot WAY too small. I got ripped off but let it happen. Fml.

Going to Milwaukee tomor for some h and some FIRE hard. Best ive ever had. Fucking PUMPED!


----------



## RaZkaL86

WOOHOO!!! After months of ehhhh DDs or TakeDowns, I've gotten hold of some Blue Magics!!! Yeah I can hear you guys sayin' those suck azz just like the others but the guy I see told me "got these BMs and I was like ehhhh and he cut me off right away by sayin: these aren't the same BMs...these are really good!! I'm like whatever and bought me a half and went home...threw 3 in the spoon like usual and after pullin the rig out I sat and waited...didn't have to wait long!!! Eight secs and I felt something I haven't felt in a looooong time...creepin up like I was getting dipped in a warm bath, then WOW!!!! Felt like the old days when bags were three times the current but you knew you were gonna get that coveted warm rush every time!!! Called him back and he said "told ya", haha...bought more and had an awesome time this past weekend...just hope it lasts; but as we all know as soon as word gets round, the quality goes "PPPPPPPPPPPPPFFTTTT!!!


----------



## axl blaze

man I'm so disgusted at the sorry state of dealers in my State...

like there is this downtrodden punk rock girl (cuz of that I'm partial to her) that admittedly has the best stuff lately... and she fell on hard times and asked for a front of money and I gave her $500. she said she would pay me back in 2 days, it took a week, but whatever...

I told her I would but to do this I expect better pricing on bulk deals. fast forward 1-2 months later and not only have I not received better bulk pricing, she gets pissed when I bring it up?? never helping someone out again...


----------



## gibby_420

^^ That's just women in general for the most part dude haha!


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

Well there's a lot of stuff us women can say about you dudes....


So in the first 18 hr of trying to kick I got 4 separate phone calls from different guys that Id cop from over the years but some I haven't fucked with in over a year. The odds of this happening is statistically impossible. 
They have to have some like ghetto sixth sense. _ rope her back in, rope her back in. Don't let her get away... _


----------



## cj

I broke down today and did 3 bags trying to get high. Of course the methadone dulled most of it. So now I feel like shit about using and I didn't even get high. Ugh shitty day


----------



## gibby_420

crimsonjunk said:


> I broke down today and did 3 bags trying to get high. Of course the methadone dulled most of it. So now I feel like shit about using and I didn't even get high. Ugh shitty day



I had to mix a bunch of Dilaudid with the dope to even barely break through around 100 or so mg's (220mg peak).
I'm talking like wait 36 hours after last dose of done, 1/2g good dope, half dozen D4's and a point of raw coke.

Shit was far too expensive to maintain when you doing $100 shots.


----------



## gibby_420

The final boot in the ass it took for me to get my shit together once and for all is awful. Not many close to me even know about this, just those immediatly involved.

This was the last time I died and the last time I smashed a speedball, June 23, 2012 (chipped a few times since, not at all recently and can count on one hand).

Here we go...

Got up early that morning and smashed the last few points of dope I had left to get me well and keep me happy for my trip to the dopeman's to re-up. Swallowed about twenty 10mg V cuts and was out the door. Dude had a new batch of much darker dope, almost black so I only grabbed a couple grams instead of a 1/4oz. to try it out before I commit to it as there more dudes with good dope. This dude the easiest to deal with and always have good dope so I stash my dope with the pistol under the truck (was slingin coke in weight hense the Sig P220 .45) and head home.

I get home and my gf at the time 
(wife now) had to go somewhere in a rush and left me with our 3 year old son at the time, jumped in my truck and buggers off (I had already removed my dope & gun from trap under truck). My son was watching TV so I hit the basement to boot a ball, this is where shit starts to go south as you can probally guess...
Anyhow, new batch so I do a 1 point test shot to gauge strenth, very good but not abnormally strong. Now I proceed to bust off 3 points of dope and 1 point of coke, combine & fire away.
The coke was raw off the brick shit so it had me yakked the fuck out for the first few minutes, long enough for me to collect my son and one of my large guard dogs, Elmer a 140lb. American Bulldog and head for the park around the corner. Not long after we get out the house and start walking I started going to shit...
The coke had wore off and the dope was under full control now and I was some real creaper shit, much stronger then the previous batch plus the 200 or so mg's of V didn't help matters. We just barely make it to the park on this hot summer day and the last thing I remember I saying to my son "I have to sit down, I'm tired" and then sat against a tree and fell out...
My son watched me turn blue and fucking die that day.

The rest here I was able to put together from what my wife, EMS & Police told me...

The park was full of people that day and somebody saw me slumpped over and my son & dog freaking out.
The problem here is that my dog will kill somebody if they even look at my children funny and was keeping everybody at bay except for one young woman that somehow managed to approach and check my vitals to which she found no breathing or pulse. My wife found us after blowing up my phone to no answer just seconds before fucking EMS got there. If she didn't get there when she did EMS never would have got to me in time as Elmer (my dog) was guarding my son, me and the woman that somehow manged to appoach and call 911. I still dont know why Elmer let her in, but she was the only one and I'm glad he did. He was growling & barking at everybody else that advanced toward us.
My wife called off Elmer and he went and jumped in the back of the truck just as EMS arrived. They wouldn't let her go with me in the ambulance (my neigbor came and picked up our son) which convinced her that I was done for this time and was loosing her shit.

Four shots of Narcan, a few whacks with the defib and hooked up to artifial resperation and I come to somewhat for a few minutes then fall out again.
Two more shots bring me around for another 10 minutes or so then I again I start to fall out. One more hit of Narcan for total of 7 to pull me outta that shit, my previous best was 6.
Any dope user know that a 7 Narcan shots reqired OD somes serious shit.

There it is...
The worst day of my life and the last day bangin dope & everything else.

I'll never be able to forgive myself for the damage I caused my son...
He still remembers, but dosn't know I was dead.

"Remember when you fell asleep on the tree at the park dad?"

I now have another son as well, he's 23 months old.
These two boys mean the world to me, I will never do anything to risk loosing them again and havent since.

I know I did a horrible thing and now my family and I have to live with it...

The worst day of my life by far!


----------



## cj

Damn Gibby I am glad you are still with us bro! 200mg of valium is no joke you must have had a hell of a benzo tolerance.


----------



## ChiRaqian

Just moved to Denver.. Anyone famiar with the scene out here?


----------



## Burnt Offerings

Hey does anyone here use hydroxyzine to counteract opiate nausea? 

I'm an infrequent heroin user (usually buy it once a month or so, 1-2 points) and the stuff I recently bought is really strong. I've been getting opiate nausea from it lately because my tolerance isn't that high. Anyway, I have a lot of hydroxyzine sitting around that I haven't had any sort of use for up until now, but I've heard that it can be used to counteract opiate nausea. Is it pretty effective? What would be a good dose to take?


----------



## SKL

It might work but it is also potentiates opiates so you would do well to be careful with dosing. It is pretty good for nausea at 25mg titrating up to 100mg if necessary. It is also not too bad as an anxiolytic as it's not only an antihistamine but a 5HT2A and α1-adrenergic antagonist part of why it is useful as a sedative too. But like I said it's worthwhile for nausea but it also potentiates opiates, so be careful. Also, never never never i.v. it, although formulations for i.m. use exist (but never i.v. a solution made from pills, of course.)


----------



## Jabberwocky

Burnt Offerings said:


> Hey does anyone here use hydroxyzine to counteract opiate nausea?
> 
> I'm an infrequent heroin user (usually buy it once a month or so, 1-2 points) and the stuff I recently bought is really strong. I've been getting opiate nausea from it lately because my tolerance isn't that high. Anyway, I have a lot of hydroxyzine sitting around that I haven't had any sort of use for up until now, but I've heard that it can be used to counteract opiate nausea. Is it pretty effective? What would be a good dose to take?



god bless you people who can actually use 1-2x's a month, tops! I dont know how you do it, man! but either way, be careful. I never thought I'd be a raging junkie for so many years and so many dollars spent; sickens me to think of it. 

and the hydroxyzine wont play that big of a role; you can take it at the recommend dose on the script. I was never one to get sick from shooting dope but I've been scripted the hydro for other reasons.


----------



## Burnt Offerings

Yeah, I just don't find heroin to be particularly addictive honestly. There's a certain group of people which the drug almost immediately snares, and then there are those who can take it or leave it...I belong to the latter group.

That's not to say that I'm immune to addiction or anything, just that heroin (and "downers" in general) aren't my DOC. Stimulants are my problematic vice...I love the feeling of being "wired" and 110% awake, not nodding out heh.

With that being said, a little H now and again is certainly relaxing and enjoyable. I just HATE, FUCKING HATE nausea. Almost more than physical pain. It just debilitates me, I don't want to move around or do anything except lay in a horizontal position. I grew up working on the ocean and being seasick was always the worst aspect of that lifestyle for me.



> Also, never never never i.v. it, although formulations for i.m. use exist (but never i.v. a solution made from pills, of course.)



No worries, they are in 50 mg capsules but I don't IV drugs, heroin or otherwise. Thanks for the input!


----------



## EyeLick

I am in Las Vegas, where Mexicans run delivery service for tar, call the guy and he dispatches a delivery driver to you (8am-8pm for mine, some start at 7am, some close by 6pm, and it runs every day except Xmas & New Year's Day.)

My guy has had one driver ever since some theft issues with driver(s) a couple of years ago. This particular driver has driven for him for about a year and a half. He wants to quit working  for the guy, for various reasons, and start his own deal. (It would be great to have more than one source. I've had the same guy for the entire 7 years I've been here. When there have been days he closes early or opens late (alcohol binges typically) it's hard for me to figure out something else.)  I tried his shit, supposedly uncut (I can believe that he isn't cutting, but I don't think that means it isn't along the way) brown powder with hard little rocks, and the first shot (typically a third or so of a half gram... I'll split them into 3 but sometimes the last one is small haha ) knocked me out all night, and the second for most of the following day. It allowed me to cut my habit in half. I had to start buying from the other guy at least a bit, but mostly stuck to that for a couple of weeks. And then... His source started getting flaky. He has been out since the 20th. Unfortunately by then, despite getting some nod for every shot, I was accustomed to it and it was a bit difficult to go back to the other stuff- which isn't bad by any means, the random stuff I've done here and there does not hold me that well... And one guy in a previous apartment complex who was undesirably put on to me, and was annoying- well I, or my bf, cut his shit to hell with burnt sugar (the only person I've done that to) and he still loved it and came back. Anyway, it's really annoying, every single driver who's quit and tried to branch out on his own has not been able to keep it going due to supply issues. It really sucks this time because the quality is so much higher. Well, at least this driver didn't quit beforehand, so good for him!


----------



## RaZkaL86

Burnt Offerings said:


> With that being said, a little H now and again is certainly relaxing and enjoyable. I just HATE, FUCKING HATE nausea. Almost more than physical pain. It just debilitates me, I don't want to move around or do anything except lay in a horizontal position. I grew up working on the ocean and being seasick was always the worst aspect of that lifestyle for me.
> 
> 
> It doesn't happen a lot but I have on occasion blew chunks after doin strong dope....once I had just withdrew the needle and in a matter of seconds, RAAAAAAALLLLFFFF!!!!! Like the Exorcist...all I needed was for my head to spin around so I look like a carnival game, hahaha


----------



## cj

Hey everyone! just wanted to stop by and sat hello. I think this thread will always feel like home in a way. Well after the slip I posted about I have been doing better on the heroin front. I aint coming to gloat its been fucking rough real tough actually. I cut my arm up the other night pretty bad. I've been smoking copious weed. Took Xanax and even some speed. I mean its worth it though I was really tired of doing heroin. Don't get me wrong I couldn't have done it without methadone though. I am really lucky to have great family support it makes a big difference sometimes. But there are those times when its just me and those demons. I got no answers for real on that subject.


----------



## SKL

RaZkaL86 said:


> Burnt Offerings said:
> 
> 
> 
> With that being said, a little H now and again is certainly relaxing and enjoyable. I just HATE, FUCKING HATE nausea. Almost more than physical pain. It just debilitates me, I don't want to move around or do anything except lay in a horizontal position. I grew up working on the ocean and being seasick was always the worst aspect of that lifestyle for me.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It doesn't happen a lot but I have on occasion blew chunks after doin strong dope....once I had just withdrew the needle and in a matter of seconds, RAAAAAAALLLLFFFF!!!!! Like the Exorcist...all I needed was for my head to spin around so I look like a carnival game, hahaha
Click to expand...


LOL in contrast me and my junkie friends used to say we "caught a puker" and this generally meant we got some quality dope and were in for a good nod. A few moments of unpleasantness we mostly considered worth it


----------



## NJ2NYC2NJ

"There's no such thing as a 'painless overdose.'  The pain was experienced in all the years of drug addiction leading up to the overdose."

47 days clean..  No suboxone, methadone, not even alcohol. Even cut down my caffeine to about one cup of coffee in the morning. (and I've never been a cigarette smoker, so nicotine-free by default..)
This, after over 20 years of substance abuse.  I think I've had enough.  I have an opportunity to live a better life, and I think I'm finally ready to take that turn and let go of the past.
Wish me luck!  I'll check in every so often to report on this whole "sobriety" thing.  
Be good, kids... And treat yourselves well.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

You should be proud.


----------



## LSDiesel

Treat ourselves? Isnt that what gets us in trouble? OHHH treat ourselves WELL... Whoops i read that the way i wanted it hear at first glance. Ha


----------



## motiv311

Burnt Offerings said:


> Yeah, I just don't find heroin to be particularly addictive honestly. There's a certain group of people which the drug almost immediately snares, and then there are those who can take it or leave it...I belong to the latter group.
> 
> That's not to say that I'm immune to addiction or anything, just that heroin (and "downers" in general) aren't my DOC. Stimulants are my problematic vice...I love the feeling of being "wired" and 110% awake, not nodding out heh.
> 
> With that being said, a little H now and again is certainly relaxing and enjoyable. I just HATE, FUCKING HATE nausea. Almost more than physical pain. It just debilitates me, I don't want to move around or do anything except lay in a horizontal position. I grew up working on the ocean and being seasick was always the worst aspect of that lifestyle for me.
> 
> 
> 
> No worries, they are in 50 mg capsules but I don't IV drugs, heroin or otherwise. Thanks for the input!



forgive me, but you sound kind of like a smug ignoramus. .. . you do not belong to any "special group" ... just because you've started of lightly , doesn't mean you won't end up a junkie like every other junkie.... 

i was a similar story... i liked my adderall and stimulants and psychedelics ... but opiates/heroin, only when I was coming down.... i did tons of research to avoid getting hooked on heroin... **laughs** like a fucking research paper can keep you from getting a serious habit going outta control. . . Anyways, i made it about a year of using infrequently enough to avoid bad physical withdrawal... after some years, eventually got a really straight legit connect who was convient and lived near me and thats really all it took to start getting out of control to a sixty dollar a day habit. and i don't have a classic "addictive personality / alcoholic" thing either....   you don't have to - to still manage getting hooked.... good luck


----------



## motiv311

Felonious Monk said:


> Yeah, I remember a few years ago on the original SR there was a vendor that was always stocked in the HMT heroin dots.  I'm sure you could find more info online but they were pharmaceutical-grade heroin pressed into little 40mg dots.  No filler, nothing, the dot was actually actually a biege color.  I never tried any but I thought they looked pretty damn cool.



you can still find those on many of those pakistani online pharmacies today.


----------



## Burnt Offerings

motiv311 said:


> forgive me, but you sound kind of like a smug ignoramus. .. . you do not belong to any "special group" ... just because you've started of lightly , doesn't mean you won't end up a junkie like every other junkie....
> 
> i was a similar story... i liked my adderall and stimulants and psychedelics ... but opiates/heroin, only when I was coming down.... i did tons of research to avoid getting hooked on heroin... **laughs** like a fucking research paper can keep you from getting a serious habit going outta control. . . Anyways, i made it about a year of using infrequently enough to avoid bad physical withdrawal... after some years, eventually got a really straight legit connect who was convient and lived near me and thats really all it took to start getting out of control to a sixty dollar a day habit. and i don't have a classic "addictive personality / alcoholic" thing either....   you don't have to - to still manage getting hooked.... good luck



LOL yes, because EVERYONE who uses heroin eventually becomes addicted. Oh yeah, that's actually not true at all. 8) What's the actual number? Somewhere around 25%?

YOU sound like the smug ignoramus because you assume that just because you got dragged down into the opiate pit, that means everyone who dabbles will eventually be down there with you. You're universalizing your experiences when that's not warranted in the slightest. People react differently to different drugs...you like heroin, I like crystal meth. Deal with it.


----------



## axl blaze

25%.... ? more like ~70%


----------



## Burnt Offerings

Well according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (lol) 23 percent of individuals who use heroin eventually develop a physical addiction/dependency to it.

Now using the NIDA as a source is kind of sketchy but you wouldn't expect them of all people to calculate addiction figures DOWNWARD, would you?


----------



## Jabberwocky

23? whatttttttttttt.. I would think its way more than that, especially nowadays. when was that last updated? because now its around 99.9.. or at least around the Boston area.


----------



## chefman

Sounds awfully low gotta at least be 60%


----------



## SKL

Nah, I think 23-25% is a pretty reasonable figure. Most of us, being junkies or former junkies, and having hung out with a lot of junkies by virtue of that fact, probably are less familiar with those people who can take it occasionally and put it down without going full degen. I know I knew a lot of those people in high school and college, mainly having graduated from pain pills, but some of them managed never to catch a habit, let a lone i.v. and the whole lifestyle. See also: the famous study about soldiers returning from Vietnam.


----------



## cj

25 percent seems really high to me. I always thought it was closer to 10 percent. I have known plenty of people who tried it once or twice.


----------



## axl blaze

I live in Ohio, in a part where the Mexicans reign supreme - so I only cop tar. it's usually pretty damn good

however, about once a month some Dealer goes on and on about how they got that "pure China white powder"... and that you just gotta try it ASAP. I used to live in the North-East, so I know quality China when I see it

before today, 100 percent of the time those said Dealers were bullshitting. sure, it was China, but it was of horrible quality. and to make things even worse they jack up the price "because this shit so fire." so I stayed away, until last night my new thuggish ruggish Dealer gave me a sample of some stuff "straight from New Jersey"...

and fucking WOW! finally some real talk product! he didn't have the quantity I wanted (I buy big) but he still cut me a deal for $10 cheaper a G than normal (since we can't say prices, I'm sure ya'll can surmise the approximate price from that statement tho). this stuff packs a stinging punch like a bee, then makes you float like a butter-fly, and it even kinda Fs you up so much when you nod you are kinda hallucinating - like you're seeing Muhammed Ali??

I am quite happy. check it, before I fucking wreck it:


----------



## Jabberwocky

^^ haha, I've been doing so well then I read what you had just wrote and it makes me wanna float on those dope clouds. would be very, very nice but I guess I gotta stay clean and do this life thing right. lets hope no one around me is using or I read what you have just wrote again, ha. 

good stuff, bud. you enjoyed that one.


----------



## AlongCameJones

any Jersey folks around? wondering if fent-dope is still floating around. haven't used much lately (just moved back here from midwest) and just curious about the quality here...wanna stay away from any hot shot stamps. also anyone know about the scene in plainfield? that was my old go to spot.


----------



## SKL

furanyl-fentanyl from China circulating, more widely since new RC ban.






α-Methylacetylfentanyl recently identified in a south Florida drug seizure.

regular fentany preposterously cheap, I mean _really_ preposterously cheap.

αMF probably around too.

All sorts of other weird and untested novelties.

... coming soon to a bag near you.

Mixing it in pure form into nasal spray is cute enough, but mixing it into fentadope without industrial pharmaceutical experience is homicidal.

Be careful, bros.


----------



## subotai

I got some bags that were definitely cut with fentanyl today

I shot one up about 15 mins after I grabbed it in my aunt's car and she said I didnt just nod out but my face was like straight purple

I just chalked it up to being really strong shit

so fast forward 2 hours and I am at the hospital visiting my grandfather who was there to get fluid drained from his lungs.

I go to the bathroom to shoot up after saying goodbye and I'll see him tomorrow.

shoot up like normal

fast forward a half hour later and I awake to myself lying face down on the floor with a pool of blood around my head. I also had passed out on top of my arm so my arm was completely dead. 

So im like half sitting / half laying on the floor of this hospital bathroom with blood everywhere and a gash on my left eyebrow. Im assuming I hit either the sink on the way down or just gashed it when I hit the floor 

It took me like 15 minutes just to clean the blood up and my eye wouldnt stop bleeding so I just put a paper towel over it and walked out of the hospital. One guy asked me if I was alright and I just said I had a headache and power walked away from him. 

I know it was fent because there wasnt a rush at all and it was really clear dope in the syringe, and straight white as a powder.

I still remember the dealer saying "yo youre gonna like this shit man"

what the hell am I doing with my life

and now I got this song stuck in my head lol


----------



## EyeLick

Just took 2 hour bus and walking trip just to NOT get my dope $, while kinda sick and hoping it'd be resolved quickly, and missed an opportunity because of it. I'm sooooooo fucking sick of people, but it'd take a 16$/hr job just to keep the same habit and live in the same shithole. No degree, ran out of loans, never made that much before. They're skimpy with the pay here, didn't even make that before moving here either. Back when I'd had a recent job. Just paid off my credit 2 days ago after like 3-4 days of not with a partial tacked on top. Will he do it? Will my phone die before I'm there? If it happens, will I end up asleep all day and scrounging all night just to get a half, smokes and food maybe, not enough for the day¿ and repeat! Fun stuff to wonder while traveling from the shithole of north vegas to the shit end of the "ho stroll" in one of the most notorious weeklies I can adapt to, bf bitches about wanting to get out, not that I don't want that but whatever cash isn't spent on my dope, his meth, basic necessities, alllllll gets thrown in the goddamn slot machines, then I get bitched at for now much $ goes to my dope.. A physical necessity -_-  70 in a day at most, better than throwing hundreds into slots I'd think. Dude opens in 4 mins but not gonna grovel on the bus. But whatever, I only hate how shit is if I don't have any, and so ends the self pity.


----------



## Jabberwocky

EyeLick said:


> Just took 2 hour bus and walking trip just to NOT get my dope $, while kinda sick and hoping it'd be resolved quickly, and missed an opportunity because of it. I'm sooooooo fucking sick of people, but it'd take a 16$/hr job just to keep the same habit and live in the same shithole. No degree, ran out of loans, never made that much before. They're skimpy with the pay here, didn't even make that before moving here either. Back when I'd had a recent job. Just paid off my credit 2 days ago after like 3-4 days of not with a partial tacked on top. Will he do it? Will my phone die before I'm there? If it happens, will I end up asleep all day and scrounging all night just to get a half, smokes and food maybe, not enough for the day¿ and repeat! Fun stuff to wonder while traveling from the shithole of north vegas to the shit end of the "ho stroll" in one of the most notorious weeklies I can adapt to, bf bitches about wanting to get out, not that I don't want that but whatever cash isn't spent on my dope, his meth, basic necessities, alllllll gets thrown in the goddamn slot machines, then I get bitched at for now much $ goes to my dope.. A physical necessity -_-  70 in a day at most, better than throwing hundreds into slots I'd think. Dude opens in 4 mins but not gonna grovel on the bus. But whatever, I only hate how shit is if I don't have any, and so ends the self pity.



damn that depressed me! but doesnt seem your habit is too bad, right? not even using daily. do you want to stop? is it hard w/ the boyfriend there and smoking meth!? gotta do what you gotta do; you could be a degenerate gambler instead and not ever feel nice, ha.


----------



## jeebis

hey guys. so...uhh...im still alive!

after a radical shift in my friend group for the better, a 6 week long psychadelic detox (copious amounts of lsd, ketamine, mushroom chocolates, dmt, and mescaline), and a month at my new job that i fucking LOVE (i now work in a headshop full time. my job description is 1) be high 2) sell bongs, bowls, vapes, and ecig shit) I have JUST done dope for the first time since that began.

i was doing really well and only got some because a good friend of mine was really sick and i got a huge comission check from work this week so i split a bun with him. one bag has me itching like fuck and a little noddy (from the little tolerance break + massive quantities of ketamine that ive been consuming)

im not sure if im going to keep using after today. i wont be sick from this one day, which is also my only day off this week, i have access to subs and ketamine, and my life has been going great since i stopped.

oh well. i was just letting y'all know that im still alive, not incarcerated, and doing well. 

this massive j of chocolope and line of dope is for you guys


----------



## axl blaze

nice to see you, jeebis. I also work in the head shop industry as a distributor. it's a great way for folks like us to cash in on life

damn sub - be careful. I am thinking with SKL's post that all "china" is cut with fent or a fent analogue now? I don't mind it, as I have a monster tolerance

man I am sitting here waiting on my band's royalties to drop in my bank account from London. getting paid very handsomely. gonna get fucked up... wish the couple Ohio BLers that used to kick it here were still around, I'd show em a good time for a night or two


----------



## SKL

BostonBrownTown, if you don't already know about this, you'll get a kick (or something) out of this ...

Man had more than 2,500 grams of pure Fentanyl, AG says

That's about 53 million standard NYC bags according to my quick back of the envelope math.

Wouburn, MA ... not that far from you, right?

This was back in June. To judge from your posts fentanyl in your area hasn't really been hit hard, am I right?


----------



## Jabberwocky

yummy! Woburn is about a half hour or so away. I been to a clinic over there a few times when my methadone clinic wasnt serving for whatever reason that day or if I was just closer to the clinic that morning; my counselor was also out of the Woburn methadone clinic. 

so happy not to be on methadone anymore. not happy to see all that fent taken away; such good times! sad that it killed so many, tho.. but only brought me some goooooooooooood times!


----------



## cj

jeebis said:


> hey guys. so...uhh...im still alive!
> 
> after a radical shift in my friend group for the better, a 6 week long psychadelic detox (copious amounts of lsd, ketamine, mushroom chocolates, dmt, and mescaline), and a month at my new job that i fucking LOVE (i now work in a headshop full time. my job description is 1) be high 2) sell bongs, bowls, vapes, and ecig shit) I have JUST done dope for the first time since that began.
> 
> i was doing really well and only got some because a good friend of mine was really sick and i got a huge comission check from work this week so i split a bun with him. one bag has me itching like fuck and a little noddy (from the little tolerance break + massive quantities of ketamine that ive been consuming)
> 
> im not sure if im going to keep using after today. i wont be sick from this one day, which is also my only day off this week, i have access to subs and ketamine, and my life has been going great since i stopped.
> 
> oh well. i was just letting y'all know that im still alive, not incarcerated, and doing well.
> 
> this massive j of chocolope and line of dope is for you guys



I am glad your doing well Jeebis. I highly recommend you stay off the dope but its your life. If I was you I would IM K every time I had a dope craving.


----------



## jjones0207

Luck he even has access to K lol. Here it the Chi I haven't came across any at all, only PCP (which ive heard many horror stories about). 
Put it this way, if your only at day one of use, don't wake up on the second day with some dope still in ur possession. I'd bet a gamble (with odds in favor of me) most ppl will probably use the second day. Then ur in partial w/D which makes u rationalize ur alrdy guna wd so why not do more.

Then it's all downhill from there lol. Just tryna save u the headache before it leaches its hooks back into u. Hope this helps u.


----------



## superturtle

BostonBrownTown said:


> ^^ haha, I've been doing so well then I read what you had just wrote and it makes me wanna float on those dope clouds. would be very, very nice but I guess I gotta stay clean and do this life thing right. lets hope no one around me is using or I read what you have just wrote again, ha.
> 
> good stuff, bud. you enjoyed that one.



Im from Jersey -- cop out of Trenton but live near Camden and yes, to answer your question. The majority of the stuff out here is cut with fentanyl -- packs a punch and lasts forever.


----------



## chinky

What's drugs my dealer's?

Your favorite posters favorite poster is back..


----------



## chefman

Hey chinky how u been,hows life been treating you????


----------



## chinky

I'm good bro. just laying low, working and smoking weed and then once every month or 2 ill cop a lil bit and that's it. just living life and trying to stay away from trouble.  I don't got time to be where I was a couple years ago. as much as I loved getting high 4-5x a week, I get so much more satisfaction from it now that its more like a party favor. I realized how big a trigger BL is, along with shows like  intervention and drugs inc.

 its sad that I cant post here everyday like I used to but for me getting high and going on BL was a marriage, they went hand in hand. hell they still do, look I'm here posting while high right now lol. and so staying away is something I had to do to keep myself in the right mind state. like I said  I don't watch interventions or drugs inc that much cause, seeing piles of dope and dope fiends nodding off on camera, really makes me want to nod too. its like I know how good they feel at that moment cause ive been there many times. and now after 2 months I got that itch and so I scratched it with a half gram lol

whats been going on with you bro? everything been good?


----------



## axl blaze

what up chink real recognize real


----------



## subotai

Im gonna sell some computer parts for dope money this week

I owe someone some bags and was MIA for a minute but the shit I got today made me realize some shit

I havent spent my own money on dope in over a month I've just been middlemanning people

God bless America


----------



## LSDiesel

I dream of nodding off the land someday. Guerilla gardening for the win.


----------



## chinky

whats drugs my dealers??

*team nod assemble*




axl blaze said:


> what up chink real recognize real



i didn't see that til now bro, but whats good homie, whats new? making music, tours, c\just chillin? hows the woman, hows Claire?


----------



## axl blaze

good man, she's real good

not really playing any shows anymore. but the band literally made me $10,000 in royalties the past two months - I swear to God I'm not lying

unGodly amount was spent on durgs


----------



## oldhippytony

subotai said:


> Im gonna sell some computer parts for dope money this week



Bruh, did the suboxone plan fall through?   

I've been doing .5 mg. subox daily for months now.  This allows me to cop a few bags here and there and still feel it but at the same time the small dose of subox keeps the cravings in check.  It also helps with aches and pains that come with being almost 60 years old.  

After being in the dope game for 45 years, give or take, one thing that I've learned is that the MOST RELIABLE dealers are dealers who doesn't use the product they are selling.  Since January I've had two connections that I actually first met in rehab. I only dealt with them occasionally, once or twice a month, when I got the itch.  Since I don't have a dope habit now, and had a 17 year run when I was NA clean and able to focus on my career, saving and investing cash, I have some resources.  I can afford to piece off people who take care of me.  At first, both of these people (a dude and a chick) took good care of me and I'd hook them up nice ... as in 60/40 or even 50/50 if they delivered it to me!  After all, I just wanted to feel the warmth of one good shot.  After dealing with them for a few months, things started to go south. They would come up short a bag and blame it on the dealer. Or there would be a dummy bag in the bundle, or the bags would obviously be pinched.   Last month the dude called me to say he was in my neighborhood and was going to cop some “fire” (to celebrate his birthday) and was wondering if I was interested in getting down.  I had $60 in my pocket at the time and met him a few minutes later, gave him the $60.  He said he'd be right back.  A half hour later he texts me to say his connect is running late.  Long story short, he never showed and failed to respond to my texts until the next morning. I wasn't surprised.  Of course he had some dramatic excuse to explain why he left me hanging but was "going to make it right" that day.   I told him to keep the money, happy birthday, and I haven't taken a call from him since.  Fuck him. It was chump change and I was tired of his games.  A few days later, the chick also pulled some lame ass shit and I had to cut her off also.  In both cases, I was dealing with people who had dope habits.  People with dope habits can’t be trusted to make good long-range financial decisions.  I know.  For years I had a dope habit and was always broke and owed people and institutions.  

Anyway, it's nice to check in and see some of y’all still hanging around.  I'm wondering how tomatelli is doing.  Finally, I'm going to NYC this weekend to watch SU beat St. John's in the Garden.  I ran the streets of the Lower East Side in the early 1980s when things were open air, four corners.  Times have changed and I don't know a soul down there.  Regardless, I'll check out Tompkins Square Park just because ... maybe ... just maybe.


----------



## SKL

oldhippytony said:


> I'll check out Tompkins Square Park just because ... maybe ... just maybe.



Maybe is the operative word. There was a big crackdown there over the summer. There is definitely still dope to be had in the LES but it is no longer any sort of open air. You'll have to find yourself a trusty junkie most likely. And a lot of the crusties moved a good few blocks north last I checked. Good luck though.


----------



## subotai

been going to a spot thats way easier to get to for a little bit

i was under the impression the last spot I had gone to for about 2 weeks was ou on saturdays but I found out they take the whole weekend off

you know because standing around all day really tires you out and requires some days off

what about all these rap douches talking about "no days off" and shit?

ime, they are off more often than on

and if anyone has a problem with it they just blame it on the cops

"too hot out here man"

then get the fuck out of the kitchen 

fuckin minorities. have some kind of system where you keep the shit in a house, the person comes up to you and tells you what they want, walk back to a street that isnt a blatant drug spot, slap hands there, and go back to standing around. 

why do I have to do the deal right where youve been standing for the past 5 hours? that doesnt look shady at all...

god forbid they fucking walk a little bit

shit

yeah ill still buy it.

and thats the reason they dont care

because Ill still buy it


----------



## alteknj

chinky said:


> I'm good bro. just laying low, working and smoking weed and then once every month or 2 ill cop a lil bit and that's it. just living life and trying to stay away from trouble.  I don't got time to be where I was a couple years ago. as much as I loved getting high 4-5x a week, I get so much more satisfaction from it now that its more like a party favor. I realized how big a trigger BL is, along with shows like  intervention and drugs inc.
> 
> its sad that I cant post here everyday like I used to but for me getting high and going on BL was a marriage, they went hand in hand. hell they still do, look I'm here posting while high right now lol. and so staying away is something I had to do to keep myself in the right mind state. like I said  I don't watch interventions or drugs inc that much cause, seeing piles of dope and dope fiends nodding off on camera, really makes me want to nod too. its like I know how good they feel at that moment cause ive been there many times. and now after 2 months I got that itch and so I scratched it with a half gram lol
> 
> whats been going on with you bro? everything been good?



Sup chinky. Long time.

Bro, I have taken a long hiatus from BL as well. It is such a trigger for me as well. I just can't do the shit I was doing 3-4-5-6+, etc years ago. The last 2 years of my life have been 90% better. I got on the juice. Immediately I got my shit right again within 2-3 months. My health, strength, weight, mind clear. My head was in a perpetual drug fueled cloud from Jan 2014 all the way back to the mid 00's. I just can't do it anymore. 6 month runs, arrested. 10 month runs, back to rehab. On paper. Violation. More rehab, treatments, IOPS, Inpatients, Treatment Communities, 12 step meetings forced on me, drug testing, trying to stay clean and getting caught up with another habit ON paper. My nerves were shot. Losing jobs, dropping out of school, unemployed, hustling, stealing, anything to make money that day for drugs knowing any moment I get pulled over I am going to be hurting in jail for a while. It's just something I got tired of after arrest after arrest after court appearances up the ass for my driving cases. I clear one thing up and catch 2 more. It just doesn't work. I get on the methadone and my life changed. I gradually pulled myself away from all this shit.. Bluelight, all those docs and shows that are interesting to you when you are using drugs, people, places, things.. not to sound preachy. I am not on that 12 step shit. I chip every once in a while and regret it every time. But it beats hustling day in and day out with $0.00 in your pocket 24/7. I got a job, No legal issues -- all cleared up. Not on paper. Getting my license back in mere weeks. I know I can't come and just be part of this community like I was. It interested me but it sparked my junkie wheels in my head. I am just trying to move on with my life -- the car, the job, the girl. I still have a lot of issues to clear up, but it's easier to do with a clear head and not worrying about my next fix. Methadone saved my fucking ass. And I know the pro's and con's of it for sure. But I know for a fact if God forbid I ever ended up in a bad spot later on in life.. that I did it once this way before and I can do it again. The 28 day rehabs, months spent clean cold turkey in jail, all that treatment and therapy..scratches the surface 5-10%. But for me, in my case, I need this medication to live and survive. I'm happier than I was during when I was running hard for sure. And I said I have not been a complete angel. But it's a definite 90% improvement. And that works for me right now. And time will sort the rest out for me I presume.

Great to see some of the old familiar faces. I probably won't be around much as I used to. But anyone can always get up with me. Anytime.


----------



## oldhippytony

SKL said:


> Maybe is the operative word. There was a big crackdown there over the summer. There is definitely still dope to be had in the LES but it is no longer any sort of open air. You'll have to find yourself a trusty junkie most likely. And a lot of the crusties moved a good few blocks north last I checked. Good luck though.



Had a nice weekend in NYC.  Saw SU get schooled by St. Johns in the Garden.  Used airbnb for the first time and got a good deal on an apartment in the East Village on the same street where I lived for 10 years (6th St.) in the 1980s.  Walked downtown and saw the World Trade Towers fountains and on my way back uptown stopped at 100 Centre St., went through the metal detector routine, and sat in the courtroom (open 7 days a weeks, 9 am to 1 am) and watched arraignments for about an hour just to get a dose of gratitude.  You see I went through the NYC system years ago on more than one occasion during the Guliani drug sweeps and I needed to be reminded what a nightmare that shit is.  There is a funk that is unlike any other funk I've ever experienced in that joint.  Every once in a while while sitting in the gallery this weekend, I would catch a whiff.  Canned pissy street bum.  That funky smell alone is reason enough not to get back into the game. 

I did check out Tompkins Sq.  It was so clean that I'd let my grandmother walk through, if she wasn't dead already.  The same old homeless and relatively harmless crew was posted up in the southwest corner, chillin' on the benches.  My gut told me to keep walking.  I followed my gut.  Walked all the way over to Ave. D.  Everything was pretty low key. Then I stood in line at Katz's for 20 minutes for a $19 corned beef sandwich.  They should give you some lubricant with the sandwich, because they are fucking you pretty good at those prices. 

What did they "crackdown" on during the summer in the park? And BTW, "trusted junkie" is a contradiction in terms (read my most recent post).


----------



## oldhippytony

subotai said:


> yeah ill still buy it... and thats the reason they dont care... because Ill still buy it



Yup. They know no matter what, we're gonna jump through their hoops.  I remember back in the day standing in a line with 20 or 30 other people in a rubble strewn lot alongside an abandoned apartment building on the lower east side of manhattan waiting for the d-boys to re-up and start serving what at the time was the best dope in NYC ("poison" stamp).  There was a kid about 16 or so who would carry a big stick whose job it was to keep the line orderly (and if you had an extra $5 he would escort you to the front of the line ... called it "express"). That fuck would threaten to smack anyone who would not move fast enough or who would talk too loud for his liking.  Like good soldiers, everyone followed his orders.  Not to do so would mean he'd not let you cop.  That was 30 years ago.  I hope that fuck is dead or locked up today.


----------



## SKL

oldhippytony said:


> What did they "crackdown" on during the summer in the park?



There was a big media furore in June when somebody was _shocked, shocked_ to discover that there was drinking and drugging going on in the park (among other places) and there was much hand wringing and pearl clutching about going back to the "bad old days"



			
				The Post said:
			
		

> As part of its “quality of life” offensive, the NYPD has installed a “SkyWatch” observation booth in Tompkins Square Park, where The Post recently revealed that hordes of homeless people were ruining the place for everyone else.
> 
> “The drinking, the drugs — you name it, it’s out of control,” a summer parks worker said.
> 
> Longtime neighborhood resident Normen Coben, 65, called the eyes in the sky a “good idea” to help scare off the junkies who nod off in the East Village park.
> 
> “People who’ve been here for a long time see the ebb and flow of the neighborhood and the park. We are on a slippery slope right now,” Coben said.
> 
> A 30-year-old resident said she “didn’t want to live in a neighborhood that needed one of those,” but added that she no longer felt safe in the park.
> 
> One vagrant maintained that the tower was meant to appease residents paying sky-high rents, but insisted, “They’re never going to get rid of the weirdos and junkies in this neighborhood.”



(source)

They just moved, of course, and that, essentially temporarily. A lot of them wound up more around Union Square, across 14th street, etc., all the while there being similar histrionics about certain parts of Midtown West around MSG, all media bullshit really. But it made these areas hot, of course. Now cold copping from junkies of course you can do anywhere and could do worse than going to those areas. Heading uptown, Lou Reed's beloved _Lexington / one two five_ this summer was all synthetic cannabinoid freakouts, ambulances all day, every day. A bad scene. They've cracked down there, too, permanently placing one of those surveillance towers and mobile command stations there as well.



> And BTW, "trusted junkie" is a contradiction in terms (read my most recent post).



Indeed. 'twas said with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Sure I am not telling anything new to anyone here but as someone with a fair bit of experience cold copping off random junkies you get a sense though at which one will at least just moderately tap your bags instead of running off with your money. The unstable couples screaming at each other are perhaps the easiest kind of junkie to find but they are too unstable to work with. Along with the chiller, more righteous type of old heads at the exchanges, hipster semi-junkies which is to say hipsters making the transition to junkiedom, after ceasing to give a fuck about visible track marks and public nods in the park, but before eviction, routine stays in the Tombs, and total degeneracy, are probably the best population to go with. All bets are off though ... while everyone has lost money through dodgy middlemen, all bets are off even with insurance ... I've not had this happen to me, but I've definitely know people who've been left with some random junkie's pack, dog, or even girlfriend while said junkie fucks off with a bundle or two's worth of cash and just doesn't come back. My buddy actually got a sickly crusty dog that way that he nursed back to health. Nobody I know got a girlfriend that way though, even a sickly crusty one. But I digress.


----------



## oldhippytony

SKL said:


> ... placing one of those surveillance towers and mobile command stations there as well.



Ah ha!  _That's_ what I saw on 2nd ave around 28th St.  I walked by this elevated lookout tower covered in NYPD decals and was puzzled at first, only because of its novelty (at least to me).  I'm not surprised though, as it's just another move in the decades long cat and mouse chess game between the cops and the dopers.

Thanks for the link and the update on the old neighborhood. While I got a chuckle out of the (over)reaction of some of the residents, I have to admit that if I paid $500,000 for my studio apartment overlooking 3rd St. and Ave B, I wouldn't want that corner looking like it did back in the 1980's.  Man, those were the days, shit was wide open.  Difference is, today many more people in the game are carrying guns.    

Finally, your depiction of the wide variation that exists along the path to complete and total degeneracy, and the degree to which one can be trusted contingent upon their unique and often fluid position on this continuum, is quite accurate.  A "sickly crusty girlfriend" offered as insurance against running off with dope money ... only in our world.   BTW... If I ever find myself with that offer, I'd ask the couple if they had a dog.


----------



## Jabberwocky

theres been no good dope discussion on here in a bit. 

anyone got any good stories? I've got shit myself.


----------



## oldhippytony

All my good stories are 30 years old and probably can be found in my prior entries.  BBT, come at us if you've got sumpthin.


----------



## Jabberwocky

nah, living a boring somewhat "sober" life nowadays. doing suboxone daily is not as fun to be told as shooting dope in randoms bathrooms throughout the day.


----------



## oldhippytony

alteknj said:


> BL ... is such a trigger for me as well ...  I got on the juice. Immediately I got my shit right again within 2-3 months. My health, strength, weight, mind clear. ... I gradually pulled myself away from all this shit.. I got a job, No legal issues -- all cleared up. Not on paper. Getting my license back in mere weeks... Methadone saved my fucking ass... I'm happier than I was during when I was running hard for sure.



Now that's some hope right there. That's my story in part also.  In and out of jail, broke, shitty jobs, broke, sick, and broke.  Methadone turned things around for me for a few years.  Eventually I went back to using for a minute, and the shitstorm came back fast, but I had a taste of life not being chained to the dope while on the juice, and I quickly decided to go back to detox and get on the juice again.  Fortunately (and to my surprise) after I was admitted to the detox floor (after spending 12 hours in the ER) they told me they didn't administer methadone for opiate withdraws.   WTF!!!!  I wasn't a happy camper, but by then I was 36 hours into cold turkey, 5 hours drive away from the dope spot, and I was broke.  It was the first time in months that I was in a real bed with clean sheets.  Fuggit.  I'm going to white knuckle this thing, get some rest and some food (courtesy of the State of New York - Medicaid) and then figure out a hustle to get some cash and cop.  Well, that day didn't come.  I went directly to a 30 day rehab and then did a 6 month outpatient gig.  After a few brief runs, I stayed clean for 17+ years. This is all to say that in my experience ... methadone was a necessary step for me to turn my life around.  

After all those years clean, I had oral surgery and got a Rx for hydros.  That woke up the monkey and since then I stopped going to 12 step meetings and I've been chipping here and there for .. oh .. 3 or 4 years now.  I have to admit, I miss the camaraderie I felt while attending meetings. While there are plenty of douches in "the rooms," I got tight with a handful of guys (and a few sisters too) and I don't see them hardly at all now that I don't go to meetings.   

Keep up the good work alteknj.


----------



## jeebis

Wellp. Due to a ton of super shitty circumstances (i got fired from my job because my manager was stealing, which is shit, my bestfriend/girl i loved told me to leave her alone for ever while she dates my fucking cousin, and my brother is looking at going to jail for a very long time due to false rape charges (long story, total bullshit, but now i just want him back)...ive been using drugs again.

Besides the standard amazing weed/wax, ive been sniffing dope again (but have been limiting my self to 50 dollars a day, and somedays i dont even cop), taking kpins, valium, and xanax when theyre around, abusing tons of adderall for work (now i work at s gas station. Fuck), been taking acid on the weekends (i got a sheet of PHENOMINAL gel tabs before my guy left this weekend for BassLights), coke when i hang out with my friend (who sells coke), and ive been dabbling with methdabs while im nodding on h (meth dab is when you get your dab tool super coated in meth then take the dab as you normally wod)

Needless to say im an emotionally broken person right now and have been coping with drugs. 

The only plus side is i might be losing my gay virginity. Ill be the first one to admit thst i am a pansexual (sexually attracted to any person regardless of sexuality or gender),but have never actually sought out male on male sexual interaction aftwr i was raped when i was 18 (especially when i love women as much, if not more, than men, and am veyond happt with them. BUT I like penis but hate whats attatxhed to it (plus, imo, nothing will ever beat a proper women), but my gay friend straight up said that he will let me get as messed up as i needed to to sleep with him as a means of coming to terms with what happened to me since its secretly been a huge trigger for me and overcoming it will greatly reduce my anxiety and lead me to not need drugs to cope as much anymore. 

I only bring this anectdote up because ive gotten so sick of the cyxle of addiction and replase that i meed to go to the extreme to solve the cause. 

Needless to say, im so sick of my drug abuse that im digging through anything that may be a trigger. Im running out of ideas, people. Im going crazy because of my personal life. I need this because ts my last hope. Ive tried everything else. And no matter what you say, we all have repressed sexual shit. Maybe it effects us more than we think

/ice+h fueled rant. Sorry y'all.

But its kinda sad that everyone knows the way to recovery is to fsce the emotional triggers but it takes years upon years, if ever, to lose the ego of it and embrace it.


----------



## subotai

just think about it real good before you go down that route man

I dont really have an opinion on homosexuality, not for or against it. I just dont want you to exacerbate an already dark period in your life by finding out that you aren't even remotely bi-curious halfway through your experiment and who knows what that would lead to

but if its something you feel comfortable with, who am I to say its right or wrong. Ive always felt that people who use illegal drugs really cant have an agenda on anything relating to morality because that would be hypocritical. 

everyone should just do whatever they want, so long as it excludes murder, rape, violence, thievery, you know all the usual frowned upon stuff


----------



## chefman

That's messed up,get your mind clear first,so u can make good decisions,good luck man


----------



## Burnt Offerings

subotai said:


> just think about it real good before you go down that route man
> 
> I dont really have an opinion on homosexuality, not for or against it. I just dont want you to exacerbate an already dark period in your life by finding out that you aren't even remotely bi-curious halfway through your experiment and who knows what that would lead to
> 
> but if its something you feel comfortable with, who am I to say its right or wrong. Ive always felt that people who use illegal drugs really cant have an agenda on anything relating to morality because that would be hypocritical.
> 
> everyone should just do whatever they want, so long as it excludes murder, rape, violence, thievery, you know all the usual frowned upon stuff



You say that people who use illegal drugs can't take moral positions (why that is doesn't make sense to me, but whatever...), but then you take a moral position in that last sentence.


----------



## BrianSachse

Hroin


----------



## BrianSachse

The truth is that morality is embedded in our brain at the....( for lack of better word) top of our brain. In the prefrontal cortex. Our addiction is regulated farther down in our brain. A more primitive brain. Before we have time to think about it we are receiving input that may or may not be a trigger for a particular person. The statement that says an addict cannot be moral is not true. That it is hypocritical to be a moral drug addict. How someone must be willing to purposely account to this is another story. There are
two types of Moral people. 1) the one that go out everyday to get an income to take care of their addiction. The other type is that person who does a bunch of shady stuff like lying to and not to you . When  person is growing up u can already tell if they are held to their actions. I also think that the guy would push I
Him back  UT both times my dad didn't do anything. I  belive that if I want to make us stronger as a people. A one nation, Under Some, sort of god,  idevisijsible


----------



## SKL

Burnt Offerings said:


> subotai said:
> 
> 
> 
> just think about it real good before you go down that route man
> 
> I dont really have an opinion on homosexuality, not for or against it. I just dont want you to exacerbate an already dark period in your life by finding out that you aren't even remotely bi-curious halfway through your experiment and who knows what that would lead to
> 
> but if its something you feel comfortable with, who am I to say its right or wrong. Ive always felt that people who use illegal drugs really cant have an agenda on anything relating to morality because that would be hypocritical.
> 
> everyone should just do whatever they want, so long as it excludes murder, rape, violence, thievery, you know all the usual frowned upon stuff
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You say that people who use illegal drugs can't take moral positions (why that is doesn't make sense to me, but whatever...), but then you take a moral position in that last sentence.
Click to expand...


off topic as fuck but
_exactly_, offerings
I mean we have some things that in our current society are beyond the pale
paedophilia is a great example, but of course murder, rape, whatever
but not too long ago homosexuality was beyond the pale
now, I'm emphatically not arguing for a moral relativism with respect for paedophiles or rapists or murders
but rather that it is quite too easy to be selective with what we inherit from our ancestors with regards to morality
kind of opens us up to a lot charges of hypocrisy or the equivalent of "cafeteria Catholicism" outside(?) the church
but, as far as drugs go, really, the moral outrage about the use of things like opiates
is a relatively modern innovation
King James VI and I wrote a _Counterblaste to Tobacco_
and there were some various critiques of opium &c. but the Opium War was fought for access to opium not to eliminate it 
at least as far as the West goes
so really, moral outrage at drugs is the innovation
not the occasional indulgence or use to palliate pain, either physical or psychic
even the contemporary Catholic catechism teaches that the use of drugs _extra indicationes stricte therapeuticas, gravis est culpa_
(CCE 2291) but see, _extra indicationes..._ or less makes the decision a clinical, rather than a moral, one
there's nothing about don't get high, don't enjoy drugs, just don't use them without a therapeutic reason
which IMO leaves open a lot of room for sympathetic treatment of addicts with, e.g. heroin substitution
or again the use of drugs to palliate pain, again, physiologic or psychic


----------



## subotai

my take on morality is anything that does harm to others without their permission is immoral.

you know, like rape, murder, thievery, etc.

its not hard to figure out right from wrong if you arent a fucking idiot

some people argue that homosexuality does harm to their religious beliefs to which Id tell those people to take it up the ass because religion has been the cause of more immoral things throughout history then anything else


----------



## subotai

This website really amazes me when it becomes more than a website. And I know most of the users on BL dont care about open air drug markets, but I have a lot of respect for the few good people you can  meet throughout your time getting high.

Id like to think im a good person. If a homeless guy asks me for change, and I have some to spare, I give it to him. If someone asks to buy a cig off me and I have enough left, I just give em one. If I see an old black guy hobbling his way toward the subway with a look of desperation on his face, I stick my ass in the doorway and give him those extra 5 seconds to get in. And ill probably never see these people again, but I just try and act how I was raised regardless of the set or setting im in. I dont see junkies as junkies, I see them as people. Obviously, a lot of them are shysters who will turn on you in a second but that's why you never let them know that you have anything of value for them to try and take from you. But when you meet those few good people caught up in the same lifestyle you are in, there's a weird camaraderie that exists amongst users. Junkies are actually some of the most generous and kind hearted people you will ever meet, so long as they have their fix. But at the end of the day, there's just too many shysters to outweigh the good people so most of us walk this path alone, save for the occasional small talk while waiting for a fix or something. I dont know how long im going to go down this path or how what I could have done with my life by now if I never got started, but at least I can say I walked it as a decent human being.


----------



## jeebis

Morality for me is defined by my diehard belief in karma. As long as youre not hurting anyone else in any way (emotionally or physically), theres usually nothing wrong with it. As the kids these days say: "do you, fam."

But shits been going really well for me actually, not that anyone was curious. New job. New side job building quartz coils for a local headshop. New girl. Free tickets to umphreys mcgee in february + i snagged tickets to camp bisco and electric forest. And my buddy gifted me his co2 system for making dabs before he got a real job (lol), so the past month has been a blur of dabs, k, titties, and vape stuff.

Figured id check in with the nod squad since i started back up with this shit. It started with a 3 day bender of shooting k into my thighs and now ive been sorta shooting dope into the muscle in my arm since im still way too much of a bitch to IV (its a traumatic history with me with needles so iv almost isnt an option). But i have a question. 

Ive been trying to do what i can but what would you guys recommend to help the harm reduction side if this since im im'ing and not iv'ing?


----------



## SKL

please don't i.m. street drugs
just don't
asking for an abscess 
if you must, obviously, wheel filter
also, don't use insulin syringes
use 1-1.5" syringes actually made for IMing
z-track properly
rotate sites
injection into the vastus lateralis (thigh) is dangerous though
near many blood vessels and nerves
dorsogluteal, ventrogluteal, and deltoid are all preferable
although hitting your own glute takes a little practice and contortion 
but yeah, i.v. is safer, perhaps counterintuitively


----------



## jeebis

I know the abcess risk which is why ive been using wheel filters, the right syringes, certain purification methods, etc. But i didnt think about that stuff for my thigh. Thank you. After your post and reading some other stuff im just ginna stick to putting it up my nose. I would iv but due to some shit in the past i could never hit my self (but im totally cool if someone else does). But i think ill just stick to occasional IM situations with ketamine.

It was pretty fucking decent for the minute i was doing it though lol. I got myself a handful of zubsolvs/dabs/k/lsd for microdosing for the next few days so im just gonna stay away from dope for awhile anyways....hopefully......maybe.....


----------



## ashleyrose969

anyone on here from springfield ? just moved here 2 days ago


----------



## SKL

BostonBrownTown said:


> theres been no good dope discussion on here in a bit.
> 
> anyone got any good stories? I've got shit myself.



okay here is a good dope story that just happened
today I decided to relapse or chip a little bit, to get a couple of bundles
a friend gives me a number but warns me he hasn't used it in a little while
i text it, we go back and forth, I go out to the projects in brooklyn to cop
get 2 bundles from some kid and start back on my way home
no sooner do I start heading back to the city then I get a call on my phone

_"yo, the shit that that kid sold you was bunk. 
we just beat the shit out of him and told him to get off our turf.
if you wanna get the real deal, hit me up"

_i was skeptical
"how did you get my number?"

_"i told you we beat the shit out of that young boy. 
we got his phone too so we can get his customers right.
can't have punk niggas giving the M—— a bad name"_

"so am I gonna get the dope I paid for?"

_"no sorry can't do that"_

"can't fuck with you too shady sorry"

_"no look I can make it up to you though
we do delivery anywhere in brooklyn or manhattan
you can try before you buy
and I'll throw you a few bags"_

"well, OK ..."

not 45 minutes later he is at my door
he is a consummate professional and a chill guy
and his shit is banging
bit spendy but more than worth it for the quality and especially the service
says he or his people delivers 24/7 usually within the hour
now I am scared for my upcoming relapse
but I am mightily pleased with my new plug
tbh was worth being out the $$$ for the initial 2 bundles


----------



## Burnt Offerings

^ I'm envious of that kind of service. Although I probably shouldn't be, I'm trying not to do that kind of thing anymore.

But yeah, it would be awesome to come across someone who runs their business like a consummate professional who's running a BUSINESS, rather than the scrubs I usually have to go through. Although my latest connection is pretty damn good...since going through them (father + son duo) I get my dope at about 2/3 of the price I was spending originally. The price just keeps going down, too, while the quality stays the same. I like buying drugs from the older folks around here...the people my age and younger never seem to be on top of their shit


----------



## SayingSeven

subotai said:


> This website really amazes me when it becomes more than a website. And I know most of the users on BL dont care about open air drug markets, but I have a lot of respect for the few good people you can  meet throughout your time getting high.
> 
> Id like to think im a good person. If a homeless guy asks me for change, and I have some to spare, I give it to him. If someone asks to buy a cig off me and I have enough left, I just give em one. If I see an old black guy hobbling his way toward the subway with a look of desperation on his face, I stick my ass in the doorway and give him those extra 5 seconds to get in. And ill probably never see these people again, but I just try and act how I was raised regardless of the set or setting im in. I dont see junkies as junkies, I see them as people. Obviously, a lot of them are shysters who will turn on you in a second but that's why you never let them know that you have anything of value for them to try and take from you. But when you meet those few good people caught up in the same lifestyle you are in, there's a weird camaraderie that exists amongst users. Junkies are actually some of the most generous and kind hearted people you will ever meet, so long as they have their fix. But at the end of the day, there's just too many shysters to outweigh the good people so most of us walk this path alone, save for the occasional small talk while waiting for a fix or something. I dont know how long im going to go down this path or how what I could have done with my life by now if I never got started, but at least I can say I walked it as a decent human being.



That was refreshing to read. This is exactly how I feel. But I really have yet to meet another user who has that kind of moral integrity... Not that I don't understand where they're coming from; I know how it feels to be so desperate. So I try not to judge where people are at. Still, since entering the world of IV heroin use 8 years ago, there are lines that I haven't crossed simply because I have maintained my sense of empathy for others. There are worse things than being dopesick, even if it may not feel like it at the time.


----------



## subotai

SayingSeven said:


> That was refreshing to read. This is exactly how I feel. But I really have yet to meet another user who has that kind of moral integrity... Not that I don't understand where they're coming from; I know how it feels to be so desperate. So I try not to judge where people are at. Still, since entering the world of IV heroin use 8 years ago, there are lines that I haven't crossed simply because I have maintained my sense of empathy for others. There are worse things than being dopesick, even if it may not feel like it at the time.



Its actually complete bullshit to be honest. Im a nice person when im fucked up, but its an everyday struggle just to maks that happen. So, in actuality, im pretty much a scumbag. Getting high is the only thing that I enjoy anymore, at the expense of my relationship with other people.

I haven't talked to my brother in 2 months, because I get  high

I havent talked to my dad in over 2 months, because I get high

My aunt is nothing more than I bank to me now, and Im a delivery service to her, because we get high

But even with all the lows, I've yet to find anything else that can get me that high

So I keep going back because im selfish and dont know what else to do with myself. Ill figure it out eventually, but id be lying if I said that was close to that happening.

Idk what im doing right now except moving from one ten dollar transaction to the next. I dont think in terms of money anymore, If I get 60 dollars for whatever reason I think "there's six bags" instead of "there's sixty dollars"

Its not a disease, im just a piece of shit.

They say the night is darkest before dawn, bur what if you dont wake up before sunrise? 

Here's to "figuring it out" one bag at a time


----------



## Jabberwocky

SKL said:


> okay here is a good dope story that just happened
> today I decided to relapse or chip a little bit, to get a couple of bundles
> a friend gives me a number but warns me he hasn't used it in a little while
> i text it, we go back and forth, I go out to the projects in brooklyn to cop
> get 2 bundles from some kid and start back on my way home
> no sooner do I start heading back to the city then I get a call on my phone
> 
> _"yo, the shit that that kid sold you was bunk.
> we just beat the shit out of him and told him to get off our turf.
> if you wanna get the real deal, hit me up"
> 
> _i was skeptical
> "how did you get my number?"
> 
> _"i told you we beat the shit out of that young boy.
> we got his phone too so we can get his customers right.
> can't have punk niggas giving the M—— a bad name"_
> 
> "so am I gonna get the dope I paid for?"
> 
> _"no sorry can't do that"_
> 
> "can't fuck with you too shady sorry"
> 
> _"no look I can make it up to you though
> we do delivery anywhere in brooklyn or manhattan
> you can try before you buy
> and I'll throw you a few bags"_
> 
> "well, OK ..."
> 
> not 45 minutes later he is at my door
> he is a consummate professional and a chill guy
> and his shit is banging
> bit spendy but more than worth it for the quality and especially the service
> says he or his people delivers 24/7 usually within the hour
> now I am scared for my upcoming relapse
> but I am mightily pleased with my new plug
> tbh was worth being out the $$$ for the initial 2 bundles



I've always had delivery but it was based on THEIR TIME! if I could get dope ANYTIME within an hour to the door.. well, I'd prob. still be junked out. thats just too easy, man, ha. but good for you; if you can somehow stay clean, and maybe, just maybe, pick up every once in a while (the junkie in me talking) then thats a great connect. 

did you try the original shit u got? I am sick and prob still would have shot it.


----------



## Estimated Prophet

Just been back in Denver a few weeks and couldn't resist the urge to go cop some dope. I have been clean for 6 months this time but I just wanted to get high again a few times.  Yeah I know how this goes... But anyway, I got off work and headed to the old spot I used to know of wondering how hard it would be to get some. I walked up to the spot and found a guy literally just walking up. I told him I just wanted a point for $10 but he told me he didn't do that and had to get $15. So I coughed up the other $5 of course and he handed me the bag and I walked off quickly. 
I felt in my pocket and thought I had been ripped off for sure. The bag felt really big for how much I spent but I couldn't see it cause of how it's sold here (tied black trash bags) so I just felt it and thought he probably just sold me a rock in a bag or something.
I got home and opened it and it as dope for sure, but it wasn't a point... I weighed it and it was .3!  I smoked it all and enjoyed it a lot, and said it was the last time.

Today I went back to the same spot... Same dude. Same price, same weight....   I gotta stay the hell away from there and the dope 

Just felt like sharing since this thread had died


----------



## Felonious Monk

They have tar or powder in denver?


----------



## SKL

The aforementioned awesome dope hookup isn't answering calls for a few days. I have a few days left and am sure I can scrounge something from junkie ingenuity but even if not withdrawal builds character.


----------



## Estimated Prophet

It's all tar in Denver


----------



## Burnt Offerings

Felonious Monk said:


> They have tar or powder in denver?



I'm sure you could probably find powder if you looked hard enough...I live in Alaska, where, believe, it IS all tar. But even I've seen "china white". It was probably fentanyl, though (it was a very light tan/white-ish powder). Up here I've seen heroin powder the color of milk chocolate ("gunpowder heroin", which is pretty much just BTH in a different form), tar the color of oil, and "china white" (light tan powder that was probably fent...got me high as fuck but the high was kind of...weird. I'm not sure how to describe it)

Real, legitimate ECP is a kind of greyish color, isn't it?


----------



## Felonious Monk

Burnt Offerings said:


> Real, legitimate ECP is a kind of greyish color, isn't it?



Sometimes.  I think the few times I got it was more of a very light tan tho.

Tar just kinda weirds me out a little after only ever having ecp.  I kinda want to try it but buying dope in LA kinda freaks me out a little.


----------



## Burnt Offerings

Do they have "open air markets" in Los Angeles?


----------



## Jabberwocky

in LA, yes. its called Skid Row.not even sure if I am supposed to give that info away but you can Google it and find out if you really wanted to. what is whacky about is it is the fact that the police station is right in the middle of it all. its kinda like how it is around certain parts of Boston as well within the city; there is always a station, a bunch of those who live on the street, and a bunch of hustling going on. then again, there are many more/much more in LA since it is "nice out" and not freezing cold like it is here in Boston! the Bostons street hustlers deserve a ONE WAY TICKET to LA and enjoy the street life; esp. if they can get to Venice Beach. I've been there enough, spoke to enough of those who live on the "street" or "beach" and tell me how happy they are compared to past life. do I believe in everything they say!? no, of course not. they think telling me a good story will lead me to giving them more money. just like, in LA, they will always ask where I am from FIRST, and then follow up w/ they are also RIGHT FROM THERE! even tho they dont have the accent, know a damn thing about Boston (besides Whitey Buldger or the popular things) or can even identify the fucking Boston Red Sox hat I am wearing most times, lol

but sure, you are from Boston, so I will give you a $10 rather than this $1 I was going to originally give. 

I once to hustled the street, but not for long and it was a bit of a different time/situation for me, but I played it real and did not just bullshit those who passed. jokes, yes. jokes about life insanity on both ends, yes. truth yes. truth about what comes your way unexpectedly at times, yes. 

street hustlers/homeless/"bums", the truth is how to play it. esp. when it comes to us ex-hustlers who you run into and maybe life has changed and they can afford to leave the tip, so at least tell a real story which he can relate or understand and the "tip" will be that much bigger.


----------



## Burnt Offerings

Oh, Boston? You mean Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, "Good Will Hunting"? "Get in the caaaaaaah"?


----------



## Jabberwocky

lol, yes. but sometimes people will try to put on that fake accent. its pretty funny, man. I think they got it from Good Will Hunting! 

pahhhhhkkkk the caaaaaahhhh in Havaaaahddddd Yaaaaaaad

park the car in Harvard yard.


----------



## SKL

but only really a tiny majority (in terms of geography, class, etc.) actually speak that way IME and i've spent enough time in boston
ps big papi's demand for a standing ovation is the definition of classlessness i would've cheered him at his last AB but not now
jeter got it at fenway and deserved it but did not ask for it, that is the difference between class and classlessness 
(I love Fenway btw, been to maybe 10 gfames there always a great time)
but let's return to dialogue about our shared love of heroin (and how I just found 2 bags laying around that will keep me thru tomorrow bedtime even if my contact doesn't get back to me but other than that it looks like cold coppin time and fuck it is actually _cold_) and BBT join us in the S&G MLB thread because it's dead af there plzkthx :D


----------



## Felonious Monk

I don't really think Skid Row is where you'd want to go to pick up drugs...  Maybe, but there's so many homeless people these days it overwhelms any drug selling unless you get out of your car and walk in.  In which case you better be messed up and dirty to not draw attention, cause people don't go there, except outreach workers and police

I'd imagine there are some, either in areas of south central or up by Pacoima (which is worse than compton inglewood these days I'd say).  I've heard that are even some open air dope spots in Orange County.

SF has the better open air I'd say, LA they're too spread out but I'm sure lots and lots of smaller ones


----------



## SKL

some of the more interesting open air markets I've copped in were in New England, Connecticut actually, where you can be in old New England town then 5 minutes in suburban subdivisions then 5 minutes cold copping in the hood and right back in certain towns


----------



## Felonious Monk

It's gotten scarily accessible in a lot of places.  I've randomly come across CL ads here but I'm too sketched out to try that


----------



## Jimborick69

I hitch hiked out to Los Angeles once last year from the Cincinnati area, they sell ten dollar lemon heads of decent tar and one dollar spice joints. The shit in Cincinnati is so much better. Hard rocks of grey most the time and no reason to step on it cause it is bad for business. Kinda pricey at a Buck forty a g but Dang oh Dang is it potent.


----------



## Estimated Prophet

I got some powder in Denver the other day but it's what I would call gunpowder really.  It smoked pretty good though since that's how I use... My friend said it was good too and he shoots.  Keeping my use super low tho, won't use till net week probably


----------



## Felonious Monk

I'll be honest, I miss snorting dope.  But my tolerance would be WAY higher if I didn't have access to measured doses of oxy.  I can keep my tolerance at 0-to-low by just using enough to cover what I honestly believe is a natural endorphin deficit.


----------



## Jabberwocky

sometimes I get lost in how good the dope is because I hear/see people on here tell me a G will last them days meanwhile I'd blow through a G in hours. so am I just a super junkie or do I get the worst dope in the world? lol. I barely use anymore but its something that I always saw on here. 

I have shared w/ others and seem them drop/nod using less than I would but always wondered/wanted to get what the "others" get.


----------



## oldhippytony

SKL said:


> I go out to the projects in brooklyn to cop
> get 2 bundles from some kid ... then I get a call on my phone ... "yo, the shit that that kid sold you was bunk."





SKL said:


> The aforementioned awesome dope hookup isn't answering calls for a few days. I have a few days left and am sure I can scrounge something from junkie ingenuity but even if not withdrawal builds character.


So were the bundles you copped in Bklyn any good at all?  Has the awesome dope hookup finally answered?  I was in NYC recently and almost answered an ad on Cragslist talking about stamped bundles of diesel delivered. But I knew I'd be in Philly in a day or two so I passed on making that craigslist call. 

I tried to get a prescription for suboxone earlier this year. I only need 2 mgs. or less (usually less) a day to keep cravings in check. I've been copping 8 mg strips for at least a year now on the street but find it hard to cut them into 16 pieces when I taper down to .5 per day.  I can't seem to jump off completely, nor do I want to. So I thought I would find a doctor locally (upstate NY) who would write me a Rx for 2 mgs strips and I could do this legally. Unfortunately every doctor I spoke to was connected to some type of treatment facility and they ALL told me I had to participate in counseling 3 x per week as a condition of getting the suboxone.  Are you kidding me?  Three sessions x two hours per session, plus driving 30 miles to and from means over 6 hours in counseling, PLUS paying for these sessions @ $100 per session (my co-pay would be $20) plus paying to see the doctor twice a month to get the scripts plus paying for the suboxone at the drug store .... FUCK that adds up.   All because "they" can get away with it.     So ... instead of paying hundreds I've been driving to Philly every month or so where I can get all the suboxone I want for next to nothing on the street.  This system is backwards.  It's easier and less expensive for me to get what I need illegally than through legal channels.  Meanwhile, while in Philly I've been grabbing some decent stamps, but that's another story entirely.


----------



## noddinoff

Jimborick69 said:


> I hitch hiked out to Los Angeles once last year from the Cincinnati area, they sell ten dollar lemon heads of decent tar and one dollar spice joints. The shit in Cincinnati is so much better. Hard rocks of grey most the time and no reason to step on it cause it is bad for business. Kinda pricey at a Buck forty a g but Dang oh Dang is it potent.



Jesus Christ I pay a hundred dollars less than that for a g of good shit in mass. That's horrible I'd go broke so fast.


----------



## Burnt Offerings

noddinoff said:


> Jesus Christ I pay a hundred dollars less than that for a g of good shit in mass. That's horrible I'd go broke so fast.



You don't even want to hear what a gram of heroin costs where I live, then


----------



## Jabberwocky

noddinoff said:


> Jesus Christ I pay a hundred dollars less than that for a g of good shit in mass. That's horrible I'd go broke so fast.



thats pretty damn nice for a G in mass; where in mass you located? best I see is 60-80. sometimes even 100 when someone tries to over charge fent.


----------



## jeebis

Tmw you tesch your dealers to use encrypited everyrhing and there are message boards on tor about my local scenes dealers and shit. 

Technology ftw


----------



## noddinoff

BostonBrownTown said:


> thats pretty damn nice for a G in mass; where in mass you located? best I see is 60-80. sometimes even 100 when someone tries to over charge fent.


Law town


----------



## Jabberwocky

noddinoff said:


> Law town



thats dope capital, basically. you gotta know someone, tho. I dont know the area that well since I am from Eastie.


----------



## tomatalli

Was getting an adminastrative taper from methadone and the next day I got a job that starts before any clinic opens so im back to shooting up.  FML


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

SKL said:


> I have a few days left and am sure I can scrounge something from junkie ingenuity but even if not withdrawal builds character.



Hi SKL ?
I always hated that comment. 
... withdrawal builds character...

Maybe I'm just a pussy but I start freaking out the second I do my last bag and know there isn't any in sight for a little while. And by a little while, I mean I haven't had to stave-off wd for longer than 18hrs in last 5 yrs besides the week in the clink last year. 

Gawd that's pathetic.


----------



## SKL

I'm on Suboxone now, from which (even more so methadone) withdrawal is even worse than what it's supposed to supplant, but thankfully have a very understanding (but pretty expensive concierge-medicine style doctor who I just call whenever pay cash and meet him at a cafe or his luxury apartment) doctor and pharmacist (at a local family-owned independent store which I've found to be the best, and which has fronted me a few pills once in a while), God bless them, but as far as heroin does, I kind of do believe that withdrawal builds character (and lowers tolerance as either a side benefit or a convenient way of killed, depending on whether or not you're an idiot when you do your first shot afterwards) … 

But what it _does_ do, and what I mainly mean by that sense, is that it teaches you that it is not the end of the world. Knowing you won't have your DoC (including when I had to get a bupe Rx on _shabbos_ from my Jewish Dr.) for a few days _is_ panic inducing, but once you realize that unless your dope habit is truly astronomical, then kicking it is no more three really bad days of diarrhea and flu symptoms and the rest, and then two pretty bad days of feeling agitated, and then another few days of general unpleasantness, physically anyway (the psychological part being the hardest; or all of us would've just quit, including me, and not have gone on bupe) … worse things happen … 

I mean, I'd take that over catching a beating with steel boots and baseball bats, which has happened to me, or getting stabbed or shot, only the former has happened to me and it was more of a slice than a stab, but still, or getting a broken leg and dislocated shoulder and back injury trying and/or lesser injuries in the course of physically controlling one of my "students," which has also happened to me—and I still can't run or climb stairs properly without gripping the watchamacallit even if the devil out of hell was chasing me and am a fat bastard behind that—these of course in the opposite corners of my junkiedom and professional life, or even the psychological trauma of being the victim of an armed home invasion (bound and hooded and threatened with guns and shit, happened to me twice), or a three day bout of delerious cotton fever brought on by a really stupid attempt to shoot questionable dope and OTC doxylamine as a potentiator, or even, maybe, the mental agony of a really bad breakup, I mean, what I guess I'm trying to say is, bad stuff happens in life, especially in The Life, so;







…and, not to say that being a junkie is something you aspire to, but you can't really say you're a junkie unless you've had to kick dope in jail or some similarly adverse situation …

either way, out there in the big bad world … _you learn that that shit is relative_, you know, not so much "kids starving in Africa"-relative, but more so like, look, I can learn how to tell my lizard-brain to STFU once in a while, right? Dope is relative.


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

SKL said:


> but you can't really say you're a junkie unless you've had to kick dope in jail



Don't really know if I fully believe in that statement fully either- but been there, done that; the 2 worst times being 1) kicking 100% cold turkey and 2) getting locked up less than 20 hours after having a grand mal seizure but getting Librium to at least curb some w/d. 

As awful as it IS, I think the fact that KNOWING there is absolutely NOTHING you can do kind of helps with the mental idiocracy when you're locked up. Even if droogz are obtainable, it's still a good 72 hours before you're moved into Gen Pop to obtain them. And by that point the worst of the worst is over. 
Or at least in my experiences. 

On the outs, I can't even fathom getting 48 hour in... I'm a massive pussy... 10 hours in and im throwing knives at people closest to me.


Yanno, everyone is always explaining w/d being the flu times 10 but always fails to mention that along with that is the mental anguish of being on the worst acid trip time 100 billion while you are shitting yourself and throwing up while you're freezing and sweating. Much more accurate. Everyone always leaves out the mental mind fuck and is just like it's like the worst flu you ever had. Like balls it is.


----------



## phactor

iLoveYouWithaKnife said:


> Don't really know if I fully believe in that statement fully either- but been there, done that; the 2 worst times being 1) kicking 100% cold turkey and 2) getting locked up less than 20 hours after having a grand mal seizure but getting Librium to at least curb some w/d.
> 
> As awful as it IS, I think the fact that KNOWING there is absolutely NOTHING you can do kind of helps with the mental idiocracy when you're locked up. Even if droogz are obtainable, it's still a good 72 hours before you're moved into Gen Pop to obtain them. And by that point the worst of the worst is over.
> Or at least in my experiences.
> 
> On the outs, I can't even fathom getting 48 hour in... I'm a massive pussy... 10 hours in and im throwing knives at people closest to me.
> 
> 
> Yanno, everyone is always explaining w/d being the flu times 10 but always fails to mention that along with that is the mental anguish of being on the worst acid trip time 100 billion while you are shitting yourself and throwing up while you're freezing and sweating. Much more accurate. Everyone always leaves out the mental mind fuck and is just like it's like the worst flu you ever had. Like balls it is.



Just wanna say that I love your avatar. As for jail detox, I have never been locked up but have worked with long term prisoners. Medical treatment is extremely lacking for individuals in withdrawal. I think if they would address it properly then drugs wouldn't be as big of a problem inside jail/prison


----------



## JosephTHeSequel

JosephTHeSequel said:


> god damn yhour name sounds familiar phactor..... did we meet in person? were you ever in northern va?



god damn your name sounds familiar phactor..... did we meet in person? did you ever live in northern va. I used to know a shitload of people on here some years back especially in the dc-metro, and baltimore area....  I fell out of touch big time some years back though and am just coming back I miss this place and am now just coming across some of my old friends..... In this case, VERY old, lol %)


----------



## subotai

phactor said:


> Medical treatment is extremely lacking for individuals in withdrawal.


true


phactor said:


> I think if they would address it properly then drugs wouldn't be as big of a problem inside jail/prison


false


----------



## iLoveYouWithaKnife

that's such a blanket statement with no revelation to what we are discussing.


----------



## Frankm

Can anyone help me? i have ibs and the pain is unbelievable. I got 10 20 mil abuse deterant pills but they constipate me because the pills are like cement. Is there anyway to get around having to take these. Can i extract the pain medicine without having to consume all these polymers.


----------



## SKL

Frankm said:


> Can anyone help me? i have ibs and the pain is unbelievable. I got 10 20 mil abuse deterant pills but they constipate me because the pills are like cement. Is there anyway to get around having to take these. Can i extract the pain medicine without having to consume all these polymers.



These matters have been discussed at length in the *Other Drugs* forum, a search there might prove helpful, but a lot of those pills don't seem really to do the job, certainly not the old school OC's, the gelling up, etc. Some people have apparently devised some kitchen chemistry shit but IIRC it was rather elaborate and probably contained plenty of stuff I still wouldn't want to put in my veins.


----------



## Estimated Prophet

No where to cop in Denver anywhere... wtf happened


----------



## damphanduk

This thread seems to be dead. Is there any other active thread to discuss heroin in an informal manner? I have been reading the old threads (like from waay back in 2014) and would like to contribute, but can't seem to find any current threads. Thanks


----------



## tathra

This one would be the best for it, or maybe in Drug Culture. 

I think I'm probably going to have to use a week vacation from work so i can get myself clean.  Having to work this shit job is the main driver for my use anymore.


----------



## JahSEEuS

Damn.  Not much worse than spending a week of vacation laid up in WD.

It sure does beat a lifetime of active addiction though.  Gl


----------



## tathra

I don't really want to waste vaca time to sit at home, but worse is trying to work while in wd.  Gonna do what i have to in order to get clean tho.


----------



## Tubbs

I'll agree wd's at work suck. Wish you luck in getting clean tath.


----------



## tathra

Thanks guys, i appreciate the support


----------



## zephyr

^ Hope you  will be ok.


----------



## mtu mwendawazimu

Sourcing is not allowed on BL.

But if you're genuinely trying to cure your sickness, check this out for home remedies: https://www.healthline.com/health/ho...hdrawal#athome


----------

