# feel like im not good enough for college



## birthdaycake

ive been thinking alot lately about the fact that i need to find myself some kind of skill or education set to better serve myself in the long run of life. i have been thinking that college is probably the best way to go, as it offers the most broad range of possibilities and social settings.

the thing is, im quite apprehensive about going to college. im 24, i have no previous college courses to my credit other than one single class i took and passed about 4 years ago. i barely made it though high school. i know im a smart person and a fairly logical thinker. but when i feel challenged with something in a learning environment, i tend to shut down. i dont like being challenged, as i feel it is like i have to "prove myself" to somebody for their approval, and when i do succeed i feel....well, embarrassed. i dont feel good about those kinda things. i know others take great pleasure in challenges and succeeding in something difficult, but i dont.

i guess what it comes down to is that i dont feel that i am "good enough" for college. like the whole thing is a competition between everybody as to who is smarter and who has more friends, and id just rather not participate in that. i know im smart, but i just feel like im not good enough for it still. does that make sense?

i just totally lack the self confidence to sign up for college and actually go and learn and be humble to the things that i dont know and to be open to learn them even if they are difficult. i wish there was a way to just overcome this and to feel good about the fact that im going to college and sure im just starting out and there are a million people who are way ahead of me but hey at least im doing it and ill get there someday.

does anybody have any advice? can anybody relate to what im saying?


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## Khadijah

I would say you should try somethin that aint college and academic based, did you ever consider goin to a trade school like beauty school, culinary school, etc. Its still college, kinda, but you go to focus on one thing and get certified in that instead of that well rounded lil of this lil of that shit. then you could go and usually its a one or two year course and then youre done some even go in as less as 10 months. not 4 years of assorted crap. Maybe nursing or somethin.


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## DG

I have a lot to say! I have an appt shortly that I need to leave for so I will come back to this tonight or tomorrow for sure


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## birthdaycake

lacey k said:
			
		

> I would say you should try somethin that aint college and academic based, did you ever consider goin to a trade school like beauty school, culinary school, etc. Its still college, kinda, but you go to focus on one thing and get certified in that instead of that well rounded lil of this lil of that shit. then you could go and usually its a one or two year course and then youre done some even go in as less as 10 months. not 4 years of assorted crap. Maybe nursing or somethin.



yeah. ive thought alot about that kinda thing as well. im just not sure what i really want to DO though. like, i can think of a ton of programs to take that would be cool, but for each one there is a reason not to.

examples:

emt/paramedic training: too much of the "eww gross" factor
pharmacy tech: too boring
computer science: too competitive

those just some things i have thought of.


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## qwe

> the thing is, im quite apprehensive about going to college. im 24, i have no previous college courses to my credit other than one single class i took and passed about 4 years ago. i barely made it though high school. i know im a smart person and a fairly logical thinker. but when i feel challenged with something in a learning environment, i tend to shut down. i dont like being challenged, as i feel it is like i have to "prove myself" to somebody for their approval, and when i do succeed i feel....well, embarrassed. i dont feel good about those kinda things. i know others take great pleasure in challenges and succeeding in something difficult, but i dont.


i don't think of it as competition or challenge.  i think a good class is one where you are taught the essential knowledge base (eg terminology, the memorization stuff) and concepts to apply.  no competition between people, everyone is learning it together.  if it's tough it could be considered a 'challenge' but you could also just think of it as 'training'


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## Khadijah

Well you gotta do somethin. If you dont wanna go to college then dont, do somethin else with yourself. work at Mcdonalds. whatever. You aint gotta go to college. this is one of them things that no ones gonna help you but yourself. if you say you dont think you can do it then you aint gonna do it. no ones gonna be like, oh , you can do it. cuz we dont know you. but one thing i do know is if you do wanna go to school, and that is ur goal, but you dont know for sure what u wanna do there, you cant just say "Nah, dont wanna do that. Nah, not that. Nah, thats boring. Nah, thats dirty. Nah, thats too tiring. Nah, thats weird" and so on. you cant be fuckin goldilocks if you wanna get shit done. In ur serious posts u seem to have a very negative attitude and get discouraged pretty easy so if you want to do somethin in ur life you gotta get rid of that and just try somethin. if you wanna go to school that bad then who the fuck cares what else is involved you cant pick and choose this is life, no matter where you go its gonna be like that so if you really wanna do that then you gotta A, go to a more adult trade school or night school or B go to regular collge and deal wit the problems, it aint somethin that thousands of others dont also got problems with you aint the only one. So all i can suggest is try SOMETHING......if you dont like it try somethin else big deal, now you got one down, 40 million to go. if you like to draw, do that, if you like to make clothes, do fashion,  if you like to cook then do culinary, or whatever. why dont you find someone whose job seems fun to them and ask them how they got there and what kind of schoolin they did to get to that spot. or think of what you do like, if anything and study jobs that might be related to that or involve that. you gotta start somewhere., but you cant just sit around all day not liking stuff.


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## birthdaycake

lacey k said:
			
		

> Well you gotta do somethin. If you dont wanna go to college then dont, do somethin else with yourself. work at Mcdonalds. whatever. You aint gotta go to college. this is one of them things that no ones gonna help you but yourself. if you say you dont think you can do it then you aint gonna do it. no ones gonna be like, oh , you can do it. cuz we dont know you. but one thing i do know is if you do wanna go to school, and that is ur goal, but you dont know for sure what u wanna do there, you cant just say "Nah, dont wanna do that. Nah, not that. Nah, thats boring. Nah, thats dirty. Nah, thats too tiring. Nah, thats weird" and so on. you cant be fuckin goldilocks if you wanna get shit done. In ur serious posts u seem to have a very negative attitude and get discouraged pretty easy so if you want to do somethin in ur life you gotta get rid of that and just try somethin. if you wanna go to school that bad then who the fuck cares what else is involved you cant pick and choose this is life, no matter where you go its gonna be like that so if you really wanna do that then you gotta A, go to a more adult trade school or night school or B go to regular collge and deal wit the problems, it aint somethin that thousands of others dont also got problems with you aint the only one. So all i can suggest is try SOMETHING......if you dont like it try somethin else big deal, now you got one down, 40 million to go. if you like to draw, do that, if you like to make clothes, do fashion,  if you like to cook then do culinary, or whatever. why dont you find someone whose job seems fun to them and ask them how they got there and what kind of schoolin they did to get to that spot. or think of what you do like, if anything and study jobs that might be related to that or involve that. you gotta start somewhere., but you cant just sit around all day not liking stuff.



yeah, i hear what you are saying and i agree with it for the most part. true, no one can make me go to college and actually do it but myself. also true, you said if i think i cant do it then im probably not going to. that is very true. im trying to change lately to believe in myself more and to quit saying "i cant".

i do suffer from lack of self confidence, getting discouraged, and having a negative attitude, these are also somethings i am very seriously trying to turn around and change in my life. it is not easy though.

i have actually been thinking lately that i need to "challenge myself". meaning that ive noticed that i always seem to settle for what is easy to do, for things that are below what i am capable of. and with those kind of things, i get no results. i was thinking today that i should take a risk for once in my life, that i need to challenge myself to do something that i would otherwise have a reason not to, like i was saying in my last post. today i was trying to think of jobs that i would love to do, without thinking of the consequences of those jobs (ie: reasons not to or why it would suck). i think i need to take the risk of just going for it, whatever the fuck it may be that i want to do, and just going for it and doing it, regardless or how scary it might be or how hard it might be.

let me know what you think


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## Elgr

I think that's a good call. I've got a lot of the same problems, and school is working out really well for me right now.

Look at it this way:

In 20 years you might regret not having given school a serious try.
If you do give it a shot, and it sucks, makes you feel shitty, and quit... do you think you'll regret having wasted that tiny bit of time in 20 years? Or, do you think you'll be more satisfied of having explored your options and maybe dealt with some curiosity?


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## DG

You know...in high school I was terrible at math and science. So bad that I did the minimum in both and when I arrived at college I learned I had to do it anyways for the ideal degree paths I chose. It sucked. I got through it though, it took me a long time to do it and I passed with the minimum C required to move on through each level but I knew the light at the end of the tunnel would come, and it did.

In high school the learning environment is totally different than college. The level of reading, homework, tests to study for etc...it all sucks unless you are really enjoying the material. In my case, if I didnt like what we were learning I would avoid it. When I got to college it was so much better because I was taking courses I was truly interested in and it was more "fun" to learn about since it was able to be applied to my career path.

Noone is "not good enough" and you have to believe that in order to do anything. 

Sure when you start it might be hard at first, people might not talk to you and after awhile you will slowly get the hang of the classes, people, and the overall feel of the school. 

If you dont know what you want to do, maybe try taking certificate courses? Start off small and work your way up. 

Just because you didnt like high school or do well or whatever else, remember college is better. Dont make excuses...allow yourself to grow


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## zzx

I guess you are from the US right? :Z Im from an european country so I can't really say anything about the educational system there but I can strongly relate to the issue. I had some serious mental disorders due to my health problems at the most important time of my academic career and I performed very poorly at the final exams that would pretty much determine my academical future. Basicly that episode of my life dragged my self confidence below zero. I have been dealing with it and underperforming ever since. 

Seriously you should consider what would you think of yourself at the age of thirty or on your goddamn dying bed. I chickened out? I never found out the "truth" because of a sad joke called low self confidence and bad attitude? Did I do my best? At least thats what keeps me going. You probably have a long life ahead of you it would be ridiculous not to even try. There is a slight chance that you would end up wasting a year or two but hey what the fuck you still have many many years left and you wouldn't be second guessing yourself. 

This could be total bullshit but imo you just don't born with the attitude "I can't do shit". You should try to figure out the "root" of your problems and get insights of why exactly things are now as they are and take the necessary steps to resolve the issues from this. Nothing can or will change without this at least in my opinion. 

Just my 2 cents. I could write much more but its goddamn late so off to sleep. Had to throw a few bad bad words in between because I got a bit fueled up thinking about this subject haha.


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## laci.laplante

Its all about confidence! Once you get that, you are gold. After that, it is the support of your community relations. Aside, I can be you personal math and science tutor!
Cheers,
Laci


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## protovack

> i know others take great pleasure in challenges and succeeding in something difficult, but i dont.


This is not necessarily true.  I'm learning a new job right now and it is so challenging that I feel anxious about going to work.  I will rise to the challenge, but I don't necessarily "like" doing it.  It's really hard work and I feel like an idiot usually.  

Remember when people are faced with a challenge the easiest and most logical thing to do is quit, and that is in fact what most people do. When you decide to face the challenge, you immediately place yourself at the front of the pack. Simply "showing up" and doing your best is all there is to it.  



> emt/paramedic training: too much of the "eww gross" factor
> pharmacy tech: too boring
> computer science: too competitive


OK, it sounds like you are interested in medical/technical fields.  That is a good place to start, provided you can get over the "eww gross" factor.  It's really not that gross.  EMT/paramedic training can be a great starting off point for other careers, such as nursing.  You said pharmacy tech would be too boring, which I agree with.  Computer science is not more competetive than other fields...you do have to have the right mind for it though.


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## birthdaycake

protovack said:
			
		

> This is not necessarily true.  I'm learning a new job right now and it is so challenging that I feel anxious about going to work.  I will rise to the challenge, but I don't necessarily "like" doing it.  It's really hard work and I feel like an idiot usually.
> 
> Remember when people are faced with a challenge the easiest and most logical thing to do is quit, and that is in fact what most people do. When you decide to face the challenge, you immediately place yourself at the front of the pack. Simply "showing up" and doing your best is all there is to it.
> 
> 
> OK, it sounds like you are interested in medical/technical fields.  That is a good place to start, provided you can get over the "eww gross" factor.  It's really not that gross.  EMT/paramedic training can be a great starting off point for other careers, such as nursing.  You said pharmacy tech would be too boring, which I agree with.  Computer science is not more competetive than other fields...you do have to have the right mind for it though.



ill be honest sometimes i will get all psyched up to go to college or some technical school, but when it comes down to it, im too much of a fucking loser to actually follow through with it. i just cant do it. i cant compete with other people, i know i will lose out so what is the point anyways?

i know i know, i shouldnt be concerned with other people, that learning is not some competitive sport, but i find those both to be a total lie. the only people that say these things are not a competition are the ones who are really good at them and just want to make others feel bad for not succeeding like they did. 

fuck it. fuck college. fuck challenges. i fucking don't care anymore.


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## Khadijah

Aaaaaaaand thats the attitude that aint gonna get you nowhere. People get frustrated when they try to help and you just say no no no no no. Obviously you dont want the help and need to do it your own way but dont expect a kind word from people when you are just planning to shoot them down. at least thats how it looks. Good luck with gettin your life together hopefully you will eventually be able to try something before you dont like it.


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## protovack

> ill be honest sometimes i will get all psyched up to go to college or some technical school, but when it comes down to it, im too much of a fucking loser to actually follow through with it. i just cant do it. i cant compete with other people, i know i will lose out so what is the point anyways?


I think you PERCEIVE the game to be more competetive than it really is.  Or, you've intentionally convinced yourself that the world is SO competetive thus you shouldn't even play the game.  

If this is true, then stop now.  The world isn't all that competetive/scary.  If you set a goal and work towards it, there is very little that can stop you.  

This is the universal, age old problem faced by most humans - the fact that success will always begin with many failures.  Every millionaire entrepreneur has started 10-20 businesses that failed.  Most college students screw up their first year in college.  Many people screw up for much longer than that.  It takes a while to start caring.

You, like nearly everyone else, will eventually care enough to start setting goals.  In the meantime, you have to gather experience so you can start narrowing down your options.  Just take some classes and see what you like.  Ask anyone.  It IS WORTH a few thousand dollars and 1-2 years at a community college. 

I mean, you've got 2 threads open on this subject...you obviously want to do SOMETHING.  Stop talking about it and fill out the damn app


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## aoe2junkie

im the same with the lack of confidence but i still go to college. but, i sit in class and ask myself why am i here learning this bs. just do it even if it takes you more than 4 years to graduate, it is pretty common especially if youre in california....state universities are usually commuter colleges and im pretty sure the reported average amount of time for a student to get his/her degree is 6 years


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## fasteddie

dreamgirlie19 said:
			
		

> You know...in high school I was terrible at math and science.



Me too.

And for 25 years, I've done science for a living. I find that I have a unique 'liberal arts' perspective that's stood me in good stead. 

The elements are like...flavors to me. I have a feeling about what they will or will not do, all the factoids about them kind of merged into understanding.

People have all kinds of ways of learning and understanding. Because yours is different from a lot of peoples, perhaps you feel like you don't belong, OP. Don't let them chase you away.


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