# tobala



## TheLoveBandit

It has come to our attention, through the admin email account, that tobala has fatally overdosed. We have no specific information about the circumstances other than that it happened within the past several days.

Word came from tobala's father through an intermediary person. They requested that all information about tobala be removed from the site. We are honoring that request by removing any personal information of the person behind the screen name and ask for your help in keeping such reports off-site (any links to obits, his real name, where he lived, etc). We do, however, wish to keep this shrine thread for our site and members to remember the persona we knew and loved, you can comment in it here.


EDIT - as noted below, please refrain from using his legal name (even just his first name) on this site, out of respect for his family's wishes.  Thank you.


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## Bomboclat

Wow...utter shock...I just cant believe it.
Tobala was an amazing person, and although we never really got to speak to each other much, I saw just how much of a great person he was by what he posted here.

He was a witty, smart, caring, and just an all around great person, who will be sorely missed.

My love goes out to his friends and family, as well as everyone else who needs it in this time. 

Sad sad day


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## *Love*Lite*

This is so sad. Delsyd told me about it last night and we have been managing ever since. My heart is heavy and I cant stop crying but I feel like Im dealing alright.

I just want to share with you all the last time I remember being with him: He drove out on his motorcycle to our house in NJ and picked me up. We hoped onto the back of his bike and rode it for 45 minutes up to Bear Mt., all the way to the top. It was my first time on a motorcycle and I remember hugging him tightly the whole ride up the mountain. We got to the top and found a beautiful lake to hike out too and chill by. We talked for a while and then shared a beautiful experience over my DMT pipe. We both marvled at how the tryptamine played with the water and made it come alive. On the ride back down Bear Mt. we actually ran into a baby black bear which we watched until it ran off over the mountain top. We kept going, making our way back to NJ, on the ride back I had finally become comfortable on the motorcycle and I let go of him, extending my arms out to the side and felt like I was flying. I could tell that Tobala was worried but he let me experience that and then I resumed hugging him around his center for the remainder of the ride home.

When I think of Tobala, I think of how happy he was that day, how excited he was to go on that adventure with me. I cant help thinking that he and his son will not get to have any more adventures which makes me tear up. But now Tobala is resting, hes partaking on a journey now that all of us will eventually join him on. We should all try to remember him as the beautiful, happy, witty person that he was.

Tobala,  Im sorry I didnt get back to you sooner, this is my only regret, you were a good friend and me falling away from bluelight made me stop communicating with you and I am sorry.

My thoughts go out to his family and friends and anyone here that is grieving. If you are sad, try to honor your process, try not to mask it with benzos or opiates or other drugs. be nice to yourselves, life is precious. A gift, and we all still have ours. Lets not waste them. Make your moments count. My love goes out to you all.


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## Delsyd

i will miss you dearly friend.
I only wish we got to see each other more.


I Love You


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## Shambles

​


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## spork

Much love to tobala. You'll be missed very much


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## Roger&Me

I miss you, man. 

You were a great person.


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## PepperSocks

I got to meet tobala for an early morning breakfast on my way down to Florida this past winter.  He was a great guy and we had planned on meeting up lots in the future.

I still find it hard to believe he's actually gone, he left far too early.  I wish I had more time with him.

Rest in peace my friend.


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## Bob Loblaw

You will be missed friend.


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## indelibleface

I never met *tobala* in person, but I remember conversing with him several times over Bluelight. He never put on a face that made you think he was trying to be anything else than what he was: a total gentleman. Many people over webforums tend to fall into the trap of trying to one-up others or do the egomaniacal, intellectual high horse thing. Tobala always felt like a real, human being, even through the opaqueness of the internet.

I wish I met the guy. Rest in peace.


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## yoboy

> Beast Wishes, bro', get out of any war you may be in ASAP -- tobala





I never met him obviously, but he PM'ed me 2 weeks ago because I was fuckin up some thread and being stupid. He seemed like one hell of a nice guy. In our little bit of correspondence he made me feel like I was someone who mattered. Now I'm crying tears for a man that I do not know. 

To those lucky enough to call this man your friend: I am sorry for your loss.


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## AmorRoark

Definitely one of the best bluelighters of all time... and I don't say that without serious heart behind it. Tobala was always there for n00bs up to admins/engineers and everybody in between. 

He was the best of the best in terms of wit, smarts, cheer, caring, initiative, do I really need to go on? 

He made me feel very welcome both in the regular forums and amongst staff. I looked forward to the times when he'd lightly jab, tease, provoke, flirt or simply act interested in my life, ideas, beliefs & legal career. It's so sad to know his light will not make new memories for his friends, family, co-workers & random people who were lucky to walk in his life. 

Thanks tobala for everything you gave of yourself to us. You will be missed by so many. 

 My thoughts are with those who were closer with him than I both in real life & on bluelight.


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## purplefirefly

Words can't express what amazing person that bumblz is. I'm so sad that he left so soon. I had always intended to meet him but the cards were just never right, which I regret deeply. He was a good listener and a good friend. I miss him very much.

Rest easy my dear friend, we didn't meet in this world but I'm sure we will in the next.


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## jackie jones

He was a perfect influence, in my mind.

tobala


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## skoat

I always read his posts.  Thats so sad, man. RIP, you'll be missed.


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## Z Y G G Y

I agree with AmorRoark that he was one the best BLers of all time. Today, BL has lost one of its best and BLers all over the world are sad. This loss has an impact on most of us, pretty much anyone that had the luck of knowing Tobala in anyway. I am glad that he was also a BLer, its makes me proud to be part of this community because we have such great people. I am so so sad about this. Death of people I don't know rarely have any impact on me, but this is different. I am so extremely sad and upset that Tobala is not going to be with us anymore physically. In spirit, he will always be with us, we will always remember him.

OMG. I think the whole BL community is going to mourn this. He was such an integral part of BL. When I saw his name I was hoping at first it was a a joke but then no one would have made such a cruel joke.

I have been here since beginning of 08, this is my second user name and his posts were one of the best, most intelligent, warm, open minded ones. I always liked reading what he wrote. He never tried to be better than anyone, he just naturally was. It came naturally to him to get everyone to pretty much instantly like him. I don't know what it was about him but he has made a large mark on this site. I remember his struggles with addiction and his iboga therapy. His posts were always so open and intelligently written. I am so saddened bu this. I usually don't write in this forum but he deserves it hands down. He was just awesome, what else is there to say. Sometimes there are people who are simply pure awesomeness and Tobala was one of those people

He only always tried to be himself and what he was naturally was awesome. I don't know how else to put it, but he just had this special something that made you like him and respect him without him trying to do that. I love people like that.

I am sure this loss is horrible for his family as if he made such an impact here he must have been very loved in real life as well. 

I just want his family to know that during his life he has made an impact on the lives of many people. He made other people's live better just by giving his time here. He was a warm, great person. He will be extremely missed by all of us, even the ones that haven't known him as well as others. I haven't been here for long and I will miss him so I am sure the people that have known him better will seriously feel this loss.

Tobala, I know you are in a better place now. Rest in Peace. We will all remember you here. You will never be forgotten.


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## wibble

Such sad news, thoughts to his family and friends


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## Shambles

I've just removed a couple of instances where Tobala's real name was used. His family have asked to keep his real name out of it so would request that everyone respects this wish and uses only his username when posting. Thankyou.

Goodbye for now, Comrade


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## animal_cookie

rip


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## Pegasus

...


RIP man...


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## jackie jones

When I first joined BL, I remember reading his posts because of his alfred e. neuman avatar (I used to collect 1950's-1960's mad magazines). He was a senior moderator back then. I never really spoke with him because he was one of the cool kids, and I was a bit intimidated by him (a feeling of mine that never stopped, I am sorry to say). I admire the way he spoke of women. He was a true gentleman.


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## ~*geNeRaTiOn E*~

this breaks my heart 

tobala reached out to me on several occasions and i always enjoyed talking to him.  he was such a sweet, compassionate person with boundless wit and insight, he was definitely one of the most respected members of the site.  i still can't believe it...

RIP friend


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## Bardeaux

Rip


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## Kenickie

we had our FIRST exchange just a few days before this (it seems like) happened. He just randomly friend requested me and i was like hi whats going on and now he's dead. it really bothered me, i even cried about it and i don't even know him that well, but he was so sweet and seemed so awesome.



 tobala


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## Xorkoth

Tobala... you were a sweet, wonderful person who had nothing but kindness in your heart.  You will be missed by so many. 

RIP


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## Mysterier

rest in peace tobala. i didn't know you too well but your contribution to this site was more than evident to me.


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## Damien

Thanks for sharing that L*L*


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## qwe

he was an awesome poster


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## Mariposa

Tobala, 

Thank you for your wisdom, your counsel, and most of all your friendship over the years.  I can't believe it was just last week we had one of our phone marathons - it's all so hard to process.  

Thank you for your contribution to Bluelight as well.  Here, you showed the same dedication, wit, and ability to give and take jokes while approaching serious matters with a level of professional competency rarely seen anywhere.

I backed up your birthday text to me congratulating me on getting to 30, a day on which you made me feel particularly special and like age was just a number.  I knew you were a true friend well before that time, but you really made me feel special that day.  Your humor helped me not take myself so seriously - never once did you fail to make me laugh.

No matter what we were talking about or from where, you always understood.  You always kept your innate sense of tact, yet you told it like it is.  I remember calling you back from my favorite bookstore EVER when I was in a hilariously awkward situation and noticed you'd called.  I had to step outside to talk to you so I wouldn't disturb the other patrons with my laughter at the jokes we made.  You were the older brother I never had, man, and it hurts like anything to lose you for so many of us, not just me.

I'm sad that you won't get to visit the Great Western Frontier with me and that in this lifetime we won't get to go through the Cascades and Sierras as we might have otherwise.  For now, know that you got me through one of the roughest times of my life and I will be forever grateful for your confidence in me.  You're through to the other side now.  You are needed here and I will miss you, but maybe you're needed somewhere else more.  We understand that.  Maybe we don't totally get it, but on some level, we understand.

A mutual friend and I honored your memory through the lighting of a candle and swapping anecdotes about our conversations last night.  We were laughing with you; I know it.  I promise you and yours that you will be remembered.  

I'm privileged to have been your friend during your lifetime and hopefully beyond.  If you can watch over me and all of us, would you please?  Remind us of what is important.  Remind us that we need to take care of each other, not just "ourselves first" - you lived for others as much as, if not more than, yourself.  That is the quality I think I respected in you most.  I'll do my best to carry it forward.

Blessings to you, your family, and anyone whose life you ever touched, my elder brother.  Thank you for everything you did for all of us.  I will miss you so.


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## swilow

Oh, man, why? 

A lovely person has gone: I do recall some of his first statements on Bluelight, and being amused and entertained by the voice of a gentle and caring guy. He took a huge risk with ibogaine, and came out on top. Doing so, he left a huge incentive to others: 'You can change your life...'

This is so sad. So sad. 

Tobala, I hope you rest now with peace and calm. I know I'll see you basketballing your way through hyperspace, and then we'll discover the meaning of it all together. Godspeed and 11 blessings upon you. Thank-you for existing; thank you, Life, for letting atoms fall in such a way to make this guy; Life, reclaim the atoms, and start afresh. 

The soul of the gentle might now be released.  Eternity of love....


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## n3ophy7e

This is a huge and devastating loss to not only Bluelight but every part of the world and every person this great man touched in his life. He was such a beautiful soul and it just seems so unfair that he was taken before his time. I am absolutely heartbroken  

Thank you to everyone who is sharing their beautiful stories involving tobala. He never had a bad word to say about anybody, and he made everyone who he spoke to feel special. He will live on forever in our memories and in our hearts. 

R.I.P tobala  

His family and friends are in my thoughts, as is everyone on here who is hurting. Much love


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## Arnold

RIP man.


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## psood0nym

My interactions with tobala here and in other forums have been limited, but he's always been a constant presence.  It's only now that he's gone that I truly feel the respect I have for him.


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## *Love*Lite*

Damien said:


> Thanks for sharing that L*L*



 I planted some morning glory flowers outside under my cherry tree for Tobala today.  Touching the earth and thinking of him beginning a new journey today felt very cathartic.  Im quite shaken up by this, I imagine many of us are.


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## amanda_eats_pandas

We'll miss you Tobala.


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## MyDoorsAreOpen

I wish I'd gotten to know Tobala better. His presence and his cheerful attitude were always a potent reminder to me that one could be a drug user and a perfectly well-adjusted, even ambitious, member of society at the same time.

Hey, at least we'll know if there are any strange goings on around BL, banners mysteriously defaced or posts mysteriously edited, it must be a friendly visit from the only ghost with administrator privileges.

 *sniff*


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## Shambles

This really did make me smile a lot:



MyDoorsAreOpen said:


> Hey, at least we'll know if there are any strange goings on around BL, banners mysteriously defaced or posts mysteriously edited, it must be a friendly visit from the only ghost with administrator privileges.



BL's very own Ghost in the Machine. I suspect he will relish this new role


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## fizzle

^I hope so  that gave me a (tearful but happy) smile.

Mariposa and *L*L*, doing things to honor his memory sounds like a wonderful idea. I think I'll do something like that to honor his memory myself. Thank you ladies for the ideas 

Tobalski, I hope you are having fun on the other side


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## L2R

i really don't know how we'll retrieve the light you brought to us with your brilliant divine spark. bluelight will be forever a little darker with this, for me at least. i'll miss you, toby.


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## Kenickie

MyDoorsAreOpen said:


> I wish I'd gotten to know Tobala better. His presence and his cheerful attitude were always a potent reminder to me that one could be a drug user and a perfectly well-adjusted, even ambitious, member of society at the same time.
> 
> Hey, at least we'll know if there are any strange goings on around BL, banners mysteriously defaced or posts mysteriously edited, it must be a friendly visit from the only ghost with administrator privileges.
> 
> *sniff*



  i agree


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## jackie jones

^Absolutely.


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## nuke

Rest in peace.


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## ocean

Mariposa, what you had to say was beautiful 



Tobala was such a sweet, kindhearted and giving person. 
This is truly a terrible loss for all of us 
R.I.P. Tobala, you will be greatly missed.


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## Johnny1

I'll really miss you, tobala.  You have such a great spirit.


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## MynameisnotDeja

RIP to a great bluelighter.  I always enjoyed what you had to say.


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## MyDoorsAreOpen

I'll never forget the time I was having a horrible semester and bitching about it here, and tobala simply quoted my post and replied, "Relax, you're going to be a healer!" -- so simple, but exactly what I needed to hear to keep things in perspective. Just strange hearing it in my head coming out of Alfred E. Neumann's mouth.

Goodnight, sweet prince.

I don't feel bad saying that line, as cheesy and inappropriate as it is. Tobala would have thought it  funny. He'd want us to have a sense of humor about him being gone.


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## Fjones

Though I never met Tobala, he was one of my favorite Blers and his posts always made me smile.  He was insightful, smart, funny, and seemed like a genuinely nice guy.   I am saddened by this terrible news.  It is wonderful that he had such a positive impact on so many people.  Tobala, I would have loved to have met you so we could have a beer and philosophize about life.  Rest in peace.


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## atri

rip


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## B9

Never met the guy in person - I was impressed by his virtual persona tho - he'll be a big miss to the site RIP tobola.


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## Peace Farmer

r.i.p. tobala


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## beta1

wow being away from the computer for a bit and coming back to see this is a sad thing.. 

we didn't talk much, but whenever we did he was always cool to me and really helpful.. i will miss getting to read his posts every week, RIP


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## slortaone

very sad thread, cant believe i missed this

R.I.P tobala


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## burntserkits

It is truly a sad day on BL. It's always a miserable occasion when we lose one of our own. RIP Tobala. You will be missed by many...


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## kytnism

this is the first time ive visited bluelight in around a month or more; to check in on everyone; make sure shit was still progressing as usual; and the same people were kicking around doing their thing and staying cool/healthy and well.

it was almost like time stood still during the moment that i clicked home and scrolled down the main page to see "tobala " and mariposas words in the shrine (only after making my first contribution in ages; a wiseass, stupid quirk in the lounge about some fucking mustard).

im absolutely frozen and in shock. my first reaction (being only human; and an extremely close friend to tobala) was to repeat the word "no" inbetween tears.

im still crying; and in shock. ive lost a very good friend, the site has lost a promissing mentor/friend (he would embrace and love ANYONE); a little man has lost his father; and the world has sacrificed one of the "special ones".

for the first time in a long time; im lost for words. 

rest in peace beautiful soul


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## drug_mentor

RIP man, I never knew you too well but you came across a nice and good natured fella. Sorry to hear your gone bro!


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## phactor

Terrible Terrible News. My thoughts go out to his friends and family. He was always willing to help other people, which is really what this site is all about at the end.

Remember people, this shit is serious....


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## mav3rick

Woah, sad stuff 

RIP Tobala.. A warm and caring soul..


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## Sweet P

R.I.P Tobala


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## Noodle

Goodbye and safe journey.


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## SA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voWyczywtfs



Sail on and sail strong, Tobala!


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## Jabberwocky

rest in peace, tobs


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## drscience

My Condolences.


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## chinky

damn dude...


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## Samadhi

I was in complete shock when I was told of Tobala's passing - we got to know each other better while on bluelight staff; I loved reading about his son - i could imagine him grinning from ear to ear as he typed.  I'd never met him; but as with other bluelighters across the oceans, i considered him a friend.

While it breaks my heart to know that his son will continue to grow without his papa,  his son has one amazing guardian angel now.


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## ikkyu

Wow, I just found this and am shocked.

Tobala, I don't think we spoke much one-on-one but I always enjoyed reading your contributions here.  You had a sharp wit and you never seemed to lose your patience or compassion.  I'll miss you, friend.


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## n3ophy7e

I really miss you tobala. We all do. I hope you're in a good place my friend


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## drugfukkdrockstar

This place actually doesn't even feel the same without you man.... i miss you and still get upset when i think about it. It's amazing that someone i have never met could make such an impact on me. I just hope you're in a better place....may your spirit live on


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## AmorRoark

It's bittersweet to see your older posts.


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## Zzyzx

This is the proof that drugs are dangerous and accidents can happen to the best of us. 

Tobala will be missed.


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## UnSquare

All of my interactions with Capt'n Tobola
implied we were privy  
to some massive,
elaborate joke
involving vast powers of cosmic humour.

What an excellent man.

So sad.



Much, much 
LOVE
'n'
EMPATHY 
to his family & close friends.

PEACE
UnS


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## stimutant

R.i.P.


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## johanneschimpo

This is very sad to hear. Toby was a hell of a guy, and the best staff member I ever had the privilege of working under (or even near).

Now I kind of want to go through and read some of his old posts.  It may be bittersweet, but I know they'll make me chuckle. Toby did it for me better than most any other poster. And I only knew him through here. I'm sure he was (still is) a hell a guy to have known, as those that knew him continue to say.

edit: I'd like to re-emphasize what I said earlier - toby was the single greatest staff member in the history of BL. [period] 



*R.I.P.*

tobala​


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## Fawkes

it is deeply saddening to learn of such a loss. may tobala's friends and family find comfort in happy memories.


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## thujone

wow, this was really a surprise; a bad surprise.  i remember remarking one time, or more than once likely, since i remember it at least once, to get to know tobala more and now that opportunity is gone.  

i've always felt so personally disconnected from what happens online, as if it were a whole different reality, but tobala was one of those very exceptional few who had the power to remind me that he's real, genuinely real.

i don't yet know exactly how this has changed me, but i feel that it is seeding change for me right now and i know it will be for the better.  thanks tobala, find the peace you're deserving of


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## tambourine-man

I'm so, so sad you're gone, my friend.

You were fair, funny, intelligent and... well, you were just there.

A couple of people have described you as a gentleman.  Even more as somebody who they felt was genuine.  I reckon that's about right.

_What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal._

See you on the other side.


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## AndroidsDreamofBTC

RIP Tobala!


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## Jesusgreen

I'm new here so I didn't know him, but everyone we lose is always missed. Rest in peace Tobala.

My condolences go out to all his family and friends, stay strong.

(By the way, the link in the announcement has /vb/ twice and so it errors when you click it. Had to remove the second /vb/ to find this.)


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## Sustanon

I personally never talked to him but its always sad to loose a fellow BL-er to such an awful cause of death. May he rest in peace.


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## fengtau

This is such sad news.  You will be missed, Tobala!  He was an awesome BLer, indeed.


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## monstanoodle

I can't believe I've only just seen this 

No matter how many great people we lose from this site, it can never remove the feeling of it coming out of nowhere and the shock...

I give my condolences to his family and his friends here and outside 

Rest peacefully Tobala....


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## -Guido-

No.... He was awesome. He used to joke around with me a lot but he was always really nice.


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## GenericMind

What a damn shame. He was one of the good ones. 

RIP Brother.


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## cj

what a tragedy. we have lost to many bluelighters in the past year everyone be safe out there.

rip tobala


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## smotpoker

what did he take too much of?


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## Vader

^I think this thread is meant for mourning, not gossip. Tobala's posts were always insightful, and I enjoyed reading them. What a loss for BL. My heart goes out to those who loved him.


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## Snugg

Damn man, this sucks. I've never met or even talked to this person, but it still sucks.

Rest In Paradise. 

----------------
Now playing: P.O.S. - Stand Up (Let's Get Murdered)
via FoxyTunes


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## -Guido-

smotpoker said:


> what did he take too much of?



I imagine it was a downer (opiates, benzos, etc...) of some kind.


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## CbRoXiDe

Always a sad moment to come on BL to find it gone black .



RIP tobala.


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## Larr_E

What? Oh no!

I'm gonna miss you tobala. You were always a bluelighter of substance...


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## my innerself

It breaks my heart everytime I log on to bluelight and see black instead of blue. I never knew tobala but my heart goes out to his family and friends.


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## Desdenova

Holy shit, I was just reading a thread and his posts in it

RIP man


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## moonyham

Wow.. thats.. shocking. And terrible.

Was a cool dude, his posts were always worth reading. Sad to see him go, truly. 

*cant believe i didnt notice this till now? I dunno if im tripping or this happened 2 weeks ago, but im sure the site only went black yesterday?  *


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## Shambles

^ You may or may not be tripping but he did pass away some time ago - shortly before the first post here in his Shrine thread was posted - but it often takes a while to arrange Blacklight so there is usually a bit of a delay. Some mods wanted to mark the occasion by using variations on his avatar too which is why a number of us are sporting them at the moment.

 Comrade


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## PriestTheyCalledHim

Rest in peace Tobala.


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## Heuristic

He is, and will be, missed.  Absent friend,

RIP


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## lonewolf13

hope you're finally at peace


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## swilow

The elf-gods smiled on Tobala.... 

Now he's with them, smiling on us 

R.I.C Tobala....


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## Chaos23

I am always greatly saddened by this type of news.  Sending out love and hope to family and friends.


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## monstanoodle

Shambles said:


> Some mods wanted to mark the occasion by using variations on his avatar too which is why a number of us are sporting them at the moment.
> 
> Comrade



Yea I noticed this and thought it was a really lovely idea 



			
				crimsonjunk said:
			
		

> what a tragedy. we have lost to many bluelighters in the past year everyone be safe out there.
> 
> rip tobala


I thought this also actually when I saw this  We have lost many great 'Lighters this past year, it's extremely saddening...
So yes, please please please everyone - *Think before you act and make sure you live to see the next sunrise xx *


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## Prelude2TragedyII

You will be missed.
Rest in peace.


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## severely etarded

Fuck! I can't believe this!!  Fatal overdose? I thought he was a nurse? There's a good chance this was an intentional suicide assuming he was a nurse like he told me... RN's like he said he was know quite a bit about drugs and drug interactions, safe/lethal doses, etc. He seemed like a good guy. I never would have figured he had too much on his plate, but then again I guess you never know what people are going through with their real lives by talking to them on here.  

RIP tobala. I hope you have found a better place than this cruel world. Bluelight will miss you.


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## stebag

I didn't know him, but it is very very sad to hear about a loss like this, makes you take a step back and think twice about some decisions you make yourself.

Rest in peace dude, no doubt you will be sorely missed by many people.

x


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## BabyGurl3171

My thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family. RIP


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## Selfmeditaker

R.I.P tobala.. and may your soul, an _all_ the souls of the departed rest in peace...


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## rath

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wucChLZPiEU&feature=related For you man.


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## getreal

Also makes me sad when I log in and see black instead of blue.
RIP Tobala


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## Heroin Girl

You'll be missed, man.


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## TheLoveBandit

Yerg said:


> ^I think this thread is meant for mourning, not gossip.




^^This, please.  We would appreciate if the rest of you respected that intention.













Miss you, brother toby


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## DexterMeth

"Buy the ticket, take the ride".  Peace dude.

Feel worse for his kid


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## QuestionEverything




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## PsyGhost

respect


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## CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT

I echo Mariposa and n3o's eloquent posts.  This is such a tragic, and shocking loss.. but I guess we are rarely prepared for death.

I hope he knows just how much he is missed.


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## Link_S

R.i.p


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## Dragynfyr

bye dude, save me a good seat

r.i.p.


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## SmokeTrails

i have not been online for awhile... but once i saw bl black i figured something had happened... tobala will be missed..


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## AChemicalLife

RIP my friend.

Damnit.


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## Johnny blue

Rip


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## Jackal

Ah hell, one of the better ones. 

RIP tobala.


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## Lysis

wow, this is sad. I was wondering why everyone was using tobala's avatar. I saw the avatar in a post and was excited to read the response, because I thought it was his. He was one of my favorites.

RIP Tobala...you had some of the best posts and funny personalities on this forum.


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## jackie jones

Bluelight did not go black for long enough for someone as cool as tobala.


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## AmorRoark

Miss you T.


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## Ravr

Aww, man! RIP!!!!


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## stigup

RIP T.

seems he had a lot of people who cared about him..


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## Winding Vines

I was in such shock when I saw this thread, I was unable to post until now.

Tobala, you will be missed very much and remembered as a great friend of bluelight. 

My heart goes out to his family, because he was loved within this community - I couldnt imagine the impact and love he had with his dearest.


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## drugfukkdrockstar

Miss you 

I miss hearing from you. I regret not taking you up on that offer to play that prank. I was just so busy at the time with getting married.... dude im so sorry man i really regret it now. It would have been something awesome we could have shared. 

I feel regret over it. God dammit.  I know you wouldn't care and would totally understand... but i really wish i did that with you now. You have no idea how much in wish we followed through. It would have been hilarious... and memorable.  Fuck. Talk about bad timing... i know you understand though. That's what's awesome about you. Your heart.


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## Cosmic Charlie

R.I.P. my friend 

You will be missed by many


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## Jamshyd

A big loss for BL and everybody. He rests in peace. 

My condolences to his loved ones.


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## Care

Oh wow I cant believe I never heard about this......

He really was a great poster, one of those you never skip over when you're reading a thread. Very intelligent, humble and personable, not a common combination.

RIP


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## Mariposa

Tobala,

Not a day - still - goes by where I go to text someone with a similar name to you about something.  I realize I haven't deleted you from my phone, and won't until it too, goes its way, and I become emotional and sad at the fact that we can't have a telephone marathon - on this plane, anyways.

I continue to think of you.  I know you were watching over me a couple times recently when I got in over my head.  I knew it at the time - your kind voice telling me to stay away, to get it together, etc.  Your help in my preserving my own life when it could have gone very differently has not gone unnoticed.  I am still a stranger in a strange land.  I suppose you are, too.

I promise you that I will listen to you more fervently going forward.  Please watch over me, and watch over that little son of yours most of all.  Your laughter will be what I remember most.  I will remember the humor and jokes we shared forever.

Must have been a spectacular show last night, with the meteor shower.  I am sure you had the best seat in the house.  You certainly deserved it.

In a difficult and strange world, you were my touchstone.  You still are.

We all miss you.  



Mariposa


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## JuicyJay

Ok....

Today I called Tobala, to ask for information about recording studios and mastering. I met him when I went to a place he stayed at which was an incredible recording studio in NYC years ago. We've been talking and meeting up every now and then over the years. He had a wealth of knowledge, and I wanted to see if he could help me about the music industry....so I callled today......number didn't work.

I then figured I would send him a private message. I noticed the account wasn't active for a few months so that made me a little worried. I sent the message only to have it denied because the box was full. I searched tobala, and this thread came up 

Truly a heartbreak for me to find out like this. Horrible news, I am crushed...........

I wish I could have see you even just one more time  Your son will miss you. I will never forget the person you were and the friend you were to me. I hope you can rest well now  

Much love - Josh


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## Swerlz

OMG.. i just noticed this. I was in rehab when this happened. I'm literally sitting here in shock. He was just an awesome guy. I loved his posts. You will be truly missed around the world.

RIP


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## claire22

This is shattering, I only just saw this now. Wow. 

Tobala was a great guy, we had lots of great discussions via the board and PM. He sent me a message in November, I only saw it yesterday. 'You're one of the best folks on Bluelight and my world will be brighter when you're back here with us.'

I tried to reply but his box was full. Now I see this, I feel like crying. RIP Buddy.


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## trancedeviate

Oh shit man... I remember his posts, I always thought he was a cool dude.

RIP bro.


What did he OD on???


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## kokomo

i feel kinda guilt to post here this late such a tragic loss. rest in peace mate, wherever u go


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## Unbreakable

Blunt in his honor......RIP MAN man this was a sad thread..... because he was such a great guy


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## Kenickie

i was talking to RedLeader and was thinking how much I wish I got to know him more. Our one conversation was so warm. 

tobala, how i wish you were my admin


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## D's

rip man. u were awesome when u were here. i'll see u on the other side. luv ya buddy.


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## stellablue

R.I.P. this truely is sad news.


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## *Love*Lite*

I still think of you friend   Your spirit is missed here on this spinning earth.  The flowers I planted grew, flourished and died.  I think of you every time I see them.  You were too young.  I can still feel my arms wrapped around you riding up bear. mt.   Love to you!


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## anonymous_mouse

I was shocked to discover the news of Tobala's death. He was actually the person who connected me with Ibogaine (which, after two and a half years, I'm still too scared to experience). I talked with him over the phone when I was about to try the ibogaine earlier this year, and he was even understanding when I got cold feet and balked. I know that when we had talked, he mentioned that he would probably try it again soon, but he had some severe medical problems and I am wondering if he actually did try the Ibogaine and it killed him because of that. Now I am even more scared of it! 
A couple years ago I met him in person when I was visiting family. He bought me dinner and we had many good conversations that night. He drove me to the airport to fly back home. Such a wonderful man. There's a little hole in my heart now...


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## panic in paradise

oh man

i wasnt expecting to see this for some reason...

TBPH though
earlier, trying to sleep, i was actually soothing myself imaging him and his motorcycles tires streaming around mountain passes...
youre just part of my mind now, my homie.

and i kept all of your pms too, btw.


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## DamagedLemon

God saw you were getting tired and a recovery was just not meant to be, so God took your hand and said to you " It's time to come Home with Me"


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## DOB

wasnt he like really active on bluelight? what kind of avatar he had? I am not sure but I think Tobala is only one bluelighter I saw there posting alot that died,not that I dont care about otherts but this is different to me

RIP Tobala


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## kytnism

happy new year beautiful man. 

i was reviewing the photographs you sent me two new years ago only earlier today. tripping with a good friend, and cuddling the shit out of his dog all night in his cabin. so adorable. 

love you mate.

never forgotten; always missed.

...kytnism...


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## severely etarded

DOB said:


> wasnt he like really active on bluelight? what kind of avatar he had? I am not sure but I think Tobala is only one bluelighter I saw there posting alot that died,not that I dont care about otherts but this is different to me
> 
> RIP Tobala


tobala was an adminstrator here on BL

RIP tobala


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## chinky

sorry to say but i forgot you passed  homie

i came by to wish tally and melange a happy new year and saw this

since your upthere chillin, maybe you can fix the server for us cause its a pain in our asses down here


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## Roger&Me

still miss you, bro

still thinking about you


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## Bob Loblaw

I think about you from time to time. You were the first person I knew to die from drugs. Hell, you're why AmorRoark's Alfred E Neuman tribute is my avatar.


Goddammit   I hope you're doing well wherever you've gone. 









You are still missed.







DamagedLemon said:


> God saw you were getting tired and a recovery was just not meant to be, so God took your hand and said to you " It's time to come Home with Me"



This is beautiful .


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## Bob Loblaw

It's been just over four years. I first ODed from heroin a day or two later; you were on my mind as soon as I came to.

Congratulations on meeting Shulgin; be on the look-out for lonewolf; he'll be the one with the 211s.



There's no explanation for how I've come so close to meeting you, but my RSVP got last in the mail at the last minute. It could've been so many others, but it was you .


I know you're being the great person you've always been to me, wherever you are...


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## Mariposa

Tobala,

Dang it, your memorial thread needs a bump.  

Things in the world - specifically with regard to world events - have changed in terrible and weird ways.  I hope the afterlife is such that you haven't read the news lately.  It's just all fucked up.  Racism, xenophobia, religious extremism, our "trusted" authorities repeatedly botching important issues... I wouldn't even know how to put it in an update to you.  

I don't come around this blue place much anymore.  The emphasis has changed, dramatically, from harm reduction to personal drama and shitty attitudes.  That's part of the reason I burned out of working here.  Yet there are new, awesome friends, who are bringing this place back.  Your work carries on, K.  You are missed by all of us who have posted in this thread, and many more.  And some of us, you'd even be more than a bit proud of our works.  This blue place has a future.

Please accept this blessing I write on behalf of me and everyone who misses you.  There will be better days ahead, of this, I am certain.  I will stop rambling now.



M/J


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## kytnism

beautiful, posa. 

...kytnism...

ps. miss you _lots_ tobala. i could really use your wisdom today


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## Transcendence

This is a testament that intelligence or kindness or knowledge will not spare anyone from this disease. I never knew tobala personally but I've read his posts and I can see he was a pillar of this community and an incredibly smart individual. 

This is vicious and it takes the best people from this world.


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## zephyr

Visiting some passed on friends and tobala is someone i wish i knew better. As i cant visit his grave to pay my resoects this is the only way i can share grief.

Tobala and mariposa. Ill see you when my time comes so save me a seat at the table.


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## AmorRoark

Hi, I miss you.


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## SKL

Damn, being reminded of Tobala, and then reading Mariposa posting in this thread rather recently, that really got to me. So many we've lost.

And I can't believe I never posted in here myself, I didn't know him too well but we went out for dinner in the city a few times, talked on to him more, shared some pretty special psychedelic moments and mutual friends. Great guy, towards the end was going through some troubles. We'd been in touch less and less over the final year or so as I was a little more removed from that particular scene, but we got to speak on the phone occasionally. Can't believe it's been 5 years now. This new came at a time when I wasn't involved here, but I heard it and it hit me deep. Dearly hope that he has found peace.


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## zephyr

Rest in peace.

Running out of words, its the thought that counts right?


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## Xorkoth

Me and Alex were just talking last night about how you met he and Erin, tobala.  Erin always told me how much she enjoyed riding on the back of your motorcycle on the Parkway.  I never got to meet you but I wish I had, you were one of the greats on here.  Erin has passed on now too, and I hope you guys get to hang out in some sort of hyperdimensional manner.


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## TheLoveBandit

Been a long time, my friend.  I hope those you left behind have healed from losing you.  I still have that hole.


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## Xorkoth

Tobala... haven't thought of you in quite some time, but still sad we had to lose you.


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## fastandbulbous

Fuck, going through the shrine is shocking, seeing how many people I used to chat with are no longer here. Tobala was a great bloke, intelligent and really witty/funny. I'llnever forget his horror at British cuisine, when I told him about black pudding and tripe!
RIP, he is a massive loss


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