# gillywin is gone



## Killing_time

*GillyWin is gone.*

I just spoke to Red_Koi on the phone.
A friend of Gill's called him and told him she committed suicide.
I'm not sure when, all I know is that she is going to be missed.
I'm sorry to keep this short, I don't really know the details, I just thought people might like to know.
I'm kind of in shock now, why she did it I don't know.
If anyone has any details.
Otherwise... I dunno.
Everyone just keep safe.
PEACE


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## Donny Don't

WTF?!?!!?

please tell me this is not so??


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## anna!

Oh my God


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## Macksta

That's absolutely terrible news.


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## kazza_baby

please tell me you're wrong


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## Cookiequeen

not that I can imagine anyone making this up as it is a horrible thing to do but I also hope this news is totally wrong. 

I just want to update what I have said by saying I too only knew her from her posts on BL....she always seemed to have great thread topics and a way with words....
I will miss seeing her around BL Aus Social..... 

my deepest condolences for anyone who knew her well and to her family.


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## swe_E_tie

My dear sweet Gilly...I hope you are at peace now.  We all love you and will miss you so very much. 

I send my deepest condolances to Gilly's family and friends.....


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## Rubber_Duck

*Rip Gillywin*

This was a huge shock!

The Perth Bluelight community are very sad at this very point,

Still hasnt sunk in, took me 15 minutes to even realise who Red-Koi was talking about, 

My deepest condolences to the family and friends of Gillywin.

*have to type something later*


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## Liinuss

a black day for BL, this girl was the one of the most cheerful, upbeat, kindhearted girls i have come into contact with. Everone adored her, i just don't understand how someone with so many friends could not reach out to one of us for help. I guess sometimes its just too hard.

Goodbye Gilly, Perth is a colder sadder place for your passing.


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## zephyr

To Gilly,

it was an honor to have spent time with you.  You were an amazing girl- so warm and friendly and welcoming.  I wish I knew that you were so sad.  The shock has not sunk in, I am numb.  This doesnt seem real.

My thoughts are with your family and friends now and you will always have a place in my heart.  You will be mourned by Bluelight and all that have been lucky enough to have been in your life.

much love 
from Liz

xx


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## Munchee

You're fucking kidding me?  This is so sad.  I cant really beleive it's true.  She's such a beautiful fun person, I've always loved chatting to her on MSN.


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## anarky

Condolences...


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## NickyJ

She was one of my very best internet friends  I can't fucking believe it.


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## BloSs0m

This is such sad news. 
I unfortunatley didn't know her any better than the words she chose to post in here. 

All the best to everyone who loves her. 
You are all in my thoughts.


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## astro^boi

*R.I.P GillyWin*

Seriously shocked just like everyone else is...really can't begin to understand the reasons for her doing this. Last time I saw her she was happy as always. With that great big smile she has. You will be sorely missed Gill!! 

Shouts to all the BL'ers who came in contact with her...im sure she touch each and one of us in a different way...coz i know I'll always remember her by the Cowboy boots she use to wear...they rocked!! 

*Deepeset condolences to her family and friends*


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## toenibbler

the few times i had met Gilly ill remember. she was such a warm and friendly person, im... im just so shocked.

My condolences to all her friends and family


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## Donny Don't

Her most recent posts don't suggest anything dark and underlying either. I'm rather shocked and confused at this point in time.


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## NickyJ

She was an excellent writer. I bumped a few of her poems here


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## Donny Don't

_Monotonous Life_

Yes well, i guess that sums up what we all feel from time to time.

You're right though, she had a way with words.


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## cuddlefish

I've been around long enough to see too many people already leave us like this.  I didn't know her directly, only from her contribution to bluelight but of all the people I never considered such an end to be a possibility for her.

I'll miss hearing from her.

cuddlefish


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## hhc_king

this news has shocked and baffled me..as i have only known here from what she has posted and the chats we sometimes has..it always hits home hard when it someone from a tightly knit community such as ours
you will be greatly missed and morned apon as you seemed to be one of the great shinning lights of bluelight

my condolences to family and friends of  GillyWin
R.I.P GillyWin


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## ozbreaker

Oh no no no. not gilly. 

Only today i was on the verge of getting another snow dome to send over to her. 

This is so sad. she was so funny, smart and caring... 

I still cant believe it.

Rest In Peace Gilly and condolences to everyone whos life she touched. 

I never actually met her but we spent hours chatting on the net. So shocked. A very sad day indeed. I only hope she's in a better place now.


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## astro^boi

Dug this up from the gallery....





Sucha beautiful person...inside and out


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## hhc_king

^ thats picture makes me wanna cry


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## CuPillar

i chatted to her on msn all teh time... she always seemed so upbeat and happy, sometimes stresse3d, but we all get that... she is such a beautiful and amazing girl...

you will be missed....


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## Shnouzerpuff

Got the call from Red Koi as well.

A job he has undertaken tha leaves me with the greatest respect for the man. That is not easy to do at all.

My last conversation was with her on Wednesday...



> [00:12] SuperGilly: i've been in 3rd year for 2 yrs
> [00:13] SuperGilly: and i think its going to last even longer at this rate!!
> [00:13] cheshire: i sympathize. Cleverly changing one of my majors I think I will be in 2.5 year next year... not out of year 2 but not fully into year 3.   Its a hassle but hey - beats working full time
> [00:14] SuperGilly: hehehe, student life! How long have you lived a student life?
> [00:14] SuperGilly: 5th year for myseld
> [00:15] cheshire: oh ages now...    2nd year of uni and I have already done 2 years of TAFE...  then there was the one year break in between high school/tafe and tafe/uni  which was like working casual and chilling all year....
> [00:15] cheshire: i really have to get my arse into gear
> [00:16] SuperGilly: I really seriously wonder (this is about myself, dont take it as an insult) how i could ever finally deal with real fulltime work
> [00:16] cheshire: oh it takes plenty to insult me and do not worry, I have thought the same thing
> [00:16] SuperGilly: i've done my fair share of weeks at semi full time hours
> [00:16] cheshire: something in you has to die. plain and simple.
> [00:17] SuperGilly: and whinged
> [00:17] cheshire: everyone who does fulltime has that thousand yard stare in the eyes
> [00:17] SuperGilly: the monotone life
> [00:17] SuperGilly: i dont want it just yet
> [00:17] cheshire: neither...it seems almost like a prison sentence of sorts
> [00:18] SuperGilly: i like waking up at different times, and doing different things
> [00:18] cheshire: yeah. the knowledge that if you save money for a month you can take off to another place for a fortnight with no repercussions
> [00:18] SuperGilly: 2-3 years, we will both be corporate whores .. with routine
> [00:19] SuperGilly: i dont want to think 2-3 puts me in the 23-25 age bracket
> [00:19] SuperGilly: 25!!






> [00:26] SuperGilly: I only ever loved writing when it was something that interested me, and then kicking ass and getting good marks was really worth it
> [00:27] SuperGilly: (which makes me miss writing .. since i've signed myself off to the evil hybrid maths/law contingent of life)
> [00:27] cheshire: yeah you chose a different path at that fork in the road
> [00:27] SuperGilly: its for the best
> [00:27] SuperGilly: haha
> [00:28] SuperGilly: I have to say though, completely irrelevant to anything at all. But if you get the chance go see The Machinist
> [00:28] SuperGilly: i've been trying to get the message out on how good this movie is
> [00:29] cheshire: aaah the Christian Bale looking skinny one ?
> [00:29] SuperGilly: yes thats the one
> [00:29] SuperGilly: extremely skinny
> [00:30] SuperGilly: its a very interesting movie though
> [00:31] SuperGilly: bedtime for me
> [00:31] cheshire: yeah me too soon. Gnite GW
> [00:31] SuperGilly: night, goodluck with the exam on friday
> [00:32] *** "SuperGilly" signed off at Wed Jun 15 00:32:00 2005.
> [00:32] *** One or more messages may have been undeliverable.  Try closing and reopening this window.
> [00:32] cheshire: cheers!
> Session Close (SuperGilly): Wed Jun 15 00:32:02 2005



She was there with PM's when I was feeling depressed and used to come up to me and chat at events.
She was the first ever bluelighter to introduce herself to me.

How can she be talking about the future then in less than 70 hours be taking her life?


Poor Gilly. I hope whatever questions you had have been answered.

I hope you have found peace.


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## preacha

from what we talked about, she was going through some rough patches in her life, and it felt like she was getting more distant from her family and friends the more i talked to her on msn. 

she was a cool person though, with great taste in music. i respect her decision though; while it is a regrettable one she wasn't the type of person to do things on a whim.

msn just got more boring. stay cool gilly


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## lostNfound

I only ever had one real life friend commit suicide.
It came as a shock to me more than ever as I thought i knew him so well. We hung out at parties. Got drunk got stoned pulled chicks together and just fucked around. He didn't give a hint that he was going to hang himself.
No one ever learnt why.
I think thats thew hardest part.
Just not knowing why!

My heart goes out to Gilly and her family. The times I chatted to her on MSN she seemed to be the nicest, sweetest, most fun loving and caring person.

May her soul rest in peace.

I havent prayed in a long long time.
But Gilly, tonight you will be in my prayers.
much love.


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## Merk

ohh that sucks... 
my condolences go out


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## Grep

Wow!! 

R.I.P


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## Killing_time

I wish our little beautiful blue-eyed Gill all my love.
She will be missed, especially when next we Bluelighters test out blood alcohol levels [who knew such a small girl could consume so much and still walk? I still have thave the photo].
Let us reflect on this and think of all the fond memories.
She would have wanted it that way.
No one likes a downer.
We shall have to make a little tribute to her at the next meet-up.
If we're all at Teebee we can hug for her.
Until then let us take this moment and realise that things are never what they seem, as such tell your friends and family you love them everyday.. you never what they could be going through.
Thank you for bein' such a party girl, you're love and friendship was truely appreciated.
'Til next we meet, where ever it may be...
PEACE


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## Killing_time

The 2004 Sci-Fi meet-up, good times.
She was stylin' as always... even if she didn't wear the Official t-shirt.




PEACE


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## muzby

babe..

the news has shattered me...

i know you will never read this...

but... i hope you understand... you will be missed..

i don't know why.. and i guess i'll never understand...

you were a wonderful person... one of the only people i have been able to click with within the first minute of meeting...

your smile was able to light up a room...

you could always make me laugh, even at the strangest of times..

you've touched a lot of people, and you may not have realised it, but we were all there for you, no matter what the problem...

i know i wasn't there, so i can't know what you were feeling, but please know, wherever you are now, that nothing is ever worth taking your life for...

pain is temporary... bonds are forever...

you may be gone, but never forgotten...

i've still got your message... telling me you were coming to see me in a few weeks... i'll keep it always... and i'll keep waiting... even though you will never come...  







fuck life sucks sometimes.................................................


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## PLUR SENSUAL

The times I met u I thought u were the most kewlest chick...u soooo rockd this world of ours.

RIP GillyWin


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## onetwothreefour

oh my god.

i have no words. that's devastating.



fuck.


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## onetwothreefour

i never got to meet her


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## choppedmess

this is such shocking news.


i just dont know what to say but i hope she has gone to a better place.


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## onetwothreefour

she'd always told me she understood how i felt about wanting to kill myself when i'd been down, but i never realised quite how much she thought about it. i feel terrible. this is fucked up. i should stop posting.


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## Killing_time

I know that I can take pride in the fact that I, like many, thought that she was a guy before I met her.
She was truely greatful for this.
It was for this and many reasons she was such a wonderful girl.
I'm just trying to find amusements in the anarchy of it all.
Why anyone, especially such a wonderful, talented girl like Gill would do anything like this is beyond me.
Let us hope that where ever she is that the happiness she could not find here she has found in the beyond.
YOU WILL BE FOREVER MISSED.
PEACE


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## Donny Don't

although having never met her i will cry myself to sleep tonight....i am just so devistated.....to have this affect on people she's never met, is a true test to her chararacter


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## Oceanboy

I was going to go out


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## Its Chaos

Rest In Peace


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## kazza_baby

I just came home.
Was out with the girls, but couldn't enjoy myself.
This has hit me really hard, even though i wasn't all that close to her.

x-posted in my livejournal:

I am filled with a *profound* sense of melancholy,
after learning about the passing of a member of the bluelight community.
Although i didn't know you all that well Gilly
(only through our sporadic msn conversations, and your posts),
it became clear to me that you posessed such an *altruistic spirit*.
Your smile was *radiant*, and your manner *spirited*.
You will be sorely missed by everyone you touched.
Rest In Peace.


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## lok1

Im shattered to hear this! i cant beleive it!
Gill was the first person i talked to & meet off bl, and im shocked to hear this saddening news :'(

Gill used to tell me about not getting on with her parents and money troubles... but she was always happy when i meet her and i didnt think she would have chosen that way out.
She obviously felt it was for the best and i offer my deepest condolences for her family and friends, for they have lost a beautiful human being. 

I hope she has found her peace 

anton.


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## eze451

although i never knew her its clear that she will be greatly missed.... my heart goes out to her family, friends, and anyone else affected by this terrible news.... i sincerely hope she is free of the burdens that this life gave to her

R.I.P.


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## lok1

Mick (red koi) would like us to say a few words on his behalf. 

from mick:

Gill, you were fantastic, bright and beautiful young woman. I loved you to death, and i cant believe your no longer with us. I hope and pray that you have found peace and happyness, where ever you are now. You have no idea how much you will be missed, and how much We all loved you. I give my condolences to your family and friends.


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## Pounding_Grooves

i didnt even know gillywin, but i came to this part of the board to post about cricket, and i saw this therad, it just seemed like a few dasy ago she was posting in film and tv about " the machinist"   , really puts stuff into perspective


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## Rubber_Duck

I cant sleep, 

It has now sunk in, fuck!

It was only a couple weeks ago, where i was having a coffee at 6 am  with gilly from a 2 night bender whilst planning to go swimming with dolphins for a random days activity.

I think the most id miss about her, is the fact that every time we spoke at parties, clubs, or the net, she always would look at two sides of the storey and was never quick to judge.

Huge Respect for my man, Red_Koi, to deliver the news to her close bluelight friends.

She loved her DnB nights, I think a get together at the Rosemount or sherlocks should be organized.

I will miss you dearly Gilly


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## Liinuss

i wish she could have come to us, there is nothing any of us wouldn't have done for her. Nothing is ever so bad that you have to do this. Please everyone this is not an answer, there is always more than this. Please talk to the people you love if you have problems that seem to much to bear. 

Its not fair that we lose someone as wonderful as her.


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## BA

I never knew her or talked with her, but I am very sorry to hear of this.

Best wishes to her family and friends.


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## MooShiE

RIP Gilly.... 
The news has shattered all people around me... It sounds so odd that you took this path apon hearing what type of peron u are. I hope ur at peace now..

xo


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## turtles21400

I only talked to her a couple times on MSN but those few times made me realize, just as everyone else here has been blessed to know, what a wonderful soul Gilly had... 
I hope wherever she is now that she's found her everlasting peace and calm.  She will be missed and forever loved...
-*~To my Darling Gilly~*-  Until next we meet you'll be in my heart...


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## NickyJ

What a fucking terrible nights sleep. I can't get this out of my mind.

I had plans to meet her in 6 months. Now I never will.

I'll never forget you Gilly.


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## Virtua_Trancer

i didn't know much about Gilly, 
but since i joined bluelight i noticed her right away because of her eyes. 

Rest In Peace


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## endlesseulogy

This is bad news   My condolences go out to anyone that knew her. Someone said above that her recent posts have had no indication of any suicidal intention, however id like to add that i dont find this surprising as most people who indend on killing themselves usually do it without dropping hints. They unfortunatly tend to slip away quietly.


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## pinkness

I only ever met Gilly a couple of times at events, but she seemed like such a bright and happy person.  I just can't believe that she is gone.

I can't imagine how your close friends and family must be feeling right now.  I never got the chance to know you, yet I find myself holding back tears.

My thoughts go out to everyone who had the chance to love you during your short life.

Rest in peace.


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## TiTTy

This is terrible news. Its has just left me stunned not really sure how to feel.
My thoughts go out to her family and freinds during this sad time. 
Rest in peace Gill.


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## spork

I didn't know her very well, but by what little interaction I did have with her I could definitely tell that she was a super sweet girl. She'll be missed.


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## Raving Loony

It's just so sad.  How does it come to this! 

RIP GillyWin.


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## Backo

RIP


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## zephyr

The shock is sinking in and giving way to tears....


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## raverchik

OMG


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## zag0r

always difficult to understand


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## strumpet

I never knew GillyWin, but I feel very sad ... I feel sad for all of you out there who will obviously miss her so much.

It is incredible that someone we perceive as so happy and as such a bright spot in our lives can be so troubled on the inside.

Let's all remember to take care of each other.


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## lostpunk5545

I've only known Gillywin through her posts but I will miss them.

I offer my condolences (as if words are ever enough) to all those that knew her and were affected by her presence on this planet.


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## astro^boi

I was so looking forward to catching up with Gilly after exams. I know she just finished hers as well and she wanted to go to Sherlocks for some dnb...i said i couldn't make it because I had to study. Now i wish if i knew, i could have seen her again...spent more time with her. Maybe even talk about what was troubling her so much...
Over the past 5-6 months the perth BL'ers and myself have gotten to know her fairly well. Met her younger brother and sister on occasions. My heart really goes out to them. All we ever did when we met was have FUN & especially had good times and i'll cherish those memories forever. 
From hardly ever seeing her to catching up frequently, everytime we departed it would be with a hug. I gonna miss those hugs so badly!


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## KemicalBurn

onetwothreefour said:
			
		

> *i never got to meet her  *



She told me she was thinking of coming over. she made me promise we'd all throw her a big do when she got here...

very sad and shocked right now 






~james.


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## astro^boi

Theres another thread on teknoscape for those who are familiar...she didnt just touch Bluelighters....

http://www.teknoscape.com.au/forums/showthread.php?t=20463


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## kryalkastleE

she was so gorgeous in every way 

im sad i never got to meet her.
RIP.


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## Samadhi

god no  

She was always someone i looked out for, because i knew her posts were always interesting.  She was beautiful inside and out, this is absolutely tragic.

To anyone reading who was close to her, please know that Mr Samadhi and I will be thinking of you.


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## NickyJ

I just learned the details


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## nvs

her sister called me yesterday...
she committed suicide on fri nite..
she hung herself...
      
its not something i wanna talk about AT ALL...
but so many ppl wanna know..

she will be greatly missed, if only she knew!
i just hope her pain has gone,
"I LOVE U GILLY, MISS YA LASS!"
=~~~~~~ (
may our thorts and prays be with her family!


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## Munchee

Hmm I wish we had spent more time chatting, I wish I had brought those scratchies so I could visit.  There will be no chance for maltesers and ice cream now.  I'll miss those rambling conversations about nothing and I'll miss you Gilly.

Rest In Peace.


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## Pleonastic

Woah, this is one of those WTF moments if ever I've seen one. I opened this thread because I thought it'd be about someone quiting bluelight or something, and then I just sort of stared at the first post totally gob-smacked. I never communicated with her at all, but just from her posts she seemed really happy and friendly. I guess everyone's got their personal demons, no matter how brave a face they have. Such a shock!

Condolences to all her friends and family.


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## Shnouzerpuff

Dammit Gilly.

Why did you have to go and do a stupid thing like that.

Even though it is better to know the situation than to be left wondering, now I am stuck thinking of what I was doing Friday night - when someone I knew was seeing their very last sunset.
....
...


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## ValeTudo




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## nvs

thank u guys!
im sure she would have been suprised by all the ppl she has touched...
if only she knew...

she would have been happy to know she was so loved!


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## sydkiwi

Woah 

Sorry to hear we have lost another beautiful bler to suicide


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## Mary Poppins

*In Memoriam*

To the other Gilly,

from the first time I heard that you thought I was stealing your identity as the new "Jilly" I thought you sounded like a cool girl...and I was proven right.

I loved having drunken chats with you on MSN, and I remember when we first decided to make our bluelight exercise journals, sure the exercise never happened, but I'm so glad I got to learn more about you through your journals, posts and MSN conversations.

You are someone that I knew I'd only scratched the surface with, and that will make me remember all our contact even more fondly.

Never has this emoticon  seemed to not say enough...

RIP Gilly,

Love always,

Jilly

xxxooo


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## Killing_time

So I've just started crying for no reason, sitting at my computer.

Are we fellow Perth BLer's going to get together for a beer or something in commemoration of the wonderful person our Gilly was?
I think it's necessary.
I don't really have any other people to talk to about her other than the Perth crew, none of my friends knew her.
This is all too sad.
Why she felt the need to do such a drastic thing is beyond me.
You will always be missed Gilly.
I hope all is well now.
LOVE K_T

Sorry, just thought I'd add a little something from one of her favourite bands that seems appropriate now:
_I Miss You_
I know I'll see you again,
Whether far or soon,
But I need you to know,
That I care,
And I miss you.

PEACE


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## Duckboy

Condolences to all of Gilly's friends and family.

One of the nicest girls one could ever hope to meet.


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## friskk

to all her friends and family.... my deepest and warmest condolences. 

To Gilly, I never spoke to you or knew you... however from the reaction of the Bluelight populace, you have touched m any people. You will be cherished and remembered.

F


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## papermate

I'm absolutely devestated. I really do not know what to say. I sincerely feel for the Perth bl community. I know most of the sydney crew and although not terrible close i cant imagine who much more terrible i would feel should we lose one of them.

My deepest condolences to the Perth crew. I had a chatted with  Gilly win over the PM board and as most have suggested she seemed to be bright and cheerful. I think she was absoultely georgous and devestated. I suppose its those you least expect.

I cant help but feel sad. I at times have felt the desperation/depression and empathise more than i can explain. Its absoultely tragic I hope the same never happens to anyone else, me included.

Rest in peace.

ben.


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## RussellG

I chatted to Gilly a few times... She sent me the nicest pm once, telling me to continue to write after she read one of my stories in Words. That one message gave me such confidence... as ridiculous as it sounds...

Bless you Gilly


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## *IRISH*

To Gilly,
You'll forever be in our hearts and thoughts.We will love and miss you forever


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## onetwothreefour

_Originally posted by KemicalBurn _
*She told me she was thinking of coming over. she made me promise we'd all throw her a big do when she got here...*

i know 

we had movies to see. movies!


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## KemicalBurn

I cant believe i stupidly fucking deleted the PM she sent me about the dream she had of me. I can be so thoughtless at times...

all because i didnt fucking archive it properly.

/kicks self


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## onetwothreefour

there's lots of that going on. the last thing i said to her (on thursday night) was 'haha you live in perth' 

way to go me.


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## nezo

^^ hardly something to beat your self on for.

RIP.  Commiserations to friends and family.


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## sonicnature

oh god.. i cant believe this.

i had so many beautiful conversations with Gilly on MSN.. this is an absolute tragedy. 

we'll miss you so much Gilly... 

Love, B


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## maniia

i only just found out - what the hell??

rip in peace beautiful girl


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## BREAKaBEAT

I never ever had any contact with Gilly. I was always a bit intimidated by her smarts and her pretty pretty face.

I feel so terribly sad for her family and friends. And to the person that found her. It just goes to show, after some discussion with my bf, that you should never ever take friends or family for granted. We all do it, but this is certanly a wake up call as to why we shouldnt.

RIP sweetheart.


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## rushraver

I don't know what to say either...have been up all night driving around and thinking and still my mind is blank  even more sad is that i txt her late Friday night to come out, i wish i had rung her now  I had so much respect for her and she always had a smile for us...I know i will never forget you Gilly xxx       Rest in peace.....


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## jonnywin

*gillian*

i am gillians brother and my family and myslef would like to thank everyone for their support during this terrible time.This is my first time on this site and it so amazing to see the amount of ppl who cared for her so much so was such a beautiful person and she has cleary touched alot of ppl including ourselves. for those who wish, we are not sure for definate but the funeral will probably be on friday we will let u know more when we know . jonathan


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## sonicnature

much love and respect to the family jonny.


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## 1UnFuZeD

I never had the opportunity to talk with her at any of the perth events or the like, but from what i've seen here and in her posts she seemed like an easygoing and well liked person, my thoughts go out to everyone that was ever in contact with her......

Hope she is in peace now...

R.I.P Gilly


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## Strawberry_lovemuffin

endlesseulogy said:
			
		

> *This is bad news   My condolences go out to anyone that knew her. Someone said above that her recent posts have had no indication of any suicidal intention, however id like to add that i dont find this surprising as most people who indend on killing themselves usually do it without dropping hints. They unfortunatly tend to slip away quietly.
> 
> *



This is true... this is my experience (first hand) also.

So please, I beg of you... all her friends... do not blame yourselves.  People who are serious about leaving to escape their pain rarely post warning flags when they're about to do it.  They don't do that because they don't want to worry you, they just want to slip away and be invisible and in that state of mind I truly believe that *they* believe they're doing the only thing they can do.  And I'm sure, she loved you all too; so much.  I can almost say that with utter certainty, even though I don't know her at all.

Rest well, Gilly.  I always thought you were one of the most beautiful girls I'd ever seen in a photo, from reading the last 4 pages of posts I know you touched many hearts, and your life will not be forgotten.


----------



## zephyr

*Re: gillian*



			
				jonnywin said:
			
		

> *i am gillians brother and my family and myslef would like to thank everyone for their support during this terrible time.This is my first time on this site and it so amazing to see the amount of ppl who cared for her so much so was such a beautiful person and she has cleary touched alot of ppl including ourselves. for those who wish, we are not sure for definate but the funeral will probably be on friday we will let u know more when we know . jonathan *



we are so sorry for your loss and there are many who will want to pay their respects at the funeral.


----------



## onetwothreefour

just a tentative suggestion: perhaps a couple of drinks (and i truly mean that in the respectful sense) for gilly at next week's melbourne meet-up in lieu of actually being able to go to perth (obviously) for the funeral.

anyway, i'll be there (it's at e55).

it's in the events forum. i might cross-post this.

to gilly's brother: thanks for posting. so sorry for your loss. it's just tragic


----------



## ^Pipit^

This is a real tragedy. I didn't know Gilly at all but really liked her posts. Tis an enormous loss to all those who had encountered her. Condolences to her family, friends and the Perth crew. Losing a member of your family or community in such awful circumstances is just devestating.
Clearly her death came as a shock as most suicides do. To those close to Gilly - people who are suicidal tend to hide it extremely well. Don't think that you should have recognised a problem, don't think there was something you could have done. 
Just be assured that your troubled girl is at peace now.


----------



## Chaos Butterfly




----------



## LordMonkey

I am just gutted.... even though I didn't know her well she just had that little "something" that made her stand out above everyone else.

Fly well GillyWin.... May the heavens never hold you back.

With a heavy heart, Jason


----------



## dancefifi

when i first saw this, i refused to believe... another soul gone from dis earth... such a lovely person she was... hope dat she has finally found inner peace where-ever she shall be.


----------



## Xtine22

RIP GillyWin.
I've only read a couple of your posts before and have never spoken to you, however its obvious you touched lots of people and that you will be missed greatly!
Death is always a horrible thing to deal with, and I think its worse when its someone so young who obviously had the ability to touch so many people!


----------



## kandyraverchick

I heard this news last night. It kind of spread around FaTz's dinner, many were sad, tears were wept.

Gilly - I never got the chance to communicate with you one on one, but I would've liked to. I could tell you were a beautiful person from the inside out and also very intelligent.

It's weird, sometimes you can be standing in a room surrounded by many, many people and still feel alone. Still feel like no-one knows who you really are, and still feel mis-understood. Sometimes you can laugh, you can smile.... yet still feel empty on the inside. Nobody seems to notice, except for you. 

I know because I've been there.

I'm deeply sorry you had to feel like that! Things would have got better....

You will be sadly missed by many and my condolences go out to your family and friends. 

xoxox -=Much love and respect=-


----------



## dialated665

OMG so so sad,



			
				GillyWin said:
			
		

> *dialated is well known in these parts for his manky finger .. which is imprinted on my mind  *



^^ this is the only thing i knew her by, it made me laugh, the word "manky", a word ive only ever heard by one other person 

Gilly You might remember me by my "manky" finger, But i'll remember you buy your cool choice of words.

A perth B'lighter i'll never meet !

Now lets remember her for all the good memories hey 

RIP


----------



## toenibbler

Was listening to a few tracks and A soft ballad by Shihad (None Of The Above) came on and .. almost brought me 2 tears.

_One last time with all your friends
Feeling fragile, feeling love
Feeling none of the above
Throwing water down the well
Can be heaven, can be hell
I feel stupid, I feel love
I'm feeling none of the above

And now we'll never understand
But things don't always go as planned _


----------



## silvia saint

gilly was a mature, highly independent young woman, much more so than those her age.

beautiful and forever giving despite the suffering beneath. never selfish.  

with love. ss


----------



## leecie

Oh wow. I didnt know Gilly beyond her eLJay and her postings on BL, but it's clear she was a very special person to the Perth crew and beyond. I'll be keeping all her family and friends in my thoughts over the coming weeks.


----------



## MazDan

My thoughts are with her family, friends and fellow bluelighters.

Sometimes life sucks.........

Just know that this was one of the worlds special people and will be remembered for being that very special person.

Gillywin........R.I.P.


----------



## iamtha1

Although I never spoke to Gilly personally, I always enjoyed reading her posts, her poems and I thought she was beautiful.

Just from this thread alone, I realise she has touched so many people and it scares me that even after all that, people still believe that there is no choice but to end it. 

Condolenses to her family and friends.

Life can be pretty fucked


----------



## astro^boi

Cheers to the Perth BL'ers who came down to the rosie for a drink and chat. You guys know who u are. Was good to talk to fellow friends who knew Gilly. It was a first that we all met bcause of Gill's passing. Not something i'd like to ever do again. 

Have heard Red_Koi might be making the trip back to Perth to attend Gill's funeral later next week. Again shows how much people do care.


----------



## Wacky

Sorry to hear this has happened  .

In times like these,I feel I should remember how short life can be,NOT be afraid to show love towards the people I care about and NOT to take things for granted.

I didn't know GillyWin.But,from being touched now and previously by suicide,my heart and thoughts go out to her family and friends in this tough,trying and sad time  .

R.I.P GillyWin


----------



## Killing_time

*Better days...*





courtesy of C.O.T.B. 
Gilly my sweet, you'll be greatly missed

PEACE


----------



## Mary Poppins

Wacky said:
			
		

> *
> 
> In times like these,I feel I should remember how short life can be,NOT be afraid to show love towards the people I care about and NOT to take things for granted.
> *



beautifully said Wacky.

I just feel like hugging all my friends and never letting them go....


----------



## nvs

i have a favour to ask...
the family wont get the time of her death till maybe wed..
they are unshaw of wha actuall time she passed away..
so to let there mind rest, if anyone had contact with her thur or fri on here or msn or phone or how eva please put it on here or let me know so i kan tell them..
cheers james

ohh ive neva been on here apart from tday, and all the ppl she has touched is amazing! 
just shows you how special she was...
i didnt know about this meet at rosie's tday if not i would have come...
i should be haven drinks at "nu-vibe" on fri nite feel free for anyone 2 come along! i know ill be drinkn to one very missed daughter, sister and friend!


----------



## DJC*

I was with Muzby when he got the call lastnight and he said a close friend from Perth had passed on. I had no idea who until today....

So so very sad. 
I never actauly met her, but we did talk online a few times, and i read her posts on BL. Such an amazing girl.

RIP Gilly


----------



## claireyWin

As you can prob tell by the name i am gill's younger sister. My heart goes out to everyone she has touched...

I just know the pain we are feeling now is nothing compared to what she felt everyday, no one could see her pain, it was hidden behind her smiling face. She was so much more than a sister to me, she taught me everything i know, even gave me my first taste of passion pop! 

To turn back time would take back her happiness.... she is finally free of what troubled her 


gilly i love you


xxx


----------



## natt

I don't really know what to say except thankyou to everyone who has thought of gillian today. 

I love you so much Gillian i hope you know that. I will never forget you, you changed my life when i met you and by the sounds of it you touched many others.You deserve to be happy and i hope you are.Always you will be in my heart and i hope you can be at peace now. Luv always Natxxxx


----------



## claireyWin

As you can prob tell by the name i am gill's younger sister. My heart goes out to everyone she has touched...

I just know the pain we are feeling now is nothing compared to what she felt everyday, no one could see her pain, it was hidden behind her smiling face. She was so much more than a sister to me, she taught me everything i know, even gave me my first taste of passion pop! 

To turn back time would take back her happiness.... she is finally free of what troubled her 


gilly i love you

xxx


----------



## claireyWin

oops tired to post a reply... can't half tell im new here


----------



## Pounding_Grooves

hi, sorry to hear of your loss, i didnt know ur sis, but i caught her posts  about " the machinist" she will be missed,  my condolences


----------



## eloise

i haven't written anything yet because i wasn't (and i'm still not, to be honest) sure exactly what to say- i never thought i could be so stunned and upset at the loss of someone i hadn't even met.

anyway, here's my 'separated at birth?' photo i made for her a few months ago- for everything they say about mischa barton being so damn beautiful, i think you'll find the truly gorgeous one is on the right.

my sincerest condolences
xx


----------



## lok1

Clairey, I meet gill a few times and im very saddened by her death - my deepest condolences to you and your family. I cant begin to imagine the suffering you must be going through right now, and im truly sorry for your loss. 

I think NVS is orgainising some drinks at roller or nu vibe this week, you may want to ask him and join us?


----------



## Fry-d-

Words cannot express....

Such a terrible loss of such a fibrant beautiful face of bluelight. I never had the pleasure of meeting gilly I could only admire the online personality we had all grown to love but its obvious how many many people she had touched in real life or in just cyberspace.

My heart goes out to all the family and friends.

RIP  Gilly.


----------



## NickyJ

I'm finding this so hard, I thought being at work would help but it hasn't  I can't imagine what it must be like for her family 

She thought very highly of you Claire. I had a few conversations with Gill about you. Be strong. She was very proud of her little sister.


----------



## ian_strong

wow i havent been on all weekend and miss this.... my heart goes out to all that she has touched she will be sorely missed by all here and her family, such a big loss for all involved again my heart goes out to all ..


----------



## Samadhi

ClaireyWin, I've merged the thread you started accidentally while trying to reply with the original thread about Gilly.  I know that when i first joined bluelight, i unintentionally started a few threads that i'd only meant to reply to. 

Please know, and i'm sure i'm not only speaking for myself, but we're all thinking of you and your loved ones.  Gilly was an amazing girl.



> _Originally posted by nickyj_
> 
> She thought very highly of you Claire. I had a few conversations with Gill about you. Be strong. She was very proud of her little sister.



Nickyj: This is one of the things i love about bluelight and the opportunities it gives people.  ClaireyWin may have never known that Gilly spoke to you about her in such a loving way if she'd not read it on here.

Much love to you all.


----------



## Finder

Sorry to hear about this, folks.


----------



## ANDO420

RIP


----------



## wazza

This news made me very surprised and sad. Gilly always seemed so happy and upbeat.  Condolences go out to her family and friends. I hope wherever she is now that she is happy.

Much love and respect. R.I.P


----------



## Naughtiest_Maximus

*RIP*

This is such sad sad news... 
My heart goes out to her family and friends. She will be sorely missed.


----------



## *~bickie~*

RIP Gillywin 
Sincere condolences to family and friends


----------



## CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT

*Love to you always, our beautiful blue-eyed Gilly.*

Shocked.
Numbed.
Distraught and helpless.

So many *emotions* stemming from the demise of someone I met _once_, but spoke to online through a special little site some of us know about for what felt like an *eternity*.

Such a bubbly girl. Such a sharp *witty* brain. Such a beautiful persona, both online and off.
Such a shame. Such a waste. Such *sadness*.

Darling, wherever you are now, whatever you're doing - - - - we all really hope you've found the *peace* you were searching for. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	










.


----------



## claireyWin

ozbreaker said:
			
		

> *Oh no no no. not gilly.
> 
> Only today i was on the verge of getting another snow dome to send over to her.
> 
> This is so sad. she was so funny, smart and caring...
> 
> I still cant believe it.
> 
> Rest In Peace Gilly and condolences to everyone whos life she touched.
> 
> I never actually met her but we spent hours chatting on the net. So shocked. A very sad day indeed. I only hope she's in a better place now.
> 
> *



Gill really loved that snow dome you sent over for her, she went on about for days... just thought you'd like to know my mum's placing it in the coffin with her...


----------



## quiet roar

Fuck.



RIP Gilly.


----------



## xcidium

Holy crap. What?! Shock. uh.

I didn't get the chance to meet Super Gilly, when there were several chances too, damn, this is hard to take in. 

It was only a week or so ago she was helping me on MSN think of idea's to procrastinate here at work while I was waiting till 5:30 so i could finish work.

"goto the toilet, that usually gives you at least 5 minutes, I'm a master of procrastination" - Gillywin

Damn, I wish I'd met her. She seemed like one of those people that could actually get along with anyone, genuinley. I didn't even know her yet she made me feel like we were good friends.

One of a kind.


----------



## h@ndo

*R.I.P. My Friend*

Goodbye Gill.

 

Love 
Chris & Erin


----------



## katmeow

Such terrible news to wake up to yesterday morning 

I never knew Gillywin beyond her posts on bluelight, but as others have said, she was definitely one of those people who's posts you looked out for and held in high regard.

Hearing about the death of someone so young always guts me. Losing another member of our community in this way is heartbreaking.

RIP Gilly, we will miss your smiling face around this place


----------



## Raz

I never met Gilly or really chatted to her online, so while this isn't a personal tragedy for me, I was still shocked to hear about her death because she's one of the names I recognise straight away as a bluelighter.  To everyone who's feeling the loss, my heart goes out to you guys in a big way...

I don't know if this is the appropriate place to say it, and I really do apologise if I'm speaking out of turn, but...having been suicidally depressed several times in my life, I can't stress the importance of not holding it all in.  You're not as alone as you might think, and maybe you won't find someone who can relate to what it is to live through your life...but it helps _so much_ sometimes knowing that even if people don't understand, they care.  Sometimes it helps just knowing that people _care_.

To anyone who has suicidal feelings...please talk to someone about them.  Please talk to a friend or a relative or a counsellor, or if you can't bring yourself to do it face to face, do it anonymously online.  If that's still too confronting, keep a diary.  Write letters that nobody will ever see.  Write poetry or paint or do anything that will start teaching you how to let this stuff go, because if you hold onto it and don't ever give yourself the chance to get past it, it will eat you up.  You have to give people the chance to show they care...people really do, but even when you feel like your sadness is being broadcast so loudly, the people who love you may not ever know the intensity of your depression unless you actually come out and tell them.

Life can change.  It's really really hard to believe that sometimes.  It took me more than the first quarter century of my life before I started wanting to actually live.

I really hope this doesn't come across as me getting on a soapbox because that's not what this is about at all...it's just frustrating when stuff like this happens--like I said, I didn't know Gilly at all, but I saw how much people were affected the other night when they found out and that in itself tells me how sad this is.


----------



## eKLaB

My condolences go to the family and friends of Gillywin. I never had the pleasure of meeting her or talking to her but from the support shown in this thread she will be a dearly missed loving girl.
I was in Perth saturday night when I got the news from rushraver who I had the pleasure of meeting up the night b4 and taking me out for a great time at the rise.
Thank you nick, I'm really sorry.


----------



## leecie

claireyWin said:
			
		

> *Gill really loved that snow dome you sent over for her, she went on about for days... just thought you'd like to know my mum's placing it in the coffin with her... *



if nothing else in this thread has made you cry yet...this will. my heart just shattered in to a million pieces.


----------



## psychedelik_aj

My Gosh, I am shocked and in tears atm. I dont think anyone would have thought that such a beautiful person such as Gillian would ever do something like this.   I grew up with Gilly, she was always smiling and so happy and was kind of like a sister to me as I was over quite often.  

I am so sorry to hear this has happened Jonathan and Claire.  My Parents, My Aunty Mella, Justin, Andy, Steven and myself offer you our sincere condolences.  Jonny take care of one another, I hope to see you soon. 

God Bless Gillian, may you rest in peace.


----------



## tezboy_racing

R.I.P.


----------



## young livers heal quick

Never knew you GillyWin but this is really sad. Godspeed to ya and condolences and best wishes to the family and friends. 
You clearly touched a lot of people and I hope you're at peace now.


----------



## UberKahn

rip gilly  .. we met only a couple of times but your smile will be with us all forever.


----------



## neverwas

all though ive never met her in person she was someone who ive spoken to regularly through prviate msn chats. such a beautiful person...we'd read each others journals religiously and give nothing but positive comments 

last time we spoke she was so excited about me comming over to Perth to meet her and get up to drunken shinnanagins with me 

I *heart* you Gilly. You will be missed...but i know you are at rest now


----------



## glowbug

Condolences from the States.


----------



## e5th3r

R.I.P you gorgeous gorgeous lady.


----------



## smart-e

This is just so sad. I can't find the words to say anything of value. Just that im sorry for Gillys family and friends.


----------



## [S]alvatore

What.the.fuck. I didn't know her at all, but this has put me in a shit of a mood


----------



## nickthecheese

My condolences to all those who knew her personally. Suicide is a terrible way for a connection with someone to come to an end. May she live on in all the energy of the universe


----------



## CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT

**

_Originally posted by nickthecheese _
*May she live on in all the energy of the universe...*
^Here here. Love for you *Gilly*, whatever form you've taken on. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.


----------



## Red Koi

Its been a difficult weekend. 

When I got the call from Gilly's best friend on Saturday night I really didnt think it could be true....

This is the first chance I've had to come on here and see the thread everyone had told me about. Im really blown away. I know that our little Perth BL group and all those that have met her in person know just how special this girl was, events, drinks and everything in between, I had a blast with her. Ive been amazed at just how many people she touched here.

Like a lot of others she was the very first person to approach me online for a chat... since then theres been no looking back. She is one friend that's going to stay with me forever.

Due to circumstances well out of my control I dont think ill be there on Friday although there's no where else Id rather be. Astro knows what id like to do. Wish I could be there to say a final goodbye and be able to talk to you guys about her, to just be there with people that knew her. 

Her family and friends must be devastated, I cant even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose a member of my family. 

As everyone has said I just hope that you got what you were looking for. Things just wont be the same without you. 

I just wish I knew what to write... Im going to miss you


----------



## UnSquare

*Stunned*

I really don't know what to write,
but this is really sad.

GillyWin wrote brilliant & wonderful stuff
that grabbed my attention,
& I always looked out for her posts.

Whilst never having met her in person,
I feel, well, really sad...

...to those who where close to her,
& her family,
I extend my love & condolences,
but really don't know how to say anymore.

Actually, perhaps scrap what I wrote,
& replace it with 
"I don't know what to write."...

exect more love towards those close to her.




In the conversations I did have with you,
you were amazin'ly articulate, beautiful & touching.
And I thank you for that forever.

Ben


----------



## ian_strong

to gilly and all who cared for you,

     You were an inciteful, open minded, ultimately kindhearted and beautiful young lady, who- whether you had had the honour of meeting her or just enjoyed her online persona and company as i did touched us all in an unmistakeable way, you will be greatly missed and fondly remembered by all.... we all hope you find the happiness you sought in the everafter....
                  Ian_strong...


----------



## MooShiE

I just found this thought ya'll might like to see it....


----------



## LahLahGatecrasher

Oh my goodness... Im back to pass on my love and sympthy to all the perth bl crew and of G's family and friends.. She will be sadly missed, not that I knew her but this is such a shock.....


----------



## astro^boi

MooSh that was at the Brisbane(Perth pub/bar)...she was wearing those gorgeous COWBOY boots!! They all went to rise that night...heard they had a really good time. Had to give it a miss coz i was a bit "worse for wear" from the night before..im missing gilly a whole lot!!


----------



## PLUR SENSUAL

Yeh that was a good night Astro, ... I remember Muzby, Gilly and I sitting upstairs at Rise on the lounge, just chillin....huge smiles!!


Fond memories will stay with us all.


----------



## onetwothreefour

thanks for posting that photo mooshie


----------



## MooShiE

Well I suggest remembering the happy times!! common guys anyone with photos get em up here! Lets make this her shrine!!!!

On a side note im hoping that once this thread has finished we will be moving this to the Bluelight Shrine?


----------



## Samadhi

MooShiE said:
			
		

> *Well I suggest remembering the happy times!! common guys anyone with photos get em up here! Lets make this her shrine!!!!
> 
> On a side note im hoping that once this thread has finished we will be moving this to the Bluelight Shrine? *



Already in the works, Mooshie


----------



## princess_kitti

This is really sad. My sympathy and love to all who were close to her.

It is also tragic because since her passing there has been such a celebration of her person that it makes me sad that i will never meet this wonderful and beautiful girl. May she live on in the memories and hearts of those who she touched.


----------



## zephyr

MooShiE said:
			
		

> *Well I suggest remembering the happy times!! common guys anyone with photos get em up here! Lets make this her shrine!!!!
> 
> On a side note im hoping that once this thread has finished we will be moving this to the Bluelight Shrine? *



there are heaps of photos between us over here.  Ill dig mine out and hopefully the others will post theirs too.


----------



## NickyJ

This was the most recent pic she sent me. Just a couple of weeks ago. Not sure when it was taken tho.

I have a good one of her and Claire wearing bunny ears that I'll post when I get home from work.


----------



## eloise

k, these are all the photos i have. maybe if family members haven't seen them, it'll be something nice.

















^mostly the result of keystroke + i staying up late, drunk on msn and begging for pictures. 




^and that's the bunny ear one you're talking about? 


edit: oh, and i don't mean to offend, but i'm not sure about the use/connotations of the word 'shrine'.


----------



## anna!

^ That's just what it's called. It won't be changed - it's completely out of our control. I apologise on behalf of the admins if it's offensive or upsetting 

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=89&r=1021


----------



## keystroke

this is the first aus. social thread I've read for months.

I can't recall how many hours I spent instead of sleeping, drinking goon and talking to her on the phone and MSN. It's such a sad thing, especially to happen to such a lovely young girl with so much potential. She was one of the nicest people I've ever known.

.......


Gill in her finest -


----------



## electreauxbella

Wow… things like this really make you put your own life into perspective. I wonder why she did it? From all accounts she wasn't a depressed person, but who knows what was really going on inside her mind.

I've never really spoken to her, but she always made me laugh with her sense of humor and straight-up-ness and im sure she will be sorely missed around here.

RIP Gilly. May you rest in peace, and may your soul be forever free.


----------



## rock_lobster

OMG, I just saw the post in support.

I can't believe this 

We swapped a couple of pm's a couple of months ago when I made a comment on one of her pics.  She was such a sweetheart, a really lovely girl, I'm devestated 

Gilly, I hope you've found the peace you sought. All my love!


----------



## kryalkastleE

*sigh*
she was so pretty


----------



## lok1

i shall be at nu vibe this friday, as a tribute to her 
any one else going?


----------



## xcidium

what time?
It's only around the corner (200metres) from my work.


----------



## lok1

i wont get there till 10 or 11, but ill probally be there late.


----------



## drEaMtiMe*@#

.... i don't know what to say.  i never spoke to gilly whilst she was here but i always got the impression that she was a very cool girl.  

fuck, i'm really very shocked to hear this.  

.... i guess it just goes to show how much we can never really fully grasp what others are going through internally... 

r.i.p gillywin


----------



## NickyJ

Claire and Gilly


----------



## swe_E_tie




----------



## swe_E_tie




----------



## faerie

I think it's sad, I didn't know her but she was beautiful.  May she Rest in Peace.


----------



## jonnywin

*gill*

hey guys its sto unbelievable to all us how many ppl really cared about her and its good to see you all there for each other coz thats all anyone needs at this time but for those who wish to attend her funeral is at 10.00 am at saint francis xavier primary school in the church which is on south west hwy just after armadale rd and the burial is at in pineroo cemetry abit after which is ocean reef rd. pls alszo keep us posted on any meets or anything like that coz me and claire would love to meet yous alland i have already seen from sum photos a few ppl i recognise ecspecially the ones ones from the rise. there is also a vieiwing tommorow night in cannington from 8.00 til 9.30pm for those of her friends or anyone else who wish to pay their respects but cant get the time of work.if there is any ppl out there who havent met her or even have just a few times that feel like they need to do sumthing but just dont feel right just come to funeral its open to everyone and even if you havent met her and you want pls do come if u want. i know u guys all feel so bad for us, but we  feel the same for everyone its something we have to deal with and no one know what to do so al we c an do is be there for each other

also if someone can copy this onto teknoscape it would be greatly apprecieted thanx


----------



## zephyr

taken at linus's birthday.


----------



## up all night

I will never understand. She was a wonderful person, really unique and so easy to talk to. 

I will just never understand. 

   

For anyone else out there who is thinking about commiting suicide, please don't... there are so many people out there who care about you who you don't even know about.

Fuck babe. Just... fuck.


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## maniia

from the bluelight meetup in may last year


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## MooShiE

Sending my love out to everyone for tomorrow.. If I will still in Perth I would definately be there to pay my respects and be by your sides. Be strong for each other and smile cause im sure she wouldnt wanna see you all any other way.
Love to all my close friends.. you know who you are.  Ill be thinking of you tomorrow.


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## hohov3

RIP


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## LapDawg

Sad news. condolences to all who knew her.


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## PinholeStar

I didn't know her, but her poetry was beautiful.

Anyone who could write like that possessed a certain light inside of their soul.

Rest In Peace.


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## CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT

**

_Originally posted by MooShiE _
*Be strong for each other and smile cause im sure she wouldnt wanna see you all any other way.*
^-=Nods=-
I'm thinking of all of you, and our beautiful *Gilly*' today more than ever. Say goodbye for us, won't you? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	










.


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## astrosmurf

goodbye Gilly. 

RIP


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## Mary Poppins

yeah....extra special condolences to all the perth blers and gilly's friends and family for today 

i'm sure you'll give her the send off she deserves.

RIP Gilly


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## Killing_time

Putting aside my views on the Catholic Church for a moment, I would just like to say the second half of the funeral was a excellent farewell to a wonderful person.
Her brothers poem, I guess this was John, was beautiful.
I haven't cried so much in a long time.
And _Mad World_ and _Yellow_.. wonderful tribute tracks.
I don't know what else to say.
I sat in my car trying to pull myself together afterwards.. it's all a bit too much.
We _Perth Crew_ shall have to get together and see her off in our own way... the _Perth Crew_ way.
Thank you to her family for allowing us the opportunity to say goodbye.
Gill will be missed.. we will always love you.
 
To everyone else, Keep safe.
PEACE


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## CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT

**

_Originally posted by Killing_time _
*And Mad World and Yellow.. wonderful tribute tracks.*
^Wow. .
Just the thought of those *songs* has made me teary. Beautiful indeed. .


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## Rubber_Duck

The Poem, was absolutly unbelievable. i dont think there wasnt a dry eye whislt her brother was reading it out, 

She been placed to rest in the most peacefull place and the drum n bass will echo in her serinty for a very long time. Something that was soo special that the skys cleared for the buriel which gave me sence that shes happy and knows that there are people who do care alot about her all over the world!

I will miss you, gillywin!


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## ozbreaker

ClaireyWin and JonnyWin,

Thank-you for letting me know that you were placing the snowdome with gilly in her final resting place. It is such a big honour for me, and it really moved me as i had sent her that snowdome because i knew that she had been upset lately.

It breaks my heart to think that she didn't talk to me or her family or friends about how unhappy she was, but i'm glad that my gift gave her some happiness, in her passion for collecting them however brief it was.

My deepest sympathy and condolences to your family and Gilly's friends in perth and online. 

She was a beautiful girl who imparted a little bit of magic onto all who came into contact with her. I am so sorry for your loss.





--------
Some of the pictures Gilly sent me over time:

That's one of the infamous broken arm that turned regular SuperGilly into a One-Armed SuperGilly... 















Our green St Patricks Day Ninja after her shenannigans..


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## zephyr

Rubber_Duck said:
			
		

> *The Poem, was absolutly unbelievable. i dont think there wasnt a dry eye whislt her brother was reading it out,
> 
> She been placed to rest in the most peacefull place and the drum n bass will echo in her serinty for a very long time. Something that was soo special that the skys cleared for the buriel which gave me sence that shes happy and knows that there are people who do care alot about her all over the world!
> 
> I will miss you, gillywin! *


i lost it during that poem.  The loss is undescribable.  She will ALWAYS be remembered!!


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## katmeow

If only she realised...


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## kazza_baby

I still can't fathom this.
My heart is with all of you.


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## Donny Don't

Killing_time said:
			
		

> *
> And Mad World and Yellow.. wonderful tribute tracks.
> *



I'm listening to Mad World now....such a sad sad song.

Gilly may you rest eternally in peace. If only you knew how many people you touched.


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## Samadhi

Mad World is one of Mr Samadhi's & my favourite tracks.  Gilly, today you were  in my thoughts, as were all of your friends and loved ones who gathered to celebrate your life...

K & S


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## nvs

sad day in general...
pitty i dont know u guys!
could have said hello..
i came and left by myself..
but was all for a very good reason!

well im gonna go out and continue drinking..
at nu-vibe..
come join me if u wanna..


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## swe_E_tie

It was a sad day but I am glad I was able to say goodbye to Gilly and celebrate her life.  The poem her brother read was unbelievable..and the songs chosen were perfect.  Many condolences to her family.

Ducky, I also found it quite comforting that the weather cleared and the sun shone when Gilly was lowered.  Hopefully it means that God has welcomed her and she was proudly looking down at us.

To all my fellow Perth BLer's, it was heartwarming to see you all there today to farewell our friend.  I am thinking of you all and am here if any of you need anything.  I agree with you K_T, we now have to celebrate Gilly our way!

Much love XXX


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## *IRISH*

Its very sad and lonely being over here and not being able to attend the funeral service to say good bye. Need some big hugs from the perth crew may she find happiness and rest in peace. She will be missed forever.


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## Signat

Someone should add this to the BLShrine

Signat


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## lok1

I was at nu vibe very brielfy, not knowing who else was there and being rushed by my friends meant that i wasnt able to stay long. I wish i had been able to make it to the funeral, Rush_raver told me about it, but if i didnt finish my exams i would have failed 

Rest in peice gill, you shall be missed.


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## katmeow

Signat said:
			
		

> *Someone should add this to the BLShrine
> 
> Signat *




I believe it's already in the works. This will probably stay here a little longer to make sure everyone from aust social has had a chance to reply


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## jonnywin

*poem for gill*

gillian


i have heard people say, you dont know what you've got till its gone
but i always knew, ive known all along
coz theres a hole in my heart, that i'll never fill
because theres someone missing
and we called her gill
she had a smile that could light up the world
such a caring intelligent and beautiful girl
i wonder if she knows how much ive missed her
and that i'd do anything to have her back, to have my little sister
but theres one thing im thankfull for, that i had the chance
to be that lucky person who shared her last dance
i'll never forget the look on her face,as i spun her around
and she never stopped smiling, even when she sat down
i think of these good times we had in the past
and as far as sisters go,she really kicked ass
my love for her was like a love for no other, and i know she felt the same
coz she called me brother
to my sister i still have here , claire, i just want you to know
i love you so much, and together we'll grow 
we need to be strong, and we dont have to hide
coz gills still standing here right by our side
the only thing now, is she looks down from above
but i know that shes there coz i can still feel her love
i wish i could write more, but i cant even think
coz my hearts filled with sorrow, and all i can do now is sink
so now its goodbye, untill we meet again
ive lost more than my sister, you were also my friend

i just thought i'd post the poem i wrote for gill


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## BREAKaBEAT

That was amazing. I have tears streaming down my face.


----------



## NickyJ

^ Ditto


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## swe_E_tie

Thankyou Jonnywin....it's just perfect!


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## maniia

i didn't make it to the funeral since i only met Gill a few times, but that poem had me in tears.


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## electreauxbella

wow, I just got goosebumps & tears reading that.

my thoughts are with you & claire jonny.


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## onetwothreefour

*Re: poem for gill*

_Originally posted by jonnywin _
*gillian


i have heard people say, you dont know what you've got till its gone
but i always knew, ive known all along
coz theres a hole in my heart, that i'll never fill
because theres someone missing
and we called her gill
she had a smile that could light up the world
such a caring intelligent and beautiful girl
i wonder if she knows how much ive missed her
and that i'd do anything to have her back, to have my little sister
but theres one thing im thankfull for, that i had the chance
to be that lucky person who shared her last dance
i'll never forget the look on her face,as i spun her around
and she never stopped smiling, even when she sat down
i think of these good times we had in the past
and as far as sisters go,she really kicked ass
my love for her was like a love for no other, and i know she felt the same
coz she called me brother
to my sister i still have here , claire, i just want you to know
i love you so much, and together we'll grow 
we need to be strong, and we dont have to hide
coz gills still standing here right by our side
the only thing now, is she looks down from above
but i know that shes there coz i can still feel her love
i wish i could write more, but i cant even think
coz my hearts filled with sorrow, and all i can do now is sink
so now its goodbye, untill we meet again
ive lost more than my sister, you were also my friend

i just thought i'd post the poem i wrote for gill *

wow man. that's some touching stuff.


----------



## Raving Loony

wonderful poem.


----------



## kazza_baby

wow.
i literally felt my heart skip a beat reading that.


----------



## Mary Poppins

so beautiful, and so good to see someone expressing their feelings in such a creative way


----------



## Mysterier




----------



## ozbreaker

beautiful poem jonny - so touching.


----------



## *~bickie~*

That is the most beautiful poem I have ever read...
My heart goes out to you and your entire family...


----------



## Pseudo G

I only heard about this a few days ago. 

I never would have thought that Gilly's happy, cheerful exterior hid a turbulent storm of emotions and problems so grave and intense that none of her numerous friends could have helped her with them.

Gilly, I hope the pain you were suffering has ended. I hope the problems you had to face are gone. I hope that where ever you are now, that you've found what you couldn't find in this life. I hope you rest in peace.

Find a friend, a family member or a loved one. Grab hold of them, give them a big hug, and tell them exactly how important they are to you. Do it now, because you never know when you may not get the chance to.


----------



## sonicnature

Amazing words jonny.. beautifully written, for a beautiful person, by a beautiful person.


----------



## DG

so sad that such a beautiful girl took her life. im glad she got to touch so many of you though.


----------



## Trancey

Omg. Wow. I... I am so sorry to hear this. She seemed like an amazing person here on BL, and I'm sure that that description will never do the justice of how she was in real life. 

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you who knew her and were touched by her at any point.


----------



## zephyr

Its really nice to see people from far away posting their condolences here.  Shows what a global community we are.


----------



## plazma

Fuck goddamnit fucking hell!



Gilly, you will be missed.

-plaz-


----------



## Samadhi

If anyone who knew Gilly well (Perth bl'er or maybe Jonnywin or Claireywin) would like to write a bio for her to head the thread in the Bluelight Shrine, please email or PM either myself or the other mods.  Thanks guys.


----------



## KemicalBurn

_Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay._

*~Robert Frost*​
I'll always think of her when i read this poem


----------



## -PSychiK-

Oh my god...

I haven't been on bluelight for a while and i come back on and find this thread....

I am in shock. She was sucha gorgeous girl, i dont understand.... i feel very very sad right now. I really hope her family is ok now... this must be terrible for them. I couldn't imagine losing my sister .....especially like this. My heart goes out to Gilly and her family..... i really hope you have the support you need during this tough time. I have read so many of her posts and she came across such a lovely intelligent girl, i dont doubt at all that was a reflection of how she actually was.  I just hope she is at peace now.

Reading this has seriously brought tears to my eyes.


----------



## Liinuss

found this thread a few pages deep, surely the time has come for this to be given it's rightful place in our shrine, so GillyWin can remain in BL's heart forever.


----------



## Samadhi

It's been sorted Liinuss, on its way to the shrine.


----------



## Zell

Dear Gillywin,
I may not have known you personally..and i somewhat doubt you even know who i am. But after reading this thread and looking at your photos im crying...you were so loved..and i feel the world is missing out on someone it truly needs. You were a wonderfull person and seemed to be the kind of person loved by everyone. You were also very beautiful..i think most would be lucky to have someone like you. I hope i have the pleasure of meeting you once my time has come..and remember you may be gone but you will never be forgotten...Love,

Andrew


----------



## shahab6

Very Sad


----------



## Nimrod4154

I never got to know her(I don't really know anyone here actually)

But that is horrible... :/


----------



## zephyr

The light went out one year ago today.  You are still remembered by us and always will be.  I will come and say goodbye to you before I leave Perth.

RIP Gilly.  Miss you always


----------



## NickyJ

I've been thinking of you this weekend Gilly. I still remember this time last year like it was yesterday. Miss you.


----------



## thebluemongoose

R.i.p.


----------



## OhNoAmanda




----------



## LD-50

omg... such a nice lady  RIP ....
BL shrine makes me feel bad actually but still good to see ppl love eachother here...

peace....


----------



## up all night

I had a few glasses of goon for your birthday the other day babe. I've also been doing way too much op shopping lately and I've found some stuff that I know you'll love.

Anyway, we're still thinking about you.


----------



## astro^boi

Missing you Gilly! London Elektricity are coming down under in the new year...I know you woulda loved seeing them live...

Love astro!


----------



## zephyr

^ missing u again gilly, astro and I are old farts niw but he still stomps, me not so much.


Xx


----------

