# Satanic xmas to everybody!



## Mr.Hankey

Mr. Jesus Christ was brutally tortured and murdered in order to us to get some funky presents. I say this was the plan of Devil! And it worked quite well, there has been no single ChristMassMurder without me getting wool socks and chocolate. Let's all praise Satan for his magnificent work and generous sacrifice. After all it was his son-in-law he had to let go. 
























Amen.


----------



## MrFister

All hail our kvlt overlord


----------



## lonewolf13

i just donated 5000 kudos to the church of stan


----------



## jpgrdnr

*sacrifices live goat with ritual knife and burning fire on front lawn*

All hail the coming of the great Ashmedai!

All hail the rule of Masih!

Armilus! Armilus! Armilus has returned!!!


----------



## Renz Envy

All hail Baphometh


----------



## debaser

Haha santa = satan...

When I'm at 7.666 posts I'll do something special. Nuff said. Hail Stan!


----------



## Incunabula

All Hail The Necrowizards ov the cold and frostbitten northlands!


----------



## Mr.Hankey

I just realized the reason why they don't serve bad booze in churches: it's false spirit! And you need proper fucking ethanol in order to sing the blackxmass carols.







I wonder if these 2 happy lil kinky twinsies ever got intimate? That'd make a nice xmas hit vid.


----------



## Incunabula

why u no liek stan?


----------



## Mr.Hankey

I like everybody. Even Stan, the 3rd brother of the oh so famous unholy trinity. God bless him.


----------



## Serotonin101

we satanists don't celebrate Christmas. we celebrate the solstice...


----------



## debaser

*666*


----------



## Mr.Hankey

^ that's one hell of a post nu\m/ber u got there!


----------



## Mr.Hankey

http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2012/12/the-20-creepiest-santas/


----------



## Shambles

Mr.Hankey said:


> Mr. Jesus Christ was brutally tortured and murdered...



Really? Just about this time of year too, you say? Man was I wrong 



debaser said:


> *666*



Quality film


----------



## Busty St Clare

Pity Xmas= Summer here











Lets not forget xmas is a time for family..


----------



## Shambles

Gotta luvva lonesome goth at xmas


----------



## webbykevin

I knew a dyslexic goth, he sold his soul to santa.


----------



## Captain.Heroin




----------



## Lysis

I want to wear a satan shirt on Xmas. And it's Christmas, you fuckers. Stop trying to take Christ out of Christmas. My private school teachers would smack you with a ruler for that.


----------



## debaser




----------



## Serotonin101

Lysis said:


> I want to wear a satan shirt on Xmas. And it's Christmas, you fuckers. Stop trying to take Christ out of Christmas. My private school teachers would smack you with a ruler for that.


you can spank me with a ruler anytime


----------



## adam west

stan!


----------



## Mr.Hankey




----------



## Mr.Hankey

I'm off. Merry xmas to everyone!

\m/\m/


----------



## Erich Generic

According to legend, Santa was actually the Catholic saint Nicholas. 
His staff wielded the cross, and behind it he led his army of tyrants promising ever lasting life.
 He traveled from small village to small village demanding all their goods. His scouts would invade the chimneys.


----------



## SideOrderOfOpiates

It's never too late to be the person you might have been before you forgot to worship Satan.


----------



## panic in paradise

Here is Looking at You Kid

Mwuaha hahahaa

Mwuoho hohohoo


----------



## pk.

panic in paradise said:


> Here is Looking at You Kid
> 
> Mwuaha hahahaa
> 
> Mwuoho hohohoo



lol, best quote ever


----------



## panic in paradise

pk. said:


> lol, best quote ever



I'll take your word for it.


----------



## pk.

good, so we can share some real truth


----------



## pk.

huehuehe


----------



## One Thousand Words




----------



## debaser

*MERRY 666MAS ALL*


----------



## sonix

Hail Satan, Merry Deathmas to all and to all go die.

Commercialism is satanic infact  it's greed thinking u need more and more and thats all santa and the holidays do is making people want is gifts.

Idk if i like deathmas or methmas better  Merry methmas to all and to all cracked out


----------



## Serotonin101

sonix said:


> Hail Satan, Merry Deathmas to all and to all go die.
> 
> Commercialism is satanic infact  it's greed thinking u need more and more and thats all santa and the holidays do is making people want is gifts.
> 
> Idk if i like deathmas or methmas better  Merry methmas to all and to all cracked out


Idk if methmas is all its cooked up to be...


----------



## lonewolf13

merry stanakatic christmas everyone


----------



## Mr.Hankey

It's that time of year again...


----------



## Serotonin101

Serotonin101 said:


> Idk if methmas is all its cooked up to be...


Damn I was funny last year... what the fuck happened


----------



## Limpet_Chicken

My family is pretty poor.

Thought we weren't going to get xmas dinner at all this season..until that rather well-hidden stash of claymores I left under the snow on the roof that was.

Puts the rain in 'reindeer'. And they come down ready cooked and jointed too.


Anglo santa 'Ho Ho Ho merry christmas!'

American santa 'fucking lazy bastards, DRIVE, I don't care how tired you are rudolf, but them paranoid buggrin' yanks are blitzen at us with antiaircraft fire, your going to end up as donner if you don't haul tail. 

North korean santa just got shot at dawn for mass theft and misappropriation of the the government store of the presents the people worked to produce for the motherland.

Nazi santa-gave out fantastically well engineered presents, but only to children who can prove themselves of pure german ancestry. And zoose vho arrh naughty, vell vee haff vays of maykeeng you be nice!

Jewish santa resents that of course, but goes down the chimneys no matter who they belong to, and approaches each kid individually, asks them how much they are willing to pay to rent a present.

Oirish saanta, he gets too pissed on the sherry, leaves  his sleigh keys in some puzzled child's stocking most years, makes it round the first five or six houses then collapses pissed on the house roof, local po-po are sick and tired of having to drag the fat fucking bastard all the way back to the van to sleep it off in the drunk tank for the next 11 months.


Dyslexic santa, well he screwed up BIG TIME this year, climbed down the chimney, left the youngest kid in the oven, blamed it on his big brother, and left the middle age girl the severed head of the family cat. Got home, thought 'shit its cold for these parts...'

Only THEN did he realise quite how badly mistaken he was about that job ad........


Scouser santa just coshed the big fat git on the noggin and split with the loot, popping by the scrap yard on the way to cash in the metal from the reindeer hooves for a few extra pints of stella worth.

Daily mail santa (was actually a prolific paedophile until a gay muslim ran up, showed him what being buggered was actually like, then sawed his head off to burn on top of the pile of those disgusting heathen idols, allahu akhbar!)

The Sun santa (just like most kids eventually figure out, was a big fat lie the entire time)

The daily sport santa couldn't really care less about the sensatioTITS!ARSE!GOBSHITE!

Although St.Nick is getting on a bit. Won't it be somewhat worrying if he either A-gets pasted in traffic, crashes his sleigh due to cataracts, or in the worst case, hangs up the mantle, and formally becomes OLD nick?


----------



## JunkieDays

Spoil me with lots of money this christmas, and I'll trade you my soul, satan.
There. It's in writing. A pact.

- JD


----------



## Illyria99

sonix said:


> Hail Satan, Merry Deathmas to all and to all go die.
> 
> Idk if i like deathmas or methmas better  Merry methmas to all and to all cracked out



Awesome. Merry Deathmas!


----------



## JunkieDays

Thank you, satan!
MY soul is yours to keep.


----------



## Mr.Hankey




----------



## bingey

^
so did you just change your username or is pointing out that santa is evil your whole _raison d'etre_?


----------



## Mr.Hankey

In xmas time everything is possible.
Just like your "Auld Phart Nicholas".
You just have to believe.


----------



## bingey

shit christmas is creeping me the fuck out right now.


----------



## Mr.Hankey

That's the spirit!
Feel the love!
Now where's that hand cream...


----------

