# RIP Dextermeth



## yaesutom

Just got home and saw this on Tim's facebook:



> Our dear friend and loved one, Tim Xaxier passed away today after he suffered an epileptic seizure while at home, and was taken to the intensive care unit. There he was kept for a short time so his friends and family could grieve. On the decision of the family, his life support will be removed at 8:00pm on August 25th, 2014, his body donated to medical research for which he was honored with a medal by the Gift of Life Donor program. His remains to be cremated and spread at sea.
> 
> Tim's genuine and thoughtful personality, as well as his intellect and artistic skill will be sorely missed.
> Tim was always a truly inspiring and intelligent person.
> 
> While each of us may have different memories and experiences of Tim, his true character will transcend his life and will continue to affect many of us for the rest of our lives.
> 
> His facebook settings have been changed to allow friends and family to express their messages to Tim as well as condolences to family. We ask that you are respectful of this decision.


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## ArCi

Holy shit this is hard to believe.

RIP Dexter


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## T. Calderone

Sad to hear this, bless his heart


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## kytnism

is this serious?

im in shock.

...kytnism...


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## L2R

We've had our ups and downs, Tim. Although we were going through a down, this still upsets me greatly. I was looking forward to meeting a happy and healthy mate in the future. Rest in peace, brother.


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## alasdairm

tragic news. r.i.p.

alasdair


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## DrinksWithEvil

Just checked his fb last night then this

I think this belongs in tl tbh for now 

Rip


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## Jabberwocky

What the hell.... This can be serious. Dexter. I'm actually in real emotional tears at the moment. 

Tim mate. Rest in peace. I know our chats were brief but you brought me momentous joy and happiness nobody else could have. 

I'll really miss you. I have the picture you made of me up on my wall for real bro. 



Just wake up. Please. Wakeup.


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## D's

I cant believe this fucking SHIT.

God fucking damnit. I hope hes bull shitting and is in a christian rehab that lasts for 12 months. 

I dont even know how to deal with this shit, i'm out.


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## stardust.hero

Oh Tim . Like many of BL friends I've added to my Facebook you always had a hilarious or appropriately joking/funny/trolling comment to add to my posts. You knew when to be funny and when to be serious and you knew how to be a great friend. I will miss you .


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## Jabberwocky

I've added him on Facebook like others. I'm struck with shock here. I just can't believe he's gone.

I'm seriously going to miss you bro. 

We did it buddy. We fucking did it. I'm done.

Can't face this at the moment.


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## spacejunk

Sad news.  Condolences to his friends and loved ones.


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## cj

Damn.... This place won't be the same without him


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## drewbocop

Oh my God. Rest in peace, DexterMeth. 

Bluelight Hall of Fame.


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## coelophysis

Here's a shrine thread I really didn't want to have to see.

Goodbye bro


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## CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT

Goddamn it Dex. You're making me log back in. Even in death you're fucking up my shit. 

We went through a lot over the years. You were an impossible prankster and often more stubborn than you needed to be. 

Your humour was both infectious and ridiculous and you were often a straight shooter in a sea of pleasers. 

I'll miss you that's for sure. I know you're somewhere where you won't even need anything to puff on to keep you happy. 

Rest in peace mang.


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## Perpetual Indulgence

I had to come back too for goodbyes


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## Jabberwocky

Laika said:


> Here's a shrine thread I really didn't want to have to see.
> 
> Goodbye bro



Can't agree more laika. Can't agree more. Still need to wake up. Please.


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## MikeRWK

You sure entertained me for many hours in tc dex, you were a good guy.


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## n3ophy7e

They just turned off his life support. I am gutted. Completely heartbroken. The world has lost a beautiful, truly unique person today.

Tim and I shared a once in a lifetime connection. We shared true love, and I am so grateful that I got to show him that.

Tim, I love you. I will always treasure the time we spent together. You made me see the value in myself, you always made me laugh, and you helped me through so much. Thank you for everything. I just wish I could talk to you one more time, to say goodbye. The last thing you said to me was "I'm so proud of you Rose." I will always make you proud Tim. You will always be in my heart


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## lilczey

I talked to dex almost every day.. 

He was really close with my baby moms  and they spoke alot too.. 

I did have a falling out wit dex a year ago  but we worked it out and have been   even closer since.. 

He told me he was "clean" for the most part.. 

What kills me the most is he told my wifey he wished he had someone that loved him as much as she loved me.. 

Sad thing is he did, mostly all of us did.. 

And i wud give my fucking left arm, leg, nut, and ear to fucking tell him that right now.. 

I literally cried tonight for Tim's passing...

I hope you found tha peace you were looking for dex .

I jus wish it wasn't like this.. I hope this is a dream for us both.. 

Just wake up. Please. Wakeup. 

Even if his seizure was drug related I will still be buying purple and wearing purple for epilepsy awareness for yu tomorrow Bro...


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## beanergrl

I read this through a friend's post on FB and logged in to give my condolences. Rest in peace, Dex, rest in peace.


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## Bill

Fuck this is sad
I always thought of him as basically indestructible 

Rip bro


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## Roger&Me

dex was my fucking bro, i can't even describe with words how much i'm gonna miss him. when i heard the news earlier it was like somebody kicked me in the chest. RIP dexbr0. you were one of my all-time favorite peeps. i'm gonna miss the shit out of you. i'm sure i'm still gonna be laughing about some of your antics for years and years. 

brb cry, for real this time



n3ophy7e said:


> Tim and I shared a once in a lifetime connection. We shared true love, and I am so grateful that I got to show him that



tim absolutely adored you, n3o. i'm sure the happiest times of his life were the ones he spent with you


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## Solipsis

Rest in peace compadre


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## n3ophy7e

Roger&Me said:
			
		

> tim absolutely adored you, n3o. i'm sure the happiest times of his life were the ones he spent with you


Thanks dude, that means the world to me  

I feel like a piece of me has died. I miss you Tim.


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## kittyinthedark

^Even his typed words were lit up with joy when he talked about you. You'll always have a very happy place in his heart.

I always got a delightfully messed up comment from him on most of my facebook posts. He had that awesomely off sense of humor that most people can't pull off without seeming like a weirdo, and I'll never know quite how he did it. Always made me smile, even if sometimes I wanted to smack him in the face. I'm sorely disappointed we never got to hang out in person.  I'll miss him.


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## lilczey

kittyinthedark said:


> ^Even his typed words were lit up with joy when he talked about you. You'll always have a very happy place in his heart.
> 
> I always got a delightfully messed up comment from him on most of my facebook posts. He had that awesomely off sense of humor that most people can't pull off without seeming like a weirdo, and I'll never know quite how he did it. Always made me smile, even if sometimes I wanted to smack him in the face. I'm sorely disappointed we never got to hang out in person.  I'll miss him.


This.. 

He spoke about you a decent amount to me and my wifey.. N3ophy7e..


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## ohsodope

I'm going to miss dex so much.  I'm so lost for words currently and like czey said I was very close to him.  We had insomnia and would talk for hours on end . This is heart breaking and please wear purple for dex as he had a epileptic seizure that caused his passing.  I love you dex you will never be forgotten in our household and hearts.


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## n3ophy7e

kittyinthedark said:


> ^Even his typed words were lit up with joy when he talked about you. You'll always have a very happy place in his heart.


Thank you so much hun  

I have so much to say but I'm lost for words. 

The last time I saw Tim, it was when I was leaving LA to come back to Sydney. He held me tight as I cried, and I told him I was scared to leave. But I promised him I would see him again. I guess I'll just have to wait longer now. 

I miss you so much Tim.


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## Morninggloryseed

Gonna miss you my friend.  You left too early, and with too much talent.  Another round of 'More Score' For Tim.

https://soundcloud.com/tim-xavier/more-score-again


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## DarthMom

RIP Dex


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## Pharcyde

rip my friend

you knew the deal tween us. good times


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## Jabberwocky

i dedicated my day to you dexter. i love you man. i hope you're in a better place now


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## aq.

I hardly ever posted in TL but always lurk.

RIP..


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## Bob Loblaw

_I'm not Tim Xavier. I'm THE Tim Xavier_



_I don't text if I can just BL or TC
 or FB...
waste of minutes_



One of the first & one of the last things you ever said to me. Both made me fucking lol like only you could...


I hope they have some of those bomb-ass thrift stores I talked to you about wherever you are


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## Captain.Heroin

rest in peace tim 

I can't believe how many of my friends have died in such a short few years 

stay safe everyone


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## Zerrr

Well said Captain, sometimes it gets overwhelmingly dark in here. 

one of those days..

fwiw- sending all i can to the people who got to know him best.


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## DrinksWithEvil

Lol
One time at like 3am he messages me on fb to wake up I'm bored


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## gr33n3y3z

I hope your in a better place, I never chatted with you but saw your posts a lot and made me laugh, you were such a smart guy. 

Take care wherever you are.


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## tackyspiral

rip in dex..... i will miss lounging with you


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## LuGoJ

Please find peace wherever you are


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## subotai

RIP 

cant even find any words to say about dex, he was one of a kind


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## SideOrderOfOpiates

Tim, you fucking twat tapper. You were the genius.


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## n3ophy7e

I spoke with Tim's parents, apparently he was unconscious and had no pulse immediately after the seizure so he wouldn't have suffered. They were able to get his pulse back when he got to the hospital but he never woke up. I imagine he would've gone peacefully and didn't have a clue that he was dying. I take solace in that. Tim was really working hard to stay on track recently, in fact he and his parents were about to go to an AA meeting together the evening he had the seizure. For a guy who made a lot of bad choices in life with drugs etc, leading up to his death he was really making his parents proud. 

I told them how much he is missed by all of his friends here


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## indelibleface

Wow. 

Tim and I weren't close; we may have exchanged a few words here and there over the years, but certainly all of us Bluelighters from 10+ years ago feel like one big family, and when one of us dies it hits hard, no matter who it is or how close we actually were.

My condolences.


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## PriestTheyCalledHim

Rest in peace.  My condolences to his friends and family.  Stay safe everyone.


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## cj

indelibleface said:


> Wow.
> 
> Tim and I weren't close; we may have exchanged a few words here and there over the years, but certainly all of us Bluelighters from 10+ years ago feel like one big family, and when one of us dies it hits hard, no matter who it is or how close we actually were.
> 
> My condolences.


Well said.


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## RedLeader

There were a couple times over the years that Dexter went on several week/month long streaks of living clean/sober, and during those times, he would come into TDS and provide polished words of wisdom.  I remember him talking about getting up really early and going for runs, spending time in nature, listening to the Pixies. He really enjoyed those sober moments.  I could always tell that the guy had a brilliant mind.  With that said, brilliant minds often hold a billion unique terrors, and I think that his finally won the battle again him.  It's sad, as I was always hoping that he'd pull it together and get some true distance between himself and the chemical madness.  He had so much potential.  RIP.


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## Droppersneck

stardust.hero said:


> Oh Tim . Like many of BL friends I've added to my Facebook you always had a hilarious or appropriately joking/funny/trolling comment to add to my posts. You knew when to be funny and when to be serious and you knew how to be a great friend. I will miss you .



I had an emotional affair with your BF. Just to let you know he liked pretending to be a girl maybe a little too much imo.


Tim was the man and I am still sad as fuck. We had a similar take on most things and he will be greatly missed by everyone he knew irl and online imo


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## coelophysis

Droppersneck said:


> I had an emotional affair with your BF. Just to let you know he liked pretending to be a girl maybe a little too much imo.



Because she doesn't already know that.

Btw Tim is basically the one who set you and I up.


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## Droppersneck

He was also one of the ones that tipped me off early on even before everyone else gave it away. Bob is the one that set me up iirc


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## coelophysis

Lol.. Suuuuure, quite easy to say when he's not around.


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## soundsystem00

Wow dex. You were kind of my guide and introduction to the lounge. Always a nice dude and intelligent. Although you would always turn on me, it was always in good fun. I will miss you man.


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## foolsgold

rest in peace dexter


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## Tryptamine*Dreamer

Just looked here. I enjoyed a lot of his posts, though hadn't seen any for a while. We even responded to each other at least a few times, though I did not really know him.
This is still just sad news. I was hoping I would not find anything like this when I checked, but I did. 

I hope he is in a better place or being reborn somewhere in the multiverse, but I just can't feel that to be true and I am sad to be saying that here - I truly and sincerely hope my feelings are wrong.


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## chinky

this fuckin sucks


too many people over the years...


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## straightrazor

Damn shame, RIP.


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## ellua

So sad, may you find peace.

Condolences to the family and friends.


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## junglejuice

Ugh 

You were always one of God's own prototypes.

Rest in peace


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## tricomb

God Bless You old friend...


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## LSDMDMA&AMP

rip mane


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## AlphaMethylPhenyl

he was really nice to me when I was in a bad state; rest in peace, man.


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## undead

Every so often, I venture to the BL shrine with an anxious heart. I'm truly bummed to see Dex's name here.


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## lolwhatzdrugs

Wow, missed this 

An avatar found in almost every thread, and a helpful presence. Though I didn't talk to the guy much directly he wasn't was easy to miss. 


Epileptic seizure though? Not particularly high on the list of things that kill recreational (or non) drug users, if this is considered impolite to query just ignore me, but did it have to do with his namesake?


If you believed in an after-life I hope you made it safely - go trip with Dr. Shulgin. If not, you'll be missed back here regardless. 


I've always found this quote by Bertrand Russell (if you don't know who he is, it should be noted he's not alive either) comforting...:



> The past alone is truly real: the present is but a painful, struggling birth into the immutable being of what is no longer. Only the dead exist fully. The lives of the living are fragmentary, doubtful, and subject to change; but the lives of the dead are complete, free from the sway of Time, the all but omnipotent lord of the world. Their failures and successes, their hopes and fears, their joys and pains, have become eternal—our efforts cannot now abate one jot of them. Sorrows long buried in the grave, tragedies of which only a fading memory remains, loves immortalized by Death's hallowing touch these have a power, a magic, an untroubled calm, to which no present can attain. ...*On the banks of the river of Time, the sad procession of human generations is marching slowly to the grave; in the quiet country of the Past, the march is ended, the tired wanderers rest, and the weeping is hushed.*


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## pharmakos

just saw this... a letter from the person who got Tim's liver after he died.


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## cj

^^^
That's amazing. Dexter changing lives even after he leaves what a guy!


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## chinky

TNW..thats awesome, thanks for the post


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## lolwhatzdrugs

Fucking awesome. Glad his liver was still kickin and someone lives in spite of his tragic death! In death there still is life 


Man that letter is just so amazing.... I know someone got my fathers corneas after he passed, I wish I could get such a letter.

BTW everyone should make sure they are an organ donor. I am, make sure you have that little heart on your license. You could die in a car accident or who knows what not just from drugs, and you could completely save someones life. There is no reason not to be one. 

Tim is just more amazing that he was one, and gave this family their husband and father back.


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## captainballs

See you soon, Dex.


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## pharmakos

i call dibs on the RIP captainballs thread

plz captain set up an automated script that will PM me the moment your heart stops


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## lolwhatzdrugs

geeeezzzeee you guys


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## StaffWriter

Oh fuck, I just came across this today. I don't visit BL as much as I used to, but like someone else said before, he seemed indestructible. Fuckin' great guy and I'm so proud that in his death, he gave new hope and life to another human being. There is a lot to be said about that. Dammit, man. Still want him back.....RIP. Prayers to the family.


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## bingey

Shit missed this. Every year there is a internet friend who dies too young. RIP dextermeth.


I assumed he died off of benzo withdrawal but seeing his last post one of those MDPV-style RC's seems more likely , a lot of hardcore (heroin users) consider them as half-drugs not worth mentioning because they are so available , let's not forget messing with untested compounds is just as if not more dangerous than traditional hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine.



> Nah you should be thanking erich, and a joke you made about wheelchairs looking for shoes, and my lack of sleep for almost 3 days, binging on weird low-tier shit to binge on, yet am really enjoying it..
> 
> Although the aniracetam is uniquie in it's own right. totally forgot how it can be when you find the sweet spot. Btw. piracetam can abort and kill off your MXE/MXP trips if you need that to happen. I am going to delete this in a second mods. Sorry.



his last post


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## modelskinny

Something today has me thinking of you. We'd chat on TC for hours and you'd thank me for "setting the mood", by overloading you with youtube links of songs I was obsessed with. I'll never forget you thanking me for being genuine with you and appreciating you for who you were. You just wanted to be heard. I hope you're dancing hard up there...


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## Boupstarnm

For fucks sake man.

He was an old head. I always remember his avatar and witty posts. He was a regular way back when I found bluelight in 2003. I always envied his post count.

Maybe it makes me a dick but when some of the regulars pass away it really hurts me more so than the not so regulars.

I never really had an exchanges with him but when a staple of the board passes away not much one can do bit light up a cigarette and think about how lucky we are.

It's people like DexterMeth that make this board what it is. Those regulars that just keep posting, no matter if the question has been asked 100x they always chime in and their personality shines through. It keeps bluelight a place where people can turn to no matter how silly their bullshit is.

Stay strong all you old heads out there.

RIP Tim

-DaNkStErSaUcE


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## Znegative

WHAT THE FUCK?!!! noooo, god damn, I'm scared to see who else died.


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## drunken_etard

RIP Dexter. I have not been on Bluelight in such a long time. When I was a very active member from about 2008-2012 I remember talking with him many times. I have since got clean and just out of curiosity decided to go back on here. I have epilepsy and have grand maul seizures like twice a year. I cant believe he died. Damn man that's unlucky. I feel so bad for him and his family. Last time I had a grand maul seizure i was in a coma for 5 days and they said id probably never wake up. I woke literally 20 mins after the Dr said that. i just realize how damn lucky I am to have lived.  Thank god I live in Canada and my Health Care is payed by taxes. Or else i probably would not be here.

RIP DEXTERMETH


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## marienbad

Aww man... R.I.P.

Dexter was everywhere, you couldn't avoid his posts and it was always a pleasure to read them. He gave me (and others) incredibly smart, helpful and well-written advice. He was a good guy.


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## modern buddha

Tim,

I'm not sure how much of me you might remember, but just know that I still miss you, man. It's already been two years and I can't believe it. 

You are a good guy. I'm sorry that you left us so soon. 

I hope you're having a good time, wherever you are now. I'm sure you're raising hell.


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## ninjadanslarbretabar

rip

seems like we werent close
but you did came back here n there
music, guitar, pavement

in thoughts or dreams
not sure why

revisiting tim


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## zephyr

Love you. Xxx


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## subotai

Dex was one of the funniest people on bl, still miss this dude 

RIP


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## likeakite

Life is so short, and for some people, much to short. Life is Love.


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## cj

Dexter is a fucking legend on this board. He will not be forgotten


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## MikeOekiM

i downloaded this onto my computer after dex posted it since vocaroo deletes stuff after a certain amount of time and i really liked it

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1qkjwxOi2kk


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## Captain.Heroin

rip my friend, still think about you every now and then


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## His Name Is Frank

Damn it, Dex. You were one of my favorite bluelighters. I hate that you're gone and I hope you've found the peace you've been looking for. I'll miss you for as long as I breathe, man. Rest in peace.


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## Serotonin101

Fucking hell man... I miss ya


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## Morninggloryseed

Cant wait to see ya.  Hopefully sooner vs later.


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## zephyr

Dex you were just too fun.


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## Morninggloryseed

He was a good man, someone who truly acted as a friend to me, even at a distance.  I am grateful to know his music and it still lives on at soundcloud.


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## Mysterier

Fuck, I miss ya, Tim.


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## zephyr

Dex 


Xx


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## quiet roar

R.I.P. Dex.


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## zephyr

Tim


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## The Network

Shit that's one of the few names I recognize around here, used to see him all the time when I was more active in the earlier years of my account. I remember him on tinychat all the time too.


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## zephyr

I found a picture you drew of how big your balls were compared to the earth in early fb days.


Miss ya mate.


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## yepyepwoah

I remember years back I posted a TR thread about ending up in the hospital cuz of drugs and shit. This guy posted a similiar story, I think he said he was running onto the highway on MXE trying to get hit. Said we were "garbageheads" lol, I'm pretty sure there was some positive stuff after that, I just always thought that was funny for some reason. 

RIPOWERRR


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## DrewDogBaby209

Hey what's crackin' D. Meth? I have never talked to you but I've seen your post many times... Rest in paradise brotha! So sad! Rip...


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## Jeanpauldash

I remember him. RIP.


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## Captain.Heroin

Jeanpauldash said:


> I remember him. RIP.



He died before this month, though.  Are you a long time lurker before you signed up?

He was an amazing guy, all around.  I wish I had spent more time talking with him while he was here.


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## Jeanpauldash

I was jeanpaul before but lost all that info. Don't get me in trouble.
I just got myself in trouble.


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## zephyr

Man you used to pass out mid phone call mid aim chat then just keep talking like nothing happened.

As with Jilly,  we had good times mate but wish I had have gone west first.


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## fairnymph

Too many deaths.   I'm so sorry I never responded to your last PM to me - but you have no reason to ask forgiveness of me, and never have. I hope you are happy & at peace. The world is poorer for your absence, especially your empathy & creativity.


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## Mysterier

That is so true, fairnymph. I miss this guy a lot.


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## soundsystem00

Still can't believe it. I remember our late night tiny chat cam convos where he was talking to me non stop. Damn.


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## ✿Dai₷y✿

n3ophy7e said:


> They just turned off his life support. I am gutted. Completely heartbroken. The world has lost a beautiful, truly unique person today.
> 
> Tim and I shared a once in a lifetime connection. We shared true love, and I am so grateful that I got to show him that.
> 
> Tim, I love you. I will always treasure the time we spent together. You made me see the value in myself, you always made me laugh, and you helped me through so much. Thank you for everything. I just wish I could talk to you one more time, to say goodbye. The last thing you said to me was "I'm so proud of you Rose." I will always make you proud Tim. You will always be in my heart




He is and will always be amongst us in spirit.


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## Xorkoth

Morninggloryseed said:


> He was a good man, someone who truly acted as a friend to me, even at a distance.  I am grateful to know his music and it still lives on at soundcloud.



Massive chills as I read this...

RIP Dexter and MGS


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## tamarinds

RIP DexterMeth. Thank you for being here and being helpful. I am sad so many of us have DIED


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## Mysterier

I miss you today, like all days since you passed on, Tim. Until we meet again.


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