# Self BLOWJOB & Self FUCK TUTORIAL



## Grigore

1. Self Blowjob

Exercises to gain the necessary mobility:






















First,you must stretch yourself in these positions every day for a week.
After a week,you will find out in which position you are the closest to your dick.
After that,you must stick with your chosen position and try to give your penis a lick.
If you don't yet succeed,remember,practice is all you need!

Also,put your hands behind your legs and push on them so you can force yourself a bit and get much closer to your cock.


2. Self Fuck

There are 2 important methods here.

1. Twist your balls so much that your dick is now under your balls and your balls are where your dick should be and stretch your cock towards your asshole as much you can until you will eventually reach it.
2. Find the gap between your balls and press your dick on that gap while getting closer and closer to your asshole by stretching your cock.

try both and see which one suits you the best and practice until you can do it.
you need to be semi-erect when you try it in order to be able to stretch your dick.



Position 2 consists in lying on your back,with your feet in the air.


~Advantages:

1.When you self fuck,you get 2 types of orgasm:dick orgasm and prostate orgasm(you can have multiple prostate orgasm)
Also,you can have those 2 orgasms simultaneous,from personal experience,there is no woman that can give you as much pleasure as YOU can give to yourself.
If having a normal orgasm is nice,a double orgasm makes you feel like you're in heaven.
2.You don't need to confront women and their problems,you don't need to listen to their bullshit anymore.
3.You don't need to pay a dinner for two,the only person you need to pay anything for is yourself.
4.You won't have anymore fights,you won't need to jack off when she's on her period.
5.You are free to do it whenever you want.
6.You don't need to look good,as long as you accept yourself and practice the exercises mentioned above,you can satisfy yourself whenever you want better than a women.
7.There is no more fear of rejection.
8.You can't break up with yourself.
9.You are much more independent and confident,you will no longer need to beg and please everyone else to receive what you want.
10.Doing this involves much less work than the work and social skills that are involved in making a woman fall in love.

Just think about this,think for a minute so you will become conscious of the incredible advantages.
If all men knew about this,we would need women only occasionally.


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## stormcharger

Why don't you just get other people to do it for you ie get laid
Seems like a lot less work than this shit lmao


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## PowerFarts

I gotta get serious about this.


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## Grigore

stormcharger said:


> Why don't you just get other people to do it for you ie get laid
> Seems like a lot less work than this shit lmao



You can do this whenever you want,you don't need anyone else,you just need yourself,you don't need someone else to be in the mood to do it with/for you.
The work is totally worth it.
When you blow yourself/fuck yourself you get an intense feeling of satisfaction and independence.It also gives you confidence and it's an incredibly pleasant form of masturbation.
I don't think it's so easy to find a girlfriend that would blow you whenever you want,by trying the methods listed above,you can satisfy yourself whenever you want,without begging anyone.


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## BlueSaffron

Grigore said:


> I don't think it's so easy to find a girlfriend that would blow you whenever you want



au contraire.  we exist, you just gotta be worth it, and as interested in making her happy as you are in her making you happy.  If I'm really into a guy I'd pretty much never refuse him a blowjob.  But then, if I'm into him, I like doing it, so it's really not a chore.


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## Grigore

BlueSaffron said:


> au contraire.  we exist, you just gotta be worth it, and as interested in making her happy as you are in her making you happy.  If I'm really into a guy I'd pretty much never refuse him a blowjob.  But then, if I'm into him, I like doing it, so it's really not a chore.



compromises..compromises
you need to please others in order to be pleased by others
why not get out of that vicious cycle and get satisfaction from both worlds by doing it for yourself?

I tell you why,because most guys are afraid to try it or they think that self sucking and self fucking is gay.
Well,it's a form of masturbation and it's not gay.
If we judge it in this way,it's more bisexual than gay.


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## ComfortablyNumb95

excellent tutorial... will try it out as soon as I am back home :D


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## BlueSaffron

Grigore said:


> compromises..compromises
> you need to please others in order to be pleased by others
> why not get out of that vicious cycle and get satisfaction from both worlds by doing it for yourself?
> 
> I tell you why,because most guys are afraid to try it or they think that self sucking and self fucking is gay.
> Well,it's a form of masturbation and it's not gay.
> If we judge it in this way,it's more bisexual than gay.



I'm not judging it - if someone wants to do that, more power to them.  I can't imagine what it would be like to lick my own pussy... but tbh I don't think I'd like it very much, because I don't like 69ing. I can't concentrate on my own pleasure because I'm working on pleasuring him, and I feel like i can't pleasure him right because I'm too distracted by what he's doing to me  

But I guess I've never seen a healthy sexual relationship as a "vicious cycle".  And I much prefer sex with a partner to sex by myself.. just a personal preference.  But hay, if that's your thing, knock yourself out


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## 95Land

I assumed you were trolling, OP. I thought you had to have a rib removed to do that. There was a Marilyn Manson rumor, years ago....
I have "lax joints" and can pop/dislocate a bunch of my joints and am generally pretty, um, bendy.
However, attempting this doesn't hold appeal to me. I've got a girlfriend that takes pride from her skills and derives much pleasure/happiness from giving me oral. So I got that.
Self fucking? That can't be real.... I'm skeptical about the whole thing, honestly. I did happen to see your thread where you also claimed to be able to do the self bj thing..... Haha. IDK.


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## neversickanymore

PowerFarts said:


> I gotta get serious about this.


 +1 Im going to go all out as the thought of sucking my own dick is just to tempting.  I will sacrifice myself training as head that is not deepthroat is a fucking waste of time.  and am practicing on a vegetable as I type this.  You know but in all  seriousness it would be really weird to have my dick in my mouth.. Its kinda hard to imagine.. WHAT the hell is the point of sucking our own cock?


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## CaseFace

It's actually been scientifically proven that being pleasured by someone else is WAY more pleasurable than pleasuring your self - because your brain knows what your body is doing and knows it's your own hand, or in this case your own mouth. If your hand and your mouth are nowhere near your parts and your being pleasured, your brain experiences the sensations way more intensely. Hence why getting a real blow job > this , 100% of the time.


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## One Thousand Words

caseface99 said:


> It's actually been scientifically proven that being pleasured by someone else is WAY more pleasurable than pleasuring your self



I have never met a girl who could jerk me off better than I could wank. Then again I'd much prefer a substandard jerk off with access to a great set of tits so I guess it evens out.

No desire to suck myself off I'm afraid. Who would I get to clean my face up?


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## notfried

One Thousand Words said:


> I have never met a girl who could jerk me off better than I could wank. Then again I'd much prefer a substandard jerk off with access to a great set of tits so I guess it evens out.
> 
> No desire to suck myself off I'm afraid. Who would I get to clean my face up?


you would swallow. Can we get a girl tutorial of licking herself out please.


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## -=SS=-

Satan loves you.


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## neversickanymore

caseface99 said:


> It's actually been scientifically proven that being pleasured by someone else is WAY more pleasurable than pleasuring your self - because your brain knows what your body is doing



this makes sense cause when I jerked of with my left hand tonight I got a much better climax.. brain isn't used to the left.  Also where did they find all these people who suck and fuck themsefs to provide a big enough segment for a proper scientific study.. 



notfried said:


> you would swallow. Can we get a girl tutorial of licking herself out please.


  video version would be highly preferred


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## nuttynutskin

Grigore said:


> I tell you why,because most guys are afraid to try it or they think that self sucking and self fucking is gay.
> Well,it's a form of masturbation and it's not gay.
> If we judge it in this way,it's more bisexual than gay.



How the hell would it be bisexual unless you were a hermaphrodite or transgendered? Besides if you're bisexual you're still gay. lulz


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## Mr.Scagnattie

Looks like that shit might hurt and I might never get out of one of those positions if I try it.. Hah.

And... God, do I wish I didn't click on those nsfw tags nuttynutskin. Ha. Gross.


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## pofacedhoe

yeah no porn crap in here!

what you post in the lounge is up to you (and the discretion of moderators there) but any more pornographic images will result in the thread being closed


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## nuttynutskin

pofacedhoe said:


> yeah no porn crap in here!
> 
> what you post in the lounge is up to you (and the discretion of moderators there) but any more pornographic images will result in the thread being closed



Lol I don't post in the lounge, and in all fairness I put NSFW tags on what was posted. I think it was only a matter of time before someone posted something like that. I mean c'mon, the dude is talking about sucking his own dick and worse. Either way, you may want to go back and check out the link the op posted in his first post if porn isn't allowed...



I'm honestly surprised this thread survived this long. lol


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## Grigore

pofacedhoe said:


> yeah no porn crap in here!
> 
> what you post in the lounge is up to you (and the discretion of moderators there) but any more pornographic images will result in the thread being closed



I'm sorry for posting any pornographic images.
Those images posted are nothing but yoga poses.
Anyone who has trouble sucking/fucking himself,just post your question here and I will reply and help you. 


sorry for that link but it's nsfw,nobody is supposed to click on it if they don't want.
I won't post more of that anyway. :D


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## nuttynutskin

If I cum in my own mouth what is the chance that I can become pregnant? Does anyone know like the actual percentage?

Also am I at risk at possibly giving myself an oral std?


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## Grigore

nuttynutskin said:


> If I cum in my own mouth what is the chance that I can become pregnant? Does anyone know like the actual percentage?



You must be joking...


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## nuttynutskin

No I'm concerned because I saw some tv show about a man becoming pregnant. Should I wear a condom when I attempt autofellatio?


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## Grigore

How is that even possible?
only if he has both male and female organs..that MIGHT be possible.

I don't wear a condom when I do this and I do it for almost a decade.
And I'm not pregnant,lol.


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## PowerFarts

neversickanymore said:


> this makes sense cause when I jerked of with my left hand tonight I got a much better climax.. brain isn't used to the left.  Also where did they find all these people who suck and fuck themsefs to provide a big enough segment for a proper scientific study..


You must have a left handed mouse?


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## neversickanymore

nuttynutskin said:


> If I cum in my own mouth what is the chance that I can become pregnant? Does anyone know like the actual percentage?
> 
> Also am I at risk at possibly giving myself an oral std?


 In case you are serious yeah you can transfer viruses and other things from mouth to unit and from unit to mouth. Herpes is one.. and before someone tells me im full of shit on this I read more than one legitimate source saying that although this isn't that common that it does happen and yeah I know most mouth herpes is one strain and the ones that affect the reproductive organs or of a different strain but it is well documented that they can and will be able to be transferred both ways. 

Edit: that self fuck video was something else.. good lord the things people do. I wonder if there is a case where someone impregnated himself/herself.. that would be some genetic mess I bet.  "Although fertility is possible in true hermaphrodites (as of 2010 there have been at least 11 reported cases of fertility in true hermaphrodite humans in scientific literature),[2] there has yet to be a documented case where both gonadal tissues function; contrary to rumors of hermaphrodites being able to impregnate themselves." >source<




PowerFarts said:


> You must have a left handed mouse?


 huuh I never even identified this limitation.. but i think its to late.. Im rubbing lefty for awhile.. nothing like a little strange.



nuttynutskin said:


> I'm honestly surprised this thread survived this long. lol


 LOl, it either doomed or going to make best of bluelight.


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## pofacedhoe

nuttynutskin said:


> Lol I don't post in the lounge, and in all fairness I put NSFW tags on what was posted. I think it was only a matter of time before someone posted something like that. I mean c'mon, the dude is talking about sucking his own dick and worse. Either way, you may want to go back and check out the link the op posted in his first post if porn isn't allowed...
> 
> 
> 
> I'm honestly surprised this thread survived this long. lol



i appreciate the NSFW thing yet i dont care. no porn in SLR. simple. and yes i too am surprised its has survived this long BUT it is a form of sex and we tolerate a lot of things because this is a forum for open and frank sex talk

also if you are worried about getting pregnant as a man then use the search engine on google


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## Grigore

I see that everybody is talking around here.
Ain't 1 person interested in trying it instead of talking?
I'm trying to be helpful here,this is why I've made this thread and explained how I do it.
I hope someone will eventually try this..
or,is everyone afraid to try it?


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## PowerFarts

neversickanymore said:


> huuh I never even identified this limitation.. but i think its to late.. Im rubbing lefty for awhile.. nothing like a little strange.


Since the dawn of internet porn I have adapted my left hand to weild the rod, due to the common fact that a mouse is usually used by the right hand.

Let me put it this way, is your mouse always coated in lube then?


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## neversickanymore

@G.. I hope so to and then I hope they have the balls to post an account of their journey for the world to see.. 

Have you been able to do this, or are you trying to do this Grigore?



neversickanymore said:


> Have you been able to do this, or are you trying to do this Grigore?


 I dont generally use lube so there may be a little semen8) but no lube.


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## BlueSaffron

Why do you assume that people don't want to try it because they're "afraid"? Isn't that a bit judgemental?  I'll try lots of things but there's also other things that I'll never try, simply because I have no desire to.  Nothing to do with being afraid.

Why are you pushing this so hard?


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## PowerFarts

I am not afraid, in fact I am jealous of those who can.

The self fuck thing is a weird one, if it's too soft it won't go in, if too hard it won't bend.

Tried to get into the self suck thing, but my ADD brain drifted off topic.
(unlike this post which is now back on topic)


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## neversickanymore

im still deciding if im hot enough to put in all the pain and effort.. I can be a little picky sometimes... and then there is all the bullshit that comes with a relationship?? uggg i just dont know if it worth it.


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## Grigore

neversickanymore said:


> @G.. I hope so to and then I hope they have the balls to post an account of their journey for the world to see..
> 
> Have you been able to do this, or are you trying to do this Grigore?



As I mentioned before,I suck myself for almost a decade now.
And after few weeks of work that consisted in dick & balls twisting,stretching,anal lubing,searching for the best position,I am finally able to fuck myself and I'm SOOOOOO GLAD that I can do this!


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## One Thousand Words

notfried said:


> you would swallow.



Are you calling me a slut?



Grigore said:


> I see that everybody is talking around here.
> Ain't 1 person interested in trying it instead of talking?
> I'm trying to be helpful here,this is why I've made this thread and explained how I do it.
> I hope someone will eventually try this..
> or,is everyone afraid to try it?


I have a hot girlfriend who will suck my cock while I watch the cricket or drive a car. There is no way in hell I'd do a better job than her.

Besides I'm 40 yrs old, I think you are kidding yourself if you think I will ever become that flexible in a week or two


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## shimazu

cant even tell people to go fuck themselves anymore jesus christ


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## nuttynutskin

I'm not flexible enough, and even if I was I think I'll stick to having a woman do it for me... I'm too lazy. If you want to fuck your own ass and suck yourself off because you don't want to have to bear the agony of pleasing someone else then that's your business I guess. Just don't be surprised when most people aren't into it, and it's not because of fear it's because of disgust. lol But based on your other posts I'm starting to think you're really just a big troll.


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## neversickanymore

notfried said:


> you would swallow. Can we get a girl tutorial of licking herself out please.


 I really did run across this by accident.. but now it makes me wonder


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## Grigore

neversickanymore said:


> I really did run across this by accident.. but now it makes me wonder



On a scale from 1 to 10,I don't know how drunk she is.


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## Grigore

nuttynutskin said:


> I'm not flexible enough, and even if I was I think I'll stick to having a woman do it for me... I'm too lazy. If you want to fuck your own ass and suck yourself off because you don't want to have to bear the agony of pleasing someone else then that's your business I guess. Just don't be surprised when most people aren't into it, and it's not because of fear it's because of disgust. lol But based on your other posts I'm starting to think you're really just a big troll.


I love people like you,they make feel good about myself,whenever a blissful person like you thinks I'm a troll,I remember that my life doesn't depend on retarded assholes like you and I'm so grateful for that.


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## plmar

grigore said:
			
		

> As I mentioned before,I suck myself for almost a decade now.
> 
> you sound so frustrated,please,go fuck yourself and stop talking.



[QUOTE="shi]cant even tell people to go fuck themselves anymore jesus christ[/QUOTE]

_lol_


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## nuttynutskin

Grigore said:


> I love people like you,they make feel good about myself,whenever a blissful person like you thinks I'm a troll,I remember that my life doesn't depend on retarded assholes like you and I'm so grateful for that.



You have a cactus that you named that you jizz on and stick up your ass. I'll take being a retarded asshole any day over that.


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## pofacedhoe

this thread isn't yeilding much of use and its mostly being derailed post after post.

its simple. you can either suck your dick or you cant. some people can get a little bit more flexible but most cant. your lack of respect for each other is why i've closed it also


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## Noodle

Lounge thread is lounge.

Congratulations all.


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