# Excuse for Failing Grades



## cire113

I live with my parents and they cover my expenses Im 21 but still in college...

They said as long as im in school they will support me and they are extremely demanding...


I just failed last semester and im screwed up...


So what are some good excuses i can tell them besdies im a drug addict...


I Need some real good ones they are extremely demandindg and are gonna flip out..

I was gonna tell them i was just depressed and lonely all semester and to see a psychiatrist


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## protovack

^^^ 
That last part doesn't sound like an excuse, it sounds like the truth.  Maybe you should take your own advice?

I went through a phase like this when I was 19 and 20, and it was very difficult.  Now I'm 23 and I do well in school.  For me, I just needed time to sort out my priorities and figure out what the hell I was doing. 

The LAST thing I'd do is try to make up excuses just to placate your parents.  This isn't about your parents, it's about YOU.  If you do want to succeed in school, you need to find the inspiration inside yourself.


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## xena

don't makes excuses- that's just immature.  own up to your fuck ups, acknowledge them, promise to learn from them, and prove it by doing really well next semester.


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## LeoC

Well, I'm 20 and I dropped out of Uni of Tasmania about 8 months ago and got all my fees restituted because of a serious drug habit -- I had to back it up with a doctor's letter and proof I'd started seeing a psychologist, blah blah blah... I told my parents I was becoming suicidal (not an excuse, the truth actually) and the night before they flew down I drank a bottle of whiskey and ended up kicking a glass door in. I was kicking and screaming and weeping (from what I remember) because I cut my foot open real bad.

I have good memories there too -- me and a friend in the opposite room pretty much stank up our whole floor smoking pot, I had another friend whose nose was bleeding for like two weeks from all the coke and shit he snorted, I got punched in the nose, I nearly had a panic attack on an acid trip, I had Japanese and American girls in my room for my birthday party and I was SO HIGH, I stopped going to class and smoked pot all day for like a month... ah, cherished memories...

Anyway my point is, I did a lot of stupid shit and dropped out of University (and I went out with a bang -- actually more of a shatter) and I wasn't penalised for it because most ppl felt sorry for me, especially those in charge. I can go back there if I want, but my problem was getting motivated to actually work hard.

If I were you I wouldn't make up excuses for your parents even though I don't know them, and if you're an addict then that's not an excuse for fucking up, it's the truth. I would come clean and see if I could repeat the semester or year or just take a couple years off.


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## Nid Styles

I don’t have any. 3.9 GPA


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## VerbalTruist

cire113 said:


> I live with my parents and they cover my expenses Im 21 but still in college...
> 
> They said as long as im in school they will support me and they are extremely demanding...
> 
> 
> I just failed last semester and im screwed up...
> 
> 
> So what are some good excuses i can tell them besdies im a drug addict...
> 
> 
> I Need some real good ones they are extremely demandindg and are gonna flip out..
> 
> I was gonna tell them i was just depressed and lonely all semester and to see a psychiatrist


Take a term off and get yourself together. I chose to fail out the first time throygh and it really fucked my life plan up.


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## Skorpio

I've seen people death spiral due to the anxiety of being far behind causing them to miss classes due to the classes being an excruciating reminder of their own failure. 

Honestly at this point best thing is a reset. Take some time off, get out of your envinronment, and work on your mental health. Telling your parents shit is never going to be as helpful to either of you as actually showing them you mean business by changing the factors that led to you getting bad grades.


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## December Flower

VerbalTruist said:


> Take a term off and get yourself together. I chose to fail out the first time throygh and it really fucked my life plan up.


they will do that 17 years ago


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## VerbalTruist

December Flower said:


> they will do that 17 years ago


Exactly, they should do it now before it goes really sideways.


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## December Flower

VerbalTruist said:


> Exactly, they should do it now before it goes really sideways.


no i mean the thread is 17 years old

good general advice though


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## mtu mwendawazimu

Skorpio said:


> I've seen people death spiral due to the anxiety of being far behind causing them to miss classes due to the classes being an excruciating reminder of their own failure.



There are many suicides due to pressure in school.

I never fully understood how one could feel that bad from trying to reach a standard set by someone else in a subject that they naturally struggle with.

If only I pass this class, I become incredibly wealthy and money will never be an issue. If I fail, well, I fail.

It's sad to me that the pressure is so high on some people. I wish we could listen to some Rage Against The Machine


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## VerbalTruist

December Flower said:


> no i mean the thread is 17 years old
> 
> good general advice though


Holy fuck! I feel so old. Hope it turned out for OP. Who bumps stuff like this?


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## Jabberwocky

mtu mwendawazimu said:


> There are many suicides due to pressure in school.
> 
> I never fully understood how one could feel that bad from trying to reach a standard set by someone else in a subject that they naturally struggle with.
> 
> If only I pass this class, I become incredibly wealthy and money will never be an issue. If I fail, well, I fail.
> 
> It's sad to me that the pressure is so high on some people. I wish we could listen to some Rage Against The Machine



If you fail you fail is a good attitude to have in my opinion. As long as you fail forward, meaning actually realising why you failed, learn from those mistakes/bad luck/circumstances and use them to your advantage as you progress. 

Everyone fails at something, but the people that sit back and don't take failing as a GOOD thing need to look more deeply into this. 

I honestly take failing as a good thing.


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## mtu mwendawazimu

Throwdown said:


> If you fail you fail is a good attitude to have in my opinion. As long as you fail forward, meaning actually realising why you failed, learn from those mistakes/bad luck/circumstances and use them to your advantage as you progress.
> 
> Everyone fails at something, but the people that sit back and don't take failing as a GOOD thing need to look more deeply into this.
> 
> I honestly take failing as a good thing.



It's absolutely necessary and totally normal, for improving or even realizing the task at hand isn't interesting to you

Failed math, get back on the horse, you'll need this skill later.

Failed enjoying tofu, fuck it, there's so many other delicious foods and I personally do not see it as a big deal


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## Jabberwocky

mtu mwendawazimu said:


> It's absolutely necessary and totally normal, for improving or even realizing the task at hand isn't interesting to you
> 
> Failed math, get back on the horse, you'll need this skill later.
> 
> Failed enjoying tofu, fuck it, there's so many other delicious foods and I personally do not see it as a big deal



I agree if you've put in your 100% all and tried many times e.f tried eating tofu 30 times and still hate it. I ave this with olives, I've tried them about 100 times, still hate them.

But it's not always the case. Failing at something might not necessarily mean you don't like it, it might just mean you were unprepared, have other personal shit going on. So for me personally if I fail at something be it a certification, or simply something to do with my business, I sit back really think about why it didn't work and then use that analysis to make sure I don't fail at it again OR even try it again OR adapt the way I do it etc. 

But you might sick back after failing math for example and realise it's because you have 0 passion for it. But because you've actually willingly thought about it, you don't feel like you failed and are stupid or something, you just know the fact you don't like it and move on to something else. 

It's the awareness part that people don't realise is so important. Most people fail an exam or something and get upset, angry depressed etc but never take the time to asses why it happened.


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## Xorkoth

Even though this thread is 17 years old, it's still a useful topic for people to come across.  I agree with the general sentiment in the replies... you need to be honest with your parents, and more importantly, yourself. Take some time off, own up to the problems, face them, and work through them.  School will always be there when you've got your head together.  College can be an amazing time, but I really think that you need to have a plan for it and know what you want out of it (what your major will be, and what you want to do with your life/career afterwards).  Otherwise, it's a heap of debt for a Sociology degree you won't ever use.  Or something like that.



Throwdown said:


> I ave this with olives, I've tried them about 100 times, still hate them.



Me too!  People tell me I'm crazy, but I just don't like how they taste.  I have overcome almost all of my childhood food aversions and realized those things are actually good or at least okay... but olives, nope.


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## Joey

This guy's kid is about to be failing college now.

I think if I was in this situation I'd be reevaluating my entire stay in college / uni. I did enroll in uni for comsci, then business admin in 2020 and 2021. Luckily my enrollment was cheap or else I'd be really sad right now. I dropped 3 times in a row. Not planning on attending uni online anymore until my life is more stable for the long term.


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## 6am-64-14m

mine was not an excuse it was just plain fucking boredom.


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## lolis my thesis

I was struggling with UCSB in california; 1986-1992.
Never went to class; too busy doing drugs, drugs, drugs.  Or surfing or drinking or chasing girls.
Took a $500 emergency student loan one quarter;  Bought a beat up VW Bus with it; dropped out to get straight Fs on quarter; and drove it to Mexico.
When my van broke down; I called them to explain I wasn't taking no finals; rather I needed money; and a ride home from Tuscon, AZ.

My friend begged the dean to let me back in to finish my degree; my parents coughed up again; and after 6 years I had a sociology degree!  And a 2.0 GPA.
So don't feel so bad.  Showing up to class for the first time and it's the midterm, yikes.
Oh yeah stole $5000 tuition money from them and put it up my nose.

Went back 10 years later to get a teaching license; on my own dime....Got straight As, Lol.

If you are going due to someone else's expectations; it may take awhile!


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## Joey

lolis my thesis said:


> .Oh yeah stole $5000 tuition money from them and put it up my nose.


I love the clubs in college and university cities here in Ontario.. *OSAP Money Accepted!*

On stimulants at parties money!!

Oh my God. When I was 21-22 ish I was running with a crowd of college partiers on the regular. _As someone who wasn't enrolled but hey now let's drink right!? _Anyway even *then* I thought these ads were retarded! I never really _got _the $150 bottle of VIP mouthwash and another $250 on a ball of coke to line up on the back of a club toilet being *cool.*


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## DeathIndustrial88

Is it possible to have a form of ADHD/ADD without being the typical "hyperactive kid" stereotype?


Through 7th grade - 10th grade, I took straight F's in every class because I could not pay attention. I would daydream & couldn't snap out of it.
I repeated 8th grade twice. Some times I participated in science & art cause I actually liked those subjects.
Eventually I got my license & then dropped out altogether.
I taught myself basic pharmacology over the years, so it's not because I'm "stupid".
If it's a topic I'm passionate about or interested in, I can somewhat get into it & learn & retain information. 
But if it's a topic I don't care for (which is many when it comes to academics), it's just almost impossible for me to retain it. 
I can read a couple pages of a book & then immediately forget anything and everything I just read.
Psychiatric testing showed I had a pretty high IQ for some one who didn't even finish highschool.

This inability to concentrate has carried over heavily into adulthood, but I've never been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD or anything.
And I wasn't the typical "can't sit still" type of teenager. I was actually pretty damn slow in my reaction time & what not.
Of course, trying as an adult to get some one to look into whether or not you have an attention problem is going to look like drug seeking. Especially with "addiction" on my record.


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## lolis my thesis

My nephew has always had various moderate developmental disabilities; like he didn't sit up until 18 months; always been a trial for him and his mother, my sister, dealing with his various problems; mostly learning disabilities.
He always struggled in whatever school he was enrolled in, and no matter what, he was reluctant to do his academic work.  His step-dad was French, they despised each other, and the kid never learned any french while his sister became fluent.  People thought he was just hopeless, stupid.  He graduated high school but barely.  He wouldn't have, except finally he found an interest that was his and not force fed to him.  theater; he was great at memorizing lines and such; but never could remember anything from doing his homework or studying whatever subject he wasn't interested in. 

He was diagnosed and medicated for ADD, but specifically, hyperactivity was not part of his diagnosis.


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## DeathIndustrial88

lolis my thesis said:


> My nephew has always had various moderate developmental disabilities; like he didn't sit up until 18 months; always been a trial for him and his mother, my sister, dealing with his various problems; mostly learning disabilities.
> He always struggled in whatever school he was enrolled in, and no matter what, he was reluctant to do his academic work.  His step-dad was French, they despised each other, and the kid never learned any french while his sister became fluent.  People thought he was just hopeless, stupid.  He graduated high school but barely.  He wouldn't have, except finally he found an interest that was his and not force fed to him.  theater; he was great at memorizing lines and such; but never could remember anything from doing his homework or studying whatever subject he wasn't interested in.
> 
> He was diagnosed and medicated for ADD, but specifically, hyperactivity was not part of his diagnosis.


Thanks for sharing!
Sounds similar to me. I don't recall having any development problems (although I wouldn't remember being that little anyway). In fact I might wanna say my family has told me I started walking slightly earlier than most kids, so I don't know for sure.
I got A's, B's & C's all through elementary school.

But when I was 5 years old, my mom married my stepdad. He was a freemason, religious & extremely abusive. So I dealt with him til I was about 12. And shortly after would have been when I  just stopped being able to pay attention in any classes.

I might see if I can get some kind of ADD testing & see if it could be part of my issues.


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## lolis my thesis

Yes development can be slowed by things other than what you were born with.  Being in an abusive environment may have been the trigger that started making your thoughts disorganized or being worried or scared of going home to an abusive step-dad maybe made school much more difficult.  And maybe underachievement was an aspiration of yours as a way to show your caregivers that they were fucking up raising you!  Just speculation, of course, I don't even begin to understand how or why things got difficult for you; but I can speak from my own experience.

Getting evaluated if possible, is probably a good idea; you may be given something to help organize and focus your thinking; if you feel like I do lately.  Which is scattered, discombobulated and foggy.  My psychiatrist said that I should be on a stimulant, but is hesitant to prescribe as I am already on benzos and opioids, so she is reluctant to give out a stimulant before I finish my benzo taper.  Ive never had a stimulant except meth or coke; which I definitely did not dose in a reasonable fashion as to address my own ADD/OCD!


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## DeathIndustrial88

lolis my thesis said:


> Yes development can be slowed by things other than what you were born with.  Being in an abusive environment may have been the trigger that started making your thoughts disorganized or being worried or scared of going home to an abusive step-dad maybe made school much more difficult.  And maybe underachievement was an aspiration of yours as a way to show your caregivers that they were fucking up raising you!  Just speculation, of course, I don't even begin to understand how or why things got difficult for you; but I can speak from my own experience.
> 
> Getting evaluated if possible, is probably a good idea; you may be given something to help organize and focus your thinking; if you feel like I do lately.  Which is scattered, discombobulated and foggy.  My psychiatrist said that I should be on a stimulant, but is hesitant to prescribe as I am already on benzos and opioids, so she is reluctant to give out a stimulant before I finish my benzo taper.  Ive never had a stimulant except meth or coke; which I definitely did not dose in a reasonable fashion as to address my own ADD/OCD!


Thank you for sharing that perspective. 
You know, when I was in my 20's, I would some times hold resentment toward my mom for letting my step dad do that to me. And the fact that she never tried to get me any mental help.
Hell,  my mom didn't even know I was gay til I flat out told her when I was 18.
She had no clue. lol I remember saying to her "mom, why do you think all my friends were girls". lol She said she thought it was cause I was a ladies man. lol Which shows how detached from me & who I was, she really was. Everyone else already knew I was gay.
But now I can look back & see that my mom gave up a career & moved states for that man.. She also ended up relying on his social security & income to keep us afloat. And for that, I can understand and forgive her. My mom had extreme panic and obsessive worrying & depression which affected her ability to hold jobs (gee wonder where I get it lol) She made it up to me big time later in life tho, by giving me absolute freedom & keeping a roof over my head til I was 32 lol I have no doubt it impacted my development. I don't consciously think about that trauama a lot anymore, and my mom was a very anxious, depressed & broken woman. Obviously mental illness ran in our family & a combo of that and my upbringing really threw me a shitty hand.
I don't even really like stimulants either honestly. They feel unnatural, forced & then I get paranoid & scatter brained when they wear off. Ironically they never really gave me energy or motivation, just made it easier to stay awake. Opioids have always given me a very clean, natural-feeling motivation to go move my body & take care of things I put off. But of course, no doctor is gonna give them to me for that reason unfortunately.


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## lolis my thesis

We are all products of circumstances of our upbringing; and are very likely to repeat the behaviors that were modeled for us growing up.  My parents were distant; not nurturing or cuddly.  I had a nanny and wasn't breastfed.  Love seemed to be given conditionally.  Raised in the stern fashion that they were themselves. They didn't know else to do it! Now I have a hard time forming intimate connections.  Which, in turn, I have passed on to my own kids.  

A kid who is abused, may feel angry and in turn don't know how to react when raising their own, and repeat the cycle.  Kids of smokers, smoke.  Kids of alcoholics, drink.  Monkey see, monkey do.  Even though we may be dead set not to repeat; behavioral determinism seems real to me.  Then there is also a strong genetic tendency towards exhibiting similar traits inherited from our bio parents. 

Nature, nurture both play a role in our development.  "The apple doesn't roll far from the tree!"  My ex-wife, she wanted to be nothing at all like her mother, so she moved away at 18, and married me at 21.  But twenty years later, guess what?  She became very much like her own mother, who had also divorced at age 40.  Kids of divorce are more likely to become divorced themselves.  I'm not saying my parents should have stayed together, but they did, like their parents before them; so that was the relationship model I was more inclined to repeat, unlike my ex wifes.

A bit of a curse to be able to think about it, come to think about it!


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## Opi_Kid_Rock

What College/University subjects and fields are you most interested in or suit your strengths and temperament?  Are you more suited to building things like trades school?
    Most people will change careers more than once in their lifetimes; as the world changes fast. Ultimately, I don’t believe that we choose what we do, but our work chooses us in some sense.


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