# Why don't I cum from blowjobs?



## QuasiModo

So I just got a really good bj. I was stoked. The whole time I was trying to get myself to cum but I didn't. I really like bj's but I can't remember ever having ejaculated from one. I masturbated yesterday, could it be that I just didn't have much of a load? How can I go about ejaculating from a bj? And inb4 she's doing it wrong; she's been giving me the best head I've had in my entire life.


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## Pegasus

Not being able to really thrust kinda makes it difficult.  I view fellatio as more of a foreplay act than anything though.  It is a foreplay act when other animals do it, such as bats.


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## Blanch

your not alone, i can bust one when I'm getting head but i have ton concentrate.Pegasus is right most of the time its just foreplay to me, I enjoy it but after a few minuets i find myself muttering "god i just want to fuck you"


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## RobotRipping

I never used to either. Then i went into severe benzo withdrawal and could cum with no problem. Back on benzos now, impossible to cum.


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## Johnny1

How about when you're ready to cum, jack off into her mouth or elsewhere on her body?  Then you'll have control over your orgasm.


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## queenbee1127

Blanch said:


> I enjoy it but after a few minuets i find myself muttering "god i just want to fuck you"



My boyfriend is the exact same way; he enjoys blowjobs, but he would much rather just have sex. 
He's told me he doesn't think he has ever cum from a blowjob alone, so you're not alone, OP.


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## PriestTheyCalledHim

Not every guy can ejaculate from getting oral sex.

I've never been able to at all. 

I've had some of the best blowjobs ever from men who know what they're doing, who know what it's like to have a penis, and how to give some of the best blowjobs ever since they've had years and decades of practice.

This is a good thing OP since then you can have the other person suck on your cock for hours or even days! 

Some of the men I've been with love to suck cock for so long that they can't close their mouths and that's hot dedication!

No I don't PNP at all but I do enjoy having sex with a male partner for that long without cumming if we have that much time to enjoy each other.

Fellatio or fellating someone is not "foreplay" even if some heterosexuals want to pretend that it somehow isn't actual real sex just because a penis isn't going into a vagina or a gaping anus.


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## alasdairm

^ if foreplay is defined as "_erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse _" then fellatio can certainly be foreplay.

alasdair


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## llama112

My bf can't finish from blow jobs either.  He's been with quite a few females before and said only once he's been able to and that was cuz he was really high or something, I dunno, apparently on something that makes you cum?  I dunno.  Anyway, he says I give the best head he's ever had before, he says it's amazing but he can't finish from it.  Oh well, then we can have sex after, so I don't mind .
He says he probably would be able to if he was watching porn or something, so we will try that sometime.


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## tender lamb shank

I have never finished from a bj either. In fact I would go so far as to say I could live without them


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## morpher001

tender lamb shank said:


> I have never finished from a bj either. In fact I would go so far as to say I could live without them


I feel kinda ripped off by it, but I concur.


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## moonyham

I can, but only from atleast a little bit of face fucking. Without thrusting/fucking, i cant cum really. I dont think ive ever had a blowjob that was just me lying back that ended in me cumming, i always have had to get some hip action going on.

I love to cum in a girls mouth though, its the best


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## PriestTheyCalledHim

alasdairm said:


> ^ if foreplay is defined as "_erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse _" then fellatio can certainly be foreplay.
> 
> alasdair



OK Bill Clinton. 

Why can't it all just be sex?


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## morpher001

PriestTheyCalledHim said:


> OK Bill Clinton.
> 
> Why can't it all just be sex?



Sex: The physical expression of love between a man, woman and cigar.


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## _mistresspoppy_

llama112 said:


> He says he probably would be able to if he was watching porn or something, so we will try that sometime.


 my boyfriend sometimes gets annoyed because my head is blocking his view :-/ i suggested he could jerk it himself if he'd prefer. He doesn't come from my sucking, though he moans like it's the greatest thing ever, mostly to keep me from losing interest I think. Sometimes he'll jack off in my mouth, but I'd rather it be on my body so HE has to lick it up, not me. I enjoy giving them, as long as the guy doesn't pull my hair/ head when I'm doing it. Us girls have to breathe too, you know!


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## DJW

I have had difficulties doing it, in fact the only time I've ever cum from one was from half bj/half hj and the hand was the grand finale lol...


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## -Kitten

Oh woooow. I didn't know so many guys can't cum from a blowjob.... every guy I ever done that with has came...


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## RobotRipping

^ maybe you're that good. Can i enlist you for services? or challenge you for that matter?


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## chopped_chimp

^ haha!  I'm in the same boat and when the subject came up with different girls over the years most would offer to take up the challenge!  

Having a long term girlfriend now I still haven't been able to but no harm in practising!


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## -Kitten

RobotRipping said:


> ^ maybe you're that good. Can i enlist you for services? or challenge you for that matter?



Challenge accepted.


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## IceGecko

its somewhat rare i can climax from oral, especially if i dont feel comfortable getting some thrusting in...

try not to let it bother you too much, its still the most awesome feeling in the world, great foreplay or even right up to the event and cum (harhar) up with creative ways to finish (him) off, or get him right up to breaking point then take him in your mouth...

lots of great bjs involve lots of hand and boob action, im a big fan of titfucking give that a shot. dirty talk spitting to keep it nicely lubed all that pornstar kinky sexy slutty stuff, say you want it etc. cause its half in his head (hard to keep track of who im talking to, the guy or girl lol)

 i saw a video once (have to do this one day) of a girl just rubbing her clit forward and back on the penis (she did this to finish him off too) , straddling the guy while he was on his back, and using her hands too, was really hot.

ive had a couple of awesome bjs recently and both just seemed so determined, like they did 1000 push ups a day...it can take a bit of action to get things frothing, think of how hard he fucks in the lead up to his cumming...

be creative enjoy it, dont stress too much about what works or doesnt for you. guys remember its often takes a bit of work to get her off the same way!

here endeth icegeckos sex ed class *P

in australia we do it upside down


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## attempt4

As enjoyable as blowjobs are, I've never ejaculated from one either. I put it down to the lack of physical, exerting, strenuous thrusting. Though enjoyable they may be, I can't shoot my load with them really. They will get me kinda close, but nowhere near enough to actually cum.

Like has been said, just use it as a prerequisite for sex, eg. a form of foreplay before she finishes you off with a handjob.


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## Oats

_mistresspoppy_ said:


> my boyfriend sometimes gets annoyed because my head is blocking his view :-/ i suggested he could jerk it himself if he'd prefer. He doesn't come from my sucking, though he moans like it's the greatest thing ever, mostly to keep me from losing interest I think. Sometimes he'll jack off in my mouth, but I'd rather it be on my body so HE has to lick it up, not me. I enjoy giving them, as long as the guy doesn't pull my hair/ head when I'm doing it. Us girls have to breathe too, you know!



^fucking agreed! i hate it when my boyfriend gets into it, like him groaning i think its hot i also think he does it to keep my going..whichi is cool[: but yes guys dont pull our heads closer to your dick than it already is..its itrritating and i cant suck your dick like that.


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## Mysterier

Good god, I had always had this _problem_ - until recently, my girlfriend has been on her fucking game. She made me cum for the first time ever close to a year ago and then not again for a really long time. The past couple of times she has given me mouth love, I came in under two minutes. Insane! 

Alas, there is hope. I'm 26 years old and it's taken 10 years to get the right mouth on it. :D


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## mr.buffnstuff

dont sweat it mate, i couldnt come from a BJ off my ex, but i didnt worry bout it.... just need to find a girl whos better at it!


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## GenericMind

For years, actually for pretty much my whole life, I thought it was pretty much impossible for me to cum from blowjobs. It certainly wasn't due to a lack of trying from partners, I just _couldn't. get. off_. I assumed it was me because I thought the blowjobs I was getting were "good".

Until I met a chick that could get me off every single time with her mouth. She skipped all the fancy crap chicks do that is supposed to look sexy but doesn't really feel any different and got straight down to business. More importantly, she was willing to stick to it until the job was done.

For as much as most women like to think they're good at oral(I mean what guy ISN'T going to say they're good?), most of them aren't that great. When you find one that pays attention and learns what you like, you won't have any problem getting off from head.


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## lola

I find that for some guys, a bit of fingering/ bum teasing can go a long way... also, using the hand if this is someone who need a lot of pressure on his cock to come and not just the soft sensation of the mouth. Deep throating helps, though I can only do it for a few minutes before I need to breath, and as for sticking with it... had my lip bleeding a couple of times from being face fucked, but I just think it's hot  also, going really fast doesn't do it for everyone as the man can lose sensitivity eventually. 

But basically, some guys come really quickly from bjs, some don't and can take a lot of work, others like it as foreplay, some finish themselves off on my face... hell, who cares? As long as everyone is happy why are we so stuck on how/where/when we *should* come? If you and your gf get off and are keeping it varied and creative this is all that matters. And I'm with Priest here, heterosexuals do only seem to consider penetrative sex to be "sex", but one of my favourite things about my heterosexual relationship is that sometimes one of us will give the other oral or we'll get each other off without penetration, just so it's not the same thing every night. It feels very intimate and special to be able to concentrate fully on pleasuring the other person, and I'd hardly say we've had an evening of foreplay or not had sex just because there was no penetration! And for the OP - the more you worry about it, the less it's likely to happen... just take the pressure off and enjoy the sensations.


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## IceGecko

girls PLEASE try prostate massage! remind him its not gay cause your a girl DUH!

http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy-....,cf.osb&fp=73042cab28be1b6a&biw=1336&bih=680

I reccomend these...
starters... http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001IV5IJI
main course... http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002JINW24


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## pofacedhoe

GenericMind said:


> For years, actually for pretty much my whole life, I thought it was pretty much impossible for me to cum from blowjobs. It certainly wasn't due to a lack of trying from partners, I just _couldn't. get. off_. I assumed it was me because I thought the blowjobs I was getting were "good".
> 
> Until I met a chick that could get me off every single time with her mouth. She skipped all the fancy crap chicks do that is supposed to look sexy but doesn't really feel any different and got straight down to business. More importantly, she was willing to stick to it until the job was done.
> 
> For as much as most women like to think they're good at oral(I mean what guy ISN'T going to say they're good?), most of them aren't that great. When you find one that pays attention and learns what you like, you won't have any problem getting off from head.



exactly- making a man cum from a blowjob is a combination of skill and perseverance. as a man who has had men blow him and blown men its all about finding the right spot and working it continuously. on uncircumcised men this is the banjo string, but dont forget to gently wank the man as you are sucking/stroking with your tongue the banjo string. if someone does this to you for long enough with the right use of pressure, you will come.


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## rm-rf

yeah im kind of like genericmind - ive had women go down on me my whole life and never came from it. i dated one girl (incredibly stacked african vixen) who was a dom instructor, blowjob instructor, stripper teacher, porn instructor - and you wouldnt believe the talent she had with her tounge and lips. she loved unleashing her sexual energy more than anything else in life, and loved mesmerizing a man with it. couldnt ever make me cum from sucking me off tho!

ive had a few 3 way experiences where i was damned determined to cum from getting head, also to no avail. i pretty must assumed a lot of things - that i was someone who had to be in control of the situation to orgasm, and thats why i couldnt get off from head. maybe also i was less sensitive than normal men or something, and thats why (cuz up until then, i could only cum fully from semi-rough sex, i could fuck indefinitely at more relaxed paces). maybe my mind was too wound up or excited, not sure, all i knew was that it was impossible to cum from head. that actually makes for excellent conversation too, i typically date more hedonistic types so talking about sex with total strangers isnt weird, and it really surprised me how many women out there see it as a challenge, and want to BE the one. so many girls are like, "oh thats cuz you never had me!" and are determined to be the one to make me cum. 100% failure on all fronts. 

i really dont care about jerking off into a woman's mouth. its very pornstar-ish (most porn behavior i find strange and unnatural). im not saying ive never done it , just saying its no replacement for laying back, hacking no control over how anything feels, and just letting a load out softly.

so yeah, then i met the love of my life. the first night we had sex, we were fucking like crazy and the condom broke. without saying a word she just dove down on me and sucked my dick. i figured id give her like 5-10 mins before i explained that it was impossible to make me cum that way, and that i diddnt mind if the night ended without me getting off. i diddnt last that long . she made me cum in like, 2, maybe 3 mins. it was pretty mindblowing, no pun intended.

now i feel "free" from this prior condition of not being able to cum from oral. she can do it 100% of the time, and it isnt some sort of technical wizardry, its just a bond we have and shes also really fucking amazing at it and loves doing it (thats the most important thing - your partner being passionate about doing it, and real). i dont enjoy cumming from oral nearly as much as from sex, so i only ask for it once in a while. its a totally different feeling, feels way diff than cumming from penetrative sex. a lot of it may have to do with love, a lot of it may have to do with her allowing me to find out how to relax my self down there and just let it out.

so the new experiment is to see if other women can do this to me now. were playing with some other girls as of late, but thats sort of my job to satisfy them, and havent really had an opportunity to just lay back and let all the attention on me (also drugs are usually involved, i need to be sober or just stoned to get off from oral). weel see, but i have a feeling that my lover has unlocked a new dimension to sexual pleasure in my head, and now im free to just "let it go" when some warm lips relax me enough. 

seriously, just gotta chill out.


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## ninjadanslarbretabar

have you tried being in control ?
if you masturbate you are in control, 
if you fuck her face off like its your hand im pretty sure you should cum
but then you and-or her might have a problem with that
she might not be comfortable letting you use her throat like a toy
and you might feel like you are hurting or disrespecting her
but if you two find a way to be in tune with each other about whats happening as it is happening i think that there shouldnt be any reason why you shouldnt cum


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## IzGood

I never cum from blowjobs for years until with my mrs in the early days, one night, she just grabbed me and started doing it and doing it well. It's more in the brain than anything else, if you are relaxed, turned out and without any pressure to cum it'll happen eventually! If you keep trying to cum, it puts pressure on you too and it makes it harder / impossible.


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## oatmeal cookie

See, im the exact opposite.  Sometimes i cant cum from the actual sex part and only when i get a bj is when i come after we both get tired lol.  I mostly think this is because im usually on opana or some other strong opiate which kills my sex drive in the first place so im lucky to cum any when im on something like that.  

It can make for quite an embarassing situation if the girl youre dating has never had expierence with them. hahaha =)


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## Raz

It's actually really common for guys to not be able to cum from blow jobs.  I consider myself to be pretty fucking good at giving them, but a lot of the time even when they're loving it guys will still want to move on to doing something else.  I have had a few dudes who did cum tell me they don't normally, or that it was the first time for them, which is good for my ego, but also just goes to show that it's not unusual for blow jobs not to necessarily make a guy cum.


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## Jblazingphoenix100

if she gives the bet head ever, just ask her to step up the pace. and relax.

It takes a while to get off through justgetting head, from my experiences...are you circumcised, just out of interest?

Ask her to use her hands a bit too.


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## QuasiModo

Yep I am circumcised. I don't know, I get off just fine from pussy. I'm kinda over it, maybe one day I'll get off from a good doming. I've also recently sworn of masturbation forever. I think with increased jizz levels I'll have an easier time cumming from the dome. I don't really care either way anymore, its no big deal.


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## panic in paradise

... for the record im the same way :-\ its a challenge, but i accept that, and all its consequences.


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## Care

Yea it can take some time for me to get off from a BJ. I have to really concentrate, and it helps if I havent gotten off in 24+ hours although I can do it.. Honestly after a couple minutes of her giving me head it isn't long before i tell her that's enough and fuck her brains out.


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## Mohinjo_Daro

Like a few others have said, you are not alone. Oral sex just isnt my thing ._. I dont know why, i've gotten sum good head but it just never happened. Maybe i just couldnt get into it??? I usually engage in more than oral because i already know how its gonna end if I don't


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## QuasiModo

I came CLOSE to having came today lol.... Got some really bomb head. I had already ejaculated during sex earlier that morning so I was surprised how close I felt.. This girl seems determined, I have a feeling oneday I'm gonna cum from a blowjob.


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## greenmeanies

lola said:


> I find that for some guys, a bit of fingering/ bum teasing can go a long way... also, using the hand if this is someone who need a lot of pressure on his cock to come and not just the soft sensation of the mouth. Deep throating helps, though I can only do it for a few minutes before I need to breath, and as for sticking with it... had my lip bleeding a couple of times from being face fucked, but I just think it's hot  also, going really fast doesn't do it for everyone as the man can lose sensitivity eventually.



This. When you're masturbating or fucking, usually there is a lot of pressure being placed on the shaft, which pulses blood in and out of the inner organs (prostate and etc) which is where the actual orgasm reflex is for most men.

Personally I could rub my cockhead all day and not cum, but if i put just a little pressure under my balls and SQUIRT~

Next time she's working your knob with her tongue, tell her to massage your balls and shaft through the ballsack. That's a guaranteed volcano for me.


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## QuasiModo

greenmeanies said:


> Next time she's working your knob with her tongue, tell her to massage your balls and shaft through the ballsack. That's a guaranteed volcano for me.



I will be trying this.. Or having it tried on me, rather. +1


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## Care

Grabbing her head and "mouthfucking" her is also pretty hot, usually gets me there. Best done when she is on her knees and you are standing.


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## MyFinalRest

Care said:


> Grabbing her head and "mouthfucking" her is also pretty hot, usually gets me there. Best done when she is on her knees and you are standing.


Geez, I used to think Care was a nice guy...I guess his username is really pronounced "carr-ay" which is Spanish for "MouthRapist."

*NSFW*: 








All you ladies out there who prefer a man who really "cares"...
*NSFW*: 



*TELL HIM TO GO FUCK HIMSELF!!!*


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## Bilbs

I used to not be able to cum from a BJ but then me and my girlfriend changed it up. Get her to give you a handjob at the same time as oral, try standing up while she is on her knees and gently thrust, dont get carried away - you don't want to hurt your girl or your dick. Also i find that after a lot of saliva builds up in her mouth and throat it's warmer and more slippery, that's when it starts to get good. Try different things basically, girls are only good if they have been taught, so teach.


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## Bstan1987D

I've got great head before I feel weird that I never cum from it I mean it feels great why is it that I need to have sex to cum


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