# Husband wants to watch me have sex with another guy



## Monique_B

Hi Everybody,

I am new to this forum and wanted to get some of your views on a dilemma I am in right now. My husband and I have a good marriage and have now been married just over 10 years. A couple of years ago he asked me about my ex-boyfriends and my past sex life. I didn't want to tell him about it with much detail, but the more we discussed it, the more turned on he got. He wanted to know all the naughty things I did and some of my best sex memories with past boyfriends. Since then, he has admitted to me that his biggest fantasy would be to watch me with with a man that I am very attracted to and that is better endowed than him. I love my husband, but I get jealous if my husband even notices an attractive woman! I will admit his fantasy is very hot for me as the thought of being wanted by another man (while my husband watches) is incredibly sexy. It's even got to the point where it is probably my biggest fantasy as well. 

Would really appreciate how others have dealt with this sort of fantasy? I have no idea why my husband would be so turned on by the idea of sharing me when it is completely one way!


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## alasdairm

things like this are rarely fully symmetrical. why's it so hard to understand why this is a big turn on for him when it's also your "_biggest fantasy as well_"?

alasdair


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## Monique_B

Probably because he has no interest in other women except for me. He tells me that he gets all of his sexual pleasure by my pleasure. That's why I think the fantasy is so hot and I have a hard time getting it out of my head.


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## ChipTrippyFox

Is it really so hard to believe that some people don't get jealous (stupid) when it comes to their partners? 

He is likely banking on the fact that even after you've gotten your vagina destroyed by another man, you'd still love and want your husband. 
He sounds like a very secure person. 

What's stopping you from attempt this? Are you afraid of something? You said that he is completely fine remaining monogamous to you, right?


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## Vados

Cuckolding is one of my biggest fetishes and turn ons. Like your husband, it doesn't mean I want other women. It means I want to see you get another man off. You should understand, this is far from a selfless act even if you're the only one that gets to fuck someone else. I'm sure he cares about your feelings about the matter as well, but this is for HIS pleasure. If you can get off with another man,  then even better! 

It sounds like the two of you are compatible to live out this fantasy. Just make sure there is little to no connection with the other man. The wrong emotion on your part can derail this situation real quick.


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## alasdairm

Monique_B said:


> Probably because he has no interest in other women except for me. He tells me that he gets all of his sexual pleasure by my pleasure. That's why I think the fantasy is so hot and I have a hard time getting it out of my head.


so he's into it. and you're into it.

why not do it?

alasdair


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## pokepoke420

I always had this fantasy with my X as well. I would do it if you guys are secure enough in the relationship. Like stated above, any emotion could potentially fuck everything up. Proceed with caution!


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## Clitnhawk

If you are secure in your relationship, give it a try.  A word of warning thou:
COMMUNICATE!   Make sure you both are aware of each others goals, desires and limits.   Also, make sure you have a code or node, whatever to stop.   There are websites with many such people who share stories, photos and videos.  I'd recommend you both watch some of the amateur videos.  One of the better (free) sites is sex.com   I only mention that one because there are so many sites that have far worse pop-ups and viruses.

Anyway, you both need to choose who, is it a friend, or just someone you know or a stranger? They all have their pros and cons.  You both agree on the guy, in the end - you have the final say so and can always say "no".

As people get older - swinging and open relationships are more common.  But also with some people in their 20s.    The rate in which people CHEAT is over 60% for both men and women.  Look at Ashly Madison's 38 million Christian cheaters!  So also keep an open mind that your husband can play with other women.

I've read horror stories of the 3rd guy being in the awkward situation when the husband has melt-down.  Like it was her idea, she choose the guy and her husband wasn't ready for it, or who knows.  Shit blows up and its time to leave.

So take it slow, after the first encounters - make sure you both go over what happened and how you feel about it.  That your love for each other is not in question.   You must have trust.

First time another woman kissed me, my wife was upset for valid reasons.   We both have agreements.  We've both also ended things when issues have come up.

Watching your loved one get fucked and cumming is hot.  You get to see it from afar that you don't get to see when you're both having intercourse with each other.   You may also learn new tricks and styles, I sure have.   Watching her reaction to how someone else eats her or other things showed me ways into incorporate it into my own style.

So do I like watching my wife have orgasms will riding another cock?  Yes.  After such swinger parties, we both tend to fuck like rabbits.   Look at your own example in your post.  





> " I will admit his fantasy is very hot for me as the thought of being wanted by another man (while my husband watches) is incredibly sexy. "


 YES IT IS.    Oh, and my wife now likes watching me fuck other women or gets upset if she got laid and I didn't, how sweet.   She likes having a woman go down on her, while I'm banging that woman from behind.  

There are all kinds of things you can do, but its up to you both to find out what works out for both of your mutually.  Such as, you have sex with another guy (OG), and he's not there to watch.  Or your husband just watches.  Or its a threesome and you are spit-roasted, or turns or DP.  Or maybe its two guys while your husband watches?  Or after other men do their thing, your husband licks you clean, etc.  Hell, there are posts for full out gangbangs with 5~20 guys.  Now, don't freak out.  Very few do gangbangs or work their way up to that, I haven't even thou I could in the past and see posts "guys needed to fuck my wife on Aug 22nd from 6~12 at the XYZ hotel" here and there.

I remember the first time we did a threesome with another guy, she gave me a look but didn't want to say anything.  So I said "oh shit, its late.  We gotta go."  I did tell the guy that it had nothing to do with him, which was true.  He did nothing wrong.  We were not ready to do something like that.   You've been together for 10 years so your husband will know if you have issues without saying a word, unless you have a ball gag of course.

What I see from many couples who do this, they tend to play with someone they know.   Many such people have such relationships that last decades.

Good Luck!


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## Kid Amine

ChipTrippyFox said:


> He is likely banking on the fact that even after you've gotten your vagina destroyed by another man, you'd still love and want your husband.



LMFAO! Thankfully I wasnt drinking when I read this, otherwise my laptop would be flooded now! 

on a serious note, I can say that it's not one way. at all. It's like when I go down on a woman w/o any reciprocity; some would say that's one way. hell no! *I* am the reason she got off so good she almost crushed my head with her thighs. By allowing you this, he gets to see you come hard. It's not only empowering, but voyeuristic as well, which is another turn on. 

If you do fulfill this, make sure the man you get is comfortable being watched by another man. Maybe your husband wants to learn what REALLY turns you on.


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## PriestTheyCalledHim

Maybe you should keep this just a fantasy between the two of you?

I don't think it's going to go that well in reality as you said how you do get jealous, and he might get jealous as well.

If you do decide to do this talk a lot about it, and set up some rules/boundaries, etc.  Good luck.


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## ChipTrippyFox

Kid Amine said:


> LMFAO! Thankfully I wasnt drinking when I read this, otherwise my laptop would be flooded now!



I'm glad to make someone smile


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## Monique_B

ChipTrippyFox said:


> What's stopping you from attempt this? Are you afraid of something? You said that he is completely fine remaining monogamous to you, right?



My husband likes the idea of the other man having a better body than him, and frankly, having a larger cock. I am afraid of hurting my relationship with my husband. What if the sex is so much better that I constantly want and fantasize about the other guy?


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## conscious-observed

Though sex is definitely a significant part of a relationship, I doubt your marriage stands on is sexual aspect... Love and sex are separate things, though there is surely a profound beauty in there communion. Cuckolding is hardly an uncommon practice, it's just not much spoken of publicly. If you and your husband are comfortable, go for it. If the sex complicates things in any way, take a step back together, and realize that you both understood the endeavor could invite complication, then move from there together. 

Everything will be alright. And its OK to have sex for fun!


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## Monique_B

So one thing I am learning here is that many men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. I am so shocked by this!! Can any women relate to how I feel? Am I a bad wife for wanting this? Any other women in my boat?


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## conscious-observed

I'm a gay man, so I can't relate in a way that would give you any consolation, but I would encourage you to do some reading on the topic. It's not a gender specific proclivity at all, but most sexual "tendencies" like this are more reported by men... but is that really surprising? lol. You aren't in a boat of your own, my friend. Don't judge yourself so harshly.


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## Clitnhawk

@Monique B: Its healthy and good that you both are doing research into this.  But I doubt it'll hurt your relationship.  Conscious-observed made a statement I agree with 100%.  You are both consenting to try something new.  Not cheating, not going behind someone's back, not using Ashley Madison.   And *THAT* is a turn on.  Its a sign of trust and love which makes it **SO HOT**.   Look at the high rate of cheating among serious relationships - upwards towards 70% for both sexes.

You've both been together for 10+ years.  A different penis / pussy is nice, its excitement.  He wants to watch.  He's not going anywhere.  So what if some other guy totally fucks your brains out?  Think that would really change how you feel about your husband?    Here is the thing: when a guy is fucking some other guy's woman - especially in the same room, HE is fucking to impress.  Its about sex, only sex.

You and your husband will totally fuck each others brains out afterwards.

A side note, as stated above that you don't have experience doing such a thing that the first time will be the most awkward.  You both are likely to feel that you're cheating on each other, or not respecting the other properly.   So make sure you both talk about your feelings, thoughts and turn-ons after doing it the first few times.  Expand from there.

Also, make sure you suck and or fuck your husband in front of the other guy.   If your husband is jerking off while you're being banged, remind him to save it for you or you'll have to wait for him to reload 

PS: There are obvious some women here who have experience with sex with two guys at once, there is a recent DP thread that had responses from about 4~6 women.   Also, both of you should look at threesome videos, hopefully the better quality ones, not just the crappy hardcore ones.


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## stovepipe

Monique_B said:


> So one thing I am learning here is that many men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. I am so shocked by this!! Can any women relate to how I feel? Am I a bad wife for wanting this? Any other women in my boat?



I'll say you're a bad wife.  Just the mere thought of my lady being pounded by another man upsets me.  I have no idea how people would want this, then be able to look at their partner the same.  Everyones different I guess.


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## Clitnhawk

Wow, someone who doesn't know you, calls you "bad".  I can think of other people who judge.  Duggars - you know the 19 and counting ex-TV show religious nut family.  Who are about "family values", no sex before marriage, no divorce, God hates gays and gay marriage, etc, etc.  Meanwhile one of their older sons (Josh?) raped some of the girls and is busted from having two Ashley Madison accounts as he cheats on his wife.   Look up Ted haggard, the ex-leader of the Evangelicals in the USA - meet GWBush several times to preach about "family values", father of 5, self righteous who got caught with a long-term man-lover and doing various drugs.

So talk to other women who do this.

Lets say its something that doesn't go well, someone gets jealous or you get turned off by the other guy.  You back out, you say no... or whatever.  You two talk about it as well as realize its something you don't really want to do, that it really is just a fantasy.


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## maxwell2

He is absolutely right Monique. I do not care to think about other women. The only thing I think about is hearing her get satisfied by a young stud! I don't think this can be put in words "helplessly" watching your wife get ravished by a younger man. All the while why she is seductively looking at me....what else could get me off more!! He means it Monique. No viagra needed with men like us. I hope you have fun!


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## nekointheclouds

alasdairm said:


> things like this are rarely fully symmetrical. why's it so hard to understand why this is a big turn on for him when it's also your "_biggest fantasy as well_"?
> 
> alasdair



Exactly, if you guys are happy in your marriage and the idea of the act turns you both on then I think you should def talk more about it happening as a real possibility and get it all out on the table to make sure you are both truly comfortable with doing it. And although this isnt something that would float my boat I do know that its a fairly common thing, just look at swingers and swingers clubs. There is a huge swinger subculture in america and in Europe I am sure, all couples who like to share their partners in different ways.


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## nekointheclouds

stovepipe said:


> I'll say you're a bad wife.  Just the mere thought of my lady being pounded by another man upsets me.  I have no idea how people would want this, then be able to look at their partner the same.  Everyones different I guess.



lol, but the fact that his husband thinks about it and is the first one to bring the subject up doesnt make him bad? Just because it is not your thing does not mean its not plentyyyyyy of other people's thing. And for those people it is quite easy for them to look at their partners again because they do not feel the same possessiveness and insecurities as you do.


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## Boku_

Has the OP consider hiring a male sex worker, Most sex workers of either gender are professionals' at what they do and it wouldn't be as emotional for the wife or husband.

On another note after reading this thread it made me realise how normal I am paying for sex off sex workers. If you ask me monogamy and also absentee from sex is not natural at all


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## nygiants1313

Im not jealous or insecure or possesive or anything of the sorts and i dont know one guy IRL who wants to see their girl fucked by another guy lol. every girl ive been with didnt even want other girls looking at me lol let alone wanting to watch me destroy their juicy sugar walls

This topic is so fascinating to me because its something ill prolly never understand ?

Happy swinging!!


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## nygiants1313

nekointheclouds said:


> lol, but the fact that his husband thinks about it and is the first one to bring the subject up doesnt make him bad? Just because it is not your thing does not mean its not plentyyyyyy of other people's thing. And for those people it is quite easy for them to look at their partners again because they do not feel the same possessiveness and insecurities as you do.



You know you were ok until you got to the point of calling the poster insecure, in turn judging them as they judged you. The fact some People enjoy this stuff doesnt make them "bad." The fact some people just aint into it doesnt make them insecure. 

Thought bluelight was one of the few places that existed not full of judgemental people. 

Leaving thread dissapointed


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## nekointheclouds

I understand someone not being understanding or unable to connect on a topic, but to call someone a "bad wife" because she is looking for advice on the subject which was originally her husbands idea speaks of a person's insecurities which they are obviously taking out on others. I think there are a lot worse things I could have called him than insecure, we are all insecure in some ways and its important to be aware of those insecurities because that is how one works towards understanding them and acceptance. Maybe I should have said mysogynistic since the person only judged the wife, not the husband.

I wasnt being the judgmental one here, I am defending someone from judgement, dude. The original poster shouldnt be accused of being a bad wife when her husband was th first person to bring the whole subject up. So maybe you should be more disappointed by the fact that stovepipe is going around judging people's marriages.


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## alasdairm

stovepipe said:


> I have no idea...


indeed.


stovepipe said:


> Everyones different I guess.


seems like you say this but you don't really understand it or believe it in practice.

alasdair


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## HappyBrowser

Monique_B said:


> So one thing I am learning here is that many men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. I am so shocked by this!! Can any women relate to how I feel? Am I a bad wife for wanting this? Any other women in my boat?



I'm also new here - having just registered to contribute my thoughts on this post.  My Wife & I are both 37, also very happily married (over 10 Years) & our sex life is pretty good!  I shocked my Wife just over 2.5 years ago by telling her the thought of watching her having great sex with another guy turns me on.  I was nervous to tell her & in the beginning I think she struggles to get her head around it.

Between then & now she has become not just 'comfortable' with the idea - but almost every time we have sex she is talking dirty to me about being fucked by a hot-guy with a big dick.  It has improved the quality of both of our sex lives tremendously.

I think to begin with she was worried I suggested this as a ploy to f**k another woman - but now she realises 2.5 years later i'm not remotely interested in doing that & the sexual turn-on for me is watching her have amazing sex.....then us having an amazing time together afterwards.

We haven't progressed beyond this point yet - so sounds as though we're in a similar position to you.  We have talked now about visiting a traditional 'Swingers' club - whilst we're not interested in partner-swapping, there are loads of single guys there who also go to do this.  Someone mentioned 'cuckolding' earlier & whilst there are lot of 'cuckolds' about - I prefer to view my Wife as a 'HotWife' - there is a clear difference.

My Wife has agreed to let me watch her f**k another guy - and in all honesty i'd arrange something immediately given the chance, but think going to a club will build her confidence.  Being chatted up - maybe just even having a kiss with someone else; could be our next step forward.  Of course I'd be jealous watching her - but that jealousy/voyeurism adds to the sexual excitement for me.  It certainly doesn't mean I love my Wife any less - if anything this could make us even closer. 10 Years ago I'd have taken a different view of this - but I guess people change.

I would say well done to your husband for telling you (that was a scary thing for me to do) & well done to you for being open minded to potentially consider new experiences.  I agree you should both set ground rules - for me it would have to be with a complete stranger so there is no 'emotional' connection - as opposed to 'just good sex'.

Best of luck with this - please let me know how you get on & I will do the same when we progress!


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## gmlifer

I could not and would not share my wife. I don't understand it and it blows my mind that others are turned on by the thought of it. That said I say go for it if it's what you both want.


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## Neverstop12345

I shared my x once on a drunkin night and it turned me on.... He was smaller than me and I wasn't jealous. I trusted her at that point to not go behind my back. We ended up splitting up but this had nothing to do with it. With that being said If I truly trusted my wife I would get a sex worker or make sure it was a stranger and keep it professional as possible. You know fake name no emotions. I love nothing more than to see a woman in pleasure no matter what it is. If im truly attracted to her I will give her whatever will turn her on the most. I have also had sex with one of my friends girlfriends while he watched and banged her also. We didn't communicate enough before hand so it made it awkward for me. I was completely turned on by her. I still remember how she smelt, looked and moved...OMG.... Now it was good but could have been so much better. I didn't know if I could talk dirty as hell to her? Tell her how hot she was? Kiss her on the lips? All he told me was no butt sex.... I was fucking her with this huge dildo and vibing her clit and she got tense and quite. I knew she was about to have a huge orgasm and he told me to stop that I was hurting her...FUCK.... She later on mentioned that she was about to cum really hard...... The sexyest thing that night was when she was sitting on his face and sucking on that huge dildo looking at me in lust. I will never forget that look...... I would love to get a hold of her alone! I would never go behind his back out of respect but I don't think many people would have the same respect. for what ever this is worth.......


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## Neverstop12345

Your husband wants to see you cum as hard and crazy as possible and then hug, love and sex your husband after. I would say do not talk to the guy after wards at all. All your attention should go to your husband and get the other guy out of their. Your husband will be so horny watching that he want hardly be able to jerk his cock while watching if your really getting off and giving your husband the naughty look while your fucking him.... woo have fun im turned on thinking about it....good sport girl....


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## Wraiven

Hell, what's the point of being in a relationship? For me, a body is a temple. When you give yourself to somebody special, you are basically telling them that only they have earned the right to touch it. So if people don't feel that same way, then I have to ask...what's the point of a relationship? This world of "Anything goes" really goes right over my head.


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## Bagseed

^it might be a hard concept to grasp, but maybe other people have different views of how their relationship works? my ex and I had an open relationship, and I was comfortable with her having fucked somebody else, because the connection through the mind was to me stronger and more important than the body. 

I personally think that strict monogamy is just a symptom of male dominance to control women, and nowadays, it gets enforced the other way round as well, instead of being abolished.


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## caseyg.hatchell

That's not fair as well. Seeing own wife having sex with out person, is so disgusting. I can't think about it at all.


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## nekointheclouds

Wraiven said:


> Hell, what's the point of being in a relationship? For me, a body is a temple. When you give yourself to somebody special, you are basically telling them that only they have earned the right to touch it. So if people don't feel that same way, then I have to ask...what's the point of a relationship? This world of "Anything goes" really goes right over my head.



Relationships are a lot more than just sex and pleasures of the body, its also about companionship, common goals, sometimes having a family, having a best friend and somene you can share your inner most thoughts with. Its about being there for each other when you are at your best and your worst and so many more things. Sex is def an important part of it but what defines sexual happiness is differnt to differnt people. 

My point is there are many _many_ other points to a relationship than just sharing one's temple as you put it.


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## ScroogeMcDuck57

I don't believe that you can maintain intimacy with your partner while trying to create it with someone else. It's not a good idea to bring in someone else in your relationship. What you have between I yourselves is special. You'd ruin it with jealousy and mistrust by having sex with someone else. Why is your husband so insecure? Why do you 2 not share a level of intimacy where your relationship is sacred?


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## Wraiven

Bagseed said:


> I personally think that strict monogamy is just a symptom of male dominance to control women, and nowadays, it gets enforced the other way round as well, instead of being abolished.



Or you could also say that swinging is almost always the man's idea. The woman is the one that always has to be talked in to it. Coincidence? 

See, that can go both ways.


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## Bagseed

how exactly do you know if that's "almost always the man's idea"? generalizing pretty much?


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## ScroogeMcDuck57

Bagseed said:


> how exactly do you know if that's "almost always the man's idea"? generalizing pretty much?



I believe women view sex with more emotional connection than men. You don't see women obsessing over porn the way men do. There's a lack of intimacy with swinging that strikes me as male oriented. I take your point though about generalizing, but as loveline taught me: you only need to study a couple polar bears to understand the whole species.


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## nekointheclouds

That is another harmful generalization that is made all too often. Its actually a form of sexism against men, a lot of people think that because that is what they are told to think about men and many males and discouraged from being "emotional" which often leads to issues with communicating their emotions. I enjoy porn quite a bit, and I bet there are a lot more females out there obsessed with porn than you could dream. But those females are programmed in so many ways to be ashamed of their sexuality  from a very young age that they are much less likely to ever let anyone know they masturbate, much less that they enjoy porn. I'll help break some stereotypes for you, I started masterbating at a very young age, like younger than 10, and I am a female.

These are all stereotypes and you need to stop fooling yourself into believing that men, women and people in general can be generalized based on one small fact about one's biology.


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## Bagseed

^ pretty much this


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## ScroogeMcDuck57

nekointheclouds said:


> That is another harmful generalization that is made all too often. Its actually a form of sexism against men, a lot of people think that because that is what they are told to think about men and many males and discouraged from being "emotional" which often leads to issues with communicating their emotions. I enjoy porn quite a bit, and I bet there are a lot more females out there obsessed with porn than you could dream. But those females are programmed in so many ways to be ashamed of their sexuality  from a very young age that they are much less likely to ever let anyone know they masturbate, much less that they enjoy porn. I'll help break some stereotypes for you, I started masterbating at a very young age, like younger than 10, and I am a female.
> 
> These are all stereotypes and you need to stop fooling yourself into believing that men, women and people in general can be generalized based on one small fact about one's biology.



I don't want to make you defensive. This has been studied. It's not based off anecdotal evidence like yours. Men's brains are wired differently than Women's. I do agree with you however, we share a desire to have a human connection. 
10 is extremely early to start masturbating. What lead to this? I'd guess sexual trauma of some kind.


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## ScroogeMcDuck57

Also, I don't discount that there are exceptions, but as a general rule emotional intimacy is not perpetuated n a relationship where you share your partner sexually.


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## nekointheclouds

I think that you might be surprised at how female dominated the swingers culture might be, sure it sounds like every mans wet dream if you are being stereotypical but when it comes to the actual people who are doing it and the social circles which it happens are by no means male dominated. Keep in mind I am someone who prefers monogamy and dont think I have it in me to open up my bedroom when I am in a relationship, but I have always been a super open minded person who went to an art college for my bachelors and my masters degree and pretty much everyone I knew and was close to was part of some sort of counter culture movement, lots of artists and musicians in Memphis's art scene. My college roommate and her boyfriend were part of the SCA(The Society for Creative Anachronism - basically the people who do midevil battle reinactments with battle armor and stuff, plus have crazy midevil parties) and I went to some events and parties with them. Many of the people heavily involved in SCA are family oriented and were the mega geeks you knew in high school, but they also love to party and many MANY of them were swingers. But the swinger aspect seemed mostly run by the women in the couples, if not it being honestly the couples decision. 

I'm not saying this is the norm or that it ever will be, like I said I am monogamous personally and dont feel the lifestyle is for me personally, but everyone is different and there are probably more people than you think who are in perfectly loving relationships but have a sexual preference different than yours or mine. Just like I am a woman who is personally attracted to men, but I understand that some woman are attracted to women and some to both.


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## ScroogeMcDuck57

nekointheclouds said:


> I think that you might be surprised at how female dominated the swingers culture might be, sure it sounds like every mans wet dream if you are being stereotypical but when it comes to the actual people who are doing it and the social circles which it happens are by no means male dominated. Keep in mind I am someone who prefers monogamy and dont think I have it in me to open up my bedroom when I am in a relationship, but I have always been a super open minded person who went to an art college for my bachelors and my masters degree and pretty much everyone I knew and was close to was part of some sort of counter culture movement, lots of artists and musicians in Memphis's art scene. My college roommate and her boyfriend were part of the SCA(The Society for Creative Anachronism - basically the people who do midevil battle reinactments with battle armor and stuff, plus have crazy midevil parties) and I went to some events and parties with them. Many of the people heavily involved in SCA are family oriented and were the mega geeks you knew in high school, but they also love to party and many MANY of them were swingers. But the swinger aspect seemed mostly run by the women in the couples, if not it being honestly the couples decision.
> 
> I'm not saying this is the norm or that it ever will be, like I said I am monogamous personally and dont feel the lifestyle is for me personally, but everyone is different and there are probably more people than you think who are in perfectly loving relationships but have a sexual preference different than yours or mine. Just like I am a woman who is personally attracted to men, but I understand that some woman are attracted to women and some to both.



If we were dating, the first signal to me that our relationship was meaningful would be that our sexual interest was only for each other. I'd want to make you feel loved and special. Sharing you with someone else cheapens that. Swinging seems unhealthy and unloving IMO. I think chemical reactions in the brain would back that up.


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## Bagseed

ScroogeMcDuck57 said:


> Also, I don't discount that there are exceptions, but as a general rule emotional intimacy is not perpetuated n a relationship where you share your partner sexually.


you don't seem to understand the difference between a "rule" and your personal concept of how relationships work.


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## ScroogeMcDuck57

Bagseed said:


> you don't seem to understand the difference between a "rule" and your personal concept of how relationships work.



Fair play, I haven't been clear. I could point to studies that conclude fewer sexual partners correlate to healthier lifestyles (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...g-psychological-effects-multiple-sex-partners), but I didn't until now. 
My opposition to sharing your partner comes from my understanding relationship models. Studies like http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0022103180900074 
And 
http://academic.udayton.edu/jackbauer/Readings 595/Fraley 00 attch rev copy.pdf

Romantic attachment to your partner is not enhanced by taking on an additional sexual partner.


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## ScroogeMcDuck57

There's more information out there on how and why relationships function (or don't). Whatever happened on the OP's case? What's happened since you asked the forum about your dilemma?


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## Wraiven

nekointheclouds said:


> That is another harmful generalization that is made all too often. Its actually a form of sexism against men, a lot of people think that because that is what they are told to think about men and many males and discouraged from being "emotional" which often leads to issues with communicating their emotions. I enjoy porn quite a bit, and I bet there are a lot more females out there obsessed with porn than you could dream. But those females are programmed in so many ways to be ashamed of their sexuality  from a very young age that they are much less likely to ever let anyone know they masturbate, much less that they enjoy porn. I'll help break some stereotypes for you, I started masterbating at a very young age, like younger than 10, and I am a female.
> 
> These are all stereotypes and you need to stop fooling yourself into believing that men, women and people in general can be generalized based on one small fact about one's biology.




Seems people hide between the "Generalize much?" defense far too often. Generalizing is not a bad thing...especially when it's true.


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## Wraiven

nekointheclouds said:


> I think that you might be surprised at how female dominated the swingers culture might be, sure it sounds like every mans wet dream if you are being stereotypical but when it comes to the actual people who are doing it and the social circles which it happens are by no means male dominated.



Makes sense. Psychologically I mean. It's the woman's way of accepting things. Let me explain...

_*Husband tells wife he wants to swing

Wife's initial reaction is to say no

Husband persists in asking and attempting to talk her in to it

Wife eventually gives in

Wife give in under the condition that she chooses when and where because this is how she justifies saying yes.

*_I'm going to generalize yet again here. I currently know six different couples who do, or have been swingers. 

One of those couples have split up over intimacy issues due to the husband lusting for other women. It affected their relationship and ended. 
Another one ended because because the extra man that was brought in to the relationship had at some point told the wife that if she were his, he would never share her...that he would love her enough to be with he and just her. 
Another couple split up because the idea of the woman's boyfriend sleeping with another woman drove a wedge between them. Over a period of time, the reality got to be too much.
Another couple ended up split up because the wife started leaving her husband out of the bedroom activities with the other woman...in the end the husband was excluded completely and then asked to leave the home.
Another couple, which happened to be my girlfriend's parents, have been swinging for years. However, the woman is extremely unhappy and wishes she would have never agreed to it.
The last couple that I know who swing has just started swinging, so they have not been affected by it's subversive effects yet.

In every last one of these cases, the swinging idea was always brought up and then pressured by the man until the woman gave in.

Now don't get me wrong, I do understand that there are couples that believe that monogamy is for the birds....when two people get together who are already hard wired that way, THAT is when the swingers relationships work. My point is, if the woman has to be talked in to it, chances are, they are signing the death warrant to their relationship in the long run.

Now, yes...this is generalizing. However, it's the truth. I don't hide behind the political correct ideas of "Let's not generalize! It's bad!" I say what is on my mind and I say the truth...I couldn't care less if that is not politically correct.


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## Bagseed

ScroogeMcDuck57 said:


> Fair play, I haven't been clear. I could point to studies that conclude fewer sexual partners correlate to healthier lifestyles (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...g-psychological-effects-multiple-sex-partners)


hm I read that article and it talks about multiple sex partners in a period of time, but not necessarily at the same time. someone could be poly but only have 3 partners in a year, and somebody could be "mono" (meaning only one lover at a time) but 10 a year, and so forth.
it also only shows correlation with substance use but not other mental illness, which could basically just say that people daring enough to have a lot of sex partners, are also more daring to take drugs... you can't just extrapolate from that, that having multiple sex partners causes drug abuse but that there is a correlation (and the article itself points out that correlation does not equal causation!).



> http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0022103180900074


as far as I can tell, this abstract talks about "commitment" in a gerneral sense? have you read the whole paper? because I don't want't to pay 35 dollars to read it, quite frankly just to find out if they mean commitment strictly in terms monogamy or in a broader sense (which I personally can't tell by just reading the abstract). commitment could also be in terms of financial or emotional support. if you don't support your partner or are even leaving them, you are not commited to the relationship, without having slept with anybody else.



> http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0022103180900074


this paper is too long for tonight, because I'm quite stoned and reading that abstract before was already challenging. but I'll save it and may comment on it in the future. I also have no background in psychology so I sometimes have trouble with terminology.

*Wraiven*, a generalization is by definition not the truth. Furthermore, all your scenarios (generally regarding your posts here in SLR) involve that the man is the dominant part of the relationship and that the female is just forced to give in. but this is just the typical world view of male chauvinism (male = strong gender, makes the rules, female = submissive etc). not all people are like that. many men (including myself for example) like strong women and also maybe want to be sexually dominated by the female (this not necessarily bdsm, but just the dynamics of intercourse).

also, if a relationship ends, is it not really something inevitable? if a couple is happy with each other, then they'll stay together, when they're not happy, they will break up eventually (or stay together and stay unhappy). but you can't force happiness.if they hadn't started swinging, it might very well have ended over something else, possibly cheating. just the fact that one partner longs for other sexual partners and the other is not really comfortable with the idea and needs to get talked into it, shows that there were some discrepancies in the first place.


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## Wraiven

Bagseed said:


> "snip"




This is why I did include that if both people join in to the relationship with the understanding that they will not be monogamous, this would be the only way that I can see a swinging relationship working. However, having to actually talk your partner in to it can only result in one way, with regrets.


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## Wraiven

To the OP...my personal conclusion is this:

If you feel like it is a good idea and it is something you would have wanted on your own, then I say go for it. However...

If it is something you feel uncomfortable with and you actually have to be talked in to it before you can agree with it, I say hell no. DO not let people change who you are, that will only end with regrets.


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## ScroogeMcDuck57

Bagseed said:


> hm I read that article and it talks about multiple sex partners in a period of time, but not necessarily at the same time. someone could be poly but only have 3 partners in a year, and somebody could be "mono" (meaning only one lover at a time) but 10 a year, and so forth.
> it also only shows correlation with substance use but not other mental illness, which could basically just say that people daring enough to have a lot of sex partners, are also more daring to take drugs... you can't just extrapolate from that, that having multiple sex partners causes drug abuse but that there is a correlation (and the article itself points out that correlation does not equal causation!).
> 
> 
> as far as I can tell, this abstract talks about "commitment" in a gerneral sense? have you read the whole paper? because I don't want't to pay 35 dollars to read it, quite frankly just to find out if they mean commitment strictly in terms monogamy or in a broader sense (which I personally can't tell by just reading the abstract). commitment could also be in terms of financial or emotional support. if you don't support your partner or are even leaving them, you are not commited to the relationship, without having slept with anybody else.
> 
> 
> this paper is too long for tonight, because I'm quite stoned and reading that abstract before was already challenging. but I'll save it and may comment on it in the future. I also have no background in psychology so I sometimes have trouble with terminology.
> 
> *Wraiven*, a generalization is by definition not the truth. Furthermore, all your scenarios (generally regarding your posts here in SLR) involve that the man is the dominant part of the relationship and that the female is just forced to give in. but this is just the typical world view of male chauvinism (male = strong gender, makes the rules, female = submissive etc). not all people are like that. many men (including myself for example) like strong women and also maybe want to be sexually dominated by the female (this not necessarily bdsm, but just the dynamics of intercourse).
> 
> also, if a relationship ends, is it not really something inevitable? if a couple is happy with each other, then they'll stay together, when they're not happy, they will break up eventually (or stay together and stay unhappy). but you can't force happiness.if they hadn't started swinging, it might very well have ended over something else, possibly cheating. just the fact that one partner longs for other sexual partners and the other is not really comfortable with the idea and needs to get talked into it, shows that there were some discrepancies in the first place.



There's a free link to the pdf on the page. I'm going to bow out of this. I don't the the OP is benefiting from our exchanges, and my thoughts about healthy relationships aren't as scientifically coherent as I'd like. I'm sorry for wasting all of our time.


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## Bagseed

I checked again and didn't find the free link. only if I have "login credentials" which I don't.

ps I don't think discussing with you was a waste of time


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## nekointheclouds

Wraiven said:


> To the OP...my personal conclusion is this:
> 
> If you feel like it is a good idea and it is something you would have wanted on your own, then I say go for it. However...
> 
> If it is something you feel uncomfortable with and you actually have to be talked in to it before you can agree with it, I say hell no. DO not let people change who you are, that will only end with regrets.



I Agree with this answer whole heartily, I do not think it would be healthy if it is something one partner is talking another partner into and if they are trying something like this. 

The couples and the women I knew who were swingers did not seem like they were talked into it at all, they obviously looked forward to it as much as their partners. I have had more than one couple approach me actually and ask if I would come home with them, always respectful when declined, but often the female would be flirty with me all night before asking with me. I admit that although I am mostly straight I have some attraction to women, I love the female form and I enjoy flirting with women but men are what really do it for me. I think what really makes people happy in a relationship is when they are able to be themselves so do what honestly make you happy and makes you feel sexy and turned on.


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## Bagseed

Wraiven said:


> This is why I did include that if both people join in to the relationship with the understanding that they will not be monogamous, this would be the only way that I can see a swinging relationship working. However, having to actually talk your partner in to it can only result in one way, with regrets.


yeah, of course I agree with this. but in my opinion, this just shows that people who are not compatible enough long term will either break up or be unhappy. if you want to be strictly monogamous but your partner wishes an open relationship of some sort, he/she is simply not the right partner for yourself.


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## Wraiven

Bagseed said:


> yeah, of course I agree with this. but in my opinion, this just shows that people who are not compatible enough long term will either break up or be unhappy. if you want to be strictly monogamous but your partner wishes an open relationship of some sort, he/she is simply not the right partner for yourself.



I'll give that a thumbs up.


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## Lylawinesnob

Monique_B said:


> Hi Everybody,
> 
> I am new to this forum and wanted to get some of your views on a dilemma I am in right now. My husband and I have a good marriage and have now been married just over 10 years. A couple of years ago he asked me about my ex-boyfriends and my past sex life. I didn't want to tell him about it with much detail, but the more we discussed it, the more turned on he got. He wanted to know all the naughty things I did and some of my best sex memories with past boyfriends. Since then, he has admitted to me that his biggest fantasy would be to watch me with with a man that I am very attracted to and that is better endowed than him. I love my husband, but I get jealous if my husband even notices an attractive woman! I will admit his fantasy is very hot for me as the thought of being wanted by another man (while my husband watches) is incredibly sexy. It's even got to the point where it is probably my biggest fantasy as well.
> 
> Would really appreciate how others have dealt with this sort of fantasy? I have no idea why my husband would be so turned on by the idea of sharing me when it is completely one way!


  Does it matter? It sounds like you get some hot sex, and he likes it. Take the win!!


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## Normalguy062302

I say go for it!  I would love to watch my wife fucking a big black cock.  She has incredible pussy and ass that I know could handle just about any cock, but I think she would get off fucking another guy...especially a black guy.


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## gmlifer

Normalguy062302 said:


> I say go for it!  I would love to watch my wife fucking a big black cock.  She has incredible pussy and ass that I know could handle just about any cock, but I think she would get off fucking another guy...especially a black guy.



What about a little white cock with like no hang time? If that sounds like it will fit your needs hit me up!


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## Germanpigtales

It have fantasies about this too but not sure how a boyfriend would feel?


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## upward

He is sharing a deep thing with you. If you ask me, he's probably displaying this level of trust out of love for you. He wants you to be happy, I'm sure. Communication is the best thing ever in a relationship. If this is something that turns you both on, then you've accomplished what many couples have tried and failed at. Enjoy this. It's not easy to come by.


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## Astrawally

upward said:


> He is sharing a deep thing with you. If you ask me, he's probably displaying this level of trust out of love for you. He wants you to be happy, I'm sure. Communication is the best thing ever in a relationship. If this is something that turns you both on, then you've accomplished what many couples have tried and failed at. Enjoy this. It's not easy to come by.



This...

If you can't have an adult conversation and share your most intimate thoughts (and fantasies) with your partner then I don't believe you have that connection  or trust you think you have.


If you feel ashamed or the need to hide it then the same applies.


Of course it takes a particular character to be trusting enough AND you may not want to participate BUT you can't be dimissive if your partner tells you something like this.


I believe this is the exact opposite to cheating - sharing and telling your desires instead of going off getting them elsewhere and hiding.


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## gmlifer

So did your husband get what he wanted?


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## fillmywifeup

Well this has been our fantasy for the past 6yrs. 

My wife has lost 60Kg's last year and now has just got over from all of her plastic's operation, (Excess skin remover, Body lift and new tits) So in short a size 22 to a 10 with DD cups. She is absolutely  smoking hot now with a fat woman's personality . 

She has had a very fit young bloke admiring her for a while who she really likes. I met him and he has a great attitude towards us and morals. So last weekend we met him for drinks and  things went well. I was pushing her to fuck him and she was not sure. After few drinks she agreed. So we went to book a motel room but they were all fully booked out due to a big concert on that weekend. We thought of brining him home but with a teenager still home that wasn't going to really work. 

So I offered to drive him home. My wife was pretty tipsy but knew exactly what was going on. I told him to sit in back with her and go for it. That he did. I fucked her good and left me a good load in her. ( He is a little shy and hasn't had many roots so bare back wasn't a problem) 

I dropped him off and checked her pants to see if she was full while they kissed good bye. We had awesome sex for the next 2hrs. 


6yrs in the making and was the best experience we both had  ever. We are organizing a night this weekend in a luxury holiday unit . We have the right bloke and we are so looking forward in sharing her new body. 

Had to share this as it's our secret in real life.


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## Skeezix64

Monique_B said:


> Probably because he has no interest in other women except for me. He tells me that he gets all of his sexual pleasure by my pleasure. That's why I think the fantasy is so hot and I have a hard time getting it out of my head.



I too have that fantasy about my girlfriend.  The difference is that I don't think I would want to be there when she is with another guy.  I'd prefer for her to go to his place and have sex with him there then she could come back home to tell me about it and we would have a great time.  The commonality I have with your husband is that I love to think of my girlfriend having great orgasmic pleasure with another man.  When I have this fantasy I always see her face contorted in the throes of an orgasm.  If I fantasize that I am there while it happens, then I imagine her telling me how good his cock is and how much she loves the way he is fucking her.  For me, it is all about her pleasure.  I have googled about this 'kink' and as you probably know by now, it is fairly common.  Not many men would admit this fantasy to other guys so I think it is somewhat hidden away amongst us.  
Here is one thing I want to mention.  I had a girlfriend some years ago with whom I discussed this fantasy.  She was turned on by it but never acted on it.  I figured she was capable of doing so, but I never pushed her about it.  We had been having problems with the relationship (this fact is integral to the story) and one night had a seldom accompanied male friend with us out for a night at a local bar.  I was an asshole that night, running around flirting and not paying much attention to my GF due to our relationship issues.  The guy (who was around us very rarely) easily spotted the opportunity in the situation.  When I passed out at home that night my GF woke me and asked was it ok for him and her to go get some late night breakfast.  I slept thru the night and awoke to have her tell me later in the day that they went to listen to music in the car in a secluded spot after they ate.  Long story short, she ended up sucking him off in the car.  As she confessed to me I was very powerfully turned on.  I got so incredibly aroused that I asked her to tell me all the details and I had her suck me off too.  Thanks goodness she was feeling guilty and did my bidding because she was willing to do it again a short time later.  I was so aroused!  But...in time it worked on me and it ended up being a big factor in our ultimate break up.  One thing that ate at me was that she didn't discuss it with me ahead of time....I felt she betrayed me...even though it had been part of our fantasy repertoire.  The other factor was that our relationship was already well on the rocks.  This particular scenario didn't involve the idea of her getting a great deal of pleasure like my present day fantasy but it was still very, very hot. She did enjoy performing oral sex and she told me she was wet and very aroused but she couldn't seem to let him fuck her.  I enjoyed the picture of it in my head and even fantasized about her fingering herself to orgasm while she did it.  Even though that didn't happen I would have been even more excited if she had confessed to doing that.  So...it seems consistent that for me and your husband, it is pleasurable for us to imagine our lady's pleasure.  Why?  I don't know.  Do we feel inadequate and find pleasure in knowing you are pleased with another guy?  I am mixed up about that part.  One thing I do know is I enjoy the fantasy and reality of sharing wife/gf.  Another aspect of this is that I like to think of her being a 'dirty girl'.  There is something very arousing about that, her having a secret guy that she goes to to be 'bad' and have 'secret' sex. It is like a drug for me...so intense a fantasy.  So, that is my tale.  
I would actually gladly be willing for my present day girlfriend to have a guy to please her,  and if she was to come to ask me if she could suck a guy off, or have sex with him, I don't think I could deny her.  However there are two things that I would need reassurance about.  1.  I would have to feel comfortable that she wouldn't be stolen away by this guy, that it's only about pleasure and fun and not falling in love.  2.  I wouldn't want him to be someone close to us.  I wouldn't want it to be a good friend and would prefer that it be someone she has 'secretly' on the side.  He would think it was hidden from me...she wouldn't let him know that I know.    
So, what am I saying?  I wouldn't presume to advise you to actually do this.  It is something you two need to discuss with seriousness. Also, I would say to set up ground rules about it that you both agree to.  If there appears any issue with what is going on for either of you, stop it and reassure.  I am sure there are people who make this sort of thing work for both their pleasure, but there are also many who have probably had things go badly from it.  Make up your minds together.  As for me, I'd love to see if it would work,  But my GF isn't willing to do anything more than talk about it for my arousal.  That works too!  Good luck to you both.


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## Skeezix64

Germanpigtales said:


> It have fantasies about this too but not sure how a boyfriend would feel?


   Maybe you could bring it up casually sometime when you and he are playing.  Ask him if he ever has fantasies about you with someone else.  If he seems bothered by the question you could tell him you though it curious too after one of your friends admitted that her hubby or boyfriend admitted to the fantasy.  Make it about someone else or something you read.  You can drop it if he is offended and if he is aroused you can play it as fantasy and see where it goes.


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## Tlt211

Well I went through same and could never understand because he was so jealous but wanted to watch me with another man,so one weekend we found someone and was so great !!!!!!!


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## Butregueno

I want my wife to do the same thing but she wants to keep it just like fantasy and I don't wAnt that!!


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## Littlelady88

Monique_B said:


> So one thing I am learning here is that many men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. I am so shocked by this!! Can any women relate to how I feel? Am I a bad wife for wanting this? Any other women in my boat?



I do not think you are a bad wife! I felt weird at first to but honestly its just brought me and my husband closer and the sex is AMAZING!! I am the same as you jealous, the thought of him even touching another woman makes me feel sick. I do not see fucking a big black cock while my husband watches the same way as if he were to do it. I see it as I am the star of his very own fantasy and yes getting stretched either in-front of my husband or coming home after being 'naughty' with him wanting to know all the details of just how bad I have been makes the sex out of this world. I would say make sure your both agreed on your first meet do not be swayed into anything unless you are comfortable with it and just embrace the naughty side you wont regret it ;-p

good luck embrace it


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## InfectedWithDrugs

What if the other dude proves to be much better in bed and you end up thinking of him all the time? That could ruin the relationship, but I had similar fantasies. I just decided not fulfil the because I CAN get jealous, even though it's rare.


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## Simmoman87

I organised for my first love to have a threesome with 2 guys in their 40's. Was a huge fantasy of mine and only wanted to see it with her. Petite and very pretty girl with perfect body. We had talked about it and she looked online and showed me who she thought was hot. I organised it as a surprise, and she was very shocked and shy, but soon got into it. The guys loved it and so did she. Not together anymore but still have the photos. Beats any porno hands down.


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## Simmoman87

Also, it took the fear of temptation from other guys my age as she got to experience it with me there. Would recommend it, and it's not hard finding older guys when you're offering a fit 17 year old


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## UpUpAndAway6

I personally went down a similar road.. He wanted to see me have sex with another man and when it happened all I could think was that he wanted it to be fair and have sex with another women although I wouldn't be able to handle it. Needless to say, it ruined the relationship.


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## Daeshdestroyer15

So how does that make her a bad wife? Her husband is into it, he brought the topic up, what women would not agree to rock two cocks at the same time, we do it, it's fucking hot, bigger the better, it's so hot to watch my wife suck another hung stud and get so turned on she swallows his spunk then he puts it in her ass and she lets him up her ass cause she is so turned on


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## Daeshdestroyer15

Watched Real Sex n HBO


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## BiG StroOnZ

If you are with a guy who you are married to and he wants you to have sex with another guy, then how exactly is that a marriage unless you are open swingers?


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## theredgiant

I once met a man on Craigslist who asked me to come fuck his wife. I thought it was bullshit but when I turned up at his apartment it was real. His wife was blind folded on the dinner table with a ball and gag in her mouth and on all fours naked. He spanked her pussy lips with a fly swatter then demanded I eat her out. Then I got on top of her and did it missionary and she got so into it that she kissed me then he slapped her and said no kissing....then she got on her knees and blew me until she swallowed. It was cool until he hit her...and it was kind of strange because the guy was like 6'6 and a pale white red head with a black leather jacket on in the lobby. He looked pissed off and he walked me into a pitch black apartment and offered me a soda and I declined then he cut the lights on and I saw his wife. She was so hot and she never saw me. She was blindfolded the whole time. She was pale white as well with long straight dark hair red heels and red lipstick. I was 17


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## Exelmans1958

I have found my true Treasure in life and would never share her with another guy, nor would I ever consider touching another woman. I would forget this notion, and focus entirely on your spouse.


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## Voyeur1951

Am brand new and glad to be here. It's nice to find some open and enlightened thinkers. I feel exactly as Monique's husband does. I have had experience as the man who was doing the wife. It's great...but nothing like watching my wife with ANY MAN!!! Sorry girls but 12 yrs of supplying unsuspecting, warned,prepared and unprepared penis for my wifes enjoyment has shown me how inept the vast majority of males are. All the male needs are a good set of fingers, a tongue that won't take no for an answer and an erection.....a properly prepared pussy will cum buckets upon insertion of ANY ERECT PENIS. Hearing my wifes naughty stories ( and there are many) make me horny as hell!!!! without details I will say my wife has an exceptional set of "Equipment" and at 58 can screw men 20 yrs her jr under the table....Monique...do not confuse fear with morals and if u decide to do this then do it wholeheartedly. Your husband wants to see u serviced like u have never been serviced before and therefore is ready for a response from u he has never seen before and I believe u would regret not giving it a go....or2....3....4?


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## Voyeur1951

Well god bless you for actually showing up for Craigslist ad. Never have gotten anything worth watching from lops there. Show up, cum in 3 minutes and leave because they are embarassed.


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## Voyeur1951

That's nice....and when u get tired of sticking your key in the same old treasure box in a few years .....go and commit adultery like the rest of u saps who think your wife has ceased to be a woman any longer and u cud never discuss your filthy wants with her....SPOILER ALERT!!! WOMEN ARE BETTER AT SEX THAN MEN. THEY LIKE PENIS AS MUCH AS WE LIKE THAT LITTLE CUNNY.....MAYBE MORE AND THEIR ABILITY TO CUM IS LIMITED ONLY BY YOUR ABILITY TO CONNECT HER MIND TO HER CLIT. Do that and stand back. The combo of no guilt, open mind and open legs will provide some of the best cockholstering there is


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## Voyeur1951

Who needs tags.....he wants his old lady to screw while he watches...if she agrees then he's a guy with a wife that likes to fuck while he watches. Being married is a hell of alot more that that fake ass monogamy thinking.....Gee that must be why over half of marriages fail within 5 yrs...we are not made to be monogamous. If 2 people wanna screw....or 4. 6, 10....if all agree? Let the penetrations begin!!!


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## SamanthaB

Whoever ventures into this territory, should not underestimate the power of oxytocin (the bonding hormone), which usually comes into play quicker for the female than it does the male.  And, if you have never done this before, no matter how much research you do, you will not know ahead of time how each of you will really feel before, during and after the event, either personally or about one another, as well as how you will feel about the 3rd party. Perhaps most importantly, you should also know before going ahead with this that it could break up your relationship, so it may be a risk you may not be willing to take.


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## Milfmama

So curious, what happened? Did you ever do it - how did it go? 

Offered this to my wife, she hasn?t said yes but hasn?t said no either.


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