Relapse Afraid of a heroin relapse... (would you keep taking opiates if there was a "cure" for WD??)

[Chris42393]

After manipulating my Doctors Physician Assistant (which I hate having to do... She's such an amazing girl...), I can now get Gabapentin at literally any dose I want, and as many as I want (I have 3 medical conditions, that gabapentin "fixes"... Seizures, RLS, and Back pain). After taking both of those (kratom and Gabapentin) I can literally have no withdrawals at all after stopping heroin. Gabapentin took literally 100% of my withdrawals away, with an extremely low dose... I typically have WDs throughout the day (duhhh... lol), but I took 100mg of gabapentin in the morning and it completely stopped it....All of it.

So if you have the "cure", why not indulge? If I did "use" I would do a month on and a month off, just like I always did. The only time I would take Gabapentin would be after stopping, for the WD's... Maybe for the first 5-8 days, id still be taking kratom as an intermittent, for the month off (still have never had a problem with that). Like right now, I'm only taking about 8grams a day without issues.

Kratom itself has taken 95-99% of the WD's away in the past (every time, for several years), so now I have 2 things. So it will be even better.

***Hypothetically speaking... If you had the "cure" for opiate withdrawal, would you keep taking opiates for fun?***

(obviously, there is no cure...just simply using that word)

 

[Drifting_Away]

If there was a “cure” then we could all be free. However let me just state, from my own experience, that Gabapentins efficacy’s greatly diminish over time. The first time I took it for a small icy withdrawal I felt the same as you. Now I can literally stack grams of the shit am nearly get relief. They say tolerance drops fast, but for me it doesn’t. The other thing to consider is opioid withdrawal gets significantly worse every time you go through it. Look up kindling effect. I understand what you want to do here. If there was a magic bullet someone would’ve found it by now.

 

[Chris42393]

If there was a “cure” then we could all be free. However let me just state, from my own experience, that Gabapentins efficacy’s greatly diminish over time. The first time I took it for a small icy withdrawal I felt the same as you. Now I can literally stack grams of the shit am nearly get relief. They say tolerance drops fast, but for me it doesn’t. The other thing to consider is opioid withdrawal gets significantly worse every time you go through it. Look up kindling effect. I understand what you want to do here. If there was a magic bullet someone would’ve found it by now.

That's what I was thinking about the gabapentin. But for some reason, my tolerance doesn't grow (with several medications)... I'm not sure why. For heroin, I can literally use 25mg of H (IV) for a few months, and It can have the same effect as day one, and the same for Kratom. I have no idea why. Shit, I actually lowered my dose with Kratom, and it worked better LOL. There are several other medications, but thought I'd just give those two as an example because we're talking about opiates.

I'm hoping it will be the same with Gabapentin, since I'd only take it a few days a month (if that, depending on what I'm doing).

Now I have this damn voice in the back of my head, that just keeps saying, "Go ahead, you'll be okay..."

I wish I would have never tried Gabapentin...

Thanks for the reply brother.

 

[somnilicious]

No..... I Desperately want to hang on till I make it to the otherside….. The "It does get better." I know this from experience but unfortunately for one reason or another I came back and every time I do I regret it. The benefits and pleasure I derive become less and less, while the consequences become greater and greater. I want to experience life. It sucks waking up after 20+ yrs opiate abuse and realizing how much time you've waisted. In an opiate haze the excitement and wonder of life dissolve, dreams and hope reduced to a fix, feelings fade to a dull intellectualized dribble until I can't what it was like to feel. No reason to get out of bed except to score. Why would I need to participate in life when all my dopamine is supplied by an opiated dream world.

Soon it ceases to even work any more no matter how many tolerance breaks I take..... hell the detox meds don't even really work anymore. After all the methadones, suboxones, kratoms and gabapentin pendulum swinging soon nothing works for its intended purpose anymore
Sorry it's hard to hypothesize because the stark reality is all to crisp...

I know it doesn't exactly answer your question because you said hypothetically but "NO". I want to live. I want the good with the bad. I want to experience all the joy, despair, hopes, dreams, fears and anticipations. I want to feel somebody else deep down at the core level of their soul that only comes through empathy. I want to know myself the way that only comes from only having felt each and every emotion of each and every experience. I want to quiver with fear and anticipation, only to swell up with pride at having overcome. I want to love so much it hurts, only to lose that, so that I truly understand what is important. I want the mutually shared experience of having felt every pain and passion with another until our feelings and admiration for each other coalesce into puddle of deep embrace. Then I want to wake up and fight the next morning because our dreams and feelings conflict. Only to have my heart turned by having felt every vibration of discord and disconnection radiate through my body sending it tumbling back to the other emblazoned with passionate makeup sex. I want to feel the moment my father dies, so that I can embrace my sister and share the tears rolling down our cheeks.

I want to wake up excited.... I want to feel my child's disappointments so much that it blurs the lines between us. I want all of that, so that when I lie on my deathbed as I'm breathing in my last painful breath with all the memories of what came before swirling through my head I can say I felt, I knew, I truly loved, I was there..... I lived.

 

[somnilicious]

No..... I Desperately want to hang on till I make it to the otherside….. The "It does get better." I know this from experience but unfortunately for one reason or another I came back and every time I do I regret it. The benefits and pleasure I derive become less and less, while the consequences become greater and greater. I want to experience life. It sucks waking up after 20+ yrs opiate abuse and realizing how much time you've waisted. In an opiate haze the excitement and wonder of life dissolve, dreams and hope reduced to a fix, feelings fade to a dull intellectualized dribble until I can't remember what it was like to feel. No reason to get out of bed except to score. Why would I need to participate in life when all my dopamine is supplied by an opiated dream world.

Soon it ceases to even work any more no matter how many tolerance breaks I take..... hell the detox meds don't even really work anymore. After all the methadones, suboxones, kratoms and gabapentin pendulum swinging soon nothing works for its intended purpose anymore
Sorry it's hard to hypothesize because the stark reality is all to crisp...

I know it doesn't exactly answer your question because you said hypothetically but "NO". I want to live. I want the good with the bad. I want to experience all the joy, despair, hopes, dreams, fears and anticipations. I want to feel somebody else deep down at the core level of their soul. I want to know myself the way that only comes from having felt each and every emotion of each and every experience. I want to quiver with fear and anticipation, only to swell up with pride at having overcome. I want to love so much it hurts, only to lose that, so that I truly understand what is important. I want the mutually shared experience and empathy of having felt every pain and passion with another until our feelings and admiration for each other coalesce into puddle of deep embrace. Then I want to wake up and fight the next morning because our dreams and feelings conflict. Only to have my heart turned by having felt every vibration of discord and disconnection radiate through my body sending it tumbling back to the other emblazoned with passionate makeup sex. I want to feel the moment my father dies, so that I can embrace my sister and share the tears rolling down our cheeks.

I want to wake up excited.... I want to feel my child's disappointments so much that it blurs the lines between us. I want all of that, so that when I lie on my deathbed as I'm breathing in my last painful breath with all the memories of what came before swirling through my head I can say I felt, I knew, I truly loved, I was there..... I lived.

 

[somnilicious]

How do I delete my first post after editing? I don't seem to be able to edit and post unless I edit then cut and paste into the box below to hit post reply.

 

[Drifting_Away]

That's what I was thinking about the gabapentin. But for some reason, my tolerance doesn't grow (with several medications)... I'm not sure why. For heroin, I can literally use 25mg of H (IV) for a few months, and It can have the same effect as day one, and the same for Kratom. I have no idea why. Shit, I actually lowered my dose with Kratom, and it worked better LOL. There are several other medications, but thought I'd just give those two as an example because we're talking about opiates.

I'm hoping it will be the same with Gabapentin, since I'd only take it a few days a month (if that, depending on what I'm doing).

Now I have this damn voice in the back of my head, that just keeps saying, "Go ahead, you'll be okay..."

I wish I would have never tried Gabapentin...

Thanks for the reply brother.

I am both confused and jealous. Lol. I want to tell you that the voice in the back of your head won’t fuck you over. But I think we both know that’s not true. I don’t know how old you are and am not going to preach. But this shit will haunt you for the rest of your life. Check out my thread in DS if you want to know how insidious it can be. Take care and be safe. The shit out there is so wack now a days. At least in NE.

 

[Chris42393]

I am both confused and jealous. Lol. I want to tell you that the voice in the back of your head won’t fuck you over. But I think we both know that’s not true. I don’t know how old you are and am not going to preach. But this shit will haunt you for the rest of your life. Check out my thread in DS if you want to know how insidious it can be. Take care and be safe. The shit out there is so wack nowadays. At least in NE.

Thanks brotha, appreciate it! Have a good one. Ill check it out

 

[Chris42393]

N

How do I delete my first post after editing? I don't seem to be able to edit and post unless I edit then cut and paste into the box below to hit post reply.

Not sure how to brotha, but it was a good post. Deff appreciate it. It was very good! Thank you very much!

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I'm scripted subutex, so I do have unlimited free access to a "cure" for physical withdrawals. I can't remember the last time I had to endure physical symptoms of withdrawal. However, since my money is very limited, trying to use consistently means constantly going back and forth between bouts of "sobriety" on bupe and using, which in practice meant I was spending most of my life in the transition from H to subutex. No physical WDs at all, but brutal depression, my energy levels were all fucked up, my social life fell apart, nearly lost my job, didn't have a penny to spare, stopped all my hobbies etc. The subutex stopped me from having to resort to crime out of desperation, but my life was still fucked. Maybe if I had the money to use consistently then it'd be a different story, but it was definitely still not worth it.

 

[never2manyk9]

No..... I Desperately want to hang on till I make it to the otherside….. The "It does get better." I know this from experience but unfortunately for one reason or another I came back and every time I do I regret it. The benefits and pleasure I derive become less and less, while the consequences become greater and greater. I want to experience life. It sucks waking up after 20+ yrs opiate abuse and realizing how much time you've waisted. In an opiate haze the excitement and wonder of life dissolve, dreams and hope reduced to a fix, feelings fade to a dull intellectualized dribble until I can't remember what it was like to feel. No reason to get out of bed except to score. Why would I need to participate in life when all my dopamine is supplied by an opiated dream world.

Soon it ceases to even work any more no matter how many tolerance breaks I take..... hell the detox meds don't even really work anymore. After all the methadones, suboxones, kratoms and gabapentin pendulum swinging soon nothing works for its intended purpose anymore
Sorry it's hard to hypothesize because the stark reality is all to crisp...

I know it doesn't exactly answer your question because you said hypothetically but "NO". I want to live. I want the good with the bad. I want to experience all the joy, despair, hopes, dreams, fears and anticipations. I want to feel somebody else deep down at the core level of their soul. I want to know myself the way that only comes from having felt each and every emotion of each and every experience. I want to quiver with fear and anticipation, only to swell up with pride at having overcome. I want to love so much it hurts, only to lose that, so that I truly understand what is important. I want the mutually shared experience and empathy of having felt every pain and passion with another until our feelings and admiration for each other coalesce into puddle of deep embrace. Then I want to wake up and fight the next morning because our dreams and feelings conflict. Only to have my heart turned by having felt every vibration of discord and disconnection radiate through my body sending it tumbling back to the other emblazoned with passionate makeup sex. I want to feel the moment my father dies, so that I can embrace my sister and share the tears rolling down our cheeks.

I want to wake up excited.... I want to feel my child's disappointments so much that it blurs the lines between us. I want all of that, so that when I lie on my deathbed as I'm breathing in my last painful breath with all the memories of what came before swirling through my head I can say I felt, I knew, I truly loved, I was there..... I lived.

Very well said and oh so relatable.

 

[cj]

The gabapentin will eventually lose effectiveness. Tolerance builds insanely fast with it. Plus withdrawal is only part of the carnage using causes. But do you. Just please be careful

 

[abbylm23]

If I could get through withdrawal once, I would never use H again. My problem is I experienced precipitated WD one time and it was worse than any WD I have ever felt. So I get scared and worry I don't have enough time detoxing before taking the subs and then I feel so bad I end up using. Vicious cycle. I wish I could do one of those rapid detoxes where you are passed out and wake up clean. I swear if I could do that I would never touch that junk again.

 

[abbylm23]

Basically I thought that if I shot a sub I would feel instant relief. Boy was I wrong. As soon as it hit me I felt weird then the hair on the back of my neck stood up and the only thought I had in my brain was "You just messed up big time" I was at work I ended up huddled on the floor I had to fake a stomach virus and I was totally worthless for the rest of the day. It was by far worse than any actual WD I had ever had. I guess I still had opiates on my receptors and the sub knocked them right off. I would rather go through labor pains than that pain. I instantly had to go to the bathroom, I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. It was the stupidest thing ever because I had read the feedback on BL, I just thought it wouldn't happen to me - I would get relief, I had that junkie urge to shoot something. Man I felt so stupid afterwards.

 

[Missgreenewne]

Loperamide takes away about 70 percent of WD in high doses.