Benzos early stage benzo WD vs opioid WD

[LucidSDreamr]

Never been dependent on benzos.

Very family with opioid withdrawal.

The early onset of opioid WD feels like a coffee overdose + feeling like I'm made of lead.

Does the early onset of a benzo WD feel any different from opioids? Please describe.

 

[OCD2DOC]

I would describe opioid/opiate wds a little differently, but I guess it depends on what you were hooked on.
They say it's similar to a bad flu, but I don't recall ever having heart pounding anxiety or wanting to shed my skin off like a snake whilst going thru a flu episode.
Generally speaking, when I've had the flu I could at at least lay in the bed and be sick without being completely tortured from morning to night.

Benzo wds are similar to opioid wds IMO as far as the restless legs, anxiety, insomnia, aching bones ( that is definitely worse with opiod wd), tiredness, and stomach problems (sea sick feeling). There are some other symptoms that overlap, but these are the most notable ones that correspond, IMO.
What I would say I noticed are more specific to benzo wd is the psychosis, neck stiffness, and constant headaches. The pressure in the head is tough to deal with, too.
The neck pain feels like you are being shocked and your neck muscles draw up really tight.
When the neck pain, psychosis, ear ringing, head pain/pressure all harmonize; it feels like hell has came to Earth.

Both opioid and benzos make you next level lethargic. I am still dealing with a pretty fair amount of fatigue atm. I'm about 5 weeks off suboxone and 3 weeks off xanax.
Besides the lethargy/fatigue, morning psychosis is still present atm.
Definitely getting milder and shorter in duration, but still present.

The psychosis is definitely the hardest part of the benzo wd, IMO. Room spinning, brain zaps (constant firing with no connection is relentless), dizziness, and walls breathing can play tricks on your mind. The derealization and depersonalization will break you down mentally.
I guess there can be a little psychosis with opioid wd, but it is absolutely nothing compared to benzo wd.
Ear ringing is worse with benzo wd, too. The only opiod I really ever got that from was methadone. I did a cold turkey wd and it was flat out inhumane.
Probably worse than these sub and benzo wd combined. I had all the physical b.s for a good month, and my limbic system was utterly destroyed for like six. I have a hard time even explaining all the ways I suffered from the latter.

All in all, they both suck balls. The difference in the two is kinda like the difference between getting beat with a baseball bat and getting beat with a pair of brass knuckles.
You might tell the story a little different, but the very short moral of both is you got your ass kicked royally.

 

[G_Chem]

Yea while I haven’t gone through horrible benzo WD, here’s my take.

Opiates are much more physical and depression related. When I’m WD’ing from opiates I just want to tear out of my body, and life seems hopeless in an dark existential kind of way.

With benzos, it’s the anxiety. Things that never before made me anxious are now monumental in task to accomplish. Every conversation with someone you shake like a leaf.

Both suck, and I’m sure I’ve just scraped the surface with what benzos have to offer (thank god.)

-GC

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I would describe opioid/opiate wds a little differently, but I guess it depends on what you were hooked on.
They say it's similar to a bad flu, but I don't recall ever having heart pounding anxiety or wanting to shed my skin off like a snake whilst going thru a flu episode.
Generally speaking, when I've had the flu I could at at least lay in the bed and be sick without being completely tortured from morning to night.

Benzo wds are similar to opioid wds IMO as far as the restless legs, anxiety, insomnia, aching bones ( that is definitely worse with opiod wd), tiredness, and stomach problems (sea sick feeling). There are some other symptoms that overlap, but these are the most notable ones that correspond, IMO.
What I would say I noticed are more specific to benzo wd is the psychosis, neck stiffness, and constant headaches. The pressure in the head is tough to deal with, too.
The neck pain feels like you are being shocked and your neck muscles draw up really tight.
When the neck pain, psychosis, ear ringing, head pain/pressure all harmonize; it feels like hell has came to Earth.

Both opioid and benzos make you next level lethargic. I am still dealing with a pretty fair amount of fatigue atm. I'm about 5 weeks off suboxone and 3 weeks off xanax.
Besides the lethargy/fatigue, morning psychosis is still present atm.
Definitely getting milder and shorter in duration, but still present.

The psychosis is definitely the hardest part of the benzo wd, IMO. Room spinning, brain zaps (constant firing with no connection is relentless), dizziness, and walls breathing can play tricks on your mind. The derealization and depersonalization will break you down mentally.
I guess there can be a little psychosis with opioid wd, but it is absolutely nothing compared to benzo wd.
Ear ringing is worse with benzo wd, too. The only opiod I really ever got that from was methadone. I did a cold turkey wd and it was flat out inhumane.
Probably worse than these sub and benzo wd combined. I had all the physical b.s for a good month, and my limbic system was utterly destroyed for like six. I have a hard time even explaining all the ways I suffered from the latter.

All in all, they both suck balls. The difference in the two is kinda like the difference between getting beat with a baseball bat and getting beat with a pair of brass knuckles.
You might tell the story a little different, but the very short moral of both is you got your ass kicked royally.

Thanks. That's very detailed. Would you say those "additional effects" you described that distinguish benzo WD from opioid WD don't really manifest unless you have a heavy benzo habit or are very deep time wise into benzo WD? That's what I'm trying to zero in on...a very low benzo dependency vs opioid withdrawl

I ask because I've taken diazepam at 10 to 20mg from 1x to 3x per week (it's random but at least twice weekly usually. I've been doing it for a year and a half. I could go off it for 2 weeks and not feel bad as long as I kept going with methadone.

Now I'm 10 days cold turkey after a very good methadone taper down to 2 mg before jumping off. My diazepam use increased now to cope with the withdrawal and I'm just worried I have a minor dependency to it....it definitely doesn't get me "unsick" to take a benzo...i still feel the skin crawling etc from the methadone withdrawal but I just am amble to knock myself out with a decent benzo dose and escape the insomnia.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Thanks. That's very detailed. Would you say those "additional effects" you described that distinguish benzo WD from opioid WD don't really manifest unless you have a heavy benzo habit or are very deep time wise into benzo WD? That's what I'm trying to zero in on...a very low benzo dependency vs opioid withdrawl

I ask because I've taken diazepam at 10 to 20mg from 1x to 3x per week (it's random but at least twice weekly usually. I've been doing it for a year and a half. I could go off it for 2 weeks and not feel bad as long as I kept going with methadone.

Now I'm 10 days cold turkey after a very good methadone taper down to 2 mg before jumping off. My diazepam use increased now to cope with the withdrawal and I'm just worried I have a minor dependency to it....it definitely doesn't get me "unsick" to take a benzo...i still feel the skin crawling etc from the methadone withdrawal but I just am amble to knock myself out with a decent benzo dose and escape the insomnia.

I would say the length of time could play a factor. I used to binge on benzos in the past. Sometimes for a month or more. I was always smart enough to stop and taper.
Never really had any significant wds until now.

I knew I was going to experience real benzo wd when I stopped last month.
How I knew is probably the same way you are going to be able to know,
how do you feel when you go without your benzo? I was on a very short acting be benzo (xanax), so I got a little taste of wd almost everyday the last year or so I was on them ( 3 years).
I know valium stays in your system a lot longer, so it might be hard for you to tell.
The half-life is long for valium, so it's possible using just 3 times a week could build up in your system. For sure not trying to worry you, just want you to be aware.

I just reread your post for accuracy, and I think you may be ok if you were just taking the valium 2-3 times a week. I would keep my dose as low as possible while you are getting though you methadone taper. You definitely are smart tapering the methadone. I jumped CT at like 80 mg. That was stupid. Really stupid.
Since the valium is longer lasting if you taper it as you come out of your wds you may be ok. I would be ready for some wds just in case, tho. My suggestion is to try and get some gabapentin. It really cushioned my wd symptoms when they were at their peak.
If you have any other questions just let me know.
I really hope you escape the nightmare of benzo wds.
Good Luck!

 

[deficiT]

For me, in the simplest terms possible, benzo withdrawal is more mentally painful, as opposed to the more physical withdrawal of opioids. While obviously they both have physical and mental aspects, and they also overlap with some side effects, that is how I interpreted it after going through both a bunch of times.

 

[cdin]

benzo wd feels like a slow/elongated come up into ethanol DTs. all GABA oriented withdrawals feel the same to me: like the worst LSD trip ever. super stimulated, highly anxious and paranoid, then hallucinations, tremors, wild fantasies of awful things coming to get/hurt me, then the electrical stuff starts and hardcore delerium. imo opioid withdrawals do not hold a candle to benzo/gaba wds. I have been in both simultaneously and not been able to feel the opioid wds because the benzo wd was so all encompassingly terrible.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

A major issue with benzo withdrawal--that is a key factor changing the nature of such withdrawals--is the timeline. Benzo withdrawal is unbearably weird and the user may think they're in the woods, but it returns and suddenly can be even worse in some symptoms than the initial wave of benzo withdrawal. When opiate addicts say they're "through the woods," it doesn't come back any stronger than before. I would state confidently opiate withdrawal symptoms fade and return here and there if the user is not eating properly or sleeping well... but benzo withdrawal is a timeline nobody deserves to experience. It is elongated and crippling in severity for anyone who moderately even abuses benzos and cuts off cold turkey. Anyone reading this right now who has an affinity towards benzos/anxiety plagues your life... really think carefully about what you gain versus the potential loss in the end. I don't want anyone to not be warned about benzo withdrawal in terms of *discomfort* alone... it will destroy anyone with anxiety if not properly at least assisted by a "health professional" and preferably a professional with benzo withdrawal treatment background and experience. Pls don't think opiate withdrawal you have handled finely before... so benzo withdrawal you will be able to handle. Are you sure?

I personally don't enjoy benzos whatsoever nor really care about their existence, but I've got some history of their use here and there in my druggie resume experience. Benzos are very difficult to ascertain how powerful the withdrawal will be versus opiate usage. An opiate user usually senses how severe the withdrawal shall be somewhat based on the high. A stronger opiate high initially with beginner users indicates a weaker withdrawal in the short term time frame of usage. When a user abuses opiates for years and the high is not even capable of being abused or achieved over years of use, you know the withdrawal will destroy you lol! Benzos though? You may feel like you'll not withdraw at all and you will regret existing in theory as folks have gone through themselves before. Sometimes users of elongated benzo usage experience a mild withdrawal that shocks users who have abused xanax/klonopin/all of the weird benzo names (*why are there so many benzos like god damn). Like anyone withdrawals are different per person/history of use/body chemistry. However, do not risk being on the bad side of benzo withdrawal. It is something heroin addicts fear more than the heroin cold turkey process. Just sounds really awful lol..

 

[OCD2DOC]

A major issue with benzo withdrawal--that is a key factor changing the nature of such withdrawals--is the timeline. Benzo withdrawal is unbearably weird and the user may think they're in the woods, but it returns and suddenly can be even worse in some symptoms than the initial wave of benzo withdrawal. When opiate addicts say they're "through the woods," it doesn't come back any stronger than before. I would state confidently opiate withdrawal symptoms fade and return here and there if the user is not eating properly or sleeping well... but benzo withdrawal is a timeline nobody deserves to experience. It is elongated and crippling in severity for anyone who moderately even abuses benzos and cuts off cold turkey. Anyone reading this right now who has an affinity towards benzos/anxiety plagues your life... really think carefully about what you gain versus the potential loss in the end. I don't want anyone to not be warned about benzo withdrawal in terms of *discomfort* alone... it will destroy anyone with anxiety if not properly at least assisted by a "health professional" and preferably a professional with benzo withdrawal treatment background and experience. Pls don't think opiate withdrawal you have handled finely before... so benzo withdrawal you will be able to handle. Are you sure?

I personally don't enjoy benzos whatsoever nor really care about their existence, but I've got some history of their use here and there in my druggie resume experience. Benzos are very difficult to ascertain how powerful the withdrawal will be versus opiate usage. An opiate user usually senses how severe the withdrawal shall be somewhat based on the high. A stronger opiate high initially with beginner users indicates a weaker withdrawal in the short term time frame of usage. When a user abuses opiates for years and the high is not even capable of being abused or achieved over years of use, you know the withdrawal will destroy you lol! Benzos though? You may feel like you'll not withdraw at all and you will regret existing in theory as folks have gone through themselves before. Sometimes users of elongated benzo usage experience a mild withdrawal that shocks users who have abused xanax/klonopin/all of the weird benzo names (*why are there so many benzos like god damn). Like anyone withdrawals are different per person/history of use/body chemistry. However, do not risk being on the bad side of benzo withdrawal. It is something heroin addicts fear more than the heroin cold turkey process. Just sounds really awful lol..

Yeah, benzo wds are in your face and at the same time sneakingly nasty.
I would say they lived up to the hype for sure. Actually, they probably aren't hyped enough as far as people knowing just how bad they truly can be. (I'm still having some sucky on-again off-again symptoms for periods of the day 3 weeks out)

I had experienced them enough to know benzo wds weren't to be played with, and I always heard they were not anything you want to experience this side of death; but when they showed up unadulterated I was a bit taken back to say the least.

It sucks enough with all the mind stuff and general "benzo flu" symptoms, but having to worry about seizing up any minute in that state is pure terror personified.
The last part can be avoided with a proper taper and/or proper meds to combat the seizures, and this should be done without question. Luckily, I at least attempted a half-ass taper and was blessed with gabapentin a couple days in. I don't want to even think how it would have sucked to have had to do full-on cold turkey off them.
I know they say never say never, but that's something this man is NEVER going to experience.

I am also a bit puzzled by the seemingly endless list of benzo derivatives.
My guess is those in the know are aware how gnarly benzos are ( while on and coming off), so they have searched for possible less addictive and less destructive versions. That, and there is a need for different different levels of benzos ( i..e long, intermediate, and short- acting).
I'm sure the fact there is big money in relieving stress is no doubt a factor in regards, also.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Yeah, benzo wds are in your face and at the same time sneakingly nasty.
I would say they lived up to the hype for sure. Actually, they probably aren't hyped enough as far as people knowing just how bad they truly can be. (I'm still having some sucky on-again off-again symptoms for periods of the day 3 weeks out)

I had experienced them enough to know benzo wds weren't to be played with, and I always heard they were not anything you want to experience this side of death; but when they showed up unadulterated I was a bit taken back to say the least.

It sucks enough with all the mind stuff and general "benzo flu" symptoms, but having to worry about seizing up any minute in that state is pure terror personified.
The last part can be avoided with a proper taper and/or proper meds to combat the seizures, and this should be done without question. Luckily, I at least attempted a half-ass taper and was blessed with gabapentin a couple days in. I don't want to even think how it would have sucked to have had to do full-on cold turkey off them.
I know they say never say never, but that's something this man is NEVER going to experience.

I am also a bit puzzled by the seemingly endless list of benzo derivatives.
My guess is those in the know are aware how gnarly benzos are ( while on and coming off), so they have searched for possible less addictive and less destructive versions. That, and there is a need for different different levels of benzos ( i..e long, intermediate, and short- acting).
I'm sure the fact there is big money in relieving stress is no doubt a factor in regards, also.

I'll answer the designer benzo question below but first on the topic of my post:

You guys are focusing alot on the extreme differences in benzo WD like seizures and hallucinations and delusions....I'm more concerned with being able to distinguish between a very weak benzo WD from a small dependcy vs an also mild opioid withdrawal

I did such a good methadone taper that I'm 10 days off methadone and have had no serious wirhdrawl other than insomnia and skin crawling and physical anxiety.

All RC benzo question

The main reason new benzos are constantly being invented is because it will then be patentable and they can exclusively sell it for 20 years as some "improved" benzo at a huge price. All known benzos patents have expired so anybody can sell them cheaply.

Most of these benzo analogues are not suited to pass clinical trials so they just are left in the patent or scientific literature for Chinese labs to make and sell for addicts.

 

[AbbeyLee]

I'm more concerned with being able to distinguish between a very weak benzo WD from a small dependcy vs an also mild opioid withdrawal

I'd say that's virtually impossible. The psychological factors involved in addiction are very underestimated I think. By psychological I don't mean less real though

Addiction is an art not a science

 

[AbbeyLee]

 

[OCD2DOC]

You guys are focusing alot on the extreme differences in benzo WD like seizures and hallucinations and delusions....I'm more concerned with being able to distinguish between a very weak benzo WD from a small dependcy vs an also mild opioid wiwithdrawal

I've had 'minor' benzo wds ( not sure I would classify as actual benzo wds) and I've now had major benzo wds. Night and day. Trust this, you won't have to wonder whether your in the big leagues or not if the latter shows up.
Opioids seemed to help mask symptoms of short term use and discontinuation.
I was always on some opioid in past when I did benzos, so I never had much more than rebound anxiety after a month or so on them. I'd say some wds are eminent if you have used them for months or over a year like you said. It would be foolish to not at least prepare for the possibility.
That's my experience anyways. My hope is you only using 2-3 times a week may make you one or the exceptions.
My question to you how do you feel when you stop taking the valium?
This is going to be your best indicator.

The main reason new benzos are constantly being invented is because it will then be patentable and they can exclusively sell it for 20 years as some "improved" benzo at a huge price. All known benzos patents have expired so anybody can sell them cheaply.

Most of these benzo analogues are not suited to pass clinical trials so they just are left in the patent or scientific literature for Chinese labs to make and sell for addicts.

Makes sense. Like I was saying, big money in providing people a pill to that knocks out stress/anxiety. Unfortunately, if you end up with a habit you can't buy your way out of the wds.
I'm fairly confident people are not weighing the costs and thinking about what happens when the pill stops working for them. Like opioids benzos are very easy to get on and not so easy to get off. That's my two cents anyways.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I've had 'minor' benzo wds ( not sure I would classify as actual benzo wds) and I've now had major benzo wds. Night and day. Trust this, you won't have to wonder whether your in the big leagues or not if the latter shows up.
Opioids seemed to help mask symptoms of short term use and discontinuation.
I was always on some opioid in past when I did benzos, so I never had much more than rebound anxiety after a month or so on them. I'd say some wds are eminent if you have used them for months or over a year like you said. It would be foolish to not at least prepare for the possibility.
That's my experience anyways. My hope is you only using 2-3 times a week may make you one or the exceptions.
My question to you how do you feel when you stop taking the valium?
This is going to be your best indicator.


Makes sense. Like I was saying, big money in providing people a pill to that knocks out stress/anxiety. Unfortunately, if you end up with a habit you can't buy your way out of the wds.
I'm fairly confident people are not weighing the costs and thinking about what happens when the pill stops working for them. Like opioids benzos are very easy to get on and not so easy to get off. That's my two cents anyways.

When I kicked methadone I also didn't take valium till day 7 of my kick...and it was bearable.

Another time 3 months ago while on 2 mg methadone per day...i stopped valium for 2 weeks. I felt a little off like i was tired I guess I would say if anything.

 

[OCD2DOC]

When I kicked methadone I also didn't take valium till day 7 of my kick...and it was bearable.

Another time 3 months ago while on 2 mg methadone per day...i stopped valium for 2 weeks. I felt a little off like i was tired I guess I would say if anything.

If you would have had that experience with xanax, I'd say you are in the clear.
But valium has that ridiculously long half-life, and I've heard stories where it can take a couple weeks for the wds to fully hit off valium. Anecdotal and not necessarily the norm, so I wouldn't worry too much. If you do notice the wds are too intense you can aquire some gabapentin to cushion the blow or even slow taper the valium down to 1-2 mgs.

Benzo wds are a little weird, LucidSDreamr. If you do have some wds you may not necessarily steady improve like you do off opioids. I have improved over the last 3 weeks, but not in the steady manner like I did off suboxone (methadone was a lot slower, but I don't consider my CT wd off methadone to be the norm).

I can't say for sure because I haven't reached the finish line, but I'm pretty sure these benzo wd symptoms are going to hang around a minute. This last week has been a crap shoot with respect. I keep waiting to wake up and feel 'normal', but the benzo wds are hanging steady.

I don't want to worry you, though. Just want you to be prepared if you do have wds from the valium. Hopefully you'll dodge the bullet, my friend.
Congrats on kicking the methadone! I know firsthand what coming off methadone feels like. You should be proud of yourself.
Good luck and wish you a speedy recovery.

 

[bongbing]

If you would have had that experience with xanax, I'd say you are in the clear.
But valium has that ridiculously long half-life, and I've heard stories where it can take a couple weeks for the wds to fully hit off valium. Anecdotal and not necessarily the norm, so I wouldn't worry too much. If you do notice the wds are too intense you can aquire some gabapentin to cushion the blow or even slow taper the valium down to 1-2 mgs.

Benzo wds are a little weird, LucidSDreamr. If you do have some wds you may not necessarily steady improve like you do off opioids. I have improved over the last 3 weeks, but not in the steady manner like I did off suboxone (methadone was a lot slower, but I don't consider my CT wd off methadone to be the norm).

I can't say for sure because I haven't reached the finish line, but I'm pretty sure these benzo wd symptoms are going to hang around a minute. This last week has been a crap shoot with respect. I keep waiting to wake up and feel 'normal', but the benzo wds are hanging steady.

I don't want to worry you, though. Just want you to be prepared if you do have wds from the valium. Hopefully you'll dodge the bullet, my friend.
Congrats on kicking the methadone! I know firsthand what coming off methadone feels like. You should be proud of yourself.
Good luck and wish you a speedy recovery.

Bloody 'ell
I'm five days since last valium and scared shitless. I think what people have posted here is true in that benzo WD comes in weird waves and from what i've read there is evidence clinically to support this.

I'm scared shitless though, benzo addiction creeps up on you.

I don't think anyone starts taking them for fun, I was prescribed them for a few months but the detatchment from horrendous trauma made them too alluring and this was over FIVE YEARS AGO now. I was never in control, no tablet no matter how fucked up a situation you are in can ever be the answer and help you. In five years I can't look back and say I'm glad I took benzos. It's like a toxic relationship you get tied up in and before you know it your entire life, home, property, relationships, job etc are all jepordised and somehow revolve around you now having something to numb out reality.
I feel like I wish someone had been there at the time to say you will have to make a choice to either keep going or fuck everything, a bit like Samuel L Jackson in the Matrix (jk Morpheus lol) only he's holding one pill and saying take this or stay in the world around you. Yes life may be shit, might be unsustainable, but the benzo choice is definately unsustainable.


Anyone here ever specifically gone through a long-acting benzo withdrawl? Was wondering if there's noticible buildups and tremmours etc, vomitting or anything or can a seizure just ambush me out of the blue?
I think pregabalin is a very underused drug that said, it has helped me way more than any of the like eight antidepressants i've been on.

Also the only reason I'd never go to my doctor is I know they'd take away my ADHD meds which have always helped me so bugger that.

Weirdly enough i've had oxycodone and loved it, but never developed a habbit, then I got some heroin from another duck and made a thread here asking how to take it. Took it and felt really heavy and cozy and went to bed. Tbh it was an emergency suicide bag but I eventually got rid of it knowing that i'd think back and forth at night should I have kept it, on the one hand this but on the other hand THAT.
I've been reading a lot of threads here lately, more than I generally have in the past and as some people were saying there's a huge psychological factor to addiction. Dependence is one thing but the brain part, anxiety is a hungry thing and weirdly paralyzing and self feeding like a snake with paralytic vennom eating its self (you're the snake).
Not even -during- detox/withdrawls, but after.
The most tragic thing is ending up back on something, relapsing. I think a huge risk is demons like when you think "what's the fuckin point" and that there's nothing to live for. Even though my possessive and controlling relationship with benzos started because of a suicide doesn't mean I should set off that suicide bomb around those who care about me.
There are people who care about you, and numbing things can make us blind to this and I think this is where a lot of disassociation can come into play.
Maybe it's a bit like severence when coming in and out of benzoworld. You know, those holes in your memory you didnt' realise you had til someone mentions something that happened, or asks about a period of time in your life.

Tldnr: benzos will make your life a desert absent of friends, money and purpose before coming to nail you on a cross and leave you there to bake wishing you'd just boofed jenk instead of popping any pill.

 

[BourbonMac]

This thread makes me curious as I've been taking 10mg of valium a night for around 4 months (at first it was like 7.5, then 10, now I'm up to 15mg). I don't want to stay on it for too much longer but it's been very helpful. I wonder if CT'ing it would be particularly uncomfortable.

 

[bongbing]

This thread makes me curious as I've been taking 10mg of valium a night for around 4 months (at first it was like 7.5, then 10, now I'm up to 15mg). I don't want to stay on it for too much longer but it's been very helpful. I wonder if CT'ing it would be particularly uncomfortable.

It's not the best sleeping pill tbh, I don't mean in terms of its efficacy in sedating people I just mean due to its long half life and shit.

You'll be ok, don't increase your dose please. I don't know why you take it but, well i'd be repeating myself - just have in your sights coming off of it. And leaving it in the past.

 

[OCD2DOC]

Bloody 'ell
I'm five days since last valium and scared shitless. I think what people have posted here is true in that benzo WD comes in weird waves and from what i've read there is evidence clinically to support this.

I'm scared shitless though, benzo addiction creeps up on you.

I don't think anyone starts taking them for fun, I was prescribed them for a few months but the detatchment from horrendous trauma made them too alluring and this was over FIVE YEARS AGO now. I was never in control, no tablet no matter how fucked up a situation you are in can ever be the answer and help you. In five years I can't look back and say I'm glad I took benzos. It's like a toxic relationship you get tied up in and before you know it your entire life, home, property, relationships, job etc are all jepordised and somehow revolve around you now having something to numb out reality.
I feel like I wish someone had been there at the time to say you will have to make a choice to either keep going or fuck everything, a bit like Samuel L Jackson in the Matrix (jk Morpheus lol) only he's holding one pill and saying take this or stay in the world around you. Yes life may be shit, might be unsustainable, but the benzo choice is definately unsustainable.


Anyone here ever specifically gone through a long-acting benzo withdrawl? Was wondering if there's noticible buildups and tremmours etc, vomitting or anything or can a seizure just ambush me out of the blue?
I think pregabalin is a very underused drug that said, it has helped me way more than any of the like eight antidepressants i've been on.

Also the only reason I'd never go to my doctor is I know they'd take away my ADHD meds which have always helped me so bugger that.

Weirdly enough i've had oxycodone and loved it, but never developed a habbit, then I got some heroin from another duck and made a thread here asking how to take it. Took it and felt really heavy and cozy and went to bed. Tbh it was an emergency suicide bag but I eventually got rid of it knowing that i'd think back and forth at night should I have kept it, on the one hand this but on the other hand THAT.
I've been reading a lot of threads here lately, more than I generally have in the past and as some people were saying there's a huge psychological factor to addiction. Dependence is one thing but the brain part, anxiety is a hungry thing and weirdly paralyzing and self feeding like a snake with paralytic vennom eating its self (you're the snake).
Not even -during- detox/withdrawls, but after.
The most tragic thing is ending up back on something, relapsing. I think a huge risk is demons like when you think "what's the fuckin point" and that there's nothing to live for. Even though my possessive and controlling relationship with benzos started because of a suicide doesn't mean I should set off that suicide bomb around those who care about me.
There are people who care about you, and numbing things can make us blind to this and I think this is where a lot of disassociation can come into play.
Maybe it's a bit like severence when coming in and out of benzoworld. You know, those holes in your memory you didnt' realise you had til someone mentions something that happened, or asks about a period of time in your life.

Tldnr: benzos will make your life a desert absent of friends, money and purpose before coming to nail you on a cross and leave you there to bake wishing you'd just boofed jenk instead of popping any pillI.

Welcome to the bad day month at Black Rock club.
I'm not only a member, I'm currently the President.
I'll be happy to resign if you want the job.

Benzo wds comes in waves? You don't say!
I've found this out the hard way myself. As a matter of fact, I'm still discovering this truth on a weekly basis.
It's not all doom and gloom, tho. I'm definitely not where I want to be, but I'm a lot further than when I started this trip ( ironically, these wds have felt a lot like a bad acid trip at times).
I just got through a pretty intense wave ( at its peak anyways) from Friday to Monday. I've since had a nice little two day window where the wds have been minimal, and I'm hoping to make it a 3rd. I got assaulted for a couple hours this morning, but symptoms have subsided in the last hour or so.

I'm coming off xanax, so my wds hit like a Mack truck day 1.
I don't know exactly how the valium wds hit per se, but I can imagine the same just taking a little longer to come on. A rough analogy would be like kicking a short-acting opioid and a long half-life one. The only caveat being you are going to get wrecked by the short-acting benzo just as bad/long( if not probably worse ) than the long half-life one.
I think the difference is going to be if you taper that long half-life benzo or not.

But I digress,

"before coming to nail you on a cross and leave you there to bake....."

yeah, definitely feeling like the benzos left me a little high and dry, myself.
If the benzos were a person they would no doubt rob you, frame it so it looks like you robbed them, and then run off with your old lady whilst you're sitting in the hoosegow getting raped by a rather large framed man.

I say good riddance, though. Even though the experience is traumatic, that's the attitude you need to take as you embark on your harrowing benzo wd journey, bongbing.
I'm not going to be that guy and tell you just need to 'be positive' ( as if that is somehow an option you just select), but not letting yourself go too deep down the rabbit hole of dispair is something you're going to have to deal with.
I'm not exactly sure what will work for you, but you'll need to find something you can at least try to focus on that isn't dark when things get more intense.
For me it was becoming side effect free from a drug that was plaguing me with constant side effects. I haven't had every side effect disappear yet, but I have lost a few, and that gives me hope others will eventually fade, too.

Goodluck to you! And just remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It might take a little time, but you will begin to heal.

p.s Get you some gabapentin or pregabalin. The gaba was a lifesaver for me when the shiznit really hit the fan. Just take it easy on them. Both can be addictive and have some nasty wds of their own.

 

[bongbing]

Welcome to the bad day month at Black Rock club.
I'm not only a member, I'm currently the President.
I'll be happy to resign if you want the job.

Benzo wds comes in waves? You don't say!
I've found this out the hard way myself. As a matter of fact, I'm still discovering this truth on a weekly basis.
It's not all doom and gloom, tho. I'm definitely not where I want to be, but I'm a lot further than when I started this trip ( ironically, these wds have felt a lot like a bad acid trip at times).
I just got through a pretty intense wave ( at its peak anyways) from Friday to Monday. I've since had a nice little two day window where the wds have been minimal, and I'm hoping to make it a 3rd. I got assaulted for a couple hours this morning, but symptoms have subsided in the last hour or so.

I'm coming off xanax, so my wds hit like a Mack truck day 1.
I don't know exactly how the valium wds hit per se, but I can imagine the same just taking a little longer to come on. A rough analogy would be like kicking a short-acting opioid and a long half-life one. The only caveat being you are going to get wrecked by the short-acting benzo just as bad/long( if not probably worse ) than the long half-life one.
I think the difference is going to be if you taper that long half-life benzo or not.

But I digress,

"before coming to nail you on a cross and leave you there to bake....."

yeah, definitely feeling like the benzos left me a little high and dry, myself.
If the benzos were a person they would no doubt rob you, frame it so it looks like you robbed them, and then run off with your old lady whilst you're sitting in the hoosegow getting raped by a rather large framed man.

I say good riddance, though. Even though the experience is traumatic, that's the attitude you need to take as you embark on your harrowing benzo wd journey, bongbing.
I'm not going to be that guy and tell you just need to 'be positive' ( as if that is somehow an option you just select), but not letting yourself go too deep down the rabbit hole of dispair is something you're going to have to deal with.
I'm not exactly sure what will work for you, but you'll need to find something you can at least try to focus on that isn't dark when things get more intense.
For me it was becoming side effect free from a drug that was plaguing me with constant side effects. I haven't had every side effect disappear yet, but I have lost a few, and that gives me hope others will eventually fade, too.

Goodluck to you! And just remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It might take a little time, but you will begin to heal.

p.s Get you some gabapentin or pregabalin. The gaba was a lifesaver for me when the shiznit really hit the fan. Just take it easy on them. Both can be addictive and have some nasty wds of their own.

Aw thanks mang
When did you start to come off xan and are you tapering? Maybe switch to a longer half life (depending how hooked you are)

Also what is black rock club and why do i want in

Tbf i have like some mad anhedonia i just feel like, i actually feel like im going to wake up any second and she's still alive and it was just a dream like I can hear and feel and see her if i shut my eyes or i'm actually in some glitch world that isn't real or being punished by god. A psychologist said i had a dissassociative disorder but I made sure it never got onto my NHS medical records.

but I'm on day 6 1/2 no benzo (after years of on off sporadic use, two seizures, ive had clonazepam, clonazolam, diazepam, nitrazepam (my fave), temazepam, alprazolam, and etizolam) - was taking like 60mg valium a day since january - this was a change from clonazepam i'd been taking with alprazolam at the same time, i decided it's best i j ust use diazepam, I bougt a dosset box and had a taper schedule but a single bad dream kind of ruined it; but I got down to 20mg, sometiems fluctuating up to 30mg when i felt particularly bad. I feel bad all the time and honestly I think it's like the only thing to fear is fear its self (and seizures lmao) (but i am just trying to conveyt the very true and very uncozy psychological aspect of benzo withdrawl, uncozy.

you know I had a really goodvibe indian taxi driver take me to the dentist just now (ive been awake for like 36hrs and taken pregaba-gaba-hey (it does help, very underused drug, best anti-depressant ive had takes the edge off a wee bit) but anyway we were talking about a museum and we said we both went there as kids and he started talking about the type of strawberry tart and cup of tea he'd get and i was like man that's so cozy i like empire biscuits and then when i said i was goin to the dentist my left side teeth hurt he was like "don't worry mate i've done plenty of ecstasy" and he played psychedelic rock and we chatted about psychedelics and conciousness and his grocery business he has with his wife
<