Horrible devastating DMT trip

[Xorkoth]

Actually the idea that DMT is released upon death is an extremely wide-spread speculation (Strassman even admitted it was speculation in his book where it's from) that is passed around as fact, but there has never been any proof of it.

DMT has been found in extremely minute amounts in the brain, so the body can make it (no surprise really since the body makes other tryptamine-like things including serotonin).

 

[lysergamide]

I know this is an old thread. But I have had extremely similar negative outlooks on everything being a creation of myself to entertain (in what seems at the time in a sick twisted way) on very high ketamine doses combined with higrade weed.

My conclusion, don't repeat the combo (although it's difficult as ketamine makes me manic at that dose so I'll smoke without thinking) and also that this is merely my ego getting wrapped up in these beliefs. I do believe we are all creators, but to say that I am the one single entity and that everything else is a manifestation of my own creation for my own games is highly arrogant, selfish and egotistical. I can't believe that my single flawed self is capable of this, combined with everyone else yes, but alone, no. This reality isn't what created everything, it's higher than that, so don't be rooted in this reality entirely. Don't forget that everything is interconnected, that doesn't mean everything spawns from you.

Also not everything you experience on a trip is fact. I really like Terence McKenna's method of discussion for this reason, it's all theories and it is up to you to make whatever decisions you decide to do based on a conclusion on a combination of these theories rather than confining yourself to one single belief. I don't believe there is a single solution to every problem. It was a sign to me that I was abusing the tools available to me and spending too much time on them rather than integrating experiences.

 

[Rampelflik]

Wow! What a read! A lot of familiar insights and speculations! I dig it!
A lot psychs tend to push one in the direction of these concepts of reality. Disso's too, especially ketamine. For me at least.

My conclusion always is that I can never be sure of anything, excluding the fact that I can´t be sure. And that this is probably for the best. My hope is that every answer raises at least one more question, a new or multiple new paths for speculation. I hope the speculation never ends, because that´s where a lot of the fun is!

Whenever I hear or read someone speaking with absolute certainty about anything other then the certainty of the great doubt, I shudder. Maybe, and I say maybe, this is hypocritical of me.

I can see why religions have always been, and still are, quite successful in delivering a large dose of placebo to reduce existential angst. Don't get me wrong, I too enjoy the great relief of the mighty placebo in telling myself, "everything will be alright," without a need to frame this thought in The Great Answer (whatever that may be (42)). I only wish more people weren't so scared to accept whatever their explanation for, or their meaning of, their existence is, as a possible placebo. It has been proven that even when you know you are taking a placebo, it still has a measurable and relevant positive effect (sauce: https://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode/placebos-work-even-when-you-know-10-12-23/.

Hell, if we are all a one, we might be it's placebo and visa versa. Placebo's all the way down anyone? Hehe, what's not to enjoy in this high wire balancing act where you might feel as if you're walking on the razors edge of sanity!

That's my two cents. Happy speculations to you all!

 

[DisillusionedDiety]

Solipsism is a common delusion on psychedelics.

Do you really think you are so special that only you exist in this realm, and that the rest of us are merely figments of your imagination?

This is a selfish and infantile stance to take.

Don't be an idiot.

It has nothing with feeling special or being selfish, you think he or anyone else wants to feel that way? It is completely and utterly terrifying and he is obviously under stress. There is nothing more lonely than believing that your all that exists.

As for the sad soul going through this-I've been going through this same experience and what helps me is the famous quote "You have nothing to fear but fear itself" it's not worth putting yourself through a mental hell, just accept this for whatever it is, because guess what, you're still here, and i for one am so grateful to be "alive" whatever that means, because that beats the lonEly nothingness. Nothing has helped me more than being out in nature and the few close people I have to talk to that have been through similar experiences, either through psychedelics or meditation and healthy lifestyles. I believe we are all one being either way though and it also helps to see things as really, just magnificent. We're are brilliant to have created our own world/reality, even with all the pain and suffering, which I think is part of what balances and keeps us here, there is also so much beauty and love to experience, and even if we have experienced it for infinity I'd do anything to not go back to black, dark, nothingness. It's really all up to you though to help you self get past this ( you may have already, didn't catch how old this post is) fear is still all in your mind, and if your like me, I was able to enjoy myself before learning too much, and I've been able to find myself in that peaceful state from time to time. Hope you figure it all out.

 

[pdludbrooke]

I had this same experience, and it was my 2nd time, the 1st time was not at all powerful, I only did a small dose and got some visuals, but it was terrifying! my experience the second time was bloody terrifying, I only had a small dose as well, I loaded 40mg for me and a friend to share just so we could see the visuals, but I lit the bowl and flickered the flame till it began to vapourize and I inhaled and in an instant, everything went digital and time seemed to stop, it felt like I was there forever just me so terrifying I can only remember then I felt the need to tell something about my dog, that she was the most beautiful thing and her name is Molly and I love her with all my heart, it was then I was released and I came back to reality feeling bloody so glad and filled with peace and love. I still now get flash backs and at first they began to cause nearly full on anxiety attacks, I have realised something though, the anxiety attacks occur when I start trying to work out in my mind the nature of reality with the experience I had and what I believe is the mind cannot understand the nature of reality it cannot know anything it places label on things and then moves on to the next thing, my advice to you is realise you are not your mind, you are the observer, the unmanifested the unborn, the eternal, the mind can never understand this, the mind is a tool and should be used as such. I send you love and blessings, you are not all there is you are not alone and the way you know this is by feeling how you feel when you look at your experience this time on DMT and remember it, how does it feel ? Wrong ? yes ? You know deep down in yourself when something is right, you get that "can't be put in to words" feeling and it feels so certain in every way! you get a beautiful feeling of love filling you.DMT is very powerful, it shows many things and opens you up to many experiences, it takes you on a trip, away from your normal perception of reality, you need to know you took a substance and what you experienced was from taking it. I hope you see that! look in your heart, that is where the truth is, thinking is of the mind and it knows nothing of the truth, the truth is in your heart!

 

[lyricabuddy]

Resurrecting this thread after years off of BL- epic read while on high 2nd plateau dose dxm. Great food for thought. Will continue investigating, hopefully I will be in the right place to try DMT some day.

Edit: Mods please keep this active as I think it is a productive discussion that deserves as much visibility as possible.

 

[didier.johnson]

Hey guys, I just stumbled upon this thread and thought I'd give you guys a little update. It seems are lot of you are worried about me which I appreciate but just so you all know I am fine now. I rarely trip on anything these days, I've had a few one tab acid trips nothing to write home about, but mainly just smoke weed. My mentality is a lot different these days, I do occasionally get moments where I still feel like I'm the only one that exists but they were unpowerful and brief moments. There were two occasions where I had a flashback to this trip, one time when i was really high like a month or two after the experience and I misinterpreted something whilst high that led me back to that perspective and after about 15 mins of mild torture I realised my misinterpretation and it was fine. The other time was a good 2 years after the experience at least and I had found out my girlfriend had cheated on me, the night I found out I again decided to smoke a bunch of weed in an attempt to relieve the pain but instead I kinda went really negative, I was thinking I was the only one that exists and I get some sick enjoyment in torturing myself but again that was pretty brief also. Not sure if those two flashbacks have any real significance at all but it seems a lot of people are interested in this experience so I thought I would mention them.

Also I have found it interesting to see that a lot of other people have had a similar experience and would be interested to hear a very specifically detailed report in my inbox if anyone feels like sharing, we can match the characteristics of the trips and try to find some common ground. It seems like a lot of people cycle through "feeling as though you're the only one" and "feeling as though you're the only one and everyone else is also the only one", to this day I get brief moments of both in my everyday life and remain a very philosophical person and enjoy writing papers on metaphysics, which I would almost definitely never have gotten in to without these trips.

Another thing a lot of people are mentioning in response is that this is just a big ego trip, although I am open to all possibilities I find it hard to agree with this one. I've heard it being labelled as arrogant and selfish, if only. I wish I were feeling so big during the experience but the truth is I felt smaller than one could ever imagine, I've not even come remotely close to the sheer pain and agony I felt during this experience in my everyday life. Even upon the realisation that my girlfriend who I had loved had cheated on me even that didn't scrape the soul torture I had in this experience. I get the logic that could lead one to the arrogant and selfish conclusion, but I believe it to be misdirected and wrong I believe my ego was utterly destroyed within seconds of inhaling from that pipe.

One thing I would say for anyone trying DMT and looking to avoid a trip like this one or any kind of devastating trip, is to respect the substance and I mean really respect the substance. In my experience and in nearly all of the other horrific bad DMT trips I have researched since there seems to be one common theme with all of these trips and it's that of being casual, not taking the substance to grow within onself but to use it for a bit of casual fun or for some form of shallow desire, also another theme is overusing it, from what I've read frequent use of DMT will eventually always lead to a trip negative in nature like this one. You need to use the substance with the right intentions and sparingly.

My feelings of DMT at present day are that there is definitely something to this substance, I don't believe it's just your mind playing tricks on you, I am open to the possibility but I honestly feel if that is the case then I feel we don't know anywhere near as much about human psychology as a species as we think we do. I think this is a portal of sorts to alternate dimensions and I feel that as a species it is something we should explore. I personally am respectfully bowing out of this particular research project haha, but I do feel there are potential benefits of others exploring these realms with the right intentions, one thing I would say is pretty much everytime I took DMT mild pre breakthrough trips included is that I really felt I was peeking behind a curtain that I wasn't supposed to, I don't think I ever had a DMT trip where that feeling wasn't present and yet I still kept delving and perhaps that is why I was punished in the way I was who knows.

Anyway as others have mentioned this thread has been a great read, so many brilliant responses, theories and experience reports shared by all of you and I'm glad I decided to pour my heart out about this experience when I did as reading your guys responses has made me feel a lot better about everything and please feel free to continuing to contribute to this thread I'll try and stay a bit more active on here if anyone would like to message me directly. Regardless of whatever the nature of reality is, much love to you all

 

[Volsam]

Yeah, great thread! :D

I think its absolutely normal to feel that you are the only thing in the Universe because its true. But the same truth applies to any living being, when you strip it of it's memories (and thus ego). I think that all life comes from a singular unifying source that is experiencing physical reality as many, and that's why we have that fleeting feeling of "oneness" so often.

DMT is extremely effective at stripping you down from your conscious memories and it may cause distressing thoughts for a long time after the first deep run. To avoid it, I have found, just like didier.johnson and many others, the substance needs to be respected and will require preparations. We get prepared thoroughly for a trip to another country, so how come we dive in to the experience that feels like a space travel without having a single thought of preparation?..8(

I highly recommend to devote a whole day to it, meditate the best you can before going in, say mantras, prayers, perform a whole ritual for it. DMT will reward you if you take it seriously and will show you the fun side of it - the circus of our reality is hilarious, sad, intimidating, euphoric and unbelievable - DMT lets you have it all at the same time.

 

[vegan]

Hi
I don't have the time to read the whole thread, so sorry if what I say repeats something that has been said, or is out of topic.

Another way to look at the "I'm the only one that exists" paradigm" is "There's only one thing that exists, and I am it".

If you consider the famous quote "We are all one (unique universal) consciousness experiencing itself subjectively", there's nothing sad about it anymore.
Everything still exists; but you also happen to be this everything, not just the isolated self you're used to.

Think of it as leaves on a tree. Negative leaves may each think "I'm a leaf from the only tree", while a more positive approach would be for all the leaves to think "We're all the tree".