Party2hardy
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2022
- Messages
- 2
Long post warning 
I am new to posting on this site. I’ve been reading discussions on here for years. I’ve always found this to be a helpful and informative site, but now I find myself needing some help and advice from the community.
Background:
I’m in my early 20s, recently graduated from college, and I’ve been experimenting/abusing drugs since I was 14. It started out just smoking weed with a close friend after watching Mac & Devin go to High School (Snoop & Wiz movie). Kind of a hilarious beginning to my experimentation. Around that time we would sneak booze from our parents every once in a while, but smoking and drinking were very infrequent cause we didn’t have much access to it at that age. It became more frequent throughout high school and I started trying opioids, benzos, and acid. Pills were never my thing but I fell in love with acid (how can you not). I also started stealing booze from my parents at least once a week, usually just getting plastered by myself. I had a 9 month period of sobriety going into senior year after being charged with a felony for possession of weed, and I was placed on supervised probation. As soon as that was over I got right back into it, and hit it harder than I ever had. When college came around it continued to progress due to all the freedom I had. I couldn’t even guess how many nights I blacked out and did terrible things that I only knew about from my ex-girlfriend or friends.
Start of the bad times:
When COVID hit, I stayed on campus living in my Frat with a handful of other guys and my ex. Classes were such a joke at that time that all we did was drink. I was probably averaging 20 beers on days I remember and god knows how many on the ones I don’t. A few months in my ex broke up with me because she couldn’t handle my bullshit anymore. This put me in a spiral where I was killing at least a 30 rack a day in my bed with the door locked so I wouldn’t have to face my roommates. I’d usually pass out around 5pm and wake up in the middle of the night staring at the clock until it was 6am and I could get another case. After a month or so I started seeing my ex again just to get drunk and fuck because she drank just as much as me. Finally I pushed her over the edge and she cut me off completely. Shortly after I met a new girl, and it was the complete opposite of the toxic relationship I had. I still drank most days but I had cut down a lot so that nobody could tell I was ever drunk. After a while I cut that out because I was finally happy. Although when I was about a year into the relationship I blacked out one night which turned into a bad situation for my relationship. I salvaged it but that’s when coke came into the picture. I’d done it a few times before but only when others had it. In the beginning of this I was using it to prevent blackouts cause if sobered me up but it turned into a problem after a bit. I was drinking and snorting lines by myself usually just watching tv while I did it. I stopped for a few months after getting my first post-grad job which also helped my drinking by turning it into a weekend social thing. After a few months at the job I started to hate it. I started drinking before work, on my lunch break, and on my way home. Coke came back full force with this. Eventually I started calling into work multiple times a week and I would just sit in my car and drink until my girlfriend (who I was living with) expected me to be home. This caused me to lose my job which only made the situation worse. I was out of work for a few months and finally got a new job but these habits didn’t die off. I still have my job but after having a psychotic break from drinking I may have lost my girlfriend. I’m trying to get sober but I still find myself drinking everyday and snorting anywhere from 1-3GS of coke a day
Any advice to Start changing my life? I see the path I’m going down and I don’t like it. Rehab is my last resort because I’m not sure how I can keep my job during that.
Sorry for the long ass post. Just have a lot of shit to get off my chest.
I am new to posting on this site. I’ve been reading discussions on here for years. I’ve always found this to be a helpful and informative site, but now I find myself needing some help and advice from the community.
Background:
I’m in my early 20s, recently graduated from college, and I’ve been experimenting/abusing drugs since I was 14. It started out just smoking weed with a close friend after watching Mac & Devin go to High School (Snoop & Wiz movie). Kind of a hilarious beginning to my experimentation. Around that time we would sneak booze from our parents every once in a while, but smoking and drinking were very infrequent cause we didn’t have much access to it at that age. It became more frequent throughout high school and I started trying opioids, benzos, and acid. Pills were never my thing but I fell in love with acid (how can you not). I also started stealing booze from my parents at least once a week, usually just getting plastered by myself. I had a 9 month period of sobriety going into senior year after being charged with a felony for possession of weed, and I was placed on supervised probation. As soon as that was over I got right back into it, and hit it harder than I ever had. When college came around it continued to progress due to all the freedom I had. I couldn’t even guess how many nights I blacked out and did terrible things that I only knew about from my ex-girlfriend or friends.
Start of the bad times:
When COVID hit, I stayed on campus living in my Frat with a handful of other guys and my ex. Classes were such a joke at that time that all we did was drink. I was probably averaging 20 beers on days I remember and god knows how many on the ones I don’t. A few months in my ex broke up with me because she couldn’t handle my bullshit anymore. This put me in a spiral where I was killing at least a 30 rack a day in my bed with the door locked so I wouldn’t have to face my roommates. I’d usually pass out around 5pm and wake up in the middle of the night staring at the clock until it was 6am and I could get another case. After a month or so I started seeing my ex again just to get drunk and fuck because she drank just as much as me. Finally I pushed her over the edge and she cut me off completely. Shortly after I met a new girl, and it was the complete opposite of the toxic relationship I had. I still drank most days but I had cut down a lot so that nobody could tell I was ever drunk. After a while I cut that out because I was finally happy. Although when I was about a year into the relationship I blacked out one night which turned into a bad situation for my relationship. I salvaged it but that’s when coke came into the picture. I’d done it a few times before but only when others had it. In the beginning of this I was using it to prevent blackouts cause if sobered me up but it turned into a problem after a bit. I was drinking and snorting lines by myself usually just watching tv while I did it. I stopped for a few months after getting my first post-grad job which also helped my drinking by turning it into a weekend social thing. After a few months at the job I started to hate it. I started drinking before work, on my lunch break, and on my way home. Coke came back full force with this. Eventually I started calling into work multiple times a week and I would just sit in my car and drink until my girlfriend (who I was living with) expected me to be home. This caused me to lose my job which only made the situation worse. I was out of work for a few months and finally got a new job but these habits didn’t die off. I still have my job but after having a psychotic break from drinking I may have lost my girlfriend. I’m trying to get sober but I still find myself drinking everyday and snorting anywhere from 1-3GS of coke a day
Any advice to Start changing my life? I see the path I’m going down and I don’t like it. Rehab is my last resort because I’m not sure how I can keep my job during that.
Sorry for the long ass post. Just have a lot of shit to get off my chest.
