hey guys, i was wondering if ANYONE could help me out in this very difficult time of mine with some type of reassurance or hope. my heart goes out to all the sufferers on this page as before this time i didnt realize how many people are damaged now i know first hand. before stating whats wrong i wanna genuinely give my heartfelt thank to everyone of you posters and people who reply who seek to help all these people in this time of distress. this experience that im going through has hit a total 180 in my life as before this my life was perfect and this has changed me forever (if i recover definitely for the positive.) it has definately brought my awareness of how ignorant i was thinking without testing or severely trusting my source how damaging ingesting unknown chemicals can be to my body thinking i was prone to injury.
Hi Mike, I can certainly try.
I'm sorry for the late replies - it's the one area which I'm struggling with, but I'd rather not create a template and use that to reply to anyone who is asking questions regarding their LTC.
So uh, yes, unfortunately we are not invincible, and there are certainly some very toxic, inherently deadly substances out there. And anyone who knowingly and deliberately decides to sell them as actual MDMA to unassuming consumers for no other reason than to profit financially is a very disgusting, disgraceful human being who should be locked up for the rest of his or her life.
In my case, PMA was the first of such substances which made headlines due to a string of deaths mainly among young adults. And even if I don't personally know the victims, I've always found it heartbreaking to read about them. And if the person responsible happens to be caught, I find myself full of animosity towards him or her, because these people seem to consider the life of a human being as devoid of any value, which it's anything but.
I just need some support im 5 weeks alcohol free and 6 weeks weed free but i feel as if im severely/permanently damaged. now i know what ur gonna say "everyone says that, ur just seeing it darker than it is u will recover" but i feel as if my scenario is different. its not like i just had an overdose or excess amount of mdma/coke etc or went on a binge for years and feel a little brain fog and depressed but generally ok. i unknowingly and very stupidly ingested some type of research chemical/ bathroom chemicals god knows what that was sold to me as molly without testing it from a used to be friend of mine that convinced me it was good. turns out it was the opposite of that. it wasnt even enjoyable at all it just caused an altered state so i have no idea what it was. now im so scared because idk what it was/ in it and i know there are things out there 100x more nuerotoxic than the classic meth/coke/mdma and a lot more unforgiving in the recovery process and we dont know the type of damage these mystery chemicals do.
I'm sure that you're very worried, and I know this is an extremely difficult time for you, as it was for me when I was sick.
I have some good news and some bad news to tell you, should you wish to read it:
The bad news is that, since you seem to not know what exactly it was that you consumed, it's unlikely that we will be able to simply guess which one it was based on the information you've provided so far, as there are hundreds of so-called research chemicals currently being synthesized and passed around to anyone who wants to take the risk and try it.
The good news:
- You are still alive, even if you don't feel like your old self.
- You don't come across like you have sustained significant brain damage due to an especially neurotoxic substance/research chemical.
- You can list symptoms for us, which we can then use to our advantage in order to attempt to "reverse engineer" (for lack of a better term) what type of mind altering substance you consumed.
- You can describe how the substance smelled, tasted, looked, felt, and so forth. This can also help us try to figure out what you consumed that made you ill.
Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions (mental or physical)? I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but it helps to know because it can influence how you react to recreational drug use.
Were you taking any prescription medications during (or around) the time when you consumed the mystery drug? For example, if you were on Prozac (Fluoxetine), and stopped using it days in advance of using the mystery drug, it wouldn't be enough time, as Prozac takes several weeks to fully be eliminated from the body. Therefore, it's possible that there was a drug interaction - assuming you were on Prozac, or any other drugs with a long half-life.
Have you seen your family physician regarding your LTC? How about a psychiatrist? And has there been any blood testing, diagnostic imaging, etc. done?
If you don't wanna share this information on here, I completely understand. At the very least however, I recommend you seek medical attention.
i go back and forth being optimistic then doubtful cuz i know the brain is remarkable in the ways it can recover and regenerate such as nueroregeneration and how addicts can save and recover their brain, but then i read how it really depends the severity of stress it was under/chemicals it was exposed to as some nuerotoxic damage is permanent and already done such as axons destroyed or nuerons killed or communication disrupted and the cns is unlikely to recover from that damage.
The brain is remarkable in that it is able to adapt to damage. Unfortunately, this usually takes a lot of time and effort.
This is precisely why (for example) a person who has had a stroke which has caused the person to lose the ability to speak English needs several months to years in order to relearn how to speak - because the brain is now using another part of it to store information related to being able to understand, read, and speak English.
I don't know if you know the story of the Arizona congresswoman who was shot in the head and survived? It happened in 2011 in Tucson, Arizona.
Her name is Gabrielle Giffords. She had a bullet pierce her brain matter, and somehow she survived, but was left with some understandably serious issues afterwards.
Well, after 2 years of therapy, she is able to speak English again almost as well as she was before she was shot.
So trust me when I say that you can recover also if you take care of yourself.
It's important (in my opinion) to take this time to focus on your health and recovery, and to do the following to help speed up the process:
- Avoid any alcohol, caffeine, tobacco/nicotine, marijuana, and any other mind altering substances.
- Avoid anyone who is a bad influence on you (e.g. someone who will tempt you with drugs)
- Take about 6 months off of work and/or school if possible in order to minimize stress due to workload, expectations, pressure, responsibilities, etc. Stress is horrible for anyone who is trying to recover from a LTC (almost as bad as drug use with respect to the strain placed on the body, and the hormones released as a result such as cortisol).
- Take up a hobby which will help you keep your mind occupied without the need for much mental or physical exertion (because constantly thinking about the fact that you're sick won't help you).
- Cardio-based exercise has been shown to stimulate neurogenesis, so try to get at least 30 minutes every morning. It also causes the body to flood itself with endorphins, which will make you feel high (also known as a runner's high). The first couple of weeks will be the hardest by far, but afterwards you won't want to stop.
- Be weary of herbal supplements, because they are not regulated strictly enough (they are routinely found to contain bunk ingredients, and sometimes even dangerous ones).
- Establish a relationship with anyone who you feel will support you without judging, and who is a healthy influence.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness, Breathing Exercises, and/or Autonomous Meridian Sensory Response can help you to better cope with symptoms.
- Accept the fact that you'll have to let go of some of the people and/or habits you really care about, because if not, they will only serve to drag you down further.
now i have the classic depersonalization/ derealization symptoms which honestly is the least of my worries considering its a common symptom that goes away and i can ignore it for the most part ( even though its extremely annoying and wish i could go back to normal and feel in the moment) twitches, fatigue etc. but my most worried symptoms is i literally have ZERO sensation upon orgasm and my adverse effects to marijuana. i know not smoking weed shouldnt be one of my top worries but i rolled/tripped for fun occasionally but weed is like my PASSION. my one and true love, its not like its just something to do when im bored or fun sometimes or just a phase like i planned a whole future with it, smoking with future gfs moving to cali like im an enthusiast. and now my other love (sex) is stripped away from me as well so i cant even enjoy the other pleasure of life. alcohol doesnt even make me feel good. i get drunk but dont feel good. And i am a very experienced smoker (5 times a week for years) its not like my adverse effect is im "trippin" or "too high" or get paranoid it LITERALLY doesnt induce a weed high. my eyes dilate, n i get a tingling wired opiate like feeling tht feels terrible n i pass out unconscious for like 5 seconds. idk if its a seretonin/ communication problem or damaged receptors or axons but its like anything tht releases dopamine and seretonin i cant feel.
I used to love smoking weed, but one day I started getting all paranoid and did not feel anymore pleasure from it. Is that brain damage? I don't know, but it was my cue to let go, and I had did. And you may have to as well.
With respect to the lack of body euphoria during orgasm, it's difficult to say. If it's not due to medication, then perhaps the mystery drug may be the culprit. I'd see my family physician about this.
SSRIs can cause sexual dysfunction in some people - luckily I'm not one of them.
its the craziest thing ive never xp b4 in my life. so my two loves sex and weed have been taken from me, and if its permanent im looking at a long life of missery and depression thinking i ruined my life over ONE night of bad drugs. it just blows my mind meth users go on binges for years and i take one bad drug and get fucked like this. i just want my life back and will do anything, ive already learned my lesson the hard away and just hope to god its not forever, im a good person and got fucked over for a couple bucks. if u do reply plz check back again cuz i WILL reply back and love to discuss it further.
if ANYONE could reach out, reply even pm me it would mean the world. thanks, god bless and be safe.
Life is not fair, I'm sorry to say. Countless people suffer needlessly every day - their quality of life so low that many of them want to be euthanized, but their government won't allow that.
I know you may feel like your case is especially severe, but the truth is that many people here are in the same position as you are (and as I once was). They too consumed what they thought was MDMA, and for some, it was their only time doing so. And just like that, they are now suffering as well, and they are confused, afraid, worried, scared, frustrated, and wondering when (if ever) this nightmare will end.
As long as the government continues their ridiculous war on drugs, I'm afraid that the cases of so-called LTCs will rise exponentially because of all this fake shit going around, but also because many of the few people who have constant access to high purity MDMA are using it very recklessly.
There is a way out of this where you can get back to normal, but it will take time, effort, discipline, acceptance, and most importantly patience. There is no quick-fix solution, no magic pill, no "easy button." Not that I know of anyways. I wish I could be more specific than that with respect to what you need to do to recover, but I can't. You may require prescription medication to recover, or you may not. It depends on how you are 'wired,' so to speak, as we are all unique.
Good luck with everything; please be sure to reply to my questions if you wish; if you feel completely overwhelmed by this (as in, you're gonna lose it), seek medical attention a.s.a.p.