Hello, I’m brand new to this but I’ve been looking at this site for years now. I finally decided to join and I’m looking forward to the advice. I have felt pretty alone for a while now! Okay, I am almost 32 and I used meth for the first time at 19…I think. I got extremely addicted to roxys and shooting up whichever one I could get a hold of (my baby’s father was an addict too but also a paramedic so that was easy) I lived in such denial about my “drug of choice” because I always claimed opiates but recently I’ve thought about it and I have always circled back to meth. Anyway, I’m sorry I get to rambling! Back then the meth gave me euphoria and my pupils would be huge, which I did not like at all. I enjoyed talking and chatting it up with whoever I was with. I have been out of that area for a while now but before I moved to where I am now I had started using it again but it was much different. Maybe it felt like…a small dose of adderall..? It was not at all the same and I had not used it in a couple of years. I’ve had clean time here and there throughout the years. I started using again once I found people down here that use. It was just like the last time I used it back home. There is no euphoria at all, I have just a faint energy but I can just go to sleep. I got paranoid very very bad and that’s it. It was me becoming the person that I did not know and I hate to admit this but I got a case of meth mites and I absolutely believed with everything in me that something was wrong and we had bugs. I’m ashamed. I even went to the ER once at 1:00 in the morning and they gave me Ativan while I was there and a prescription because of the way I was acting. I guess I’m trying to figure out why it is that I can’t feel any sort of high on it and certainly no euphoria or clenched jaws. I only almost got myself put in a mental institution but there was no actual high. Can anyone help me? Is this just where I live and it’s not meth at all now? Thank you to anyone that read my rambling on and on. I appreciate the ability to ask other people what they think from their experiences and I absolutely appreciate that this site exists and I can be myself. Have a good night/morning!