@cosmic charlie , that sucks man. I hope that you get to stay. But even if you don't, you have to tell yourself that going on a relapse binge and ending up in prison just isn't an option. When we tell ourselves that these things will happen, we are basically pre-allowing it to happen... it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. yeah, it'll be stressful, but it doesn't mean you have to relapse.
Mean, hopefully i get enough time here to find a room. Im gonna be looking and calling places today, ive got like 3.6k in my savings account and i work 6 days a week so financially im gonna be able to swing it. Well my dreams of the dissos collection are being put on hold now, lol.
At least i got all that FXE, my other 25g's will be here anyday now. Im gonna order 10g's next week of O-DSMT from a domestic dude cuz im paranoid about suddenly being cut off from the Buprenorphine and i cant wait for it to come from China even tho it would be so much cheaper. Actually just dropped my Bupe dose to 2mgs today just in case. Havent been at 4mgs long so it shouldnt be to hard, and if i start feeling off i will just take Memantine, thankfully i still got quite a bit more.
One sealed box of 60 tablets 10mgs up there in Connecticut and then i have a two boxes on me here just about 115 tabs, stashed up real good, its a decent amount. Im obviously not trying to spiral my dude but if i cant find a place to live and they tell me i have to leave and im faced with the streets again. Well im not turning myself in if i get violated and im going back up to NYC to ruff it for awhile. The cops dont bother you up there and i had a warrant one time for 5 years in the city and i never once got stopped by the police.
What i will do when i get up there is shoot up 100mgs of O-DSMT when i wake up and then around 5pm shoot up another 100mgs. Probably mix some FXE in the shots for good measure and spend quite some time in a hole drowning my sorrows, lol. Im gonna be alright man i have had a really hard life and faced stuff like this before, built tuff. And when they catch me someday it is what it is and ill just read alot of books and work out, prison is whatever it will be my third time going back.
This is all me being catastrophic mentally and hopefully none of this comes to be. Im gonna keep going to work like everything is fine and stacking up money until shit hits the fan. Its gonna be alright, if im still alive its not over yet and i wont give up fighting. If i have to live on the streets again for awhile, shit happens.
Just feel sorry for my girlfriend right now this is really hard on her, and she is living in a split level house with her kids on the top floor with her. And her ex and his parents on the bottom floor. So obviously i cant move there it would be weird...