Okay, so to answer the first question, it took me years to go from lurker and frequent searcher of forums relating to topics I’d be looking for, anything from mixing certain pills to the effects of drugs such as shrooms and micro dosing, Molly, potentiating substances and how to make the most of the highs. Tonight, I finally broke and decided to create this account because I’ve come to accept that part of me is the desire to explore my reality through using substances. Sometimes, just getting a good relaxing high from opiates and benzos, rarely coke cuz I just fucking hate how much shitty cut ruins my nose for days afterwards and I can’t find fantastic shit around here, and also more recently, I’ve been dabbling with psychedelics, shrooms, and unfortunately only tried Molly once, but certainly looking forward to my next experience with it, because while intense, it was truly “eye opening” heh. Heh get it. Yeah. I had come to find Bluelight by searching my question terms at the time and ALWAYS finding that the obscure answers I was looking for can be found on the forums of Bluelight, not some page for a drug rehab, not any kind of WebMD article, but the forums that users like myself post experiences on. That’s the real deal and that’s what I was looking for.
When I first looked into Bluelight, I had tried weed and cocaine, some opiates and probably even heroin at the time as well, but it’s just been within the last year that I’ve really upped the ante with heavy edible use and exploring the realm of psychedelics and I’m sure, with more research and knowledge acquired on Bluelight, I will be curious to try new and different things to expand my experiences even further, hopefully without unaliving myself because I do worry about the affects on my heart. I’m only 33, but ya never know.
When I had first been browsing Bluelight, not yet a member or posting at all, I was only smoking pot, eating edibles and snorting pills and heroin. I have since been off heroin for over 10 years, but now I do take suboxone under the tongue. Every once in a while, when I can get my hands on a good opiate, I will stop the subs for a couple days to enjoy an intense high, then resume subs again. I also suffer from extreme social anxiety and PTSD, I see a therapist and a psychiatrist, but because I have a history of treatment with Suboxone in my file, they absolutely refuse to prescribe me benzodiazepines, so I get them however I can. Never snorted a Xanax, because that’s a waste. And even back when I was using heroin, I’ve never tried using a needle. I’ve seen many do it, but I never felt like I needed to experience the high that way because I’ve always gotten enough and sometimes even, too much of a buzz from just snorting it! I’m what I’d consider a functioning addict. I go to bed relatively early every night, I wake up at 6am, get to work for 7, work Monday though Friday and on the weekends, I enjoy myself here and there. Not every weekend, but when the moneys right and the vibe is there, why not. Feels good to finally be able to express this part of me and not feel ashamed to do so. I have a couple friends that are addicts, but fentanyl, unfortunately…just completely changes a person, so where I’ve been dabbling with psychedelics and wanting to expand my creativity, my friend since high school just needs to maintain her fentanyl intake so she doesn’t get sick, and therefore, doesn’t enjoy a whole lot of what this life has to offer, which the way I see it, on drugs or not, is a lot of beautiful and well worth the time here things, experiences, memories, and feelings. Thanks for reading if anyone got through this monster of a reply!
