Hi,
I'm done. I have access to unlimited amount of tramadol, different kind of benzos, and alcohol naturally. I've got pretty high tolerance to all of those. I just want to go to sleep and continue somewhere else.
Do you think that 4000mg tramadol, 300mg diazepam and 1L of vodka is sufficient amount to do go? I don't want to survive in vegetable state or with some severe brain injury.
I feel you so desperately. I agonise waking from peaceful sleep sometimes. If death is sleep, then maybe it is solace. We don't know, we wonder could another life be worse than this? We become absorbed in our hell so much so, that we don't open our mind to this. I think it would be a tremendously gruesome way to go. Please listen to our words, share another conversation with another human on here. Another being in the same world of pain as you. I take your hand and bless you, I send you the love of my heart, love which I sustain for any being in pain such as the pain I know. Find some solace in the unity with your fellow souls, We need not lose the fight today. Tomorrow is pure uncertainty. We are used to seeing repetition, but one day a cycle will break in some small way. We have no idea how delicate our situations really are, it takes only a small thing to set a positive feedback loop into motion. Every day we survive, our chances of health are increased. The more you try, the more likely you are to win. Remind yourself of the hope that sustained you all up to this point. This spark still glimmers, the love in our hearts is still glowing, clouded by an opaque and thick darkness. Search deep inside, for love. There is love, love for life. Love for those passed, love for strangers. Love is the antidote to this hell. We are unlucky beings, in an unfair place. This is true, but do not hyper fixate on the pain. We are programmed with our disorderly brains to hyper fixate on the negative, but your conscience knows better than this. Everyday we survive, just distract ourselves a bit. Anything to see out another day, please try to see out another day at least for me. I will try myself also. These disorders we possess, we were born with. But as something can be disorderly, it can be reorganised and made orderly. Science perseveres whilst we sit idle, our cures may only be days, weeks away. Hold out in the probable future of cure. We will rejoice once again, fulfil our long lost and ravaged desires, with all the ferocity and joy that we anticipated. We have to stop taking the weight of tomorrow on our shoulders today and do what we must, to survive. Please hold on my friend, I don't want to lose you. One day we can be the reason some other suffering soul can find peace, we can help others suffering. Please stay. You are needed here, there is a plan for all of us. I wish I could give you a hug, and you could forget your suffering for a short while.
I hope you're feeling okay today.
