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-The- Heroin & Opioid Mega Discussion Thread (Volumes 1+2 Merged)

tripnotyzm said:
but this time have found a codeine source as well as enough diazepam to last me..
I was wondering if you guys think these meds will do much in assisting
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Lucky for you! Take the opportunity and try your best. I wish I had anything to help ease things for me but it's not possible for me at the moment. Finances and upcoming u/a. Just stretch it, like wait until you really need it. Best of luck, you can do it!
 
Good luck, BagLady10! You are wrestling with a monster that changes its fighting style every day. Good luck! You know where to find all the opiate withdrawal / addiction guides and stuff? (Check the stickied posts on Sober Living page.)
 
Best of luck baglady.
im on ***day 2***
a friend gave me some phenibut to chill me out when things are getting whacky. Im saving that for when i am desperate.
last night i replaced heroin with a cocktail of other substances >_< i guess it worked.. i didn't get any dope and i feel like i dodged the bullet quite easily.
but still, something just doesnt feel wholesome about replacing on substance with a handful.. doh..
anyway, better than hez!
 
bagochina said:
I have been hit with almost a solid week of dope dreams. It doesn't really bother me but it kinda sucks waking up, laying in bed, and opening my eyes and having my thoughts flooded with scoring scenarios. Drug dreams are nothing new and I hear they go in cycles I am right around 6 months clean from opiates.

Last night I was in a house and my old friends were in the house over partying. Snorting lines off the hood of a car. I was in this house and it reminded me of some over-the-top Greek home decor. There were these huge marble columns with large vases in between. I remember being so angry that they weren't coming over to see me. Like what the fuck? I wasnt good enough to party their heroin, please. I ended up sneaking out of the house and running thru the woods. They followed me but I lost them in a golf course. There were all these tin? shacks like you would see in Jamaican ghettos except they were mansions with large sliding glass doors and perfect interiors. I paused at the last one and just stared inside and noticed a lady just lounging on a well modern looking lounge chair. It seemed so peaceful and serene. Almost what I seem to be looking for in life.

At least I am not waking up after slamming a shot of dope in my arm, man those dreams suck. This one though I can almost see the struggles I am dealing with though. Not using, alone, friends partying, pissed because I cant party, running away, being followed by the drugs, and finally a peaceful calm. Kinda brings me hope from an alternate reality, shrug.

peace.
seedless
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i started getting high in my dreams. you know those dreams when you are trying to get a doc to script or searching an empty house for old pill bottles or buying a gram off someone? id find the pills or dope and get high, ten wake up sober. even worse....
 
What you have to so is break the cycle, get out tell someone you trust, just do it. You are worth it. The world needs you to help the young ones who havent picked up yet, ty and good luck
 
Keep reading your ost and tell yourself, that was me and now its not. tell yourself what you want to be and do it one day at a time. 1 minute at a time, you will get better.
 
Honestly, I think the only real reason I'm not using right now is money....It wouldn't be worth the mess, all the risk, etc. for the amount I'm now able to barely afford.

Some days, due to the mess my last relapse caused, I feel like "what's the point, I'll never recover financially so why try?" I'm sure that is just negative thinking taking over. Yes, I may never get back all of the money I wasted...but I can still make a difference somehow in this world, and have a good life.

I want to say that this thread is awesome, and thank you to each and every one of you that typed out what you were thinking, feeling, going through. This thread touched me deeply as I feel a deep connection to everyone going through it.

Something I feel is worth mentioning is that each time I have stopped using opiate I never lost that restless, anxiety ridden feeling that I lived with my entire life....the very feeling that using suppressed. This past relapse had/forced me into a position of looking at what was really wrong w me....

I was diagnosed w "bipolar 2" It's difficult to diagnose-for the most part as the individual seems well-adjusted. When asked what I most dislike about myself, and would like to change, it is my temper. I don't fly off the handle real easily, it's just that when I flip out-all hell breaks loose. It is very damaging...Although my temper is done quickly, I have hurt the people I love during those 10-15mins.

And I also damage things...i.e. breaking things and then I'm like "shit!! Why did I do that?!" I was put on neurotin for nerve-pain. And found that it makes me more even-keeled. I don't live in as severe of an anxiety-ridden, panicked state as I have my entire life.

That being figured out has helped tremendously. It's not some magic fix or anything. I still crave using...even after all I went through. In fact, I still find myself rationalizing how I could use "occasionally", the very thing that is the furthest thing from the truth, and started the nightmare I'm only just coming out of. I keep hearing that being honest about that fact, is a huge help for being successful at recovering.

I have been through so much, lost so much, am so sick of all of it, that I truly am only able to take it a tiny bit at time. Thankyou again to everyone that shared in this thread. It truly is what "fellowshipping" is in my definition, anyway. <3
 
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Umm this is super old but I couldn't have said it better myself "heroin is a job". But lucky for you, you can quit after months and then start back up. You must not be physically addicted to it
 
I am 3 days clean. It became too expensive as my tolerance got so
high. I was spending 65 every 2 days. Not cool when I have all my
house bills myself!!
 
keep up the good work, it will be uphill for another couple days, but once you get over that hump you will feel a little better. Once you start feeling better I would start putting a plan together on how to stay sober.
 
Trying Day 1..Norco taper..
Daily dose of 2x5mg twice a day.. Years..
Off and on with Trams

Want my life back. Has sucked all the life out of me.. Was sober for 25 years then car accident, Yada Yada... You know the story
Now really depressed...

Nice forum group. Happy holidays
Will try to stay in touch.
 
Day 2.
Keepin' on.. Cutting by 50% and no Trams..
Vitamins and exercise attempts.. Really got out of my groove..
Lots of negative s##t thoughts..
 
Jim,
Keep up the good work, and make sure your taper keeps going in the right direction.... less, not more pills as the days go on. I have a similar background... I was in recovery, clean and sober, for about 10-11 years, got in a car accident, and fell in love with oxy's. Had a "great" doc... who, by the way, was slammed by the DEA, by then I was hooked.
I went cold turkey in 2013, stayed clean until 2014, over a year, and got back due to arthritic knee issues, and yes... I missed them. But now, I am broke from the pain management doc appointment, and scripts. So, on a taper... down to 1 15 mg oxy, and then 1/2 - 1 oxy an hour later, with no opiates each day about 23 hours. I can't jump off yet... tonight, I met with a consulting client, so will take my 1-2 oxy right before. I am hurting... and I do use prescribed Ativan and gabapentin to sleep at night. I hope the worst of the w/d are now... cuz when I do jump off, I don't want to go thru hell.
 
Just rip the band aid off and go for it once can bro! Ur just kicking the can down the road ATM and ur gonna have to go through it eventually so might as well do it on ur own terms if u know what I mean? I tried to kick recently but it just didn't work out so be stronger than me and just tough it out man, you'll be proud of yourself and glad u did it... Good luck and god bless!
Ps- loperamide(immodium) works great and u can taper off that way easier than ur doc! They got it at dollar tree for a buck a box if ur in the states. I took a box(24mg) coming off a bundle of heroin a day habit and it got rid of all my horrifying physical wd symptoms! Give it a shot if u find yourself losing the battle...
 
Okay so I took about 3mg of suboxone yesterday so about 24 hours ago, mind u this is the first time I have taken suboxone in years. If I try to take oxycodone now will I feel it? Thank you!
 
Before the suboxone, what was your habit like? How much oxycodone are you thinking of taking?

Depend on the doses of oxycodone you plan on taking. But if you take to much oxycocodone make sure someone has naloxone and knows how to use it around. Playing with fire. I'd suggest starting at 20mg, which you may or may not feel depending on you previous habit, and working your way up to 60mg, which you definitely will feel. This is all oral btw. Intranasal this doesn't really apply to, you're better off eating it anyways (high BOA, far less problematic), and this advice DEFINITELY does not apply to shooting it. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't blast any pills, at least not without knowing EXACTLY what you're fucking doing and using a legit wheel filter.

Nice handle BTW :) <3
 
30 hours into w/d from oc's. Just spent the last half hour-ish writing a really long intro post. I took pretty high doses leading up to tapering FAST the last four days. I feel surprisingly well, I'm not sure why I'm not destroying my living space with clawing out the walls. Has anyone experienced a W/D that was really heavy the first 8-12 hours after the last dose, and then smooth-ish sailing from there on out? Is it that 30 hours isn't long enough to be fully withdrawing and I'm kidding myself and get ready to feel it hard soon? Or could I really be pulling out of it this soon? Yesterday was the suck man I tell you!
 
diuqil said:
30 hours into w/d from oc's. Just spent the last half hour-ish writing a really long intro post. I took pretty high doses leading up to tapering FAST the last four days. I feel surprisingly well, I'm not sure why I'm not destroying my living space with clawing out the walls. Has anyone experienced a W/D that was really heavy the first 8-12 hours after the last dose, and then smooth-ish sailing from there on out? Is it that 30 hours isn't long enough to be fully withdrawing and I'm kidding myself and get ready to feel it hard soon? Or could I really be pulling out of it this soon? Yesterday was the suck man I tell you!
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how much were you using, and for how long?

- VE
 
240mg a day before I started taper. I tapered 4 days, forced myself through it, 40mg one day, 30mg, 20mg then 0mg. I'm almost done day two, and I'm still on the upward incline to feeling better. I actually just went for a walk, and I feel amazing after having done that!
 
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