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Prose The Lord of the Rings

December Flower

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
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Disclaimer: I was forced into making this thread about LOTR trivia under threats to my safety by @tubgirl.jpg
Please direct any complaints towards him :D

START ONE!
Worst case, nobody here cares about LOTR.
Best case - well, LOTR-fanclub!

Or I'm gon kill ye, boy howdy!


Have you ever watched The Lord of the Rings movies and wondered why they didn't use the Eagles to get to Mordor?

Have you ever wondered why the power of the One Ring is only to make you invisible and hear random mumbo-jumbo in the background, while experiencing a seriously disturbing DMT trip?

Have you ever thought Boromir was a dick?

Have you ever thought it plausible that Saruman can be killed by a fucking arrow?

Have you ever thought it makes sense that Mordor is empty?

Have you ever not realized how hard Aragorn mindfucks Sauron, which is the only reason they win in the end?

Worry not! The solution to your ignorance is finally here.

No, Tolkien did not have a massive hole in his brain that hindered him from concluding that Eagles would be very useful. They are immortal beings sent to Middle Earth to watch over Morgoth, the first Dark Lord, and later over Sauron, his pupil. Why did they not help? Why is it unwise to bring beings even more powerful than Gandalf, Saruman or Sauron close to the One Ring? Even Galadriel was jonesing over the Ring. That's why the Eagles only help Frodo and Sam after the Ring is destroyed, and not before.

The reason Frodo turns invisible, is because he is a Hobbit. Hobbits are like critters, they hide in the forest, away from other civilisation, but other Hobbits. On the finger of an Ainur(minor Gods) like Gandalf, Saruman or Sauron, the Ring is fucking powerful. What is displayed as mumbo-jumbo in the background while Frodo wears the Ring is actually the essence of Sauron, mostly chanting the Ring Inscription. Frodo feels Sauron, and Sauron feels Frodo.

Boromir is one of the greatest and deepest characters in LOTR, and he was really wronged by Peter Jackson. Boromir does everything for Minas Tirith, his life is 100% bound to it. He is a man of honor and duty, risking his life for his people on hundreds of occasions. His people are on the verge of dying, Minas Tirith is directly in front of the gates of Mordor. He sees his people dying, and he doesn't see Frodo succeeding. He is willing to himself become the next Dark Lord, just to save his people. He is not lusting after the ring, he would take it as a burden and sacrifice himself to save his people.

Saruman is immortal. Him dying by arrow is fucking sad :( They wanted a more "spectacular" ending for the immortal. I'm not going to spoil the actual ending here, but I find it a lot better, because..well most of all it makes sense. Second of all it's not Orlando Bloom killing him. Third because it's actually thought through, and a much deeper ending for Saruman. The whole idea of making Gandalf & Saruman just look like 2 old men with some magical abilities is ridiculous. They are just as powerful as Sauron.

Yeah Mordor's empty in the movies, and it makes no sense. Why did you think it made sense? They didn't even think about it.
It's just empty, cool story. The reason why Mordor is actually mostly empty, is because Aragorn tricked Sauron into believing that he has the Ring and that he's coming to kill Sauron. Sauron is so manic about the Ring, that he cannot think straight and attacks full force. However, Mordor is never empty, and Frodo and Sam are wearing orc clothes and armor for a long time to fit in.

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Feel free to talk about the books (or movies) here :)
Maybe someone wants to point out the parts of the movies that Peter Jackson didn't slaughter :D
There are many good ones. What's your favourite parts about the books/movies?
How often have you read/watched them? Who's your favourite character?
Do you wish they did more Hobbit songs in the movies?

I can't be the only person a bit manic about Middle Earth
 
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only a normie wouldn't know this essential knowledge

I read all the books plus the silmarillion when I was in rehab and jail lol

I love LOTR the books are so deep in lore. silmarillion was quite difficult to understand though

I also read a bunch of other books like IT which is 1400 pages
 
only a normie wouldn't know this essential knowledge

I read all the books plus the silmarillion when I was in rehab and jail lol

I love LOTR the books are so deep in lore. silmarillion was quite difficult to understand though

I also read a bunch of other books like IT which is 1400 pages
The sad truth is that many have not read any of the books :(
Even though they are fucking genius
 
I swear The Silmarillion reads like tolkein took acid and just started writing

It's really difficult to understand, it's not like a typical story or book

It's super complex and theres like 1000 characters introduced every second its crazy as I remember

idk it's like tolkein's world's Gods wrote a book and it was translated to english its weird
 
The sad truth is that many have not read any of the books :(
Even though they are fucking genius

Yeah I can understand why. I had a ton of time on my hands and no other options really. It's really a serious mental investment to read the books because they are so deep.

There I was in a cell or in a building with these books as my only entertainment. I read every night. I even got into the languages in the book and used to sing the songs in my head and imagine them. It was actually an amazing experience to get that deeply immersed into that world. The books are 10x deeper than the movies.
 
Interesting. I had a similar impression, because it's so unlinear.
Usually Tolkien is so structured
It's been a long time and I honestly do not remember much at all of that book. I really didn't enjoy reading it either, TBH. It was just so different than the books.

I could have been exhausted from reading, I don't remember, this was all 14 years ago
 
Yeah I can understand why. I had a ton of time on my hands and no other options really. It's really a serious mental investment to read the books because they are so deep.

There I was in a cell or in a building with these books as my only entertainment. I read every night. I even got into the languages in the book and used to sing the songs in my head and imagine them. It was actually an amazing experience to get that deeply immersed into that world. The books are 10x deeper than the movies.
I love to read like that. Imagining everything in detail, even though I could read much faster.
The songs are so deep. My favourite one is the last version of their travelling song that Frodo sings.

If 10x is even enough :D
 
I love to read like that. Imagining everything in detail, even though I could read much faster.
The songs are so deep. My favourite one is the last version of their travelling song that Frodo sings.

If 10x is even enough :D
Indeed the imagination of the mind will always beat a movie

picture is worth 1000 words bla bla lol
 
It's been a long time and I honestly do not remember much at all of that book. I really didn't enjoy reading it either, TBH. It was just so different than the books.

I could have been exhausted from reading, I don't remember, this was all 14 years ago
I've read it ages ago, but about a year ago I listened to it at work as an audiobook,
and it was much much easier to swallow all that information with an acoustic stimulus.
 
nerds unite

they'll start coming out of the woodworks, skittering around like little LOTR crackheads wanting trivia
You can never be too nerdy about Middle Earth :D

The fact alone that he actually created these languages, with grammar and everything, and that in the original versions you have to translate elvish to english in order to understand. It's like this world really exists, and he's just opening a window for us to look in
 
btw - Gandalf is kind of a fool and I think the hobbits got really damn lucky they saved the world, but every race is to blame in the end they're all racists!

except hobbits but midgets can't be racist its against the law
 
The whole thing was an Anti Nazi statement.
That's why LOTR is race war :D

Race war!!!! is yelled every 2 minutes in LOTR

kinda funny idk why im laughing

wow just realized there is no black people in LOTR.... I guess makes sense if you believe the theory that Tolkein was basically reinventing UK history as a fantasy. They say he didn't like his country's history so he invented a new one. If you believe that.
 
Wipe out all until there's only slaves of Sauron left :D

Ah crap i should have included "do you think orcs are evil?" :/ Orcs are such poor bastards man
 
well imagine how easy it would have been if all of the races didn't hate each other and the elves weren't such dickheads who are like "peace out im sailing to the place where I never die.... lmao good luck". The elves are cool but they're really kinda dicks. They're so obsessed with being immortal and perfect. Imagine if they actually helped instead of just at helms deep. And I'm not talking about Elrond who is a badass but basically does nothing except tell people some basic ass logical stuff to do. Also cockblocks his daughter.... total dick

lol just ranting
 
well imagine how easy it would have been if all of the races didn't hate each other and the elves weren't such dickheads who are like "peace out im sailing to the place where I never die.... lmao good luck". The elves are cool but they're really kinda dicks. They're so obsessed with being immortal and perfect. Imagine if they actually helped instead of just at helms deep. And I'm not talking about Elrond who is a badass but basically does nothing except tell people some basic ass logical stuff to do. Also cockblocks his daughter.... total dick

lol just ranting
Elves are weird. "Sooo the world is at stake... let's discuss poetry!"

I've always thought that to be a war statement, too. Yknow, the people that see bad happening, but they can just duck away somewhere safe, so that's what they do. The people in Minas Tirith don't have that choice, they will be wiped out, there's no doubt about it. It's just a matter of time. The Elves know this, but all they are concerned with is their own survival. There's lots of logic in the entire LOTR arc if you think about it as a metaphor for what was happening at the time in real life.
 
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