Positive The Tapering Support Thread v 2.0

[Squeaky]

I just finished work for the week, I managed to do everything I was supposed to do on time and correct, same as last week and it hasn't been easy to do at the same time as dealing with withdrawal from pods so I'm pleased with myself. I'm on 35mg weekly buprenorphine and it's enough, I'm not getting bad tempers or cravings, I've other pills but not opies or benzos, it's ok. Food, going to order something nice and relax.

Hang on and don’t give up! You’re making huge progress, even though it probably doesn’t feel like it right now.

 

[papercuts]

Hang on and don’t give up! You’re making huge progress, even though it probably doesn’t feel like it right now.

Does it feel like it? I'm sort of amazed at how much easier it was this year compared to last year when I quit, even though my consumption only went up during the year.

Somehow during the year of thinking about it, it got easier, or I collected together better meds for helping, plus my background health is a lot better, or even just that it hit me by surprise so I didn't have to deal with waiting for withdrawals to come on, that bit is not fun either and with pods you can wait days, not having your DOC and knowing what will happen soon enough.

I don't feel an inclination to go back. I've been cutting down on my other meds except buprenorphine which is at 40mg a week. It was 35 for a few days, but 40 takes it away completely. I'm almost at zero for the pills I've been taking, I really like clonidine, hadn't realised it was so nice or maybe it's just me, we all react differently to things. I'll keep the rest of the clonidine and gabapentin for tapering down bupe, which I can do by reducing it by 5mg at a time. The doctor increasd my prescription to 15mg a week, so that is my target to taper down to, but not quite yet, I'm still stabilising and I've plenty left.

I ran out of codeine, I keep looking at the empty box

 

[Squeaky]

I always kept my oxy in a drawer of my bedroom dresser. Several times I actually emptied every drawer, hoping I might find some that had spilled. I moved the dresser and looked underneath. I did find one, but only once. Looking back, I had a problem for a lot longer than I thought. Close to 2 years since my last oxy and I still think about checking my dresser…. just in case.

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

Huzzah I am officialy a legit patient and am down to the 3 mg of kpin i umm need to survive lol. and sleep. and leave the house. but ya'll aren't my damn doc so ill save it. BTW if anyone is actually following I would reccomend going from 3.5 to 3.25 not straight down to 3 as I have done. It is simply the reality that I have no extras and hell if im messing with the blackmarket with things being rescheduled and tossed around. So for the record 3.25 is where i should/would be. Supply dictates input lol.

 

[papercuts]

Massive doses of vitamin c actually ameliorate opiate WD and tolerance

Ascorbic acid (vitamin C) effects on withdrawal syndrome of heroin abusers - PubMed

The results indicate that high doses of ascorbic acid administered orally, may ameliorate the withdrawal syndrome of heroin addicts. Further studies are needed in order to estimate the dose- and time-dependent effects of ascorbic acid treatment, and to clarify its mechanisms of action in the...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

300 mg/kg is equivalent to 10 grams x3/day.

Liposomal Vitamin C does not cause diarrhea.

Seriously trying to help.

Definitely seems to be truth in this vitamin C claim.
The linked trial doesn't mention dose, I know the dose used in a similar study was 25g to 37g daily ascorbic acid. I've been eating the little fizzy 200mg orange flavored ones by the handful this kick and I have been amazed how easy it has been so far. It's only one of many things I'm using to help, but must be the most harmless of them.

I got my first day off work in weeks today, I hope to be off until tuesday, first time I've had too much time on my hands since quitting. I was at a loss of what to do with myself this morning. A day off work normally starts with an expresso pot of pods, then a few tokes to get me moving, or not, moving to the sofa at least, lol.

Instead I went out and did stuff, completely sober if you don't count my meds from the doctor which have been filling the gap.

Then came home at lunch and got nicely stoned, that's a well balanced day, lol.

Oh, the thing of note today to do with my kick is it's ten days since I decided, "Hey it's ten day since I stopped, I'm long over it, lets have a day off from sobriety" and I did, having decided that once every ten days would be safe enough. So today is ten days more, I thought about it, I could have, it's within my rules and I didn't. So that's a good sign and better than I could have expected with only having had a few months off it in the last few years and none of that was recent.
Once in the last 20 days, just once, other than that, no times at all

 

[Fungus_Am0nguz]

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Back at it again, rigs, spoon the whole works. What a fucking loser, almost 3 weeks of total destruction. And EVERYONE noticed and called me out and im like nah im cool, just a bit tired with my pinpoint eyes and groogy voice. Lost the confidence of my folks and real friends. Today is day 3, back on this fucking wagon but yesterday took a .40 cal out put in my head "dont be a pussy, this wont hurt a bit"....but a pussied out cause im still here. Wait this aint even thread post lol. Fuck this.

 

[Squeaky]

Definitely seems to be truth in this vitamin C claim.
The linked trial doesn't mention dose, I know the dose used in a similar study was 25g to 37g daily ascorbic acid. I've been eating the little fizzy 200mg orange flavored ones by the handful this kick and I have been amazed how easy it has been so far. It's only one of many things I'm using to help, but must be the most harmless of them.

I got my first day off work in weeks today, I hope to be off until tuesday, first time I've had too much time on my hands since quitting. I was at a loss of what to do with myself this morning. A day off work normally starts with an expresso pot of pods, then a few tokes to get me moving, or not, moving to the sofa at least, lol.

Instead I went out and did stuff, completely sober if you don't count my meds from the doctor which have been filling the gap.

Then came home at lunch and got nicely stoned, that's a well balanced day, lol.

Oh, the thing of note today to do with my kick is it's ten days since I decided, "Hey it's ten day since I stopped, I'm long over it, lets have a day off from sobriety" and I did, having decided that once every ten days would be safe enough. So today is ten days more, I thought about it, I could have, it's within my rules and I didn't. So that's a good sign and better than I could have expected with only having had a few months off it in the last few years and none of that was recent.
Once in the last 20 days, just once, other than that, no times at all

This is going to sound harsh, but it’s %100 true: If you haven’t quit then you’re still using. And as long as that is true, you will always risk a major relapse. Once every 10 days probably means you’re spending 90% of your time planning your next ‘break’, and 10% of your time high.

It’s basically impossible to actually go from a long-time addict to being a recreational user. That’s what I tried to do and I fell flat on my face. Then I looked around and discovered I’m not special…. just a junkie.

 

[kiely]

This is going to sound harsh, but it’s %100 true: If you haven’t quit then you’re still using. And as long as that is true, you will always risk a major relapse. Once every 10 days probably means you’re spending 90% of your time planning your next ‘break’, and 10% of your time high.

It’s basically impossible to actually go from a long-time addict to being a recreational user. That’s what I tried to do and I fell flat on my face. Then I looked around and discovered I’m not special…. just a junkie.

You are Not a junkie. You are not !!!

You are just trying to stay healthy from a disease.

And you are doing everything just great !!

It is a disease. And i always wondered why they prescribed more medicine because of it.

Thank you for your heart.

 

[Squeaky]

You are Not a junkie. You are not !!!

You are just trying to stay healthy from a disease.

And you are doing everything just great !!

It is a disease. And i always wondered why they prescribed more medicine because of it.

Thank you for your heart.

Thank you kiely. There really isn’t a good word to describe my situation. BUT there are plenty of days when my actions cannot be described as anything else. And I am painfully aware that if I don’t recognize that part of my life, I’ll never move forward.

 

[papercuts]

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Back at it again, rigs, spoon the whole works. What a fucking loser, almost 3 weeks of total destruction. And EVERYONE noticed and called me out and im like nah im cool, just a bit tired with my pinpoint eyes and groogy voice. Lost the confidence of my folks and real friends. Today is day 3, back on this fucking wagon but yesterday took a .40 cal out put in my head "dont be a pussy, this wont hurt a bit"....but a pussied out cause im still here. Wait this aint even thread post lol. Fuck this.

Hang in there fungus, you have better days ahead of you. I've wished for death in withdrawals too and I'm glad I don't have a .40
How are you feeling today?

 

[papercuts]

This is going to sound harsh, but it’s %100 true: If you haven’t quit then you’re still using. And as long as that is true, you will always risk a major relapse. Once every 10 days probably means you’re spending 90% of your time planning your next ‘break’, and 10% of your time high.

It’s basically impossible to actually go from a long-time addict to being a recreational user. That’s what I tried to do and I fell flat on my face. Then I looked around and discovered I’m not special…. just a junkie.

"Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good" normally a political comment, but appropriate here too.
I don't want to have a physical dependance on anything which would get me in trouble if caught at the airport.
That's all.
I'm not a convert to clean living, if it were all made legal tomorrow I'd brew up a huge pot in celebration.
I'm a pain patient but my condition is progressive, not a healing injury but a deteriorating situation and it gets very painful, I never know what tomorrow will hit me with.
I'm still being hit by random symptoms of withdrawal, three weeks on. That one day using made it worse.
If I had to face a future with no pain relief I'd be borrowing fungus's gun. I'm on palliative care with opioids for the rest of my life. For the last couple of years I've been trying to switch from pods to bupe patches, for most of that time I've used both. I got hooked on pods mainly for pain relief while the doctors were being dicks about it, I'd had them recreationally and knew it was good stuff.

Giving myself the option is just my way of quitting, like keeping some cigs in the drawer while quitting them, I calm down just by the knowledge that I can if I need to, then I'm less likely to need to. I'm not thinking about it all that much at all, it's when I'm using I spend my day thinking about it and so much time wasted on it then.
Besides I've some great weed atm to distract me.

Watch me @Squeaky I'm not getting hooked again before the summer ends and then I might not ever, who knows?

 

[Squeaky]

That one day using made it worse.

That one day using made it worse

That happens to me every time! I call it a ‘break’, or I say ‘I earned it’. But what kind of break did I earn that sends me back into wd for a month? I keep promising myself that it won’t be like last time and then it’s exactly like all of the ‘last times’.

 

[papercuts]

That happens to me every time! I call it a ‘break’, or I say ‘I earned it’. But what kind of break did I earn that sends me back into wd for a month? I keep promising myself that it won’t be like last time and then it’s exactly like all of the ‘last times’.

It's the way the withdrawals flared up that stopped me doing it again. I want to get clear of all of it, from the weird dreams to the restless legs.

I'm three weeks clear except once and the symptoms are still there when I reduce the clonidine or gabapentin, vitamin C, bupe or blackseed oil, but I'm hardly feeling it at all, only that one really bad night and morning at the start that almost had me going for proper maintenance on bupe, then I was able to keep pills down long enough for them to work and was too exhausted for anything.

I get about 1mg per day transdermal buprenorphine from four 10mg patches, but the bioavailability is much better transdermally so it's the same as a bit more than that would be sublingually. If anyone knows the numbers to put to that, please do.
I know pod withdrawals last a month, or three weeks in my experience, but this started as the hardest and now turned into the easiest.
I clonidine

 

[Squeaky]

It's the way the withdrawals flared up that stopped me doing it again. I want to get clear of all of it, from the weird dreams to the restless legs.

I'm three weeks clear except once and the symptoms are still there when I reduce the clonidine or gabapentin, vitamin C, bupe or blackseed oil, but I'm hardly feeling it at all, only that one really bad night and morning at the start that almost had me going for proper maintenance on bupe, then I was able to keep pills down long enough for them to work and was too exhausted for anything.

I get about 1mg per day transdermal buprenorphine from four 10mg patches, but the bioavailability is much better transdermally so it's the same as a bit more than that would be sublingually. If anyone knows the numbers to put to that, please do.
I know pod withdrawals last a month, or three weeks in my experience, but this started as the hardest and now turned into the easiest.
I clonidine

Beware… long term clonidine use has it’s own crappy list of wd’s. Nothing like opiates, but still pretty miserable.

I’m starting to understand that the only solution is to get away from all of it… including alcohol, nicotine, and weed. I just don’t know how that’s ever going to happen as long as I have life to handle. It seems that my life will have to change before my crutches go away.

 

[papercuts]

Beware… long term clonidine use has it’s own crappy list of wd’s. Nothing like opiates, but still pretty miserable.

I’m starting to understand that the only solution is to get away from all of it… including alcohol, nicotine, and weed. I just don’t know how that’s ever going to happen as long as I have life to handle. It seems that my life will have to change before my crutches go away.

I got down near zero for clonidine and gabs without a lot of trouble, I don't know how much black seed oil helps, but I keep squirting a few drops under my tongue then try to stop it burning my throat, takes my mind off the way the room sways and I break into a sweat if I try to move.

Sorry, to explain, I've gone down to 35mg bupe per week from 40mg, just yesterday, I expected it would take a few days to hit me, but no, this morning I have those all too familiar "uncomfortable flu like symptoms" we all know and hate, beginning with my guts emptying while I cling to something solid for support and my sleeve covered in snot like a wee kid's because tissues won't keep up.

But on the bright side I can go straight back up on gabs and clonidine and feel very little of it after I get moving to help myself.
I'm out of codeine, I've got tramadol which I know some people love, but I'm not a fan, it gives me a hangover the next day to add to my wds, but it's there if I need it.

Now 27 days since quitting pods, with only one day of oops since.

Surprising how much it affected me going from 40 to 35mg, I thought of that as a very small drop?

If 35 is this hard, will I make it to 15?

 

[Squeaky]

I got down near zero for clonidine and gabs without a lot of trouble, I don't know how much black seed oil helps, but I keep squirting a few drops under my tongue then try to stop it burning my throat, takes my mind off the way the room sways and I break into a sweat if I try to move.

Sorry, to explain, I've gone down to 35mg bupe per week from 40mg, just yesterday, I expected it would take a few days to hit me, but no, this morning I have those all too familiar "uncomfortable flu like symptoms" we all know and hate, beginning with my guts emptying while I cling to something solid for support and my sleeve covered in snot like a wee kid's because tissues won't keep up.

But on the bright side I can go straight back up on gabs and clonidine and feel very little of it after I get moving to help myself.
I'm out of codeine, I've got tramadol which I know some people love, but I'm not a fan, it gives me a hangover the next day to add to my wds, but it's there if I need it.

Now 27 days since quitting pods, with only one day of oops since.

Surprising how much it affected me going from 40 to 35mg, I thought of that as a very small drop?

If 35 is this hard, will I make it to 15?

It’s always a game of percentages. And bupe lasts a long time In your system, much longer than other opiates. It’s the primary reason that I chose not to go that route. Cold turkey off oxy means weeks of suffering, but bupe wd’s can last for months. Most ‘good’ people who transition to bupe will likely be dependent on it forever. As difficult as it can be to maintain a job/home/family through weeks of wd’s (which has a lot to do with my inability to stay away from oxy)….. I’m absolutely certain that a few years on bupe will either become a lifetime of prescriptions, or end in the complete destruction of my world when I quit.

My goal has always been to get away from these things, not going deeper into some sort of dependence on a prescription. The day I get diabetes will be the day I give up Coca Cola. It won’t be the day I switch to diet soda.

 

[Painful One]

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Back at it again, rigs, spoon the whole works. What a fucking loser, almost 3 weeks of total destruction. And EVERYONE noticed and called me out and im like nah im cool, just a bit tired with my pinpoint eyes and groogy voice. Lost the confidence of my folks and real friends. Today is day 3, back on this fucking wagon but yesterday took a .40 cal out put in my head "dont be a pussy, this wont hurt a bit"....but a pussied out cause im still here. Wait this aint even thread post lol. Fuck this.

Hugs.
Hold on.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

It's a brave new world. I mean I don't see it as a problem to use opioid replacement therapy indefinitely if it means having a better life. Isn't that idea of greater wellness what drugs first preyed upon in us? What is normal? Heck if I know!

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

flexeril seems to help with benzo w/ds lol too bad i basically said nah and just grabbed weekend worth. I remember them doing nothing in the past. (nothing discernable at least)

 

[Squeaky]

It's a brave new world. I mean I don't see it as a problem to use opioid replacement therapy indefinitely if it means having a better life. Isn't that idea of greater wellness what drugs first preyed upon in us? What is normal? Heck if I know!

I agree, it’s just not a solution for me. Everyone’s gotta do what’s best for themselves. I keep telling myself that I’m tough enough to beat this 100%. That means I can’t switch to bupe or I’d be giving up.