^Please do not beat yourself up... I am the last one to judge.
Due to my migraine, I have let myself down in that I did not attack my taper schedule with the confidence I felt yesterday. I have cut down just a bit, from the doses I took Tuesday, and at least I had an illuminating thought.
I realized that I was posting I would start "tomorrow" or "when I got my next re-fill" it was never at that moment. Squeaky, I realized that after I posted my last response to you about my migraine. So, instead of taking another dose of pain meds, I took my migraine medication. It took the edge off of my headache, and I did not indulge in extra opiates.
I read somewhere that when quitting an addiction, every time we take a step in the direction opposite of using, such as posting, skipping a dose, taking a decreased dose, calling a friend, journaling...even waiting an extra 10 minutes before taking the next scheduled dose, we weaken the addiction. That is why I plan on not giving up... I have read accounts on BL of people struggling for years to quit their drug of choice. Those that stuck with it are the ones who came back to report success. I am not giving up, even though I have not yet had a "perfect taper" day for awhile now. But, I started right around 4:30pm today to taper, not tomorrow, not the week-end. If I was not posting that reply, Squeaks, I may not have realized that I would never start my taper. So, I am now going to be aware that I can start a taper at midnight, if that is what is called for. And, because we are chronic pain peeps, when we have extra pain or have to increase our dosage for a time, so be it. I have to make sure that my overall direction is a decrease in the meds I take. Whether I use a week, 2 weeks, or a month as a measuring point in time, as long as I have decreased my dosages even 5% or 10% during my designated time frame, I will be happy. I will keep a journal to record my statistics, so that I am not fooling myself, or else I will use an old blog that I keep private, to record all my stats. But, I will come here to check in and process my successes and my setbacks. I hope you get a good sleep tonight, S.!