@Blankenstein man I am really scared for you, the path you're going down with your substance abuse. At the rate you're going, it is not going to end well
And I really, really want to see you get through this unscathed
What's your plan to gain a bit more control on your substance use and general situation?
So everyone’s been telling me I’m going to OD and I’ve been saying it won’t happen to me and I have this superhuman tolerance to opiates (pharmaceuticals) and I wanted to shoot heroin and people on this site and people im friends with in the real world were pleading with me to not do it and I’m telling everyone im fine and it won’t happen to me.
So it did happen to me last night/Christmas night. I over dosed. I didn’t die, but I probably would have if I was by my self.
I had a point of what i was told was very strong. I met up after family christmas festivities with a very close friend. we were going to grab another .15g.
I took with me a fresh fit box, 2 naloxone nasal sprays and half way there realised I’d forgotten another injectable form of narcan. I said fuck it I won’t need it and kept going.
My very close friend who has been an IV user for years knew i was going to do this so said he would reluctantly show me how to do it safely.
We went through the procedures for using the narcan (he had another, so we had 3 nasal narcans in total). We wrote down the address of the unit so if I had to call an ambulance I would give an accurate address.
He tasted the heroin and said it tasted strong. We were trying to get more to pick up but said we would do a shot each before we went to get it. We dumped out 2/3s of the point. We drew up into our own syringes. I had slightly less than a third of the point in total.
As a reference for my tolerance in the space of 3 hours I had recently eaten x-amount so I told him I had a tolerance to opiates.
He found a vein, registered, i pushed the plunger and he asked how I felt. I said I don’t feel anything, because I here I am thinking I have a “superhuman tolerance”.
I felt a little warm then went blank… next thing I’m wide awake and he’s slapping me and screaming and sobbing. He thought he’d lost his best friend. He’d hit me with one narcan and nothing, then the second and I made a wheezing noise i think he said.
I got up and was saying “this must be a dream” repeatedly. Then realised it wasn’t and my best friend had saved my life.
If I hadn’t gone to meet him I was probably going to inject the same amount (probably more tbh) by myself Either that night or the next.
He had had his shot so was a little high, we discussed what happened and how he’s narcanned a few people and lost a couple of friends to overdose (not while he was present), but this one would have destroyed him.
One of the heaviest moments of my life…
So then we go buy more heroin…
but obviously we won’t use it unless we can find a pharmacy open on Christmas night at 10pm to buy narcan. We find one open and the dealer drives us across town and drops us there, but that pharmacy hasn’t signed up to the narcan program… and nowhere else is open. So we go back, but only to smoke some.
I smoke a little, but it’s a waste. So we inject it…
I miss a shot and my mate gets smashed and I end up sitting with him for hours into daylight to make sure he’s ok then when he’s ok I leave and I have checked on him several times through the day.
I still have a small amount left, which every logical cell in my body is telling me to flush, but yeh…
So that’s how my Christmas turned out. If only i listened to everyone on this site (and the friend who had to save my life) who told me not to do it, but hey I survived so maybe I can use this second chance to help someone struggling. I’m not sure, it’s still pretty raw and I’m processing what happened.
