I was up early so hit the vapes for a bit (weed and nicotine) while watching the sunrise, listening to john butler trio. It a beautiful morning, have a great day everyone!
Got up at 5:56 today woken up by my mom calling me from my parking lot (I live in an apartment) telling me my grandmother passed (she's been on hospice)
anyways so then I promptly got up and went outside to talk/consoled her thru her sobbing and it took everything in me not to cry but I wanted to be strong for her
anyways she needed to cal. Down or she was gonna hyperventilate so I handed her a joint and a cigarette and told her tobreathe snd give her a peach .25mg Xanax I had In my pocket cuz I had it in my pocket cuz I passed out last night off 4mg alpraz
Anyway she left to go deal with her mind and she said she wanted to be alone so I didn't go with her but I told her to call me for absolutely in your reason and then I came inside and smacked a king size cone with kief packed in throughout the cone then popped 3-4mg Xanax and about to smoke three more joints too
I'm not okay but this is a manageable amount of acute emotional distress with meds and weed and my girl with me everyday more than anything I'm just concerned about how my mom's feeling about her mom being gone and they didn't end on good terms either and ikit's killing her
Anyways I'm done rambling on about my personal shit I just kind of started typing and couldn't stop venting
ended up taking 2.5mg clonazepam cuz my grandmother's funeral was today and hit me a lil harder then I thought it would but no suicidal ideations or anything
But on a happier note I bought 20 scripted 1mg footballs just now and getting another 70 sack in a bit too
Coffee, some shaman detox tea, and because it's a holiday Monday and I'm feeling bored while at the same time pressured to do (boring) stuff, I took some clona. Enjoying the tingling, somewhat cool feeling it left on my tongue and palate.